Big Fish

It’s likely readers here have been following my twitter threads about the Anthony Bourdain suicide and I’ve been discussing the particulars about his death on Pat Campbell’s show and the Red Man Group for almost 2 weeks now. As readers know I’ve personally dealt with two suicides under circumstances  like this and I’ve picked apart dozens more over the years I’ve been writing. I’ve got a pretty good idea why old Beta guys off themselves.

But the Beta part is only one aspect of the story. Anthony being a ‘paper alpha’ is certainly an aspect too, but the more I dig into the background of the “love of his life”, Asia Argento, the more the puzzle pieces fit together. This bitch was a piece of work. If you watched the Red Man Group last Saturday I explained why I don’t think she was a BPD case (borderline personality disorder), but after reading this thread I’m beginning to change my mind:

So, she’s a witch. A literal witch, and all of her ‘sisterhood’ are witches are too. You can digest that however you feel is necessary, but this is a 42 year old woman who practices literal witchcraft – which is an extension of feminism with a pagan spiritual  woo woo magical thinking whipped into the mix. I really need to do a more expansive post on Chick Crack soon.

But, even this isn’t what I want to confront you with. What I want to raise your awareness to is something I’ve never really had an occasion to explore until now; Anthony Bourdain was a very big fish.

Anthony Bourdain (AB) was a long term, life-long, Beta. He was every bit of what I call a ‘terminal Beta‘. Yes, he had the Bad Boy thing working for him and if you want to get a more complete idea about his past Black Label Logic has a great piece on his blog you really ought to read. But, with respect to Bourdain’s understanding of intersexual dynamics he was very much a Beta.

People immediately gave me shit for naming him such. That was expected. He’s Anthony-fucking-Bourdain and I’m just some “half-assed self-published Red Pill writer, what the fuck do I know, right?” Well, I knew enough to recognize the profile of a Contextual Alpha who’d been plugged into his Blue Pill conditioning for 61 years and the huge mark he put on himself by being so publicly co-dependent on the idea of the soul mate myth. Anthony had been through 2 wives. The most recent one cheated on him with her MMA fighter / personal trainer he no doubt was paying to “train” his soon-to-be ex wife. I have no doubt AB would’ve attempted to lock down Asia Argento because this is what overly possessive, perpetually mate guarding Beta men do when a woman approaches his “dream girl” ideal. His social media was rife with declarations about how happy he was to have finally met his ‘kindred spirit’ soul mate (and self-avowed Wiccan) Asia Argento. AB sincerely believed his ship had come in. The woman who would finally complete him (this time) was at last in his life.

In every Instagram image, every Tweet, AB was gushing about how he’d never been happier as he cuddled with Asia like a boy who loves his mother. Intermixed with these images were many others with him in classic possessive-Beta encroaching posture – interposing arms like an affectionate headlock, while she looked away wistfully, or directly at the camera with the look of a woman who knows the Beta she’s with is deadweight to her Hypergamy.

Big Fish and the Cookie Lady

There is a larger dynamic at play in all this, one I probably could add an addendum to in my second book, Preventive Medicine. An aging Beta male, and particularly one with a notable amount of money, success, fame or status is a big fish for a necessitous woman. A woman who’s long practiced in using her sexual agency to its best advantage with men knows a prime target in an older man who’s never unplugged himself from his Blue Pill conditioning. Bourdain was one such big fish, and his Blue Pill conditioning, his eager white knighting and immediate deference to the feminine, his soul mate idealism would’ve been instantly recognizable to a 42 year old woman long accustomed to being the center of orbit for many a prior Beta.

I don’t want to call it an epidemic, but there is a set of women who look for aging men with resources to befriend and pretend they have a genuine interest in. Men with even moderate means and a Blue Pill conditioned idealism that ‘love springs eternal’ are prime targets for women who can read and assess that man’s state from years of practice. A woman who shows interest in a man who’s been starved for affection, sex and a real connection with a woman (married or not) will seem like more than an oasis in the desert. She’ll appeal to his romantic, idealistic Beta soul; a last chance at ‘true happiness’, a true miracle, as he enters his old age.

My own father was one such target for a woman we called the ‘cookie lady’.

