Teaching Slaves to Read

Ehintellect had a very enlightening comment in last week’s thread. I’ve edited it for relevant content, but you can read the whole thing here. This touched on an essay topic I’ve been considering since my conversation with Ed Latimore and Mark Baxter:

[I] was at a home party a few years back. Highly successful surgeons, wives, husbands; quickly devolved into quarters, college games. 

My wife loves the parties as she gets compliments and conversation she’d otherwise not get. She’s not plugged into that crowd, and I assume doesn’t want to. In a way, that’s fortunate. There is tremendous value in my marriage, parenting. I’m astonished at the change.

Mrs. Eh’s shit tests continue, but are a whole different breed. Comfort, mostly, and usually because I don’t calibrate enough. Easily dealt with, I’m astonished at the dynamic. I was bar rail with wife, and my erstwhile suicidal, now RP, TRM acquaintance called asking me to celebrate his 2 (!) plate spinning / back at school / ”I know your trick, EhIntellect!” / ”Now I understand the true nature of women.” / “My life has never been better.” life. I was celebrating on the phone with him. Well, yeah, after the 5-10 minute chat, Mrs. Eh. wasn’t too pleased. She started to test about me treating her as a “whore” and my daughter shabbily.

Still upbeat, I kissed her forehead and whispered, “You’re no whore. You’re MY whore.” Well, that didn’t work as intended, she sulked, I got up and said let’s go. Nope she sat and I, dropping her jacket on my chair, wordlessly left out the back. The bar waitress walked her out by the arm 3 minutes later.

I’d have never been able to do that without you guys.

I had a karaoke night planned, for me, so kept on. In a way I “bounced” her to another venue, ran with her happily sprinting with me to the new pub. It’s like the dust up never happened, she was crazy sexual for the rest of the night. That’s what we’re to do right? Spike that test! I wanted to sing, and raised the roof that night. Did I reinforce bad behavior? IMO, no. The test is to be passed, my burden of performance, she holds me tighter, begs me for affection as never before. Sex is plentiful. More frame for me, no snark, much laughter.

Reader SJF comments next:

Your wife’s response to overhearing your conversation is normal operating procedure for women. I’ve been through this scenario and could shed some more light on it.

Sure it is a shit test. Sure it is a comfort test. Doesn’t matter. It’s not about passing a shit test. It’s about using it to your advantage. “You’re no whore. You’re MY whore” was an Agree and Amplify response to the test. Not the best way to accomplish your goals. Your goals here were to mentor your buddy. Not to game your wife–you already have that in hand 

What this situation calls for is to conduct your discussions with men in fight club in private.

What’s going on with your wife in this situation is and INDIGNATION of the SISTERHOOD scenario. (How fucking dare you help another man to implement his strategy to compromise the strategy of the Sisterhood? The Sisterhood’s Social Conventions and their Feminine Imperatives to implement their strategy are more important in a Feminine Supreme Society than you buddy gaining agency).

Your wife on behalf of her and your daughter is affronted by you giving him tactics. (She figures on your part this is you giving her and your daughter and indignity because you are giving this: insult, offend, mortify, provoke, pique, wound, hurt to the Sisterhood Strategy and Imperatives.) You are poking the mother of your children in the ribs with riposte. She protests. She figures it’s not fucking fair.

So this talking red pill to red pill with guys is best kept off the grid and out of sight and earshot.
Now keep in mind this is not abdicating frame any more than a Machiavellian strategist is embarrassed by his tactics being kept secret.

Tyler Durden in fight club would not agree about using overt, rather than covert discussions about blowing up the edifices (buildings, social conventions and imperatives) in society to achieve ends.

And finally Novaseeker adds this most salient comment:

“You should know this stuff, but you shouldn’t know this stuff, if it were up to the Sisterhood. You guys are taking away OUR POWER and I’m going to shit test you about that with some INDIGNATION.”

Yes, it’s because it violates the “Just Get It” principle. It’s fine if a man “just gets it”. It’s not fine if a man has to learn it in order to get it, because in the latter case there is a concern that he doesn’t actually really “get it”, because he isn’t a man who “just gets it”.

