Borderline Personality Disorder

“Were you just looking at her?!! WERE YOU?!!,..I bet you just wanna fuck her don’t you?,.. DON’T YOUUU!!!”

One curious aspect of the manosphere community is it’s tendency to pick up on what I’d call ‘pet pathologies’. It’s very easy and comforting to ascribe a general lack of social intelligence or a retardation in social maturity on Asperger’s Syndrome. I’m not suggesting that Asperger’s isn’t a legitimate pathology, but I think the frequency with which men will conveniently attribute their social awkwardness to it delegitimizes the real illness. Most Betas often report a discomfort with approaches and Game in general because of varying degrees of social anxiety that they’ve internalized for the better part of their lives.

So, it’s a much simpler premise to attribute this to a psychological disorder than to admit that they’ve got a lot of work ahead of them in unlearning the hinderances the’ve been conditioned to believe about themselves for so long. I’m not saying guys (why is it rarely women?) don’t have Asperger’s, but I think some real introspection is due before diagnosing it for themselves. Another neurosis that gets attributed to women in the manosphere is BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder:

*DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships,  self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days). Chronic feelings of emptiness. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights). Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I struggled with deciding whether to write about this because in our current intergender environment, it’s very easy to conveniently ascribe these symptoms and tendencies to the ‘psycho bitches’ that men often complain about. She’s crazy in bed, but she’s also crazy out of bed. I would doubt that there’s a man dating in the last decade who hasn’t encountered one or some combination of neurosis listed in this clinical diagnosis with a woman he’s dating or has dated.

As the gender landscape has developed in the last 40 years, so to has the variety of  psychoses. So it’s for this reason that I think understanding true BPD neurosis in comparison to the common anxieties of insecurity that women are prone needs to be explored.

True BPDs

I had an LTR with a BPD woman for 4 years when I was in my 20s and I can tell you from experience, it’s nothing to laugh at or take lightly. It’s particularly damaging for AFCs locked into a BPDs negative feedback loop, especially when he’s developed a soul destroying ONEitis with her and associates himself as the source of her depression / psychosis.

True BPDs progressively convince their victims that they are the source of her neurosis. You are not yourself, you are who she’s molding you to be, and eventually you’ll come to believe that it’s in your best interest – indeed, your responsibility – to be who she wants you to be to sustain that neurosis.

You will gradually give up on your family and friends (or they give up on you), you will drop all ambitions and passions that directly focus on you, and you will abandon any genuine, independent identity you held for yourself, all because these are threats to the neurotic narrative she constructs for herself and lives out.

She will reward your conversion to her psychosis with the intermittent reward of crazy hot sex, but this is simply the reinforcer to keep you locked into her narrative. The YOU you know will cease to exist and the character she creates for you will take over. This is especially true for beta chumps who see their BPD as their best, only option for a long term romantic prospect. She’s an HB 9 (to him) and he’s never fucked better than a 5 in his whole life, so the risk of catastrophic loss is real and ever-present. It’s fate that brought them together, and if he can only help allay her fears they can live happily ever after.

In the latter stages of a BPD relationship you will get to the point where her overt cuckolding of you is an acceptable situation. You think you’ll mitigate it by negotiating some “open relationship” status with her. You will internalize the reasoning that negotiating for her desire is preferable to losing her. You’ll propose that an open relationship means you’re both free to fuck other parties, when in reality it’s the only way you can rationalize for yourself the fact that she’s going to go fuck other guys, and you’re going to accept it because you’re locked into her neurosis. It’s your fault she feels compelled to fuck other guys – and you’ll believe it.

That, or the mere suggestion of you being interested in sex with another woman will send her into fits of jealous, histrionic rage. You’re living in fear. You’re afraid she’ll commit suicide if you uproot yourself (a classic BPD unspoken threat), but trust me on this, it’ll be you who swallows a bullet long before she ever will. I’ve personally known two men who’ve done just this, and another who hung himself as the result of a BPD relationship.

