Little Big Head

One of the dichotomies I consistently see in the manosphere is the differences in how men approach the importance (or feigned unimportance) of sex. I got a bit sidetracked in last week’s essay. I was planing on writing about this phenomenon when I saw the need to explore how it impacted a larger social narrative. So, let’s consider this essay an addendum to The New Polyandry.

How men publicly and privately prioritize sex is always something that leads to a judgement call about that particular man, how he lives his life, and what it says about his integrity. If you openly make sex a “big deal” in your life, or you acknowledge its importance in intersexual relationships, you open yourself up to men’s Beta Game virtue signaling. The presumption is that if you were a real Alpha sex is just something you should have mastery over. If sex is at all important to a man, and he expresses this, that guy runs the risk of being seen as “obsessed with sex“, a “pussy beggar” or in someway less of a man for allowing sex to control his decisions.

Why is this the perception?

Two weeks ago I had a lively debate with the producer of Pat Campbell’s morning show. While we did have other topics to hit on that morning, she and I dug in and talked about how “sex is the glue that holds relationships together.” You can listen to the full segment here if you like.

As I mentioned last week, the notion that men need sex is nothing I haven’t covered in the past. In You Need Sex I made a case for the importance of sex and how it was, until recently, something that constituted part of a man’s life experience. Now it seems that being a sexless virgin at age 40 should be considered an accomplishment by certain factions in the manosphere: 

One very common dismissal of Red Pill awareness I read from Blue Pill men is this feigned, blasé indifference to sex.

For the most part this false-indifference is really a conditioned, response couched in Beta Game. The idea is for the Blue Pill guy to promote the public perception that he’s above his sexual impulses in the hopes that any girl within earshot (or reading his comments online) will recognize his uniqueness in not letting his cock do his thinking for him. From a male deductive logic standpoint it makes sense to the feminized male – women have all told him how off-put they are with guys who only think about sex, so he’ll identify with the women he’d like to get with and “not be like other guys.”

“All that Red Pill, PUA shit is for guy’s who obsess over sex. They only go to the lengths they do to get laid and never see the bigger picture. You don’t need sex you know? You wont die from not getting laid.”

[…]Thats the Beta Game behind the “you don’t need sex” Buffer, but there’s more to this rationale than that. Technically the Beta reasoning is correct; physically, you’re not going to die if you don’t get laid. You could probably masturbate to relieve yourself or live a sexless existence due to a physical disability and live a productive life as satisfying as you can manage it. If you don’t know what you’re missing or if a sexual substitute does the job, what’s the difference, right? The line of reasoning is that if it isn’t food, water or oxygen it isn’t really a necessity for existence.

You’re All Obsessed!

Self-righteous Blue Pill men always look to make their necessities into virtues. It also helps the men who fall on the 80% side of the Hypergamous Pareto curve to convince themselves and others that their sexual strategy – one that follows enforced monogamy – is the moral one; or the logical, common sense one absent the moral context. If you cannot get laid yourself, at least you can make getting laid into an ‘obsession‘ for the 20% of men who can. By doing so you encourage the 20% of men, who women desire to fuck, to police themselves and women by adopting your own, self-superior, one-woman-per-man sexual strategy.

Pretty much every MRA I’ve listened to, most Traditional Conservatives and a few MGTOWs, like to qualify men who can get laid as being in some way obsessed with getting laid. We’re told how morally superior they themselves are for essentially thinking with the big head instead of the little one, thus confirming their own part in a monogamous sexual strategy. As I mentioned in the last essay, a majority of men tend to fall on one side of the Strategic Pluralism Theory with respect to their sexual strategy.

Low SMV (sexual market value) men are basically forced to invest in one woman at a time if they are to successfully reproduce. This is the basis of a socio-sexual order founded on enforced monogamy. The larger pool of men benefit reproductively if the majority of men can be relied upon to follow the dictates of socially accepted, socially enforced, form of monogamy.

In the past this emphasis also had a culling effect on the worst aspects of women’s Hypergamous tendencies. If all men – including the 20% who could enjoy many women – agreed to play by the old social contract and adopted monogamy as their sexual strategy (in spite of being able to reproduce outside it) then more men would have the opportunity to reproduce. Furthermore, women’s Hypergamy would also be forced to accept lower SMV men’s monogamous strategy as a buffer to worst aspects of their own.

In the past, religious and social mores used to act as a buffer against Hypergamy, but the compromise for women was that they could expect to have the Beta Bucks provisioning aspects of their Hypergamy more or less provided for by the majority of men who adopted this strategy. In an evolutionary sense, protection and provisioning are already an integral part of the male mental firmware. But all of that went out the window after the Sexual Revolution, unilaterally female-controlled hormonal birth control and the socio-sexual/socioeconomic landscape that sprang from the Fempowerment narrative.

Today there is a radical imbalance between the old social contract upon which enforced monogamy was a key element and the new social contract dictated by a gynocratic social order that places women’s sexual strategy well above that of men’s. So it’s small wonder that men would revert back to 80% of low SMV men insisting on, and shaming, the 20% of high SMV men comply with a sexual strategy that women readily confirm isn’t in their best interests. 

On the male side of the strategic equation a majority of low SMV men cannot afford to have Alpha men playing by the rules of polygyny.

