Truth to Power

Denying the utility of Power, vilifying it’s usages, is in itself a a means of using Power.

Real change works from the inside out. If you don’t change your mind about yourself you wont change anything else. Women can change their hair color, their makeup, clothes, breast size, and any number of cosmetic alteration on a whim or as they can afford them, but the constant discontent, the constant inadequecies they complain of are rooted in their self-perceptions, not how others perceive them.

This is an outside-in mentality; hoping the external will change the internal, and it’s just this mentality that lesser men apply to themselves – the only difference being the application. The AFC (for lack of a better term) has the same problem as the vain woman (OK, really any woman) – a lack of true self-understanding of their own problem. It’s very difficult to do self-analysis and self-criticism, particularly when it comes to questioning our own beliefs and the reasons our personalities are what they are. It’s akin to telling someone they’re not living their lives ‘correctly’ or that they’re raising their children ‘wrong’; only it’s more difficult because we’re doing the telling about ourselves to ourselves. Self-estimation (not self-esteem) NEVER happens spontaneously, there always has to be some crisis to prompt it. Anxiety, trauma and crisis are necessary catalysts to stimulate self-consciousness. A breakup, a death, a betrayal; tragically, it’s at these points in our lives that we do our best introspection, we have our ‘moments of clarity’ and yes, discover what abysmal, simpering chumps we’ve allowed ourselves to be molded into.


The first step to really unplugging from our preconditioning (i.e the feminine Matrix) is recognizing that this conditioning has led to the beliefs we think are integral to our personalities. The psychological term for this is called ‘ego-investment’. When a person internalizes a mental schema so thoroughly, and has become conditioned to it for so long, it becomes an integral part of their personality. So to attack the belief is to, literally, attack the person. This is why we see such a violent reaction to people’s political, religious, inter-social/inter-sexual, inter-gender, etc. expressions of belief – they perceive it as a personal attack, even when presented with irrefutable, empirical evidence that challenges the veracity of those beliefs.

One common frustration that Game-aware Men express is how dificult it is to open an AFCs eyes as to why he’s not hooking up, why he’s not getting dates (or 2nd dates if he is), why he’s constantly getting LJBF rejections, etc., and all the flaws in what is really ego-investment internalizations. As I’m fond of saying, it’s dirty work unplugging chumps from the Matrix, and this is made all the more difficult when a person is in a catagorical state of denial.

People resort to denial when recognizing that the truth would destroy something they hold dear. In the case of a cheating partner, denial lets you avoid acknowledging evidence of your own humiliation. Short of catching a spouse in bed with your best friend, evidence of infidelity is usually ambiguous. It’s motivated skepticism. You’re more skeptical of things you don’t want to believe and demand a higher level of proof. Denial is unconscious, or it wouldn’t work: if you know you’re closing your eyes to the truth, some part of you knows what the truth is and denial can’t perform its protective function.

One thing we all struggle to protect is a positive self-image. The more important the aspect of your self-image that’s challenged by the truth, the more likely you are to go into denial. If you have a strong sense of self-worth and competence, your self-image can take hits but remain largely intact; if you’re beset by self-doubt (a hallmark of self-righteous AFC thinking), however, any acknowledgment of failure can be devastating and any admission of error painful to the point of being unthinkable. Self-justification and denial arise from the dissonance between believing you’re competent, and making a mistake, which clashes with that image. Solution: deny the mistake. Attribute it to an outside element (women won’t play by “the rules”) rather than resort to introspection (maybe I’m wrong about “the rules”?).

Therefore we see AFCs tenaciously cling to a moralistic sense of purpose in their methods which is only reinforced by popular culture in our media, our music, eHarmony, our religion, etc.

 Articles of Power

The term Power has a lot of  misapplied connotations to it. When we think of Powerful people, we think of influence, wealth, prestige, status and the ability to have others do our bidding – all of these are not Power. And as much as we’d like to convince ourselves that women are attracted to this Power, this is false. Because what I’ve described as aspects of Power here are really manifestations of Power. Here’s a cosmic secret revealed for you:

Real Power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances. Real Power is the degree to which we control the directions of our lives.