I know it seems like most of the friends you still do have are simply passing you off by saying “get out” and move on, but your life literally depends on you doing so. Cutting you off and disengaging you from external perspectives about your twisted relationship is essential to a BPD’s neurosis. Eventually your friends and family will give up on the ‘new you’.

Also, I must add this, when and if you do finally muster the self-concern enough to actually leave her, expect a complete about-face in her mentality and behavior. The one thing a true BPD loathes more than her victim is the thought of having to ensnare another. There are plenty of other Beta chumps ready to fill that role, but the comfort and easy predictability you represent to her in the present builds an emotional dependency. BPDs will fight like wild animals not to lose their victim, so expect an extinction burst from her the likes of which are unimaginable.

For a guy so accustomed to her neurotic behavior, his first impression is that she’s making some real change for him in order to “improve the relationship.” It’s not, but so radical a shift in her behavior will convince you otherwise, and cause you to doubt her deception, particularly when you yourself have no options and believe you’ll never do any better than her.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

Leave a Reply

  Subscribe  
Notify of
margott
Guest
margott
Offline

guys, keep in mind, the male BPD also exists. This is not, because I am a female, just to be scientifically proper, when you want to understand something. YES, FEMALE BPD (HISTRIONIC, EVEN THOUGH DSM HAS LISTED THEM SEPARETELY) VERY PROMISCUOUS….TERRRRRIBLE, MANIPULATIVE ETC. HOWEVER, LATELY MANY PROMINANT PSYCHOLOGISTS ARGUE, THAT THE NUMBER AMONG MEN IS UNDERESTIMATED, BECAUSE THE MALE BPD MANIFESTS VERY DIFFERENTLY.
just google ‘fragile and dangerous men’.

LiveFearless
Guest

@margott

There is a reason that a WOMAN made a movie about a woman with BPD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gumcX3zgvcY

EVERY man should see this film. It’s available for rent or purchase on iTunes, Vimeo and many other sources. The understanding you’ll gain might just save your life. Thank you, Rollo, for writing such an accurate description of BPD. Those of us that have been in a relationship with one in the past are thankful to be alive.

emmanuel omassi
Guest

I have been with a girl that has BPD now for a year and half, she refuses to get treatment, I have now thrown her out 6 times now, this time I dumped her on the phone, I was out of the country, she started demanding for material things like a car and a house, and a dog, we had just gotten back together for 2 months, I told her that we will do this in near future, these were plans we had prior to her acting up, all of a sudden, in a phone conversation, she started asking for… Read more »

alexi
Guest
alexi
Offline

Emmanuel, are you serious dude? Or just trolling?? If what you say is even real, there’s so many things wrong with your post idk where to begin. Bugging her phone? Cheating? Justifying cheating bc “you’ve had better”? Honestly id be disgusted if I dated you. I’m not even sure if the girl has bpd, or if she’s simply tired of your shit. Its understandable why she’s lashing out at you. I think she needs to find her independence and self worth, bpd or not, and leave the relationship for good. If you are tired of her then you should end… Read more »

emmanuel omassi
Guest

Sorry but you have not read what I wrote properly, number one she does not know that I have been bugging her phones or anything, number 2 it is only in the last 2 or 3 months that I have discovered that she is BPD and I have been speaking to doctors that specialize in mental illness and they want me to bring her in to make a diagnoses number 3 she has never caught me cheating actually, she believes that I have been cheating with an ex, when we broke up in past, I became verbally abusive yes because… Read more »

alexi
Guest
alexi
Offline

Emmanuel, you are scum whether she knows it or not. You don’t belong in a relationship if you are verbally abusive, cheating, and value your partner according to her sexual abilities mainly. She might have a feeling about how scummy you are. Then, instead of attempting to better yourself, you dump all responsibility and blame on her. Because of her low self worth, she accepts it. Whether you agree with me or not, you know you should end the relationship. She is clinging to you due to low self worth, and you cling to her for the ego boost of… Read more »

emmanuel omassi
Guest

If I was the scum I would not have put forward the hundreds of thousands of dollars in projects, I am sitting with a farm project outside of Guadalajara Mexico, that has nothing to do with me, I am not one that came up with these brilliant projects and then walk away from them, I am sure that if your boyfriend came up to you and asked you to invest in these type of projects and then walked away for no reason at all, that you would give him shit also, and I am not valuing anyone on there sexual… Read more »

emmanuel omassi
Guest

also during time that we are together I have never been verbally abusive, you have to understand we get along amazing, we do not even ever have an argument, it is only after she had her episodes that I become abusive.

