The Unbearable Rightness of Being Female

unbearable

The following post quote has been making the rounds in professional circles. It’s from Sallie Krawcheck, CEO of Ellevest, an investment firm dedicated to helping women with financial investment (no jargon, no ‘playing’ stocks for sport, no mansplaining, you got this). She’s also the “chair” of Elevate Network, a global professional women’s network. I’m adding this here to make a later point, but it’s important to understand how normalized it’s become for women to create a sexually exclusionary organization for women who will simultaneously complain about men’s sexism for not accommodating their (presumably successful) business culture to the interests of women. More on that later.

I thought I’d riff on this click-bait for, I assume, professional women because I expect we’ll see more of this prefabricated outrage in the coming years as a response to what will undoubtedly be the suffering of the Trump era in America. I’ll be the first to admit I was surprised by Trump’s win, but the denial of the First Female President® into the White House will be the cause du jour for every jilted woman who believes she’s a “professional”. Even if Clinton had won the mainstream would’ve been inundated with how ‘we still have a long way to go’ stories, however, with Trump in the Presidency the same tired narrative of systemic male sexism will get reinvigorated in the coming years.

From, A Letter to young women, in the age of Trump:

When I was your age, I thought it was over. My mother was a feminist, so I wanted to call myself anything but a feminist. And anyway, I seemed pretty welcome at work. Even though it was Wall Street, my analyst class was about a third women. We weren’t just on our way — we’d arrived.

But then…there were the inappropriate pictures left on my desk. The guy miming a sex act when my back was turned. I wasn’t given the great assignments; the more senior woman I worked with was likewise dismissed as “lightweight” (and, lest you think that might have been true, that woman was Safra Catz, now the co-President of Oracle). Then the women started to fall away in their 30s…more in their 40s. But the worst of it, I thought was over.

And now Trump has made it clear to everyone that the battle for us women is not over.

In femopshere there will always be an ‘us’. As I’ve outline in many prior essays, the Sisterhood will always take precedence above religion, politics, personal conviction and even family affiliations for women. Largely this is due to women’s evolved propensity for collectivism among their own sex. In our hunter gatherer beginnings women had an interdependent need for collective support for keeping tribal cohesion as well as child rearing.

This intrasexual collective support has carried over into what’s become the Sisterhood today. If you look at the interactions of young girls and their social group interdependence you begin to see that nascent tribal collectivism naturally come through. In terms of larger societal scope this collectivity becomes about acknowledging a shared experience of an imagined oppression by men. Between all women there is a gestalt understanding of “the plight of women” and a presumption of an endemic sexism no matter how culturally or socioeconomically dissimilar those women are.

As I mentioned, Trump is now a universal icon of that presumption of sexism and oppression. Granted, it could’ve been any man who displaced a woman in the history books, but the fall back presumption is that whoever ‘he’ is, he becomes emblematic of a ready narrative of sexism irrespective of merit. We presume sexism, we presume a guy would mime a sex act behind a woman’s back and leave ‘inappropriate’ pictures on a woman’s desk despite decades of workplace harassment legislation. We believe it because it sounds right; it sounds like something a typical sexist guy would do.

I can’t stop thinking about this and what we can / should do:

Remember that gender bias in the workplace is not a thing of the past. I’m sorry if I didn’t act when I should have. I thought we had left sexism behind us by the time I was in more senior roles. After all, we had complaint hotlines and diversity plans and requirements for diverse slates of candidates for every job. But now I’m remembering one of the members of the senior leadership team who would kiss younger women on the cheek at the beginning of meetings. Creepy, right? I now wonder what was being said when I wasn’t in that room.

What’s creepy is that in spite of years in a professional field that’s been the domain of men she’s just now remembering this fact. Would it have been less creepy if he’d kissed only his age-appropriate women on his leadership team? Professional women’s default presumption is that it is always sexism that is holding them back from breaking through a mythologized ‘glass ceiling’, but as is women’s solipsism, their first thought is that their problems are caused by externalities. Never is there an insight that they may simply lack the skills or that they don’t perform at their peak in a job they were told should be rewarding to them.

Gender biases will never be a thing of the past because to suggest they ever might be so is to presume a default state of egalitarian equality between the sexes. The gender biases in the workplace are most evident in the peer selection and peer evaluations of women – not some secret group of guys getting together in a private office room to expressly talk about a their co-workers’ tits.

As it stands in today’s modern office men are scared shitless every time they are called to cooperate with a woman on work projects for fear of being accused of sexism or harassment:

“In a lawsuit-happy culture, where claims can be made on a ‘he said/she said’ basis, men are now trying to ensure their actions are always covered by a third party witness”

“The terror of being accused of sexual harassment is now so common it has its own term, ‘backlash stress”

There’s a reason HR departments are largely staffed by women, because they want to be positioned in a way that they can execute policy. HR departments no longer exist to serve the company with regards to employees, rather they exist in order to protect that company from lawsuits and enforce feminine-primary conditions in the workplace.