My dad passed away from complications of Alzheimer’s/dementia before he was 72, but before his dementia had really become apparent the ‘cookie lady’ had already made a mark of my dad. My father was also what I’ve called a terminal Beta. He never unplugged to his dying day and lived a life based on the old set of books, being a good provider, dutiful, responsible and he was perpetually disappointed by the women in his life never reciprocating with their intimacy and appreciation the ‘rules’ clearly stated should happen. They never loved him in the way he thought women ought to be capable of loving him. Nevertheless, dad always clung to the (noble?) belief that if he saved his pennies and was of the highest service to women that eventually, one day, his efforts and quality would be appreciated by the right woman. He was a good example of the Savior Schema.

The ‘cookie lady’ understood all of this – all of dad’s Blue Pill conditioning, the way he thought the world and women should work, the old social contract investments, his idealism about women, everything – all of it in less than a week. She really wasn’t all that different from my step-mother in that respect, but at this late in the game, at her age, and noticing the subtle hints of cognitive degeneration in dad, the stakes were much higher for her long term security. I should also add that I would include my own mother in this schema; she’s a lovable loon, but she knew a good opportunity for security back in the 60s, so it may be my father had a knack for attracting this type of woman due to his Blue Pill idealism.

The reason we called this woman the ‘cookie lady’ was because she always brought my dad fresh baked cookies when she was trying to play into his Blue Pill end-of-life last ditch hope for happiness. We never knew her real name and if it hadn’t been for my dad getting very upset with us for preventing him from rewriting the ‘cookie lady’ into his will and power of attorney within the first month of her ‘dropping by’ we may very well have been suckered into her scam too.

Respect Your Elders

It was this incident that opened up a whole new understanding of the Red Pill and intersexual dynamics for me. I think it may be important going forward in Red Pill awareness to consider how intersexual dynamics and the Feminine Imperative affect generations of older men. My brother and I had to really watch out for similar scams to take advantage of my dad’s condition and his Blue Pill mindset that was making him a target. It wasn’t until this incident that I did a bit of research to find out how common this scam really is. In a sense it’s one more angle on the ‘stripper effect’ for younger, desperate, men for whom the feigned attention of the stripper, the kino, the deferent concern, is more seductive than her sexuality. It feeds a deeper emptiness. In a young man, in an Incel, just the possibility for that connection can become an obsession. For an older man, who’s been starved of the same (in or out of marriage) for the better part of his life, it seems like a storybook ending all his Blue Pill conditioning told him was possible. And what would a man like that give for on last shot at that idealistic ‘love’?

When Will We Face the Facts about Suicide in Older Men?

The instance of elderly men’s suicide is something not too many people want to talk about. Much of what I’ve read about it throws out a lot of feminist boilerplate about how old masculine ideals are to blame, but as expected, it uses this ‘toxic’ masculinity narrative to cover the uglier truths. Most men are Betas. Most men spend their lives wondering why all the Blue Pill hopes they sincerely believe are possible just don’t happen for them. They blame themselves, or they blame others, but they never really unplug because their existence was centered on the certainty that Blue Pill dreams come true if they can just work on the relationship harder or they made more money or if they’d only met a more perfect ‘soul mate’ in the story that is their life.

Anthony Bourdain fit this profile to the letter. And while it may not have been Asia Argento’s conscious, forethought purpose to gravy-train him, his Blue Pill, Beta, perspective had to have been apparent to her. On some level of consciousness she knew he had the capacity for self-harm as an extension of this. It’s exactly why she pleaded to the paparazzi who photographed her on the streets of Rome with her far more Alpha lover Hugo Clement, not to publish the photos. For all the guilty foreshadowing from Rose McGowan trying to convince the public who adored Bourdain about their “relationship without borders”, the truth is deathly apparent that Bourdain’s idealism believed otherwise.

Asia Argento didn’t kill Anthony Bourdain, but in what she represented to his Blue Pill mind, her actions were the catalyst that prompted his suicide. Yes, he was depressed. Yes, maybe he was on Chantix (we’ll never know now that his body was cremated unceremoniously, without a toxicology screening and against his family’s wishes). Yes, he was a hard drinker, drug addict and had suicidal thoughts before (after his 2nd divorce), but he killed himself 3 days after the pictures of his “soul mate” and Hugo Clement were published.