alexi
Guest
alexi
Offline

Wow. What an entitled narcissist prick. As a romantic partner, you’re scum. I don’t care what “projects” you may be working on. If she can’t let go, then its your duty to let go of the failed relationship. No one is holding a gun to your head. And get a shrink if you can’t seem to use logic or be a good partner. I’m done and won’t be answering this thread anymore. I’m unsubscribing. Bubye.

emmanuel omassi
Guest

typical run away, in life people have to be responsible, for what they do. you cannot run forever, I you start something in life you have to finish, at least I am taking the initiative to change and understand the problem and change. I do not run away from things, unlike you as I see, typical coward, like you said earlier, you have decided that you cannot be with men, because you cannot deal with it, so run along little girl.

alexi
Guest
alexi
Offline

Really? Wow. Yeah I can’t wait to get a narcissistic psychopath like you to bug my phone, cheat on me, verbally abuse me and critique my sexual performance. Sounds fuckin awesome (obvious sarcasm). Anyway, I’m now unsubscribed and won’t be able to see future comments from crazy assholes. Goodbye.

trackback

[…] and several other women most guys just fantasize about – half the reason I stayed with the BPD girlfriend for so long was because she was just so fucking hot – but not once did I have any thought of […]

melasoban
Guest
melasoban
Offline

I think the increment of Asperger traits on men and BPD on women is dictated by the abuse of brain stimulation through continuous arousal fueled by novelty. If you watch the famous TED talk “The Demise of Guys” you will find out that Phillip Lombardo describes the increment of guys who are struggling on communicating with the opposite sex among other problems like lack of motivation to engage in longer term rewarding activities. There I decided to start researching behavioural patterns to find out how to overcome procrastination and porn (which in the end are related). Yourbrainonporn gave me the… Read more »

Factcheck
Guest
Factcheck
Offline

@melasoban: Get your facts straight. Aspergers is genetic while bpd is learned behaviour.

melasoban
Guest
melasoban
Offline

Rollo Stated “It’s very easy and comforting to ascribe a general lack of social intelligence or a retardation in social maturity on Asperger’s Syndrome. I’m not suggesting that Asperger’s isn’t a legitimate pathology, but I think the frequency with which men will conveniently attribute their social awkwardness to it delegitimizes the real illness.”

What I am stating is that social intelligence/retardation can easily become a “not learned behaviour” if a guy spends most of his time behind interactions with machines instead of persons, therefor he could display some traits that are related to asperger’s

Naomi
Guest
Naomi
Offline

After reading these comments and hearing people’s experiences with BPD women, I’m mortified. I am a 21 year old woman with BPD and I have been in a committed relationship with a guy for almost 3 years now. I recognize some of the BPD behavior in myself, the self-justifying, selfishness, and over-emotional outbursts that have been prevalent in our relationship. After reading the comments, I can simply assume that my boyfriend must be a saint. He has managed to keep me interested, make me want to be monogamous, force me to address my issues, realize I have BPD and hasn’t… Read more »

M Simon
Guest
M Simon
Offline

Naomi
July 8th, 2015 at 1:22 am

You might try making friends with one of his “openings”. Sometimes it helps. The competition can help you improve. OTOH it might not work. But as long as you are trying to make yourself better it is worth at least one try.

