The Pheromonal Beta

You choke the chicken before any big date, don’t you? 

Anyone who’s seen Something About Mary is pretty familiar with the now classic ‘Hair Gel’ incident.

Dom: You choke the chicken before any big date, don’t you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn’t flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That’s like going out there with a loaded gun! Of course that’s why you’re nervous. Oh my dear friend, please sit, please. Look, um, after you’ve had sex with a girl, and you’re lying in bed with her, are you nervous? No, you’re not, why?

Ted: Cause I’m tired…

Dom: Wrong! It’s ’cause you ain’t got the baby batter on the brain anymore! Jesus, that stuff will fuck you’re head up! Look, the most honest moment in a man’s life are the few minutes after he’s blown his load – now that is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you’re no longer trying to get laid, you’re actually… you’re thinking like a girl, and girls love that.

Even if you’ve never seen the film, it’s likely you’re at least peripherally aware of the Beta Game principle Dom is explaining here. Can you spot the inconsistency?

“.. you’re thinking like a girl, and girls love that.” No, they don’t. Sorry Dom, they want a loaded gun.

Desexualization as Game is one of the primary mistakes betas make. This is the ‘Something About Mary’ effect; the presumption that your biological impulse to desire sex is a hinderance to getting sex. From a rational standpoint this is ridiculous, but betas eat this idea up because it dovetails nicely into their misguided sexual conditioning that assumes like attracts like – identify more with the feminine to be more attractive to the feminine. Watching this movie is like an effort in deconstructing all the Beta Game tenets of the past 40 years.

I apologize for not having the sources to site for this, but I can remember reading case studies on the bio-chemical effect of human sexual interaction doing grad work in college. I believe they were done by Dr. Martie Hasselton, but they outlined the endorphin and hormonal profiles present in healthy adults bloodstream’s while in various phases of attraction, arousal, pre-sex and post-sex interaction between couples. The most dramatic one to look up is the similarities in the chemical properties of dopamine and heroin for people experiencing “love” or “infatuation” depending on who’s doing the study.

Even more fascinating is the effects hormones play on portions of men’s brains when assessing sexual cues in a potential sex partner. Healthy testosterone levels literally causes men to perceive women as sexual objects; stimulating the same portions of our brains used for cognitive problem solving. However, testosterone is mitigated by oxytocin, the hormone secreted just post orgasm. While testosterone is responsible for sex drive and aggressive impulses (not to mention muscular development, deepening of voice and hair growth), oxytocin is linked to feelings of nurturing, trust, and comfort. Oxytocin is believed to be a primary influence in post-sex, and post pregnancy, emotional attachment in women who produce the hormone in much higher amounts than men. Postpartum depression is actually a withdrawal symptom triggered by the decrease in oxytocin (and progesterone) in post-birth women.The effect of post-orgasm oxytocin in men is similar to women, however in men it is also serves as a buffering agent to heightened dopamine and testosterone levels.

Oxytocin plays a critical part in regulating a man’s testosterone levels. Just post-orgasm, the human body flushes oxytocin into the bloodstream to balance out the endorphin and dopamine high of sexual arousal. While this hormone promotes feelings of trust and comfort in men, it also serves to ‘calm the guy down’ sexually. Oxytocin is a testosterone buffer in men, thus resulting in you going limp for a while after busting a nut. From an evolutionary perspective this makes sense in that it ensures the sperm deposited stays in a woman’s vagina, thus increasing fertility odds, instead of being shoveled out by a still erect penis. Not only that, but oxytocin serves as a ‘pair bonding’ hormone in that it fosters feelings of protective trust in men. Oxytocin discharge in humans is also triggered by pheromonal and environmental prompts.

In addition to all of this, there’s the role that pheromones play in regard to sexual attraction and arousal. You can google these, but there are several pheromonal studies that indicate that men with differing scents from those of women tend to attract opposite scents in women. From an evolutionary perspective the conclusion drawn is one that people of similar genus or genotype (i.e. blood related family members) will be less aroused sexually by persons of the their own genotype, thus ensuring biodiversity (nature’s prevention plan against inbreeding). However in the same “sweaty t-shirt” studies, the perspiration of men with higher testosterone levels were deemed more sexually viable or arousing by women than men with lower T levels.