I think the bigger lesson here is a wake up call for older men who are still plugged into the Blue Pill Matrix as well as those who’ve become Red Pill aware much later in life. I’m of the opinion that it’s never too late to unplug and live a Red Pill aware life, but I will concede it’s a lot to lay on a guy who’s lived most of his life plugged in. Looking back on decision after decision influenced by a Blue Pill conditioning, influenced by a set of rules you believed others were playing by and then seeing the results of those decisions and wreckage that followed. It’s one thing to be “awakened while married” when you’re in your early 40s, but it’s quite another to realize Red Pill truths when you’re 70 and maybe have another good 10 years to live if you took care of yourself. That’s a rough realization.

In Positive Masculinity I stressed the importance of Red Pill aware men being mentors for boys and younger men and helping to raise them out of the influences of the Feminine Imperative’s Village, but I think it’s going to be important to mentor and protect the interests of older men as they age in a Blue Pill mindset and become Red Pill aware.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

Ajax – your comment – “Alpha has everything to do with personal self-regard”

Alight. But there are varieties of such – yes? There is the psycho type, there is the narcissistic type, there is the feminine type, there is the masculine type, and of that last subset there is the alpha type – yes? Be my guest … take a stab at defining alpha, in terms of the type of personal self-regard it must have.

George C
George C
3 years ago
Reply to  Wildering Man

“Alpha has everything to do with personal self-regard” I can’t stop laughing…try again!

anon
anon
3 years ago

“it’s not your job as a woman to know how a man who operates this way, alpha-like, came to be that way …. your job as a woman is to SELECT True. It’s not my job, I just observe what seems to work, based on results. I have observed a lot of real life examples of men people look to when shtf. Whenever I’ve seen them succeed in one aspect of life but fail at another, it is typically because one aspect of their lives is run completely differently than the other (folks in the sphere might say they are… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“It’s also not my job to teach young men on how to be men (not even my own). I hate it when my boys do any risky activity, and they are manly boys so they do a great deal of that. It would benefit me if they just stayed mommy’s boys but my spouse reminds me that a little part of me would die if they really did that. And the frontal lobe part of my brain agrees.” I can why you think you did so well selection-wise. Seems to me your fella gets this incorporative perspective thing. He sees… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

““Alpha has everything to do with personal self-regard” I can’t stop laughing…try again!”

George – the thing is …… life is not possible without scripts around self-preservation, first and foremost. All of life is imbued with this first principle (or at least a principle among the first principles – as we don’t know about the full expression of the hallmarks of ‘life’ as of yet). That even goes for a singular bacterium (by way of membrane maintenance, for instance, which amazingly must entail some form of self-awareness, or self-regard, in the sense of differentiation of ‘self’ from ‘other’).

theasdgamer
3 years ago

Most women only care about money and status, right?

Yeah, that’s why AA was banging her personal trainer. Trainers have top money and status out the wazoo, amirite?

marelius
3 years ago

@be-wildered man “I am expecting to bring at least some along to a consensus here (a conscious non-coerced consensus)”

Congratulations, you achieved that many, many comments ago. With each new comment, you only increase the membership of said “non-coerced consensus”.

Now, if you could just figure out what that consensus was, we wouldn’t have to refer to you as be-wildered!

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

Hey mare (that be funny too – but I’m just play’n – hope you don’t mind too much) – get the syntax straight at least. Your prefix actually makes it ‘Be-Wildering Man’ – right? Hope you get that (like – what that joke implies, at least to my mind – that be very funny indeed – and I ‘m not laughing at you or others here per se, … so much as the alternative – instead it’s more like ‘part and parcel of the human condition’, of course including my own – so it’s wickedly funny in that way –… Read more »

marelius
3 years ago

@be-wildered man – My syntax is perfect. Your understanding is not, but I’ll grant you that it is very funny.

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“Your understanding is not, but I’ll grant you that it is very funny.” OK – well if this is a laughing contest (which I also see as a very funny image – sorta like Paul Klee’s artwork entitled “Two Gentlemen Bowing to One Another, Each Supposing the Other to Be in a Higher Position (Invention 6) “, except the opposite in every way) … then ….. what do you got to lose – weigh in on the current challenge then – define alpha in terms more concise than the following: “alpha = the incorporative perspective borne of an attitude of… Read more »

anon
anon
3 years ago

“which is understandable from anon’s perspective, because she is going by the social tells around dominance hierarchies, which is the forte that is hers by way of her birthright, as selector “

What social tell was I “going by”?
Just curious.

