Just a personal note here; at the end of November I accepted a very lucrative promo contract for a large entertainment/gaming corporation. It should last me a while and keep me busy in several states this coming year. As if that weren’t enough, I also accepted a principal creative offer to add an additional brand to my portfolio (craft beer/ale) as of last week. Needless to say this will keep me busy throughout 2017.
Unfortunately, I had to cut short my sabbatical I was using to work on the third installment of The Rational Male. Progress is still moving apace, but I’ve moved my publishing date out to March of next year to give me time to settle into my new projects. I wont be taking any time away from the blog, but one benefit of my new gig is that it’s put me in such a position that I’ve been able to begin making the rounds again on my old forums (SoSuave) as well as the Red Pill sub on Reddit and a few others.
It was on the TRP subredd that I came across this post from The_Bitter_Truth. It gels pretty well with what I’ve been developing over last week so I thought I’d riff on it for a bit.
Recently I met my perfect 10. I was mesmerized by her beauty – I actually froze up in front of her during the middle of our first conversation (not typical of me). I am currently, and was at the time when we met, spinning plates (including my ONEitis), but for some reason I idolized this girl. Somewhere inside of me decided I had to have this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I fooled myself into thinking she was different, and I put her on a pedestal.
The ‘special little snowflake’ concept is a very old Red Pill cliché, but sometimes it’s worth returning to why these came about. One thing Blue Pill conditioning does for boys who will later become men is that, by default, it puts the feminine as the highest priority men need to have for their lives. One reason I stress men becoming their own mental point of origin is because they are taught from a very early age to replace their own imperatives as their first thought with those of women; in other words to pedestalize the feminine. They are conditioned to seek feminine approval, and in so doing, the reward that this approval represents becomes the gender-correct context through which boys and Blue Pill men are taught to filter their social interactions through.
Because the feminine is the ‘correct’ context in which men are raised, the natural, deductive, response with regard to intimacy is to place girls and women on the proverbial pedestal. I mentioned this dynamic a couple of posts ago, but the pedestal Blue Pill men refer to is a personal part of a much larger social pedestal upon which men are taught to put women on socially. The larger whole of Blue Pill conditioned society will later blame this pedestalization on individual men – being told their insecurities are due to their own deficits, a lack of confidence or a belief in themselves – when in fact they were raised and conditioned by a feminine-primary social order to default to this pedestalization. This default deference to pedestalizing women may indeed be something men must overcome in the long term scope of their lives, but make no mistake, it starts from a feminine-centric, feminine-correct upbringing.
Even for guys employing Game and dating non-exclusively, there at some point comes a ‘special’ One girl that embodies a deeply held Blue Pill idealism about the ‘perfect girl’ for him. Usually this girl meets the criteria for what he considers his ‘Genetic Celebrity‘, but as men mature they tend to modify this ideal based on what their conditioning has taught them qualifies as a ‘Quality Woman‘.
This occurrence is always a test for men who are Red Pill aware. Men’s own innate idealism is focused on outward possibilities; the hope for what can be. The problem is that this male idealism has always been a useful thumbscrew in conditioning men to accept a necessary deference to women, and this comes at a price.
Two Sides of ONEitis
One of two things generally happen for the Blue Pill guy who gets his wish and achieves intimacy with his ONEitis girl. He either defaults to supplication with her, or his ONEitis idealization of her is dispelled, and she and womankind are brought back down to earth to mingle with the mere mortals. It’s important to really understand what ONEitis really is; an unhealthy attachment to an idealization. A lot of guys make the mistake of believing that if they’re “really in love” with their ONEitis everything is OK, but the fact is that guys wrapped up in ONEitis are committed to the belief in their idealized Dream Girl.
On the third date with my ONEitis we made dinner at my place, we watched a movie together, and we fucked for the first time. For the first time in a long time I was actually anxious (maybe even excited?) about having sex, as I had been idolizing and fantasizing over this girl for some time. Even though I was anxious I didn’t spill my beans and kept my cool, and gave her a fuck she’ll be hard pressed to forget – but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her: The sex isn’t that great and neither is she. At this point she’s no different than any other girl I’ve put into my bed who’s spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn’t any better than me, and I’m not a better person for fucking her. It doesn’t make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.
In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities. In my mind I had painted her out to be this perfect angel – but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She was so attractive to me because she seemed out of reach, but now that I’ve had a taste I know it’s nothing special.
This is a good example of having the ONEitis ideal disillusioned for a guy. When PUA gurus tell you to think of a hot girl like she’s just another girl that mental state comes from replicating this disillusionment. Roissy had an excellent maxim in The 16 Commandments of Poon about this:
X. Ignore her beauty
The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire.…
Roissy even goes on to suggest guys stop using terms like ‘hot’ or ‘cute’ when referring to women (as well as to avoid complimenting women on their looks if you’re not sleeping with her) in order to put your head out of the conditioning that led to your idealization of what will become a ONEitis woman. Again, the idea is to come to the disillusionment state Bitter Truth is outlining here before you make an approach and before you move into any possibility of becoming monogamous with a girl who’s representative of an idealization.