Ask tough questions, and call the guys out when necessary. I recently asked my best guy friend: “Do guys really talk like Donald Trump and Billy Bush behind closed doors?” His response: “No, but…” And the “but” was that the conversations are more along the lines of: “Boy, she has great legs,” or “she’s a looker” or “Whew. Wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole.” When I asked him how he responded to this, he said he didn’t say anything; after all, he has to work with these folks.

But so do we. And breaking us down to our body parts or our appearance dehumanizes us in some way. Maybe it’s only in some small way. But it’s clear that for some years, we (and by we, I mean I) were likely too complacent about the inevitability of gender progress in the workplace and relaxed perhaps just a bit too much.

It’s funny and irreverent when all the girls in the office get together for drinks or a male revue strip show after work, but it’s dehumanizing when men do the same. I’ve known very few men who would ever comment on a woman’s anatomy in a workplace environment. I have known men who would scold other men for staring a little too long at a female co-worker. I have known women to actively flirt with guys and wear inappropriate outfits to get attention from them. I’ve known women who’ve called me and other men I’ve worked with their “work husbands”.

I’ve worked in the liquor and casino promotion businesses for two decades now. I see some pretty wild behavior on the part of women who are not unlike the poor victimized dears Krawcheck describes going to work on Monday mornings.

The modern workplace culture has conditioned men for fear of women thanks largely to strict codes of conduct, but also because these men have been raised from birth to be dutiful Betas and White Knights who look for every opportunity to correct a ‘typical man’ for his sexist and rude behaviors. They look for these backroom boys clubs where women are rated on their looks so as to expose their heinous misogyny and institutionalized sexism, but they are disappointed when they don’t actually find it. So instead they contribute to an atmosphere of fear in some lame form of Beta Game they hope will be recognized and rewarded for by workplace women.

If you’re in a bad work situation, it’s ok to quit. So many women think that it’s a “failure” if you quit your job; and you know how hard we females take failure. But sometimes it’s not us: it’s them.

I recently left the board of a non-profit that I LOVE. I had been on it for years (and years). At nearly every meeting I asked how much we were spending on our investment managers, in comparison to the return we were getting. Meeting after meeting I was told that the answer was complex, it was hard to calculate, it would take a lot of work – and why did it matter anyway? It was really the net returns that matter, regardless of how much we paid for them. And then, last spring, before I could bring up the topic, one of the men did; and all the other guys eagerly agreed with him, that we need to keep an eye on fees because those are really all we can control.

I quit the next week.

Life is too short, and I can have a lot more impact with the week-a-year I get back instead of being ignored in meetings.

I know not everyone is in the position to quit; I wasn’t earlier in my career. So the onus is also on those of us who are more senior to be more supportive of women who leave these situations. I am hopeful that an outcome of this election will be greater understanding of this.

If it had been a woman who’d made the same suggestion would we be hearing about this? Shit like this happens all the time in the workplace. One reason The 48 Laws of Power resonated with men so well is because it was relatable to exactly this kind of situation. Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit for it yourself. Sallie sees this as sexism because it happened to be a guy who pulled it on her, but would she have quit the non-profit had it been a woman who outplayed her?

This is the reality of even the most seemingly benign of companies. They are defined by the interplay of power dynamics, but when women are bested in it the sexism narrative is ready on standby to comfort and explain their failure. So it becomes OK to quit, because the environment is always sexist. The business environment is one defined by competition and this grates on women’s expectation of it to be cooperative and collective. Women like Sallie expect recognition for merit, but wish for things to be easier rather than developing the skills to play the game better.

Get yourself a senior, successful – preferably female – mentor, who can help you navigate the politics of your company. This includes the gender politics. Can’t find one on your own? Speak to HR about helping you find one; this is their job, after all.

Your company doesn’t have a senior, successful female? Get the hell out of there.

Really the only sexism I’m seeing in this piece has been one coming from and endorsed by Krawcheck. She bemoans a lack of gender equity and then suggests a female mentor would be preferable to a male one. Her sexism is blatant here – the only definition of a solid reputable company is one that ensures it has a senior, successful female in it. Since most HR departments are staffed primarily with women it’s their job to help you find a senior, successful and female mentor? I’m not a business insider, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t their job.

I made this point in Male Space, but what happens when women insert themselves into a traditionally male dominated domain is that the enterprise becomes about accommodating the female influences rather than the enterprise itself. This entire article is an indictment of this. Again, the solution to a woman’s problem of not being successful is sought externally.

Do your best to make sure that your success is quantified. Be it a sales goal, a client satisfaction rating, an output metric, a quality target. Numbers count here because they’re black-and-white, cut-and-dried. Were you successful or not? I recommend this even if you work in a “normal” company, because implicit gender biases and expectations still exist for all of us.

Solid enough advice, but it’s couched in the context of an expectation of gender biases (at least the type of bias Sallie finds unacceptable). There’re implicit gender biases, but the ones we see dominate even ‘normal’ companies are ones that favor a feminized workforce.

Think about starting your own thing. This is what’s exciting; we have the ability to start our own businesses today, in a way we didn’t in the past. Why not take our marbles to our own playgrounds and build great businesses and cultures? Our mothers couldn’t do this because the cost was so high – but the costs of everything-about-starting-a-business, including technology, people (i.e., freelancers), real estate (co-working spaces) and support services are coming down. And then no one can relegate you to the less-interesting jobs.