You can attribute whatever legitimacy you want to studies like this, but the evidence points to higher testosterone levels as playing an influential part in sexual attraction. Also bear in mind that pheromones influence women living in close proximity to each other to synchronize their menstrual cycles – another evolutionary mechanism believed to ensure fertility and communal support for social animals.

The Pheromonal Beta

From a bio-mechanical perspective, the indication is that men who consistently masturbate are essentially broadcasting their status as Pheromonal Betas – and women’s bio-chemical mechanics subconsciously registers this for them. Higher testosterone males manifest their sexual viability in both sexual assertiveness and scent. If you are chronically depleted of testosterone, and/or subjected to the calming effects of oxytocin your sexual viability is at a disadvantage. In fact, from an evolutionary standpoint, the beta males of our feral hunter-gatherer beginnings would be more prone to masturbation as a sexual release since, theoretically, they would’ve had less access to breeding opportunities than Alpha males. It would then follow that definitive, subconscious behavioral and chemical cues would evolve to aid females in selecting the best mate for parental investment.

So, for as much as beta guys would like to have you believe that snapping your radish before a date will improve your chances of fucking the girl, odds are you’re shooting yourself in the foot. This stupid belief is rooted in the “Something about Mary” myth that women don’t want an overly sexualized man, but the biological truth is far from that. The myth is one that women need to be comfortable with a guy in order to sleep with him, so men will actively desexualize themselves in order to comply. However, all indications point to a need for sexual anxiety and tension in arousal to prompt sexual intercourse.

Comfort and trust are post-orgasm conditions; anxiety, arousal and sexual urgency are pre-orgasm conditions – and both have their own unique hormonal signatures.

Disclaimer

And now for the disclaimer; I’m not a endocrinologist, biochemist or physician. I’ll admit this is a work in conjecture, but it’s plausible conjecture. For the record, it’s not about ‘less’ desirable pheromones, it’s about a lower incidence of any sex-cue pheromones due to depletion. It stands to reason that women would be more attracted to men motivated to being sexual with them, manifesting this in chemistry and behavior, than sexually unmotivated men manifesting signs of disinterest.

I used to think that the primary issue with beating off was this feminine double standard – women masturbating is sexy, arousing and, nowadays, socially empowering. For men, masturbation is a perversion. It implies an inability to be ‘man enough’ to fuck a real woman; whacking off is failure for a man, but victory for a woman. Why would this social conditions exist, and what is it’s latent function?

I still see the double standard in all that, and while I think it’s valid, it kind of only brushes the surface of self-pleasure from a social convention perspective. Sigmund Freud once said, “all energy is sexual”, meaning that subliminally we will redirect our motivation for ungratified sexual impulse to other endeavors. Thus it’s men, being the sex with the highest amount of libido inducing testosterone, who must look for far more outlets to transfer this motivation to than women. So is it any real surprise that it’s historically been Men who’ve primarily been the empire builders, the conquerors, the creators, and destroyers who’ve (for better or worse) moved humanity the most significantly?

Masturbation defuses this impulse. It kills that drive, or at least sublimates it. So wouldn’t it stand to reason that a global social convention that shames men for masturbation would be beneficial to a society interested in expanding? So the cultural meme becomes men who jack off are losers, and Men who don’t thereby prove their sexual viability (because if they’re not beating off they MUST be fucking women semi-regularly) AND become motivated to redirect that impulse to the betterment of themselves and/or society.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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dc1000
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dc1000
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my gf and i have done ‘no masturbation’ experiments and it did lead to a certain amount of increased sexual energy between us, but really all it did was take us from super highly charged to super duper highly charged. when the jerking off damn finally broke, it has been with no appreciable negative consequences for our sex life (10-20 times per week). what i wonder is this: when i’m fucking a lot, i feel like my sexual energy is higher and more apparent to others. and i also think it begets more fucking with my current partner. it also… Read more »

Sam Spade
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Well-written post, Rollo. I always thought that Something About Mary myth was ridiculous. The only valid interpretation of the beat-off-before-a-date theory that is even close to agreeing with Game is that a man should not make outcome (read: sex) his sole focal point during seduction. On the surface, this idea seems to support lowering testosterone to avoid any “distractions” that might sabotage a smooth courtship. But eliminating the preoccupation with outcome/sex does not mean that a man should suppress or disregard his sexuality during a date. This is a key point that is confusing to newbies. Male sexuality can be… Read more »

caRIOca
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Inspirational post, Rollo! (again!)