That polygyny is really a form of female-directed polyandry (see last week’s essay), but to the 20% of men who enjoy the benefits of falling on the enthusiastic consent side of Hypergamy it just makes sense to go with it. As such, low SMV men are compelled to find ways of discouraging these Alphas from following their r selected sexual strategy. They realize women will want, and pursue, Alphas. And in a polyandrous socio-sexual order based on the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy low SMV men drew the shortest straw.

Intrasexual Combat

When Beta men shame women for wanting to fuck Alpha men it has the effect of making those Beta men seem more insecure. In a feminine-primary social order one of the highest crimes is to attempt to challenge Hypergamy in any way. Even in a religious context, to challenge Hypergamy is to be guilty of repressing women’s sexuality. Today, just this impression is conflated with ‘toxic’ masculinity.

In truth, it would never occur to most low SMV men to shame women for their sexual strategy because they know that in doing so they reduce their own chances of reproduction. Women simply deem them ‘losers’ in the SMP (sexual marketplace). They become scolds, or worse, they become men who are “insecure in their masculinity” because they confirm their low SMV status in doing so. In today’s socio-sexual environment men policing women’s Hypergamy is a lost cause.

The solution then becomes an effort to disqualify the Alpha men they compete with by changing the rules that “real men” are supposed to play by. If you can’t win the Game, change the rules to better fit your strengths.

The ‘Real Man®‘ becomes the guy who exclusively invests himself in one ‘Quality Woman‘ – just like they do.

The apex of masculinity becomes whatever definition best aligns with what they believe they represent.

The’Real Man®‘ is the guy who best fulfills a woman’s, often duplicitous, sexual/life strategy by adopting the K mating strategy of socially/religiously enforced monogamy – just like they do. Oh, and the Quality Woman becomes whatever woman whose necessity compels her to agree with and adopt that strategy (Epiphany Phase).

The Real Man®‘ is the guy who plays by the old social contract rules of enforced monogamy, so more Betas might have a better shot at reproduction. True ‘Manhood‘ becomes a title Betas now feel qualified to bestow on other men; just as women also do with men who help complete their Hypergamous life-strategies. 

Trads vs. The Playboy Lifestyle

In order for Beta men to effect this reigning in of the Alpha men women want to tame and breed with, the high SMV man must be demonized and disqualified from the SMP for following his sexual/biological imperatives. The most common way to do this is by conflating his strategy with a degenerate hedonism. he must be made to seem as if he’s not in control of his sexual nature. So the effort becomes one of building an archetype around the ‘Playah‘ – A man who would be a bad long term bet for women’s Hypergamy because he lacks self-control. For this straw man character his little head does the thinking for the big head making him unreliable as a prospect for parental investment.

If enforced monogamy defines the accepted SMP, and women are presumed to be coequal, co-rational participants in it the ‘Playah’ needs to be cast as the outsider. The latent message is the same intrasexual combat method women use with ‘slut shaming‘; the ‘Playah‘ is a bad bet for long term security even if he is the guy women want to fuck.

However, that Playboy is a cruel reminder to low SMV men that they’ll never be able to fully exercise their own masculine imperative – unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. The closest the majority of men will ever get to this is online porn; which of course is why it’s so popular. There is a reason why 68% of Christian men watch porn. They understand that it’s the only viable substitute for their sexual imperative that they’re likely to experience in this lifetime.

While MRAs and MGTOW tend to reserve a special hate for ‘Playahs‘, it’s the Trad-Con mindset that is the most vocal against the Playboy lifestyle. There’s an overarching need amongst Trads to confirm their ego-investment in locking themselves into  enforced monogamy. 

There’s two complications to this:

First, Trad men (and women) tend to superimpose their religious and social belief set on their own sexual strategy. It’s a sin if they don’t accept monogamy as the standard. Today, this belief is a vestige of the old buffers that used to guard against either sex getting too far into their primal sexual impulses and strategies. It’s much easier to impose your sexual strategy on other men, effectively policing their strategy, if it’s ‘God’s Will’ that everyone behave according to that old social contract. I should add that this is the primary reason most Trad men suffer the worst from having their belief in the old set of books destroyed by Red Pill truths. It is galling for men who’ve invested their whole lives in the old social contract to have it vividly disproved by ‘Playahs’ (and women’s behaviors that confirm it) who understand the new social contract well enough to make it work for them.

Second, there’s the self-fulfilling idea that a man who opts for the traditional monogamous lifestyle is in some way more progressive or evolved, or life-satisfied than the ‘Playah‘ with the option to enjoy his non-exclusive sexual strategy. These are the guys who play up the ‘sour grapes’ Law of Power:

Law 36 – Disdain the things you cannot have

If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

MRAs and Trads alike don’t like being reminded that sex has always been an integral part of a healthy life experience for the majority of men who’ve ever lived on this planet. However, to them, sex is almost always a reward for desired behavior that they believe women expect of them. For most of them sex is always transactional so they never live out any frame of reference of having sex with a woman in a validational sense. It’s likely that they will never experience sex in any other context than the transactional. This is simply one of the visceral realities of a Darwinian sexual marketplace. As such, this pretext colors all of their understanding about what is, or should be accepted as, a legitimate sexual strategy – which unsurprisingly is his enforced monogamy strategy.