Women are taught that they deserve the luxury of interesting jobs. In fact this is the sole reason for even wanting to enter the workforce most times – a rewarding career that’s fulfilling, but as I wrote in She’s Unhaaapy… that fulfillment is always elusive. Therefore it must be that uncooperative men are holding women back from this happiness.

I’m not sure opening another gourmet cupcake eatery counts as contributing to the status of women in business, but I would say that women ought to be encouraged to start up their own businesses rather than rely on the proven successes of established ones to prove their business acumen. Carly Fiorina and Sheryl Sandberg are not innovators in any sense. Neither started a company from scratch, but they are lauded as powerful businesswomen because they supposedly had the moxie to compete with the big boys and their sexist enterprises – not actually as a result of their companies wanting to present a feminine-correct public image.

I would love to see women’s organic business successes despite themselves, but my guess is that every failure or setback would have some tinge of external sexism attached to them. The truth is there are very few women who actually create something of worth because the easier path to success is to create a social convention that shames men for not including women in their own successes. It will always be easier for women to appropriate the success of men rather than create anything for themselves.

I am going to go out of my way to support other women. It’s clear now: we can’t do this alone. Another woman who is promoted or celebrated or funded clears the way for another. I am actively looking to buy from women-owned businesses, which is much easier these days — Glossier, Outdoor Voices, and Project September are just a few of a new wave of startups led by women — and avoid companies that remain all-men. I’m just so over supporting them.

And here we have yet more fem-centric sexism in a piece decrying male sexism. Weren’t we just reading about how surprised Sallie was about gender bias not being a thing of the past in the workplace? Because Trump won the election she calls for a boycott from buying anything from male owned companies?

One thing I’ve always found ironic about women’s call for collective, gender-exclusionary support for other women is that women are often guilty of even worse infighting than men are in the workplace. Lets face it, women hate other women to a degree that most men are unaware of. Their capacity for sub-communication and psychological warfare among themselves makes intra-sexual competition more brutal than having to deal with any so-called sexist male co-worker. From women’s collectivist perspective one would think that women’s intra-sexual support of other women would make them all outstanding successes in business, but we find the opposite is true. Women have a very hard time making an all-female enterprise a success. Naturally this is blamed, again, on men’s sexists brinksmanship and outmaneuvering them, but by and large it’s internal conflict that destroys all-female run enterprises.

Invest. Having spent my career on Wall Street and now being the founder of Ellevest, a digital investment platform for women, I know I’m a broken record on this topic. But men invest to a greater extent than women do, and it costs us. Indeed, I believe investing is the best career advice women aren’t getting. Think about it – are you more able to tell your boss to take this job and shove it if you have more money or less money?

That’s what I thought. At the end of the day, money is the real key to gender equality.

Of course we get the sales pitch at the end. Women don’t invest because it’s not sexy. It requires a degree of commitment and a depth of insight that goes well beyond what an average woman has any interest in. I do find it entertaining that Sallie finally gets to the real reason for a gender inequality she claims she wants to see abolished. Money is most definitely a key to establishing social dominance and that creates a fundamentally unequal condition between men and women.

Businesses, successful ones, are founded on competition, not cooperation. This is the fundamental conflict we are experiencing in today’s corporate culture; women’s collectivism promotes what they believe should be a successful enterprise based on egalitarian cooperation while men largely see the enterprise as competition. Sometimes this is a win-at-any-cost type of competition, other times it may be more subtle, but the crux is that women’s propensity to want for a more collectivist approach to a successful enterprise is at odds with men’s competitive approach. Success in business is fundamentally unegalitarian, there are winners and losers, not co-equal participation trophy winners. But as women continue to insert themselves into the unegalitarian male spaces of enterprise we will see this push for cooperative hopes for business success fundamentally alter the purpose of these businesses as we attempt more and more to accommodate them.

0 0 votes
Article Rating

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

Speak your mind

1.1K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago
Luciano
4 years ago

@Rollo @All “RSD Luke hasn’t read TRM but he feels qualified to paint it as negative because it outlines unpleasant realities. Any negativity doesn’t play well with the sales pitch of Positive Thinking that RSD has adopted, thus the need to disqualify TRM. When that happens, then yes, it’s an attack directed here. So don’t give me this shit about when you get haters it means you’re legitimate when it’s RSD throwing shade at TRM.” Where did he says this? Last time I checked the RSD guys are FANS of your work, I’m sure that Owen would love to talk… Read more »

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“And you have to game the plain one too dont forget her…”

Yes. I started out implying that, but then neglected to state it explicitly. Not only is it not what they usually expect, but with a tight tag team like that, having the plain one like you is going to be critical if you’re looking for more than a one bang deal with the 10.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@RSDLuke

I’m not taking any sides but Ya and Scray are the only rational males (heh) that I would listen to 100% in the comments because everything they say is backed up

I see a bright future for you in Louisiana politics.

stuffinbox
4 years ago

It looks as if for now if you have an FR or want to comment on one scroll to top click field reports comment and reload as needed.