When we allow our thinking, our personality disorders and our mental schemas, combined with their accompanying behaviors, to determine the course of our decisions, we relenquish real Power. The man who succumbs, by force or by will, to the responsibilities, liabilities and accountabilities that are required of him by society, marriage, committment, family, fatherhood, career choice, etc. leaves him very little influence over the course of his own life.

The painter Paul Gaugin is one of history’s most powerful men. At middle age Paul was a “successful” banker, with a wife and children and by all appearances, a man of great merit and considerable wealth. Then one day Paul decided he’d had enough and wanted to paint. He left his wife, children and his money, and decided he would become a painter. He cast off his former life to live the life he chose, he had the power to assume control of it. Eventually he died in Tahiti, but not after having one of the most interesting of lives and becoming a world renowned painter. You may think, what a horrible man he was to abandon his responsibilities to selfishly pursue his own desires, but the fact remains that he had the Power within himself to do so that most men would shudder to even consider. So entrapped are we in our self-expectation and self-imposed limitations that we fail to see that we have always had the keys to our own prisons – we’re just scared shitless to use them.

This Power is the root of that all important ‘confidence’ we toss out every time we tell a 19 y.o. chump what women really want so he can get laid. It’s this ability to make our own decisions, right or wrong, and to confidently own them that separate us from “other guys.” It’s this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to assert ourselves and to be unafraid to make ourselves the PRIZE, and it’s just this Power that women want to be associated with.

Lack of this Power is exactly what makes master PUAs revert to some of the most pathetic AFCs once they become involved in an LTR. They sell women on this idealization and the perception that they possess this Power only to discover the AFC insecurities these behaviors were meant to cover up once they’ve bought the act. This isn’t to devalue PUA skills as effective behavior sets, rather it’s meant to illustrate the behaviors that should be manifest as a result of effecting a real personal change. It should be that adopting a positive-masculine mental schema prompts these PUA skills as a result. Instead we have the cart before the horse in a mad rush to get that all important pussy we’ve been deprived of for so long, by masking our deficit in real Power and understanding with rote memorized PUA techniques hoping that by practicing them they’ll turn into “natural game” and we’ll mature enough to initiate a lasting personal change.


  1. Excellent post. Fake it til you make isn’t really a valid concept. Self-improvement is the way to go.

  2. “Real Power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances.”

    “This Power is the root of that all important ‘confidence’”

    “It’s this ability to make our own decisions, right or wrong, and to confidently own them”

    “to assert ourselves”

    “and to be unafraid”


    Good stuff.

  3. Agree on some level, but whenever people say this I think to the example of babies learning to crawl, then waddle, then walk, then run, then sprint, etc. You couldn’t just grab a baby and say “self-improve” yourself to being able to sprint tomorrow. I’m not sure the pure AFC chump could even process this sort of thing above as absolutely phenonemal as it is. I think you HAVE TO start with some basic “behavior set” type stuff, see the outcome, and then you can move on to reflecting and processing on some of the deeper stuff like adopting totally different mental schemas.

  4. “When we think of Powerful people, we think of influence, wealth, prestige, status and the ability to have others do our bidding – all of these are not Power.”

    “Real Power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances.”

    Actually I do not see so much difference. I think if there is a difference it is quite abstract.

  5. Great write up on power and personal change. I’d be interested in hearing a more practical discussion on this. That is, exactly how does one go from a position or pyschological frame of no power, to one of confidence and power? As the poster above mentioned, it’s very easy just to tell someone to be more aggressive or confident etc.. but, it’s a whole other thing to get them to do it. What are the mechanics of the change? Is there a blue print for initiating these types of personality changes? Stepwise, where would one begin? And what type of progressions would be necessary to keep that person on track and not get dissuaded?

    I’ve read a lot of PUA self improvement blogs on the web. You are far and away the most articulate I’ve come across. I hope you keep at it – you’re putting out a lot of good stuff here.

  6. “influence, wealth, prestige, status” can be the inherited, can be the result of hard work, can be the result of false advertising, etc.

    Think of the corporate world, anything institutional, candy producer-made pop stars, rich families, etc. Having power and influence on others doesnt mean you´re doing things your way nor that you own your circumstances. A lot of the people in these positions are just slaved to someone or something else, money, owners, fans, system, ego structures, etc.