More fundamentally, they do not trust themselves to be able to tell the difference between a man who “just gets it” and man who has learned from other men how to “get it”, and they fundamentally do want to distinguish between the two types of men because that is a critical Alpha filter. What you’re doing is sabotaging their filter, which of course will be unwelcome, never mind that they will generally be just as satisfied with a man who learns to get it as they would with a man who just gets it, in practice (as long as the former guy maintains frame and so on properly). So, yes, don’t talk about fight club outside fight club and all that.

Women want a man who ‘just gets it’ but they despise a man who has to be told how to ‘get it’.

This is the first law of the Sisterhood, a man who must be told how to be a man, how to be dominant in his dealings with women, or fluidly, naturally be the Alpha who is in control of his environment(s) isn’t the man for her. If masculinity or the value of social dominance had to be explained to him, he had to make a conscious effort to act contrary to what his ‘true’ nature would otherwise be for women.

Hypergamy always seeks the better-than-deserved situation with men. In the past I’ve discussed how the nature of Hypergamy is such that it cannot wait for a man to realize his potential. Hypergamy looks for the ‘sure thing’. This is why women prefer the romantic attentions (at least as far as long term prospects go) of men who are 5 – 7 years or older than themselves. On a limbic level, women are aware that men’s accrual of sexual market value takes much longer than for women. Men who would be intimately acceptable are the men who are already made-men. There is no (or certainly less) uncertainty for her Hypergamous doubt to resolve for her when that man possesses SMP equity that time has made of him. This is also the root reason women are attracted to men who naturally, effortlessly, display higher value and Amused Mastery, as well as men for whom social proof is socially and organically confirmed for her.

Women’s sexual agency –their only true commodity value to men – is perishable. This then is the nature of women’s very intimate relationship with the Wall; they know on a hindbrain, limbic level and from a very early age that their sexual agency rises quickly and burns out fast. Their peak competitive years in the sexual marketplace (SMP) spans only 10-12 years at best before their younger sisters replace them in the SMP. They know that there will come a point that their capacity to compete in the SMP will diminish.

Every cosmetic ever created, every plastic surgery or implant devised (by men) every fashion trend or clothing style for women has been created with the express purpose of both making a woman appear younger than her actual age and/or to convince her that her sexual agency has an indefinite shelf life. Every social convention for women the Feminine Imperative has ever devised is rooted in the latent purpose of convincing women that their sexual market value ought to be based on some esoteric or intrinsic quality (rather than the biological and evolutionary reality) once they’ve moved past the age of being able to effectively compete intrasexually with their sisters.

They are conditioned to believe the fault in ‘unrealistic beauty standards’ is due to the horrific sexual objectification of men’s base (biological) natures and/or the social constructivist narrative that would have them believe it’s a nebulous ‘society’s’ fault that they are unable to consolidate their Hypergamy once the expiration date for their sexual market value has passed and their younger sisters outcompete them.

Id vs. Ego

On a subconscious level this is the internal conflict women fight within themselves. The desires of their Ids war with the dictates of what Hypergamy demands of them, knowing all the while that their capacity to consolidate on it is limited to a very short window in their lifetimes. Women’s Egos are then fed on the narrative of the Feminine Imperative that the worries of their Ids, and the crushing doubts that Hypergamy biologically wires into women, are unfounded and they have an almost indefinite timeframe in which to consolidate on the ‘perfect guy’ ; The guy who will satisfy both the Alpha Fucks sexual excitement of Hypergamy with the stable, comforting, dependable security the Beta Bucks side of Hypergamy needs for her long term security. A woman’s Id knows this is a lie, but her Ego is convinced she can wait out her Party Years at least to sample as many ‘bad boys, wrong boys, commitment-phobic boys’ as the Sheryl Sandberg plan for Hypergamy has convinced her Ego she has the time to work her way through.