stuffinbox
4 years ago

IAS Left an FR there for breakdown

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Keith @dancers Went to a new bar last night and participated in the group lesson. I fucked around a lot in the lesson and I’m sure I annoyed the instructor…didn’t necessarily follow the drill cuz I was too busy chatting and enjoying myself, lol…quite a few very good social dancers were there…some of the same old cliquish girls were there, too, lol…silly girls…they don’t want to dance with any men who went to someone else’s party…didn’t bother me I started off dancing with two high school girls who were there with their parents…then I danced with their mother…the girls were… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Luciano Not sure what you’re getting at. TRM isn’t a PUA blog. Why is this impossible for guys solely interested in pickup only to understand?? If you’re looking for pickup direction, of course your perception will be that the 2 guys you mentioned are the only commenters with anything worthwhile to say. No my man. The hate you talk of is aimed at guys who might just already understand the stuff PUA is talking about. There is nothing wrong with not having struggled with women. Not everyone has struggled with pussy. People been fucking and reproducing forever. Wtf???? Then… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

But I have somehow got myself into the position where I am able to approach and build attraction with girls I find really hot, but can’t close. …… Intresting. Reckon it’s a mental block? Cant bring yourself to getting her number? Are you waiting for some magic moment? Next time you are chatting up your hottie and shit is going well, get your hand down to her wasit, brush/ pat her ass etc, when she steps away, hook a finger in her britches and drag her back to you. Extra points if you hook her panties. She slaps you or… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Ps my own experience is the hotter the girl the less bullshit. Less shit tests or any of that

redlight
redlight
4 years ago

@blax

“Just like it does for everyone. You’re not special. You don’t have superpowers.”

wtf are you talking about? you just have to watch the right video (hold on for a second while I become a RSD affiliate at https://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/affiliates.asp)

this is from October:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S9_b3gNHQk

“RSDTyler and RSDMadison teach you to unleash your superpowers to fight obstacles”

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Ton

She slaps you or you get her number.

Or maybe she tells you that if you do stuff like that you might get slapped. Through a buddy. Because she’s afraid that she’ll fuck you if she sees you again.

Luciano
4 years ago

@Blax You naturally know this and you’re married and had your fun from what I’ve read. Your one of the more outspoken people here but its like your a grad student at a 101 class, catch my drift. You would have a harder time teaching it because your life experiences helped shape the man you are today. Same goes for Rollo and all the other OGs that post on here. Most dudes nowadays learn more about life from movies, internet, anime and video games (which all push manboobery for the most part). It’s really tough trying to teach dudes my… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

“P.S.: my own experience is the hotter the girl the less bullshit. Less shit tests or any of that” Hey, Ton, that is why you have honor among men. Unrepentant masculinity. Before you even engage, the women don’t need to test you, because they see the thing they are testing for as you approach. These hotter girls trust your masculinity via your subcomms. Good job there. They don’t have to poke shit test. Nice gig you got going there and I’m a fan of that. Most men should push toward your mindset and your former life experiences as well as… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
4 years ago

@blax TRM isn’t a PUA blog. Why is this impossible for guys solely interested in pickup only to understand?? because they and rp theory go together. rp/trm is the theory, pua is it being applied in real time. each helps the other — rp explains more broadly why attraction and game techniques work, while FRs help to refine the theory. add to that I don’t know of any PUA guys who are soley interested in pickup. they comment here because they like TRM and they like hearing about the theory. finally, as has been mentioned many times, FRs comprised a… Read more »

redlight
redlight
4 years ago

@hank, @lostinegoyareally “yareally was saying their wives had old wrinkly vaginas and shit…he never said that lol” the quote mining from June 18 is Ya, which to repeat was: “… to me locking down to one vag means I’m just going to end up fucking an old wrinkly vag at some point” this was after he noted he was going to offend the OMG: “… the married guys will take offense to this but to me ugly is ugly. I’ll hear rants about how “my wife’s wrinkled hands are sexy to me because those hands passed my newborn son to… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
4 years ago

@redlight @blax yup, this is what I am talking about “… to me locking down to one vag means I’m just going to end up fucking an old wrinkly vag at some point” Which is not referring to OMG wives at all. He’s just saying that if he marries a girl, eventually she’s gonna get old, and he’s rather have a younger chick. Again, OMG being to sensitive, reading insults when there are not and aren’t referring to OMG wives specifically. Just Ya’s personal preference. “… the married guys will take offense to this but to me ugly is ugly.… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

Cool thing happened Friday. A chick who thought she was out of my league had her bitch shield up. I approached her and asked her to dance and she refused. I then smiled my Amused Mastery Smile ™ and said some random bullshit and she smiled and engaged me.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@redlight

“yareally was saying their wives had old wrinkly vaginas and shit…he never said that lol”

Dude, these guys are in lurrrve with YaReally…probably some are alpha widows.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

this was after he noted he was going to offend the OMG: “… the married guys will take offense to this but to me ugly is ugly. I’ll hear rants about how “my wife’s wrinkled hands are sexy to me because those hands passed my newborn son to me” and that’s cool if that’s your thing, but like, to me I just see wrinkled ugly hands lol” Of course, I would NEVER say that shit about Mrs. Gamer…she’s Asian, her hands aren’t wrinkly…YaReally YaReally is saying that OMGs would say shit that we don’t say that I can remember. The… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

I’ll hear rants

Where? Who has wife goggles on? Not me! Where is there a rant from an OMG about his wife’s sexy hands?

