Disassembling ONEitis

pedestal-woman-color-final3

Just a personal note here; at the end of November I accepted a very lucrative promo contract for a large entertainment/gaming corporation. It should last me a while and keep me busy in several states this coming year. As if that weren’t enough, I also accepted a principal creative offer to add an additional brand to my portfolio (craft beer/ale) as of last week. Needless to say this will keep me busy throughout 2017.

Unfortunately, I had to cut short my sabbatical I was using to work on the third installment of The Rational Male. Progress is still moving apace, but I’ve moved my publishing date out to March of next year to give me time to settle into my new projects. I wont be taking any time away from the blog, but one benefit of my new gig is that it’s put me in such a position that I’ve been able to begin making the rounds again on my old forums (SoSuave) as well as the Red Pill sub on Reddit and a few others.

It was on the TRP subredd that I came across this post from The_Bitter_TruthIt gels pretty well with what I’ve been developing over last week so I thought I’d riff on it for a bit.

Recently I met my perfect 10. I was mesmerized by her beauty – I actually froze up in front of her during the middle of our first conversation (not typical of me). I am currently, and was at the time when we met, spinning plates (including my ONEitis), but for some reason I idolized this girl. Somewhere inside of me decided I had to have this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I fooled myself into thinking she was different, and I put her on a pedestal.

The ‘special little snowflake’ concept is a very old Red Pill cliché, but sometimes it’s worth returning to why these came about. One thing Blue Pill conditioning does for boys who will later become men is that, by default, it puts the feminine as the highest priority men need to have for their lives. One reason I stress men becoming their own mental point of origin is because they are taught from a very early age to replace their own imperatives as their first thought with those of women; in other words to pedestalize the feminine. They are conditioned to seek feminine approval, and in so doing, the reward that this approval represents becomes the gender-correct context through which boys and Blue Pill men are taught to filter their social interactions through.

Because the feminine is the ‘correct’ context in which men are raised, the natural, deductive, response with regard to intimacy is to place girls and women on the proverbial pedestal. I mentioned this dynamic a couple of posts ago, but the pedestal Blue Pill men refer to is a personal part of a much larger social pedestal upon which men are taught to put women on socially. The larger whole of Blue Pill conditioned society will later blame this pedestalization on individual men – being told their insecurities are due to their own deficits, a lack of confidence or a belief in themselves – when in fact they were raised and conditioned by a feminine-primary social order to default to this pedestalization. This default deference to pedestalizing women may indeed be something men must overcome in the long term scope of their lives, but make no mistake, it starts from a feminine-centric, feminine-correct upbringing.

Even for guys employing Game and dating non-exclusively, there at some point comes a ‘special’ One girl that embodies a deeply held Blue Pill idealism about the ‘perfect girl’ for him. Usually this girl meets the criteria for what he considers his ‘Genetic Celebrity‘, but as men mature they tend to modify this ideal based on what their conditioning has taught them qualifies as a ‘Quality Woman‘.

This occurrence is always a test for men who are Red Pill aware. Men’s own innate idealism is focused on outward possibilities; the hope for what can be. The problem is that this male idealism has always been a useful thumbscrew in conditioning men to accept a necessary deference to women, and this comes at a price.

Two Sides of ONEitis

One of two things generally happen for the Blue Pill guy who gets his wish and achieves intimacy with his ONEitis girl. He either defaults to supplication with her, or his ONEitis idealization of her is dispelled, and she and womankind are brought back down to earth to mingle with the mere mortals. It’s important to really understand what ONEitis really is; an unhealthy attachment to  an idealization. A lot of guys make the mistake of believing that if they’re “really in love” with their ONEitis everything is OK, but the fact is that guys wrapped up in ONEitis are committed to the belief in their idealized Dream Girl.

On the third date with my ONEitis we made dinner at my place, we watched a movie together, and we fucked for the first time. For the first time in a long time I was actually anxious (maybe even excited?) about having sex, as I had been idolizing and fantasizing over this girl for some time. Even though I was anxious I didn’t spill my beans and kept my cool, and gave her a fuck she’ll be hard pressed to forget – but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her: The sex isn’t that great and neither is she. At this point she’s no different than any other girl I’ve put into my bed who’s spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn’t any better than me, and I’m not a better person for fucking her. It doesn’t make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.

In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities. In my mind I had painted her out to be this perfect angel – but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She was so attractive to me because she seemed out of reach, but now that I’ve had a taste I know it’s nothing special.

This is a good example of having the ONEitis ideal disillusioned for a guy. When PUA gurus tell you to think of a hot girl like she’s just another girl that mental state comes from replicating this disillusionment. Roissy had an excellent maxim in The 16 Commandments of Poon about this:

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire.…

Roissy even goes on to suggest guys stop using terms like ‘hot’ or ‘cute’ when referring to women (as well as to avoid complimenting women on their looks if you’re not sleeping with her) in order to put your head out of the conditioning that led to your idealization of what will become a ONEitis woman. Again, the idea is to come to the disillusionment state Bitter Truth is outlining here before you make an approach and before you move into any possibility of becoming monogamous with a girl who’s representative of an idealization.