A woman’s Id is having none of it, beyond enjoying the sexual pleasures of the Alpha men she prefers in her peak sexual market value (SMV) years. Hypergamy demands the complete package, the already-made man. The guy for whom she’s so certain will be the best of both worlds (despite the unbeliveability of it) that it quells her Hypergamous doubt. On a rudimentary level a woman’s Id knows she deserves a better-than-warranted situation with regard to her Hypergamy; it’s the only situation that will ever be truly satisfying to her. Only a man who rates 1-2 degrees above what she feels her own SMV merits (however unrealistic that’s become to her) will be the man she can truly submit herself to.

This is what her Id knows. On some level of consciousness it knows she is choosing a life in which she can either submit herself and entrust her life, body and soul to the long term security of a deserving man (one who rates a full to two steps above her own self-impression), or she will resign herself to her own ‘independence’ and self-reliance with respect to long term security in a life with a man who doesn’t “deserve her” and who she will never submit herself to.

There are many variables that interfere with a woman making this consolidation in her younger years, but the fact remains, the longer a woman delays consolidating on the guy she could comfortably submit herself to the less likely she is to actually do so; and the more likely she is to resign herself to insisting on her own Frame to supply the security she would otherwise get from a man she could’ve submitted herself to.

This is why we see a majority of older women – women who’ve cycled out of the SMP – falling back on the tropes of the Strong Independent Woman® narrative. The truth is they are unlikely to ever lockdown the perfect guy with whom they could comfortably submit to. This is also compounded by her Hypergamous doubt and long term security having to be self-provisioned for a longer and longer period of time. A never-married 40 year old woman will likely have been so necessitous in her own provisioning that she will never allow herself to submit to any man’s Frames for the remainder of her life.

All of this interpersonal back and forth revolves around women’s capacity to attract a suitable man while simultaneously filtering for men’s requisite qualities to satisfy the dual nature of Hypergamy. From an evolutionary perspective, women’s breeding potential cannot afford to be tricked or deceived into her consolidating on a less than optimal man. That’s the paradox of Hypergamy and the prime reason women seek pre-made man (or a man with such overwhelming potential it satisfies Hypergamy). So important is this filtering mechanism that it evolved to be a part of women’s neurological firmware – it’s baked in.

In a larger respect, this filtering is part of the prime directive amongst the collective social influence of the Sisterhood. Women want, and expect, a default, and completely honest, evaluation of a man’s intimate potential in satisfying Hypergamy from her peers as well as the larger social collective of women. Anything that confounds or deliberately confuses the veracity of this Hypergamous assessment about a guy is equitable with deliberately attempting to sabotage a woman’s life. Accurate evaluation of a man’s Hypergamous potential is the highest order for the Sisterhood.

Teaching Slaves to Read

In my interview with Ed Latimore we discussed exactly this dynamic and what Ed said was profound. I paraphrase him here, but the sentiment was, “Men learning Game, men teaching men about the intrinsic psychological and biological natures of women, men making other men Red Pill aware, is like teaching slaves to read in the time of slavery.”

Men becoming aware of the nature of women is a Threat; and that threat is primarily dangerous because it deliberately confounds women’s accurate assessment of a man’s true value in satisfying her Hypergamous doubt. Educating men about Game, about Red Pill awareness, must be prevented on both a personal level and a sociological level if women are to maintain a feminine-primary, feminine-correct and feminine-dominant social order. Thus, we encounter the social situations that Ehintellect and SJF describe in the above comments.

This reminds me of a story I read on the Red Pill Reddit forum about a guy who’s girlfriend discovered my book he’d been reading. She began picking through various sections and, expectedly, got really pissed off at the chapters on SMV (the chart in particular). They both discussed the parts she’d read and she admitted she wanted to read the whole thing, but from what they talked about she confessed that there wasn’t really anything she disagreed with. Her words were, “You men shouldn’t know this stuff!

It wasn’t that she was irritated by the truth in those sections of the book, but rather, her concern was that men might become aware of women’s sexual strategies as laid bare by the SMV sections and chart. Essentially, men teaching men to become Red Pill aware, to unplug them from the Matrix is anathema to women’s long term sexual strategy. Teaching men to Just Get It is a deliberate effort to bypass women’s subconscious and overt filtering processes to evaluate a man’s Hypergamous value.