Coincidentally, this month I did some experiments related to this issue. When I’m going out for a date or for hunting aleatory girls, I previously watch some porn, masturbating but not having an orgasm. It’s stressing! Than I have a shower and go out with a desperate-to-cum mood. Game, no-underpants, no perfume, and rapist eyes. It’s a sexual maniac caveman. Girls feel it.

Snipes
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I always thought that men who jack off often may come across as less “desperate” than men who are constantly horny because they never get any. The man who never gets any and rarely has the chance to ejaculate would be more likely to be perceived as the loser when compared to the guy who is always sexually satisfied. It is possibly that there is a pheromonal difference between the guy who is always sexually satisfied by pussy and the guy who is always sexually satisfied by his hand.

Quizlling Jones
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Just as a Question, Its all well and good being ‘Alpha’ but WHAT have you got to do in order to put yourself in that Alpha mindset you describe?

(r)Evoluzione
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Yes. Rollo, having trained as a physician and worked for board-certified endocrinologists and other sexuality-related specialties including reproductive medicine, I can tell you with certainty, what you are saying is true–there is a decline in testosterone after an ejaculation, whether the ejaculation is from sex or not. But when a real woman is involved, the drop is less, and there are other hormonal changes, versus Rosie Palms-stimulated ejaculations. Several studies show that sexual stimulation without ejaculation increases serum testosterone. Other studies show that as serum testosterone rises, so do is metabolites in sweat, which, in essence ARE pheromones. It seems… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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I agree with the idea that identifying with a woman or “thinking like a girl” are two of the fastest ways NOT to get laid, but I have to wonder whether there might be some truth to the idea that you would be more relaxed after releasing your load which might negate the drop in testosterone. I do have to say though that there is nothing like the post coital swag a man gets after dropping his load into a new conquest. Like Kyle grabbing his junk as he walks out of the frat house in the movie Road Trip… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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On a side note, anyone see the movie Bad Teacher?

What do you think about Cameron Diaz? At first glance she looks pretty damn hot, but seeing her as a 40 year old only serves to remind me how much older and therefore less attractive she looks despite being in the best shape of her life.

Dan Fletcher
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I only masturbate till orgasm when I feel like I am about to explode. At a max, about once a week. Testosterone increases for sure. Men defer to you, women give you more attention. A better quality of life overall. However, I may masturbate often but stop BEFORE ejaculation. Hard to do but is worth it in the long run. It gets me charged up. A poster above says he could orgasm without ejaculating, how is this possible? As for the Something About Mary myth, don’t forget the person giving him that advice had a hard-on for Mary too and… Read more »

primallykosher
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I was reading about this on Roosh and yourmindonporn. I wonder if Oxycontin is controlled to the parasympathetic nervous system which relaxes the body as opposed to the sympathetic which excites. The real trick is controlling yourself while really horny. I’d love to hear pointers on this.

(r)Evoluzione
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Primallykosher, you’re referring to oxytocin, a hormone, not oxycontin, the prescription drug.
As you alluded to, relaxation is important.

(r)Evoluzione
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Flahute
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Dan, basically you have to learn to feel the energy system of your body (chakras, etc) and control it using your breath. This is not new age, bullsh-t, it’s real. Instead of letting the energy build up in your genitals until released in an ejaculation, you circulate it through your body. You are probably doing 30% of the practice already by stopping yourself. Practice anticipating that first contraction and stop, slow down, or relax and breath deeper, whichever works to prevent the contractions. You will still feel that pre-orgasmic feeling. Then continue, and try to build-up that orgasmic feeling each… Read more »

primallykosher
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Oops that’s quite a difference. And there is a synthetic form of the hormone too that has to be injected. Maybe if you shot up a girl who had trouble with orgasms it might help.But regardless being relaxed and horny if possible would be one hell of a state.

caRIOca
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caRIOca
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Man, this strategy is strong like steroids.
I practice something like this, as you can see in my post above.

Is there any source of information about it on the web?

