Softek has had the almost predictable move for The Talk from his current (I believe BPD) “girlfriend”. Just to clarify a few things here before I dig into Softek’s questions I think it’s necessary to define what “The Talk” is. Generally, there comes a point with a particular plate you’re spinning when a woman believe it’s within her feminine entitlements to force the issue of exclusivity upon a man. I’ve written several foundational posts about non-exclusivity and the reasons men should opt for (Plate Theory) and I’ve also covered The Talk from practical considerations in Ultimatums, but feminized pop-culture has made what essentially amounts to a Frame shift into a life event.
The Talk is literally the defining of a relationship, and in a feminine-primary social order that defining power is presumed to always reside with a woman according to her “needs”. I should also add here that as men have become more feminized and uncomfortable in describing themselves as masculine, the feminine security need for a confirmed relationship status puts these men into the feminine role of initiating The Talk themselves. There are few grosser indications of a Beta / Blue Pill mental point of origin and a self-confirming lack of options than a man negotiating for exclusivity by formalizing it with a feminized relationship event.
What does Negotiated Desire mean for a relationship when a woman has resorted to it?
They’re powerless, yes, they feel helpless, yes.
But what does this mean for their perception of the man they’re trying to Negotiate for?
Ultimatums are declarations of powerlessness. Let me be clear before I get the standard, “you need to be a Man and set boundaries with her” retort – as with all things for men, it is better to demonstrate than to explicate.
However, in this instance, we have a woman issuing the ultimatum and the sense of powerlessness comes into contrast. The very act of having The Talk is a negotiation of desire. The medium is the message. We can separate a woman’s entitlement to an “official” relationship with it, but the fact that a formal talk would be necessary to legitimize it is the message she ignores or hopes you won’t recognize – it’s a negotiated obligation, not a genuine desire.
Making a euphemism out of this ultimatum by calling The Talk and dancing around the want for a long term security is a form of Buffer for women. And as with all Buffers, the intent is to lessen the impact of rejection by preemptively buffering the seriousness of it should it come to that.
There are a few reasons women will move for something like The Talk. First and foremost is the Hypergamic need for certainty. When a woman presses for exclusivity with a man she tips her hand in the Hypergamic scheme of things. In this instance the root message is twofold – she perceives you as high enough value to seek some kind of exclusive permanency and / or she acknowledges (or is beginning to) that her capacity to attract other prospective men is depreciating. Women with greater sexual market options and a commensurate self-impression rarely push for this relationship formality.
Another reason for The Talk is that women, on some level of consciousness, seek to alleviate the competition anxiety that comes with making an emotional investment in a man she perceives is 1-2 steps above her own sexual market value. A passive form of Dread almost certainly plays a role in the prompt to formalize an LTR, however, what’s prompting that Dread can range from an emotional investment based on a genuine desire to the pragmatic necessity to settle on a guy who meets her security needs in contrast to her ability to attract a better prospect.
As women enter the Epiphany Phase the need for a Talk becomes more urgent. As a woman’s attractiveness wanes Hypergamy cannot afford uncertainty or the risk of a loss of emotional investment. This is yet one more reason women tend to opt for dutiful Betas during the Epiphany Phase. Unattached higher SMV men entering their peak SMV phase are less inclined to look for or agree to, exclusivity when they have more available sexual options. Blue Pill men, unused to a sudden interest from women, are usually eager to formalize on exclusivity irrespective of a woman’s sexual history or her necessitous reasonings for exclusivity.
Have they lost respect for him? What is Negotiated Desire, on the woman’s part, indicative of in the relationship?
Again, this is somewhat subjective and depends on the man and woman’s conditions. As I mentioned above, the push for exclusivity on her part is prompted from necessity or Hypergamous anxiety. Genuine desire cannot be negotiated and it’s important to consider that this is equally true when it’s women doing the negotiating. Blue Pill conditioning has acculturated generations of women to expect that a man formalizing monogamy with her is not just her right, but that men will understand and accept that it is “the right thing to do” if he want’s to be accounted as a man.
We have an entire fem-centric world of women and men reinforcing this male-shame narrative in every branch of society – from church to popular media, you’re not a “man” if you so much as question your role in an exclusivity founded on a woman’s correct need of it.
This presents an interesting conflict for women. Women want men who just get it, but the necessity of petitioning a man for The Talk in the first place conflicts with the organicness of his understanding of women. Pushy, loud-mouthed, outspoken women raised on the Fempowerment narrative are often the most insecure in respect to this conflict. On one hand the narrative has bred her to expect a man to be her-equal-who’s-better-than-her-equal and ‘man up’ and formalize on his own. On the other hand, when he doesn’t, the anxiety that comes with the countdown to her Wall pushes her to force his compliance or to provide her own security for herself.
Now imagine this scenario with an Empowered Woman® dealing with the Beta in Waiting who represents her only viable LTR option. Yes, she may have lost respect for him, but her situation frustratingly compels her to force the issue of exclusivity with a guy who doesn’t get it.
Is it a sign of a failed relationship?
I don’t have any other experience, so my base assumption is that ALL WOMEN will push for commitment eventually, and want to pressure you into it, and ‘make things official.’
What does this mean for the health of the relationship?
Should it just end?
The necessity of a Talk in the first place puts this assessment into doubt. Women who don’t eventually push for commitment understand the nature of that relationship is temporary or there really is no potential, so there won’t be a Talk. The problem I see with making this formality something overtly public is that it has the opposite effect of qualifying what may be genuine desire without it. When The Talk enters into out popular consciousness it then becomes yet another ‘typical male’ fault.