High functioning BPD patient
Guest
High functioning BPD patient
Offline

Aww–did she hurt you? The woman/women you’ve dealt with are in no way representative of everyone with BPD, and it’s asinine to try to apply your highly specific experiences (such as the open relationship thing) to all women with BPD.

adnan khondker
Guest
adnan khondker
Offline

haha the borderline female and the one sides open relationship. the borderline female will always be in an open relationship, but only on her end. if you so much as hold an innocent nonsexual non flirtatious conversation with another female, it will throw the clown into a fit of anger and jealousy. this coming from the same clown who cheats on you and is always craving male attention. my only advice is, if you are with a borderline woman, cheat on her. she is cheating on you so do the same to her. do not be a beta male chump… Read more »

Alexandra Serban
Guest

“She’s an hb 9 (to him) and he’s never fucked better than a 5. Catastrophic loss”. LOol. I’m supposed to believe that males are capable of love when the they say shit like this??: sounds like y’all are nothing but shallow sex addicts. Don’t worry, this evil bpd wants nothing to do with your ” love”. I want money and I always get it.l

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

I have relived a long ago memory reading the site. In support of all the other unfortunates, I’ll relate my tale – but be warned – it’s an ugly tale! So, to start, I discovered that my ex was having an affair, revolving around a “church based canoe group”.Initially, I began questioning and blaming myself, telling her that we needed to work it out. I spoke to a professional seeking support and answers, who somehow got her in to see him. He reported to me that he diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, and that I had some major choices… Read more »

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

A little further look into the brain of a BPD – quotes from a BPD serial cheater—- 1 – After buying my BPD cheating ex a new car, she wanted to take a continuing education 2 day class in auto maintenance. I wasn’t interested, saying we could pay for someone to take care of the car better than I could. She attended the class and slept with the mechanic. When I was astounded that she would do this, I could only ask why – she said that “I didn’t care about her” – (forget the $50,000 sports car she was… Read more »

beave
Guest
beave
Offline

tbh all the bpd’s in our lives shook us out of the bullshit story we told ourselves about ourselves. sure it sucks, but i would nvr go back to how i once thought of the world. ugh just thinking about how i was back then… bleh. I like to think its like the universe sharpening u into something worthwhile.

im pretty sure i can tell if ur a bpd by just talking to u. they have no life in them. or essence? idk definitely made life more interesting.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

A distinct danger to a male, who is ever married to a cheating BPD wife, is that you eventually may be unsure if “your” children are actually yours! I know if a case where an older guy married a younger woman and she had a daughter a couple of years later. The man eventually found out that his young wife was cheating on him and confronted her. Well, it got ugly – she eventually ditched the guise of an insulted, falsely accused wife, confessing that she had cheated and that the daughter was not his biological child, but that of… Read more »

bo jangles
Guest
bo jangles
Offline

Borderlines are living in their own personal hell often with a 10% suicide rate. Here is an interesting type of treatment they have been using successfully for it. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

I forgot to relate a very positive result from my horrible experiences with a cheating BPD ex wife! I experienced the joke teller’s dream turn around – I divorced the nasty, 40-something whore wife #1 and remarried a spiritually and physically beautiful 20-something woman! A spectacular trade! For all those struggling with the decision of divorce or hang on —- I can absolutely assure and encourage you to remove yourself from the BPD. It’s a big world, with a lot of normal women – some even fabulous – and your life with one of them will change so much, you… Read more »

RaiNFall
Guest
RaiNFall
Offline

Why can’t we start making a list of them and start naming names? At least when guys in online dating google them, they can run

Lidiam0ndz
Guest
Lidiam0ndz
Offline

Should have done a more thorough search, thanks for this!

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

A BPD is the most evil person I encountered in my long life, by a wide margin!

Whether they can help themselves or not, they are still guilty.

No matter what they do, they often believe that apologizing heals every wound they have inflicted.

They are soul less monsters!

Run away from them, as fast and far as you can.