Another way I was misleading myself is that I was using my ONEitis for validation – “If I can fuck this 10 then obviously I’m the perfect chad that I’ve always wanted to become.” I was looking for acceptance through someone else’s eyes, but when I finally got it – it didn’t change who I was as a person. Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous – but it doesn’t make you a better person.

I’ve covered the idea of men using sex for validation before, so I wont belabor it now. However, I will add that it is part of Blue Pill conditioning’s goal that men internalize the idea that their sexual imperative is inherently bad and, by a feminine-primary context, incorrect. Part of making men believe this is inculcating the idea that men seek to build their egos and their status up by having sex in popular culture. Part of this comes from the goal-centered nature of men being the sexual performers for women’s acceptance – further reinforced in a fem-centric social order – but beyond this, the sex-for-affirmation narrative is meant to diminish the legitimacy of men’s sexual strategies in favor of women’s socially correct sexual strategy (Hypergamy).

I hear and read even well-meaning Red Pill men who still promote this idea while tossing out “atta girls” for women aping men’s sexual imperatives themselves. The giveaway here is in Bitter Truth’s referring to his not ‘feeling like a better person’ for having banged his Dream Girl. His anticipation was that he would ‘be a better person’ for having been approved for, and consolidating on, sex with his ONEitis. Again, this comes back to the disillusionment I mention above, but it’s also the result of his being conditioned to believe that ‘all men have sex to build their egos, their status, and feel good about themselves’.

Feminine-primary society seeks to diminish men’s sexual agency, and the primary way of doing this is to turn it into a pathology. We see this all the time with regards to how feminism and the Feminine Imperative obfuscate and redefine conventional masculinity to fit its convenience. But with regards to men’s sexual imperatives, their strategy must be made a sickness or an ego flaw when they pursue it.

I’ve read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They’re usually written about the girl we can’t have, or the girl that’s out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can’t have them. Sometimes if we never see what she’s like up close, we’ll never be able to see through our ONEitis tinted lenses we’re viewing her with. She is just another girl. She’s not perfect, I just refused to see her as she really is. The only thing special about her is her looks – and she really doesn’t bring anything into my life except another hole to fill. The morning after her phone was blown up with messages from beta orbiters telling her good morning and asking her how her night was (great thanks to me, and thanks for asking). These guys were idolizing her the same way I was by putting this girl on a pedestal and refusing to see her as an equal (or less). They’re wasting their time. They don’t really know this girl, they just want the fantasy figure they’ve painted inside their minds.

This is a good observation, but the thing is that this ‘celebrity’ Dream Girl isn’t something they’ve painted in their heads of their own volition. Women’s Beta Orbiters are a persistent fact over generations now because it’s what they’ve been bred and raised to be. To be sure, most willingly create their own idealizations, but the seed is already there for them to water.

There’s an interesting paradox about this disillusionment. On one hand there is a certain emotional satisfaction that comes from believing in that Dream Girl ideal. It’s what inspires men to achievement, self-improvement and many great creative endeavors. But the idealization can become a trap. It becomes a comfort to believe in that Blue Pill Disney-wishes-can-come-true fantasy, and that fantasy transforms into a sweet vindication when a Blue Pill guy finally gets his Dream Girl. At that point his investment in that ideal girl is just as important as his capacity to sustain that relationship in a Blue Pill context.

These are the guys who get gobsmacked when their Dream Girl leaves them once they’ve determined that he’s not the Alpha dominant guy he’s sold himself as. Now, not only is he dealing with losing “the best girl he’s ever gotten”, he’s also confronting the truth that his Blue Pill conditioning and the ideals it’s bred into him have been false and a source of his own self-deception. Losing that ONEitis girl is compounded by his losing faith in his Blue Pill world.

So if you have a ONEitis you’re fantasizing over right now, take a quick moment and consider that she’s just a normal girl with above average looks (or just really good at putting on makeup). She has flaws and imperfections – you just haven’t known her long enough for them to come out, or you’re refusing to see them. Literally the only reason I wanted this girl was because of something that was completely irrelevant to who she is as a person – good genetics. She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl. She’s not perfect and makes dumb choices. She’s just looking for her Chad – just like every other girl. “We see the world (girl), not as it (she) is, but as we are.”

Edit: I would like to stress the importance of spinning plates and having options. It has helped me greatly. Not only for the abundance mentality, but being able to compare her to my other plates has helped me put things into perspective – but having plates didn’t prevent me from developing ONEitis in this circumstance.

I did a fun post a while back called Show and Tell where I compared the pictures of made up and non-made up porn stars to illustrate the fantasy image men hold with the real-life ‘smell her farts’ reality of women. Most Blue Pill men will tell you that their idealizations are about the girl underneath all the make up. This is the idealization they are taught to believe is acceptable for women because it absolves women of having to qualify in any way for men’s sexually strategic approval. Holding standards for a woman’s looks, her weight or how she presents herself will always be conflated with sexual objectification of women. But when a Blue Pill guy finds his Unicorn she almost always qualifies for that status because of “who she really is”.

