Learn to Read

The most important element of Game a guy can master is developing an ability to do cold reads. Have you ever been to a carnival and had some guy guess your age or weight within a certain range? Those guys are masters of the read. PUA skills are all useful tools and can be applied in a variety of settings, but being able to “read” your target will improve any other PUA techniques you apply. Once you’ve ‘read’ your mark you’ll have a better idea of what will or wont be useful in a given set, and this then will instruct you on which Game tools will work best for that job.

Most aspiring PUAs read up on technique, learn a few scripts, and indiscriminately fumble into an approach without concern that they’re simply barking up the wrong tree. Other times they use some pre-packaged C&F that may have worked for the seminar’s teaching PUA in a completely different environment with a completely different set of conditions with regard to the girl. What may work on an HB 9 at a high end martini bar wont play with an HB 8 Goth girl at a Slipknot concert. One of the first fallbacks critics of Game like to use is that Game appears to presume one-size-fits-all and all women will respond equally well to some standardized script. This is a very weak criticism since obviously the ‘art’ of pick up relies on how deftly a Man uses, and understands how best to apply it. The foundational principles of Game work on ALL women, however it’s the correct application of Game that separates those who’re successful at it from the frustrated chumps who try out a few techniques and get humiliated.

Obviously different approaches are warranted for different situations, but reading subtleties and looking for cues with a good read when you see a woman you’d like to approach, one who’s giving you IOIs already, or even a girl you’re already familiar with is important. A lot of mPUAs like to promote a 3 second rule in an effort to get AFCs past the “stage fright” period of cold sell approaches. This has it’s merits for guys unaccustomed to engaging with a woman, but once you’re comfortable enough in meeting new people on the fly you have to develop an ability to read your target and this takes a bit of calculation initially.

Assess the Environment

For example, lets assume you’re going to a bar or club to sarge. Before you even set foot in the establishment make some mental notes – What kind of woman goes to a place like this? What day of the week is it? Are you on vacation at a resort? What kind of place is this (a goth bar, a martini bar or Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville all require shifts in approach)? What’s the typical age range for the place? Is it ladies night? What part of town are you in? Understanding your venue is vital. What works on a college campus at noon, isn’t going to fly at midnight at a rave.

Assess your Target

Once you’ve established a good understanding of environment lets go further and assume you find an attractive target. First, and most important, has this girl given you IOIs? Eye contact, hair twirling, leg shifting? You need to train yourself to look for the nuances in body language. If so you’ll have to adjust game for that, if not, you’ll have to adjust to catch her attention. Next, read her appearance – what is she wearing? Is she in business casual (just got off of work), or made up in a short red dress (obviously looking)? Jeans and a tight shirt? Is she wearing a wedding ring? Estimate her age and education level (using “chick crack” works wonders for the less educated). Women are by nature attention seeking; virtually everything about a woman is written into her appearance, particularly so while deliberately presenting herself in a covertly competitive social situation (i.e. a club where people go to meet other people).

Assess the Social Conditions

After an initial read, then look around your target and read the social setting and immediate environment. Is she part of a group of girls (most likely)? What do they look like? Are they feeding her, or feeding off of her attention? Is it a bachelorette party? Are there male orbiters circling them or in their party? Any AMOG potentials? Do any of them look related (obvious twins or a family resemblance)?

All of this will help you apply your game more directly. C&F, neg hits, shut-outs, takeaways, openers, all of that can be more refined and more purposed if you take the time to observe your target and then make some calculated assumptions. If you find that you struggle with sustaining a conversation with a woman, usually this is due to a poor read of her prior to an approach. A lot of guys will argue that it takes too much effort to be that analytical, but after a while you’ll become sensitive to this reading ability and it will become second nature.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

25 comments on “Learn to Read

  1. This blog has two kinds of posts: the ones that open my mind and shows me the light; and the ones that add nothing.

    This one added nothing.

  2. Frequently I read here fantastic posts, like the one from yesterday. Knowledge to keep for life. I was starting to write a list of your best posts and guess what? I gave up, because it was too long! So don’t bother about producing volume of texts. Focus on your talent to show us the Human Being behind the masks. Keep the blog lean.

    Just a suggestion from a fan.

    1. While most readers of this blog understand the importance of cold reads, it’s some times useful to bring the topic back to surface as a reminder. You might not have learned anything new from this post, but don’t you agree that it awakened on you your sensitivity to cold reading?

  3. I like the topic of the post but I wish you went into it in more detail. Like added signs to look for when looking for a ONS for example

  4. I just stumbled upon the whole RM/Roissy/Roosh/Game blog universe and this has been the best thing I’ve read yet as one who is removing the mask. Many mistakes in previous relationships are starting to be explained to me- I need to know how to proceed next and this is an excellent primer.