theasdgamer
3 years ago

Anyway – I notice that there is some discussion around ‘what alpha is’ on the most recent thread. Still the same old same old – ‘well it’s sorta like this, and sorta like that, and definitely not this other thing, until it is, in certain circumstances’ …. type of thing. Still not the hallmarks of a theory that has hit the mark yet. More like a word that has several different meanings, depending on context. For someone who plays with words a lot, it’s funny that you missed this. which is the forte that is hers by way of her… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

anon – you earlier had answered my query as to what alpha (concisely as possible) is to you, this way: alpha = “The person in the room that people most want to follow ….. especially when shtf” How does a woman make such a determination? It’s by the tells – right? The social tells, both bled out into the social environment by each individual man within the mixed group, with respect to subliminal opinions about himself, but as well, as to the tells with respect to each man’s subliminal opinion of each other man in the mixed group – yes?… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“More like a word that has several different meanings, depending on context. For someone who plays with words a lot, it’s funny that you missed this.” Perhaps you are starting to perceive my commenting persona more accurately anon. Except it’s is not really ‘playing’ because I am bringing alot of discipline and rigor to the discussion, particularly around definitions. Maybe you might keep testing that until you form a more accurate opinion – I dunno. Up to you. Anyway – the point being – ‘alpha’ should not have several different meanings (like I have been saying all along here). More… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

Sorry anon (and asd) – that last comment was for asd.

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@ Dr. Wordsmith

You don’t get to decide whether or not words have multiple meanings.

anon
anon
3 years ago

“How does a woman make such a determination? It’s by the tells – right? The social tells, both bled out into the social environment by each individual man within the mixed group, with respect to subliminal opinions about himself, but as well, as to the tells with respect to each man’s subliminal opinion of each other man in the mixed group – yes? “

Social tells? The short answer is, I’m not sure.
I made my “choice” without the aid of social tells.
I”m sure I was making a value assessment somehow.
I’ve always been a longterm value investor.

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@anon

After the gay episode, the bar was set pretty low. 😉

Thanks for the gratz.

anon
anon
3 years ago

😆 Gamer.
True, dat.

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“Women are more selective than most men, but that doesn’t mean that women alone do selecting. There is no selector role. There is some smaller subset of men who are also very selective. It’s almost like men are on a selective spectrum of some sort.” asd – the point I was making above in my comment to anon is that females are selectors of alpha. The larger point I have been making all along here is that doesn’t mean that women are the arbiters of alpha. Men largely work that out among themselves. So ….. my thesis includes the idea… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“Social tells? The short answer is, I’m not sure. I made my “choice” without the aid of social tells. I”m sure I was making a value assessment somehow. I’ve always been a longterm value investor.” So you know you made a value assessment, but not sure how. Mmmmmm. From where I stand, I’m not surprised. Women always say something like that. Something like “I just knew”, or “it just felt right”, etc. etc. Also from where I stand it still looks like a female status-sorting operation based on tells, in the way I described, nevertheless. anon – do you think… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

OK – the context of this statement of yours is around definitions of ‘alpha’. Does alpha have multiple meanings? If it’s a mindset it shouldn’t.

“Mindset” is likely some group of mental states that can vary in content. Artists, musicians, sports figures, MMA guys, junkies, pool boys, PUAs, and even some OMGs. You think you’ve got “mindset” figured out, but I’m not convinced. Maybe some examples….

asd – the point I was making above in my comment to anon is that females are selectors of alpha

Women have sex with betas all the time. How do women select alphas?

theasdgamer
3 years ago

Anon knows that whatever happened, her cortex was offline, lol. She lost the mental wrestling match and got thrown around and pinned. Kind of like a female squirrel who mates.

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“Women have sex with betas all the time. How do women select alphas?” Women compromise on their desires, all the time, as all people do. This fact in no way negates the reality of the alpha selection dynamic. asd – why are you even here, after all these years, commenting and reading here, if you indeed are openly considering what you are implying there in your statement …. your implication is that women probably don’t select for alpha. If you truly are sitting on the fence in that respect, after all these years – why are you even still reading… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“Mindset” is likely some group of mental states that can vary in content. Artists, musicians, sports figures, MMA guys, junkies, pool boys, PUAs, and even some OMGs. You think you’ve got “mindset” figured out, but I’m not convinced. Maybe some examples…” Your list of types of men – is that meant to be a list of potential types of alpha men? (I mean, if you are commenting to point, which is the usual expectation in exchanges, I would assume that’s what you meant – but with you, today especially – you never know – illogic-wise, you are all over the… Read more »

Wildering Man
Wildering Man
3 years ago

“Anon knows that whatever happened, her cortex was offline, lol. She lost the mental wrestling match and got thrown around and pinned. Kind of like a female squirrel who mates.”