While it’s all well and good to keep a realistic perspective of a woman’s presentation, part of Blue Pill conditioning is promoting the idea that the women men ought to pedestalize should base that idealization on intrinsic rather than extrinsic factors. You will find that some of the most pathetic guys with ONEitis will often pine over some of the least physically attractive women. I’ve stood in wonderment over the weeping and gnashing of teeth Blue Pill guys will display over women whom they exceed in SMV by as much as 2 points.

That’s the ‘real’ ONEitis; when a guy who you know could easily do leagues better than his ONEitis girlfriend in the SMP is bawling over her, head in hands, because she’s his ‘One’. Looking at this from the outside we think ‘what the fuck man?’ and try to deductively reason with him about how much better he can do, but what we don’t wrap our heads around is that this guy was conditioned since his earliest years to believe that his ‘snowflake’ is unique in her intrinsic qualities.

Yes, there are guys who blow themselves up over HB 9s that they fantasize over obsessively, but for the vast majority of men (that is to say the Beta 80% of them) this fantasy remains just that, a fantasy. In fact, according to the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts most men reserve their sexual fantasies, and consciously limit their extent, for sexual encounters with women whom they believe are ‘attainable’ to them. This is one explanation for the rise in the popularity of amateur porn, but also, it’s because most men want to fantasize over what they believe might be possible for them to actualize.

I would argue that for most guys with ONEitis this comes as a result of their comparing what they believe their SMV is with the grossly over-inflated SMV value most average women apply to themselves. On average, and with the aid of connectivity and social media, most women presume their SMV value is greatly above that of men. This perception them filters down to the average guy and now you can understand why guys believe that their much lower SMV girlfriends are “the best girl they’ll ever get.”

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Ton

So, when did you watch the Liz Taylor version of TTotS? Or are you talking out of your ass?

SFC Ton
5 years ago

Read almost the complete works of Shakespeare way back when I was recovering from taking 3 to the chest.

It was the only thing I had to read besides crap ass magazines

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Joe K “They would come in with women who were happy and relaxed, and the women would come out—woman after woman—would looked stunned and upset with the same tense body language,” Linda told me.” Of course she may well have been seeing what she wanted to see. The known ingroup preference women have for other women, coupled with her wanting to see rape victims, would be a powerful factor. Reading how much some of those girls had to drink, and how many different forms of alcohol they chose, I’m somewhat impressed they could walk. Joe K And what the article… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago
theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Ton

Read almost the complete works of Shakespeare way back when I was recovering from taking 3 to the chest.
It was the only thing I had to read besides crap ass magazines

Plays were meant to be SEEN (not READ) to be appreciated. (Actors have to read the plays to learn their dialogue and English students as well, mostly to figure out the ancient vocab.)

ollieoxenfree1
5 years ago

@Rollo

I would argue society has become more peaceful since women were liberated.

We’re discussing (in part) docile men, raised by their mothers and indoctrinated by society for the advancement of the feminine imperative. These men make up the majority of western society, and are considered (by and large) peaceful. Women abhor violence (as they naturally don’t wield any power over it), so the men they raise will learn to fear and loath it also.

ollieoxenfree1
5 years ago

@Rollo Your friend’s ONEtis is due to the fact he doesn’t want to think of himself as being frivolous with these women. If he cares about them deeply (ONEtis) then he can delude himself over the nature of their relationship (pump and dump). Sean needs to see himself as a nice guy. His mother or father or both have told him how he should treat women. He’s internalised this and can’t move past it. A poster on so suave talked about re-parenting yourself. Which means recognising what you were taught was wrong and replacing it, with what should’ve been. Easier… Read more »

SFC Ton
5 years ago

Women abhor violence might be the dumbest thing ever written in the history of the interwebz

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

http://www.thelocal.se/20160201/swedish-women-tell-racists-im-not-your-woman

And, of course, Violence is Golden.

This is one of the two taboos I have mentioned that I have identified in the manosphere, one of the things we know, but do not talk about.

The other, which is related, can be found above.

SFC Ton
5 years ago

Can you be more clear kfg?

ollieoxenfree1
5 years ago

@Rollo Those masculinised invaders are swimming in the shallow end of the pool. Single mothers, the rebellious teenage girl who want to see the look on their parent’s face when she brings home Johnny foreigner. Spinsters. The middle and upper middle class (all the way to the elites) and anyone who wants to join them, are dating within their racial and socio-economic sphere. At this level it’s all about wealth and how connected you are. Their so called alphas are betas to the red pill alphas we’re familiar with. But in the bubble of this existence women know no better… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Can you be more clear kfg?”

Yes.

SFC Ton
5 years ago

LOL well played

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@kfg @ton

“Can you be more clear kfg?”
Yes.