Jayboy
Guest
Jayboy
Offline

Untill I educated myself on this whole BPD Behaviour I had no idea what the ***k was going on, it is a huge waste of time and constant re assurance in order to maintain the relationship. Looking back having been 4 years in.. with a great looking girl I have to admit, you gotta go out there and turn off your feelings. The one thing these nut jobs will do is get you to open up emotionally so they can manipulate you. Which sounds like not a big deal, but if you’ve experienced say, a death in the family or… Read more »

Wild Man
Guest
Wild Man
Offline

@JayBoy – Everything you say is same as my experience, so I vigorously agree it is best to see the signs so as not to engage at all in the first place. For me, the strangest part about it all was – after I erroneously got too deeply involved and knew what I was dealing with – I started looking into BDP, and the psych community does outline alot that rings true, but I still couldn’t really completely reconcile it all in my mind – i.e. – after the relationship was ended, I had this strong desire to still know… Read more »

RaiNFall
Guest
RaiNFall
Offline

It’s fascinating how these BPDs work. They look for men with wounds (e.g custody battle, divorce, lost job recently, etc) and they pounce. They do whatever they can to scare the smart men away. I’ve ran from the hills of so many of them, but i see their same patterns.

I have a few acquaintances/ “Cool Girls” that are Cluster B/comorbid BPD that show me how they work. They basically do ridiculous shit to guys and whoever sticks around, they know they have total control over them.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

The mindset needed to deal with these freaks is to realize that they are not tied to you, like you may be to them. They are like 5 year olds choosing games at a toy store, and have absolutely no problem with losing interest in your game, breaking vows and confidences, always rationalizing that you caused them to do it. Do not allow one of them to steal years of your life – they don’t care about you, only looking for a moments shelter – but never establishing any bonds to you, the situation, other people in the family, or… Read more »

RaiNFall
Guest
RaiNFall
Offline

Amen, this is so true.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

Just like in a TV Soap Opera, its all about acting like they are someone else – someone they skillfully calculate you will like.

RaiNFall
Guest
RaiNFall
Offline

They’re wearing the same masks that the narcissists hides.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

I was rereading my long post describing my long ago marriage ending drama with a cheating BPD wife. One other detail is illustrative of how shallow and desperate these monsters are —— I described an apparent attempted suicide, more cheating, and her leaving. What I left out is that she moved in with still another boyfriend within weeks, quit her medical professional job, and moved across the country – all within months of our divorce. From what I’ve read, career interruptions and cross-country relocations are common with BPDs, as well has having additional “boy friends” already in line when the… Read more »

trackback

[…] From Hugh: […]

SFC Ton
Guest
SFC Ton
Offline

test

Randy Treibel
Guest
Randy Treibel
Offline

Also be aware of why you liked this woman. When the next hottie comes a long that is madly in to you even if it seems realistic, ask some real questions to them and yourself.

farmlegend
Guest
farmlegend
Offline

Tell me this crazy bitch doesn’t have BPD written all over her.

http://www.snopes.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/christy-sheats.png

http://heavy.com/news/2016/06/christy-sheats-texas-mother-mom-kills-shoots-daughters-madison-taylor-facebook-guns-husband-jason/

She has the same look in her eyes as the woman that introduced me to BPD – that being my ex-wife. I’m seriously lucky to have gotten away from her with my life.

Randy C Treibel
Guest

Yup, reminds me a a woman i dated for 4 months. Crazy eyes, dumped by husband, lost a ton of a weight. Suing her own sister, possibly brother, father, me, ex-husband, etc. Multiple suicide attempts, false restraining orders and false rape claims.

I’m sure by now she’s found some loser who has ego filling needs to idolize. I found that crap creepy but tolerated it for 4 months because we banged it out 3-5 times a day, every single day.

