The Mechanics of Kino

It’s no secret that I think one of the best ways to practice Game is to understand the mechanics behind Game. It’s very important to remind ourselves why what were doing is (or should be) effective and what exactly that effect is to predict an outcome. Ironically I take the most amount of criticism for disassembling Game mechanics from both sides of the debate. Women naturally hate explanations of the crimson arts because in revealing the blueprints for how Game techniques and principles functionally operate, they acknowledge their Achilles heels and feel forced to scramble and misdirect or mischaracterize Game for fear of the sisterhood being wantonly manipulated by less than scrupulous men.

Male Game critics (i.e. manginas) have similar misgivings, but I also get a bit of flak from Game practitioners who’s only real concern is making the technique work without any care for functionality. Lastly, there are guys who think it’s really kind of remedial to review Game principles and prefer my theory over the “under the hood” disassemblies of Game.

I think stressing the importance of Game mechanics is necessary. I was actually taken aback a little by the responses I got from my Learning to Read post. “Stick to theory man, we know this shit already.” With all of the current debate about how Game is evolving and to what end I think it’s really necessary, occasionally, to explore the fundamentals more thoroughly. We assume (myself included) that anyone reading a manosphere / Game blog must be familiar with the techniques and concepts behind them, however I’m increasingly having to defend core principles of Game precisely because opponents lack even a basic understanding of the mechanics of a particular principle or technique. If you’re unfamiliar with the functionality of Neg Hits, why would you think a woman wouldn’t react to them with anything but offense and insult?

So, it’s with all this in mind that I will occasionally return to the basics and hopefully help further a more thorough understanding of why Game works. Try to remember that the freshly unplugged guy still in the discovery phase of his awakening doesn’t have the benefit of having read Mystery Method or even knowing what ever was.

The Mechanics of Kino (kinesthetics)

Human beings require touch and physical affection to bolster praise and self-affirmation.

Children need this in great amounts when in their infancy and I’d argue into their teenage years as well. Babies need contact with their mothers and all OB/GYN neonatal caregivers are instructed to pick up and cuddle newborns since this human contact is essential in triggering hormonal and immuno-chemical changes that benefit the survival of the child.

All mammals to some degree employ this physical connection to one another and so do we. A pat on the back, a hug from a parent, an embrace between lovers, or even sick or elderly people petting a dog or cat — goes a long way for stimulating not only the sympathetic nerve and immune systems, but also the psycho-biological feelings of well-being that come from the endorphins that accompany the stimulus. That’s the nuts and bolts of Kino. Your touch is a stimulus, but it’s how that stimulus is interpreted that makes or breaks how it’s employed.

Casual Kino

Casual kino is something we already do to a greater or lesser degree unconsciously. The act of petting a dog is Casual Kino. Once your subconscious (and sometimes conscious) has determined whether an animal is friendly, the natural unconscious impulse is to pet it. Why do we do this instead of just going on about our business?

The latent reason is because we want to gain its favor (some would say to ’tame’ it), but we also experience physical pleasure from that simple act of stroking a cat, petting a dog, etc. This same Casual Kino holds true for people as well. This type of Kino isn’t meant as intimate contact so much as subtle reassurance of acceptability by that person. In other words, to tame them.

There are also cultural and conditional rules that make Kino more or less acceptable. Dutch men and women for instance greet women with three kisses on alternating cheeks and in other cultures certain acceptability of subtle gestures of Kino are expected. Unfortunately modern westernized American culture is probably the most uptight in this regard. While contact between unrelated males is usually limited to a handshake or a pat on the back, the older an individual is the more acceptable it becomes to be more affectionate with them — as if there is an unconscious understanding in humans that the older an individual is the more affection that person needs to stimulate these health benefiting responses.

I’m sure you’ve encountered the ’touchy-feely’ kind of people? Try to remember what it was about them that made them remarkable. Did they make you more comfortable or less comfortable in their presence? In some instances I’m sure you could call Kino ’groping’, but this is when the line between subtle Kino and intimate Kino has been crossed. Likewise the touchy-feely person betrays a neediness for this contact, most certainly as a result of deprivation, thus conveying a subconscious message that the person hasn’t been found acceptable for touch for any number of reasons in the past.