Another way I was misleading myself is that I was using my ONEitis for validation – “If I can fuck this 10 then obviously I’m the perfect chad that I’ve always wanted to become.” I was looking for acceptance through someone else’s eyes, but when I finally got it – it didn’t change who I was as a person. Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous – but it doesn’t make you a better person.
I’ve covered the idea of men using sex for validation before, so I wont belabor it now. However, I will add that it is part of Blue Pill conditioning’s goal that men internalize the idea that their sexual imperative is inherently bad and, by a feminine-primary context, incorrect. Part of making men believe this is inculcating the idea that men seek to build their egos and their status up by having sex in popular culture. Part of this comes from the goal-centered nature of men being the sexual performers for women’s acceptance – further reinforced in a fem-centric social order – but beyond this, the sex-for-affirmation narrative is meant to diminish the legitimacy of men’s sexual strategies in favor of women’s socially correct sexual strategy (Hypergamy).
I hear and read even well-meaning Red Pill men who still promote this idea while tossing out “atta girls” for women aping men’s sexual imperatives themselves. The giveaway here is in Bitter Truth’s referring to his not ‘feeling like a better person’ for having banged his Dream Girl. His anticipation was that he would ‘be a better person’ for having been approved for, and consolidating on, sex with his ONEitis. Again, this comes back to the disillusionment I mention above, but it’s also the result of his being conditioned to believe that ‘all men have sex to build their egos, their status, and feel good about themselves’.
Feminine-primary society seeks to diminish men’s sexual agency, and the primary way of doing this is to turn it into a pathology. We see this all the time with regards to how feminism and the Feminine Imperative obfuscate and redefine conventional masculinity to fit its convenience. But with regards to men’s sexual imperatives, their strategy must be made a sickness or an ego flaw when they pursue it.
I’ve read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They’re usually written about the girl we can’t have, or the girl that’s out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can’t have them. Sometimes if we never see what she’s like up close, we’ll never be able to see through our ONEitis tinted lenses we’re viewing her with. She is just another girl. She’s not perfect, I just refused to see her as she really is. The only thing special about her is her looks – and she really doesn’t bring anything into my life except another hole to fill. The morning after her phone was blown up with messages from beta orbiters telling her good morning and asking her how her night was (great thanks to me, and thanks for asking). These guys were idolizing her the same way I was by putting this girl on a pedestal and refusing to see her as an equal (or less). They’re wasting their time. They don’t really know this girl, they just want the fantasy figure they’ve painted inside their minds.
This is a good observation, but the thing is that this ‘celebrity’ Dream Girl isn’t something they’ve painted in their heads of their own volition. Women’s Beta Orbiters are a persistent fact over generations now because it’s what they’ve been bred and raised to be. To be sure, most willingly create their own idealizations, but the seed is already there for them to water.
There’s an interesting paradox about this disillusionment. On one hand there is a certain emotional satisfaction that comes from believing in that Dream Girl ideal. It’s what inspires men to achievement, self-improvement and many great creative endeavors. But the idealization can become a trap. It becomes a comfort to believe in that Blue Pill Disney-wishes-can-come-true fantasy, and that fantasy transforms into a sweet vindication when a Blue Pill guy finally gets his Dream Girl. At that point his investment in that ideal girl is just as important as his capacity to sustain that relationship in a Blue Pill context.
These are the guys who get gobsmacked when their Dream Girl leaves them once they’ve determined that he’s not the Alpha dominant guy he’s sold himself as. Now, not only is he dealing with losing “the best girl he’s ever gotten”, he’s also confronting the truth that his Blue Pill conditioning and the ideals it’s bred into him have been false and a source of his own self-deception. Losing that ONEitis girl is compounded by his losing faith in his Blue Pill world.
So if you have a ONEitis you’re fantasizing over right now, take a quick moment and consider that she’s just a normal girl with above average looks (or just really good at putting on makeup). She has flaws and imperfections – you just haven’t known her long enough for them to come out, or you’re refusing to see them. Literally the only reason I wanted this girl was because of something that was completely irrelevant to who she is as a person – good genetics. She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl. She’s not perfect and makes dumb choices. She’s just looking for her Chad – just like every other girl. “We see the world (girl), not as it (she) is, but as we are.”
Edit: I would like to stress the importance of spinning plates and having options. It has helped me greatly. Not only for the abundance mentality, but being able to compare her to my other plates has helped me put things into perspective – but having plates didn’t prevent me from developing ONEitis in this circumstance.
I did a fun post a while back called Show and Tell where I compared the pictures of made up and non-made up porn stars to illustrate the fantasy image men hold with the real-life ‘smell her farts’ reality of women. Most Blue Pill men will tell you that their idealizations are about the girl underneath all the make up. This is the idealization they are taught to believe is acceptable for women because it absolves women of having to qualify in any way for men’s sexually strategic approval. Holding standards for a woman’s looks, her weight or how she presents herself will always be conflated with sexual objectification of women. But when a Blue Pill guy finds his Unicorn she almost always qualifies for that status because of “who she really is”.
While it’s all well and good to keep a realistic perspective of a woman’s presentation, part of Blue Pill conditioning is promoting the idea that the women men ought to pedestalize should base that idealization on intrinsic rather than extrinsic factors. You will find that some of the most pathetic guys with ONEitis will often pine over some of the least physically attractive women. I’ve stood in wonderment over the weeping and gnashing of teeth Blue Pill guys will display over women whom they exceed in SMV by as much as 2 points.