“Meaningful” Sex

The low SMV majority have many contrivances to corral uncooperative Alphas to adopt their sexual strategy. However, there’s also an involved necessity to convince themselves that their Blue Pill conditioning is the best sexual strategy that would benefit everyone if we’d all just see the validity of it as they do. To effect this they apply a subjective “meaningfulness” to their enforced monogamy (K selection) and “meaninglessness” to pursuing men’s biological imperatives (r selection) or the Alpha sexual strategy.

As a result, low SMV men tend to deemphasize the importance of sex in life. I asked this in the introduction; why is there a perception that a man who enjoys many women is somehow having sex that is less ‘meaningful’ than a man whose sex live is dependent on his relationship with one woman – or, a man who is ostensibly celibate?

The tactic involved here is the control over what constitutes meaning in sex. Low SMV men need this control to direct a meta-Frame that foments their sexual strategy; sex is only valid if it’s ‘meaningful’ in a way that aligns with an enforced monogamy sexual strategy. Thus, they can disqualify high-SMV men by delegitimizing his sexual experience. The higher the notch count, the less meaningful the sexual experience – and the likelier he can be seeen as “obsessed‘ with (meaningless) sex.

“Meaning” is deliberately ambiguous to better salve the egos of low SMV men, but meaning only aligns with what better promotes the enforced monogamy strategy. This strategy conflict actually serves Hypergamy in the long run as well. Women will endorse the importance of meaningful sex since it helps to convince the r selected Alphas that they should (eventually) shift to K selected commitment and parental investment with them. To the Beta moralist, any sex that doesn’t implicitly lead to marriage, children and the formation of families it’s always ‘meaningless’.

For the less moralistic low SMV man the idea that sex is something easily had, something inherently cheap, serves in devaluing Alpha men’s sexual experience. A popular idea among MRAs is that meaningless sex is something any guy can realistically achieve in a random club on a Friday night. This also serves to debase the value of learning Game; something MRAs never seem to have any facility with. By unrealistically cheapening the process of Game the same ‘meaninglessness’ imperative is created.

If any guy can find a worthless club slut with minimal effort then the low SMV man can raise his value by appearing to have higher standards than to lower himself to doing so. See how that works? This is a variation of the ‘sour grapes’ strategy I mentioned earlier. The Alpha who can easily get women becomes common. And by enjoying what Beta men believe should be a common sexual experience that man is reducing himself to his baser instincts. They say he’s “obsessed with pussy” or a “pussy beggar” because he’s applied himself to learning, in the most marginal way, how to have sex on his terms. And if he plays by a rule set that doesn’t align with the “correct” rules all his efforts become “meaningless”.

I should add here that MRAs and some Trad-Con men also like to foment the idea that because they eschew all that easily-had “meaningless” sex that Alpha men and Low Quality women are engaging it frees him up to pursue more esoteric, philosophical and creatively productive pursuits. Again, this helps to boost their esteem while presenting the appearance of uniqueness in spite of the fact that few of them ever have anything concrete to show for it. Along these lines they also love to imply that famous celibate men of antiquity were somehow more accomplished because they had the forbearance of mind to understand sex was a hindrance. When no one believes you aren’t making your necessity a virtue it’s sometimes necessary to paint men more famous than you with the same false-virtues.

The common refrain is that they’ve reached some Nirvana state of higher purpose or that they’ve evolved above the common need for sex. They shame the Alpha’s intelligence by claiming they allow their sexual nature to dictate to their rational nature. This too is a sexual quality signaling (or they believe it should be). They hope that their coequal, co-rational, Quality women will respond to it because they presume they’re using the same enforced monogamy rule book. Most Beta moralists are egalitarian blank-slate equalists. If they are evolved above their sexuality, then evolved, rational women should be too – but only if they are quality.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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kfg
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@ASD:

Note that the feminist theory of moral development does not refute the claim that men have a more justice based conception than does that of women.

They merely refute that that matters and have posited a caring model of morality.

So you are, ironically enough, at odds with feminism in claiming that women have the same sort of moral agency.

Student
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@Anonymous Reader

“‘Could you make your point clearer’

The details were left as an exercise for the Student.”

I’ll take that as a no then

Student
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@kfg
“Men and women have mature judgment centers in their brains.”

https://infogalactic.com/info/Lawrence_Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_development

Your using 1950s psychology theory!

kfg
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@Student:

When I was an undergrad I had a physics professor who liked to give us test questions he didn’t know the answer to. I thank him for it, because it turns out that figuring out the answers to questions that the professor doesn’t know is what grad students are for.

theasdgamer
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@ student

“Better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

From 2010:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2892678/

theasdgamer
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@ASD: Note that the feminist theory of moral development does not refute the claim that men have a more justice based conception than does that of women. They merely refute that that matters and have posited a caring model of morality. So you are, ironically enough, at odds with feminism in claiming that women have the same sort of moral agency. Why should I care? Agency merely implies ethical choices, which both sexes have since we don’t have external compulsions. Women can make ethical choices just like men can. Women have a cortex, even if their emotion centers are more… Read more »

Student
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@Kfg I’m a grad student so does that mean you don’t know the answer?

@asd

Your link is based on cognitive science theory.

As opposed to the 50s Kohlberg theory that bases all moral judgements around the value of justice.

