Teaching Slaves to Read

Ehintellect had a very enlightening comment in last week’s thread. I’ve edited it for relevant content, but you can read the whole thing here. This touched on an essay topic I’ve been considering since my conversation with Ed Latimore and Mark Baxter:

[I] was at a home party a few years back. Highly successful surgeons, wives, husbands; quickly devolved into quarters, college games. 

My wife loves the parties as she gets compliments and conversation she’d otherwise not get. She’s not plugged into that crowd, and I assume doesn’t want to. In a way, that’s fortunate. There is tremendous value in my marriage, parenting. I’m astonished at the change.

Mrs. Eh’s shit tests continue, but are a whole different breed. Comfort, mostly, and usually because I don’t calibrate enough. Easily dealt with, I’m astonished at the dynamic. I was bar rail with wife, and my erstwhile suicidal, now RP, TRM acquaintance called asking me to celebrate his 2 (!) plate spinning / back at school / ”I know your trick, EhIntellect!” / ”Now I understand the true nature of women.” / “My life has never been better.” life. I was celebrating on the phone with him. Well, yeah, after the 5-10 minute chat, Mrs. Eh. wasn’t too pleased. She started to test about me treating her as a “whore” and my daughter shabbily.

Still upbeat, I kissed her forehead and whispered, “You’re no whore. You’re MY whore.” Well, that didn’t work as intended, she sulked, I got up and said let’s go. Nope she sat and I, dropping her jacket on my chair, wordlessly left out the back. The bar waitress walked her out by the arm 3 minutes later.

I’d have never been able to do that without you guys.

I had a karaoke night planned, for me, so kept on. In a way I “bounced” her to another venue, ran with her happily sprinting with me to the new pub. It’s like the dust up never happened, she was crazy sexual for the rest of the night. That’s what we’re to do right? Spike that test! I wanted to sing, and raised the roof that night. Did I reinforce bad behavior? IMO, no. The test is to be passed, my burden of performance, she holds me tighter, begs me for affection as never before. Sex is plentiful. More frame for me, no snark, much laughter.

Reader SJF comments next:

Your wife’s response to overhearing your conversation is normal operating procedure for women. I’ve been through this scenario and could shed some more light on it.

Sure it is a shit test. Sure it is a comfort test. Doesn’t matter. It’s not about passing a shit test. It’s about using it to your advantage. “You’re no whore. You’re MY whore” was an Agree and Amplify response to the test. Not the best way to accomplish your goals. Your goals here were to mentor your buddy. Not to game your wife–you already have that in hand 

What this situation calls for is to conduct your discussions with men in fight club in private.

What’s going on with your wife in this situation is and INDIGNATION of the SISTERHOOD scenario. (How fucking dare you help another man to implement his strategy to compromise the strategy of the Sisterhood? The Sisterhood’s Social Conventions and their Feminine Imperatives to implement their strategy are more important in a Feminine Supreme Society than you buddy gaining agency).

Your wife on behalf of her and your daughter is affronted by you giving him tactics. (She figures on your part this is you giving her and your daughter and indignity because you are giving this: insult, offend, mortify, provoke, pique, wound, hurt to the Sisterhood Strategy and Imperatives.) You are poking the mother of your children in the ribs with riposte. She protests. She figures it’s not fucking fair.

So this talking red pill to red pill with guys is best kept off the grid and out of sight and earshot.
Now keep in mind this is not abdicating frame any more than a Machiavellian strategist is embarrassed by his tactics being kept secret.

Tyler Durden in fight club would not agree about using overt, rather than covert discussions about blowing up the edifices (buildings, social conventions and imperatives) in society to achieve ends.

And finally Novaseeker adds this most salient comment:

“You should know this stuff, but you shouldn’t know this stuff, if it were up to the Sisterhood. You guys are taking away OUR POWER and I’m going to shit test you about that with some INDIGNATION.”

Yes, it’s because it violates the “Just Get It” principle. It’s fine if a man “just gets it”. It’s not fine if a man has to learn it in order to get it, because in the latter case there is a concern that he doesn’t actually really “get it”, because he isn’t a man who “just gets it”.

More fundamentally, they do not trust themselves to be able to tell the difference between a man who “just gets it” and man who has learned from other men how to “get it”, and they fundamentally do want to distinguish between the two types of men because that is a critical Alpha filter. What you’re doing is sabotaging their filter, which of course will be unwelcome, never mind that they will generally be just as satisfied with a man who learns to get it as they would with a man who just gets it, in practice (as long as the former guy maintains frame and so on properly). So, yes, don’t talk about fight club outside fight club and all that.

Women want a man who ‘just gets it’ but they despise a man who has to be told how to ‘get it’.

This is the first law of the Sisterhood, a man who must be told how to be a man, how to be dominant in his dealings with women, or fluidly, naturally be the Alpha who is in control of his environment(s) isn’t the man for her. If masculinity or the value of social dominance had to be explained to him, he had to make a conscious effort to act contrary to what his ‘true’ nature would otherwise be for women.

Hypergamy always seeks the better-than-deserved situation with men. In the past I’ve discussed how the nature of Hypergamy is such that it cannot wait for a man to realize his potential. Hypergamy looks for the ‘sure thing’. This is why women prefer the romantic attentions (at least as far as long term prospects go) of men who are 5 – 7 years or older than themselves. On a limbic level, women are aware that men’s accrual of sexual market value takes much longer than for women. Men who would be intimately acceptable are the men who are already made-men. There is no (or certainly less) uncertainty for her Hypergamous doubt to resolve for her when that man possesses SMP equity that time has made of him. This is also the root reason women are attracted to men who naturally, effortlessly, display higher value and Amused Mastery, as well as men for whom social proof is socially and organically confirmed for her.

Women’s sexual agency –their only true commodity value to men – is perishable. This then is the nature of women’s very intimate relationship with the Wall; they know on a hindbrain, limbic level and from a very early age that their sexual agency rises quickly and burns out fast. Their peak competitive years in the sexual marketplace (SMP) spans only 10-12 years at best before their younger sisters replace them in the SMP. They know that there will come a point that their capacity to compete in the SMP will diminish.

Every cosmetic ever created, every plastic surgery or implant devised (by men) every fashion trend or clothing style for women has been created with the express purpose of both making a woman appear younger than her actual age and/or to convince her that her sexual agency has an indefinite shelf life. Every social convention for women the Feminine Imperative has ever devised is rooted in the latent purpose of convincing women that their sexual market value ought to be based on some esoteric or intrinsic quality (rather than the biological and evolutionary reality) once they’ve moved past the age of being able to effectively compete intrasexually with their sisters.

They are conditioned to believe the fault in ‘unrealistic beauty standards’ is due to the horrific sexual objectification of men’s base (biological) natures and/or the social constructivist narrative that would have them believe it’s a nebulous ‘society’s’ fault that they are unable to consolidate their Hypergamy once the expiration date for their sexual market value has passed and their younger sisters outcompete them.

Id vs. Ego

On a subconscious level this is the internal conflict women fight within themselves. The desires of their Ids war with the dictates of what Hypergamy demands of them, knowing all the while that their capacity to consolidate on it is limited to a very short window in their lifetimes. Women’s Egos are then fed on the narrative of the Feminine Imperative that the worries of their Ids, and the crushing doubts that Hypergamy biologically wires into women, are unfounded and they have an almost indefinite timeframe in which to consolidate on the ‘perfect guy’ ; The guy who will satisfy both the Alpha Fucks sexual excitement of Hypergamy with the stable, comforting, dependable security the Beta Bucks side of Hypergamy needs for her long term security. A woman’s Id knows this is a lie, but her Ego is convinced she can wait out her Party Years at least to sample as many ‘bad boys, wrong boys, commitment-phobic boys’ as the Sheryl Sandberg plan for Hypergamy has convinced her Ego she has the time to work her way through.

A woman’s Id is having none of it, beyond enjoying the sexual pleasures of the Alpha men she prefers in her peak sexual market value (SMV) years. Hypergamy demands the complete package, the already-made man. The guy for whom she’s so certain will be the best of both worlds (despite the unbeliveability of it) that it quells her Hypergamous doubt. On a rudimentary level a woman’s Id knows she deserves a better-than-warranted situation with regard to her Hypergamy; it’s the only situation that will ever be truly satisfying to her. Only a man who rates 1-2 degrees above what she feels her own SMV merits (however unrealistic that’s become to her) will be the man she can truly submit herself to.

This is what her Id knows. On some level of consciousness it knows she is choosing a life in which she can either submit herself and entrust her life, body and soul to the long term security of a deserving man (one who rates a full to two steps above her own self-impression), or she will resign herself to her own ‘independence’ and self-reliance with respect to long term security in a life with a man who doesn’t “deserve her” and who she will never submit herself to.