Furthermore, Red Pill aware men represent an existential threat to women unilaterally making Hypergamous decisions for their lives – a unilateral power women have taken for granted since the unfettering of Hypergamy in the Sexual Revolution – and thus represent a threat to their making a less than optimal choice. Men becoming Red Pill aware, in effect, prioritizes men’s control over the Hypergamous process. That may be only by order of degree, and subjective to men’s real grasp of the Red Pill and their capacity to implement it, but the fear remains. Even a nominal control or increase in control of men over the Hypergamous process must be criminalized, marginalized or shamed to eliminate the threat that a man might convincingly misrepresent himself for a woman’s Hypergamous approval.

This is interesting in light of women’s hubris of embracing Open Hypergamy on a societal, cultural level. It’s not that men would be aware of women’s Hypergamous sexual strategies – this they triumphantly flaunt in very public ways – it’s that men would collude together to deliberately exploit that knowledge to wrest some marginal control over women’s sexual selection process.

Novaseeker’s assessment is correct, this convincing deception centers on men teaching men to passably appear to, if not actually, Just Get It. There’s a maxim in the manosphere that states women are not interested in how a man becomes a man. They are uninterested in the process of a man becoming anything, just that he is. If there is one thing Hypergamy demands to satisfy its inherent doubts is that men be genuine. How they became ‘genuine’ is irrelevant to women, just that they are genuine is enough. This is the conflict between women’s Ids and Egos – that a man might appear to be genuine in his quality is enough, yet not enough. 

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

330 comments on “Teaching Slaves to Read

  1. @Blaximus
    March 29, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    The problem with having the proper outcome of being socialized is that learning social behavior depends on agendas and emotions.

    People decide how they want to socialize. Then they pursue their agenda.

    “We all know what’s going on here” becomes a game tactic expression when social conflicts arise. It also is a good thing to say to your woman when she is playing Frame games. (Something that Blaximus can’t conceive of….Lol)

  2. Okay, this is for all of the ” yet to be Dads ” out there reading along.

    I have grown sons. IMO Blaximus gives bedrock solid life advice for fathers up thread here. A lot of TRM readers have no interest, but some do; and some will find themselves in this position almost as if by surprise. This is worth doing right and will pay off downstream.

  3. @SJF

    It doesn’t take much genetic bonus to learn learning skills, social skills, and Alpha Skills. But it does take hard work.

    This stuff is all complicated. Testosterone has an impact, as do friends and social acceptance, family situation, sports/music ability, etc.

    My social skills were miserable at 14…at least I felt that way…people laughed at me because of stuff I said…none of which girls saw when they were bused in to dance at my all boys boarding school…and I went on walks with girls I met the same night, so my lack of social skills didn’t hurt me much at the boarding school with girls. I definitely had some natural and learned pickup skills with girls. When I transferred to public school my senior year, I only went on one date. Lack of social skills definitely hurt there. I had some popular friends and they helped a great deal with me learning social skills and gaining confidence, but I only had one date senior year.

    I also had some geeky friends and I got set up with a girl thru them right after I graduated, but she wanted to get married and I didn’t, so it was over fast.

    I got to college and first day I was in a senior girl’s dorm room making out and she was fairly hot. HB7. Just met her that day. Pickup skills were still working. Finally got laid that year by a junior in my social circle. My social skills had improved a lot.

    I don’t remember much about college after that except hanging out with nerdy friends–men and women. A couple of the women were fat and orbited me.

    Had a girlfriend as a senior and learned a lot of relationship skills from that–especially calibration. She dumped me (looking for BB and I wasn’t that) and I got married in the meantime and saw her two years later and she was lit up when she was around me (AF opportunism).

    I didn’t realize until the last few years that you could learn social skills by applying yourself. I figured it was binary–either born with it or not. For most of my life my autism handicapped me and I was unaware of it but somehow managed to compensate somewhat.

  4. @ Lost Patrol

    Thanks. When my wife lost her father, I was taken aback at how ambivalent she and her siblings were at his passing.