Also cognitive science theory itself is built on shakey foundations

XXX
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Blaximus, I think it would have served your alpha guy status it it was your wife who told the guy hitting on her to piss off loudly, and in no uncertain terms. You should not have done a thing, only smirked as she laid into him (in a bad way). Isn’t the manosphere always banging about how mate guarding is beta ? Sure, defend your territory if push came to shove, but I think most alpha men would ditch women who do not respect them enough to fend off the attentions of other men vigorously.

kfg
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” . . . we don’t have external compulsions.”

Hunting, fighting and inseminating.

Gathering, gestating and child rearing up to weaning.

External compulsions – that are different, and yield different psychologies and moralities, because they must, or we wouldn’t be here. Plug the parameters of equality into an RTS game and watch your civilization collapse and die.

Are you really here to tell us that men and women are the same except for a few bits of irrelevant plumbing?

kfg
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” . . . does that mean you don’t know the answer?”

No. It means that I am affording you the respect and opportunity to show that you can think.

Student
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@kfg “Are you really here to tell us that men and women are the same except for a few bits of irrelevant plumbing?”

I think women are more different than you can imagine.

I attacked this claim only:

“The absence of patriarchy does not imply matriarchy”

And quoted it to make that fact clear

kfg
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kfg
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“I attacked this claim only: “The absence of patriarchy does not imply matriarchy””

Do you know what the terms mean?

Adam S
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Long time lurker, first time poster. I agree with you about the importance of sex, but think you’re exaggerating a bit about the difference between alpha and beta strategies. Humans are a very k selected species and as a result we have strong parental urges. Although men don’t get the baby rabies in the same way as women, lots of men who can laid still want to have a family and invest in their kids. The ideal male reproductive strategy is to have a family who you provide for AND sexual variety on the side. This is what powerful men… Read more »

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@kfg
“I attacked this claim only: “The absence of patriarchy does not imply matriarchy””

Do you know what the terms mean?”

Well kfg now you mention it, anthropologists haven’t used these terms for many decades because they were found to be nonsensical and of no use. So I could attack your claim from that direction if you like?

The point I was making contra your claim is that when children lack fathers they’re upbringing is not sufficiently substituted by male relatives. See my reasons above.

kfg
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“The ideal male reproductive strategy is to have a family . . .”

Family does not imply nuclear family.

” . . . banging other girls didn’t stop a man from loving his wife . . .”

Historically wives did not expect to be loved. Ancient Greeks thought marriage was the cure for the mental illness of love. Marriages were arranged, for practical function.

That is why Victoria and Albert are held to be remarkable.

Student
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“Family does not imply nuclear family.”

Saying it doesn’t make it true and you haven’t addressed my objections above.

Good bye

kfg
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” . . . anthropologists haven’t used these terms for many decades . . .”

In the absence of further evidence, I’ll take that as a “no,” but it’s good to know that there’s nothing to smash and that . . . the absence of patriarchy does not imply matriarchy.

” . . . when children lack fathers . . .”

I haven’t seen my father since I was 18 months old, but I’m pretty damned sure I had one.

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@Adam S

What you say is true if the purpose of life is to cultivate sex. Doesn’t hold true if man is a rational animal AND his purpose in life is to cultivate rationality.

“Women have historically have been okay with this because”

Women are ok with it because it eats away at mans rationality and women are jealous of man abilities.

In my opinion anyway

theasdgamer
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Are you really here to tell us that men and women are the same except for a few bits of irrelevant plumbing?

No, women and men are wired differently. However, despite the wiring differences, both men and women have judgment centers. Proper training will turn a feral boy/girl into a civilized man/woman.

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@kfg

“I haven’t seen my father since I was 18 months old, but I’m pretty damned sure I had one.”

I didn’t say that you didn’t have a father.

I say that if you don’t see him in your childhood then you don’t have an optimal upbringing.

kfg
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” . . . despite the wiring differences, both men and women have judgment centers . . .”

. . . which are wired differently. See the preparations for the final battle in Eaters of the Dead/The 13th Warrior.

“Proper training will turn a feral boy/girl into a civilized man/woman.”

Actual work with actual feral children suggests otherwise.

kfg
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“I didn’t say that you didn’t have a father.”

That is correct, you addressed the generic issue. I am merely an instantiation.

“I say that if you don’t see him in your childhood then you don’t have an optimal upbringing.”

You are making the assumption that the absence of a father in the nuclear family model is the absence of being raised by men filling the same role. There are children who don’t even know that their father is absent.

Or perhaps you are merely making the bald assertion.

Student
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@kfg
“Or perhaps you are merely making the bald assertion.”

Gave reasons above. You haven’t addressed them

Dionysus
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As has been stated, if all men tomorrow instantly became the ‘alphas’ of today the only thing that would happen is the women would become even more discerning as to who is in the top 20%. There is no real endgame here, just a losing propostion all around with enormous opportunity costs and a breakdown of society. It’s the ‘Snitch-Snitch’ equilibrium in the Prisoners Dillema – meaning not optimal. This is the crux of the connundrum when it comes to the creation of a functional society. The optimum civilizaiton-building strategy is the supression of sexual desire from the get go.… Read more »

kfg
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“Gave reasons above.”

I have reread the thread and found no reasoning or reasons. Only the hammering of your a priori axiom.