That’s the ‘real’ ONEitis; when a guy who you know could easily do leagues better than his ONEitis girlfriend in the SMP is bawling over her, head in hands, because she’s his ‘One’. Looking at this from the outside we think ‘what the fuck man?’ and try to deductively reason with him about how much better he can do, but what we don’t wrap our heads around is that this guy was conditioned since his earliest years to believe that his ‘snowflake’ is unique in her intrinsic qualities.
Yes, there are guys who blow themselves up over HB 9s that they fantasize over obsessively, but for the vast majority of men (that is to say the Beta 80% of them) this fantasy remains just that, a fantasy. In fact, according to the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts most men reserve their sexual fantasies, and consciously limit their extent, for sexual encounters with women whom they believe are ‘attainable’ to them. This is one explanation for the rise in the popularity of amateur porn, but also, it’s because most men want to fantasize over what they believe might be possible for them to actualize.
I would argue that for most guys with ONEitis this comes as a result of their comparing what they believe their SMV is with the grossly over-inflated SMV value most average women apply to themselves. On average, and with the aid of connectivity and social media, most women presume their SMV value is greatly above that of men. This perception them filters down to the average guy and now you can understand why guys believe that their much lower SMV girlfriends are “the best girl they’ll ever get.”
[…] Disassembling ONEitis […]
“Because the feminine is the ‘correct’ context in which men are raised, the natural, deductive, response with regard to intimacy is to place girls and women on the proverbial pedestal. I mentioned this dynamic a couple of posts ago, but the pedestal Blue Pill men refer to is a personal part of a much larger social pedestal upon which men are taught to put women on socially. The larger whole of Blue Pill conditioned society will later blame this pedestalization on individual men – being told their insecurities are due to their own deficits, a lack of confidence or a… Read more »
The Soulmate myth dovetails into this very nicely in the Disneyfied brainwashing, and Soulmate leads right into Oneitis. We all know in reality, for any given man there’s more than one woman that would be good enough, probably far more than one even for an average man. Letting the ideal, the perfect, be the enemy of the good enough is something that men are taught subliminally. I wonder if men raised by single mothers / divorcees are more prone to Oneitis? For sure a man who had a sister or two or three close in age shouldn’t be quite so… Read more »
Even without social media most Western would act as if their shit dont stink.
Governments manufacture as many Blue pill guys as possible, as they are the pack mules of society.
Most western *women
Lack of any masculine role model. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OgzLmpYOOk “I’ve covered the idea of men using sex for validation before, so I wont belabor it now. However, I will add that it is part of Blue Pill conditioning’s goal that men internalize the idea that their sexual imperative is inherently bad and, by a feminine-primary context, incorrect. Part of making men believe this is inculcating the idea that men seek to build their egos and their status up by having sex in popular culture. Part of this comes from the goal-centered nature of men being the sexual performers for women’s acceptance –… Read more »
You know, oneitis is real.
Tic for tac, truth hidden under layers of self disgust, real.
Prevention greater than cure, far easier.
Realization of worth more than monetary gains…..
All been there if you’ve been at it long enough, some more than once
@Rollo Congratulations in your professional sphere. After all I’ve read of your essays, I actually neglected one of the most important series for a couple of reasons. Plate theory came up in context of a red pill friend recently and I had glanced over it way back two years ago and thought: “Sounds legit to me”. I recently reread it in context of my buddies logistics and got a whole new meaning. My personal situ is quite unique as to be apex, and I have always been able to spin virtual plates. And am totally comfortable with virtual plates in… Read more »
Rollo – typo in last sentence:
This perception them filters down to the average guy and now you can understand why guys believe that their much lower SMB girlfriends are “the best girl they’ll ever get.”
That has to be SMV, don’t go creating let another three-letter term on us, puh-lease.
If considering male sex seeking as ego boosting is the view of the femenine imperative, which is the Red Pill view of sex seeking for men?
I just wanted to say that the oneitis phenomenon is absolutely real and can be utterly devastating for some guys if the “dream girl”, the “ideal girl”, the one that you are attracted to big time, fails to develop into something more. Certain girls have the ability to literally cause young males to become mindless. Their physical beauty and sometimes their scent have the ability to overwhelm to the point that a guy loses all of his normal ways of interacting. I remember how one girl who liked me and let it be known she liked me, literally caused me… Read more »
” . . . three-letter term . . .”
10 points to Gryff . . . er, AR.