Bend over and drop your panties, girls.

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago
SJF
SJF
4 years ago

“Just a blog PSA: I’ve now bumped the link count of comments to 4 links before it goes to mod”

Hah, love you man.

But your language has failed before. The way you phrased it in the past was that three was borderline.

Four links are OK. Five goes to moderation? (Or 4 links goes to Moderation)

A whole new day. That is a great change.

It was interesting before when YaReally had thought he was above and beyond normal WordPress limitations set by you…

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Hank Brother, you can pose it any way you like. So let me ask you something. If a man has lived, and I’m talking about LIVED, for 40-70 years on earth, do you Really, honestly believe that he hasn’t tested shit numerous times over the course of his life? Do you really believe that?? If I told you that it’s possible to approach a woman and ask for a fuck, and get that fuck, that it would be crazy and impossible and that I’m talking out of my ass and haven’t field tested it? You think all men live… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Yeah Yareally has moved on before… he moved from the Chateau… a lot of guys there were just simply tired of poosy chasing PUA bits on non Game posts…

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

in addition to the mod issues

Jafyk
Jafyk
4 years ago

This isn’t directly related to this blog “The Unbearable Rightness of Women” but Rollo mentioned this earlier this year or late last year. I even forgot about it and I’m assuming a lot of people have forgotten about it as well but the showing will soon be upon us http://theredpillmovie.com/

stuffinbox
4 years ago

Thanks for the headsup Jafyk.

This probably wont be a box office hit,there is a theater down in the dorm district that will show it for sure.
I will go see it even if it is produced by a feminist.

Andy
Andy
4 years ago

@YaReally Hate to see you go man. I totally get it though… @Old Guys Lost respect for all of ya (except HABD, sfc Ton seems cool). Even the “enlightened” kfg (lol, not even close.) Hope you enjoy your little closed minded hug box echo chamber so you can reassure yourselves that the world isn’t changing and stroke each other’s egos, pat each other on the back and talk about guns and fighting and fixing cars and pizza recipes and shit. You know. REAL Red pill conversations… @Rollo Hope you contact Owen. I’d really love to see you open your mind… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Thanks SJF. No dobut I was blessed in that area as the things I am naturally drawn to create strong mental and physical frames But there is more going on. It’s my understanding that good looking people, men and women, have better over all experiences in life. I reckon that makes them easier going people. Nicer because the world has been nicer to them. And Blax is correct girls are just girls. The hottie is nicer because the world has been nicer to her but she is also use to all sorts of men beta orbiting and she has had… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Andy

Good progress. The end of one phase and the start of another…

Growth

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

@blax

See what it does to your kids when you dont discuss shit with them and just tell them to shut up? :>

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Bikes and bars If you don’t have one, buy a bike. Damn near doesnt matter what. Chicks dig bikes. Most chicks arent that fired up about brands. Harely has the best rep but chicks get on metric bikes every day. Some UMC chicks will semi avoid HD’s because of the blue collar rep, but not many. If you ride a moderate amount, say one road trip a month, you’ll always have something to talk about. A 2 week trip a year to yak about and chicks will hang on your stories. Society creates your status for you. Want to make… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Andy

Later!!!!!

Hope you find a clue and a security blanket out there in the field.😁

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Blax If I told you that it’s possible to approach a woman and ask for a fuck, and get that fuck, that it would be crazy and impossible and that I’m talking out of my ass and haven’t field tested it? Lol, that was my first at 19 in college back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and girls had ASD up the ass. I’m more than a little older than you are. I got this idea from reading a Playboy article about asking 100 girls if you wanted a fuck. I only needed to ask one and she was hot!… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

Anyway, I’m out of here. Partially out of solidarity for YaReally.

Alpha widow, lol. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass…

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@HABD @Ton

@Andy said:

Lost respect for all of ya (except HABD, sfc Ton seems cool).

I think Andy wants a date with HABD and Ton. heh

DisgruntledEarthling
DisgruntledEarthling
4 years ago

Come on dudes – just let the rest of them leave and keep about your business. No need to be snarky… frame and all…

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ asd Andy is an example of a guy that the red pill confused, and he just turbocharged his confusion by going all strawberry fields ( nothing is real ). He made a choice, as men will do. Married man with kids deciding to question all of his life choices without being thorough enough to actually reach any conclusions other than ” nothing is real so nothing matters”. So, he wants to drag his incomplete, emotional mindset into the all powerful field. Yeah, that should fix everything. Idk, maybe he’s gay at heart and that’s what’s confusing him. Alpha widow… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Sentient

Yeah Yareally has moved on before… he moved from the Chateau

When he can’t hold Frame and AMOG, he runs.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Earthling

Come on dudes – just let the rest of them leave and keep about your business. No need to be snarky… frame and all…