Men become infantilized for not understanding women’s correctness in wanting a formalized declaration of monogamy. Once that infantilization becomes the accepted truism for women, what might’ve been a very good pairing of a man and a woman based on an organic genuine desire, turns into an obligation on his part to convince her that he’s not a child by living above that truism. The relationship becomes less about the genuine interest between the two and more about satisfying the “official” nature of it among men and women plugged into a Blue Pill social conditioning.
Should it just end at that point? If a man’s first act of a coerced monogamy is his capitulating to what amounts to a socially mandated ultimatum I think the woman he surrendered to will subconsciously lose the respect she had for him while they were “undocumented lovers.”
In a case like Rollo’s, or any other married guy here:
How did it happen? How do you get married without Negotiated Desire?
Is it IMPOSSIBLE, and it’s just a matter of minimizing the degree of Negotiation?
Same with having an official girlfriend. When you COMMIT even on the level of a ‘steady girlfriend,’ isn’t that Negotiating Desire by default?
I get this question a lot and for a lot of hard-line guys, even the best thing a married man (or LTR man) can say will always sound like he found a unicorn. You have to understand in my case the last woman I’d been in a formal LTR with before my wife was the BPD I described in the Two Guitars post. I had no intention of getting into an LTR at the time and for a long while, Mrs. Tomassi was one of four plates I was spinning at the time. All of this was above board and we dated non-exclusively for the first 3-4 months.
I began with a rock solid Frame at this time not because I was focused on establishing it, but because I had three other women in rotation and I was entirely indifferent to any idea of exclusivity with any of them. Of those four, Mrs. T was hottest and funnest in and out of bed so I gravitated to seeing her more regularly. I also appreciated her from the new perspective I had in contrast to the psychotic mess my BPD had been. She expected me to be conventionally masculine and I was already filling that role by default because I had a new outlook on women as a result of all that.
We never had a Talk when it came to exclusivity; she simply said that she didn’t like the thought of me banging other women and asked me if she could be my girlfriend. She literally asked to be part of my world during that brief conversation. I’ve had the Frame from the moment we started non-exclusively to where we are now 20 years later.
I’ll say it again, don’t use my example as some model for your own life, but there needs to be an organic flow to how you enter into any LTR.
It is vital to the health of any LTR that a man establish his frame as the basis of their living together before any formal commitment is recognized. As I stated in the beginning, frame will be fluid and conditions will influence the balance, but the overall theme of your relationship needs to be led and molded by you. Even very influential, professional, intellectualizing women still crave the right man to establish his frame in her life. They may fight it bitterly, but ultimately it’s what will make for the best healthy balance she can achieve. There’s a growing undercurrent of mid-life women questioning and regretting their past decisions to remain single into spinsterhood. And for all their late game rationalizations, the one thing they still simply refuse to accept is acknowledging that a man’s frame, the frame their “fierce independence” wouldn’t allow for, was exactly the salve their egos so desperately wants now later in life.
Gentlemen, you will establish frame in any monogamous relationship you have. You will enter her reality or she will enter yours.
On a road trip so I finally have a chance to write a bit! ETA: “Similar behavior can be noticed even with young girls who are bombarded by beta male attention that she doesn’t really develop female game. But, when she comes across a really high SMV man that she wants, she doesn’t know what to do. She’s never learned what it takes to seduce and attract a man. So she finds herself in a limbo, on one side there’s easy access to unwanted attention from betas, and on the other are the few alphas she desperately wants but lacks… Read more »
Question: “Can you name a single TV show or movie on the last 40 years that is NOT blue pill conditioning?” Response: ‘The Ninth Gate, Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, Last Man Standing and Miller’s Crossing all make it. All play the FI upfront as a destructive force in men’s lives.” This is wrong. To respond that films such as fatal attraction and basic instinct are not blue pill is to misunderstand how films and tv work on the mind. Ignore literary or narrative based interpretations. Films and tv are addressed to the subconscious and the subconscious only. If you don’t… Read more »
@IAS
Yup, that’s sufficient to trigger a defensive response.
@Liz
Hi Liz! Tx for the article. Good thing I’m not in the air force lol.
Seriously though, this stuff does take calibration and caution. Note that I advise backing off rather than trying to ‘call her bluff’ to pass a shit test or something. Save that for when there’s report. Usually though assault charges don’t come from just random people.
Nothing is perfectly safe. That’s the world for ya. These accusations are a problem, but it’s easy to see the few cases that make the news and catastrophize.
“Films and tv are addressed to the subconscious and the subconscious only. If you don’t understand that, you don’t understand these media and how they influence you.” I grew up in a TV marketing household. Top executive level of a Fortune 100 company’s broadcast division. I’ve done some work in it myself. Kubrick and Tarkovsky were the masters of directly targeting the subconscious, but luckily for us they were on “our” side. “The subconscious does not care about explanations or excuses or reasons. It only sees associations.” OK. ” . . . in fatal attraction and basic instinct we see… Read more »
I’m kinda torn on this Brock guy and the rape/assault conviction. My problem doesn’t have much to do with whether this knucklehead raped anyone or not, but the sentence handed down by the judge. https://swimswam.com/football-player-imprisoned-false-rape-charges-cites-privilege/ The article above doesn’t really have as much to do with ” race ” as it does with ” privilege”. I know, I know..” privilege ” is being twisted into some kind of liberal hatchet currently, but I’m reffering to the good, old fashioned kind where police and the justice system treat someone of ( supposed..) ” ranking ” in society differently. The Judge should… Read more »
Well, I’m about to run the longest/hardest race of my life so far. In 90+ deg weather, possible thunderstorms as it happens. 😀
Who do you think I am?! I’ll be back when it’s finished.