There are many variables that interfere with a woman making this consolidation in her younger years, but the fact remains, the longer a woman delays consolidating on the guy she could comfortably submit herself to the less likely she is to actually do so; and the more likely she is to resign herself to insisting on her own Frame to supply the security she would otherwise get from a man she could’ve submitted herself to.

This is why we see a majority of older women – women who’ve cycled out of the SMP – falling back on the tropes of the Strong Independent Woman® narrative. The truth is they are unlikely to ever lockdown the perfect guy with whom they could comfortably submit to. This is also compounded by her Hypergamous doubt and long term security having to be self-provisioned for a longer and longer period of time. A never-married 40 year old woman will likely have been so necessitous in her own provisioning that she will never allow herself to submit to any man’s Frames for the remainder of her life.

All of this interpersonal back and forth revolves around women’s capacity to attract a suitable man while simultaneously filtering for men’s requisite qualities to satisfy the dual nature of Hypergamy. From an evolutionary perspective, women’s breeding potential cannot afford to be tricked or deceived into her consolidating on a less than optimal man. That’s the paradox of Hypergamy and the prime reason women seek pre-made man (or a man with such overwhelming potential it satisfies Hypergamy). So important is this filtering mechanism that it evolved to be a part of women’s neurological firmware – it’s baked in.

In a larger respect, this filtering is part of the prime directive amongst the collective social influence of the Sisterhood. Women want, and expect, a default, and completely honest, evaluation of a man’s intimate potential in satisfying Hypergamy from her peers as well as the larger social collective of women. Anything that confounds or deliberately confuses the veracity of this Hypergamous assessment about a guy is equitable with deliberately attempting to sabotage a woman’s life. Accurate evaluation of a man’s Hypergamous potential is the highest order for the Sisterhood.

Teaching Slaves to Read

In my interview with Ed Latimore we discussed exactly this dynamic and what Ed said was profound. I paraphrase him here, but the sentiment was, “Men learning Game, men teaching men about the intrinsic psychological and biological natures of women, men making other men Red Pill aware, is like teaching slaves to read in the time of slavery.”

Men becoming aware of the nature of women is a Threat; and that threat is primarily dangerous because it deliberately confounds women’s accurate assessment of a man’s true value in satisfying her Hypergamous doubt. Educating men about Game, about Red Pill awareness, must be prevented on both a personal level and a sociological level if women are to maintain a feminine-primary, feminine-correct and feminine-dominant social order. Thus, we encounter the social situations that Ehintellect and SJF describe in the above comments.

This reminds me of a story I read on the Red Pill Reddit forum about a guy who’s girlfriend discovered my book he’d been reading. She began picking through various sections and, expectedly, got really pissed off at the chapters on SMV (the chart in particular). They both discussed the parts she’d read and she admitted she wanted to read the whole thing, but from what they talked about she confessed that there wasn’t really anything she disagreed with. Her words were, “You men shouldn’t know this stuff!

It wasn’t that she was irritated by the truth in those sections of the book, but rather, her concern was that men might become aware of women’s sexual strategies as laid bare by the SMV sections and chart. Essentially, men teaching men to become Red Pill aware, to unplug them from the Matrix is anathema to women’s long term sexual strategy. Teaching men to Just Get It is a deliberate effort to bypass women’s subconscious and overt filtering processes to evaluate a man’s Hypergamous value.

Furthermore, Red Pill aware men represent an existential threat to women unilaterally making Hypergamous decisions for their lives – a unilateral power women have taken for granted since the unfettering of Hypergamy in the Sexual Revolution – and thus represent a threat to their making a less than optimal choice. Men becoming Red Pill aware, in effect, prioritizes men’s control over the Hypergamous process. That may be only by order of degree, and subjective to men’s real grasp of the Red Pill and their capacity to implement it, but the fear remains. Even a nominal control or increase in control of men over the Hypergamous process must be criminalized, marginalized or shamed to eliminate the threat that a man might convincingly misrepresent himself for a woman’s Hypergamous approval.

This is interesting in light of women’s hubris of embracing Open Hypergamy on a societal, cultural level. It’s not that men would be aware of women’s Hypergamous sexual strategies – this they triumphantly flaunt in very public ways – it’s that men would collude together to deliberately exploit that knowledge to wrest some marginal control over women’s sexual selection process.

Novaseeker’s assessment is correct, this convincing deception centers on men teaching men to passably appear to, if not actually, Just Get It. There’s a maxim in the manosphere that states women are not interested in how a man becomes a man. They are uninterested in the process of a man becoming anything, just that he is. If there is one thing Hypergamy demands to satisfy its inherent doubts is that men be genuine. How they became ‘genuine’ is irrelevant to women, just that they are genuine is enough. This is the conflict between women’s Ids and Egos – that a man might appear to be genuine in his quality is enough, yet not enough. 

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

330 comments on “Teaching Slaves to Read

  1. @If-I-Fell

    If you’re not obligated to be twosome with the boss, then do your own thing. Maybe have the excuse that your time there is already planned. No matter, you’re in a tight spot.

    Good luck.

  2. https://twitter.com/yuka_seno/status/845705409281196033

    20代後半までは女が男を選んでいたのに、30代以降は女が若さを失うのと同時に、男が経済力を持ち始めるので、男が女を選び出す。しかし、30代の女が男と同様の経済力を持っていたとしても、大抵の男は脅威に思う。

    Google translated to:

    A woman picked a man until the late 20s, but as a woman loses her youth after her 30s, a man starts to have economic power, so a man picks up a woman. However, even though a woman in her thirties has the same economic power as a man, most men are a threat.

    I came across this on twitter… such analysis.

  3. If-I-Fell

    On the wife – ensure you send several pics of you enjoying your time away.

    On “the boss” –

    I suspect this is a man? Because if it was a woman boss you would have used Game already on her to secure money, promotion and staffing. You say you “found out” he joined the group and booked. How? I suspect he did not volunteer this info to you initially.

    There is a 1% chance he is looking to better his resume and prospects and a 99% chance he is coming to home in on your contacts. The beta thing to do would be to prove to him how valuable you are by bringing him around and meeting everyone and setting up dinners for him etc. He will just use this to disintermediate you from the relationships. And the reality is your contacts will go along and welcome this because he has more power and status and budget and decision making authority than you do…

    So I would avoid anything but the most basic social courtesies, save your best meetings for you alone with your contacts. If that has to be shorter than usual, so be it. Better to miss getting together with folks all together than bringing him in. The other thing to do is AMOG him in a sly way, ask him what he has planned, what he think of the technical sessions etc. Generally put him on the back foot while you float around being seen and shaking hands and leading conversations off to the side that he is not included in.

  4. @ If I Fell

    Man you don’t have it to bad,a job and a jelous wife.Remember the things she says and does are colored by her solipsism more than your situ.

    Strange thing it seems as if the FI has taken away the structure of hierarchy in the system and replaced it with a paperwork chain of command ! Anyone else notice this?

    Your boss is only your boss in title and has no clue how to manage your specialized department, This must be a administration paperwork call as it makes their job easier.This is the FI writ large.

    I am also in my late fifties and have been watching this trend for 15 years or so.No worries your boss is likely a jag that will take any excuse to get out of dodge.

    The question I have is do I take more leadership training,PR,sales,management or paperwork training to survive in this new world?

    Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the medical unit on a fire answers to the safety unit.Here you have a med unit leader nationally registered medic,in charge of 10 medics and all the logistics for treating and transporting if needed 500 firefighters on the ground.
    And he is answering to a man that reminds you to wear a hardhat because turtles fall from the sky.
    Bottom line it is a paperwork chain.

  5. Funny how you see girls giggling and playing with their hair–obvious IOI’s–and saying that they don’t find Ross Jeffries appealing.

    Mel is confrontational and Ross is playful and negs women.

  6. That was quite a circus. It is very awkward to debate the jury when their sister is the defendant and you are the plaintif. But Ross did quite well, considering.

  7. @Stuffinbox: ” Anyone else notice this?”

    Notice it? I spend half my days repressing the urge to beat it to death with a war hammer, and I’m not even in a chain of command. I can’t figure how people who are deal with it.

  8. ran across this today:

    http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-39358725

    Not once in the article is the child’s best interest given due. Mommy feels bad that she’s judged for having a less-than-ideal parenting situation for her child.

    It should take some rather extreme circumstances for single parenthood to be okay. Otherwise, social pressure to discourage it is the only thing left advocating the welfare of the child; the laws don’t and the FI sure as hell doesn’t.