I wouldn’t let anon (or any woman) off the hook so easily, asd. By the more rigorous definitions of bluepill and beta – care of Black Label Logic (with some help from me), worked out in this thread, that is a beta bluepill mistake.

anon
anon
3 years ago

“anon – do you think women are more or less being disingenuous when they commonly insinuate that it don’t work the way I described, and say instead it’s about feelz? But so what if it’s about feelz? Because – what is driving the feelz?” I’ve noted many times that I don’t really understand what you are saying (aka “describing”). So I can’t answer the question. I don’t think they are being disingenuous, I think they typically don’t know why they feel the way they do. All sorts of things go into a value assessment. There’s pattern recognition (the process I… Read more »

PocketSpock
PocketSpock
3 years ago

I appreciate the comments of some of the older men here and how they feel about where they are in their lives. I’m turning 50 in a few weeks and so I’ve been ruminating about what it means to me at this point in my life. I’m thankful that I discovered the Red Pill years ago and that I’ve been lucky to do a lot of unpacking of old beliefs that go with it. I look back at who I was in my 20s and 30s and I wish to God someone would have told me that what I was… Read more »

anon
anon
3 years ago

Fwiw, pattern recognition is a tricky business. The seemingly same behavior might be acceptable/funny/charismatic for one person and perceived as creepy/weird/disturbing when another person attempts to do the same thing. I’ve seen that a few times. Kind of like the joke that’s a hit when one person throws it, and all wrong when another does (such things are sometimes hard to quantify…it’s just “not quite right”….timing is off, or something).

anon
anon
3 years ago

I’m sure you’re right about the non-verbal communication, palmasailor…
Even microexpressions (most people aren’t aware they are sending) make a big impression…probably far more in some cases than what is spoken.

Started thinking about pattern recognition after reading a book a few years back (think it was ‘Blink’). It gave the example (among many examples) of a situation that seemed like intuition (a firefighter thought he had ESP due to a split decision that saved his and everyone else’s bacon, but upon further investigation there were a lot of indicators he just didn’t process them consciously).

theasdgamer
3 years ago

“Women have sex with betas all the time. How do women select alphas?” Women compromise on their desires, all the time, as all people do. This fact in no way negates the reality of the alpha selection dynamic. Why didn’t you just say that you couldn’t answer my question. if you indeed are openly considering what you are implying there in your statement …. your implication is that women probably don’t select for alpha. If you truly are sitting on the fence in that respect, after all these years – why are you even still reading Rollo then? You mindlessly… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

I think the statistic is something like 80-90% of communication is non verbal.

Much more true of women than of men.

Dan
Dan
3 years ago

According to Thomas Joiner’s interpersonal theory of suicide, it requires three preconditions: perceived burdensomeness, thwarted belongingness, and acquired capability.

Anthony Bourdain was a chef. He spent his career carving up animals with big knives. That right there is serious acquired capability.

This is also probably part of why veterans are at increased risk of suicide: they have been trained to kill.

Thanks for an interesting read.

jawnee
jawnee
3 years ago

I have encountered so many mentally ill American/westernized females….that it scares me to the bone… The joker does what he does because he can…Just like the privileged,entitled,spoiled rotten,narcissistic,overvalued westernized female.….who celebrate’s obesity while little kids in the world die of starvation… Who has destroyed America,aborting 60,000,000 babies with over 30 contraceptives available,including the morning after pill being available….who aborts little baby vagina’s out of their own huuuuuuuge vagina’s with or without heartbeats,while for equality men are denied the right to opt out of fatherhood. Our women initiaite 80% of the 50% of all marriages that end in divorce…The me too… Read more »

Boxcar
Boxcar
3 years ago

Bourdain was the sensitive artist type. When he would see the contradictions of the world, he would take them personally. One good example: on one episode of his show, he went scuba fishing in the South of France. He and his film crew saw their French guide shamelessly tossing frozen seafood off the boat, for them to “catch.” Tony responded by falling into a deep depression, and was blackout drunk for the next dinner scene. Needless to say, it was an extreme response to such an absurd scenario. Even most beta blue pill guys would have found the whole thing… Read more »

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