So, ummmmmmmmmmmmm, OK?

boulderhead
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“I didn’t say that you didn’t have a father. I say that if you don’t see him in your childhood then you don’t have an optimal upbringing.” Odds are on average this statement may be true,but considering that most men fall on the curves either side of average then the statement must be false. As in 80% of statistics are fabricated from partial evidence on the cuff of the spur in a moment. Calling a single moms father a wuss may ignore the fact that his SIL hit his daughter and summarily disappeared into the old out house hole during… Read more »

boulderhead
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My favorite is the BMI,an above average man at 5’10 may weigh 230lbs with an 18″ neck 50″ chest and 36″ waist and 3% fat.
At the same time a below average man could be the same height and weight with 30% fat .

But they are both considered obese according to the BMI.Where is the curve?

What they are really bitching about is where are the good men? They are all tired.

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@Dionysus You are mixing up the fact there is a Top Down approach and a Bottoms up approach to Red Pill. The former implies there are forces beyond your control. A Stoic would not let that bother him. You cannot control what you cannot control. The latter implies a man has control over his own way of thinking and doing. He can self improve. He can make his life better. He can decide how he thinks about his own realm and his control over his reality. It is implied in your statements you are not in an LTR. (As often… Read more »

alf
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Hey Rollo I would like to put your SMV graph on the cover of my upcoming e-book (amongst other memes). Is that OK with you.

Blaximus
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XXX

Clarification: wifey had rebuffed the guy numerous times. It was very different when he walked up ( knowing who I was ) and ignored me like I wasn’t even there, and hit on her 3 feet away.

That’s something completely different. I didn’t thrash him for hitting on my wife, I broke his ass for that level of blatant disrespect. It’s like a dude walking up and taking your beer/drink out of your hand while not acknowledging you at all.

He was trying to send me a message. Message received and replied to.

theasdgamer
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As has been stated, if all men tomorrow instantly became the ‘alphas’ of today the only thing that would happen is the women would become even more discerning as to who is in the top 20%.

Lol, this is silly. The key thing is to learn your moves in the mating dance. The game isn’t about who dances “best.” Woman can’t discern that clearly. Most men dance very clumsily. It doesn’t take that much to dance without being clumsy.

theasdgamer
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Blax, the drink thing hits home with me. Last night, a young girl was being very friendly to me, even putting her hand around my waist during a line dance–I’ve danced with her before, but she comes to the bar very infrequently. Anyway, I asked a guy who was chatting with her if I could leave my drink on the ledge near him and I went and did the line dance and the girl was friendly. When I came back, my drink was gone. I was pissed and abandoned the group and the girl, who was still throwing IOIs at… Read more »

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Reminds me to mention a counterpoint I sometimes drop on women who scorn, “You don’t die from not having sex.” “As a woman, you won’t die from not having social connection nor contact with your girlfriends, children, and family, either — but you live without any for six months, then report back how you’re faring.” As a sidenote…my wife (we’re first-marriage, 39-years-married…atheists…six now-all-adult kids,…mutually non-sexually-exclusive except a deliberate hiatus until all the kids had become adults) has been telling other women for decades, “Any woman who marries or long-term-commits to a guy, but doesn’t do all she’s able to meet… Read more »

Playdontpay
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Is there ever going to be a comment section where adsgamer doesn’t interject his dancing?

It’s as predictable as it is boring and it’s been done to death, give it a rest FFS.

ex-cartoonist
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Why does this bother me? I get that there are Men Who Get Laid and Men Who Don’t. And I get Rollo’s point that Men Who Don’t try and shame the Men Who Do (a) out of a ‘sour grapes’ resentment, (b) as a sexual strategy to present themselves as ‘not like other men’, and (c) as an attempt to reframe the conversation so that ‘Alpha behaviour = shameful’, thus promoting themselves as ‘better men’. And that this is not the reality–that alpha men are not necessarily shameful. Fair point. I agree. However, as a low SMV guy, it seems… Read more »

Orson
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@ex-cartoonist The manosphere is very fragmented and decentralised for you to feel like you are excluded. The various factions constantly pull knives on eachother which I find very entertaining to be honest. The black pill/Lookism crowd talks shit about red pillers for being old timers that cope with holding frame and lifting weights. They also call “MGTOW” Men sent their own way..lol. The Red Man Group and PUAs call MGTOWs incels in disguise or belittles incels for not trying hard enough …”just lift bro”. MGTOWs hate the PUAs and call them pussy beggars. TFL crowd call MGTOWs as true forced… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
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@Orson Thanks for your comment. I laughed when I read your breakdown of ‘the Factions’. So true! I’m not sure I would use the word ‘excluded’, but I do wonder whether I’m welcome here. On the one hand, I love the idea of participating in a discussion which is, in essence, a search for the truth. My experiences with women have been marked by such extremes of joy and misery (mostly misery) that I really didn’t know what the hell was going on and Rollo’s blog explains so much and makes so much sense. I’m deeply grateful to the man.… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
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And there we have it.

I rest my case…

Orson
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“But if, as one commenter said, this is only a site for men who want to get laid (“If you’re not interested, what are you doing here?”)”

Getting laid is important part of the male experience so it’s also about that.
Still this is the best place to learn about inter-gender dynamics and there is a lot of gold in the posts and the comments. You don’t have to agree with everything and if someone challenges you in the comment section does not mean that you “don’t belong”.