I never promised exclusivity. I did promise after action reports – so she could compete if she wanted to. Married 33 years. Dated for another 9.
Forge the Sky
June 10th, 2016 at 3:20 pm
Teaching women Alpha Game is difficult. They want power. But to snag an Alpha she has to want him more than any other woman. Which is conventionally deemed powerless. It is a different kind of power.
The LTR is learning. Very slowly.
Test
The lesson being, unless you’re already experienced enough, think through your reply to The Talk (and many other delightful events) beforehand. Women like to spring surprises on you, so be prepared.
@Andy My head (and thoughts) are still not clear because of living life a mile a minute on the other side of the keyboard. But I got a minute so I thought I’d ramble on a bit in regards to your former questions. Blaximus and Fleezer had way better answers than I have. Fleezer had the best in my opinion. He started and maintained Alpha Frame in his 10 year marriage. Blax and Fleez do alpha better than I ever can. So I think their answers trump mine. Keep in mind I entered my marriage with greater beta, lesser Alpha… Read more »
I’ve grown leery of taking rape charges at face value. This time, the lynch mob started screaming about rape and Twin Towers (exquisitely ludicrous, btw) when the actual charge was sexual assault because of fingering. So my guess is what happened was Brock and the chick were terribly drunk and flirting, then when things started to heat up withdrew somewhere private (probably out of the light in the grass by that romantic dumpster). They both lay down, as these things usually proceed. While kissing and caressing his newfound amour, Brock’s anonymous off-ass drunken Juliet falls asleep, which Brock doesn’t notice.… Read more »
Unlikely. I would instead expect the dirt was an accidental side effect of drunken fingering rather than anything deliberate.
Probably the result of a govt. make-work program to go around filling in holes.
After a while of this, the Swedes arrive. Perhaps Brock has sobered up a bit and realized by now that Juliet is not cooing and hoarsely moaning at his touch but is drunkenly snoring away, and perhaps it has even begun to dawn on him how this looks. Or perhaps he’s just trying to figure out how to transport Juliet back to her room so she can sleep it off. But now there are cries of “I say, what’s that fellow doing! There he is! Catch the rapist!”, he bolts, and the rest is history. I’d say his situation was… Read more »
@hollenhund @rollo Oh yeah, full story changes everything lol. She’s a habitual blackout drunk and she and the brock guy were making out a bunch earlier on lol. Yeeeaah. Definitely good to have a reminder. Gotta look into things. Had a friend from high school who was accused of rape a LONG time ago, like a decade or so, and I just instinctively hated him. But then once he lawyered up she backed down. Ended up the girl was just jealous and lied about the whole rape thing. My friend had a long time girlfriend he was with forever, they… Read more »
2 half assed FR’s. I’m still laughing…. Me and my boy head over to the Village for some spicy Jamaican style food and a couple of drinks. Then we were going to head up to Harlem for some dancing at a Salsa club..somewhere up there. So we find a place and it’s semi crowded. Mixed crowd, mixed ages old to young. Nice music playing, great food and drinks. My buddy and I having a few beers and yapping about life in general, and playing catch up. Before we knew what was happening, it was 10:30 pm. The lights dimmed down… Read more »
@YaReally I’ve been reading your articles religiously for a while now and I love your shit. I’m a guy who has pretty severe social anxiety, to the point that I stammer and sputter and feel a pretty deep sense of dread at the thought of talking to people I don’t know. I want to change that, and I want to get much, much better with women, but I don’t know where to start. You have a ton of good advice that I know will help me as I get better at talking to women/other people in general, but I don’t… Read more »
Blax Love it… this is like every time I go out. You illustrate very very key points… if you just hold back a little bit and are not entranced with the pussy.. it will fall into your lap. Cat String Theory rulz!!! Also +100 on the current music thing… I have 4 daughters between 13 and 24… I am down with everything this demo is into (in understanding) and it is a huge advantage over other guys… and great for negging (such shit music)… This is why I say to guys like IAS … be careful… if you are out,… Read more »
@ Sentient I kinda blew my original plan, which was to approach a young chick and see if I could get her interested enough to maybe want to fuck…. without actually fucking her. I didn’t even really get to look around and people watch or anything. It kinda turned into a date of sorts. I spent hours with one pretty chick that pretty much volunteered. Lol. But she was fun and interesting to talk to, so it wasn’t a waste or anything. I’m a sucker for open, blunt and honest communication from a stranger, especially female strangers. But the trick… Read more »
@culum @yareally @quixotic @forge @habd Did a lot today. Best part is at the bottom though lol. Got another asian’s number, but did much better this time. Unfortunately, only here for a short time, so should have pushed for same day lay lol. Just keep getting harder stuff lol, would have aced it if she lived here lol. Still can maybe work things out though. First went to mall. Walked around for maybe 20min or so. Its okay, there were a few girls there. Need to go there later actually, after going to barsand whatnot. Not a great place to… Read more »
@Sentient: I appreciate your warnings.
I don’t drink at least, so the slope is a bit less slippery.
In any case I never had even close to random strangers coming to sit with me like on Blax’s report. But I am also not “out” so often anyway.