Y
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Y
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I’ve also read those studies Rollo and from my own experimentation I’ve found there is definitely a difference between orgasming through masturbation and sex in terms of the effect it has on me out in the real world. My rule is I can have sex as much as I want but no more than one self-stimulated orgasm per week. My style is heavily based on eye-contact, minimal conversation, getting close and escalating fast and it’s crucial that I get turned on quickly when doing so (within seconds). It probably communicates in everything I do; dilated pupils, better voice tonality etc.… Read more »

Y
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Y
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Oh, and to the guys that wonder if it’s better to be relaxed.

I’ve found that if I abstain I will get full of energy for a couple of days and it’s hard to even sit still. But once you get to a week or so you start to calm down and you’re all chilled out again… but with this underlying sexual energy.

For me, and from many anecdotes as well as studies it seems that once a week is the sweet spot. Time it right so that your at peak testosterone for Friday and Saturday. smile

Y
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Y
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The only problem I have with this orgasm without coming stuff is that most of the guys who practice it seems really feminine.

Like they don’t have any balls anymore.

lolbutttz
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lolbutttz
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what’s the difference in testosterone depletion and oxytocin production between jerking off and fucking? If you fucked a lot wouldn’t it lead to the same results (except for smelling like women instead of your dick)?

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[…] It’s in your pheromones, and they don’t like it. Published: November 18, 2011 Leave a Comment Name: Required […]

Nestorius
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Rather than pheromone, it’s mostly prolactin that creates this state in the male. After orgasm (be it through masturbation or through sex with a woman) prolactin is secreted, and the more a male orgasms, the more the body secretes prolactin.

Wudang
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My experience is that not masturbating leads to massive improvements in ability to attract women. They sense it just by looking at me and start flirting with me with tehir eyes after some days of not ejaculating. also feel much higher energy and get mentally sharper and get better memory the longer I go without. At reuniting.info there are hundreds of men who because of porn addiction have gone for weeks and months without ejaculating att all and have very detailed knowledge of how the effects change over time. The site also has great info on oxytocin and dompaine and… Read more »

(r)Evoluzione
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Interesting. Can you site a source on this prolactin function? It’s easy enough to pharmacologically block prolactin production with plant compounds.

Nestorius
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Check wikipedia, they have a list of sources.

Rogue
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Rogue
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Great post, as usual. Could I suggest, if you have the time and energy, to go the extra mile and add the sources?
For one thing, it would help some of us who’re interested in reading more and not afraid to click on a pdf link. Also it would serve as a simple fact-checker (AFAIK the menstrual cycle synchronizing thing is not very supported by evidence)

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[…] find you more attractive. Beyond your decreased assertiveness and energy from masturbating, girls can sniff out habitual weiner-whackers from the pheromones they give off, and they don’t like them. Not one bit. Rubbing one out before a date is basically castrating […]

Dennis
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The Inmalafide link no longer works — any stored archive of the post or good links to other sites regarding this? I would REALLY love to read more. Would appreciate it tons!

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[…] The Pheromonal Beta […]

Sal Ceech
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Sal Ceech
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Thanx to Rollo and the contributing MD.I will now leave the “monkey” alone ,and go from daily to weekly !

3rd Millenium Men
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Brilliant.

CL
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CL
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Ironic that the beta game guy’s name is Dom…

rtyu
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rtyu
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There are no proven scientific study that would say – porn is bad. Stop believing crap guys be smart its 21st Century

Rollo Tomassi
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More corroboration http://tinyurl.com/mmumwgk of the Pheromonal Beta theory http://tinyurl.com/mzfl9zt

Nathan
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Rollo, I am taking an ecology course and yesterday our professor referenced this study: Stern, K., & McClintock, M. K. (1998). Regulation of ovulation by human pheromones. Nature, 392(6672), 177. Abstract Pheromones are airborne chemical signals that are released by an individual into the environment and which affect the physiology or behaviour of other members of the same species. The idea that humans produce pheromones has excited the imagination of scientists and the public, leading to widespread claims for their existence, which, however, has remained unproven. Here we investigate whether humans produce compounds that regulate a specific neuroendocrine mechanism in… Read more »

Nathan
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Nathan
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I know you are not a big fan of Jung, but those pheromones did lead to some “synchronization’ !