IdagonewitMaybe

Joe K
Joe K
5 years ago

@anonymous reader

I struck a nerve, I get it. You’re the one who’s married. But she’s not The One, though – right? And yet….you MARRIED her. But meh, she’s no big deal to you though. You’d be totally captain-fantastic if it ended tomorrow, right? Of course you would. I mean, of course you’d *say* that on a manosphere blog.

My gut told me that last sentence I wrote would piss somebody off. Doesn’t make it less true.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

There are few greater DHVs than a man’s capacity to destroy another man physically.

My excuse for starting a barfight will be Rollo’s post, lol. Guess I’ll have to “destroy” someone or pay someone to act destroyed.

theasdgamer
5 years ago
Reply to  Rollo Tomassi

You’re no fun…

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Joe K

My gut told me that last sentence I wrote would piss somebody off. Doesn’t make it less true.

ImustahMissedSumting

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“This is one of the two taboos I have mentioned that I have identified in the manosphere, one of the things we know, but do not talk about.

The other, which is related, can be found above.”

KFG will draw you out until you are quartered.

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices: First Series

And One-itis: to abase oneself before–

comment image

kfg
kfg
5 years ago
kfg
kfg
5 years ago

There is a paradox involved in being more clear in talking about that which we do not talk about.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

Two fundamental truths:

The average adult woman is powerless against the physical force that can be unleashed by the average 12 year old boy.

Force works.

SFC Ton
5 years ago

Everything in the smp is a proxy for violence

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

ram; noun and verb:

Joe K
Joe K
5 years ago

@Rollo @ASD

Yes, there’ll always be a stronger guy, a better competitor at x-activity, or whatever.

But then again, the indifferent spirit of mockery trumps all:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvkDs3D-UZw

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Joe K
I struck a nerve, I get it.

Nah. It’s just tedious to watch someone rolling around in the shallow end of the pool complaining about drowning.

Joe K
Joe K
5 years ago

@AR

Got your irish up there, old timer? Relax, maybe nobody wants to bang her. So you’re in the clear, then.

Virtually all attractive women cheat today. Y’all are in denial.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Joe K

Virtually all attractive women cheat today. Y’all are in denial.

That whooshing sound you hear? It’s things going way over your head.
You’ll work your way out of the anger / nihilist phase but it clearly will take some time.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

ollie
Women abhor violence (as they naturally don’t wield any power over it),

Snicker. Who plays the game known as “Let’s You And Him Fight”, again?

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

kfg
There is a paradox involved in being more clear in talking about that which we do not talk about.

You could always post that Ronda Roushy (sic) MMA fight vid that’s going around by way of explanation.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Hey @Ton, I’m a great-uncle! And I got some blackberry moonshine for Christmas! Jimmy Johnson brand of Piedmont Distillers.

fleezer
fleezer
5 years ago

“Everything in the smp is a proxy for violence” some “scientists” identified a man’s good looks, broad shoulders and being funny as the three top qualities that correlated with the female orgasm (which they said correlated with higher chance of conception). seen through the idea that they are all a proxy for violence does make sense, especially when one considers the female agenda 1. “good” looks – of course this came down to each individual woman’s opinion and they moved beyond “good” looks as a metric and said it boiled down to how “attracted” she was to him (and we… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Joe

Virtually all attractive women cheat today

Virtually all attractive, UNTRAINED women cheat today. There. Fixed that for ya.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

Attributed to “toxic masculinity”; caused by women being “liberated.”

It’s hard to take that group too seriously, but firepower makes its own statement I guess. How many women in the tactical cop photo? I’m going with up to four.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“Y’all are in denial.” How’s that working out for you in your own personal stategy Joe? Swallowing The Red Pill causing you indigestion? The red pill tastes savory like umami to some of us. “Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.” “The fear that your partner/spouse is having an affair or is untrustworthy is often a reflection of the way you feel about yourself. All normal people functioning in relationships feel attracted to… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Joe K

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzD7f8VnEhw

Show us on the doll where she hurt you…

SFC Ton
5 years ago

I had this to shirt that said Making love is what my girl friend does while I fuck her Never once did some gal get pissy about the shirt Physical attributes that get chicks wet is about your direct ability to commit violence Other attributes that get them wet like status is about your ability to command others to do violence on your behalf. This is a topic I have talked to death over the years, especially here at Rollo’s and I don’t want to wear out my welcome but I invite everyone to mull it over. Was it Wilt… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
5 years ago

“Who plays the game known as “Let’s You And Him Fight”, again?”

They’re called promoters and they take a nice percentage without getting a scratch on them. they keep their brains intact and can keep arranging fights long after every individual fighter they ever pimped is a broke and broken-down vegetable.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have bedded 20,000 women. I have no opinion as to the claims veracity.