    No internal freedom, no “power” to own your circumstances. Without owning your circumstances, it really doesnt matter how much power / influence you have over others.

  7. In “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill there is some suggestions. For example, Have a burning desire to achieve One Major Definite Purpose (Know specifically what you want to do in your life, What do you want most in your life, describe exactly what you want : what specifically is your most important goal), what is your plan, what is everything you have to do to achieve this goal, start immediately to do these actions and do actions every day towards your goal, find partners to work with towards this goal, get specialized knowledge, keep doing actions until you achieve your goal. The “Self-Confidence Formula” says confidence is from doing actions. The last page says, “The Master Key is intangible, but it is powerful. It is the creating in YOUR own mind, a burning DESIRE for a definite form of riches (whatever is YOUR most important goal). There is a reward of stupendous proportions if YOU put the Key to use. It is the satisfaction that comes to all who conquer self and force Life to pay whatever is asked (achieving YOUR goals). The reward is worthy of YOUR effort. Will YOU start (Doing ACTIONS towards YOUR goal)?”
    Therefore, the GOALS that YOU desire to achieve in YOUR own life give you direction and your DESIRE (thoughts and emotions from within yourself for this goal) gives you the energy/POWER to make YOUR goals a reality.

  8. Post reminded me of this quote of Dostovesky I always come back to:

    “One’s own free, untrammeled desires, one’s own whim… All of this is precisely that which fits no classification, and which is constantly knocking all systems and theories to hell. And where did our sages get the idea that a man must have normal, virtuous desires? What man needs is only his own independent wishing, whatever that independence may cost and wherever it may lead.”

  9. I stay my point. They are sophisms.

    First, power is not a light bulb, or on or off. There is not contradiction on having power on someone and no power on someone else.

    Second, power has not moral connotation. Women, just to stay in topic, look if you have money, not how you earned it (and if you stole them, they are excited much more).

    So please spare us about the rich being a slave of money and the famous being a slave of fans. That’s the fox and grapes fable, a bit old. No one said power comes without effort ot without choices.

    Following your thinking, even that painter had no control over circumstances because he had to chase the external elements of inspiration.

  10. Traveller, so whats your point? the point here was discerning between social power and personal power. But this:

    “First, power is not a light bulb, or on or off.”

    True and irrelevant.

    “There is not contradiction on having power on someone and no power on someone else.”

    True and irrelevant.

    “power has not moral connotation.”

    True and irrelevant.

    “Women, just to stay in topic, look if you have money, not how you earned it (and if you stole them, they are excited much more).”

    True and irrelevant.

    “No one said power comes without effort ot without choices.”

    True and irrelevant.

    “even that painter had no control over circumstances because he had to chase the external elements of inspiration.”

    True and irrelevant.

    So, do you know the difference between being a victim of the circumstances, and owning your circumstances?

    Do you know a rich man can also be pussy whipped and cheated on?

    Or, whats your point?

  11. My point is your first reply to my message has no point.

    “Having power and influence on others doesnt mean you´re doing things your way nor that you own your circumstances”

    Some things yes, some others not. “power and influence on others” ARE circumstances, so this fits perfectly in Rollo’s definition of power.

    His post often have not to be taken literally.

  12. This is a really deep post. Mastering Game isn’t really the endgame—or at least it shouldn’t be. Unplugging yourself from culturally ingrained gynocentrism is crucial to really freeing your mind and walking the path to true personal power. Hopefully this message will seep more into the manosphere bloodstream.

    I’ve made a related point in the manosphere before at Roissy’s:

    “If you run Game for 20 years, bang hundreds of 9s & 10s the whole way through, establishing a harem of goddesses along the way—but don’t thoroughly cleanse yourself of the feminist social engineering that has crippled your mind since you were a gleam in your father’s eye, then your development is incomplete, you are still vulnerable, and you are still a slave to the system.”