oxymoron1983
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Hi Rollo
does masturbation without ejaculation make a man Pheromonal Beta?
what is biological difference between ejaculation with sex and ejaculation with masturbation?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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You mean prolactin, not oxytocin.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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The overall logic of this article is spot-on, however it would have done a little bit more justice to have reinforced it with the all-too-prevalent example of when men are hooking up with / in bed with a girl, but purposely don’t push for sex because they don’t want the girl to think they’re a “player,” when in actuality not pushing for sex has the opposite effect and the girl loses interest because of it. In other words, the girl saying no always needs to be the limiting factor, never the man not trying; in other words, a man should… Read more »

overratedenthusiasm
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All this time later, and this post is still one of the greatest posts ever written in the history of WordPress.

spartacus
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You can google these, but there are several pheromonal studies that indicate that men with differing scents from those of women tend to attract opposite scents in women.

Specifically Google “major histocompatibility complex”.

John "Ratty" Arbuckle
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Girls don’t masturbate as much as guys but paradoxically they also don’t have the willpower to go nofap. Not talking about the kind of girls who never masturbate anyway – they have defective sex drives. I am talking about the kind of girl who masturbates anywhere from once a week to once a day. Find one of those, and try to get them to do nofap. Most can’t – the female brain lacks that kind of willpower.

Bob
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Bob
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There are some real nerds commenting here. Women aren’t complicated. You just need balls, that’s it. This is why the guys getting laid are the lesser intelligent bad boys. They learned at a young age that taking risks with women is a good thing. And BAM it sinks in, and once you experience that realization you’ll never go back to your self-pleasuring nerd days again. You begin to crave the experience of real pussy and realize what life is really about. So stop intellectually this shit and get out there and get laid.

theasdgamer
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A woman I know lifted her shirt at a bar I was at last night and I got a full view of a black brassiere. I told another woman about it and her response was “Classy.” I sense that this should provide material for a post if it hasn’t been addressed already. A woman disses another as part of competition for a high value man. Women acted so retarded last night at the bar. Two rubbed themselves all over me as we danced. One tried to set me up with her friend because she had a boner for me and… Read more »

redlight
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redlight
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@asd

if you just fucked them they wouldn’t need to try extreme IOIs

YaReally
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YaReally
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“You can attribute whatever legitimacy you want to studies like this” Fucking lol at pheromones. 25:20-26:30 in the classic Tyler audio below is my opinion: http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3 The way to counter “not having the correct pheromones” is to just INTERACT WITH THE GIRL lol Make her feel emotions, she doesn’t give a shit about your pheromones. You can plug her nose and she’s still going to want to fuck you if you’re making an emotional impact on her. She’s not smelling pheromones radiating from the pages of her 50 Shades of Grey novel. But remember guys, porn is evil, it’ll brainwash… Read more »

William Denison
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William Denison
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One of the main reasons men masturbate before going on a date is because we are shedding older, less viable sperm in favor of younger, more energetic fertilizers and attackers, ready to counter any sperm that might already be in our partner’s system. This is different in a long-term, highly proximal relationship, in which a man is fairly certain that he is the only male inseminating his partner (the male body makes this judgement automatically based on how much time you spend with your female partner). Long-term relationship sex requires less masturbatory preparation, as the slower, older sperm are used… Read more »

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[…] Rollo Tomassi The Pheromonal Beta […]

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[…] The woman in your bed would if you were to show her that primal masculine sexual energy which exists inside your soul. You shouldn’t be “rubbing one out” before a date so you’ll “last longer” if you happen to have sex or that you won’t be as distracted by being horny. Rollo has a piece (of course he does) which illustrates this exact point with greater analysis (The Pheromonal Beta). […]

lol
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lol
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God who gives a shit.

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[…] of other fun stuff. Again why would you do this to yourself? It makes you more socially awkward, a pheromonal beta, trains you to be a cuckold, weakens your masculine spirit, keeps you from real life and real […]

Jobee-Wan Coyote
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Great Article. I’ve been looking for a reliable NoFab article for a while, and now I have found it. Bravo Tomassi!!

I spend a week in an African country this year, there I went without sex or the fap (due to cultural beliefs out there, not aids). I 100% noticed an improvement in sex drive and an increase in women’s attention towards me. Now to overcome my porn addiction!!

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