Don’t date woman, they have feelings and expect not to date a std ridden douchebag! Don’t do it, ride pussy’s and get herpes!
The fact is, Shanae, women have far more STDs than men do. And why should we care about women’s feelings? lol
@Fop I’m a guy who has pretty severe social anxiety, to the point that I stammer and sputter and feel a pretty deep sense of dread at the thought of talking to people I don’t know. Talk with strangers wherever you go, especially retail clerks. Simple stuff, like commenting about the weather (too much rain = “we need the rain, but it sucks driving in it”, etc.). Maybe 1-2 minutes per person. Make it a habit to talk with retail clerks, waitresses, etc.–people who are outgoing usually enjoy talking with strangers and they often go into retail clerking, waiting tables,… Read more »
@IAS
In any case I never had even close to random strangers coming to sit with me like on Blax’s report. But I am also not “out” so often anyway.
Blax give off “unreserved” subcomms that say “I’m approachable”. I don’t do that, so I’m not approached nearly so often. I still get approached every now and then. Not sure why. I must be giving off DHVs in my subcomms and the pull of those overpowers the push of my “reserved” subcomms and girls who are more likely to take risks (maybe ovulating) are the ones who approach me.
Blax “I kinda blew my original plan, which was to approach a young chick and see if I could get her interested enough to maybe want to fuck…. without actually fucking her.” IDK seems like your plan was working… but why the plan? what is motivating you? Clit tease! That’s cold man. Bobby Peru cold… The slippery slope is slippery and dat ain’t all… A tease, some kino, a kiss, a rub, a tug etc… pretty soon it all comes together… LOL “I spent hours with one pretty chick that pretty much volunteered. Lol. But she was fun and interesting… Read more »
“n any case I never had even close to random strangers coming to sit with me like on Blax’s report. :”
“Blax give off “unreserved” subcomms that say “I’m approachable”.”
Nope… Blax was SINGING and making himself the center of attention… he was the party and girls just want to have fun, and they joined the party.
He wasn’t James Bonding in the corner, stone faced.
http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/12/12/sky025bq-7a1c116f2ac6ff8af77d0c0bd8c55ec522b37ae8-s900-c85.jpg
Not Blax
@culum @yareally @quixotic @forge @habd FORGOT BEST PART Shortly after met fairy girl and her friend, a guy was giving out flowers. I said “Dude where’s mine.” And he gave me a pink flower. I put it behind my ear. The entire rest of the night I had that flower on my ear. All the asians chicks, the people I approached on the way to my car, lol, had a flower in my ear. No one noticed or reacted to it. Except the hot asian girl said “Is that a flower on your ear” and I said “Yes” and just… Read more »
I read all these posts in reply to Rollo’s article, and they all seem to miss the point: the extreme power in emotions that every woman has to employ against every (weak) man Aren’t you ever afraid of your woman? On my website, sorcerygod.wordpress.com, I talk about sexual domination and proper dominion, but I don’t naively suppose that this can be done without risk. Females network with females, and females “talk” to males who will ally with them. Think back on your personal life. Hasn’t “your” woman ever made you suffer in exchange for a rebellious act you did against… Read more »
@Sorcerygod
Go outside
Men – Want to live a simple, successful, carefree life unburdened by women’s and the state’s forced wealth, power and life transfer from men to women? Don’t (1) get married, (2) give women any legal, social, psychological, physical, financial or spiritual power over your life and (3) enlist in war to have your body parts blown across the battlefield for women. Let the little female snowflakes fight off the foreign aggressors themselves. Don’t build anything for them. Don’t sacrifice on their behalf. Women love it when men sacrifice of their life, health and wealth for women. Just stop doing these… Read more »
@yareally Got boyfriend destroyer questions. Girl I talked to on way back would have fallen for boyfriend destroyer hard. Only talk to her for a min, just shooting the shit about her glasses and huge earings, though I was in a good state after a whole day of socializing. I said “I gotta go now, but we should hang out sometime. What’s your number?” She said “We’re hanging out now.” “Yeah, but I have to go now.” And she said “I don’t want to be mean but I have a boyfriend.” First, awesome I was able to give a man/woman… Read more »
Sorcerygod: “…the extreme power in emotions that every woman has to employ against every (weak) man…” If you start with the strawman argument that everyman is weak, that may hold. But it is still a strawman. “Aren’t you ever afraid of your woman? ” Not really. “Think back on your personal life. Hasn’t “your” woman ever made you suffer in exchange for a rebellious act you did against her? Weren’t in effect a tool of her manipulation?” No, Strawman again. “Either systematically abuse, use, and destroy the self-worth of women whom you sexually exploit, or Support women and their needs.… Read more »
I think the talk is probably the only shit test that a woman sincerely wants a man to fail.
@Cheupez: depending on the woman as well, I think many of the shit tests are done subconsciously, without them realizing what they are doing.
So I think they sincerely want the man to fail or comply in many of them. It is true than when that happens it reduces their respect for the man and can end up making them unhappy as a result.
But that is an issue of them getting what they want rather than what they need (which would be the man passing the shit tests).
I believe that when a woman consciously or subconsciously springs a shit test she secretly (or unconsciously even) wants to find a strong man inside who will scuttle her efforts. What i meant was that in the talk in particular, she sincerely hopes/needs that he be not too strong (in her case).