    These types seem to believe that a mother’s love and the occasional visit with daddy is good enough. They seek to normalize it just to relieve themselves of guilt and bad feelz.

    Gotta stop now before I go full rant.

  9. “By simply advertising TRM or TRP all that will be acomplished is getting yourself labled as rad mysogynist while at the same time bringing slews of SJW’s and blue pillers here to lable the rest of us the same.”

    I occasionally moonlight with a with a pretty tough crew doing security. as a 6 foot, intermediate clean lifter, I am by far the smallest guy. all ex college athletes and fucking monsters. all with full sleeves. almost all of them juice. typical asshole bouncers.

    on its face this would seem an ideal enviornment for sharing the pill. but I am always cautious based on the advice of the omgs here because…

    1. all social media pussies. they follow their igs like 12 year old girls. they have facebooks. they “like” things. some of them have two phones!! they can’t put down their fucking phones. they all orbit. it’s no wonder girls are so unrealistic in their smp numbers because they have “hawt guys” kissing their asses all day and night.

    2. all sports lovers. they talk about ballers like they know them. “oh, “so and so” should have never signed that deal.” all monday morning armchair quarterbacks despite never even coming close to going pro.

    3. all car lovers. not because of any special attachment to a certain car from their past, like their grandpa had a great gto he used to drive them around in or something, but because of what it “costs” or because some “rapper” drives one.

    4. all say shit like, “my girl can’t cook”. “my girl spends all my money”. “my girl won’t let me go out anymore”. everyone just nods and agrees like that’s how life is, bro.

    the company’s brand is tall, big, handsome. guys get hired based solely on looks. they don’t care how long your record is, how much coke you do, only if you can carry the brand.

    the incels would kill to have their “advantages”. but not one of these guys has any fucking game at all. it’s pathetic. ya is completely right about the big guys whose entire game is to stand there and flex. girls walk right over them after two minutes because they see right through it. no negs, no qualification, no ignoring the targets. they are all big softies putting on big fronts.

    why the fuck would you juice if you don’t compete? insecurity. why do these guys cover themselves with ink? insecurity. why do these genetic monsters settle for girls who do nothing for them? frame weakness and lack of abundance mentality. all of this shit can be fixed in a year with the red pill, but they don’t want to see it even exists let alone take it.

    I have no doubt that even a moderately good pua could fuck every single one of their gfs while they’re at work at night. I want to help them, but I can’t. they’re all mid 20s. they should all be getting notches every fucking night. with all this information they could be cleaning up. but no. they’re all in ltrs with girls who do nothing for them but give up the occasional bang as long as they don’t do anything “wrong”

    “most of these people are not ready to be unplugged” and they will definitely kill the messenger.

    I feel like the old “Roissy” and Rollo are my second fathers. I feel reborn. but a man’s second birth is fucking painful, because unlike the first, he remembers everything.

    it borders on ironic that the biggest, strongest, “meanest” guys are often times the ones least capable of enduring that second birth. to all the guys out there worrying about not being genetically “blessed”… don’t be. frame and game trump all that shit.

    you can’t get taller, so quit worrying about it. you can get bigger, but it’s a bitch and after two years you’ll max out your genetic potential and diminishing returns will burn you out.

    but GAME… you can always improve your fucking game. i’m actually glad ya disappeared because he did what no man can seem to do… retire at the top of his game and become a legend.

    Read Rollo and ya, boys. read Rollo and ya. 90%+ of guys are really no competition at all and it’s starting to seem like, “the more ink, the less they sink the pink.”

  10. @ Culum Struan, theasdgamer, dr zipper, Sentient, stuffinbox

    Thanks!

    I use RM for masculine inspiration and mind expansion. My problem isn’t so much my intersexual relationship—I believe I have reached a “stable state” so long as my SMV remains higher. I also realize that I need to prepare, should I have to enter the shark-infested waters of the dating scene ever again.

    I find that much of my failings as a man center around my working and other relationships. Yesterday, I was counseling my Son about business. I told him, it’s like, Briffault’s Law applied to business. It’s not what you have done, but what you haven’t done that they want done. Negotiate then—once the task is done, no leverage.

    @theasdgamer
    The job market was made more difficult because I had been double-crossed by my higher-ups who kept the incompetent troublemaking woman and let me go. (The wife raises this as an argument that I miss stuff; so, my instincts must be bad.)

    The positive from this experience was that It opened my redpill-eyes about women bosses, co-workers and subordinates.

    The only issues I still see are age discrimination and the belief that older workers won’t work as hard, and we are not as impressed by lip service because we have been to the circus before. I will have to try having the interviewer qualify to me, but I still tend to believe that it would be a high-risk gambit.

    @ dr zipper & Sentient
    The Boss is a man about 10 years younger. I don’t know why I was coy about this. I do try not to doxx myself. A special thanks for the advice to avoid him. I find that, one of my failings has been to supplicate to the boss. I don’t supplicate that much but I often suffer from a lack of confidence, probably because I am too much in my own head.

    I found out he was attending because, he asked me if I had registered for the conference. I replied, “yes”, but didn’t elaborate. He said, “Cool”, and ended the call. I researched the expenditures report and found the items. He hasn’t raised the issue since, and I’m not going to bring it up.

    I have been keeping communications to a minimum with him. I have adopted the philosophy not to speak unless there is a benefit to me. I do not offer advice or discuss my plans. I tell him in vague terms when plans and projects have been completed.

    @ stuffinbox
    I plan to pursue some additional related certifications, since they seem to be the biggest bang for the effort/bucks. I think I’m too old to see much of a benefit from an MBA.

    The wife took the shit test nuclear—I’m not cooking, making your lunch, washing your clothes, not shopping for groceries. I’m sure SJF will say this was not the best handling, but, I told her that if she doesn’t want to be my wife, there is some paperwork to complete and file. Then, I stopped speaking to her. So, as I have mentioned before, this will probably go on until she reframes the argument without accepting any blame and we return to DEFCON 5.

    @ Anyone with a Grown Son
    So, my Son overheard my wife’s ranting, and called her a menopausal bitch. I don’t approve of this and told him not to disrespect his Mother. Of course, this fueled her rage even more with bitter rebuking that I allow him to speak to her in that manner. If I had said this to my Mother, my Dad probably would have kicked me out of the house or demanded an apology. Times are different. He sees the red pill and his statement was factually correct. Thoughts?

  11. IF I fell

    Why do you think your boss registered for the conference and why do you think he didn’t tell you he did?

    on this My problem isn’t so much my intersexual relationship—I believe I have reached a “stable state”

    ummm…. if this below is “Stable State”, then i don’t think it means the same thing as you think it does…

    The wife took the shit test nuclear—I’m not cooking, making your lunch, washing your clothes, not shopping for groceries. I’m sure SJF will say this was not the best handling, but, I told her that if she doesn’t want to be my wife, there is some paperwork to complete and file. Then, I stopped speaking to her. So, as I have mentioned before, this will probably go on until she reframes the argument without accepting any blame and we return to DEFCON 5.

    So you may want to reexamine where you are in capital G game applied knowledge, in a LTR context…

  12. IF I Fell

    Thoughts?

    @ Anyone with a Grown Son
    So, my Son overheard my wife’s ranting, and called her a menopausal bitch. I don’t approve of this and told him not to disrespect his Mother. Of course, this fueled her rage even more with bitter rebuking that I allow him to speak to her in that manner. If I had said this to my Mother, my Dad probably would have kicked me out of the house or demanded an apology.

    This isn’t about the FI, it is about having the respect of your son that he wouldn’t disrespect you by calling your wife a bitch in front of you. You need to get hold of your household. Patriarchy 2.0 just doesn not happen because you want it to. You need to exercise agency in making it happen and earning respect.

    Of course it doesn’t help any of you that he sees her tirade directed at you and you not handling that,, and then she watches his disrespect of you and her, not raising your SMV here hoss.

  13. “So, my Son overheard my wife’s ranting, and called her a menopausal bitch. I don’t approve of this and told him not to disrespect his Mother.”

    holy shit.

    I lived in fear of what would happen if I didn’t help her carry in the groceries or ask to be excused from the table after I finished dinner.

    calling her a name like bitch was literally unthinkable. dad would have murdered me where I stood. at least I thought so at the time.

  14. “Of course it doesn’t help any of you that he sees her tirade directed at you and you not handling that . . .”

    This. This is what needs to be fixed. It might be good that your son doesn’t speak disrespectfully to his mother, but it would be best if he didn’t have a point.

  15. @Fell

    The job market was made more difficult because I had been double-crossed by my higher-ups who kept the incompetent troublemaking woman and let me go.