Oh, I hate to waste an opportunity for a bit of fun. No serious snark in my comments. Those young guys have me laughing. They tried a serious challenge and it failed. Don’t give up…try again.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Disgruntled Frame strong.😀 Removed the kid gloves and dialed back the excessive ” understanding and coddling “, as it yielded very little long standing results. Some motherfuckers want to just be confused and ignorant, and demand that they are special. You can’t even tell them to ” man up ” because that’s hilarious somehow and part of the FI. I’m all for guys looking for answers, but if you’re only looking for your shoes in the freezer, then you’ll be a shoeless dude until you understand the concept of a wider search. And everyone cosigning your freezer search so… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Blax So, he wants to drag his incomplete, emotional mindset into the all powerful field. Yeah, that should fix everything. Young men have accepted the FI message that men are incomplete women and women live in their feelings, so, in order to be truly human, men need to live in their feelings as well. It’s a common problem for young men–they are emotion-driven. I see it all the time. Older men know because of experience (= data points!!! Pay attention, @YaReally admirers!) that we can’t let our emotions control us. (or anything that might interfere with our mission, including various… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

On bikes… I worked with an older dude who was in a bike gang for a bit. was a cool guy, had a few bikes. He was getting me interested in getting one. He had a live in GF his age who worked with us in the dispatch office. She said there was nothing like the feeling of getting on the back of a Harley. didn’t give it much more thought. Oh the guy was also banging the 20 YO hot girl in the dispatch office… Then one night at my apartment about 1AM a guy was revving his rice… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

In line with the OP, men are incomplete women, so women are ideal human beings. Young, propagandized men live in fear of it being discovered that they aren’t women. Young men work hard at being women, including living in their feelings.

I aim to be AWARE of my feelings, but not to let them CONTROL me or interfere with my mission.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

If you want to know what I’m like in person, check out Ben in “The Intern”.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2361509/

Keith
Keith
4 years ago

@ Theasdgamer glad you got to dance. I was only asking about your dance skill set because the comments had changed to DPA. I was thinking what am I passionate about and ballroom is the only thing I push the envelope on. I stopped dancing about 2 months ago Same time I injured my lower back doing shoulder press at home. I should of stayed in the gym. Using gym equipment is safer but you have to wait. A hate not utilizing my time properly fuckers at the gym will just sit on peice of equipment and play on the… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

LOL I can damn near make Girl#1 cum if I keep the right rpms going in 4th gear on my Electraglide.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

On bikes and vibrations Two nuns were out riding their bikes in Rome when they hear the bells sounding for Mass. “We’re going to be late!” says the younger nun. The older one says, “don’t worry, I know a short cut, follow me” and she turns down a bumpy cobblestone side street. Breathless, they pedal up to the church just in time to go in. The younger one says “Sister Mary, I’ve never come that way before!” Simple dirty jokes are a good way to sexualize your convos… Get three or for you can do quickly in a row… take… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

I have 7 bikes; only one is set up for a passenger;)

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
4 years ago

Ain’t no place perfect. Ain’t no man right all the time.

Don’t know why we have to harp on each other so. It’s some dogmatic shit. Like madonna/whore complex applied to other men.

Christ. Let’s leave the self-cannibalizing to the SJW’s.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

So after you tell a few jokes, flip it around and tell her to tell one… she won’t be able to most of the time. Now you have her complying and then start qualifying to you… “really, You don’t know any jokes? Oh man, I thought you were cool.” roll off …[she qualifies] roll back “OK well what other skills do you have?”… [qualifies] If she manages a joke it will be lame so just act like this was the worst thing you ever heard in your life… and repeat as above… “that’s terrible!…. oh man I thought you were… Read more »

Thankful for today
4 years ago

@Rollo @YaReally Have you read On Women from Schopenhauer.
It’s a short essay where he talk about hypergamy, solipism and even about pLTR and the value proposition of marriage for men:
http://www.theabsolute.net/misogyny/onwomen.html

Thought you would be interested by it if you haven’t read that text yet.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

Theasdgamer I’m sure most of these guys don’t have clue what I’m talking about but I think you know

Some of it…different instructors use different terms. I tried telling girls they were Cinderella at the ball when I danced with them and the floor was empty…they ate it up. One was chatty cathy the whole time she danced with me and was always laughing and giggling…a lot of that was her personality, but she was also trying to qualify herself as fun to me. I didn’t even have to prompt the qualification.

Softek
Softek
4 years ago

@ Rollo I’m excited to see the FR section up and running. Looks really slick in the bar at the top. Took me a few minutes to realize where it was, which I think is a good thing as it doesn’t stick out at all. Just spent a few hours organizing my work area, including lots of labels for lots of drawers. Definitely makes things run smoother and I feel like that’ll do the same here. Very cool to see TRM growing and evolving…speaking of which, can’t wait for the 3rd book to come out to add to the collection.… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

I’m glad to see that Softek is a young man who hasn’t been scared off…no, I don’t want a date, lol.

I don’t think I’ll go play with the kiddies in the sandbox. If I have social questions, I’ll ask the men on the main posts.