Using Kino

The trick to effective Kino is to make the contact seem casual and subtle without crossing into betraying intent of intimacy seeking or to present the appearance of ’needing’ the contact.

For instance, we may consider a slight squeeze back from a woman whose hand you’ve just grasped as an indicator of interest (IOI), but this connotes something different than the woman who grasps your inner thigh while sitting down for drinks or dinner. The same holds true for men in the opposite role of delivering a message with touch, only it is much more exaggerated.

Bear in mind that women are far more adept at interpersonal communications than men are aware of. They covertly communicate with innuendo, subtle and carefully chosen words, visual and non-verbal communications to be sure (i.e. dirty looks) and, of course, touch. They will understand a male’s intent when he is unaware that he is even communicating it to her — and nothing belies this intent better than carelessly applied Kino.

Strategic Kino

Casual Kino is easy to understand, but Strategic Kino is an art. Recall that physical touch engenders bio-chemical changes in a person — this is the basis of Strategic Kino. In this Kino we establish a reward-reinforcer relationship with our target.

This principle is rooted in behavioral and child psychology — we reward children with praise and affection for a desired behavior, but remove it when an undesired behavior is performed. This is effective because of an actual physical need for this contact. Reinforce desired behavior – deincentivize (not punish) undesired behavior.

It should also be emphasized that this Kino is only ever effective after a dominance / affirmation seeking relationship is established. Using effective Neg Hits, demonstrating higher value (DHV) and making your target see you as the PRIZE is essential. Kino without a pretext of higher value only worsens your approach and you slip into the creepy zone. Strategic Kino is just one tool in a Man’s tool box and using Kino prior to setting yourself up as the objective for her will in all likelihood turn her off to you. You have to establish a perceived value for her prior to initiating any casual touching.

That said, the principle of Strategic Kino is to reward your target with touch for appropriate responses while in conversation. Your target should be isolated to ensure there is no external interference. This Kino is akin to shutting your target out in the initial stages of opening to a group by keeping your back to her and only recognizing her when she becomes insistent. Your touch becomes comforting to her once you’ve established a baseline for this sense of comfort.

Remember, there is a bio-chemical element to touch, so on a subtle level her body becomes accustomed to this. When it is removed (and you’ve made this touch valuable), she will covertly understand that this touch implies approval and acceptance, and the absence of it connotes a lack of affirmation.

As with most things Game, what you’re looking for is reciprocation of your effort on which you can then amplify to a next level, ultimately resulting in intimacy and/or sex. Game is a dance and a language – as a Man you need to lead and direct the intercourse, but it’s vital to see the signs of reciprocation and the willingness of a woman to dance with you. Returned kino is an excellent IOI (indicator of interest) and confirmation of a willing ‘dance’ partner.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

21 comments on “The Mechanics of Kino

  1. Rollo, Another Great Post. I have been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now and have to say you really have helped me. I was wondering if you would offer any kind of help or direction for me through email?

  2. An excellent explanation. You’ve articulated a tool and method that many of us know and understand from experience, but have a hard time explaining to others.

  3. A very useful post. Reminds us of the importance of Kino, and also that it’s not just something you randomly apply.

  4. “Lastly, there are guys who think it’s really kind of remedial to review Game principles and prefer my theory over the “under the hood” disassemblies of Game.”

    With anything that matters, it is sometimes worthwhile to go back to basics for a bit before moving back to push yourself farther. It’s especially a useful thing to revisit if you’ve hit a plateau.

  5. yes revisiting topics. I’ve been applying and improving my game ever since the vh1 pua show a couple of years back.
    I’ve found blog entries very helpful in reminding me about game concepts and improving in new aspects like texting women.

  6. Kino is magical. I’ve worked in restaurants and one classic kino move was to brush up against the waitresses while in tight quarters, giving plausibly deniability, usually near or in the kitchen. The great thing about kino is that it’s a test: if a chick digs you, she will interpret it as you liking her, and it turns into a fun game of escalations.