She’ll probably kill herself by 45(i think she just turned 38)

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

Revisiting the site after a few months and have a comment about dealing with a BPD. One of the BPD’s greatest fears is that people will find out what they are! They are constant manipulators of all acquaintances and cannot stand for there B S to be revealed. I related previously that my ex-wife suddenly quit her 6 figure medical job within weeks of our separation, to hook up with a canoe guide and move across country. I’m fairly certain that one of our final conversations caused this, one where I told her that she was a fool with all… Read more »

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

Another word of caution concerning BPD partners. There is ample literature documenting potential violence by BPD people against family, as well as acquaintances. In my individual case, my ex was in the medical field with access to drugs. I experienced several instances where she, unknown to me, administered drugs to me, as follows: – An unknown number of times administered antibiotics in my food treating me for STD she had contracted and passed to me. – At least one instance of secretly administering a sleep inducing drug to me. (I later considered whether this should be reported as a safety… Read more »

Roused
Guest
Roused
Offline

Thanks Hugh, another wakeup call for me. Scary shit.

https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/02/spare-the-rod/comment-page-2/#comment-172480

Randy C Treibel
Guest

Hugh, so sorry to hear about how bad you’ve had it. Should i be more scared? I’ve been sued 6 times now by a BPD in 13 months and she continues to revenge stalk me for leaving her. I don’t think she’ll get violent, but stories like this make me wonder if i should be more cautious.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

When dealing with a BPD always remember not to assume that your morals and logic are even remotely related to their morals and logic. Just because you would never commit an act doesn’t mean a BPD wouldn’t, plus blame you for “forcing them” to do it.

I’d be very careful with someone that obsessed Randy!

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

The malfunctioning brain of a BPD is impossible to understand using logic. Once they have you in a relationship with them, they seek total control by manipulation. They want you to sacrifice who you are completely. My BPD -ex rather successfully isolated me from family and friends for a time – always having a reason to not visit or have activities with family or my friends.Family group vacations were out, family dinners were out, golfing with buddies was severely criticized on every occasion. (Note – I was/am an accomplished tournament player, but she thought I should stop playing). Mind you,… Read more »

justactsane
Guest

Seriously. This is so ignorant. This is NOT BPD! This is sociopaths. Please, learn the difference so that the right treatment can be offered to those with BPD. Because they can actually get healthy again. Sociopaths and psychopaths can’t. BPD’s have feelings they don’t know how to regulate. SP/PP’s don’t have any empathy at all for other people sometimes. BPD’s love too intense, are too loyal etc, PP/SP’s will make you become loyal by threatening you. BPD’s don’t make you cut off your family. That’s what the other group does. PLEASE, please educate yourself on the topic more. She may… Read more »

justactsane
Guest

They also don’t have psychosis. They have denationalization and act dissociation.

Randy Treibel
Guest
Randy Treibel
Offline

Nothing you said was mutually exclusive. BPDs are “too loyal”? You sound like you might have BPD and are defending it. I can’t even think i’ve ever met a BPD who wasn’t a sociopath, or as they often call them, narcopaths.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

I don’t diagnose people, I report what Psychiatrists report after analyses and testing. I disagree that there is a cure for BPD. My ex is still as dangerous as ever, recently threatening her 92 year old step mother over inheritance and a will, after initially pretending to be greatly concerned with caring for the old lady. She didn’t get answers that she wanted and flipped to her true black self! I agree with the previous poster, that your criticism indicates your own condition. That’s reported as a main problem with possible BPD improvement – an inability to comprehend their own… Read more »

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

“Get What You Deserve” – Tedeschi Trucks Band.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

Destroying the lives of everyone around them, including their own children, qualifies BPDs for nothing but contempt, rejection, and the life they forced on others!

The Porcelain Doll
Guest

Reblogged this on perfectlyfadeddelusions.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

It’s ironic and instructive that we are told that a BPD’s feelings are something like,
“I hate you, don’t leave me” while those involved with and betrayed by BPD’s have feelings something like, “I hate you, please leave me”.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

A spot on summary!

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

Another plain speaking guide to spotting a BPD, and why you must not be drawn in by their attraction tricks, controlling, and inevitable destruction of their victims.

trackback

[…] Love is Just a Four Letter Word Types of women to avoid How a Borderline Relationship Evolves ** The Rational Male – Borderlines are CUNTS BPD and Emotional Abuse ** Why 9 out 10 Sluts Have […]

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

It’s difficult for normal people to realize that to a BPD person, you are akin to just another tree in a forest, offering them temporary shelter from today’s sudden storm. Tomorrow, another tree that’s more immediately available will be chosen and any memory of you will be eliminated. When they find another tree, they quickly conclude that you were inferior protection from the storm and are now unworthy. That is precisely how little you mean to them!