“If considering male sex seeking as ego boosting is the view of the femenine imperative, which is the Red Pill view of sex seeking for men? Umm, is that a trick question? Or merely a stupid question? Get laid is the answer.But more precisely: To have your own masculine sexual strategy that has real power to determine the outcome you desire. Whatever that may be. It’s descriptive, not prescriptive. You be you. Survey answered by Red Pill author Franco in “Manual of Seduction”: “In words, actions and omissions I speak, move and behave in such a way that I never… Read more »
“…..which is the Red Pill view of sex seeking for men?” On the other hand you can go: Stoically Optimistic. Which I’m sure KFG would approve of. Cue the Eagles and “Peaceful Easy Feeling”. I like the way sparkling earrings lay Against your skin so brown And I want to sleep with you in the desert night With a million stars all around I got a peaceful easy feelin’ And I know you won’t let me down ‘Cause I’m already standin’ On the ground And I found out a long time ago What a woman can do to your soul… Read more »
My oneitis, the one that led me here was a very dangerous combination for me. She was my physical ideal, petite but with stunning curves, great hair, teeth, skin like silk, stunning face/smile and dimples! Then I found out she had several “Unicorn ” qualities. No social media presence whatsoever!!! Zero tattoos, n count of 2? Married at 18 for 17 years and divorced because hubby had a long affair with his Pa. While on a date she would ask permission to respond to calls or go to the bathroom. She was the most femenine woman I’ve ever dated. I… Read more »
13 years ago when I was 17 I was beyond obssessed with this blonde beautiful girl. I’ve been crazy about her during two years and she never knew the way I felt. She seemed so out of my reach. Yes, in those two years I idealized her so much that no another girl couldn’t even compare. The infatuation I felt back then was probably one of the strongest emotions I ever felt. Long story short despite my inexperience I ended dating this girl and to make it better she was virgin. I don’t know why but after having her it… Read more »
Congrats Rollo, and I think you excell at these kind of every day pitfalls men face dusscusion. As we all know, chicks crave being some dudes oneitis… then despies him for falling in love with a dumb cunt like herself. Despite their bluffs women know they dont offer much so any guy who settles for her cant be much. In practical terms I don’t think a guy should consider a mognomy/ LTR until he’s banged a couple hundred bitches. Kind of hard to do the oneitis thing once you’ve banged enough of them, seen all their bullshit and can predict… Read more »
@ Rollo: I hate that picture Rollo. I am breaking down every damn pedestal that I created in my head and where I put these creatures on top who deserve no love or attention from me. Thanks for the slap in the face Rollo, it was much needed. I wish I had a strong father figure who slapped me out of this trance long before. No disrespect to my Dad, he is a good man (a beta drone himself), how could he have saved me. I now see I was programmed to become this “captain save a hoe”. I helped… Read more »
Learn to be the bad boy
It ain’t that hard to pull off
Excellent article. One of Rollo’s strong points is his ability to deliver compassion and utilitarian value to men through his dispassionate, accurate, written observation.
It is critically important to attain this internal locus of control that he shares.
That internal locus of control is the key to preventing, surmounting, and extinguishing enthrallment with illusions fostered by external influence, particularly one as pervasive and inherent as the social culture into which a man is born.
Read this article well, and consider it deeply.
Full understanding of it will bear you immense value in life.
As always, Rollo writes some good, true points. Others, not so good. But always good to read. The fact remains: not every woman is a power/money hungry whore. Just 90% of them 😛 The same way that 90% of men are spineless Betas without character or will, who will spend their lives trying to find validation in power, money or females. Not everyone can handle the truth. It’s a fact that not all men have the stamina or inner strength to be Alphas. They can fake it, but they can’t make it. And a woman ALWAYS knows if a guy… Read more »
@Rollo, Roissey once posted a picture of how guys can get over their oneitis. It was some picture of the inside of a woman’s vagina while she was on her period. The picture was a bloody mess (pun intended). But the point is clear. Your special snowflake is human. She also takes a big shit every day, just like the rest of us males. So: Guy: “Man she’s beautiful. She’s got to be a 10. I should approach her. No, I couldn’t do that. She’s out of my —” Inner Alpha: “Dude, she probably took a big shit this morning,… Read more »
A little postcard from the edge by Camille Paglia on Lena Dunham. Quite a take-down and very well done. Enjoy.
Being a Man implies that you have to face the cold, harsh reality: you only have a 1/10 chance of finding an honest woman. The odds are not great. A Man has to accept that perhaps he will have to spend his entire life without finding a woman worthy of his time and affection……… The solution seems to be simple indeed: be a Man. Independant. A Man knows how to live and feed himself. A Man only gives his time and attention to those who are worthy of it. A Man knows how to really love those who love him… Read more »
What’s my little sister doing in that billboard pic at the top? (She made the veil ribbon the model is holding, covering her Wonka-vision) But I gotta tell ya: both this and the last posts rag on some of the PUA guys for their purplish Wonka-juice hue. Remedial reminder #72: most guys who get into PUA – including the instructors and founding fodders like Mysery and Neil Strauss Polka only used their discoveries and techniques to land The One and quit. I can relax and hang it up. Don’t have to perform no more, etc. But the performance never stops,… Read more »
Instead of telling a girl she looks “hot” or even “cute” I say: “You look interesting”. “You have that edgy look”….”You look like trouble…” These are the kinds of negs that keep a girl on edge. But game also helps to put some distance into my interactions so I don’t get obsessed or “oneitis”. It is like an addiction because hope is an addiction…it’s easier to hope than face reality which is what the Red Pill forces you to do. It takes discipline: three dates or meet ups, if I don’t get a girl returning my texts twice I usually… Read more »
” . . . three-letter term . . .”
10 points to Gryff . . . er, AR.
I bet that Rollo had a four-letter term about that.
help me fellas! I’m in trouble! of the 5 plates I’m spinning, 2 of them have decided to leave my world… and i have one-itis for both of them. lol.
the other 3 are still in heavy rotation but idk if i can carry on with life without the other 2.
what is a single, employed, healthy, child-free man supposed to do in this horrible place in life?