Derek Jeter is rumored to be closing iin on Wilt’s claimed number.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“This is a topic I have talked to death over the years, especially here at Rollo’s and I don’t want to wear out my welcome but I invite everyone to mull it over.” We did a long time ago and the message is legit enough for you to not wear your welcome out. Masculine self-enlightened-ness. What’s not to like about that? “Physical attributes that get chicks wet is about your direct ability to commit violence” It’s been a while since I quoted Deida and my fingers have been itching to do so. Mostly cause some of you just don’t acknowledge/accept… Read more »

Boxcar
Boxcar
5 years ago

I disagree that ONEits is just a social construct. There would have been a clear evolutionary advantage for men who would form a strong bond with a single woman, as long as the woman was monogamous. This last bit seems to explain men’s innate disgust for sluts, at least for this strong form of attachment. Of course, the male sexual imperative also accommodates opportunism, which makes this pretty obviously unfair from the perspective of sexual equalism. Having more than one ONEits at the same time, as some guys have mentioned, is also something that only really makes sense from an… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Rollo

Genomic evidence proves that in our hunter-gatherer days 17 women bred for every 1 man.

I call “Bullshit”. Do I win the game?

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Deida is a whole lot harder to read than Shakespeare.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Rollo linked the Insanity Plea essay. In that comment section Yohami stated: When girls are attracted they can see the good in you no matter how evil you are. When girls are unattracted they can see the evil in you no matter how good you are. https://therationalmale.com/2012/03/28/insanity-plea/#comment-4203 Deti stated that One explanation that’s sometimes offered is that the criminal, the bad boy, is attractive to a woman because he’s a rebel. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. He doesn’t follow the rules. He bends the rules. Or he lives by his own rules, making them up and changing… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“Deida is a whole lot harder to read than Shakespeare.”

To that I say “No Shit Sherlock”. Hard is an understatement. And because of his leaning into women tendency (allowing women their weaknesses) he rarely gets traction. But if you take him at his tendency to speak its you (the man) not her that is at fault, it will propel you in red pill acceptance to make your self 90% better. It’s you not her. Make yourself the best imitation of yourself. Then Game On.

Boxcar
Boxcar
5 years ago

“Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.” You are defining slut differently, while agreeing with my underlying point. A man who pair-bonded with women, without regard for their promiscuity, would not have passed on his genes. We are the product of men who bonded with a women, to the exclusion of other men… which is why every man “wants her to be HIS slut,” but not someone else’s slut. Obviously there was cuckolding/polygamy/tribal-whatever too, hence our simultaneous propensity to breed far and wide. But I don’t think you can explain the strong aversion to… Read more »

Boxcar
Boxcar
5 years ago

Rollo, when a guy talks about ‘fucking some slut last night,’ there is obviously some judgement and disgust built into the term “slut.” Granted, *some* guys will use that particular term in the positive sense, at times… But seriously, most men lack respect for promiscuous women. Just read the comments on your own blog… Or generations of “yo mamma” jokes…

Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that men REALLY love sex. If it has to be with a slut, so be it. That’s evolution for you.

ollieoxenfree1
5 years ago

@Kfg The tactical ops team has nothing to do with toxic masculinity or liberated women and everything to do with a government that knows it’s going to fail it’s people and is readying itself for the rioting and mass upheaval to follow. As well as the small matter of protecting themselves and their interests. Some have seen this coming and have set up co-operatives. The wind farm co-operatives appeals to me the most, though there are others. Generating sustainable energy financed by the community for the community. This is a form of unplugging from the state or at least the… Read more »

walawala
walawala
5 years ago

There is nothing about Oneitis that would make it anything more than a social construct. There’s nothing about obsession that is biological or positive in nature.

Oneitis is directly related to a scarcity mentality and a false belief that everything in one’s life is pre-determined…”The One”.

Seeing women as complementary to your life eliminates the neediness that is the main part of Oneitis.

IAS
IAS
5 years ago

@Rollo: about the sperm types and there being killer types (from Sperm Wars I believe, which I haven’t read yet), I read that this theory is contested. What do you think of this article disputing that theory:
http://eprints.whiterose.ac.uk/197/1/birkheadtr4.pdf

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“it’s an evolved survival adaptation to mate guard and have an innate emotional response (jealousy) at the prospect of cuckoldry or infidelity.”

Women intuit this and will shit test fidelity as needed.

SFC Ton
5 years ago

They mate guard themselves when they are in to you

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

“military unit cannot be be beholden to the absolute rules, lest they commit themselves to being non-adaptable in the field. Am I right?”

True that. Cold War Soviet bloc ground forces had a rep for fealty to orders and when presented with an unconventional situation would stall, seeking top-down guidance. U.S. forces had more lower-echelon leeway to carry out missions…at least as I served.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@ollieoxenfree1: “The tactical ops team . . .” . . . began with the FBI. The FBI began with Prohibition. Prohibition began with women’s suffrage. ” . . . everything to do with a government . . .” The government is a tool of the shadow government. Of course women’s suffrage was also a tool of the shadow government. “The wind farm co-operatives appeals to me the most . . . ” You will need a higher civilization to piggyback off of, although, for a time, scavenging a fallen civilization will suffice. You may need to understand the power of… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Cold War Soviet bloc ground forces had a rep for fealty to orders and when presented with an unconventional situation would stall, seeking top-down guidance.”