    He raised 2 sons and 2 daughters to be hardworking, decent people that were ” upstanding citizens ” and all that. He lost one son at age 11 though.

    But he was overly hard nosed and strict, and just a little too free with the belt and verbal assault. There was palpable relief almost at his passing. I’d never formally met him, as everyone warned me that he’d never accept me as a son in law, nor as a man. He died 9 months after I married his daughter. My wife had to be restrained at his viewing/wake, as she shouted to his lifeless body that he got away with never explaining to her why he treated her the way he did.

    So you can imagine the eagle eye my wife watched my interactions with my young daughter.

    Discipline is a necessary thing that has to be given great thought and contemplation. My wife and her family feared the man more than they loved him. The ends did not seem to justify the means.

    It’s a serious business, the raising kids thing. They are depending on you not to fuck them up forever.

    Yet, it’s not particularly hard. You will have to learn marathon patience. Just like anything that one wants to succeed at, one has to always see the long game and the big picture.

  5. @Blaximus @CSI

    People don’t intuit social interactions. Everyone under the sun ” learns ” how to interact socially by interacting socially.

    I wonder if CSI means “unconscious competence” instead of “intuit”. Effortlessly navigating social interactions.

    Reason can certainly help us learn social skills, especially when you analyze a mistake you made in order to understand why it’s a mistake and how to avoid making it again. For me as an autist, reason helped me figure out that drinking the right level of booze improves my social skills a lot.

    I think that there are some who learn how to interact with more facility than others because of some combo of looks, athletic ability, and/or high social intelligence. These are trained to give off “winner”/dominant nonverbal signals.

    Conversely, others take longer because of looks, being clumsy, low social intelligence, and/or social handicaps. These are trained to give off “loser”/submissive nonverbal signals, which they have to change in order to improve.

    For someone to change from giving off submissive signals to dominant signals with unconscious competence requires going thru the four stages:

    1) unconscious incompetence, where you don’t know what you’re doing and aren’t trying to improve,

    2) conscious incompetence, where you are trying to improve your skillset, but it takes effort and you aren’t having much success,

    3) conscious competence, where you have developed your skillset, but it takes effort to achieve success, and

    4) unconscious competence, where you have developed your skillset and it takes no effort to achieve success.

  6. “BTW, my mom had four sons and no daughters. As an INTJ, it was the best thing ever. She was great. And I didn’t miss for not having sisters. I would have been judgmental as hell about women if I did have sisters. I eked by with my judgmentalism about non-sexual relationship women and I rarely judged my intimate women because of not having sisters. Women are great.”

    Thanks SJF, I’d like to think it is the same for our boys.

    “Long story short, I suspect you have the luxury of that buffer of not socializing because of your family. Good for you. No judgement here and no judgement needed if you are happy and satisfied.”

    I did have the luxury of that buffer for a few nice years. That’s not our life now. Hopefully it will be our life again in another year and a half or so.
    I don’t have any option not to socialize. I don’t invite 50 to 200 people into my home to entertain on a regular basis electively. I don’t even pick the guest list, that is the job of a protocol staff.

  7. Via your readings here Anon, you can actually cultivate feminine machiavellian traits for the benefit of your husband and your sons. Your sons and your husband benefit by you being all in on the mothering your sons and the Dr. Laura understanding that your husband is masculine simple and responds to your supportive feminine traits.

    In my previous exhortations about the Joseph W. South’s Female stages of manipulation, there is a glaring thing about female manipulation: It can be very positive.

    We believe that manipulation is an instinctual behavior deeply rooted within female biology. Manipulation is also a learned behavior, due to one’s need for survival. From a biological point of view there is not too much of a difference between biologically-rooted and learned behavior. In fact, from the point of view of both modem neurobiology and evolutionary psychology, behaviors repeated and learned over time become deeply rooted in the neurological patterns within the brain, to the point where the behavior becomes largely unconscious. As individuals are prone to choose behaviors which support survival, manipulation has certainly been selected as a desirable survival skill.