*don’t take women that seriously guys. lol.
Seems like as much a (female) cautionary tale for the one-trick-pony “I look good with makeup and have a vagina” show as a cautionary “oneitis” brief. See Scott Adam’s blog post about his girlfriend and her “talent stack”. Okay, here is a brilliant, brilliant man. And he has just made a post about his girlfriends oh, so many talents. Not just looks..no, no…she knows about makeup! And…she can…pose! She poses really good! And so forth. He’s a goner. Short version, she’s not a one trick pony show. That woman knows how to fuck (and can probably keep him relatively well… Read more »
Confidence is the absence of uncertainty.
Be aware of any challenges she throws at you, and be willing to turn them into opportunities for escalation.
Before the internet, it was nearly impossible to see the “wizard behind the curtain”, but now one can quickly see hundreds of (before and after makeup) photos of women. I have looked at hundreds of these before and after photos in order to internalize the fact that the women I see everyday are not really as facially attractive as they appear. The invention of cosmetics, thousands of years ago, was really in my opinion, the greatest advance for the females ability to tip the balance of power in their favor. On average a woman is 40% less attractive without makeup.… Read more »
“The invention of cosmetics, thousands of years ago, was really in my opinion, the greatest advance for the females ability to tip the balance of power in their favor. On average a woman is 40% less attractive without makeup.”
People make judgements based on comparison, so cosmetics do not tip the balance of power in women’s favor (men don’t wear cosmetics, unless they are transvestites they aren’t competing with women). Cosmetics give unattractive women an edge that they wouldn’t otherwise have.
@Bobby: I can relate. I just wanted to say that the oneitis phenomenon is absolutely real and can be utterly devastating for some guys if the “dream girl”, the “ideal girl”, the one that you are attracted to big time, fails to develop into something more. She will ALWAYS fail to develop into something more, because we (you, me, plenty of other commenters) have already run her out to the max end of the scale in our minds. There is nowhere to go but down. Some guys are slow learners. In my youth I was able to turn Oneitis into… Read more »
Modern human life disrespects nature’s imperative, survival of the fittest, strongest, smartest and least inhibited. “Civilization” is about preserving all individuals, respecting all individuals; even to the extent of coddling the weak and malformed, to the detriment of the strong and healthy. Ultimately this may not be best for the survival humans. All other species are not subject to this dilemma. All others are purely subject to the “lawlessness” of nature. Based on personal fear and insecurity, “morality” attempts to sell a false trump of natures imperative. “Morality” is at best a con job, its net effect is nothing more… Read more »
She will ALWAYS fail to develop into something more, because we (you, me, plenty of other commenters) have already run her out to the max end of the scale in our minds. There is nowhere to go but down.
I disagree. There is always the option of training a woman to be better…Rollo wrote something about how quality women have to be trained…the Immortal Bard wrote a little something along these lines as well…The Taming of the Shrew
They’re just girls.
Maybe I should trademark that phrase or tattoo it across my upper back like an eastern bloc gangster….
Good stuff Rollo. Guys can never be reminded enough as there are way too many references to Hawt hb9-10’s for my tastes.
@theasdgamer There is always the option of training a woman to be better…Rollo wrote something about how quality women have to be trained…the Immortal Bard wrote a little something along these lines as well…The Taming of the Shrew Of course, if we keep her off the pedestal and don’t get the Oneitis for her. Certainly one can lead a woman higher up the mountain if there’s more to be climbed, but if we mentally start her off at the top of Mt. Everest due to Oneitis, “dream girl”, “ideal girl” – she can climb no higher despite our best efforts.… Read more »
Is there any age cutoff for “They’re just girls” (TM)?
Does the maxim apply equally to girls from 9 to 90? Or is there a point in there where it no longer applies to some old Battleaxe?
Well. There is question for which answer is still in front of me.
You know that first step of every woman except FB is to cut you off from other women.
Almost first question is:
“Do you date other women?”
Does spinning plates role absolve me from lies which are definitely necessary under such circumstances?
There exists point of view that lying to women is not a lie, they do that all the time.
Any comment appreciated.
“On one hand there is a certain emotional satisfaction that comes from believing in that Dream Girl ideal” I understand what you are getting at here. However, in reality this is not emotional satisfaction at all. In fact it is dissatisfaction, because believing in the dream girl is like chasing a mirage. It is the impossible dream. It is believing in and hoping for satisfaction that will never come. Hope is an imposter of satisfaction. All dream girls are ego investments with no return or worse. So, in reality, this belief is not emotional satisfaction, it is DISSATISFATCION. It is… Read more »
“On one hand there is a certain emotional satisfaction that comes from believing in that Dream Girl ideal. It’s what inspires men to achievement, self-improvement and many great creative endeavors.”
I disagree with this. It has been my experience and my observation that dream girl ideals universally, without exception, detract from personal development, improvement and creativity.
“But the idealization can become a trap.”
IT IS ALWAYS A TRAP.