    Competence is so over-rated by technical guys. Competent technical guys can be had for a dime.

    The wife raises this as an argument that I miss stuff; so, my instincts must be bad.

    Ya think?…lol, just kidding, but ya need to think about this.

    The positive from this experience was that It opened my redpill-eyes about women bosses, co-workers and subordinates.

    Maybe you’re starting to see daylight. Keep working on it. (I have to work on it constantly.)

    The only issues I still see are age discrimination and the belief that older workers won’t work as hard.

    Nah, this is like thinking that young girls don’t like old guys. That belief is what kills it for you. Your nonverbals will be shit.

    we are not as impressed by lip service because we have been to the circus before.

    Which means that you will be scary to younger guys.

    I will have to try having the interviewer qualify to me, but I still tend to believe that it would be a high-risk gambit.

    How many offers has your “low risk” approach gotten you?

    Try it once like you’re the cool old guy who will save the day for them. Make your nonverbals work for you. Don’t be the know-it-all techie!

    If the interviewer has to work to get you interested, you’ll get a better offer.

    It’s just Game and they’re just potential employers. (“They’re just girls.”)

    Demonstrate a LITTLE tech value. Don’t oversell it. (Like the rule, “Don’t overgame.”)

  16. … If I’d called my mom any kind of bitch, I wouldn’t be here typing this today. Lol, my dad would have executed my ass right on the spot, mostly because of the disrespect such an action would have showed him.

    I raised my voice in anger at my dad once in my life. I was 21 at the time. He was eating dinner and he stopped, put down his knife and fork, and slowly said ” boy, you better remember who you’re talking to…”, and it was like somebody threw a bucket of ice, like an ice bucket challenge, on me. I couldn’t apologize fast enough.

    I spent the rest of the day wondering ” what the fuck was I thinking? “.

  17. @KFG
    Thanks at least I know I am not crazy,or at least not any more than you.

    @Fleezer
    I work with some tough guys to and the reaction is often”they are just being girls” or “you soun like my dad he thinks everything went to hell when they let women vote lol”.
    The bitch is these guys are doing without on a reg basis!

    @If I Fell
    Sounds like a comfort test from a menopausal woman she may snap out of it,you can’t argue with crazy,shopping,cooking,dishes,and laundry are all bachelor norms and so is strange.Definitely make that boy apologise to his mother,or gtfo.

    Still sounds like your boss is a jagoff looking for any excuse to get out of dodge.

  18. “boy, you better remember who you’re talking to…”

    dad still calls me “boy” to this day and never lets me forget my place. I grew up thinking I worked for him and he only fed me and let me stay under his roof because he decided that’s how it was going to be. he made the rules. I had zero say in anything regarding the household and the older I got, the longer my chore list got. he made a shitload of money but the house was cold in the winter and hot in the summer. he only turned the air on when he felt like it. he grew up city poor and thought me having a room with finished walls was too fancy. there were big unused bedrooms and he still made me take the smallest one. I found the red pill without any trauma forcing me to do so and my respect for him actually grows the older I get because I find that after trying all kinds of ways of doing things, his are usually the best. he never preached about how he did things. he just did them and I watched.

    now contrast this with the spoiled households my friends grew up in. I remember one saying, “fuck you mom, give me my allowance”. she did. we used to smoke big bongs with several of my friends parents. have acid parties with underage girls staying overnight. the cops would get called because someone would freak out. the parents didn’t care at all. no one ever got grounded. houses were all warm in the winter, even the basements, and freezing cold in the summer. they got new cars at 16. they never lifted a finger around the house doing improvements or even cleaning. the cleaning ladies would have to ask the parents to have my friends put their drugs away when they came to clean. they were letting teenages snort ketamine and fuck teen girls in their houses. my friends had no respect for the parents and had shitty home lives. the ones I still talk to are blue pill as fuck, are owned by their bitch wives and hate their fathers. these people were all very rich and most would be envious of their lifestyles not knowing what went on inside.

    my hb8 wife grew up in a cold house in the winter. she had no air conditioning. her dad made plenty of money but he made the rules. he grew up country poor and thought everything was a luxury. I get sex and bjs daily and eat nothing but delicious homemade food. my wife will camp in 20 degree weather with 3 season gear. she never complains about anything.

    theory: a hardass dad, red pill or not, leads to a much greater probability that his son will find and take the red pill. part of the problem with all the sissy blue pillers today is the lack of hardass dads.

    theory: women who grow up in cold houses in the winter make the best wives. part of the problem with all these horrible women today is the lack of hardass dads.

    my dad didn’t give a fuck about being my friend. he didn’t care one bit if I liked him or not. he didn’t care if I was comfortable. I really love him for that. of course I would never tell him that because it would embarras the fuck out of both of us. and I call my mom every week, because if I didn’t it would be a slap in my dad’s face, and slapping my dad in the face is unthinkable.

  19. Great stuff from Rollo… and responses from Blax and others.

    From a woman’s perspective, masculinity is a very real, tangible thing. Even if it is hard to exactly define, they know it when they see it. When I started TRT this past year (testosterone cypionate injections), women seemed to notice immediately. I wasn’t doing anything differently. I did not look any different (at first). But they picked up on the sub-communication that a man gives off when he has healthy testosterone levels. Older women were particularly funny about it, with that “I know EXACTLY what’s going on!” look they would give me.

    Game just takes these testosterone-specific traits and amplifies them and builds relationships around them. I don’t think it particularly matters to women that a man is “taught” some of this. She knows that you probably heard that corny pickup line from someone else. What matters is not that you invented the line, but that you deliver it like a guy that is accustomed to getting away with talking to women like that. It is the masculine sub-communication (frame, etc..) that has to be authentic.

    After being on the testosterone long enough, I put on 15-20 lbs of muscle. That had an identical effect on women.** So the “just lift bro” advice on red pill reddit is really not bad. Getting in shape is more straightforward that adopting masculine subcommunication. And men who really can’t do either, should do themselves a favor and get their testosterone tested!

    ** Funny side-note — after packing on the muscle, my 93 year old grandmother shit tested me a couple of times (and yes, she has her marbles).

  20. @dr zipper

    Yeah every couple years that “single mommiez ROOL!” trope pops back up like in your BBC story. And there’s moar: that single mommyhood is as good as two-parented families, and even that it’s culturally better, and that fathers don’t matter, or that the menz just get in the way of your authorit-ah, or that fathers are even dangerous to children and other living things.

    As marriages continue to tank in the working and lower-middle class populations, expect this theme to come back more and more. Defining deviancy down. It must be OK if everyone’s doing it and hey look everyone is doing it.

    Even though we now are getting really good data that, with boys especially, the absence of a father really infests their blessed little pointed heads when they get bigger, go to school, grow up, try to get some sense of self…

    I always go a bit berserker when I hear this stuff because it fucked me up big time long ago in my Blue Period. Specifically, once the sprog came out the chute the wife didn’t get post-partum depression – I got it instead. Go figure. Lasted some months too. Though I did get past it and right myself, with some work, popping Xanax like peanut M&M’s.

    What made it worse: during that time this whole “Dad is Bad” thing was the heighth of fashion among sociologists, pundits, academics, and other fart-smellers. Heard it so much that from time to time I bought into the idea I should just fade away during some dark night of my soul, head off forever to the Great White North, leave some money behind, and I would be doing my family a big favor by my gift of the absence of my nasty cisheterosexist pustuled persun.

    I suspect I wasn’t the only one getting that evangel. A lot of other sad dads did find the vanishing point. Their demises celebrated as blows against the patriarchy.

  21. About mentors…

    I’ve been lucky that SJF and I have connected in real life. The dude has gone above and beyond with enormous patience in helping understand the red pill and slowly but surely move past blue pill thinking and beta behaviors. I’m a slow ass learner, so he gets repetitive until I start getting shit down. If you can connect with someone who has the time and patience it’s of enormous value to have access to their knowledge and practical experience. Omg dudes have a lot to offer.

  22. @ All, Thanks!

    DEFCON 4—quicker than expected. She bought groceries, made dinner, asked about my lunch tomorrow.

    While she was gone I had some one-on-one with my Son. He asked me what I thought about his plan to move into a townhouse with a group of people. One of the people is his girlfriend (Nice girl -2 to his SMV).

    I told him that unless he wanted to marry her really soon or run from the townhouse while all of his possessions were being thrown at his head to her shrieking, “You bastard!” I told him, wait another year, save your money, and move out with guys only.

    I’m not a good patriarch. But, I believe that had I done the throw him through a wall or out of the house, I would have made things exponentially worse–even irreparable.