@Sentient, HABD, theasdgamer – yeah points taken guys. You’re spot on of course. That’s why my focus for July’s Blitz Week is going to be on cold approach and hitting my target openers. Sentient – yes, it’s my frame that’s causing the issues plus inherent weaknesses in online dating model (vs the benefits of it like pipelining). Also, I’m just “perfect” LTR material for a late 20s/early 30s chick and as a result I suspect I need to DQ a lot more actively than you do by virtue of being married and older. LOL@ GLL’s dressed up video. He really… Read more »
I have got a question and maybe a new idea for some new post. When look up on the past 20 years in Hollywood cinematography my observation is that are so many movies with psycho background ( serial killer punished in youth from they mothers, fathers or never experiencing a sex with girls who decide to kill bunch of people, to massacre hot girls, to made all those ritual murders). You can see violence in European’s cinematographic and in reality(war, gang murders, poisoning, robbery murders, terrorist attack) but never so much deeply black like in american movies. Is it something… Read more »
@hank props on getting out even if you are tired… sounds like you are aware of and working through your internal frame issues, so props on that… actually taking action is THE hardest part…lol… wrt girls having ‘bfs’… set your limits that you’re comfortable with and then just play the game… just be aware of the actual reasons you are setting that limit (based on FI values or some GOOD reason…lol). bc MOST girls (at least the ones worth being interested in…lol) will have some type of bf… OR just use that as a shit test…or both…lol… going out less… Read more »
I think the talk is probably the only shit test that a woman sincerely wants a man to fail women want to tame and domesticate the wild alpha, it’s at the core of all women’s romantic fiction they then hitch up the tamed alpha to be used for work and resources, and gain status if their tamed alpha still has considerable SMV which he can’t use. E is practicing this taming, she has got her beta BF under her thumb, she gets want she wants, he gets no sex. However, bored, she will now be moving on to alpha, though… Read more »
* what she wants
fuck sites with no immediate edit
Nope… Blax was SINGING and making himself the center of attention… he was the party and girls just want to have fun, and they joined the party. He wasn’t James Bonding in the corner, stone faced. lol, of course…even James Bond doesn’t James Bond in the corner, stone faced. James is low energy, but you can find him at the gambling table facing off to powerful men…poosynip. I was dancing last night with a lovely young married woman at an event where I accompanied my wife. The girl was a beginning dancer. She was beaming while we danced and lasering… Read more »
Oh, something kinda cool happened to me last Fri…I was given a freebie admission by the cashier at my country bar. She justified it by saying that she recognized me as someone who is a regular. Now if the bartender will comp me a free drink….
Field Report: Had a wonderful experience yesterday at a couples golf tournament. It was a peak experience kind of day. And with a red pill lens it was quite entertaining. One of the things I like about the country club is the social scene is dynamic. Very much so. In relationship game, it is a great infield environment for spouses to interact with other attractive males and females. From Joseph W. South’s “Practical Female Psychology” https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Female-Psychology-Man-ebook/dp/B00RR6RNO6?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within the relationship is important. Some of the ways in which the authors of this book maintain attraction… Read more »
Mrs Box used to do this we need to talk thing often in the early days.Usually it was some solipsistic hamstering where I couldn’t get a word in edgeways, at some point she gave up trying to change me and now I think she is thankfull for what she has.I sure don’t miss the talk. These days when she wants to have a talk it’s about what one of the kids is doing,she can’t seem to stay out of their lives.Which brings me to the current situation. Empty nest syndrome. It would appear as if none are immune to domain… Read more »
@Rollo Tomassi I could almost guarantee your groundswell of pride in your daughter will magnify by 10X when she advances in her interpersonal and professional career every four years. It is heady, scary stuff ( the future), but with you and your wife’s guidance, be rest assured she has at least two standard deviations above the median on the bell curve of possibilities to make herself a feminine powerful woman who is as successful as her mother and the potential to make you even more proud as an excellent parent. Great parenting should engender admiration and respect. I’m giving you… Read more »
THANK YOU for taking advantage
of the $1.99 deal
on the 14-Hour Narration of
“The Rational Male”
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by
Rollo Tomassi!!!
http://twitter.com/sambotta/status/742620941545410560
@Sam Botta
Hope things are going well for you and yours.
Just had my main gig put on hold by the building authority,and am picking up small gigs to fill the void,today I will offer to hand dig some piers.
This tune always gets me right.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT1ircqQklo&w=560&h=315%5D
@Sentient, Hey, I was pretty sure you were the same chap from CH. I’m good thanks, like you suggested, I’m moving forward and figuring things out. How are you? Firstly, thank you for your comments and also the videos. I can see your point regarding day game, and hadn’t considered that most of the women I have been talking to would either be attached or in a hurry. That would certainly explain some of the polite “it was nice meeting you” type responses. Considering that point, I should take it as a positive that many of the women I’ve been… Read more »
Having A Bad Day and Sentient Married man with kids mid 30s and MMSL MAPping guy here – I post sometimes. But I want to share a victory from this weekend. At Saturday lunch my mom said she’d run into an acquaintance I was in high school with who recently moved back to town after many years. This woman told my mom she hasn’t seen me in many years and wants to meet up with me. She’s good looking, never married, no kids. My wife suddenly starts paying attention and starts asking“casual” questions – oh, is she married? Why not?… Read more »
@Marquis wife starts poking around in my WhatsApp messages as she does sometimes. This is a shit test which you failed, lol. Don’t let women go nosying in your stuff. She’s giving you negotiation sex, not desire sex. You have the upper hand in negotiation, temporarily. Openly flirting with women is culturally acceptable, even within the FI’s domain. Your wife won’t like it, but too bad, lol, you need to keep your options open as a man. If your wife objects, just tell her that it’s part of your self-improvement mission to be more fun and socially adept. Of course,… Read more »
@ChunkyMonkey: clubs are designed to make money. Usually by selling overpriced drinks. While a specific way to do that is by getting lots of women there (by giving them discounts or whatever) and then the men following them, I would not say that is their primary goal by design.