    Manipulation can be defined as the attempt to influence another person’s mind to achieve a certain outcome. Manipulation is very often seen as a negative thing. We, however, are not judgmental about manipulation, and actually consider it a positive feature, which has been designed to keep life continuing on this planet……

    ……Female manipulation can be either creative or destructive, depending on the desired outcome. From the point of view of the man, female manipulation can be considered “good” when it supports life and the man’s interests and “bad” when it destroys life and/or damages the man’s interests.

    May all your female stages of manipulation elevate and celebrate males in your family by admiration and respect. Which I assume you do anyway.

    Otherwise, pick your friends wisely, but pick them.

    No Person Will Complain for Want of Time Who Never Loses Any

    INTJs tend to have set opinions about what works, what doesn’t, what they’re looking for, and what they’re not. These discriminating tastes can come across as arrogant, but INTJs would simply argue that it’s a basic filtering mechanism that allows them to direct their attentions where they will do the most good. The fact is that in friendship, INTJs are looking for more of an intellectual soul mate than anything else, and those that aren’t prepared for that kind of relationship are simply boring. INTJs need to share ideas – a self-feeding circle of gossip about mutual friends is no kind of social life for them.

    INTJs will keep up with just a few good friends, eschewing larger circles of acquaintances in favor of depth and quality.

    Further, having more than just a few friends would compromise INTJs’ sense of independence and self-sufficiency – they gladly give up social validation to ensure this freedom. INTJs embrace this idea even with those who do fit into their social construct, requiring little attention or maintenance to remain on good terms, and encouraging that same independence in their friends.

    When it comes to emotional support, INTJs are far from being a bastion of comfort. They actively suppress their own emotions with shields of rationality and logic, and expect their friends to do the same. When emotionally charged situations do come about, INTJs may literally have no clue how to handle them appropriately, a glaring contrast from their usual capacity for decisive self-direction and composure.

    But Friendship Is Precious

    When they are in their comfort zone though, among people they know and respect, INTJs have no trouble relaxing and enjoying themselves. Their sarcasm and dark humor are not for the faint of heart, nor for those who struggle to read between the lines, but they make for fantastic story-telling among those who can keep up. This more or less limits their pool of friends to fellow Analysts and Diplomat types, as Observant (S) types’ preference for more straightforward communication often simply leaves both parties frustrated.

    It’s not easy to become good friends with INTJs. Rather than traditional rules of social conduct or shared routine, INTJs have exacting expectations for intellectual prowess, uncompromising honesty and a mutual desire to grow and learn as sovereign individuals. INTJs are gifted, bright and development-oriented, and expect and encourage their friends to share this attitude. Anyone falling short of this will be labeled a bore – anyone meeting these expectations will appreciate them of their own accord, forming a powerful and stimulating friendship that will stand the test of time.–16 personalities.

    Personality is change-able. Esp. via Game.

    Play the game well. You may not be interested in Game, but it is interested in you. So you would be inclined to manage your energies in introversion well. Conserve your energy when needed, but donate your socializing time well for the sake of the husband and children. In doing so, you benefit them. Break the mold. Enhance your strengths, minimize your weaknesses.

    Push to your edge rather than be trapped in buffers and insecuritities.

  8. @ Blaximus

    I just remember the fixing menopause with lube. So, I will plead old man on this as well. A couple of points. It has been my experience that while things level out, that doesn’t mean that they return to their previous state.

    Also, I’m glad for you that your wife returned to a regular period. (It’s menopause when it’s a year of missed periods—but don’t wait that long.)

    Concerning the body fat issue. This is great, but also terrible! Great because with the lower body fat she must feel like the woman from your past–Enjoy! Terrible because body fat makes estrogen and when the ovaries fail, unless she goes on HRT she will be more likely to suffer a quicker downgrade in looks—face and figure.

    I have a family member, several years younger—fittness fanatic, decided to be natural and not use HRT. She now looks several years older.

    Again, wishing you and all other men many more years of proliferative phase sex. As men, we are not supposed to know about these things, and even alpha men, as Rollo pointed out in his recent essay, are vilified, if they don’t keep quiet and be supportive of her (the FI’s) decisions.