    My problem is I now rarely ever find good, plausibly deniable, opportunities to kino chicks. I probably just need to think more creatively.

    1. “Magical” is the right word.

      In our crowded but atomized society, where everyone believes themselves to have a “personal zone of privacy,” stepping into that taboo forthrightly and without apology leaves a lasting impression. There is no customary way to verbalize a defense, except by escalating it to the extreme: Don’t touch me!!!! So if it remains a subtle transgression, the touched girl must internalize her confusion and attempt to sort it all out privately. She knows it is not a true invasion of her bodily integrity worth making a public fuss over, and at the same time she knows it is not nothing.

      Now, if you have demonstrated your value, the kino is not an invasion but rather a welcome or even sought-after response from the Man in The Room, a secret little prize that she packs away into her id like collectable porcelain.

      Whether welcome or surprising, kino knocks her off her stride. The assumption that she is literally untouchable by strangers is kicked out from under her like a stool, and she is left flailing to regain her balance. She is not used to being literally man-handled, her tummy tells her she wants to be, but her brain says she shouldn’t want to be and hey! he’s not supposed to! Her reaction can go either way, considering how comfortable you’ve made her in the run-up and how subtly you’ve deployed your method. She will either lean toward a tummy reaction or a brain reaction: confusion and excitement, or discomfort and alarm.

      And if you have demonstrated your value sufficiently, the girls will initiate the kino for you. (If this doesn’t happen to you often, you aren’t aloof enough.) When that happens, a whole new world of options opens up: a fantastic point of view: no one to tell you no, or where to go, or say you’re only dreaming. You can open her eyes, take her wonder by wonder, over, sideways and under, on a magic carpet ride. A whole new world! A dazzling place she never knew! When she’s way up there, it’ll be crystal clear, that now she’s in a whole new world with you.

      It’s not just magical, it’s Disney magicallllll.

  7. I appreciate topics like this. I’m not a PUA or anything like that, just an ordinary shlub trying to figure all of this out, how it works, why it works, and how to apply it to my own relationship with my fiance. Topics like this are very helpful to people like me who really need these blogs the most.

  8. Sturgeon’s Law states that “ninety percent of everything is crap,” but there is also another law that states, “ninety percent of everything is the basics.”

    Most people tend to gloss the basics and then focus on the remaining 10%, which is really just bells and whistles. Yes, bells and whistles are fun and interesting, but they’re just not effective without solid basics. When people pan Game as monkey dancing, this is usually what they are mean – PUA wannabes throwing around bell-and-whistle techniques and routines as a substitution for real alpha. Contrast that with someone who has internalized the basics of ‘alpha’ and the difference could not be more clear.

    To use a martial arts example, by focusing on just the most basic techniques, a person can become decently formidable in just six months to a year. But a person who moves too quickly to advanced, flashy “cool” techniques will end up with a lot of useless knowledge that cannot be applied well in real life.

    If you really want to improve and get good at something, focus on the basics. Don’t learn the tricks of the trade. Learn the trade.

  9. I had a strong affirmation of the power of kino earlier this year with a woman I seduced. She was already attracted to me from our first meeting and subsequent emails/chats when we met at a coffee shop – a face to face meeting to build rapport, at least that was my agenda. Kino can only be done face to face so it is important that I take advantage of the situation. Normally, I would have sat us on a couch or two armchairs pulled close together, but none were available, so we sat at a table facing each other.

    I’m sure we looked very formal, each sitting across from one another with a table between us in a crowded cafe. She was clasping her hands together with both elbows on the table. When the conversation turned to an emotional topic for her, I used my reply to connect with her emotionally and I punctuated it by lightly grabbing her elbow while I spoke and then letting go when I finished, with a slight lean back and wait for her reply. The conversation moved on, but soon our meeting was interrupted by an urgent phone call I had to take. That turned out to be my only kino opportunity.

    Later in the relationship, as we reminisced about the beginning, she remembered my touch on her elbow and said it struck her profoundly, and she admitted that at that moment for the first time, she felt a real emotional connection to me.