@Marquis: I disagree with asdgamer, I think you were getting desire sex, and soft dread is working as described by Rollo etc.
“@Marquis: I disagree with asdgamer, I think you were getting desire sex, and soft dread is working as described by Rollo etc.”
I cosign IAS’s comment. Shit tests were passed well.
(……Note to myself: get more flirty texts from girls on phone)
@Monkey The first rule of first aid is to stop the bleeding. Bad internals are the chief source of bleeding. Fix them first. Externals are like arms, chest, and legs. Work on them when you lift, sure, but don’t ignore the core and back. Core and back are internals. If you have time constraints, prioritize core and back. Lifting priority: Core, back, legs, chest, arms Game priority: Internals: 1. Acceptance of the fact that you are a man and being pleased with being a man and unapologetic for being a man and having a man’s desires and way of thinking.… Read more »
@IAS @SJF Marquis’ wife assumed dominance…checking his phone is a major tell for this. Threatening to divorce for cash & prizes is another major tell. The wife assumes that she can walk away more easily than Marquis. Didn’t Rollo say something about the person who can more easily walk away has the most power in a relationship? (Marquis’ wife is negotiating sex for Marquis not seeking to have options.) If she’s dominant in the relationship, she won’t desire Marquis. For comparison, Mrs. Gamer wouldn’t do this shit and she would abhor a woman who would. Of course, Mrs. Gamer is… Read more »
I know that anything beyond intergender dynamics is beyond the scope of this blog. But in light of the recent Orlando shooting, and my finding of this site the other day, and the relevance it has to TRP: http://www.circumcisioncomplex.com/islamic-super-orgasm/ “Noted Muslims who are able to maintain harems own a copy of the sexual paradise in this life. Even the largest harem, however, cannot bring back the sensitivity gone away with the love tentacle. Nor can it quench the fire of the chronic displeasure that circumcised people subconsciously feel in the belly. Ordinary Muslims rely exclusively on the blissful heaven to… Read more »
@asd
“The first rule of first aid is to stop the bleeding”
restart the breathing
@ASD
“Dread is operating, but Marquis doesn’t yet have the upper hand.
Nice to be all positive and supportive, but let’s not be pollyannish. ”
Good categorization of his situation. And the Frame grab attempt at Dominance.
Mrs. SJF does that shit all the time. Her FI thinks it’s normal operating procedure.
The person who needs the other least has the most power. The old hide-the-vagina trick always is a try-to-usurp power ploy in monogamous marriage.
@Softek: circumcision isn’t required by Catholicism. In fact I believe they used to be against it some centuries ago (now apparently they are neutral on it).
Passing through to drop a vid on the subject of settling down into monogamy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oiaDXrxs7Q https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPONEDOZFmI There’s about a dozen articles worth of content to discuss in these two clips holy shit. From the number of women admitting they do the same thing and how common deadbedrooms are, to the follow-up vid where they give this blue pill chode rounds of applause from the crowd of women for being a good man who isn’t “all about sex” etc Just brutal. You can bet if that chick meets a guy who DOES make her tingle, she’ll fuck him in an instant… Read more »
@HABD – thanks. So the key takeaway is I need to incorporate more DQ as a provider/LTR prospect into my Game – both explicitly (I think YaReally has some lines he drops in like “I’m cold and dead inside” or something or even just saying “I’m not looking for a relationship”) and implicitly from the stories I tell and what they say about me. That’s for the DQ’ing the LTR side, but the “not a provider” part? Hmm. Thinking about how to do that but trickier since just sexualizing and escalating won’t in itself do the trick (assuming I’m straight… Read more »
@Softek “And a key aspect to TRP and “waking men up”, IMO, would 100% absolutely NEED to include the truth about circumcision.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCSWbTv3hng Social conditioning will make girls say they prefer cut (because that’s most of what they see in porn and the guys they fuck so that’s “normal” to them and there’s massive hype about how dirty and gross uncut dicks are (as if you can’t just wash it in the shower like any other fuckin body part lol if you don’t wash your vag for a month it’ll get pretty gross too, should we just cut your vag… Read more »
@Culum Try this on your next online date that you don’t give a fuck about: drink it up and then disqualify her on something meaningless…screen her with like “what do you think about (insert a sexual subject and something she can CHANGE (like her attitude toward wearing lingerie for a man, VS like, her age))?” Whatever answer she gives just be like “oh what? really? huh…” and NOTICABLY become less interested in her. And when the waitress comes by to ask if you want more drinks say “no I have to be going, just the bills.” (with an S, so… Read more »
@Culum Also rub one out right before the date or line up a second date for an hour after this one starts or something, so that you legitimately don’t need sex lol That should help…because if you don’t need SEX, then, I mean, what else does she have to offer you? She’d better step up and impress you if she wants you to pay for any of her drinks even in a dive bar if you don’t need sex from her…and if she doesn’t impress you and fails your sexual screen? Well hey, nice seeing ya, separate checks plz she’s… Read more »
TheMarquis Well done… A cheers to you sir. Sex 3 nightsin a row and a “spontaneous” BJ…. Yessir that hamster is in in overdrive. Because YOU are the prize… AND she will NEVER be the prize again… time marching on and all. All good. In female subchannel talk… no girl randomly appears form the past, and def no unmarried girl. That is a straight out alarm bell to the wife… Wife Facebook-stalking this girl saying She’s very attractive..Why isn’t she married yet?…And your mom says she wants to meet up with you..why did she move back to town?.. Sizing up… Read more »
On the Saira Kahn vids… the real RP truth here, is this woman is 46 years old with two young kids… For most of our time on the planet for most of the world, she would be dead now, or a grandmother… Female body clock is very real, menopause etc.