Lost Patrol, I was at someone else’s office party a couple of weeks back. There were 50-something and even 60-something Boomers playing silly kid games, and when it came down to two adult women with college degrees, they were jumping up and down like … a couple of girls. I’ve seen 70 year old Boomer women with PhD’s in science in social situations start to twirl the ends of their hair … like girls…while talking with a younger man. It may take more presence or Game to bring out the girl in a woman over 50. But they are all… Read more »
” .. accepted a very lucrative promo contract for a large entertainment/gaming corporation. It should last me a while and keep me busy in several states this coming year. As if that weren’t enough, I also accepted a principal creative offer ..”
Well done son, and you ‘deserve’ nothing less. Fill yer boots ..
This worrying about women stuff can derail your life, as you have taught me, and I have passed on to my boys. Looking forward to a rip-roaring 2017, for you, and all of us.
“Guys can never be reminded enough as there are way too many references to Hawt hb9-10’s for my tastes.”
So Blaximus, you would prefer they be referenced as “females attractive enough to pass the boner test?” Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, bro. Just sayin’ the 1-10 scale has its uses for contrast and comparison.
My BONEitits! I never cured it!!!!!!
My one regret is…….having……..BONEitis………ehhhhhhcchhchh…
The root of ONE-itis is the suppression of the most natural male instinct of all: to fuck a variety of women. There is a huge stereotype that men’s innate sexual desires are wrong. And that men wanting to fuck a lot of women means that men are disgusting, men are pigs, etc. It makes about as much sense as calling sperm “disgusting” because they’re all trying to fertilize the egg. Those disgusting, piggish sperm cells. How dare they! It’s what we’re wired for. It is more clear to me than ever how women are also wired to lock down men… Read more »
As Rollo’s been writing about for years: The main issue is men’s sexual impulses are demonized. Both men and women didn’t choose to have these impulses. They’ve been hard-wired through evolution over thousands of years. The modern problem is that cultural ideologies have come to believe that the feminine sexual imperative is morally correct, and the male sexual imperative is morally wrong. Adding those biases into the mix creates a world of hurt. And generations of hopelessly confused men who don’t even know who they are on even the most basic, primal level. It’s pretty strange for me, being a… Read more »
Hello Rollo. Thanks for another great article. I have a quick question and maybe you have covered this before but here it goes: Assuming that there are more and more men that are getting exposure to the FI (largely due to your work and that of others like Roissy etc) do you believe that there is danger of these men semi-pedestalizing women simply for the reason that they are not a complete mess? I have a very good friend who,as you mentioned in your article, has settled for a girl whose looks are on the 6 level but he has… Read more »
Sorry meant less than 3 months not <3 months
Heres the deal, men over value wome because they under value themselves.
No matter how hot she is, the best she can be is a place to stick your dick.
She only goes down hill from there.
Social trend spotted.
@Cicero, I had a friend, we’ll call him Sean, who was in the same situation your buddy’s in. It was about 12 years ago, but the guy had been in a 4 year LTR with this cow of a girl who he just couldn’t bring himself to disconnect from because she was his ONEitis. She was maybe a 3-4 while he was around a 7 in SMV and he was just starting to hit his stride professionally. She was very obsessed with him because she knew the SMV imbalance, but her insecurity was manifested in her turning the tables on… Read more »
Cicero I have known this girl for 3 years (same college) and she is indeed a very caring and kind person but it just breaks my heart to see him with her. He is my best friend and he seems happy with her (she idolizes him btw. he acts alpha around her and she adores him but still…) but if he ends up with her I think that he will regret it later on.Look, I also don’t want to see this girl hurt because she will probably never get a guy like him to love her again, but I think… Read more »
ABD (Always Be Discerning) –
Always in all ways… Just look at any woman and you can pick out 4-5 things right off the bat that you can be discerning about…
The discerning frame puts you on the front foot and her on the back foot from the get go.
Hmmmm…. let me see here… which one of you?
@Rollo Thank you so much Rollo. Yes probably he will get over her once he fucks a hot chick. But I just want to make him realize that finding a girl that “is decent” should not be his priority. If he does great but if not he has other much better things to spend his time on. @Sentient Yes my friend seems happy but I am afraid it is just because he thinks that this is the best he can get in terms of personality. He had short flings with two really hot (8 and 8.5) chicks but they were… Read more »
I don’t find most of those girls hot, they are just skinny and mostly without feminine curves, most of the faces are nothing special.
The only one I really like is top row 2nd from right and even she is a bit too skinny.
Why would I want to fuck a girl with the body of a 12 year old boy?
“It took my (and some friends) unplugging him to see what she was doing. He resisted of course, but her nagging and craziness woke him up to the point where we finally got him laid with a girl who was an 8 and that was it. He was done with her, but predictably he gets ONEitis for the 8 and the cycle repeated itself.”
That lucky schmuck. He gets to fuck bitches AND see them as more than Jizzrags with agendas of their own.
You had one fucking job.
Unplugging, triage,…you know the rest.
I’ve seen 70 year old Boomer women with PhD’s in science in social situations start to twirl the ends of their hair … like girls…while talking with a younger man.
Yikes. That is a disturbing image, but – yeah.
Effective cureall for oneitis: just imagine her taking a poop.
Imagine the tarantual hairs around the rim of her blowhole. Imagine her farting and making unpleasant noises, hotboxing the bathroom and then running out of toilet paper. This will make her into a flesh and blood human being once again instead of some heavenly creature.