Johnny
Guest
Johnny
Offline

D.R is the craziest bitch I ever met. No man I know likes her. She talks shit about everyone. She’s ugly, smells horrible, family doesn’t even like her, no sex appeal. A total psycho bitch

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

Here’s a good guide to rebuilding our self respect after a BPD relationship, and good advice on how to avoid becoming a doormat for a BPD woman.

https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-Lkry-SF01&hsimp=yhs-SF01&hspart=Lkry&p=If+your+wife+has+borderline+personality+disorder+-+run+for+your+life#id=27&vid=b35cc166434cdc5a7e529b4f16863911&action=view

Sri
Guest
Sri
Offline

Absolutely spot on.

Sri
Guest
Sri
Offline

There’s a book called “Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man” in which the natural tendency for women to blame the world (i.e. men) for her problems (as though an extension of the sexual principle) is actually something we would associate with of mild BPD. A mild version of this was covered in John Gray’s book where he talks about women behaving like waves. It doesn’t seem like you can have a woman without this. An autstic, Asperger’s or very ruthless man is an example of an extreme male mind gone too far, while BPD is an example of an… Read more »

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

I just read justactsane’s previous comments again. “BPDs have feelings they don’t know how to regulate. …..love too intensely……are too loyal…….!

Wow! I guess that’s what my Psychiatrist diagnosed BPD ex was thinking when she put our children in day care every day, lying about being at working at the hospital, so that she could partake in repeated afternoon adultery. She was so intense, she did it for years.

What empathy and caring!

There are real monsters in the world and many are BPDs!

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

BPDs are programed to be the ultimate losers. As they age, they become less able to deceive and manipulate targets, eventually running out of victims. As younger monsters,abusing so many trusting people, they cannot foresee that they will generally live out their senior years shunned and alone. What goes around comes around!

Oncebitten
Guest
Oncebitten
Offline

Dunno, Paul does a great job here explaining the reality of BPD

https://www.avoiceformen.com/women/borderline-personality-disorder-sick-or-just-crazy-asshole/

SJF
Guest
SJF
Offline

I’ve always been attracted to the speech of the comedian Whitney Cummings. She had a recent writing piece in the New York Times. I think she is a high testosterone woman. Can’t tell exactly from her digit ratio. She speaks in female masculine talk. Full quote here. If you get cockblocked by the NYT paywall, you can always erase the NYT’s cookies in your browser. This made me think of the latest back an forth with Scribbler (I love your AMOGing Scribbler. Please do not stop. It’s fun. And it serves you best.): https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/30/movies/whitney-cummings-the-first-time-i-hung-out-with-wolves.html Excerpt from The First Time I… Read more »

Markos Beers
Guest
Markos Beers
Offline

SJF, that article is great, actually. The quotes are right on

trackback

[…] this guy before. I’m not happy to admit that, but in my 20s, during the time I was with the BPD girl she made a habit of airing out her insane jealousy, insecurities and general relationship […]

trackback

[…] been this guy before. I’m not happy to admit that, but in my 20s, during the time I was with the BPD girl she made a habit of airing out her insane jealousy, insecurities and general relationship […]

Sri
Guest
Sri
Offline

I’ve seen it myself up face. It’s a nuclear meltdown — BPD people have no limiters on their emotional intensity and they’re more dangerous than religious extremists. It’s the ‘extreme female brain’.