Orson
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@ex-cartoonist “partly to hear other experiences and partly to figure out what works for me.” If you don’t know about the red pill and other’s men experiences you feel like there is something uniquely wrong with you when shit hits the fan. When my 6 years old LTR ended I was all alone because I made the mistake to ostracise myself from male friends and the social circle and only socialise with the girlfriend. I started dating immediately after she dumped me and ghosted me. Just one week after that, I dated a girl that was hotter than her and… Read more »

scribblerg
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Great post. This is the kind of clear truth men – alphas and betas and everyone else – need to internalize. Rollo provides us with a map, how one traverses the terrain is up to each man to come to terms with himself. But somehow, Rollo didn’t quite go the distance on the beta mindset wrt hating guys who fuck lots of women. Their insipid rationales (i’m low, or immoral, or obsessed or mean – all on display in this comment thread already) are merely buffers for their egos. They have to hate us or else they will only be… Read more »

Blaximus
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You can’t keep a woman around.

They keep themselves around.

When you start ” figuring “, you’re on the road to fucking up over the long term. That figuring shifts the frame to her.

Sentient
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Blax

HoF quote

“You can’t keep a woman around.

They keep themselves around.”

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6475023/California-wildfire-evacuee-returns-home-dog-waiting-rubble-torched-house.html

Once more with feeling “cats are not dogs”

scribblerg
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Fyi, I have a nuclear blast waiting in moderation cuz of two links, you pussies had better brace yourselves. @Orson and The Wheeler – Men choke down the Red Pill for the pussy, then calmly transform their beings and lives when they get that they’ve denied themselves their very essence via gynocentric social conditioning. The hardest part for me was seeing my complicity and how I liked whining. I needed my good excuses for not shouldering the Burden of Performance. @Wheelie – Read Rollo’s books. You seem quite smart and evolved, I don’t think you will need so much time… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@play

See, there’s this thing called a scroll wheel…

Sentient
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Cartoonist

“Sure, I would love to bang hot women, but since they don’t want to bang me, I feel I would be wiser to focus my energies and time on pursuits I CAN succeed at. ”

I’d like to fly, but wishing won’t make that happen.

What have you been doing to bang any women, let alone hot ones?

Sentient
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Blax

Concur with your beat down. Now tell the story…. Blow by blow.

Sentient
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On the topic of sex with married women… Sex is really no big deal to women, to a degree we will never fully understand as men. They are hit on constantly, if largely ineptly or half heartedly. But every single one of those little IOIs they receive they can fan in to a fire with a subtle response. They know this. A little side action to a married woman is not a big deal. Easily rationalized away, it “just happen ed”, or tucked away as a fantasy… Guilt free just like that chocolate they ate while dieting… And from what… Read more »

Onder Hassan
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The problem with this theory Rollo is that as valid as it is that Alphas are able to have sex with as many women as they want and serve their sexual needs. It simply isn’t healthy in terms of your biological function to experience that much sexual gratification. We simply weren’t built that way and is more harmful than good. Case in point is the idea of stimulation. Almost everyone experiences the eventual dopamine flatline to porn, which commonly spawns into more taboo types of porn in order to get the dopamine hit required to feel excited. This is no… Read more »

Student
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@Onder Hassan

Exactly.

Sugar is good. But being addicted to sweeties and chocolate is not.

Christians have one way of regulating intake others have their own.

But a lot of red pill don’t see a problem. They are like drunks and crack addicts who never realise how much it stunts their growth because they never manage to get out of that drunken state.

scribblerg
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@Onder – Throughout much of humanity’s time on Earth, high power/value men have taken many men. When it was legit to do so, and when not. This is not as new a phenomena as you seem to want to think, nor was monogamy enforced very well. In terms of reproductivity, it’s clear many lower value men don’t get to pass on their genetics. so the clustering around high value males is clear over human history. You talk about what’s good for “harmonious society”, says who? When was this great “harmony” you speak of? So all quality of genetics get the… Read more »

Sentient
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=slCyRchz2YQ

If you are looking for a Christmas movie… Which covers hypergamy, fidelity, sexuality and Illuminati…

Blaximus
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Sentient Yeah man, I was that dog story in one of the morning news shows. Outstanding. Re: guys trying to figure out how to keep a woman around, 😂 that sounds like some kind of hostage situation. You can’t expend brain power in that stuff. My wife is out right now desperately trying to wrap up Christmas shopping, and I have a work project to work on, so I’ll be tethered to my laptop for the bulk of the day. Wifey has been blowing up my phone with texts since she left – ” do you want me to bring… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Nope. I don’t grasp why a man would try to ” figure out ” how to keep a woman around.

I don’t grasp why a man would try to “figure out” how to drive a car. No accidents in decades and one moving violation (when I was severely sleep deprived).

You don’t even get why your statement is so retarded.

Someone who has unconscious competence doesn’t understand why people can be incompetent. It’s just so easy….

theasdgamer
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Almost everyone experiences the eventual dopamine flatline to porn

Except when they don’t…like me, cuz I don’t do porn. I have other addictions.

theasdgamer
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It simply isn’t healthy in terms of your biological function to experience that much sexual gratification.

…sounds like something a woman would say when there are no hot guys around…this is standard FI programming and is backed up by NO scientific studies

Blaximus
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Women and care are different things.

My statement is not retarded, a man shouldn’t ” figure out ” how to keep a woman around. Women stay because they want and are compelled to do so. Men aren’t women, so all that figuring will most likely be an FI based form of blue pilled capitulation.