Note: this doesn’t work if you’re actually turned on by that stuff.
Cicero it’s been proven time and again you can’t unplug or help friends unplug. They have to want it and then do the heavy lifting themselves. Telling your friend he has options is a band aid. He may or may or listen. Oneitis is a form of denial. It’s denial you can do better. It’s denial you have options.its denial your life is pre determined rather than you being the architect of your destiny. Don’t be codependent. Seeing your friend struggle is his struggle. Don’t watch if you can’t take it. He needs to figure it out on his own.… Read more »
“I don’t find most of those girls hot, they are just skinny and mostly without feminine curves, most of the faces are nothing special.” disassembling oneitis is one thing, but let’s not get carried away here. I would plow every single one of them, left to right, top to bottom and I bet I could get it done in one day. “Why would I want to fuck a girl with the body of a 12 year old boy?” uh, look closely. they all have hips and tits and not one of them is even close to too skinny. odds are… Read more »
@ Lost Patrol There’s no cutoff for women regarding advanced age. Their nature stays with them until they cease breathing. Time forces some of them to become disillusioned and even embittered, but save for some of the hormonal effects of menopause, their base programming remains intact. They mostly still have a drive to pull off the same girly stuff that they always have in their youth, but the problem is that pretty much no one cares once they past the expiration date. This didn’t used to be that much of a problem before feminism turned everything on it’s head. A… Read more »
Every time I hear the “girl with the body of a 12 year old boy?” bullshit I think some fat chick is trying to sell me on banging one of Blax’s battle cruisers
Maybe I’ll take a pier head jump.
@Blaximus I’m going to watch for this more carefully in future. Previously when you remarked “they’re just girls”, I had in mind basically young women. I fell over the “girl” tripwire, but when I think about it I can see where you and some others are coming from. Given that there are always women to deal with, some of them old, even if it’s just a warhorse at the department of motor vehicles; keeping in mind there is a girl in there somewhere can work to a man’s advantage. They mostly still have a drive to pull off the same… Read more »
damned fancy typing – cut and paste to above post: That’s very well said. I saw this in action recently. I was working with a friend, a real old timer, but still spry and sharp enough to get things done. We walked around a corner at this venue and came upon a passel of females. It was his wife (also spry and sharp), some of his daughters, granddaughters, and great granddaughter (a baby). His wife was leading the herd, happy as could be, and the younger ones were deferring to her. He’s proudly pointing all this out to me as… Read more »
With the number of men that at one time or another suffer from oneitis, I wonder how much is learned and how much is biology?
Is there an evolutionary-psychological benefit oneitis? Something like pair-bonding for raising children.
High school and change
Thanks red pill
@ fleezer sfc ton
If you want to see what I consider a top tier woman check out JENNIFER BURCIAGA.
Now that is some top shelf pussy.
Don’t get me wrong I would fuck
Most of the girls in sentients pic for sport but body wise they are too skinny for my taste.
I just like bigger tits and rounder asses than those girls have, they look like middle distance runners I don’t find that look aesthetically appealing and the one on the bottom left is a fucking moose.
That’s just the difference in preference among guys between the “thin white girl with a pretty face” guys, on the one hand, and the “curvy T&A” guys, on the other hand. Sasha Grey vs Kim K. Different strokes for different folks, and obviously each type with loads of male fans, yet we still trip over each other disagreeing with each other’s preferences for some reason.
It is good to be reminded of this, because it happens to the best of us. We can all remember at least two or three times when we have done this in a big way in our lifetimes, hopefully each time being less severe. But we can catch ourselves doing this on a smaller scale much often; because, yes, it is programmed so deep into our Psyche that we do this automatically. My attitude is probably now more a take it or leave it attitude. I would like to find the right situation (emphasis on the word “situation”) that would… Read more »
Oh yes there certainly is. There in fact is this one guy, Xslpat, who is obsessed with the idea. Also, how a civilization deals with hypergamy.
Lost, I don’t want to speak for Blax’s but when I say girls are just girls it means, in part, they are all just girls. Regardless of age. I enjoy talking to old folks, 80 year old girls blush and giggle just like 16 year old girls. My 9 year nice loves it when you pick her up and twirl her around, so does the cougar. Fact is, regardless of chronological age, all women are between 9-16 years old. It’s why teasing them with grade school games works. It’s why picking them up and twirling them around works, pet names… Read more »
Sorry for the off topic, and if it has been discussed before, but i had to post here as i haven’t found any contact mail.
This story seems VERY suspicious to me. Can you provide your insight on it? Thanks.
i didn’t know how to edit the comment above so this is the addition: the ”mother” lives in loveland… ahahaha, oh, the irony..
@ fleezer et al
Apologies pictures of my oneitis can be seen by googling Jessica BURCIAGA not Jennifer.