    I only really began to unplug from the matrix once I sat down and examined how so many of my most deeply inculcated reactions and behaviors are really coming from an inner child responding to a world that is no long operative. That my parents were, in a lot of ways, responsible for this and that while these traits may have been necessary for survival in my oppressive, overbearing household and really dangerous neighborhood, that they are completely maladaptive for the life I lead today and cannot help me achieve my goal of becoming the man I want to be. Once I began to internalize, at a core level, a sense of my own agency and that my reality was now different, I was able to begin the slow and painstaking process of de-programming—not just from fealty to the gynocentric imperative, but to other enforced obligations, modes of thought, fears and insecurities that I had held onto. There is still some ways to go, but I can honestly say that I have acquired a measure of true Inner Game.

    Anyways, just finding your blog—definitely on my short list moving forward.

  13. Great post…””Anxiety, trauma and crisis are necessary catalysts to stimulate self-consciousness. A breakup, a death, a betrayal; tragically, it’s at these points in our lives that we do our best introspection, we have our ‘moments of clarity’ and yes, discover what abysmal, simpering chumps we’ve allowed ourselves to be molded into.””

    Just broke up with the gf. She was driving me crazy…endless shit tests, jealousy, controlling,manipulative.

    Game was slipping…for all the agree and amplify..she was out-doing me…

    So finally, I just unplugged. There was a catalyst. She embarrassed me in front of some guests by making a scene and threatening not to dj a party I was putting on. That was it….

    After I broke up with her…now she’s in denial…keeps thinking this is just some “phase”…that I’ll come to my senses and see why we are so right together.

    ME: We’re broken up…get used to that…

    The more I say this the more determined it makes her.

    This is clearly evidence of two things: 1) to regain any hand you have to walk away and 2) you can’t be afraid to walk away.

    Change is hard. On the positive side….two other girls, both friends have been giving me major IOI’s….and with the holidays coming up, I’ve got nothing but options.

    A few weeks ago…I was beta backsliding, and into AFC guilt mode.

  14. Chris Rock said something like, “Men think what do I have to DO to get what I want? Women think who do I have to GET to get what I want?”

    Therefore, in general men have an “Internal Locus of Control” and women/AFCs have an “External Locus of Control.” Men have Power from within. Women try to get Power from others. Such as, an AFC asking a woman “So what would you like to do now?” and this makes a woman see him as a weak wuss thus it turns her off, instead of using Power from within to strongly lead and make the decision “This is what we are going to do now” and she can feel and be attracted to his inner masculine Power. On a larger level a man says this is what I want to do in my own life and then he uses his internal masculine Power to do these things.

  15. Meta evaluation: consciousness evaluating the efficacy of its own operations; an integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect; power derived from the feeling of an unlimited ceiling and pride as a response to the achievement of self-esteem, since self-esteem is value to be earned and kept.
    John Galt and Howard Roark fit the image. In large part Rand was successful because she used literature as the mechanism to sway the heart first and the mind later. Nathaniel Branden has been at the forefront that you’ve got the understanding of self-esteem all wrong…it’s actually a fucking heroic achievement on a magnitude that equals an accent to K2 because you will have to come face to face with your own evolutionary frame. That is why men will own the domain of love…its just too hard for a women to become that powerful at this stage in human history.

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  18. Alright, Rollo, or any of you other guys that are well versed in this mindset, is there another avenue to take for a guy like me that’s been a classic beta my whole life and has woken up finally after a failed marriage at 45 years of age? These concepts seem to really apply to guys in their 20’s and early 30’s. However, I’m committed to improving myself after realizing how much power I really gave up during my marriage. That being said, I love my children, and will do everything in my power to create positive manly influences on them. I haven’t read all of this blog, but I am taking each dose of this reality in and letting it sink in, as I have been brainwashed for quite some time by societal standards and the feministic movement that is really destroying the fabric of our country.

  19. Second what Yohami recommended. When you get back into the dating game, fully internalize that it is OK to just have fun and no woman is owed your commitment or exclusivity.

  20. Another brilliant essay Rollo.

    Having had my moment of self evaluation 2 years ago, but not the means to change my circumstance. We’re all dependent on something for our existence.

    I would argue the man who took on the responsibility of husband, father, slave. Did so willing, under the false assumption his efforts would be appreciated.
    Our investment in a wife, mother, overlord is so great and the consequences of leaving, so daunting we stay. A bit like the homing pigeon who is set free, but, willingly, returns to a life in a cage.

    Real freedom is dependent on so many factors. The first of which (as you rightly point out) is the ability to determine your own course.

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