    Now, to deal with the Boss, the conference and the career advancement issue…and yes the next escalation to DEFCON 1.

  23. If I Fell, how long has this Boss been your Boss? How easy is it for you to maintain frame around this person? Suggest you not let that person run your agenda at the convention. You should pick the sessions that are likely to benefit YOU, and make time to socialize away from that person, because making contacts matters and you don’t need someone blocking you. It’s not our fathers world, corporate loyalty is zero. Informal job search is pretty much an ongoing thing from day one on a new job or contract.

    No idea what your wife is taking in the way of herbals or meds, but there are various combos of herbals that can do good to the pre/ peri / menopausal female. Hormone replacement is a whole other debate, and a long one. Whatever way is chosen, iron frame and solid Game is surely going to be a good thing.

    Cosign your advice to son. If he’s in college he should concentrate on completion ASAP with minimal debt. If he’s working he should keep liabilities in his own living quarters to a minimum.
    Having his girly living there provides nothing anymore – the liability of marriage and zero security.

    IMO as always.

  24. “But, I believe that had I done the throw him through a wall or out of the house, I would have made things exponentially worse–even irreparable.”

    C’mon, man. Why buffer so? Is this really what patriarchs do? Is meat-fisted violence your definition of patriarch?

    Now we’re getting some where….

  25. Meat fisted violence iis a necessary evil at times. The threat of it, real or imagined, can not be discounted.

    A side note/observation. Lots of men seem to lack the special discipline that comes with an ass whooping. This is a perfect example of the.FI in effect the coddling and babying of males, making them soft, or worse, insufferable assholes. They have weak concepts of limits because they fear zero physical consequence.

    Children need to respect their fathers ( when they are present and doing all they can to be good, caring fathers ). Abusive assholes are an exception.

    Feminist have burned the midnight oil to eliminate the physical component from all males. It makes it easier to yell and scream and be habitual line steppers.

    Violence iis a wonderful art when applied correctly. Lol, I shit you not. It can be likened to nuclear
    deterrence. Without iit the weak and mean and stupid rule….. Much like the average workplace.

  26. Re the OP and teaching slaves to read. A few of my observations to date:

    Don’t talk about fight club, it just causes problems if not handled right

    Men who are a bit older will only likely be receptive to the RP once they have had some kind of substantial crisis in relationship land that has left them at a very very low point in their lives.

    A man who is a puddle of piss following a bad breakup may be receptive to direct instruction. Most are not, it’s still too much of a mind fuck for their ego investment. If they have arrived at “totally hopeless”, they are probably ready, even then it’s a 50/50 proposition at best.

    Young men and boys can much more easily be brought to the RP with Socratic method. Engage their innate curiosity and powers of observation to bring them along. One of my favorites is to work with young men, get them talking about girls, then start asking about how girls act. just work on simple observations for a while then ask them to do one simple thing for a week, “Watch what they do, not what they say”. It’s a dead easy concept to understand even for an 8 year old.

    A week later ask them if they have sensed any difference between what is said and what is done. See if they can understand why perhaps that is the case. Make sure as part of it they understand that girls hide the truth from themselves as much as they do from men. It never needs to be framed as us vs them, it needs to be framed as: “Hey do you want to know some cheat codes?”. Young people can be very receptive to learning new skills. They don;t need to know they are subverting the BP or the FI, they just need to know that they are learning some neat tricks that can allow them to pull things off their friends cannot. It then opens their minds to deeper concepts.

    Another oblique angle I have used to introduce RP ides is actually conversations about evo-bio. Men are logical and are ready to accept science. It takes longer, but building a foundation of evo-bio with a guy can set the table for the introduction of sociological concepts within RP.

  27. A believable threat of actual violence is the deterrent. I saw it in my Dad’s eyes, had closed-fisted beatings enough that I learned to hide my transgressions. I feared his country boy snap anger.

    I’ve not needed to beat my children past 6 y.o. but they’ve understood I would, could.

    Oh wait, I threw my cad son’s head against a mirror last week. It made a nice clunk sound.

  28. @blax

    “Violence is a wonderful art when applied correctly. Lol, I shit you not. It can be likened to nuclear deterrence. Without iit the weak and mean and stupid rule….. Much like the average workplace.”

    I was reminded of this when looking at the CH post on the Huntington beach skuffle out in CA over the weekend where a bunch of ANTIFA guys got up in the faces of some Trumpian Dudebros. I think the ANTIFA guys have been having a hell of a time since November imagining nobody is going to ever push back at them as they are essentially a state endorsed enforcement arm of the left. Then one of them (ANTIFA) threw a swing and fired off some pepper spray. All of a sudden those same ANTIFA guys found out exactly what the actuality of physical violence is vs the mere threat of physical violence. The pictures of the one who threw the first punch after he had been “brought back down to reality” by the dudebros was priceless, he lay in the sand looking like a scared 12 year old. He looked even more sad and confused when a police dog starting nipping at his feet and he got hauled away by the cops for assault.

    Also reminds me of an old video on an NYC subway, some ho got all riled up and let off some hits at a large brother. He takes a few IIRC but then he just lands one round house slap to her head and drops her instantly to the floor. Point made very quickly. I don’t imagine she would be running off to assault any brothers of his size again in the near term after her little episode.

    I think we see too much abstract violence on the TV and we rarely see actual physical violence IRL and it gives many people a very distorted view of their own potential power or agency in a situation like that. Particularly Go Gurrrllls these days I think see too many Disney Star Wars films and imagine they can just get up and kick a guys ass because they feel like it and they know they have the power of the state and the FI behind them. Then the fist meets the flesh and life changes extremely fast.

    It’s one reason I hate hearing all this SJW crap about how people are doing them “violence” and “assaulting them” by merely speaking about ideas. They don’t know actual violence until it literally hits them in the head, only then will their violence meter be correctly calibrated.

  29. With great power comes great responsibility, the FI tries to ensure that we obscure the power and disavow the responsibility

  30. “Feminist have burned the midnight oil to eliminate the physical component from all males. It makes it easier to yell and scream and be . . .”

    . . . violent.

  31. Two of the people I would like to see recieve violence and mayhem,those that encourage children to report their parents for discipline and those that write scripts with blue pill fathers,like this is how it should be.

    My children have never threatened me with reporting,but I know many that have.

    I believe unrealistic parenting shows cause more harm than violent shows.

  32. One of my favorite morning rituals,when the young guy falls asleep in the truck on the way to work,I weave back and forth slamming their head against the door glass until they awaken to claims of deer crossing.

  33. Since I’ve alpha’d up, I’ve been getting into fights or guys fucking with me, esp. in the last three months. It’s me, not them. I don’t provoke, but I’m doing something, having a good time, misrepresenting myself, apparently. Not calibrating the social scene, what others think, even if I’m non-threatening, draws attention, good and bad.

    Being jumped with Mrs. Eh weeks back and these big dudes wanting to throw down, fucking with my chair. Me. I’m the slightest guy at 6′, 160#. Is it as simple as I’m easy pickings? My mouth doesn’t run at bars and I don’t talk smack. I’m a talkative, happy, chill guy. I sexualize conversations a lot though. Maybe that’s it, or part of it. Blax and fleezer are guys who’s physical presences, attitudes alone obviate a lot, no?

    Am I alone here? I get the feeling my shoe’s going to drop with some OPCK shot. I’m not tough…thus I’ve gotta be smart. I talk about these situations with my boys, how to navigate the subtleties of phony vs. real displays of aggression, how to nimbly stand one’s ground, deescalate, defend, run.

    I’m with Blax that it’s better to walk away. Here’s the rub: At some point avoiding, retreating from those displays of violence, bravado begins the slope of agency loss. Example: Last weekend, walking to my car with son past a night club, I say to a girl clutch in passing “Yay! Hotties! Very nice, very nice.” I’m not even opening them per se and continue on to the car. There’s a tipsy guy who’s now pissed and starts following us, standing behind my car, yelling obscenities, baiting, “Who do ya think ya are, fucker? Pussy!” My son was nervously cool about it. Hm.

    Why can’t I dance at a bar with my wife and then drive her home? Is that now socially unacceptable RP behavior too? Is this my burden of performance? It’s o.k. if it is.

    Thanks for the conversation.

  34. EhIntellect

    Is it as simple as I’m easy pickings? My mouth doesn’t run at bars and I don’t talk smack. I’m a talkative, happy, chill guy.

    Probably too much eye contact with guys, and an open relaxed posture. A wise ass. That and they see you having fun with girls and they get angry it’s not them.

  35. When KFG says “it’s babies all the way down” the other end of that is… it’s intra-male competition.

  36. @Intellect

    It’s me, not them. I don’t provoke, but I’m doing something, having a good time, misrepresenting myself, apparently. Not calibrating the social scene, what others think, even if I’m non-threatening, draws attention, good and bad.