@Keith

Do you see many problems caused by people forming cliques when you’re out dancing?

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
4 years ago

Talking to Connecticut girl this weekend:

Me: B.S you don’t have tattoos.

Her: I swear I don’t.

Me: Prove it.

Her: Yeah you want me to take off my clothes, here?

Me: Easy…easy. This is small town. Start with your top. Here, let me help you…

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Intellect Her: Yeah you want me to take off my clothes, here? Me: Yeah, here. [give her an amused “you’ve got to be kidding” look with a small smile] No, silly, if it’s in an intimate place, we’d need a little privacy. So let’s go for a walk. I’m not promising that I’ll look or that you’ll get a kiss, but we can chat and get acquainted. Maybe I’ll like you and maybe not. [give her an amused mastery smile] I need to like a girl before she gets a kiss. If she declines, roll off. She’ll probably try to… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
4 years ago

@blax So let me ask you something. If a man has lived, and I’m talking about LIVED, for 40-70 years on earth, do you Really, honestly believe that he hasn’t tested shit numerous times over the course of his life? Do you really believe that?? Its just like I was telling sentient about the Trump win. There were droves of people in the media with DECADES of experience on politics, elections, social trends, etc etc. These are EXPERTS. And they were DEAD wrong about the election. And then there were people out on the fringes, like myself, who have ZERO… Read more »

Agent P
Agent P
4 years ago

best day of 2016? Memory worthy days in 2016?

Setting world record with my kids, there’s one.

Long distance race with some buddies up Lake Michigan, yep, pretty good.

More than a few good and worthy memories spent cruising for a few weeks in the islands with the family.

Midway with my daughter, always a good time.

Making hooch with son, he makes me proud.

Making some PR’s learning to lift, I might remember some of that shit when I am older.

Looking forward to 2017, Have good momentum now.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Awesome news agentp!

SFC Ton
4 years ago

The SMP changes at an incredibly rapid pace. If a man has been off the street for any length of time he is probably behind the power curve about the tactical reality on the ground

However, some strategic shit never changes.

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago
Reply to  SFC Ton

Casual sex project
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NLj
Darlock
http://wp.me/pXWyH-amU

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@ton @Hank The SMP changes at an incredibly rapid pace. If a man has been off the street for any length of time he is probably behind the power curve about the tactical reality on the ground However, some strategic shit never changes. E-media changes rapidly. Game for e-media also has to change rapidly. Cold approach not so much. Holding frame requirement never changes. Status and confidence being attractive to women never changes. All strategic shit. Riding motorcycles for men is a status thing with some women and a fantasy trip for others…not to mention the sexual THRILL of riding… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

I’m leaving this here because “unbearable rightness of female”. Any girlies who read it can learn things, like “when the cops ask you to turn down your music at 3 AM, getting on a car and twerking at them might not be the best reply”.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/gainesville-woman-arrested-after-twerking-on-car-ignoring-officers

At least she did want one of the cops to stick around for a while.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

How you holding up Rugs?

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ SFC Ton Right. This is why guys shouldn’t become hermits. Never walk out into the sunshine wondering to yourself ” what happened?? Everything is different “. Went to a club a while back for Latin night, because I love dancing salsa and worked hard at it for a long time ( learned a bunch of old school moves from a bunch of old dudes in PR ). I like dancing with the wife, but sometimes I need to go out with the fellas. At the club I’m holding up the bar with my buds, having a few shots of… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
4 years ago

@ton @blax @ASDgamer The SMP changes at an incredibly rapid pace. If a man has been off the street for any length of time he is probably behind the power curve about the tactical reality on the ground However, some strategic shit never changes. That’s the whole disconnect between OMGs and YSG:. YSG/PUA talk (mostly) tactics OMG/TRM talk strategy Cold approach not so much. Holding frame requirement never changes. Status and confidence being attractive to women never changes. All strategic shit. Sure, but HOW you convey they confidence will shift slightly, or rather what women view as confident behavior. But… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

having a few shots of Old Grandad……. damn Blax that ain’t helping your case none but I do like Rocky’s

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Ton

” having a few shots of Old Grandad …”

Oh shit. It never occurred to me.

But, not a grandpa just yet.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

The real question is…. does it negatively affect your man cred if you bang the heavy chick and the hottie at the same time? Clearly banging a fattie solo gets you booted from the Council of Masculine Standards and Professional Pratices but is there ano Official Ruling on a heavy gal and her hot friend ?

SFC Ton
4 years ago

LOL busting on your choice of bourbons. One of my least favorites despite is being rather well regarded and having been around for 100+ years

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Hank Sure, but HOW you convey they confidence will shift slightly, or rather what women view as confident behavior. Give an example, please…I don’t perceive any difference 2016 vs. 1972. If anything, girls react even more positively to me now…Idk, maybe I have more confidence now. The difference though is what you do after. I ALWAYS go for same day lay…I leave if logistics don’t work. I don’t ask for a number before a lay with rare exceptions and sometimes girls want to give me their number or take mine. Same in 1970 as in 2016…there, you can see that… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Hank

Imagine running game before birth control pills were on the market, heh.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Ton

Actually the heavy chick was cute for a big gal. Proportioned but just bigger.

