At the end of September last year I gave two talks at the 10th annual 21 Convention in Orlando, Florida. This probably isn’t news to any of my regular readers as it was the only in-person appearance I did last year. My first talk was a familiar one – Hypergamy; Micro to Macro – and was an updated version of the talk I delivered at the Man in Demand Conference in 2015. I’m happy to announce that the video of this dissertation is almost ready to go live on the 21 University site. I should also mention that this video marks the first time I’ve put my real face out in the wild so be gentle.
Before this video is made public I wanted to address some of the more common (and often deliberate) misconceptions about Hypergamy I read floating around Twitter, more than a few Red Pill forums and the blogs of Purple Pill ‘life coaches’ who need to dismiss Hypergamy as a ‘thing’ in order to keep their clientele mired in Blue Pill Disney dreams coming true. Some of these are honest mistakes, and some are just the opinions of guys who only see one side of the Hypergamous equation. A lot of critics think Hypergamy is all there is to Red Pill awareness, and while it’s true that women’s sexual strategies extrapolate a great deal into our social order, there’s a lot more to understanding intersexual dynamics than just wrapping your head around Hypergamy.
I’ve written about Hypergamy for as long as this blog’s existed (I own the google search term) and as new readers become initiated in the Red Pill I can’t expect them to have read every essay describing the ins and outs of Hypergamy. So in the interests of clearing the air and consolidating all of these misunderstandings for everyone benefit – and to refute the disingenuous – I’m going to run down the most common Hypergamous hate I see here.
Hypergamy is a Straightjacket
This is easily the most common misperception I read. Hypergamy is an evolved social dynamic. That is to say it is the behavioral extension of biological factors; most notably Ovulatory Shift. I’ll delve into this in the 21 Convention talk, and I’ve covered this in Your Friend Menstruation, but Hypergamy is a sexual strategy exclusive to women. It is the behavioral manifestation complementary to women’s hormonal and biological realities. Hypergamy at its root level is about the most efficacious, pragmatic, means of women becoming fertile with the best genetic breeding opportunities, and simultaneously pairing in the long term provisioning opportunities available to a woman.
To a strictly deductive, analytical mindset Hypergamy seems a lot like a straightjacket. If you measure up, you’re golden. If you don’t, you’re fucked. This reflex is a binary either / or extreme and as such it paints Hypergamy as something insurmountable and very deterministic. I will admit, I’ve read some Red Pill guys either triumphantly or defeatedly cop to this idea about Hypergamy. What both fail to consider is women’s individual capacity to optimize Hypergamy in relative contrast to their own SMV. I’ve seen low SMV Pickup Artists pull off what to this mindset should be impossible. There is so much more to Hypergamy than just what a man’s looks presents. There are factors and circumstances that can circumvent Hypergamy, and there is nothing deterministic about it. Yes, Hypergamy is often ruthless, but resigning oneself to binary extremes about it gets men nowhere.
Hypergamy is only defined as “marrying upward”
This is a pedantic dismissal of a phenomenon based on semantics. Yes, the original term was developed to describe women’s “tendency to marry upwardly into higher socioeconomic strata” by sociologists, but the term deserves a much broader definition in light of the biological and psychological realities we observe in women today. We could create some new term that would describe the phenomenon, but Hypergamy would describe it in the abstract just as well. Critics resorting to this dismissal only seek to discredit the one proposing an idea based on terminology.
Some women are more Hypergamous than others
This is usually trotted out by the ‘not all women are like that‘ critics, and a lot of these are, of course, women. But there are also the ‘Quality Woman‘ seekers who want to believe that their unicorn woman wouldn’t be as Hypergamous as most slutty skanks on a constant lookout for the bigger and better deal. Hypergamy in this case takes on a aspect of social conditioning and becomes a part of women’s personality.
While it is true that acculturation and learned social practices can be a buffer against Hypergamous excesses in women, it doesn’t lessen or dissolve Hypergamy’s influence in women. Just as men’s sexuality is learned to be reigned in, so too can Hypergamy be learned to be controlled. Needless to say in our post-sexual revolution era Fempowerment has effectively unfettered that buffer for women. Learning Hypergamous restraint is viewed as some male chauvinistic repression of women’s sexuality, but the truth is we are expecting women to self-police their own Hypergamy (with no real instruction). We hope that women will effectively select against their Hypergamous best interest in exercising that control, and today men pay the price for that foolishness.
All women are Hypergamous. Some have learned to curb its excesses, some live in a cultural environment that moderates it for them, but all women are Hypergamous to the same biologically inspired degree. All that changes is the context in which Hypergamy is expressed in women.