@ Colby Since I’ve been reading in the sphere I read a lot of praises thrown at the hb8-10 designated chicks. I don’t have an issue with the HB scale when used for descriptive purposes, but guys need to be very wary of pedestalizing beautiful women as though they are in somenway special. Men like what they like in women and that is how it should be. Don’t ever let anyone set standards for you. One man’s hb6 is another’s hb8. I had an acquaintance once who dated the meanest, spoiled bitch I’d ever seen in my life. She was… Read more »
“Unplugging, triage,…you know the rest.” “Cicero it’s been proven time and again you can’t unplug or help friends unplug. They have to want it and then do the heavy lifting themselves.” Months ago was out with x and his friend and friend’s gf. Friend was treacle fawning over gf. I told friend to tone it down, he was really killing my buzz. Friend got defensive so I started pulling PUA crap on gf. It was funny. She was laughing, he was bewildered. At any rate, X and I discussed social trends and he divulged he knocked up a woman much… Read more »
I think the light bulb came on. During the blue pill conditioning of my youth an old woman wasn’t anything like a girl, it was somebody that could boss you around and men would back her up on it. Just one more useless notion of the past to ride away from.
“Fact is, regardless of chronological age, all women are between 9-16 years old. It’s why teasing them with grade school games works. ”
Even when the mother/daughter are together, with your rakish charm, it works. They both respond correctly: Mom’s smiley, amused and daughter’s taken aback, wowed, curious. It ain’t all that hard to pry them off smart phone FB.
Girls talk…so, be aware that if you’re in a LTR and are flirting with girls on FB, those girls with whom you are flirting may let your SO see your shit.
Not usless Lost but it should fade as you age
My grandmother was a big deal when I was a child but as I grew she lost her command authority and took a different role in my life.
Pretty sure that’s how it’s supposed to work in a healthy society
I have never been on Facebook, being a grown ass heterosexual man and all
As usual I haven’t had time to read the comments much yet. I’ll throw my two cents in. As Rollo describes, the real problem with “OneItis” is what it means to us as men. What women with them mean to our identities and egos and sense of social status and how it emerges in our minds and behaviors is what we need to get. Obsessing on one idealized woman, particularly one who is “out of your league” is the end result of a lot of social conditioning. Just consider how men are asked to sublimate their desires across society. While… Read more »
Oh right, of course Rollo. After a while this all just blurs together…But it’s a telling phenomena. The other troubling aspect is how many men seek out domination. If you aren’t into it, you likely don’t get just how much it is about degrading the man. Belittling. Taking his money overtly, abusing him financially, lol. Like how fucked in the head does a man have to be that this is what he seeks out? Me? If I’m gonna pay, I’ll take two petite hottie spinners please. Not some female goon who will hate on me. And all this is just… Read more »
@Rollo: While your argument for FI conditioning is strong I’d throw in that ONEitis is a female’s ability is “freeze” a male amongst the fight-flight-freeze possibilities. Being frozen he’s easily accessed for harvesting genes or labor or both. I.e. don’t be prey; they’re just girls.
Good to see you again. Glad to see you are fixing your shit. It’s obvious.
Anyone here ever heard of “domming from the bottom” or “subbing from the top”? This is what many supposedly “submissive” women are actually doing.
Sounds like churchian shit…churchian women are often the biggest judgmental Entitled Princesses ™ of all…they play “Hide the Vagina” better than any…don’t get in a LTR with any of them.
Yeah. I mean when they’re peering down at their phones and all. Heh. No Facebook for me.
LostPatrol As he gets near the group they all turn toward him and sort of pay homage. It was quite the thing to see in the year 2016, but really made your point about a woman’s sense of identity and purpose. This is Patriarchy 2.0 in situ… also note that girls being girls always in all ways… that they will act like girls even among family, i.e. they will respond to alpha and they will respond to herd instincts, so when one of the daughters is showing attention to and getting attention from the Alpha dad, the others are compelled… Read more »
Lol. Rollo cracks me up.
This is why I have to keep re-reading his stuff.
@SJB, all, I think it’s an indictment of modern women’s entitlement syndrome that even though they’re well aware (on some level) of how their sexual strategy is based on operant conditioning – reward, reinforcement, punishment, etc. for desired behavior – they still feel that they shouldn’t have to even bother with the effort of it. By that I mean there’s increasingly this sense of entitlement to having their Hypergamy optimized by men without any thought to the reward pellet (sex) for pushing the lever (desired behavior). I see this in both the Deadbedrooms and MRP subs a lot. If you… Read more »
Rollo, was that post number 69?
all, I think it’s an indictment of modern women’s entitlement syndrome that even though they’re well aware (on some level) of how their sexual strategy is based on operant conditioning – reward, reinforcement, punishment, etc. for desired behavior – they still feel that they shouldn’t have to even bother with the effort of it.
Isn’t it also an indictment of Blue Pill men (some are alphas and a lot are betas) that they will actively White Knight for women’s entitlement?
Lol, fuck you and your facebook, too. FB is useful when your family lives here, there, and yon…like in Europe or Asia. Timezone problems and cost constraint.
Thanks Rollo. I believe the word “ONEitis” is your creation. It is a great word. Thanks. I don’t know if it is only qualifies for a situation where a man makes a decision to go for the one woman to the exclusion of all others. But in my experience all the feelings that a man can have for one woman, he will certainly find one or more other women somewhere out there who can push the same buttons. Excuse me but I might sound rather vulgar with this one: ONEitis: I think what defines this is strong sexual attraction. I… Read more »
@Scribbler: “Fuck you, KFG…”
Think nothing of it. It was my pleasure.
The Chateau has an awesome post today, btw. Link to a paper comparing divorce rates of men v. women who become top execs.