Even before that it has been said that that was the determining factor in the Battle of the Bulge. When the tactical situation changed, the Germans waited for fresh orders. The Allies just kept on fighting for their lives.

SFC Ton
5 years ago

The military is probably to complex an organization to use as a good example of much beyond single, one of a kind examples

There are probaly 10 or more examples subordinate commanders going of script and losing then winning

The more complex the situation the more likly going of script is going to fuck you

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@kfg

As I noted some years ago, the way to improve the crank laptop/flashlight is to attach a piece of string and a brick. You “recharge” them by picking up the brick.

Or oxen could be used to turn a shaft to pick up a brick. With enough pulleys, a very large load could be picked up. Of course, pulleys require maintenance. A smith is essential.

Fred Flange, Xisself
Fred Flange, Xisself
5 years ago

@Sensei: The stufy touting the “17 women reproduced to one man” concept was immediately challenged, the problem being the genome data were not properly correlated. The proponents forgot that when men reproduce their particular identifying genome may or may not appear in the offspring chain, as I recall a good 40% of the time. So that particular 17-to-1 figure is extreme. Sociologically the concept that a select group of men have the most action with most of the women is sound, the ratio is just not that stark, more like 4 to 1, sort of like the Pareto Principle ratios.… Read more »

Agent P
Agent P
5 years ago

We should test it, put a bunch of sperm in a cock ring and let them fight for some eggs. Huevos Spermatos

@Boxcar, the men who are aghast and recoil in disgust from sluts are the men who A. Don’t want to admit to true female nature, B. Have no capacity to tame female nature, C, are not likely to get the slut except downstream when they are all used up D. want to live pretty much in denial about A and B and likely C.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@ASD: With ball bearings a goat can do the work of an ox with plain bearings, and a goat requires fewer resources to maintain. With LEDs that goat is going to produce considerably more light than the ox with plain bearings and incandescents. The local smith isn’t going to hammer that shit out of pig (and he’ll need a source of pig, which he can’t get from shit). Goats have the advantage of being self-reproducing. They have the disadvantage of needing to be, ’cause they get sick and die and shit if you don’t see to their needs every day,… Read more »

stuffinbox
5 years ago

The biggest problem with the self sustaining community,is they are surrounded by and infiltrated with those that aren’t self sustaining,who also have bigger guns.

Agent P
Agent P
5 years ago

Just watch the walking dead to see how all those dynamics play out in self sustaining communities vs vagabonds.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

Effective self-defense is the first necessity of a community. The need for the genus Homo to employ technology for that purpose predates the species Sapiens.

The self-sustaining community is almost always the dream of a Utopian. Utopians almost always include in the definition of Utopia the abjuration of violence.

Violence wins.

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

“There are few greater DHVs than a man’s capacity to destroy another man physically.” ” have you read anything about the specific types of sperm cells and how they function? To the point, while all human sperm cells can fertilize an egg there are specific types that are ‘runners’. ‘blockers’ and ‘killers’. More importantly, they evolved because competitive pressures in mating made it such that right down to the cellular level it was a fight for paternity because of Hypergamous sexual selection. Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut. Genomic evidence proves that in… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

“There are few greater DHVs than a man’s capacity to destroy another man physically.”

“The self-sustaining community is almost always the dream of a Utopian. Utopians almost always include in the definition of Utopia the abjuration of violence.

Violence wins.”

“Effective self-defense is the first necessity of a community. The need for the genus Homo to employ technology for that purpose predates the species Sapiens.”

stuffinbox
5 years ago

As we witness the decline of modern civilization,while having the benefit of recorded history at our fingertips..It becomes clear which part of the cycle we are in and what the next cycle will be.

The trick is to achieve the ultimate goal of survival without losing ones head in the current set of circumstances.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

kfg
The FBI began with Prohibition.

No. Not true. Check dates.

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

Hello dudes and Happy 2017 On the topic of oneitis.. so I get all this stuff you’re saying Rollo, but I’m trying to reconcile it with the world as I experience it. I realize much of this stuff is geared toward the younglings.. but you really caught my attention pointing out the phenomenon of oneitis over a lower SMV girl.. catching up.. last I blogged here I was seeing this girl 15 years my junior.. we had a mini-LTR ~ 8 months. She ended it because she wanted kids (bio clock), marriage, etc.. which I did consider, but I wanted… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“No. Not true. Check dates.”

The BOI was founded in 1908.

When a Federal organization changes its name, it is almost always because it has assumed a new mission. In other words, become a new organization occupying the same space as the old. It is a mistake to consider them the same organization just because they occupy the same space.