    You create envy by having fun and getting female attention.

    Read Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power Law # 46: “Never appear too perfect”. It discusses how to deal with envy. “I’m just lucky”…

    You need to AMOG the other men and chat up the bouncers. Give value to your potential competitors so that they look up to you.

  37. “Probably too much eye contact with guys, and an open relaxed posture. A wise ass.”

    Guilty on all three counts. Thanks.

    Will read again, it’s at my bedside.

  38. That is one thing about the bar scene that will always be present,actually anywhere that serves alcohol will have guys that lose their good judgment and want to fight also women that get sloppy or fighty.

    It is best to be the most sober guy there,some inhibitions are good to have.I can learn alot by watching people out of the corner of my eye,it helps to be aware of who the trouble makers are.

    Always been my experience drunks are easy to handle,and easier to disarm,disable or detain.

  39. Once upon a time, my drummer and I were sitting in the back corner of a bit of an alcove when chairs a flyin’ hell broke loose.

    After watching the proceedings from our position out of the lanes of fire for a minute or so, my drummer looks at me and says, “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let’s mix big, stupid people with alcohol.”

  40. “Rams butting heads”

    A few years back the traffic was stopped on top of Independence pass,to observe the bighorns.Suddenly on of the rams bowed up and rammed this man right off of his motorcycle.
    Messed him up bad broken ribs punctured lung,he had to be transported,strange MOI.

    It could be that he smelled like an old goat.

  41. After making a career in the spirits industry for quite some time now I can tell you that alcohol is the single most important catalyst in discovering the true nature people keep inside. I’ve known happy drunks, likes-to-blather drunks, belligerent likes-to-fight drunks, the whore-inside drunks, sleepy drunks, etc. but the easiest drunk to spot while sober is the Beta White Knight drunk.

    He’s the guy who designates himself as the official cock blocker, hall monitor and savior of the pretty girls who ‘just had a little too much’ and aren’t really like this normally. Mix in alcohol and White Knight drunk looks for confrontations (potentially violent ones) he would never consider while sober. I’ve had guys like this work for me and there came a point where I had to tell them to be more careful because A) they’ll get killed or B) the girl they think their saving by getting her a cab or a ride home while drunk can very easily drop false rape or sex-assault charges on them for something they think they remembered the morning after.

    Most of these guys subscribe to the Savior Schema, thinking the hot girl will reciprocate with (hopefully sober and consensual) sex for being her hero. This intensifies when the WK gets drunk and his inhibitions are down. He sets himself up for a world of hurt, but his base nature is Blue Pill so it doesn’t give an afterthought to cold realities.

  42. ” . . . the girl they think their saving by getting her a cab or a ride home while drunk can very easily drop false rape or sex-assault charges on them . . .”

    If you are ever inclined, for whatever reason, to step into a physical altercation between a man and a woman – Do.Not.Turn.Your.Back.On.The.Woman.

    Unless you want a shiv in your back for some reason.

  43. Had a friend god rest his soul,was a white knight of the dangerous kind.Went to prison when he was 18 for breaking down a door and breaking up a domestic quarrel by beating the husband half to death.They may have let him go if he hadn’t jumped through this other guys windshield after the guy locked himself in the car to get away. Died in a car wreck at 22.

  44. @Rollo

    Most of these guys subscribe to the Savior Schema, thinking the hot girl will reciprocate with (hopefully sober and consensual) sex for being her hero.

    Yeah, white knight amateurs shouldn’t try this. Leave it to the professionals. Call me if a broad really needs rescuing:

    Gamer Save-a-ho Inc….experience both saving and getting reciprocated

  45. @Eh

    Since I’ve alpha’d up — Self taught.

    Not calibrating the social scene, what others think, even if I’m non-threatening, draws attention, good and bad.

    Situational awareness must also be learned/self taught. This is the general idea:

  46. Many Thanks

    DEFCON 5 – Wife and Son made up and, over dinner, they both shit tested me on spending more money on an aging car instead of buying a newer one.

    I think a lot of this is “fog of menopause” stuff for which I will continue to push her to pursue better bio-identical HRT.

    “Fog” example, I found a long-shot opportunity in my field that is 2 states away and about a 6 hour trip by car. The job, most likely, doesn’t pay enough to consider it, but who knows. First, I was shit tested for not considering it. Then, when I said that I would apply. I was shit tested that my children wouldn’t want to move and was reminded that I have aging parents locally. When I projected that it would mean about a year of winding down our affairs, and being a weekend husband at best—shit test. When, I reconsidered, and delayed applying—shit test.

    Yes, women and shit tests go together, and there isn’t a way to avoid it—maybe diminish it with plates and ZFGs, but this is much worse and more irrational, if that is possible. I realize that my, “There’s paperwork to file if you don’t want to be my wife anymore,” comment sounded like poor game and, yes, it was. However, it is less so when you consider the “fog” issue. Even Blaximus, whose comments I respect, made a silly comment about buying more KY jelly to combat the symptoms. That’s not going to fix the brain chemistry issue.

    @ EhIntellect
    OK, Hulk smash, bad?

    @ Kick-Ass Fathers
    You can look at it as disrespecting me by disrespecting my wife. That’s valid. He also disrespected his mother because he felt that she was disrespecting me. A couple of years ago, for some similar offense, I threw him to the ground and put him into a choke hold. However, it wasn’t effective. It didn’t solve anything, and I felt kind of stupid for doing it.

    @ asdgamer
    I’m going to focus on being the cool save the day old guy. Sell but not oversell. Also, I plan to re-listen to portions of the best audio book I’ve found on the subject, The Job Search Solution By Tony Bashara

    @ Anonymous Reader
    Boss about 2.5 years. Maintain Frame = yes, although I am re-educating myself not to blue pill supplicate—more my fault. The conference came up in our meeting today—I now believe it’s more window-dressing for his Boss. I also found out he’s losing his assistant who does the detail management that he’s weak in. So, he won’t have time to play in my swimming pool.

    @ Sentient
    RE: Nuclear Shit Test = DEFCON 1, Almost Normal = DEFCON 4 I’m not sure why you feel this needs checking?

    One Last Conference Question…

    The venue is a large hotel, 4 nights. Other than the obvious: don’t get drunk, don’t be boorish, avoid trouble, don’t retire too early or stay out too late; any advice on how to maximize the off-hours?

  47. “….any advice on how to maximize the off-hours?”

    Channeling Sentient, be irrationally self confident. Be dynamic, passionate and authentic.
    Act as if “You Got this.”

    Monogamous guys have issues at conferences, but it is a time to just be a learning experience. Learn about yourself. Learn about your craft (whatever the conference is about). Learn. Don’t be inhibited. Don’t be afraid. Don’t curb your enthusiasm. Don’t curb your Walter White from Breaking Bad’s dark side.

    Push your fucking edge and don’t fall off of the edge.

    Act like a masculine male with strength, courage, mastery and honor among other males for a change during a conference.

    The conference is a Frame battle.

    “Yogi Berra’s famous quotes: ‘Baseball is 90 per cent mental. The other half is physical’”

    Conference game is 90% mental, the other half is physical. Going where your best representation of yourself can be represented well.

    Put on a good show and feel good that you are going there for Agency.

    Side note you must Game other women. It is required. Even if you don’t want to are bad at it, feel like not doing it, Etc. No one is harmed in you efforts. And you recalibrate your LTR efforts at home, your wife mis-behaving and all.

  48. @EhIntellect

    “”I don’t provoke, but I’m doing something, having a good time, misrepresenting myself, apparently. Not calibrating the social scene, what others think, even if I’m non-threatening, draws attention, good and bad.””

    I find myself in this situation, often within my own social circle. Certain guys suddenly take an instant dislike to me regardless of whether I’m friendly or aloof.

    The guys who do this are generally beta, often angry at life, often resent me in some way and make a snide remark. If I’m with a hot girl, they will very often start hitting on the girl ignoring me. It can be funny, it can be infuriating.

    I’m now keeping a lower profile in certain situations to avoid the drama.

  49. If I Fell
    I now believe it’s more window-dressing for his Boss. I also found out he’s losing his assistant who does the detail management that he’s weak in. So, he won’t have time to play in my swimming pool.

    Ok, if your Boss is just looking to check boxes (“Conference: Check, Relevant Sessions Attended: Check”) then possibly you could set him up in places / times out of your pool. He gets box-checking, you get the needed networking. Win. Just don’t let him cram you into the role of assistant – you are doing this THIS TIME to be team player, not as a permanent role.