The fact is they are outliving their biological utility. An article you will not see in Cosmo…
Well make me forget about other girls
Classic negotiation. Even the normally sound-thinking Sentient fails in analysis.
Pussy-chasing never works. So he got sex three nights in a row and a bj. Big fucking deal. If he had to negotiate and was willing to give up his options, he will fail in the future. That’s just the way it works.
All y’all are missing the subcomms in Marquis’ comments.
ASd – Marquis is not pussy chasing, his wife is dick chasing…
I talked with Mrs. Gamer about the lovely married woman (early 20s) who was eyefucking me while we danced and her reply was that a dance instructor was dancing with the same girl and yelled out to her husband to tell the girl to behave herself.
Dread is accepted by Mrs. Gamer and she handles it well. I can even talk about it with her, lol.
Let me put the cookies on the lower shelf.
Well make me forget about other girls
Classic negotiation.
Hamsterlation: “If you have sex with me, I’ll forego my options.”
And if Marquis is willing to give up his options to get sex with his wife, then he is pussy-chasing. His access to pussy will be short-lived if he gives up options.
@YaReally: the Kahn videos, what a power play. From the ones that I can identify – she is playing the victim card and getting positive attention, all the while throwing the husband under the bus publicly as beta – limiting his chances of getting something on the side even if he tried.
Worse (for all of us), she is actively trying to normalize the situation (goading / inviting the other hosts and women in the public to join up for strength in numbers).
Classic “go and get it from other women” shit test as well.
@ YaReally I think realizing the truth about circumcision is another good way for men to wake up. This trauma Rollo talks about, the trauma most men need to wake them up out of Blue Pill reality and into TRP, is already inherent in most men, with most men already being circumcised (at least in the west). Then it seems RIDICULOUS to let ANYONE try to sway you any other way than the way you want to go. First of all, nobody, let alone any woman, gives a FLYING FUCK that my genitals were mutilated. Permanently. Unalterable. Will never get… Read more »
@ YaReally https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryqrqeeTJek Lol. “And if you want to become an Islamic radical and are ready to be circumcised, I invite you to Moscow. We are a multi-faith country and we have experts who can do it. And I would advise them to carry out that operation in such a way that nothing would grow in that place again.” Back on track: For better or for worse, I have to come to terms with this. The best attitude I can think to take is “fuck you.” No one is going to care or understand what I’ve gone through — much… Read more »
Circumcision was a way to mark a man as belonging to the tribe. Nothing more.
@Sentient: apparently they even adopted the kids, they mentioned infertility somewhere? Did anyone bother to count how many times the women (and the husband) in the videos said “normal” (or similar), to try to pass this situation as normal? It’s like they intentionally making these videos for women to show their husbands at home. Ready-made shit tests for your enjoyment, with regards from “Loose women”, Saira Kahn and her husband. Who you would have to look up his last name as it never showed – he is just “Sara’s husband Steve” – kind of like he is her property –… Read more »
@Softek
The proper response to that is to build up my self-respect.
Amen, brother. Preach it!
the good news for Saira Khan and Steve Hyde is she took some time away from the show, and now feels empowered, to the point last week on her return she said: Speaking on the lunchtime show on Thursday (09.06.16), she said: “Steve’s had my breast milk. I put it in his tea! I used one of those pumps and I used to put it in the fridge and we run out of milk, I was making him a cup of tea so I put it in. “It’s quite weak when it mixes with tea. I took it to him,… Read more »
Rollo
http://www.businessinsider.com/london-mayor-sadiq-khan-bans-unrealistic-body-images-from-tfl-adverts-2016-6?nr_email_referer=1&utm_content=FinanceSelect&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_campaign=BI%20Finance%202016-06-14&utm_term=Finance%20Select
@TheMarquis props on continuing to fight the good fight!…lol… glad to see you’re still working on upping your game/RP awareness…and still married… if you want to test the waters on getting her reacting to you/ping her… you can just casually mention that you saw high school girl ‘out’ (having lunch or just walking…w/e…just make it plausible)… but didn’t ‘make’ the time to talk to her (important concept)…lol… then change subject… and wait to see what happens…lol… don’t over do it though…lol Wife saw this and checked the girl out on Facebook. There’s nothing inappropriate in the exchange but she said… Read more »
staying in the UK, the Guardian has a letter: After 28 years of marriage, my husband had an emotional but non-sexual affair. I was devastated but, after the discovery, we actually came together again in the most physical way. My desire and orgasms were thrilling, we experimented with toys and had sexy weekends away – it was awesome! I hoped that those sexual feelings would continue for ever but, alas, they haven’t. In reply, the US based psychotherapist replies, in part: I hypothesise that it was some particular feeling you had about your husband’s desire for another woman that catapulted… Read more »
…and I’m an asshole for exposing the utility of Dread in a relationship.
when Saira Khan suggested to Steve Hyde that he seek sex from other women, she didn’t want him to actually have sex with other women, but she instinctively knew if the threat was real and viable it would bring back her desire like nothing else
@Softek Sounds like the anger stage is building…but that’s not a bad thing, you could USE a little anger to start fixing your shit. After all this talk about dicks and society trying to control us, what do you think your girl is doing when she berates you for LOOKING at other women, or fucking PORN. If circumcision was meant to make you a good little slave what do you think purposely conditioning you to feel guilt and shame for looking at photos on a computer screen is for? Hows your sex life with your girl these days anyway? Are… Read more »
@Redlight: sadly (for him, although he claims to be happy), he failed that shit test.