However, I perhaps would have been more accurate in citing the Untouchables, who did, in fact, predate the FBI, effectively being its pilot project.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Boxcar, in your opinion is the Madonna / whore issue Western men have inborn, or learned?
.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

kfg, Dept. of Treasury Revenuers got extraordinary powers because of the Volstead Act.
You might want to look into the details of the Mann Act.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@kfg

With ball bearings, you need fancy lubricants, a chemical industry, petroleum, etc. You also need books for education on your tech.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@ Fred Flange The proponents forgot that when men reproduce their particular identifying genome may or may not appear in the offspring chain, as I recall a good 40% of the time. Especially when you’re only looking at the Y-chromosome. Lots of men have daughters, but not sons. There was also a GREAT disparity in male reproduction between rural/mining and urban life. Slaves in rural/mining occupations tended to not have families or reproduce and they were almost all male. So, slavery and hard-working, dangerous occupations would have necessitated that only urban males (and some rural masters) would have reproduced. Of… Read more »

Softek
Softek
5 years ago

Being in a relationship has thoroughly disillusioned me about women. When I was an incel I was obsessed with sex, and jerking off to porn every day felt like hell on earth, because I was craving the real thing. As time has gone on in the relationship I have been craving porn a lot more and usually prefer masturbating by myself to having sex. Hanging out with my friends on a regular basis, spending all day in my workshop, playing videogames, watching movies or shows…I feel like this is as good as it gets. I have a blast when I’m… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

@TuffLuv — Hate to say it, but you’re already kind of in a bit of a fog there. If she’s 30 and wants kids, and you marry her, at 55 you’re not going to be sitting and reading a book while she plays the keys — you’re going to be up to your elbows in stuff relating to the kids. If you have kids, you already know this (you say you’re divorced, but I’m not clear as to whether you have kids or not) — if you don’t, trust me, when you have kids, most stuff in your life changes… Read more »

SFC Ton
5 years ago

Yup Amish get to try out their utpoa because other men with guns keep the ugly away.

Last I looked, they are thriving lestwise by birthrate but it’s an illusion

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Dept. of Treasury Revenuers got extraordinary powers because of the Volstead Act.”

And you are correct, that predates women’s suffrage. Prohibition was a major plank in the women’s movement, but it was not the direct result of women voting. I have been sloppy.

“You might want to look into the details of the Mann Act.”

My “home territory” is bisected by a Mann Border. There have been times when I have had to employ a degree of caution if I didn’t want to come down with a case of “Charlie Chaplin’s Disease.”

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Boxcar We are the product of men who bonded with a women, to the exclusion of other men… Yes and no. Partiarchies tend to overrun matriarchies, so there’s truth to the notion of pair bonding as a foundation stone of civilization. However AF-BB is not a modern invention, it’s part of women’s hindbrain wiring. So “we” may be the product of pair bonded men as well as women who cheated ‘just a little” on the side. Dalrock posted a series of articles on Courtly Love from the religious point of view, I won’t even attempt to summarize but that construct… Read more »

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

@nova

Very true points and exactly the ones that have held me in check.. I have three kids, two grown boys and an 8 yr old girl. So yeah I hear ya.. thanks for echoing the more rational side of my thought processes..

But my post is more about the emotional attachment I seem to have to this girl.. I guess I’m trying to point out that oneitis isn’t always about a pedestal, it can be about intrinsic qualities that you feel would be difficult to replicate, especially given the cesspool SMP we live in.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

Why is lesbian sex arousing for heterosexual men, while homosexuality is not? Because two women getting themselves worked up implies double the breeding potential, not to mention double the pleasure. Two men going at it is repulsive because there is no potential for breeding or pleasure. That’s a part of it, I think, but it’s also a few other things. One is that for straight men, women are visually arousing, whereas men are not — so looking at two women is arousing while looking at two men is not. The reason, though, I think that depictions of gay male sex… Read more »

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

@scribblerg

you’re fuckin-A right I hear the hooves brother.. getting old sucks when you’re still in the rat race with obligations, save one thing.. and that is that people actually take you seriously, and consider you a true force.. takes a long time to get there, for you young-men out there. Once you have it though you won’t wanna trade it for anything.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@ASD: “With ball bearings, you need fancy lubricants” In my first draft I had included teflon and silicone lubricants, but then redacted them because it isn’t true. Fancy lubricants are are far more needed with plain bearings than with ball bearings, an unlubricated ball bearing turning freer and lasting longer than a lubricated plain bearing. And ball bearings can use the same natural lubricants that were used on plain bearings for millennia. In a pinch you can use beeswax, lard or butter quite effectively. Their failing is extreme temperature sensitivity, not ability to lubricate, per se. Even vegetable oil (such… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Ton
Yup Amish get to try out their utpoa because other men with guns keep the ugly away.