First a man understands who and what he is, then he needs to understand the opposite sex. You don’t get them and then start figuring.

theasdgamer
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First a man understands who and what he is, then he needs to understand the opposite sex. You don’t get them and then start figuring.

In an ideal situation, sure. Unfortunately, many men have to figure it out AFTER they are married. I remind you of your first marriage.

theasdgamer
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Blax, my son in law is in a marriage and doing a shitty job of leading…Daughter Gamer moved out a month ago because of his constant attacks on her…she has started a new job with lots of hours as well as the baby, being sleep deprived for months on end and lots of stress at work as well as with the SIL…she cannot function at work if SIL is in the house…he follows her from room to room, ranting and yelling at her…he has not listened in the past to my lessons, characterizing them to Daughter Gamer as “sexual escapades”… Read more »

Orson
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@scribblerg “Women want to stop having to fuck betas. They’d rather work their whole lives and die lonely deaths for just some time on alpha dick in their lives.” That’s the path to asexuality for women and the inverted female version of “Meaningful” sex that Rollo talks about in this essay. Female sexual strategy is completely lame and unnecessary in the modern world we live in. Her reserving her ovaries for alpha seed serves no purpose whatsoever if the seed ends up in the trash bin. Many western countries are dying out because of their infantile entitlements. Majority of women… Read more »

boulderhead
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@Studebaker.

“Christians have one way of regulating intake others have their own.”

The majority of Christians use porn to regulate their intake,they need to take the red pill.

Sentient
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Blax Yup I hear you… Of late, as my radiant sexual vibe has amplified… Wife has taken to grabbing me throughout the day and planting a kiss… and acting very jealous when I am out… sending a bunch of texts “hey! When you coming home ;)” “Be careful out there” “stay out of trouble” etc… My WK buddy gets furious when I show these to him… ASD Well your “trained” daughter is just some isolation away from banging some random dude… I’m in on the pool. Red Flags – it’s what’s for Christmas… [PS – women with recent babies are… Read more »

Student
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@boulderhead

“The majority of Christians use porn to regulate their intake,they need to take the red pill.”

Just because they identify as Christian doesn’t make it so. And even if they did that figure is lower than average among men. I wonder how tight their survey methodology was etc….

Yawn.

kfg
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“Just because they identify as Christian doesn’t make it so.”

Primus: How old are you?
Secundus: 50
Primus: Dude, you look awful, like you’re 70.
Secundus: Actually, I’ve lived for 90 years, but I spent 40 of them in Delaware and don’t count them.

theasdgamer
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ASD

Well your “trained” daughter is just some isolation away from banging some random dude… I’m in on the pool. Red Flags – it’s what’s for Christmas…

Lol, I’ll take that bet. A fool and his money…

Sentient
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Well you are a fool ASD . so… Get ready.

Red Flags

Separated
Husband is a bitch… So she has no guilt.
Post baby self esteem issues.
Stressed
Works out of home, so has child support. Easy to isolate.
Momma doesn’t like SIL… Sisterhood Uber Alles activated!!!
FIL has Daddy Goggles on…

What kind of odds you giving?

Sentient
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Oh and 8. Fear of “what is going to happen to baby?”… Monkey branch….

Sentient
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Let me know when the GNO’s start…

“Sure dear, your dad and I will watch the baby tonight. You seem so stressed, go have some fun with your girlfriends…”

Sentient
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Blax back to your HoF quote… ” You can’t keep a woman around. They keep themselves around.” The subtle mental shift, so easy, yet so hard. Reminds of the story of a HoF cornerback… He was a big stud out of college, got on his NFL team, ballin out… One day an older corner pulled him aside and asked him about his “mentality”, how he approached the game. The younger guy said “easy man…. don’t GET BEAT!”… lol Older timer shook his head, “that’s why you won’t be great”. Youngster was taken aback ‘huh”… Old guy “think about this… the… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Sentient, you should feel confident about 5 to 1 odds, so let’s do 500/100.

Daddy Goggles, lol

kfg
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“Daddy Goggles”

An order of magnitude stronger than husband goggles.

Sentient
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Well there we have it… ASD had no confidence in his “training” BS… So at least we wont have to hear about that nonsense any longer. If he had any integrity that is.

Sentient
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Of course those playing along at home will note that with the selection and parental ratification of SIL the “training” was seriously deficient to begin with.

Beds made will be layed in…

theasdgamer
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Of course those playing along at home will note that with the selection and parental ratification of SIL the “training” was seriously deficient to begin with. Lol, the training that I did on Daughter Gamer was seriously deficient. I was very Blue Pill when she was growing up. However, I knew that SIL was a basket case going in to the marriage. He was a flight attendant and told DG that he had never kissed a girl. Not bad looking, though, and he could carry on a convo. I still got a beautiful granddaughter out of the deal, so I’m… Read more »

Sentient
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ASD

Briefly because I don’t enjoy hurting kittens…

A male flight attendant that never kissed a girl? We have a word for that: gay.

On training be insufficient… Well your admonitions and citing the Bard left out the fact that all your hope in this is wannabeeism or just straight KJ…

So we can dispense with this henceforth.

Grandkids? That’s your Trump card?