Both men and women are Hypergamous
I covered this fallacy in False Equivalencies, but to recap it briefly, Hypergamy is a sexual strategy unique to women. Women have attraction floors for men with whom they will breed and/or settle into pair bonding with. Women only consider an equal to, or better than, arrangement with regard to sexual market value of a man in contrast to (what they perceive as) their own. Men will date and have sex with women who are sometimes 2 to 3 steps below their own SMV. Hypergamy never seeks its own level; women seek an advantage in the mating game, men simply want to reproduce. This is what defines each sex’s imperatives.
Men and women are different in various facets. It is the equalist mindset that presupposes we are the same (or more alike than different) and because of this the False Equivalency argument is always the go-to response to Hypergamy in women. The equalist believes that if women are Hypergamous then men, being equals, must also be as well. Really, this is a retort intended to refocus an unflattering truth about women onto men to even the scales and make men’s pointing out Hypergamy an equal shame. This false equivalency is also used for many other unflattering truths unique to women, so don’t be fooled.
Hypergamy is overemphasized in the manosphere
I see this more and more because as women openly embrace Hypergamy in a public sphere this leads to men becoming more sensitive to their (often ugly) roles in that strategy. There’s a real want to mitigate the importance Hypergamy plays in men’s lives because most men don’t like the idea of being controlled. Which then goes back to the straightjacket notion. Men accept Hypergamy, but they refuse to see it’s larger influence on social and political dynamics. I wrote about this in The Political is Personal. It’s almost impossible not to be accused of being conspiratorial, but in a feminine-primary, gynocentric social order it is women’s interests that define what is ‘correct’ discourse.
We read all the time about how western (millennial) society has become overly PC (politically correct), but I would argue that we are overly female correct. When women are afforded unchecked power their first imperative is controlling men to accommodate the Feminine Imperative. Women’s Hypergamous interests influence and dictate legislation and political discourse. It may not be something most men want to consider. Most guys in the sphere are only focusing on women they know personally, but there is a larger social narrative that is inspired by women optimizing Hypergamy.
Hypergamy only applies to men with the best social / provisioning status
I’ve seen this one-sided perspective promoted by Dr. Jordan Peterson. The idea is that, in women’s natural beneficence, they will only be attracted to the man with the best capacity to provide for her long term security and parental investment. This idea myopically ignores the Alpha Fucks side of the Hypergamous equation. This concept is very complimentary to women and usually guys who limit their definition of Hypergamy to the inherent goodness of women also tend to think of Alpha in terms of men being pro-social, leaders of business and community. This is false on many levels, but it’s very virtue-satisfying for men who believe that they’ll eventually be rewarded by women (quality women of course) who will after time think “nothing’s sexier”. I should also say that this fallacy is very popular for Betas in Waiting.
It’s men who are responsible for Hypergamy
This is a reversal of the origins of Hypergamy, but from a socially constructed perspective. I see a lot of well meaning Red Pill moralist men trot this out as a complement to (again) their hope that women might ever find their virtuousness at all attractive. This fallacy presupposes that men are the real power distributors and the nebulous Patriarchy women complain of is something a majority of men are in someway in control of. It also reverses the origins of male dominance hierarchies. It presumes those hierarchies exist separate from the women who actually perpetuate them with their own Hypergamy and upward sexual selection.
This appeals to men who’ve bought into the ‘Man Up for the Red Pill’ ideology. Women are only as Hypergamous as men allow them to be. While there’s some truth in that in certain cultural contexts, it is women who are deciding for themselves how Hypergamous they wish to be today, and they’ve got the full force of the law and social norms to enforce their choices. While I’m all for men establishing a dominant frame that women naturally want from men, I think it’s unnecessarily self-defeating to believe that women don’t understand how their own sexual strategy works and are responsible for it.
Hypergamy means only 20% of men will ever get laid
Newsflash: Beta men can and do get laid. This is one concern that a lot of critics think is promoting self-defeat in men newly exposed to Red Pill awareness. The concern is that, again, men will become despondent because they’ll classify themselves as one of the 80% of guys who don’t get laid or women would rather not sleep with, because Hypergamy. This theme is actually carried over to a lot of these misconceptions; PUAs and Purple Pill ‘coaches’ alike are concerned that their clients will just give up and go MGTOW because that Rollo guy showed them the ugliest side of Hypergamy and they’re hopeless.
First off, nothing could be further from the truth. Second, this fallacy stupidly (binarily) ignores the individual circumstances of women at the various stages of life. Not all women can get with that guy in the 20th percentile for any number of reasons. Thirdly, the primary edict of this blog and the Red Pill in general is using this information to better a man’s life on a by-man basis. If anything, being exposed to Red Pill truths like Hypergamy should embolden men to become more than they are in a new paradigm based on Red Pill truth rather than Blue Pill false hope – hope that, unfortunately, a lot of Purple Pill coaches are selling.
Hypergamy requires trust on the part of women
No, it really doesn’t. What this premise ignores is the dual nature of Hypergamy, and trust has nothing to do with the sexual urgency a woman feels for a guy who represents a 2-3 level bump in SMV compared to her own while she’s in the proliferative phase of her menstrual cycle. Trust, rapport and comfort are post-orgasm feelings. These are reserved for the Beta Provisioning side of Hypergamy and ones women usually associate with their luteal phase of menstruation. This is why the Betas women trust are the first guys they call to cry to about the guy they fucked who had no trust prerequisite. This fallacy is just stupid, but it does illustrate the Hypergamous process from both sides.
Men should stay ignorant of Hypergamy for their own good
This again goes back to the idea that men (usually Blue Pill Beta men) who know too much about the visceral aspects of Hypergamy will naturally become despondent and go MGTOW or worse, kill themselves in the thinking that they’ll never measure up. If you’re at all familiar with my writing you’ll know that I think the only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. As I’ve said many times, the truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make it pretty. It also doesn’t absolve a man of the responsibility that comes along with that truth. I get that guys are hopeful that they can find a magic formula that’ll get them their dream girls without much effort. Telling them that’s not gonna work for them makes them hopeless because they still cling to Blue Pill ideals being resolved with Red Pill truths.
This is where guys get the notion of ‘leagues‘ and that they don’t qualify for certain women because they’re out of their league. As I stated earlier a lot of the “keep the guys in the dark” notion is really a misguided way of supposedly helping a guy become something more by keeping him ignorant.
Hypergamy give women an “out” for bad, evil treatment of men
This is a play on the personal responsibility trope. I covered this in Our Sisters’ Keeper. It really comes down to the capacity men believe women have or don’t have with regard to their personal agency. This returns us to the question of women’s Hypoagency:
Hypoagency – the idea that certain individuals (e.g. women) lack agency in their own actions.They lack control. They are not actors … rather, they are acted upon. The corollary to that argument being that they are not responsible for their own actions. Yet the cultural narrative of the omni-empowered, Strong Independent Woman® is completely at odds with exactly women’s hypoagency with regard to rape. They are powerful and purposeful when it serves and entirely unaccountable and blameless when it’s not convenient.
There was a time when the book The Selfish Gene was being bandied around the manosphere and the concern was men might use the premises of the selfish gene to absolve them of cheating on their girlfriends or used as an excuse to pursue one woman after the other. They couldn’t help it, it was written into their DNA. The same argument is now used by (mainly moralist) men who promote the reverse of the idea that men are responsible for Hypergamy. Thus, women being acted upon by a Hypergamy that’s written into their DNA can use it as an excuse for the worst behavior and ugliest results imaginable to men. The logic then follows that women are either active agents and have moral agency or they lack that agency and need men to provide the self-control women are incapable of.
Personally, I believe its a combination of the two; women do have agency for which they should be responsible and accountable for, but also, men need to provide a confident dominant frame under which women want to submit and be associated with. It is not men’s fault that women are Hypergamous, but if there is to be a healthy control of it for the best interests of both men and women, men must understand it and master it. I would say the same of men’s own sexuality and sexual expression – however, we are already overwhelmingly held accountable for not mastering it.
Women aren’t slaves to Hypergamy
This is one more question of women’s agency. Just as hypoagency and the biological element of Hypergamy can be used to socially absolve women of the responsibilities of it, so too can women’s awareness of their own Hypergamy be another way to excuse bad behavior. Again, it’s about personal responsibility. I’ve never stated that women are “slaves” to Hypergamy. I have explored women’s conscious awareness of their behaviors being influenced by their innate Hypergamy. Most women don’t realize they are giving a guy a shit test, it’s part of their limbic subroutines. Most women don’t consciously plan their girls’ night out around the proliferative phase of their menstrual cycle. They largely do, but they don’t realize the coordination. Women aren’t slaves to Hypergamy, but they aren’t immune to its subconscious influence, and this applies to your “good girl”, your trad-con “Red Pill” woman and your “Quality Woman”.
Women are Hypergamous, men are hypogamous
Here we have another attempt to confirm a false equivalency in the hopes that some egalitarian balance might be found between men and women. I’ve heard Purple Pill men trot this one out occasionally: Hypogamy is the idea that men must marry down, or the increasing tendency for women to marry down in the face of men’s socioeconomic status being less than that of women’s. The salient point is that there is no biological element in men that would suggest anything about men opting for hypogamy. This is simply another effort to balance Hypergamy for an egalitarian mindset. I’m not suggesting hypogamy isn’t a thing, just that it’s a sociological phenomenon. Mens biological imperative is unlimited access to unlimited sexuality, and this we can see manifested in their own behavior. Men don’t seek out hypogamous circumstances as a point of their imperative. Sometimes that may be the result, but again this is an extrinsic circumstance not an evolved drive.
Hypergamy should end after marriage
Oh man, wouldn’t that be nice? Actually no, it would put men and women into a state of personal stagnation. While I try never to deal in “should be” I do recognize that there are still guys who still believe that all the anxiety they felt in their dating years should fade to unconditional comfort after they get married. This is false for many reasons, but then there is the extreme reversal of this; “Aww man if I’m not the highest apex Alpha in my wife’s world she’ll cheat on me with him as soon as her proliferative phase comes around.”
Some critics like to overplay this stupid binary to prove that “women are people too” and Hypergamy isn’t even a thing for them once they’ve settled in with a great guy like you. Hypergamy is alway in effect for women by order of degree; marriage is no insulation from the sexual market place, you fool yourself in ever getting comfortable (or vulnerable). Guys who buy into this fallacy are usually equalists who believe their Burden of Performance ended when they said “I do”.
Now, that said, it’s not all gloom and doom. If you’ve established a strong dominant frame prior to marriage Hypergamy actually works in your favor. The same studies that showed women in unsatisfying LTRs or marriages sought out extra-pair sex with more masculine men also showed that women in satisfying relationships were more sexually proceptive (horny) for the men they were paired with when in their prime ovulatory phase.
Hypergamy is only about Alpha Fucks
Another type of critic likes to overplay the importance of looks and Alpha dominance in the Hypergamous equation. I’m of the opinion that looks and confident dominance (bordering on cocky arrogance) stimulates tingles in the most natural visceral way, but that’s not the entirety of the Hypergamous equation. As most PUAs will belabor, looks without congruence in behavior can actually be anti-seductive. Looks will cover a multitude of Game sins, but Game and generating an emotional impact in a woman is always the keystone. There are two sides to Hypergamy, Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks. In today’s world women’s primary focus is on the Alpha Fucks side of the equation, but it doesn’t mean the Beta Bucks provisioning side has been erased.
Hypergamy isn’t so important, you’re overstating things
I get this from Purple Pill guys, PUAs and women – guys who obsess over Hypergamy are reactionary losers. And to them I’ll once again point out the story of Daniella Greene, the FBI translator who left her military husband to marry the very ISIS fighter she’d been tasked to investigate. Watch the video at this link and then think about how many Red Pill truths this story confirms. Think about the far greater scope and importance an understanding of Red Pill intersexual dynamics and how Hypergamy factors into what was an international incident that threatened national security. Are we just going to say “well, bitches be crazy, she must be damaged” or do we see the mechanics behind her actions with a Red Pill Lens? This is only one example of the scope of the importance a developed Red Pill awareness should mean to men.
Look at the significance to which Hypergamy influences everything from divorce laws to child custody to even abortion. Hypergamy is a much larger dynamic than most men really want to digest. It’s not being reactionary to see the forest for the trees here.
You pronounce Hyper-gamee wrong, thus you are uneducated and your information is flawed.
Ok, you got me, disregard everything on this blog then.
“All considerations of faith aside, I cannot fathom an adult man with any self-respect finding anything attractive about the modern church. Either there is nothing for him there or he is despised and denigrated, openly in a faith altering way or discreetly in resentment, or in pandering ridicule of his juvenilized maleness”. – Rollo Tomassi”
Without hope or fear,,, Forging through it with acceptance in self confidence.
“openly in a faith altering way or discreetly in resentment,
or in pandering ridicule of his juvenilized maleness”
“I cannot fathom an adult man with any self-respect finding anything attractive about the modern church. Either there is nothing for him there or he is despised and denigrated”
“Either there is nothing for him there or he is despised and denigrated, openly in a faith altering way or discreetly in resentment, or in pandering ridicule of his juvenilized maleness”
Sometimes it is poetic justice…
Female rape fantasies and Aziz. https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/01/how-a-movement-becomes-a-racket/551036/ Babe explains to readers that rape fantasies serve lots of worthy sexual desires: “You want to know you’re wanted” (“A Clinical Psychologist Revealed Why Women Have Rape Fantasies and It’s Totally Fascinating”); “What I like about rape fantasies is the loss of control” (“These Women Revealed Why They’re Into Rape Fantasies”); “It’s all about ‘sexual desirability’” (“There’s a Major Rape Fantasy Sub-Culture Out There That’s Pretty Intense”); “I hear how rape fantasies can be exciting and fun, even for those who have been raped. It’s not an unhealthy expression of sexuality” (“A Sexologist Explains… Read more »
@Rollo, this is a great video on HOLDING FRAME AGAINST THE EMPATHY TRAP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erYboYcxx2A
Tasty nuggets from “Thot” Catalog:
This one says screw tingles, go for security and wait for the Beta:
This one says fuck security, go for the tingles, nothing but Alpha:
Hey you guys I think further back in this or the last article, you guys talked about meeting and organizing and something called TOR that’s supposed to help you stay anonymous on the net? How can I find out more about TOR?
Sometimes there’s just no ” chemistry ” between a man and a woman. Both men and women can be guilty of trying to press a relationship when there’s really no basis for doing so, because ” omg, hawt “. what I noticed more and more over the years, is a lot of people cannot even identity and understand their own feelings and emotions. And if you can’t read and understand your own emotions, good luck in being able to read and understand anyone else’s. So sometimes people only have rationalization to fill in. And being” strictly rational ” is not… Read more »
“Part of a man’s self improvement journey is identifying what you lack, and rectifying that situation. Gain proficiency. Then, if after gaining knowledge and understanding, you still have the option to say ” ahhh, fuck that shit ” ,but your decision will he an informed one.”
@ OBIT and boulderhead “The ones in hookup bars may be the desperate ones, but the others could be making house calls during the day“ House calls…maybe…though the lion’s share of low sex married women around here are unattractive, they let themselves go that much. I mean unhappy unattractive too. Women are despairing, don’t feel a need to be attractive anymore and the weight gain and loss of sexual momentum are symptoms of depression. Not exactly Alpha bait, so the women start a spiral of depression/anxiety to comfort eating to weight gain to medical issues round and round. All this… Read more »
“You get where I’m going. Women need to be in the blind too as what would sustain their satisfaction. Satisfaction doesnt elicit disposable income spending, funding of nonprofit social justice groups.”
“We laugh at this weekend womyn march, but it is pretty pathetic in these women aren’t celebrating, They are dispairing. They got their provisioning without the AF. AF just doesn’t exist for most women.
Dispair is displayed as frustrated anger mostly, or indignation but not action.”
The above actress…
“Movies are the way we process our being alive.”
Lol solipsism. If I act it you experience it. The exact same tripe wwkkd was writing.
@Eh Just because body = curvy( fat) she is still looking for excitement.. I’m 46yrs married female, looking for FWB. Not able to host but other arrangements can be made. I’m 29 And In A Relationship That Is Going No Where. Just Looking For Something Nsa. Could Be Once Or Could Be On Going. If You Send Pic I’ll Reply With One But No Faces As I Have To Be Discreet……….I Can Host…..Right Now.Text Your # Number (*)**()Married~~ f()r~~ Married**(*) …Husband out of Home , Need to lolipop lickarr.. hide this posting body: curvy height: 5’6″ (167cm) status: married age:… Read more »
Yes…yes… boulderhead. I don’t deny it’s happening.
I deny she’s getting high quality dudes through the door.
“I deny she’s getting high quality dudes through the door.”
I keep forgetting about the blue pill having never needed one.
Viagra is the new wonder drug for unattractive women, she thinks it is for her when, who knows. The new pretty comercials, swimsuit models ect. tend to normalize low quality women and every man knows desire sex goes up as her smv goes down.
Listen to Naomi in the vid, she was raised by a rabid feminist who was filling her head with fantastic and mythological ideas about womyn. She says, “I arrived not being able to imagine anything a woman can’t do” – LMFAO. Says it all about womyn’s entitlement in the 21st century? As a man I know there are a zillion things I cannot or won’t be able to do. My available options are always constrained by so many realities, in fact one could say that men spend as much time figuring out what they can’t or shouldn’t do as they… Read more »
This is lol.
“I’m 29 And In A Relationship That Is Going No Where.”
Oh, poor girl, she’s disappointed in lack of certainty in her present relationship.
Wait, my bad:
“Just Looking For Something Nsa.”
Thx Boulder. I enjoyed that personal ad. Funny.
“Bloated, exhausted, miserable – yet everyone applauded.”
The past weekend woman’s march defined.
maybe alpha, definitely BP… Send that man TRM stat!
“demand everything and anything they care to have”
You think they’re getting everything they actually want? Are they getting and giving desire sex? IMO, satisfied people tend not to lament their lives so.
A woman on the Woman’s March and why she likes being dominated by men.
But I rather like male dominance! What is it doing, this dominance, I mean? Because if it’s going down a dark path full of sticker bushes and clearing the way, I don’t mind it at all. Is it out in the cold conquering my broken water pipe? Slaying my oil change? Holding the door open for me?
There are many things in my life in desperate need of dominating.
I guess lol…but hey it beats being a complete beta bux
“I deny she’s getting high quality dudes through the door.” Exactly. It will be a bunch of thirsty guys desperate just to nut into something warm besides their own hand. Regarding women who get fat in an LTR. Seems if the man is leading properly and instilling enough dread and tingles she is going to want to make some effort at keeping in shape. I just can’t see any alpha or red pill guy accepting her getting fat. I told my gf flat out in dog language not to let herself ever get that way. Her reply was a typical… Read more »
…. I woulda told God I’d get back to him.
Seems if the man is leading properly and instilling enough dread and tingles she is going to want to make some effort at keeping in shape.
True. But go one further… only get with a girl LT who would rather die than get out of shape, let herself go, wear sweats all day, etc etc etc
Having the right standards up front will avoid a lot of trouble down the road.
Vetting they say…
For angry, despairing females few can top Dr. Janice Lester — driven mad with rage because women can’t be starship captains. Rather than march on Washington, she forcibly swaps bods with James Kirk, and promptly proves WHY women can’t be starship captains.
She does seem a bit reminiscent of Hillary, and her plans go about as well.
Of course if you filmed this today, 50 years later, you’d have to show her doing a brilliant job, saving the ship from crisis and being awarded a captaincy of her own
… will the true playa please stand up?
maybe alpha, definitely BP… Send that man TRM stat!
@Eh – Crossed wire here somehow, no of course they don’t get what they want, and hey, they are woman, what they say they want changes with the weather.
“Crossed wire here somehow, no of course they don’t get what they want, and hey, they are woman, what they say they want changes with the weather.”
Hard wired in solid state, give her what she says she wants and she will want more. Make her earn it first, then it has value.
Give it to her and she will become the gift that keeps on taking! What? LOL
“Hundreds of people have tried to get a table here, I’m not giving one of them a table and that is driving them mad”
Using scarcity, social proof and novelty to get a fake restaurant to be the number 1 rated spot in London on TripAdvisor:
“Using scarcity, social proof and novelty to get a fake restaurant to be the number 1 rated spot in London on TripAdvisor:”
Congrats on your rating, you win a free all expenses paid trip to Australia.
Yeah thought as much.
They are in-unison whining begging.
Only in BP world is that considered strength.
So what can we do about this???
What would you do with a whiny girlfriend?
Good overview of the shadow war suppressing free speech on Goooogle platforms.
@Nick Depends on whether you feel like you are sinking in quicksand, or you are soaring like an eagle with prey in sight. “So what can we do about this???” The answer is: Choose among the possibilities that present to you. Choose wisely with competence and confidence. You don’t have those attributes, get them by making choices, capitalizing and don’t regret making poor choices. Poor choices beget the attitude: never going to let that happen again. Good choices beget confidence to move forward. Being good at being a man and having confidence comes from having strength, courage and mastery, as… Read more »
@SJF Thanks for your response, actually this paradigm scares the shit out of me. Those are real awesome questions and I apretiate the perspective you gave me. I’ve been reading this page for 2 days and I cant stop for some reason, there is something here that bugs me a lot. If I am not at the top 20% means that girls will always be chosing one of those guys before me? I want to be top 20% I work on my self improvement, but for my self not for the girls. Seems pretty much that we are fucked up… Read more »
Blaximus January 22, 2018 at 1:04 pm Not a playa unless both girls are aware of the other. Big time playa if he can get them in bed together. My LTR enjoys beating the competition. So I keep her aware of every sign of interest. She does understand instant attraction. She had it bad 40 some years ago. Still does. So when some random girl radiates high interest she recalls her first attraction to me. It winds her up. Her strategy is not mate guarding in the usual sense. More like “go ahead, you will NEVER want him as much… Read more »
January 22, 2018 at 7:05 pm
How can I climb up in the scale?
Attitude, attitude, attitude.
Nick The reason you couldn’t keep the girls around was because you weren’t congruent and authentic with what those girls hooked up with you for. You let them down after the confidence and good looks, those only took you so far and they saw through your confidence and attitude. Perhaps you were bluffing? I want to be top 20% I work on my self improvement, but for my self not for the girls. Here’s a secret: Move toward that. (And don’t be discouraged it you don’t get there. Just fucking keep moving toward that. What’s the downside?) And please the… Read more »
“Real damn good, so there is no doubt you are worthy of desire, admiration and respect. And very fuck-able.”
Feminists Are Useful Idiots, And Doomed.
He discusses the suppression of dissent. The interview was done in 1984. 1984? Hmmmmmmmmm.
Practical Female Psychology For The Practical Man
How To NOT Become A Beta Male
TL;DW version – don’t be harmless.
Nick “If I use this paradigm those women shouldnt have been with me, but that happened, however I’ve find a hard time keeping them around. Maybe its because I dont fall in the top tier.” You misunderstand hypergamy. It’s the motive for why you couldn’t keep them around, i.e. the trade up and on. It’s not that you couldn’t present a simulcrum to them, i.e. game learned or natural, to get them in bed. They want that 20% and will make some test runs… “Fake it till you make it” works until you either make it, or can’t keep faking… Read more »
@SJF Hi SJF Yeah Im new, Im 30. I really dont know how to make a good measure of my SMV. Any resource would be awesome, I’ve find out a test around, but its a piece of crap. I think my main goals right now is to feel better about myself, finishing ontologic coaching career, improve in my work. Improving my body, I’ve been hitting the gym for years and I’ve never get ripped and never gained a lot of muscular mass. And I want to believe that the highest value a man can have is who he is, and… Read more »
Attitude and Confidence are not a “cause”, but an “effect”.
A man needs to possess some source of power (looks, money, fame, strong frame) which when combined with Game gives him “Confidence”. And only then the “Attitude” will be authentic.
You can’t just wake up one day and say “I’m confident now”, so I will now have “cocky attitude”. This is a recipe for disaster and an invitation to get one’s ass kicked.
The question to ask oneself is – “What is your source of power?”
Hey Nick, welcome aboard. You have a handle on your shortcomings. O.k. what are your strengths? Focus on those and eliminate negatives as you can on the side. Social anxiety…there are guys here who have dealt with that and can help. The road to your goal is as long as you’d like it to be. Most guys here can’t talk about their journey publicly as it flies in the face of polite society. Keep that in mind too as you start seeing gains in you. You’ll want to share your new skills with others who aren’t ready. Don’t do it… Read more »
Lastly, post some brutally honest field reports. The feedback is solid.
The BP world has a way of messing with your mind, your priorities if you let it.
@Nick: “I really dont know how to make a good measure of my SMV. ”
You don’t. Women do.
There you go Nick. You can put on a show for others. But you know you are lying to yourself. And your cognitive brain is calling your soul out for being too young and sneaky. You got some disharmony going on.
Your’e putting on a show that is non-congruent and inauthentic.
“In today’s world women’s primary focus is on the Alpha Fucks side of the equation, but it doesn’t mean the Beta Bucks provisioning side has been erased.”
Well…not if you’d talk to the Women’s March lady:
“We want to ensure that this country knows women are not happy,” co-founder Tamika Mallory said. “And when we get angry, change happens. We make things happen.”
O.k. What y’all got in mind? An Alpha for every lady?
Nah, more the same underwhelming Beta provisioning:
“The salient point is that there is no biological element in men that would suggest anything about men opting for hypogamy.” When a woman’s value is aesthetics solely, then men tend to fall hypogamously. Alphas do better, but Jack Sprat syndrome is the norm. As written here, LTR’s with women SMV-2 rest on firmer footing. Dread is preinstalled, she’ll auto mate-guard. We intuitively sort ourselves such. For simplicity’s sake…if provisioning ability is Beta, bang-ability Alpha…I want my LTR woman to bring the best of both. It ain’t all HB factor. There’s consequence to a women’s intellectual, emotional genome too. I… Read more »
@Nick You’ve come to the right place. I’ll look at a few things you said. — You kinda “have trouble keeping them around.” SJF mentioned being “congruent and authentic” — be yourself, your good strong self. One more big lesson here at TRM is that a woman will remain more into you when she knows you have other options and she is not your one and only. The idea that other women are into you too seems to light her fire. So just work on generating those other opportunities, confidently meeting more women, and the “keeping them around” will begin… Read more »
“What is your source of power?”
“Most guys here can’t talk about their journey publicly as it flies in the face of polite society. Keep that in mind too as you start seeing gains in you. You’ll want to share your new skills with others who aren’t ready.”
I failed at this and went into a trap… He’s correct
Another two good questions
Ask these two look within yourself and work on what you can.
Thanks SJF, I am thinking actually thinking on that, thanks all of you guys for the answers! You are giving me a lot to improve!!
@rugby: Mate, you read too much and you watch way too many videos. It is good for the guys you share all this with here who will pick and choose which videos they want to see.
But too much wisdom is “anti-seductive” to women. I hope it does not effect you GAME.
Don’t over complicate things.
I bet there are no hot chicks waiting in line outside Jordon Peterson’s house to get banged.
“But too much wisdom is “anti-seductive” to women. I hope it does not effect you GAME.
Don’t over complicate things.”
Well said man well said
You can’t fix crazy. And our culture is becoming insane. Being raped or “raped” is now a badge of honor. #MeToo. Damaged women are creating a toxic culture that will likely be fatal.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/01/22/ruth-bader-ginsburg-shocks-sundance-crowd-with-her-own-metoo-story.html Is Ruth Bader Ginsberg now admitting that she cheated in college and was scholastically dishonest? Did she in fact obtain answers to test questions prior to taking the tests as she is now telling the entire world sixty or so years later? What did she do with the answers? What really happened (or not) between her and this professor over sixty years ago? Was she engaged by, or did she engage other professors in this manner? Should we all believe only her account without any questions? Why? Is she beyond reproach simply because she is female? Are we supposed… Read more »
From the video at:
January 23, 2018 at 10:26 am
Jordan; “There is nothing more dangerous than a weak man.”
nbtm – legit questions
unfortunately, all rhetorical
presumably, RBG has had a loooonnnggg career hearing complex, nuanced arguments and appreciating that there are multiple sides to the truth, sometimes seemingly at odds with each other
but for her (and most others with similar power) on a perch of omnipotence, she is afforded a different standard has also chided many others for their temerity in not recognizing this
nbtm is right to question her just like any plebeian would be; to give her credit beyond her actual accomplishments is exactly like asking an nfl player who to vote for president
I found I can simultaneously anger and humor women with this:
I’m like the Patriots cuz Tom Brady’s got Geisele AND a baby mama.
The LTR always complimented me on my hard face.
It is explained in the video. About 3 1/2 minutes.
Look at Jordan Peterson at the beginning of this video. He has a very hard face.
“He (Peterson) has a very hard face.” Forget Danny Amendola, at 00:30 here JP looks like an absolute drop-dead stud — in contrast with his usual Mr Reasonable expression. Of course anyone would look good next to the clownshow put together for that round-table. Loved Peterson @ Paglia, what a dream team. Two adults making sense instead of the usual media shit-stirring. I liked her point about men and women not working together historically or naturally. If my LTR and I have to do a big project together we maintain safe distance by alternating stages of the project or working… Read more »
from Rollo’s tweet
Ruth Bader Ginsburg shocks Sundance crowd with her own #MeToo story
The LTR always complimented me on my hard face.
Interesting. I’ve been accused of having a mean look, or a death look. In pick up, having a firm or neutral expression is very effective, especially when closing space and lasering.
I do also have a nice smile, when I smile.
But don’t sit there grinning like an idiot first. A firm expression is… discerning. It places the girl on the back foot. Gets the hamster wheel spinning “what is he thinking?”.
“A mean look … and a nice smile.” Well there you have it — it’s the contrast that works. The uncertainty (hers not yours)
There’s a long, famous close-up of Greta Garbo, holding a deadly serious gaze out to sea as the movie ends in defeat. The director told her, “Just think of nothing.”
BTW, was it you who told me Esther Perel’s brain “gives me a boner” — can I borrow that for Camille Paglia too?
Re: procrastination and “laziness”, you should go read The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It’s long been an excellent book on the subject. Breaks down the psychology of procrastination then gives you concrete steps to overcome it. I reflexively recommend it to anyone who mentions having that problem.
Not me. No girl’s brain would do that for me…!
OK, maybe it was SJF. At any rate, Paglia’s a refreshing change after all that Cathy Newman et al
I can appreciate Paglia’s brain, but I’d have to spike her tea with quaaludes if I had to keep around the house for much more than five minutes.
I can appreciate Paglia’s brain,
As an antidote to RBG I bring you. “Butch” Paglia.
The “Butch” picture came from: http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/features/camille-paglia-i-dont-get-along-with-lesbians-at-all-they-dont-like-me-and-i-dont-like-them-8076611.html
January 23, 2018 at 1:47 pm
The interesting thing about that is that changing your face is easier than bulking up. A change of attitude is required. A job where instant death if you are not careful – or someone else isn’t – is a good antidote for callowness. Me? Three years in an outlaw MC gang. Getting a job cutting trees is probably easier..Even being an electrician. Or a stint in a packing house.
We are a long way from the era when even beta men (well, a lot of them) were hard men.
And that got me thinking. WW2 Alpha-upped a lot of Beta men. Everyone in the war – including clerks got respect. That may have had a little to do with the Baby Boom.
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This reporter couldn’t resist. Yeah…. Women love doing too, but only towards really attractive men. Federer is nearly a demigod at this time.