    One Last Conference Question…

    The venue is a large hotel, 4 nights. Other than the obvious: don’t get drunk, don’t be boorish, avoid trouble, don’t retire too early or stay out too late; any advice on how to maximize the off-hours?

    What is your goal? What is your mission at this conference? Decide that for yourself. Not for your wife’s feelz, not for your Boss’s box-checking.

  50. Here’s my theory here. Outside of wealth and status, what makes a man attractive to woman? Looks are very important of course. And online dating such as Tinder has exaggerated this aspect. But equally as important is a man’s personality. His confidence, ability to know what to say, how to adjust his body language etc. You could call it charisma, charm, social intelligence. When women claim they want a “sense of humor” in a man they are probably referring to this. It is of course Game.

    Natural alphas are born with an intrinsically high social intelligence. This would be largely genetic. So women selecting charming, charismatic men with good Game are unconsciously selecting men who are genetically fit. So of course they won’t like it when men with average social intelligence learn to emulate (through Game and Redpill theory) many aspects of men with high genetic social intelligence. Its subverting women’s genetic fitness testing.

    (I’ve argued with some guys online who think that looks are the *only* thing women find attractive in men. This is daft. Take a guy with model good looks but very low social intelligence, and women will sense something “off” about him and rapidly lose interest.)

    1. Natural alphas are born with an intrinsically high social intelligence. This would be largely genetic.

      Only half true. Genetics only help a guy insofar as it garners him a default, physical interest from girls. He’s still got to have the capacity to experiment, learn and adapt instinctually to what works and what doesn’t like anyone else. The ‘natural’ just got an early start than most guys:
      https://therationalmale.com/2012/06/29/the-origin-of-alpha/

  51. From Rollo’s Essay via Twitter – Imagination

    This requires covertly communicating that other women find you desirable. Women crave the chemical rush that comes from suspicion and indignation.

    recent vignette… Out to dinner with another couple. waitress comes from over my right shoulder to fill my wine glass while we are speaking. I quarter turn and glance at her and then double take and she smiles and says hello. This is my “kryptonite” girl from a FR a few months back.. where we were flirting and kino’ing and I went to kiss her and she was like “not here” here she was working but off duty. I slim, pretty young blonde. I say “hey… what are you doing here” and she says she left the other place and is working here now. I ask her if she is here full time, she says yes. I say “good… well I’ll be seeing you around then”. and she says goodbye and goes off. She wasn’t our waitress just helping pour (maybe??? Maybe not, maybe she came over to pour just my glass so I would see her…?? lol). Wife, engaging me and the table “you are such a flirt “I’ll be seeing you around…” and then she and the other wife are tittering and laughing at this and I smile and shrug and we go on to our conversation.

    Another day at a kids sports game, a yummy mummy is going past me and the wife tossing a football in the air as she walks. I say “careful… somebody might tackle you…” with good eye contact. She stops “what?” I say it again and nod to the football. She laughs and comes over by my side (we were seated on front row of bleachers) and starts to tell me her 7 YO kid was tackling her the other day blah blah… we laugh a bit and she goes on. Wife just shakes head.

  52. @Rugby: “I have my own personal culture.”

    The guy is on the right track, but he doesn’t understand culture. Steve Jobs did not have a “personal culture,” he had Apple. Apple had a culture.

  53. @Rollo: “The true masters are the artists that combine both natural talent and the drive that comes from a passion for it.”

    r/K selection has a biological component. A physical cause tendency to be either “rabbity” or “wolfy.” A lot of naturals get their early start and learn with comparative ease because they are born more wolfy than rabbity.

    But many a race has been won by the man who wants it more than the “natural talent.”

    And then you’ve got yer Usain “Lightning” Bolts and Eddy “The Cannibal” Merckxs.

  54. The reason he blows you away isn’t because of his genetics, but because of how early he started. A unique set of circumstances threw him into the sex game years before you, during a time he was lucky enough to be surrounded by giggly schoolgirls. By the time you did your first approach, he had already practiced his game on hundreds of women.

    That’s Roosh, but I would say that a Natural’s “unique set of circumstances” are in fact genetic in origin. After that, his Game is largely instinctual, but there is a learning process that goes with it.

  55. Usain had to learn to run and Eddy had to learn to ride a bike, just like everybody else. If they had learned badly, their natural talents would have been muted.

    And after Dubai I guess I’ll add Arrogate to the list. That wasn’t simply the product of a physically superior athlete, it had to be combined with a superior mindset:

  56. but I would say that a Natural’s “unique set of circumstances” are in fact genetic in origin. After that, his Game is largely instinctual, but there is a learning process that goes with it.

    Pattern Recognition – origins are genetic, can be enhanced by learning. Game is decoded pattern recognition that can be learned.

  57. I’m dubious of the “we’re all born alpha” claim.

    Western culture clearly betaizes many otherwise alphas, though.

  58. IF I Fell

    One Last Conference Question…

    The venue is a large hotel, 4 nights. Other than the obvious: don’t get drunk, don’t be boorish, avoid trouble, don’t retire too early or stay out too late; any advice on how to maximize the off-hours?

    Out drink everyone, be charismatic, get into a little bit of trouble and stay out late…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4h-TGkewR8

    Example – ACT! Don’t react… Be the guy who is doing something… Has a plan…

    So for example with your conference… Do you have standing reservations every night at a cool dinner spot? So when you meet someone and they are interesting or helpful you can bounce them? Do you know the cool bars near the venue? Do you know some quiet coffee places you can slink off to? Be a plugged in guy…

    Spend more time hanging around the lobby lounge, the places off to the side, the bar in the hotel… A LOT of key face to face time is going to happen outside of the sessions… and typically the heavier hitters will spend the least time at the conference events…

    The lobby bars after people come back from their dinners are gold… and the after hours in room mini bar parties are platinum… You need to be in the mix late though to get access if you are not already plugged in…

    Speaking of already plugged in have you made plans with guys NOW pre conference? Or are you showing up and winging it? The plugged in guys already have plans set.

    Leverage vendors… usually there are throngs of vendors around servicing clients… Befriend them, use them to make intros for you to people you want to meet. Use them for intel… Groom them like a Field Agent.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2MV-x924KA

    Beta approach to getting what you want – work hard and be rewarded, with a lot of passive aggresive behavior along the way… Alpha approach – TAKE what you want. Make it happen.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbr3bkny0OQ

    Are you happy with 50%?

  59. @Sentient – “Beta approach to getting what you want – work hard and be rewarded, with a lot of passive aggresive behavior along the way… Alpha approach – TAKE what you want. Make it happen.”

    Bullseye. I tried the beta for a while — way too long. Part of my RP awakening was about taking action, leveraging my value, and not taking no for an answer. It has been fucking magical. I’ve made more progress career-wise in the last few years than all of them before.

    Life ain’t fair. Nobody except possibly family gives a shit about you. Nothing personal, that’s just how it works.

  60. “He’s still got to have the capacity to experiment, learn and adapt instinctually to what works and what doesn’t like anyone else. The ‘natural’ just got an early start than most guys:”

    I think I get what you’re saying. But look at what higher-functioning autism apparently is – a neurological impairment of the ability to intuitively understand social interactions. Probably genetic. You can learn to compensate through logic and learning, but you’re always going to be way behind the ball compared to people who just “get it”.

    Conversely, it stands to reason there are people who are genetic gifted to intuitively understand social interactions at a well above normal level. In males, these would be “natural alphas”. This would give a huge advantage over guys who have to slowly learn this through logic, reason, trial and error. But you’re right, just like a naturally gifted athlete still has to train and develop his talents, a natural alpha would still have to develop his.

  61. @CSI

    But look at what higher-functioning autism apparently is – a neurological impairment of the ability to intuitively understand social interactions.

    Autism is probably closer to constant sensory overload, which impairs the recognition of social cues because those cues get lost amid the signals from the senses.

    Drugs (e.g., alcohol & caffeine) help me to function more like a neurotypical. Last Fri. night I wasn’t “behind the ball”. PUAs were looking to me for social proof.

    Conversely, it stands to reason there are people who are genetic gifted to intuitively understand social interactions

    I think that there’s also some genetic basis for social intelligence which is distinct from being able to receive & process social cues in a timely manner. Said social intelligence can be used to formulate strategies to minimize losing social cues to sensory overload.

    I point you to RSD Tyler (Owen Cook), an autist and a world-renowned PUA. He is very socially skilled and able to operate real time despite his autism.

  62. No time to read all of the comments. Waiting on my hb9 to get out from under some random guy and come over for drinks….lol,

    Nah, I’m kidding.