Last I looked, they are thriving lestwise by birthrate but it’s an illusion

They are growing in number mainly by birth rate. It’s real, and they will continue to increase as long as they don’t have too many really nasty neighbors. Las time I checked the biggest groups of Amish and Mennonites were in North America – Canada, US, some in Mexico. Not in Africa or any part of Asia. Heck of a coincidence, that is.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Tuff I guess I’m trying to point out that oneitis isn’t always about a pedestal, it can be about intrinsic qualities that you feel would be difficult to replicate, especially given the cesspool SMP we live in. You’re just defining your pedestal a little differently… That said… when you can not operate out of fear (of loss, the difficulty to replace) what would be your problem getting what you value and want? Sitting around the fire with her cooking… albeit there would be a little Tuff in their with her… Rollo As Scray often said, women will fuck dogs. And… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

AR the reality is they all have the potential to play Good Girl for a while – maybe years, maybe decades, maybe only minutes, it varies – and they all have the potential to be nasty little sloots. These are the problems dogs have, using doggy word games… Women just are… their nature is dependent on the men they are interacting with, and unchanging. Concepts like degrade, slut, perversion, base, craven… etc. These are dog concepts and dogs love em, always looking to project them on cats. Cats are all this, from ROllo we also need to consider that women… Read more »

ollieoxenfree1
5 years ago

@TuffLuv

Firstly, your woman is a demon in the sack because she’s hell bent on having a baby.
Once she becomes pregnant that will change. Is it something you’re ready for?
Secondly are you financially free from your divorce? Are you in a position to support a new family?
Do you know why her other relationships haven’t progressed in the manner she’d like?

She seems like dream girl material (from what you’ve written), but you’ve got to remember this is her at her best. She wants something from you. Who will she be, once she gets it?

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

“Dept. of Treasury Revenuers got extraordinary powers because of the Volstead Act.” And you are correct, that predates women’s suffrage. Prohibition was a major plank in the women’s movement, but it was not the direct result of women voting. It is fun to make liberals and feminists uncomfortable with the fact that Prohibition and Womens’ Suffrage were intertwined like the strands of DNA. Because the violent tyranny and corruption that resulted from Prohibition is obvious to them, and they don’t want it stuck on their hands. Both parts of the same movement were all about moralizing, of course. A little… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

TuffLuv to Nova I have three kids, two grown boys and an 8 yr old girl. Ok, so you are all but certainly on the hook for child support for the next 10+ years. That’s got to be included in any calculations about future relationships. Unless she remarried, maybe. Now, you got married, you made babies, then something happened maybe 3 or 4 years back and you’re divorced. What did you learn from that? If you could go back in time, how would you manage your then-wife differently? You know that things changed after the first child, what would you… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

This is the day in the year 2017 when Rollo Tomassi coined the term “demi-monogamy”, a most excellent descriptor for human mating; it incorporates AF-BB, AF-BC, enforced monogamy, soft polygamy, hard polygamy…it’s just great. And if it’s not the first use, eh, it’s the first time I saw it, so “close enough”.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Sentient
And as Scray often said, he did not think a woman watching two guys have sex would turn them on… go figure????

If Scray said that, he was wrong, and there’s documented research to that effect: women insisting with their forebrain “This is not arousing” while their damp panties say otherwise. The Waterloo, Ca. research didn’t use a lot of women, so I guess tradcons can NAWALT all they want, but…the research results are obvious. Watching sexual action stokes up women at the basic level, even as they may well deny it with their words.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Sentient
These are the problems dogs have, using doggy word games… Women just are… their nature is dependent on the men they are interacting with, and unchanging.

Toh-MAY-toh, toh-MAH-toh.

But if it makes you happy to say WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! ME BIGGEST DOGGY!, then go ahead, and give yourself a Milk Bone on the side.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

AR

Tomato eh…

Look at this from Ollie a scant few minutes ago your woman is a demon in the sack … Demon… It’s not a difference in words, it’s one of worldview. Dog’s worldview are different… Tomato, Potato.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@kfg

Even vegetable oil (such as castor bean or lemon grass) will do (and actually reduce friction more than grease.

Yeah, high temps kill lube and cause lockups/damage/etc. That’s why you need fancy lubes that can take the heat. Some apps allow you to use low-tech greases. People will run machinery as fast as possible until it breaks. Assume PBFAM (Problem Between Floor And Machine).

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

Why would this be if pair bonding was at the top of women’s hindbrain sexual strategies priorities? Oh sure — it isn’t. Monogamy as we have come to know it was almost certainly imposed, because it came at the expense of hypergamy for almost all women. Most likely it came about as a pact among the men, with the top men sharing women with the follower men in order to encourage greater cooperation, less conflict and outcompete other tribes. Hypergamy was suppressed by this system, more or less, which is why so many belts and suspenders of overlapping controls were… Read more »

mersonia
5 years ago

@Senty

“And as Scray often said, he did not think a woman watching two guys have sex would turn them on… go figure????”

In the discussion about your DPA…and that being fucked by another man is alpha if you believe it. (lol gay)

Scray Stated that a man being fucked by another man because he wants to (lol) doesn’t cause a women to be more attracted to him.

Not that two guys having sex wouldn’t turn a female on.

http://i.imgur.com/ItKun5n.gif

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Mrs. Sonia Scray Stated that a man being fucked by another man because he wants to (lol) doesn’t cause a women to be more attracted to him Your streak of manifest retardation and tepid content is unabated. She is aroused by watching two men have sex, yes? How is she getting aroused without being attracted? Attraction is the key to everything sayeth ThePUA! whut? Can she be aroused without being attracted? Oh wait that’s right you idiots kept also saying women don’t know what gets them hot – they get wet from looking at dog dong – so looks didn’t… Read more »

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