    @ Kick-Ass Fathers

    Part of the reason that I felt stupid doing the choke hold was that he submitted, didn’t even struggle. I agree that the Father needs to make his sons and daughters know that he is in control. However, a huge problem that redpill parents will encounter is that we as a society, reinforced by the public schools, are teaching our children that they are on equal footing with adults. They have rights to express their opinions and no one is allowed to touch them. They are lead to believe that they are surrounded by a bubble of protection. If it is violated, they are encouraged to report the violation to a teacher or a policeman.

    There was a case, not too long ago, where a boy was caught shoplifting. When his Mother came to get him, he made some rude comment to her, and she took a swipe at him. She was taken into custody for child abuse.

    I respect your mentoring of young men, but fatherhood when it comes to your own son as opposed to daughters is beyond the hardest of hard modes that many who haven’t done it can imagine. My son has always been strong-willed (can’t imagine where he gets it–no, actually I do). I can fully subscribe to some of ehintellect’s recent comments concerning his sons.

    Here is only one example, but it was probably about the worst 30 minutes of my life as a father.

    Simple mission—I take my 5 year old Son to the mall to buy his preschool teacher a gift certificate. It’s a pretty big mall in the shape of an L. Some storefronts jut out in a triangle pattern—so, looking down the concourse is not a straight shot. We enter at one end, on the 2nd level. The mall office is in the center.

    We pass by a Radio Shak. He wants to look at the large radio-controlled cars on the floor and drops to his knees. I want a telephone handset cord detangler. I am less than 8 feet from him. I turn my back for about 10 seconds to look at the peg wall, find the item and turn back around.

    He is gone! My son is gone! I run the the door and look both ways. There is no sign of him. I run toward the center of the mall looking in every store.

    I find mall security. They begin searching. All I can think of is that he as been abducted, and I will never see him again. The search of the surrounding stores doesn’t turn up anything. He’s been missing for about 10 minutes by this time, and I am going to have to tell my wife that our son is gone.

    A thought passes through my mind, but it seems impossible. Thomas the Tank Engine–he loves Thomas and has memorized all the trains, their colors, their numbers and the dialog that they speak. I took him to the hobby store that is at the other end of this mall about 6 months before, and we entered at the other end.

    I begin to sprint towards the store. It’s about 200 yards away. I yell to the security guard and he follows me. We arrive at the store and there he is calmly rolling trains back and forth on the special Thomas train table. He’s not scared. He’s not lost. He looks at me and says, “Now I won’t get to play with Thomas, and starts to cry.” I lecture him. Then the security guard lectured him. He said that he was sorry and as much as a child that age is able, he was made to understand what he had done. He received the then standard punishment of loss of privileges.

    Much later, he explained that he knew exactly where the “Thomas Store” was. When I turned my back, he jumped up and sprinted there, hugging the wall so that he wouldn’t be seen. You would not think that with premeditation, a child who cannot read, stands about 4 feet tall, had not spent much time in this mall could navigate to a store from the reverse direction. But…that’s what boys do. My daughter has given me “moments”, but nothing even close to this.

    So, I am not at all proud of his outburst, or my initial reaction. I have dealt with it. I’m not looking for any fatherhood medals, but I have him almost to full manhood. I’ll take it.

  9. @ If-I-Fell

    “I am not at all proud of his outburst”

    Any adventurous youthful behavior at any age should be promoted, IMO. Fearless, not reckless, right? Think of it this way, even at that young age he was uninhibited enough, confident in his sense of direction, logistics and independence to do what he thought best for him. Sounds alpha, just needed direction.

    Adam Walsh story comes to mind, tho.


    I can’t really make my kids any better but I sure as shit can make them a lot worse by smothering them, ignoring them, recklessly beating (in that they don’t understand the cause-effect).

    Sometimes I have to look backwards at all I’ve accomplished to see clearer where I’m going.


  10. This should make all RP men angry! Another successful man brought down by a jilted whore in Australia…

  11. Can’t remember which thread that Trump discussion was on, so I’ll pick…this one.
    For some reason the recent missile launch at Syria while attending the Chinese negotiation reminds me of this scene:

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