    Nothing more than a touch on her elbow in an emotional moment and she “knew.”

    1. This reminded me of when I went out for coffee with an old girlfriend, and she recounted our first date where I pulled my arm around her waist as we walked. I’d completely forgotten this (only remembering the BJ later on), but in her mind this simple brutish action was a incredible emotional expression of desire which laid the entire foundation for the relationship and would surely win me back.

      However, since I’m mostly dumb and horny, I don’t like to overthink these things. It was the second date and she was tipsy, and any move whatsoever on my part would have been the most romantic gesture ever in her brain.

  10. It’s best to have an understanding of the different levels of kino. They are like the locks of the Panama Canal: you have to go through the stages in order to get to the end.

    If you jump ahead in the order of any of these without getting some kind of OK, you come off as creepy:

    1 Social Touch (handshakes etc.)
    2 Friendly Touch (hugs, playfighting, touch on the back)
    3 Romantic Touch (holding hands, having her sit in your lap)
    4 Sexual Touch (whatever happens after kissing)

    I think Kino is the most important thing in game, and everything else is icing on the cake. This is because it works on the pre-rational, body language level, and that’s where girls exist. Everything I do in game is about riding kino.. keeping in mind where what stage we are at, pro-actively pushing towards higher levels, pulling back if necessary, etc.

    1. I definitely agree with there being stages. There are even stages of the body. First you go with the exterior, the fingers, the hands, the arm, the upper arm, rubbing up against them. Then the lower back. It’s a very visceral experience. You [i]feel[/i] things. It’s even better with engaging eye contact while remaining elusive.

  11. Is the prelude to kino eye contact?

    I make eye contact with a girl I’m gaming. It’s become part of our ritual. She looks at me, raises her eye brows in an inviting way, asking me to come over to talk to her or smiling with her eyes if I wink.

    She will try to get me attention with her eyes only to then look away if I look her way.

    Alternately she will pretend she’s not looking at me only to get caught out if she looks over and sees me looking in her direction.

  12. My simplistic understanding of Kino Mechanics: If you want to stick your penis into a woman, you have to touch her hand first and work up from there.

    If you’re “isolated” with a woman and she’s responding to flirtatious touching, it’s the home stretch and you really shouldn’t need a bunch of jargony PUA theory to get laid at that point. (On the other hand, if the point of this post was “don’t be a creep by rubbing random girls”, then I agree.)

  13. The problem with “Strategic Kino” is it is too consciously deployed. If you are plotting out whether and when and where to touch, that literal heavy-handedness is communicated in the contact, like an electric current. Likewise, a casual dominance can similarly be communicated, given the inner mastery of your frame. We — and especially women — are hair-trigger sensitive to these things, which is why you can go from kino to creepy-grabby in an instant, depending on what thoughts are dominating your consciousness at the time.

    Imagine kino as communicating your thoughts without speaking, a kind of low-grade Extrasensory Projection (the other ESP), or cognokinesis.

    Crucial to kino’s deployment is the naturalness of one’s technique. It must flow from your personality without a hitch or a hiccup, and can never be accompanied by the conscious or unconscious thought, “I will touch you here and now.”

    A good example of the awkwardness of kino fuck-up is the Sideways scene where Miles misplays his move in every possible way against Mia, hesitating when he should have pounced, overthinking it in the bathroom, then pouncing when he should have remained aloof:

    Madsen has aged well, considering her formerly ridiculous hotness in her prime, and her maturity allows her to convey a pitch perfect example of game. Yes, here is an example of the woman upping the game quotient when the man’s efforts aren’t quite adequate, leaving a vacuum in the middle of a relationship both want to progress. Do women do this in real life? Hey, it’s a movie.

    I can’t find a clip of the cringe-inducing follow-up fuck-up, though, which was the point of posting it. (Yes, he fucks it up even worse than his cowardly withdrawal from her kino depicted above.)

    This is one of the sexiest scenes ever committed to film, followed by one of the most awkward, though the full impact of them together is only available in context of the rest of the movie. Sideways is excellent all around, great great, one of the best of all time, a classic.

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