My wife sometimes half-jokingly suggested I get a doll (although she hasn’t suggested it for a while fortunately). What are some good responses to that shit test, and to the more serious (IMO) shit test suggestion of getting some other women on the side?
@IAS
https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/
Thanks Rugby, I know the general strategies (A&A etc) but I some people here come up with really inspired particular responses to specific shit tests, so I like to do mini-polls on occasion and see if some real gems show up.
IAS
“My wife sometimes half-jokingly suggested I get a doll (although she hasn’t suggested it for a while fortunately). What are some good responses to that shit test,”
YOU: I feel like that now… I need something a bit livelier… [and exit…]
the more serious (IMO) shit test suggestion of getting some other women on the side?”
YOU: who’s saying I don’t already? [and leave whistling a tune…]
It is OK to make her upset… especially when she is GAGGING for it!
TL:DRed most of this, just can’t read it all. A few thoughts and then a mini-fr. – “The talk”. Remember, women reserve the right to change their minds and cheat on you whenever it seems advantageous to do so. And when they do they will never be accused of “having a mid-life crisis”, nope they will be told “you go gurl!”, “Eat, Pray, Love” and be called a”cougar”. She will be told she’s entitled to be happy before keeping her word to her husband. Men are offered no such pass in society. So even in this most basic of conventions,… Read more »
Ooops, just upgraded to Mac and my accounts are all fucked up – the above comment from “Love2015” is mine…
Dead bedrooms are in no way a normal phenomenon. What is normal is the tendency for couples to get distracted with the other aspects of life, such as jobs, bills, and the biggest of them all – children. Children put a hell of a damper on sex lives, especially on the part of women shortly after child birth. It’s not the end of the world, unless a man doesn’t understand the underlying mechanics and how to make things go back to where they need to be. As Ya and scray would say ” ask me how I know..”. When confronted… Read more »
Mini-FR: Did an event last night in a biz community that I have real status in and decided to go deep with one 3 set HB5-6d and a mixed set with a 25yo HB8 in a mixed set. Feeling their interest and willing submission was delightful. I’m so much more deft now and demonstrating high value and calibrating, and also staying in set much longer. Was rewarded with an HB8 reaching out to me today, best way to go in a biz setting where I have a lot to lose by being seen as a creep. In the tech biz,… Read more »
Btw, I’m not scared to lose all my shit, and I’m tired of that argument. I’ve been divorced and didn’t lose my shit. I encourage men to not place their self worth outside of themselves. If you cling to social standing, or social ANYTHING, then don’t cry foul when you lose it. Awful how guys refuse to let this go. It will only crush you if things go south. Smarten up please. I’ve come within inches of losing everything, so I know it’s fucked up, but I didn’t look to anyone to save me, or help me, or feel sorry… Read more »
Lol, bottom line? If you hate marriage and monogamy, I suggest you never get married and fuck 1,000 women…. if you’re mentally up to it.
The constant shitting on marriage is getting old and fucking tired already.
@love2015 Sorry to hear about your wife’s infidelity. That really hurts. Are you in your early 30s? lose your businesses and social standing and physical attributes. I don’t have any of these things, but I still do Ok. Social intelligence counts for a lot and so does being able to dance. I also game my wife quite adequately. Of course, all the rest of you are free to do as you please, but do yourselves a favor, stop bullshitting yourselves. It’s transparent to many of us here what you are up to and you look quite foolish preening about such… Read more »
@IAS Generally she shouldn’t be asking. In social events women will tell my wife “redlight is a great guy”. My wife’s best single friend asks all the time “how’s redlight doing”. My wife says “Terrible shooting in Orlando”, I reply “Mary at work told me that a police chief and police wife were killed by a terrorist in France too”. Key is one needs to be running some game even after getting married, so you are still widely engaging attraction, which the women being gamed appreciate since it’s male attention and tingles. If my wife suggested I fuck these women… Read more »
Re: The Brock Turner imbroglio. Wow, it’s like you can predict from the headlines just how much bullshit there is and how society will react to this crap anymore. I took the time to read the “victim’s” statement at sentencing, which was published all over the web, all 7100 words of it (like a YaReally comment, lol). I was shocked when I read it. A few notes. – The statement itself was absurd. It was a “victim impact statement” given at sentencing and it’s not the time to get revenge on one’s assailant. She used a social privilege granted to… Read more »
” Of course, all the rest of you are free to do as you please, but do yourselves a favor, stop bullshitting yourselves. It’s transparent to many of us here what you are up to and you look quite foolish preening about such nonsense here of all places.” Hey, all newbies and lurkers here reading along, Never listen to bitter dudes. Life is not one big suck-fest. Bad things happen every day to good people. The trick is, how will you recover? Will you forever carry the hurt and ” woe is me/fuck the world ” attitude, or will you… Read more »