I have five kids, all in school ATM. I’ve no doubt there will be 10 to 20 grandkids down the line.

theasdgamer
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Beds made will be layed in…

Yep. My goal of grandkids achieved despite the pathetic cards I was holding. Now I’m gaming SIL and he’s coming to me, along with his mother and father. Daughter Gamer is an alpha widow to me, despite my blue pill past. (Nonsexual, of course, to prevent the pervasive pervs. I alliterate all over myself.) So SIL has to listen to me because he doesn’t want a divorce.

theasdgamer
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A male flight attendant that never kissed a girl? We have a word for that: gay. Indeed, but strangely enough, he was interviewed on national tv about his anti-gay stand. He’s not effeminate and he’s tall and fair complexioned. Swiss-German and very devout. Mennonite background. Doesn’t drink. He was a flight attendant on military charters. Burned up a shed when he was a boy, so he shows some masculine traits. But very blue pill in a churchian sense. His dad told him, “true love waits.” I recognize some of my former blue pill aggressiveness in him, so I empathize somewhat… Read more »

Student
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@ASD

Don’t Mennonites reject military service?

boulderhead
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@Studley

“Just because they identify as Christian doesn’t make it so. And even if they did that figure is lower than average among men. I wonder how tight their survey methodology was etc….”

I was surprised that 68% of men that identify as christians were honest enough to admit it.

As for myself brother I’m Christian and have never told a lie or masturbated.

Student
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@boulderhead

I was referring to the protestants and other such disqualifications

Sentient
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Student

Can we speed up the True Scotsman stuff and fast forward to the Killing In The Name Of?

Student
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@Sentient

“Can we speed up the True Scotsman stuff and fast forward to the Killing In The Name Of?”

Evidently not. First you must learn when the fallacy applies. I didn’t say that no Christians masturbate so excluding protestants etc doesn’t protect a universal generalisation.

Therefore no fallacy

boulderhead
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@Estudio

“I was referring to the protestants and other such disqualifications”

They never watch porn not even on friday so you can take them out of the equation,unless of course they don’t and say they did just to fit in like in rome do as the romans do.

Catholics admit to everything but only in booths, but don’t fuck with the KKK they are the buryin baptists.

Student
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@boulderhead

Well I do find them more intellectually plausible than these psychological studies.

Do you know how many of these have been conducted. All with different results.

Apparently all men watch porn without exception not just christians:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html

kfg
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kfg
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“The study found that men watched pornography that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or distasteful.”

Your tax dollars at work.

boulderhead
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@Estudio

“I was referring to the protestants and other such disqualifications”

Thou dost protestant to muchly!

Student
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@kfg

Perhaps you prefer to experiment

Student
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@boulderhead

christus imperat

No protesting

kfg
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kfg
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“No protesting”

Become fishers of men. Christus imperat.

theasdgamer
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Don’t Mennonites reject military service?

I guess. He comes from a Mennonite family even though he is Baptist. He worked for a civilian company that operated charters for the military, so he wasn’t in the military. I haven’t heard him say anything pacifist.

theasdgamer
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As for myself brother I’m Christian and have never told a lie or masturbated.

Lol

Incubus_Rising
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@ex cartoonist: Just read Rollo’s essays here. The comments section has become a cesspool.

Sooner or later you will figure out what to do with this information.

The pareto principle applies to Rollo’s readership too. 20 percent will go PUA and 80 percent will go MGTOW.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Cesspool?

80% mgtow?

20% pua?

Egads!!!!!!!!!!!

😂😂😂😂

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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I figured out 40 years ago that Jesus himself would recognize what ” Christians ” do in his name, while professing to accept/see him as their savior. Religion is pretty fucked up, but folks need ….things. And they need to assemble in buildings….with suits….And come together….And judge. People tend to ruin shit when everybody latches on and makes a routine out of it. I’ve met very few people that match up with What I’ve read in the new testament. Maybe it’s reading comprehension, or maybe it’s the messengers in the church. But imo, there’s a giant canyon between religion and… Read more »

theasdgamer
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The boys have been seriously damaged, Blax.

theasdgamer
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That’s some serious virtue signaling there, Blax.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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I don’t know about this ” virtue signalling ” shit.😂 I’m strictly stating my point of view as I like to do whenever confronted with the ” I’m a Christian ” bullshit.

So.what?

I’m a Leo.

Fred Flange, GBFC (Great Books For Cucks)
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“Women want to stop having to fuck Betas”. And bit by bit the evidence accumulates to support this proposition: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/young-women-are-talking-about-consent-social-venues-are-following-n950186 Alphas – and those who profess and call themselves Alphas (in training at the very least) – will be able to learn to work around this. The other poor saps, those locked into the #yesyoutoo paradigm, meaning your collegiate and workplace sons — won’t be allowed to. For our newbie Students hung up on debating the morality that ought to govern men’s behavior in the SMP I will again Gregorian Chant the mantra you should love cherish and obey, courtesy… Read more »

O.B.I.T.
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@ex cartoonist
Wouldn’t drawing be a handy way to meet people, start a conversation, make yourself intriguing and approachable?

j
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j
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“I haven’t held doors for most of them For a long time now.” I have this move I like to do every so often, where whenever were walking together, approaching a door, I let them walk a few steps in front of me. And as they’re about to get the door, I rush up “wait!” to get in front of her and open the door myself. Then motion like I’m about to hold the door for them to go in, by bowing my head and saying “after…” Then quickly, before they have a chance to go in, I say “me”,… Read more »

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