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

To everyone struggling with the decision of whether or not to divorce a cheating BPD spouse, realize, that every person whom they cheated with, and every time they cheated, the BPD considered that person was more important than you. You have only secondary value, as a servant, to a cheating BPD. You will remember forever what a good decision divorcing a BPD is and was.

weminuche45
Guest
weminuche45
Offline

Can you resist? You better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz7IGr3hWog “Self Esteem” – by The Offspring I wrote her off for the tenth time today And practiced all the things I would say But she came over, I lost my nerve I took her back and made her dessert Now I know I’m being used That’s okay, man, ’cause I like the abuse I know she’s playing with me That’s okay ’cause I got no self-esteem We make plans to go out at night I wait ’til 2 then I turn out the light This rejection’s got me so low If she keeps it… Read more »

trackback

[…] If you watched the Red Man Group last Saturday I explained why I don’t think she was a BPD case (borderline personality disorder), but after reading this thread I’m beginning to change my […]

Vale
Guest
Vale
Offline

Rollo,

I’m a man and my therapist(old man with a long career and isn’t pushing blue pill nonsense at all, so I don’t doubt him) believes that I have BPD, among other things. Do you have any experience with seeing this illness in men? Is there any guidance you can offer to men looking to overcome borderline?

SJF
Guest
SJF
Offline

You might find that if you are a male with BPD, you might find it difficult to follow along with The Red Pill. Namely because the Red Pill is concerned with a praxeology of how things work, as in the reality of Hypergamy in male female interactions. And since a hallmark of BPD is that “A distorted view and understanding of reality is one of the major issues with BPD”, that, again might be difficult for you. In answering a Quora question, one commenter volunteered this: https://www.quora.com/How-can-you-tell-the-difference-between-a-borderline-and-a-psychopath/answer/Michael-Gerakios As far as what BPD is, I had created a brief summary which… Read more »

trackback

[…] Rollo’s BPD post: https://therationalmale.com/2012/01/20/borderline-personality-disorder/ Read Carl’s “How Many Bitches Be Crazy?”: […]

Beach Wolf
Guest
Beach Wolf
Offline

To weed out toxic people, all one has to do is look at the maturity level of that person’s personality. Rarely does chronological age matches a person’s psychological age. A person can be 30 years old, but have the psychological age of a 16 year old, or worse, a 5 year old due to arrested development caused by a childhood trauma or by a genetic disposition. White Knights tend to have a healing aura that attracts damage people. Using victimhood to draw you in (does she complain being treated badly by her ex, not owning any part?) So it’s necessary… Read more »

Sri
Guest
Sri
Offline

BPD is the extreme female mind as autism is the extreme male one. In Taoism, masculinity leans toward earth and is like the sun and Femininity leans towards the water and is like the moon. The Ying Yang circle has two dots in each half of the opposite color. The idea is that if the yang loses that yin dot, the masculine will become far too heartless, an inhuman machine. And if the feminine loses that masculine dot, it will fluctuate without any limit or grounding into insanity. Autism is the first case. BPD is the second. All women have… Read more »

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

To all who are unfortunate to have been mistreated by a BPD – best advice from a psychiatrist – realize that the BPD’s actions had nothing to do with you! Now that you know that, you can be freed from feelings of responsibility. You had a horrible experience, but have learned and are now free to release the BPD to find their way – possibly to a better place also. You can go on with your life, armed with new knowledge. The world is a huge place, filled with many, many wonderful people and experiences. Go and find them!

John Danley
Guest
trackback

[…] can remember the same anxiety after I’d mercifully split from my BPD girlfriend. Even years after it was all over I’d still have nightmarish dreams about her. What the hell […]

Heywood
Guest
Heywood
Offline

Holy acronyms batman !

Please define them where they are first used

Hugh
Guest
Hugh
Offline

I haven’t been here in a long while but was recently reminded of something I did in an attempt to guarantee no contact and the absolute end of the relationship with my BPD ex. She had moved out, taking what was supposed to be everything she wanted with her. Unfortunately, things were left that I didn’t want and that couple with still having my key to her motor vehicle, allowed me to make a gesture that I hoped would seem like final abandonment to a BPD. I collected the remainder of her stuff, including photos of her, into 2 big… Read more »

%d bloggers like this: