Hypergamy – The Misconceptions

At the end of September last year I gave two talks at the 10th annual 21 Convention in Orlando, Florida. This probably isn’t news to any of my regular readers as it was the only in-person appearance I did last year. My first talk was a familiar one – Hypergamy; Micro to Macro – and was an updated version of the talk I delivered at the Man in Demand Conference in 2015. I’m happy to announce that the video of this dissertation is almost ready to go live on the 21 University site. I should also mention that this video marks the first time I’ve put my real face out in the wild so be gentle.

Before this video is made public I wanted to address some of the more common (and often deliberate) misconceptions about Hypergamy I read floating around Twitter, more than a few Red Pill forums and the blogs of Purple Pill ‘life coaches’ who need to dismiss Hypergamy as a ‘thing’ in order to keep their clientele mired in Blue Pill Disney dreams coming true. Some of these are honest mistakes, and some are just the opinions of guys who only see one side of the Hypergamous equation. A lot of critics think Hypergamy is all there is to Red Pill awareness, and while it’s true that women’s sexual strategies extrapolate a great deal into our social order, there’s a lot more to understanding intersexual dynamics than just wrapping your head around Hypergamy.

I’ve written about Hypergamy for as long as this blog’s existed (I own the google search term) and as new readers become initiated in the Red Pill I can’t expect them to have read every essay describing the ins and outs of Hypergamy. So in the interests of clearing the air and consolidating all of these misunderstandings for everyone benefit – and to refute the disingenuous – I’m going to run down the most common Hypergamous hate I see here.

Hypergamy is a Straightjacket
This is easily the most common misperception I read. Hypergamy is an evolved social dynamic. That is to say it is the behavioral extension of biological factors; most notably Ovulatory Shift. I’ll delve into this in the 21 Convention talk, and I’ve covered this in Your Friend Menstruationbut Hypergamy is a sexual strategy exclusive to women. It is the behavioral manifestation complementary to women’s hormonal and biological realities. Hypergamy at its root level is about the most efficacious, pragmatic, means of women becoming fertile with the best genetic breeding opportunities, and simultaneously pairing in the long term provisioning opportunities available to a woman.

To a strictly deductive, analytical mindset Hypergamy seems a lot like a straightjacket. If you measure up, you’re golden. If you don’t, you’re fucked. This reflex is a binary either / or extreme and as such it paints Hypergamy as something insurmountable and very deterministic. I will admit, I’ve read some Red Pill guys either triumphantly or defeatedly cop to this idea about Hypergamy. What both fail to consider is women’s individual capacity to optimize Hypergamy in relative contrast to their own SMV. I’ve seen low SMV Pickup Artists pull off what to this mindset should be impossible. There is so much more to Hypergamy than just what a man’s looks presents. There are factors and circumstances that can circumvent Hypergamy, and there is nothing deterministic about it. Yes, Hypergamy is often ruthless, but resigning oneself to binary extremes about it gets men nowhere.

Hypergamy is only defined as “marrying upward”
This is a pedantic dismissal of a phenomenon based on semantics. Yes, the original term was developed to describe women’s “tendency to marry upwardly into higher socioeconomic strata” by sociologists, but the term deserves a much broader definition in light of the biological and psychological realities we observe in women today. We could create some new term that would describe the phenomenon, but Hypergamy would describe it in the abstract just as well. Critics resorting to this dismissal only seek to discredit the one proposing an idea based on terminology.

Some women are more Hypergamous than others
This is usually trotted out by the ‘not all women are like that‘ critics, and a lot of these are, of course, women. But there are also the ‘Quality Woman‘ seekers who want to believe that their unicorn woman wouldn’t be as Hypergamous as most slutty skanks on a constant lookout for the bigger and better deal. Hypergamy in this case takes on a aspect of social conditioning and becomes a part of women’s personality.

While it is true that acculturation and learned social practices can be a buffer against Hypergamous excesses in women, it doesn’t lessen or dissolve Hypergamy’s influence in women. Just as men’s sexuality is learned to be reigned in, so too can Hypergamy be learned to be controlled. Needless to say in our post-sexual revolution era Fempowerment has effectively unfettered that buffer for women. Learning Hypergamous restraint is viewed as some male chauvinistic repression of women’s sexuality, but the truth is we are expecting women to self-police their own Hypergamy (with no real instruction). We hope that women will effectively select against their Hypergamous best interest in exercising that control, and today men pay the price for that foolishness.

All women are Hypergamous. Some have learned to curb its excesses, some live in a cultural environment that moderates it for them, but all women are Hypergamous to the same biologically inspired degree. All that changes is the context in which Hypergamy is expressed in women.

Both men and women are Hypergamous
I covered this fallacy in False Equivalencies, but to recap it briefly, Hypergamy is a sexual strategy unique to women. Women have attraction floors for men with whom they will breed and/or settle into pair bonding with. Women only consider an equal to, or better than, arrangement with regard to sexual market value of a man in contrast to (what they perceive as) their own. Men will date and have sex with women who are sometimes 2 to 3 steps below their own SMV. Hypergamy never seeks its own level; women seek an advantage in the mating game, men simply want to reproduce. This is what defines each sex’s imperatives.

Men and women are different in various facets. It is the equalist mindset that presupposes we are the same (or more alike than different) and because of this the False Equivalency argument is always the go-to response to Hypergamy in women. The equalist believes that if women are Hypergamous then men, being equals, must also be as well. Really, this is a retort intended to refocus an unflattering truth about women onto men to even the scales and make men’s pointing out Hypergamy an equal shame. This false equivalency is also used for many other unflattering truths unique to women, so don’t be fooled.

Hypergamy is overemphasized in the manosphere
I see this more and more because as women openly embrace Hypergamy in a public sphere this leads to men becoming more sensitive to their (often ugly) roles in that strategy. There’s a real want to mitigate the importance Hypergamy plays in men’s lives because most men don’t like the idea of being controlled. Which then goes back to the straightjacket notion. Men accept Hypergamy, but they refuse to see it’s larger influence on social and political dynamics. I wrote about this in The Political is Personal. It’s almost impossible not to be accused of being conspiratorial, but in a feminine-primary, gynocentric social order it is women’s interests that define what is ‘correct’ discourse.

We read all the time about how western (millennial) society has become overly PC (politically correct), but I would argue that we are overly female correct. When women are afforded unchecked power their first imperative is controlling men to accommodate the Feminine Imperative. Women’s Hypergamous interests influence and dictate legislation and political discourse. It may not be something most men want to consider. Most guys in the sphere are only focusing on women they know personally, but there is a larger social narrative that is inspired by women optimizing Hypergamy.

Hypergamy only applies to men with the best social / provisioning status
I’ve seen this one-sided perspective promoted by Dr. Jordan Peterson. The idea is that, in women’s natural beneficence, they will only be attracted to the man with the best capacity to provide for her long term security and parental investment. This idea myopically ignores the Alpha Fucks side of the Hypergamous equation. This concept is very complimentary to women and usually guys who limit their definition of Hypergamy to the inherent goodness of women also tend to think of Alpha in terms of men being pro-social, leaders of business and community. This is false on many levels, but it’s very virtue-satisfying for men who believe that they’ll eventually be rewarded by women (quality women of course) who will after time think “nothing’s sexier”. I should also say that this fallacy is very popular for Betas in Waiting.

It’s men who are responsible for Hypergamy
This is a reversal of the origins of Hypergamy, but from a socially constructed perspective. I see a lot of well meaning Red Pill moralist men trot this out as a complement to (again) their hope that women might ever find their virtuousness at all attractive. This fallacy presupposes that men are the real power distributors and the nebulous Patriarchy women complain of is something a majority of men are in someway in control of. It also reverses the origins of male dominance hierarchies. It presumes those hierarchies exist separate from the women who actually perpetuate them with their own Hypergamy and upward sexual selection.

This appeals to men who’ve bought into the ‘Man Up for the Red Pill’ ideology. Women are only as Hypergamous as men allow them to be. While there’s some truth in that in certain cultural contexts, it is women who are deciding for themselves how Hypergamous they wish to be today, and they’ve got the full force of the law and social norms to enforce their choices. While I’m all for men establishing a dominant frame that women naturally want from men, I think it’s unnecessarily self-defeating to believe that women don’t understand how their own sexual strategy works and are responsible for it.

Hypergamy means only 20% of men will ever get laid
Newsflash: Beta men can and do get laid. This is one concern that a lot of critics think is promoting self-defeat in men newly exposed to Red Pill awareness. The concern is that, again, men will become despondent because they’ll classify themselves as one of the 80% of guys who don’t get laid or women would rather not sleep with, because Hypergamy. This theme is actually carried over to a lot of these misconceptions; PUAs and Purple Pill ‘coaches’ alike are concerned that their clients will just give up and go MGTOW because that Rollo guy showed them the ugliest side of Hypergamy and they’re hopeless.

First off, nothing could be further from the truth. Second, this fallacy stupidly (binarily) ignores the individual circumstances of women at the various stages of life. Not all women can get with that guy in the 20th percentile for any number of reasons. Thirdly, the primary edict of this blog and the Red Pill in general is using this information to better a man’s life on a by-man basis. If anything, being exposed to Red Pill truths like Hypergamy should embolden men to become more than they are in a new paradigm based on Red Pill truth rather than Blue Pill false hope – hope that, unfortunately, a lot of Purple Pill coaches are selling.

Hypergamy requires trust on the part of women
No, it really doesn’t. What this premise ignores is the dual nature of Hypergamy, and trust has nothing to do with the sexual urgency a woman feels for a guy who represents a 2-3 level bump in SMV compared to her own while she’s in the proliferative phase of her menstrual cycle. Trust, rapport and comfort are post-orgasm feelings. These are reserved for the Beta Provisioning side of Hypergamy and ones women usually associate with their luteal phase of menstruation. This is why the Betas women trust are the first guys they call to cry to about the guy they fucked who had no trust prerequisite. This fallacy is just stupid, but it does illustrate the Hypergamous process from both sides.

Men should stay ignorant of Hypergamy for their own good
This again goes back to the idea that men (usually Blue Pill Beta men) who know too much about the visceral aspects of Hypergamy will naturally become despondent and go MGTOW or worse, kill themselves in the thinking that they’ll never measure up. If you’re at all familiar with my writing you’ll know that I think the only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. As I’ve said many times, the truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make it pretty. It also doesn’t absolve a man of the responsibility that comes along with that truth. I get that guys are hopeful that they can find a magic formula that’ll get them their dream girls without much effort. Telling them that’s not gonna work for them makes them hopeless because they still cling to Blue Pill ideals being resolved with Red Pill truths.

This is where guys get the notion of ‘leagues‘ and that they don’t qualify for certain women because they’re out of their league. As I stated earlier a lot of the “keep the guys in the dark” notion is really a misguided way of supposedly helping a guy become something more by keeping him ignorant.

Hypergamy give women an “out” for bad, evil treatment of men
This is a play on the personal responsibility trope. I covered this in Our Sisters’ Keeper. It really comes down to the capacity men believe women have or don’t have with regard to their personal agency. This returns us to the question of women’s Hypoagency:

Hypoagency – the idea that certain individuals (e.g. women) lack agency in their own actions.They lack control. They are not actors … rather, they are acted upon. The corollary to that argument being that they are not responsible for their own actions. Yet the cultural narrative of the omni-empowered, Strong Independent Woman® is completely at odds with exactly women’s hypoagency with regard to rape. They are powerful and purposeful when it serves and entirely unaccountable and blameless when it’s not convenient.

There was a time when the book The Selfish Gene was being bandied around the manosphere and the concern was men might use the premises of the selfish gene to absolve them of cheating on their girlfriends or used as an excuse to pursue one woman after the other. They couldn’t help it, it was written into their DNA. The same argument is now used by (mainly moralist) men who promote the reverse of the idea that men are responsible for Hypergamy. Thus, women being acted upon by a Hypergamy that’s written into their DNA can use it as an excuse for the worst behavior and ugliest results imaginable to men. The logic then follows that women are either active agents and have moral agency or they lack that agency and need men to provide the self-control women are incapable of.

Personally, I believe its a combination of the two; women do have agency for which they should be responsible and accountable for, but also, men need to provide a confident dominant frame under which women want to submit and be associated with. It is not men’s fault that women are Hypergamous, but if there is to be a healthy control of it for the best interests of both men and women, men must understand it and master it. I would say the same of men’s own sexuality and sexual expression – however, we are already overwhelmingly held accountable for not mastering it.

Women aren’t slaves to Hypergamy
This is one more question of women’s agency. Just as hypoagency and the biological element of Hypergamy can be used to socially absolve women of the responsibilities of it, so too can women’s awareness of their own Hypergamy be another way to excuse bad behavior. Again, it’s about personal responsibility. I’ve never stated that women are “slaves” to Hypergamy. I have explored women’s conscious awareness of their behaviors being influenced by their innate Hypergamy. Most women don’t realize they are giving a guy a shit test, it’s part of their limbic subroutines. Most women don’t consciously plan their girls’ night out around the proliferative phase of their menstrual cycle. They largely do, but they don’t realize the coordination. Women aren’t slaves to Hypergamy, but they aren’t immune to its subconscious influence, and this applies to your “good girl”, your trad-con “Red Pill” woman and your “Quality Woman”.

Women are Hypergamous, men are hypogamous
Here we have another attempt to confirm a false equivalency in the hopes that some egalitarian balance might be found between men and women. I’ve heard Purple Pill men trot this one out occasionally: Hypogamy is the idea that men must marry down, or the increasing tendency for women to marry down in the face of men’s socioeconomic status being less than that of women’s. The salient point is that there is no biological element in men that would suggest anything about men opting for hypogamy. This is simply another effort to balance Hypergamy for an egalitarian mindset. I’m not suggesting hypogamy isn’t a thing, just that it’s a sociological phenomenon. Mens biological imperative is unlimited access to unlimited sexuality, and this we can see manifested in their own behavior. Men don’t seek out hypogamous circumstances as a point of their imperative. Sometimes that may be the result, but again this is an extrinsic circumstance not an evolved drive.

Hypergamy should end after marriage
Oh man, wouldn’t that be nice? Actually no, it would put men and women into a state of personal stagnation. While I try never to deal in “should be” I do recognize that there are still guys who still believe that all the anxiety they felt in their dating years should fade to unconditional comfort after they get married. This is false for many reasons, but then there is the extreme reversal of this; “Aww man if I’m not the highest apex Alpha in my wife’s world she’ll cheat on me with him as soon as her proliferative phase comes around.”

Some critics like to overplay this stupid binary to prove that “women are people too” and Hypergamy isn’t even a thing for them once they’ve settled in with a great guy like you. Hypergamy is alway in effect for women by order of degree; marriage is no insulation from the sexual market place, you fool yourself in ever getting comfortable (or vulnerable). Guys who buy into this fallacy are usually equalists who believe their Burden of Performance ended when they said “I do”.

Now, that said, it’s not all gloom and doom. If you’ve established a strong dominant frame prior to marriage Hypergamy actually works in your favor. The same studies that showed women in unsatisfying LTRs or marriages sought out extra-pair sex with more masculine men also showed that women in satisfying relationships were more sexually proceptive (horny) for the men they were paired with when in their prime ovulatory phase.

Hypergamy is only about Alpha Fucks
Another type of critic likes to overplay the importance of looks and Alpha dominance in the Hypergamous equation. I’m of the opinion that looks and confident dominance (bordering on cocky arrogance) stimulates tingles in the most natural visceral way, but that’s not the entirety of the Hypergamous equation. As most PUAs will belabor, looks without congruence in behavior can actually be anti-seductive. Looks will cover a multitude of Game sins, but Game and generating an emotional impact in a woman is always the keystone. There are two sides to Hypergamy, Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks. In today’s world women’s primary focus is on the Alpha Fucks side of the equation, but it doesn’t mean the Beta Bucks provisioning side has been erased.

Hypergamy isn’t so important, you’re overstating things
I get this from Purple Pill guys, PUAs and women – guys who obsess over Hypergamy are reactionary losers. And to them I’ll once again point out the  story of Daniella Greene, the FBI translator who left her military husband to marry the very ISIS fighter she’d been tasked to investigate. Watch the video at this link and then think about how many Red Pill truths this story confirms. Think about the far greater scope and importance an understanding of Red Pill intersexual dynamics and how Hypergamy factors into what was an international incident that threatened national security. Are we just going to say “well, bitches be crazy, she must be damaged” or do we see the mechanics behind her actions with a Red Pill Lens? This is only one example of the scope of the importance a developed Red Pill awareness should mean to men.

Look at the significance to which Hypergamy influences everything from divorce laws to child custody to even abortion. Hypergamy is a much larger dynamic than most men really want to digest. It’s not being reactionary to see the forest for the trees here.

You pronounce Hyper-gamee wrong, thus you are uneducated and your information is flawed.
Ok, you got me, disregard everything on this blog then.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Looking through a search on “women’s march 2018” I can’t get any accurate estimate on the size of crowds beyond “big”. Most likely that means not as many as last year, maybe not as many as expected, so the usual lying-by-half-truth must be trotted out. These are marches for “women’s rights”, as if it’s still 1800. Once again we see the answer to the question “What Do Women Want?” and the answer is as always “MORE!”. I do not yet see any clear, “we want this” demand beyond the usual “MORE”. Specifically I’m looking for any poster, banner, or walking… Read more »

gwoke
gwoke
5 years ago

M-Simon – I got something similar out of that interview. I didn’t see it as hallucination … I saw it as gaslighting.

Blaximus – i read that article and found myself murmuring “fuck that”. I live in fairly small conservative city. The swinger community is surprisingly strong. The marriages in the religious community are surprisingly fragile. I do no have high hopes for the institution of marriage I/we were brought up with.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

@GhostOfSteveMcQueen Weak stomach? C’mon, that’s another example of Hypergamy at work. Read between the lines. She was all in on being SuperMom with cloth diapers and so forth, probably high self esteem. It was competition and compensation: “I am now MOM! Watch me go!” Look at her pic, she’s in her mid to upper 30’s at a guess. Bet she married somewhere around 29.9999 after riding the carousel for a while. Maybe an alpha widow, maybe not, but most likely when the youngest child got to be 3 years old and not so eedy, the usual restlessness (known factor in… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Blaximus
Anybody know anyone personally that’s in a polyamoric(?) relationship?

Hmm. Well.
Would “‘married’ lesbians who cheat on each other” count?

We wonder why ” things ” are going to shit, but ” things ” actually aren’t as bad as shit like that guardian article make it out to be.

I want numbers.

LOL! Are you serious? That article is pure clickbait, an update of Gilbert’s “Eat, Prey, Love” fantasy. Fact? Numbers? Get out here with that dog-thinking!

j
j
5 years ago

“I want numbers.”

“Researchers are just beginning to study the phenomenon, but the few who do estimate that openly polyamorous families in the United States number more than half a million, with thriving contingents in nearly every major city.”

http://www.newsweek.com/polyamory-next-sexual-revolution-82053

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Look at her pic, she’s in her mid to upper 30’s at a guess.”

And even when she was younger she still would have looked like Christopher Reeves with tits.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

Half a million? United States of America/Population 323.1 million (2016) ————————————————– As of 2014, there were 1,134,400 firefighters in the United States (not including firefighters who work for the state or federal governments or in private fire departments). Of these, 346,150 (31%) are career and 788,250 (69%) are volunteer. ————————————————– Number of active pilots. As of the end of 2015, in the US, there were an estimated 590,039 active certificated pilots. This number has been declining gradually over the past several decades, down from a high of over 827,000 pilots in 1980. There were 702,659 in 1990 and 625,581 in… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

The next sexual revolution….

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/the-sex-robots-are-coming-babyboomers-bringing-about-a-sexual-revolution-a8087076.html

http://psychologytomorrowmagazine.com/the-next-sexual-revolution-stanley-siegel-intelligent-lust/

” Sex based on cultural stereotypes and mass-marketed images is alienating and unsatisfying because it supplants individual desire. The next revolution promises smarter, hotter sex based upon mutual affirmation, positive objectification, and an equal commitment to pleasure for all parties.”

… lol. Yeah sure.

j
j
5 years ago

Half a million MARRIAGES, not PEOPLE lol….and that’s not including marriages where there is an mutual agreement between couples that they are allowed to fool around as long as they’re discreet about it. Finally the article I shared is almost 10 years old…so I’m sure its more than half a million today lol

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

ok. How many people do you know in these kinds of arrangements?

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

… I know 2 pilots, 5 firefighters, 4 divorced guys, 2 farmers, 5 people that work at McDonalds, Nobody’s copping to the ED thing, 9 truck drivers including my bro in law that owns a small trucking company.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

Walmart employs an astounding 2.1 million people. In the United States alone, the company employs 1.4 million people. This is a staggering 1% of the U.S.’s 140 million working population. Walmart, in other words, matters.Sep 20, 2010

Funny though, I don’t know anyone that works at walmart.

j
j
5 years ago

Re: sex dolls

didn’t read the article you linked but I’ve been noticing a lot of memes about them on r/BlackPeopleTwitter lately:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/7qmppe/sex_dolls_suddenly_on_the_bpt_agenda_of_the_day/

olemsheppard2

“Honestly, between watching colleagues of mine paying close to six figures of annual alimony to cheating ex wives and watching guys like Aziz Ansari getting their careers destroyed for the crime of being really awkward and creepy in bed, if I wasn’t happily married I would probably be looking into modern sex dolls.”

comment image

lol

j
j
5 years ago

“How many people do you know in these kinds of arrangements?”

None. I don’t really talk to old people that much IRL lol

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Half a million MARRIAGES, not PEOPLE”

Blaximus, the problem with your question is that marriage is not the new normal. Most people with that sort of arrangement go straight into it these days without getting married.

“I don’t know anyone that works at walmart.”

What that suggests is that your experience is atypical.

M Simon
5 years ago

Anonymous Reader
January 20, 2018 at 1:17 pm

Confirmation of your points in one sentence.

“Meanwhile, Marc and I realised we were no longer compatible.”

From the Guardian link.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

kfg ” Blaximus, the problem with your question is that marriage is not the new normal. Most people with that sort of arrangement go straight into it these days without getting married.” Of course. My point is the number – half a million. Statistically insignificant. That’s why I pose the question of ” how many people do you know…etc..”. I don’t question whether people enter these arrangements, I’m dubious at it being Teh Next Revolutionary Thing or some such. Most average men could never pull this kind of thing off without being in the woman’s frame – which imo is… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

But…. pussy.

Lol.

M Simon
5 years ago

Blaximus
January 20, 2018 at 2:32 pm

Do they mention how often you have to fill the reservoirs and grease the joints?

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

” . . . how many people do you know…”

The number of people that I know is insignificant . . . compared to the number of people I know who are not married.

I can see plenty more that I don’t know by hanging around Section 8 housing. Or the Bohemian district. Or . . . ”

Marriage is something the 1% and gays do.

“Most average men could never pull this kind of thing off without being in the woman’s frame”

Blaximus, being in the women’s frame is the average.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ Palma

Growth rate, sure. But that’s an unknown right now, and looking at the state of men currently, this will become one more con for them to fall for and be bitch-ruled.

I mean, I get the odd cheerleading concerning poly…styrene or whatever, because guys can only think ” Man!!! I get to have 2 chicks…. or 1 with another knucklehead!!! “, but in the long term it sounds like shit.

Better off becoming a pilot.

Fly around the world banging chicks that hardly speak English.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

” Blaximus, being in the women’s frame is the average.”

comment image

j
j
5 years ago

“guys can only think ” Man!!! I get to have 2 chicks…. or 1 with another knucklehead!!! “, but in the long term it sounds like shit.”

1 mLTR + 2 FBs = long term 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Open-Relationships-Manual/dp/0986222097

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@palma

I only want men to wake the fuck up and stop surrendering and searching for workarounds that take the place of being actual men.

I’d rather guys went MGTOW than polyshit.

@j

” 1 mLTR + 2 FBs = long term ”

Whatevs man. If a dude can’t corral and handle 1 chick….

You know what this sounds like to my eyes? Like a plan for every guy to play in the NBA or Major League baseball. The numbers and volume nullify efficacy.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B1Xv41qZ3k&w=854&h=480%5D

j
j
5 years ago

@palma

yeah. Highly recommend it. Super detailed book. Connected a lot of dots and answered questions I didn’t know I had.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

Browsing…. lol……” you have to handle the first 3 months of the relationship differently…etc “.

Gotta love simplification for the masses.

j
j
5 years ago

@blax

lol ok old man

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

Wager: 90% of men reading that book will never pull it off successfully.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

” Can you wake up that many men that fast?”

Lmao, hell no apparently.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@j

” lol ok old man”

That’s the first time I’ve ever been called ” old man ” here at TRM.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ palma The first 2 time I was involved in a threesome, it was at the woman’s suggestion and in the women’s frames basically. It didn’t take but a nanosecond to figure that out. But hey, pussies. Once the novelty wanes, you need a different skillset to have 2 chicks in your bed simultaneously. And you need soft persistence, and you have to be able to spot trouble down the road. Can’t get all giddy and delirious and pussy struck. I don’t think stuff like that is a long term deal. I don’t understand why a man would even want… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ palma

Ohhh, got it.

True.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“I only want men to wake the fuck up and stop surrendering and searching for workarounds that take the place of being actual men.” So do I, but know most of them aren’t going to make it. Same as it ever was. “I don’t think stuff like that is a long term deal. I don’t understand why a man would even want that over the long haul.” YOU get to live on the Alpha farm, with the other men who make it. And they will like it. The one’s who don’t make it will get to clean the sewers and… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Blax There’s a temptation to think that, had Marc and I explored these things together, our marriage might have worked without opening it up. I’m not sure that it would have, though, given that he wasn’t into it. It can seem quite intimidating, but I was so ready for it. The first time I went to a fetish club, I felt like I was at home – that I’d found my people. The whole “movement” of polyandry is women having multiple men. Typically one cuck beta closeted homo husband, i.e. Marc in the above (just look at that fag’s face… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Ha. Same as it ever was…

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

kfg

“and they will like it”

This is the bone chilling rub. This is what we cannot allow to take hold. Better to take them out. Stop the madness.

My first reaction on looking at Marc and reading thr story was “kill with fire”.

I’m sure there is an evobio/psych basis for this kind of revulsion.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

“kill with fire”.

Goddamnit.

Made me spit out my Iced Tea.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“The whole “movement” of polyandry is women having multiple men. ”

By George, I think he’s got it. Beta bucks supporting the Alpha fucks.

The Alphas will have multiple women (but probably a main), the women will have whatever Alphas they can get, and the Betas will have . . . hope.

Hope springs infernal.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

” Hope springs infernal.”

Shit.

Why is it so hard to enjoy delicious beverages here?

M Simon
5 years ago

About 16 minutes in he explains what happens when a system starts eating its own. The vast majority of the eaten will try to justify the devouring.

https://youtu.be/Rys45B4OhV0

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

When I say I am kinky, what that means to me is that I (currently) identify as sexually submissive/prey and as a masochist. I enjoy being spanked. I enjoy being hit, choked, slapped. I like water play and sports. I like all sorts of penetrative and non penetrative sex. I like sex, in many forms.

Her blog. Marc was not up to it…

http://www.anitacassidy.uk/content/words/someone-you-know-kinky

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

AHA!!!! The Thot thickens!!!

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“The Thot thickens”

I fooled you. I had just put my coffee down.

DisgruntledEarthling
DisgruntledEarthling
5 years ago

But #MostMen? I see them totally pussified in general. Pathetic.
Guy at work recently divorced his wife. They have two teenagers. She wanted an open marriage. He dumped her ass which really surprised me since he is a pussified beta.
There a line that even pussified betas won’t cross. Those that do cross it are much worse than pussified betas. I have no idea what’s going on inside their brains

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
5 years ago

“and they will like it”

I’m a beta and I disavow that message.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Blax

That’s the first time I’ve ever been called ” old man ” here at TRM.

Old as dirt. You should probably take J out and buy him an ice cream.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/954788467069870081

Glorius reframe…

fwiw – Daily Mail citing “tens of thousands” marching and “down from millions”… somebody is going to get fired for that.

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

Glorius reframe…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xr2C66F4f8

“Those that do cross it are much worse than pussified betas. I have no idea what’s going on inside their brains” What would you call it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3tSZRvJJ7Q

Old as dirt. You should probably take J out and buy him an ice cream.

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
5 years ago

Cheers, gentlemen, for your feedback. I feel like i’m starting to connect with a few of you now, which is a positive. Just had a Sunday drive with a couple of mates visiting other blokes up the valley. Plenty of good, hard, no bullshit Red Pill men out here, for sure. Come down and visit us sometime when any of you get the chance. It would be cool to meet some of you sometime & show you my world… Anywayz, what goes up must come down. The feminist bubble will burst under the weigh of its own bullshit. This i’m… Read more »

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
5 years ago

Yep, as any pussy slayer would know, all women want to be submissive to a dominant Alpha male. Whilst things were flying all good in the sack with the Serpent, i almost had to choke her into unconsciousness to satisfy her. She would just say “harder, harder….” It did spin me out a little at times as i was focusing on choking her rather than fucking her. Once again, the burden of performance lies with us men… And spanking? Well, i love to spank that booty when doing a babe in doggy, but with the Serpent i’d have to spank… Read more »

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
5 years ago

Here’s a big name feminist coming out against #MeToo, but i do wonder about her last statement… “What makes it different is when the man has economic power, as Harvey Weinstein has. But if you spread your legs because he said ‘be nice to me and I’ll give you a job in a movie’ then I’m afraid that’s tantamount to consent, and it’s too late now to start whingeing about that.” “My feeling is we ditch rape altogether [as a crime] because it’s hopeless. I have seen the police working up a rape case trying desperately hard to build it… Read more »

M Simon
5 years ago

The Solitary Silver FoX January 20, 2018 at 10:07 pm Based on the fact that 1% of women and 3% of men are into fetish sex we can estimate that women’s sex drive is about 1/2 standard deviation (SD) below men’s. (Given that the assumptions made – kinky sex is a proxy for the sex drive is one – are correct.) On average. One problem is that women’s sex drive is quite variable. But if they live together their sex drives synchronize. There must be some advantage to that. One half SD seems about right. More study needs to be… Read more »

Mike
Mike
5 years ago

comment image?w=1920&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=f0466b4af44d91f68b8a632fc93df671

Mike
Mike
5 years ago

Hate to hijack the thread, but Rollo if you haven’t seen the article, for the body language alone, look at an Alpha and settled for Beta in his humiliated state. The physical differences are so apparent it is almost as if this was a page taken right out of a redpill 101 textbook.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/20/why-i-chose-polyamory-anita-cassidy?CMP=fb_gu

M Simon
5 years ago

When men are in abundance and women scarce – most women will reduce the availability of sex. You get “Christian lady” societies.

When the ratios go the other way (women in abundance) you get “girls gone wild” societies.

The shift doesn’t have to be much. +/- 10% is enough.

Now think of the problems colleges have with M/F ratios of .9 and below (most of them these days). The more restrictions placed on men – the fewer that show up.

M Simon
5 years ago

rugby11
January 21, 2018 at 3:32 am

All considerations of faith aside, I cannot fathom an adult man with any self-respect finding anything attractive about the modern church. Either there is nothing for him there or he is despised and denigrated, openly in a faith altering way or discreetly in resentment, or in pandering ridicule of his juvenilized maleness. – Rollo Tomassi

https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/30/losing-my-religion/

M Simon
5 years ago

palmasailor
January 21, 2018 at 4:13 am

And it is a perishable commodity. After 30…….

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Simon

Based on the fact that 1% of women and 3% of men are into fetish sex

Women buy books about fetish sex in droves. We ought believe what they do, not what they say.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

The whole “movement” of polyandry is women having multiple men. Typically one cuck beta closeted homo husband, i.e. Marc in the above (just look at that fag’s face lol) and then more alpha men and then women. Yep. This is the coming pattern. Well, actually, it’s the *current* pattern, too, it’s just that people don’t look at it that way. What we have now is, in most beta marriages (and, as we know, most marriages are beta marriages): either (1) wife is getting desire sex on the side (this is very, very common today, it’s just very quiet) or (2)… Read more »

M Simon
5 years ago

theasdgamer
January 21, 2018 at 4:35 am

Buying books vs practice. But as I said It is a very rough BOE (back of the envelope) calculation. More study needs to be done.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Based on the fact that 1% of women…are into fetish sex

Which is based on what women say, which, of course, we credulously believe.

M Simon
5 years ago

theasdgamer
January 21, 2018 at 5:50 am

If you have better data I can work with that.

M Simon
5 years ago

http://reason.com/blog/2014/11/11/kinky-sex-survey-finds-everybodys-weird

Notably, men were more likely than women to say they wanted their sexual fantasies to become sexual realities. “Approximately half of women with descriptions of submissive fantasies specified that they would not want the fantasy to materialize in real life,” the researchers note. “This result confirms the important distinction between sexual fantasies and sexual wishes, which is usually stronger among women than among men.”

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

Here in suburban douchebagland a few women might be however polyandrous…but the notion of an oncoming wave of slouchy 30-50 y.o. women who, yes, rarely have sex with hubby, now scoring extramarital sex with an Alphaish guy is a stretch.

I’m not saying it doesn’t happen categorically but these 50 SOG desiring wives and divorcees look pretty desperate in the hookup bars I’ve been to.

These women are sexually dropping out of the sexual marketplace in the cases I’ve seen, considering how many cut their hair and gain 30+ pounds.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Germaine Greer quoted in Aussie paper “My feeling is we ditch rape altogether [as a crime] because it’s hopeless. I have seen the police working up a rape case trying desperately hard to build it up so it will stand up in court – and wasting their time.” “The burden of proof is too high and that’s because the tariff is too onerous. Rape is a daily crime, it’s not spectacular. What we need is a coherent law of sexual assault.” That could be a straw in the wind. Any implication that the burden of proof for “rape” is too… Read more »

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
5 years ago

@Eh
The ones in hookup bars may be the desperate ones, but the others could be making house calls during the day

M Simon
5 years ago

Dominance hierarchies are due to female selection.

https://youtu.be/DOCkbDXjyDI

M Simon
5 years ago

EsCherCixWyen
January 21, 2018 at 9:29 am

The video I just posted at –> M Simon January 21, 2018 at 9:23 am deals in part with fight club. Women and men don’t fight the same.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Eh Intellect:

This is a transition period in culture war. There will be casualties on both sides.

@EsCherCixWyen:

I don’t talk about fight club.

M Simon
5 years ago

Men are bigger than women. Women choose that.

https://youtu.be/Z2GQ99DujIU?t=11m54s

Roused
Roused
5 years ago

@Blax, I have a hippie chick friend that had a poly thing going for a long while with three different guys. She no longer does and now has an unemployed loser single bf. This girl’s life is a mess. Three daddies for three children. Welfare, food stamps etc… Her and her partners were apparently all allowed to date others with the rule that they didn’t pry into each other’s playtime with other people. It always seemed a huge mess to me. At one point she made a play to pull me into it peripherally. She called me one day out… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@EsCherCixWyen “This movie is more about breaking free from the shackles of Feminine Imperative.” Even when you break free from the shackles of the Feminine Imperative, the Feminine Imperative is still going to be there. “But when you break free, you first explore yourself right? Your masculinity, your instincts …I think that movie portraits the early phase of a Red Pill guy.. The ultimate fate the movie prophesied is reviving the old hunter gatherer world… Sure, the movie can point out the value of Knowing Thyself. But Knowing Thyself is only a phase you go through. It can’t stop there.… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

Re current trends of women seeking, and getting, desire sex outside marriage: http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/05/health/why-women-cheat-partner/index.html

Again, it’s happening a lot, it’s just quiet. Undesirable 50yo? No. Cute 35-45yo married women? Yep, yep. The author herself was shocked because her friends/acquaintances kept it quiet even from her, lol.

hank holiday
hank holiday
5 years ago

@solitary fox

I don’t mean, staying power, ’cause i pride myself on ejaculation control,

lol.

any techniques or are you just naturally like that?

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Nihilism is not all it’s cracked up to be. ”

The good news is there is a solution. The bad news is it’s absurd.

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
5 years ago

@ hank holiday Just lots of practice with lots of different women over the years. I learned how to have tantric orgasms, where instead of ejaculating you can channel it from your balls back up the spine and get the blast whilst saving yourself physically til you’re ready to blow. A very good to skill to have as you get older as a man… But often in the early days, you just have to pull out before you cum, settle, then dive back in, baby. The women don’t mind. In fact, they want you to be a stayer, so just… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

I’m a fan of tantric. That’s why I suck at quickies.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
5 years ago

@ Novaseeker The authoress: “On the surface, their husbands were reasonable, the marriages modern and equitable.” Equitable? Go figure she’s on the cheatin’ side of town. She essentially reviews two books but never really gets to the reason women cheat. Emotional needs not met? We know better. Cute 35-45 married women kinda don’t exist around here. They seem overweight, underpowered, vaguely dissatisfied. Perhaps the Acela corridor differs. Oh, if my life we’re an Entourage episode. It’s as if when women get what they think they want, provisioning and sex, women’s expectancy purposely fucks it up by turning them fat and… Read more »

CSI
CSI
5 years ago

Re current trends of women seeking, and getting, desire sex outside marriage: http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/05/health/why-women-cheat-partner/index.html I skimmed that, and I got the impression it was blaming men for women cheating (as usual). Women feel resentful that they do more “labor”, whether household labor, “emotional labor”, whatever. So its implying the best route for a husband is to do more chores. Sounds like more hamster-ism in action. If a woman is attracted to and respects a man, she’s going to be happy to do things for him (provided he’s not a complete lazy slob). If she’s not attracted to and doesn’t respect a… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“She essentially reviews two books but never really gets to the reason women cheat. Emotional needs not met? We know better…. Women’s increased inconsequential relationships will not satisfy. A futile circle of continual revision in those relationships is created. A relationship that can be reversed at will holds little value. Groundhog Day for feminism. After they get all they desire then repeatedly gorge themselves on it, it all becomes meaningless and in time women will despair…. I believe the Women’s March is just that, essentially low grade despair, not a fist of defiance….” A lot of this is about energy… Read more »

boulderhead
5 years ago

@Eh

This is a good read , a few years old but ahead of its time.

https://therationalmale.com/2015/03/31/wives-lovers/

This part I had to reread for comprehension.

, “however, consideration is never a motivator of genuine desire for a woman. Only admiration and an ambient imagination of losing the focus of it inspires genuine desire.”

j
j
5 years ago
Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

Then she’ll find something, anything, she does better than him (even if its remembering to send greeting cards), feel resentment over it, and use it as an excuse to cheat. Of course they’ll make excuses. That’s totally uninteresting, really. Red Pill 101 is watch what they do and not what they say. What the women are *doing* in that article is notable, as is the fact that even other *women* are surprised by it. That they are making excuses for it is not surprising nor is it interesting — the actions, however, are. Women are seeking, and getting, extra-marital desire… Read more »

The Solitary Silver FoX
The Solitary Silver FoX
5 years ago

“There is nothing that teaches you more than regrouping after failure and moving on. Yet most people are stricken with fear. They fear failure so much that they fail. They are too conditioned, too used to being told what to do. It begins with the family, runs through school and goes into the business world.” ― Charles Bukowski … This, like much of Bukowski, is well worth purchasing and reading. It’s basically his daily reflections as a 71 year old in his twilight years back in 1991, with illustrations by Robert Crumb. Much Red Pill wisdom as was how Hank… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

J

Lol.

Who is the hunter and who is the prey?

comment image

j
j
5 years ago

@Sentient

huh? that’s some random Tinder hoe… Olivia’s been with Danny for more than a year bro

last year’s super bowl:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQKQXx8Arbl/?hl=en&taken-by=oliviaculpo

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
5 years ago

I’m not sure who that Patriot player is or his ladyfriend either, but check out the expression of that gal off to the right (I think she’s a TV sideline reporter).

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
5 years ago

The cheating wives piece stayed far away from one question you might well ask: who are they cheating with?

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

J

That was that girl who “banged” Edelmen after one of their AFC or Superbowl wins… And yeah she was “just” some random bar girl in Boston.

But she got it.

The point isn’t about Amendola being Alpha (or Tebow)… It’s how the girl acts. She like him winning or she like being around a winner? Funny to see his interview and she was peeking her head in from behind him.

Beware Beta Fux…

theasdgamer
5 years ago

“she was peeking her head in from behind him.”

Validation-seeking

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Heh: https://blacklabellogic.com/2018/01/19/red-pill-logic-illusions-of-grandeur/ “The idea that you have hypoagency is just as damaging as the idea that you have hyperagency, because the former assumes you have control over nothing, the latter that you can control everything. Both are false. “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius – Meditations What one often forgets is that if you view yourself as having control over outside events to a very high degree, then you are also culpable for the outcomes of those events. The person who claims “If your frame is strong… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago
theasdgamer
5 years ago

J My point needs some background. My point is that fucks ain’t everything when it comes to alpha. I made out with my college gf (19 yo, doll face, tiny waist, curvy hips, but no tits) an hour a day for 8 months but didn’t wanna bang her until we married. We made out in the hall of her college dorm and girls are always passing by and my gf got validation from this. So my college gf tells me all kinds of shit about how she tells her sister that sometimes she’s in class and gets wet thinking about… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
5 years ago

The point isn’t about Amendola being Alpha (or Tebow)… It’s how the girl acts. She like him winning or she like being around a winner? Funny to see his interview and she was peeking her head in from behind him.

Beware Beta Fux…

Yup, yup.

j
j
5 years ago

“Maybe it takes big tits to get me interested on some level or maybe it’s just coincidence.”

meh. I don’t give a shit about big titties:

http://www.girlschase.com/media/2017/11/girls-only-want-young-guys-4.jpg

all about the waist-to-hip ratio:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Ba-TvLUlfEO/?taken-by=savmontano

this Norwegian chick from last year had some cute tiny tits that I chuckled to myself when I saw them bounce, but mannnn she had a booty to die for

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