    @ If-I-Fell

    ” Yes, women and shit tests go together, and there isn’t a way to avoid it—maybe diminish it with plates and ZFGs, but this is much worse and more irrational, if that is possible. I realize that my, “There’s paperwork to file if you don’t want to be my wife anymore,” comment sounded like poor game and, yes, it was. However, it is less so when you consider the “fog” issue. Even Blaximus, whose comments I respect, made a silly comment about buying more KY jelly to combat the symptoms. That’s not going to fix the brain chemistry issue.”

    I don’t remember saying anything like that with a measure of seriousness, but then again I am old and getting older every damn year.

    Shit tests.

    My wife was approaching menopause, or so her doctor said over a year ago. I have a little experience with menopausal women ( Mom and a few very close friends long ago ), so I am aware and braced and prepared.

    Did you have issues with the wife right after child birth? I ask because that is one of the only other times in a woman’s life when she experiences a shift in her hormones anywhere close to what happens in menopause. It’s much, much shorter duration after childbirth though.

    Understanding what is happening to a woman during menopause can lessen the semi-trauma of dealing with someone who appears to have lost their minds ( technically, they have ” lost ” their minds as they aren’t the same person chemically ). It will level out eventually.

    My only advice would be something on the order of ” don’t take her behavior too seriously and get dragged into the toxic hormonal brew “. She may appear completely insane for a short time. Be prepared by doubling down on your resolve without getting drawn into her emotional E-ticket rollercoaster ride.

    But shit tests should be handled as always. Don’t fret them, hold your frame always, and remember that it’s really all about you. You can pass them or you can ignore them.

    What I do recall saying about KY, is that I had my wife tell me that when old age/menopause affects her, she’ll get a 50 gallon drum of KY.

    I took that as a positive sign. She gets ” excited ” and still flows like the Amazon river, but I’m not dumb enough to think that this will go on forever. She was starting to get hot flashes and her menstrual was getting unpredictable ( I know this is TMI, but I’m trying to make some kind of point that married guys should grasp ). Her doc told her she was nearing the big ” M “. She took personal offense to this as she doesn’t consider herself old(er). She lost 15 pounds ( her bodyfat level is sick now ) and lifts heavy, and runs and does all kinds of crazy calisthenics. A few weeks ago I woke up and found her in the den something like this _

    http://payload448.cargocollective.com/1/18/582314/11264444/CBQ_black_KO-2_500.jpg

    And Lo and Behold she’s back to ” normal “.

    …. but it’s a stop-gap measure. I’m not gonna be lulled into a false sense of relief.

    Remember that ” Married ” game is slightly different that your garden variety game. There will indeed be times when more comfort is called for and less dread. Just never let it become a go to move. Thing is, she’s the one actually going through this. You’re basically an innocent bystander..Lol.

    @ Kick-Ass Fathers
    You can look at it as disrespecting me by disrespecting my wife. That’s valid. He also disrespected his mother because he felt that she was disrespecting me. A couple of years ago, for some similar offense, I threw him to the ground and put him into a choke hold. However, it wasn’t effective. It didn’t solve anything, and I felt kind of stupid for doing it.

    Okay, this is for all of the ” yet to be Dads ” out there reading along.

    When you become a father, it is Paramount that you make your presence known from the moment of birth. You have to be a constant presence. Before your children can even sit up or speak, you are to begin teaching them. And one of the very first lessons they must get is that you are in control. This doesn’t mean being an asshole to little defenseless babies, lol, but you are making as strong of an imprint on them as you can.

    I always stress that men can’t leave ” all of that baby shit ” strictly to the mothers. Raising sons is different than raising daughters, but both are equally important for a new father to master. You’re effectively drawing a blueprint for their lives. You don’t want sonny to grow up being a beta-cuck, nor do you want your daughter turning into some masculine, SJW feminazi. This is more important than what their mom can give them. There is nothing better for any child than having exposure to a strong, kind and loving masculine father.

    Corporal punishment.

    ( HABD, I feel the FI pushing on me…) Okay, in 2017 this is a delicate, individual subject. My only advice on that subject is for a man never to absolutely rule it out. The trick is, IMO, not to wait too late when deciding to utilize the final solution. I only have 2 kids, and both are daughters. I’m keenly aware of the dangers of being an abusive father when daughters are involved. When I found that reasoning did not get the desired results with my daughters, they got a spanking…. lightly, because it wasn’t the ” force ” that was important. My oldest daughter is 31, my youngest is 17, and I’ve spanked each once. That was all that was required. By the time my youngest was 10, she would ask me to ” explain to me what I’m doing wrong please…”, and she listened.

    But I believe corporal punishment has a definite expiration date. Putting a grown or teenaged son in a choke-hold will yield unpredictable and mixed results. The trick of fatherhood is to get them to a point where your words are enough. They have to know when to take you 100% seriously. And above all else, they must respect you and your word. This is a long assed project, and one of the major reason’s the YaReally and crew bent me out of shape with the cavalier and silly attitude towards fatherhood and raising kids.

    Being a dad will not render you perfect and all knowing. You will still fuck up a few things. No problem, just fix it. Always fix it, and the sooner the better. Dads rise above trivial, silly shit at all times. Accept the mantle of authority as undefeated head of your household.

  63. @CSI

    I don’t think you really get what Rollo is saying. And your comment reeks of bias.

    I’m not trying to be antagonistic.

    You have to read through the link provided and click on and read the hyperlinks.

    It’s still going to come down to half. Genetic bonuses, and acquired cultural skills.

    Alpha is an attitude propped up by positive early experiences. It doesn’t take much genetic bonus to learn learning skills, social skills, and Alpha Skills. But it does take hard work. And that is the usual reason some men don’t reap the benefit of being socialized well for the end product they want to be later on. It’s just to hard for them emotionally.

  64. “It’s still going to come down to half. Genetic bonuses, and acquired cultural skills.”

    I think the same.
    Alphas are higher T and T is related to both environmental (and behavioral) factors as well as genetic factors.
    The percentage I’ve always been suspect of is the 20 percent one.

    I will say I see in my sons the difference between “natural” (my husband’s traits) and environmental (my traits…particularly my oldest, who takes after me most).

  65. “Alphas are higher T and T is related to both environmental (and behavioral) factors as well as genetic factors.”

    Note that in my earlier comment I said “biological” and “physical cause,” but did not say “genetic.” Genetics are a biological physical cause, but not the only one.

  66. ” Conversely, it stands to reason there are people who are genetic gifted to intuitively understand social interactions at a well above normal level. In males, these would be “natural alphas”. This would give a huge advantage over guys who have to slowly learn this through logic, reason, trial and error. But you’re right, just like a naturally gifted athlete still has to train and develop his talents, a natural alpha would still have to develop his.”

    Disagree mostly with the first part of the premise.

    People don’t intuit social interactions. Everyone under the sun ” learns ” how to interact socially by interacting socially. The ” normal levels ” of social interaction will be subjective.

    Learning social interactions by using logic and reason will stunt social development, because interactions that aren’t logical or reasonable will evade understanding. People are not usually logical or reasonable in life. People are largely emotional on many levels.

    The best method for a young man to learn how to socially interact with others is by interacting with everyone he can, repeatedly. If you never leave a small, secluded social group, your social skills will be stunted somewhat, but moreso your ability to interact freely ” off the cuff “.

  67. Lol,

    The best way to not have low Testosterone in males is to have and Alpha attitude and low stress.

    @ Anon

    The social anxiety you mentioned in Field Reports is all just Domain Dependence. It’s not a thing. It’s just you. It is fully manufactured if existing in an INTJ. INTJ’s fully believe in their introversion and relish it. I did, until I didn’t. I flipped over to using socializing to my advantage and having fun with it in Game. But don’t fear that, (and I’m speaking to you having your oldest son in hand) because I’m just being myself these days. Authentic and congruent as an INTJ that has supreme skills.

    It is merely buffering. I’m not saying that is bad. It serves a very useful purpose for you with a stable family life including what I suspect is a good husband and good sons. (BTW, my mom had four sons and no daughters. As an INTJ, it was the best thing ever. She was great. And I didn’t miss for not having sisters. I would have been judgmental as hell about women if I did have sisters. I eked by with my judgmentalism about non-sexual relationship women and I rarely judged my intimate women because of not having sisters. Women are great.)

    Long story short, I suspect you have the luxury of that buffer of not socializing because of your family. Good for you. No judgement here and no judgement needed if you are happy and satisfied.

    The deal is you probably still are (in the fifth dimension of Myers-Briggs) ranking as (T)urbulent rather than (A)ssertive. Me and my buddies I roll with who are INTJ’s are Assertive. And we get out there.

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