  5. Reading is also useful in other parts of life too – business, social circles, etc. My company sent us to a seminar that taught DISC style communication to understand each person’s communication style – direct and to the point, or people who wander all over while trying to convey information. It’s all part of improving ourselves.

  6. Love this blog, but some writing suggestions:

    1. Can we quit the undefined acronyms? PUA, AFC, etc.? Not everyone here is a descendent from the Sosuave.com board. Reach out to the average reader. (Yes, I used to read that board, but have forgotten many of the acronyms.)

    2. Don’t reference people off that board. The name “Pook” came out of nowhere. I vaguely remember this egotistical poster from the other board. Write your own stuff and if you do reference someone, who are they?

    3. Write for the average man. I’m guessing this blog is designed to reach out and help the average guy. He understands it better if it’s not in code — what the hell is “the matrix” anyway? This blog has the potential to be a book some day and I’ve always liked Rollo’s writing, but please eliminate the jargon, obscure referencers and acronyms, and references to people no one knows.

  7. Perhaps a tough crowd, but I really like Rollo’s stuff. I had 2 friends read some of this stuff and they kept asking me what all these things meant If you want to preach to the choir and write in code, that’s fine … and maybe that’s the purpose of this blog, to reach out to the guys on the other site. If you want to reach a wider audience you follow the basic writing rule: don’t use jargon. But I could be way off. This site might be written just for those who know the code.

  8. Rollo doesn’t need to dumb it down. If you can’t figure out the jargon, read up on it and come back here.

    As for cold reads…yes, when you start to understand how to read a situation you can then determine your approach.

    Example, in my social circle there are many girls. I am seeing someone, so some pick up on that right away.

    But to read them if they’re still giving me IOI’s and ignore that I’m with someone, I read that right away as they’re open to more.

    in one case, the girl loves attention and is over a period of months of gaming, slowly escalating things.

    But when you read the situation, what she really wants is a change to get a bit drunk so that she can have plausible deniability when she or I make a bolder move which in our social circle requires very careful maneuvering.

    Any false move or premature move could position me as a despearate creep chasing after woemn.

    But letting this go on has been like cat nip to this girl who loves all sorts of mimicking my moves, making eyes, chatting on FB, spanking me if I say something outrageous…

    Yes…get to know cold reads and you’ll know when you are on the right path and when you’ve not.

    1. +1 re: dumbing down. As in any discipline, it’s incumbent upon the neophyte to familiarize himself with the extant research and literature.

  9. Well, if you told someone, “I’m an AFC, but I got out of the Matrix, so now I’m a PUA and I’m going to find an HB9” — they’d think you’re freaking nuts. Other authors don’t demand you do research to know the code, or who some dork like Pook is. This blog has awesome potential. Philosophically I agree with much of it. Stylistically/linguistically, he’s way off, IMO. Not all of us have time to do research on how to read blogs. Keep it simple, one of the basic tenants of writing.

  10. If everytime he said “person who does badly with women and is constantly frustrated as a result” instead of AFC I assure you the reading would be harder.

  11. I liked this post, just as I liked the stripper post, because it was more hands-on. As for acronyms, this blog is within the gaming community for which the acronyms are ubiquitous—while there can be a point about writing to a more general audience, a guy with zero game should also be reading Roissy/Heartiste who is more hands-on, so becoming familiarized with the acronyms is unavoidable.

  12. I actually love this blog and had hopes Rollo would take his writing national, but I think this blog — like an exclusive academic journal written only for specialists — is written for guys on the sosuave board or gaming boards. So be it. It’s written in a way for the public not to understand, and that’s OK. I think the intent is to write for people who are already in the know and not for the general public That’s fine. My hopes still are that he takes this stuff to a broader audience instead of preaching to the choir. A lot of people need this info, not just the people who are already working on it and reading about it. But I think his audience is exclusive and that’s OK, you get much more approval that way. Also, a person — including me — has no f-n idea who Roissy whatever is. Dude, we don’t have time to surf the web and do intensive research, we have jobs. Make it simple. Why does James Patterson sell five zillion books? Because he doesn’t expect you to do heavy research in previous books to read his latest thriller. The average person can buy it. Less is more. Keep it simple.

  13. Guys, you need to do a little work. How on earth do you expect to improve your skills with women or in any other area if you demand to be hand-fed everything?
    I’ve never read any pua books and rarely look at pua blogs; when I come across an acronym or term I’m unfamiliar with, I look it up–takes about 10 seconds max.
    Writing for a wider audience means writing for the lowest common denominator. Rollo fields enough silly questions and comments as it is.

    1. my sentiments exactly. anything worth having is worth putting effort into. if you arent willing to work for it then you dont deserve. learn to read as the title says.

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