I’ve smashed a few battle cruisers in my lifetime. A lez and her skinny ” wife ” were a lot of fun.

The Grandad thing, my friends bust me about that too, but I cook quite a bit using grandad because it’s a bit cheaper, so I swill it sometimes while cooking.

So when I go out It just pops out of my mouth – Grandad.

mersonia
4 years ago

@Blax

Why didn’t you smash?

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
4 years ago

@Ton

Eh, I’d say you’re in the clear if the hottie won’t sleep with you unless you sleep with both of them.

If you have the chance to bang just the hottie and pull the big one along anyways, that’s a foul.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Ton

I never worried about what other guys thought about who I was boning. I had a nerdy looking 5 that was a hellcat in bed, and my friends called her my new dog.

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
4 years ago

@Blax

Hehe, sometimes there is no accounting for these things I admit.

I was crushing hard on a girl at a store the other day in spite of her being objectively pretty average, and the presence of an objectively hotter friend who left me cold. Subcomms maybe? I just got the impression we would click.

I’m also a sucker for big brown eyes, sappy as that sounds.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Imagine running game before birth control pills were on the market, heh. Anal. Because no matter what they say, they ain’t on the pill —————— Eh, I’d say you’re in the clear if the hottie won’t sleep with you unless you sleep with both of them. If you have the chance to bang just the hottie and pull the big one along anyways, that’s a foul. That would be my ruling as well. I have never banged a heavy drop. My pecker wouldn’t go for it ——————– Old Granddad is well liked, especially for the price. Store bought I am… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Forge Man, sometimes you just don’t know unless you try it out. My bed breaking 5 thought she was gaming me into bed by telling me that she would never have sex with me, then getting all explicit by saying stuff like ” I’m not going to suck your dick, or ride you hard, or let you tie me up…etc “. I’d decided a week before all of her pretense that I was gonna smash her to death. My boys asked me multiple times ” Why Blax?? “, like it hurt them to know. Thing was, she had the… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

“Yeah, my whole family done give up on me,
And it makes me feel oh so bad,
The only one who’ll hang out with me,
Is my Dear Old GrandDad”
George Thorogood

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ AR

Laugh My Ass Off!!!

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

ASDgamer
Imagine running game before birth control pills were on the market, heh.

That stuff was on the market before 1968. Just how old are you claiming to be this week?

Chump No More
Chump No More
4 years ago

Andy, you were ALWAYS a whiny little bitch, don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

The reason your life sucks as much as you claim is because you choose it to be so. ‘Owning your shit’ is a foreign concept to you and that is the sole reason why you fail.

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

I fully endorse the old school bourbons like Old Grand Dad as being good. Wild Turkey 101 is my favorite and lately, the country club pours it like three ounces on the rocks when I order it. I’d prefer it neat, but they like to make those rocks (ice) turn really brown. New age bourbons are just a fad. The old school stuff has more than enough character. I had my days of drinking enough whiskey to float a battle ship around. (Hey Gimme Back My Bullets). And I had my days of going upstream. No more. I only the… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Hank ” But the experts kept going by the old paradigms. They went with the old rules, the old books. They didn’t go out in the field and find out how things were changing. They didn’t keep testing their ideas and make sure they were still relevant. So yes, you do have experience. That’s great. But just because you’ve been around a while doesn’t mean you know anything. And more to the point, being an “expert” or “knowledgeable” isn’t an ending point. Its not a badge you get and then say “wheelp, I’m gonna call it a night. Now… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ SJF

Thanks, lol, but my FR’s suck donkey dick. But I appreciate the kind words.

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

@Chump No More I disagree with your indictment of Andy. Even if he has left the building. He fell victim to the Feminine Imperative. He got caught up in the fog of war. He then recently developed an existential crisis. The guy needs a fucking break. I don’t believe in kicking him when he is down. Because he is on the red pill team, and fighting a desperate war of attrition, trying to make it through triage. I recommend Dark Triad in his situation, because it seems correct to serve himself (enlightened self interest) in what I see are dire… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

@ Blaximus

That field report was the best one I have seen in a year. Why? The feel (emotional vibe) of being in the moment. The catch and release authenticity. Your dynamic approach. Your natural (testosterone infused) nature.

Good stuff.

Don’t sell yourself short. And use Old Grand Dad as a touchstone because it is authentic.

Zhu Wunang
Zhu Wunang
4 years ago

@blax You can’t even tell them to ” man up ” because that’s hilarious somehow and part of the FI. This right here is the disconnect between your 40-70 years of lived experience and your ability to pass on the wisdom gained from that experience. The fact that “man up” has been thoroughly corrupted in a FI-dominant society is well-documented. It’s not hilarious–it’s a debasement of everything masculine. Here’s a link to a hate speech website you may find relevant: https://therationalmale.com/2014/01/20/suck-it-up/ All we can see are words on a screen. There is no body language or vocal tonality on the… Read more »

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

Without tactics you cannot implement your strategy and lose the battle, but at least you know why.

Without strategy, you win the battle, but it was the wrong one and lose the war without having a clue.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@AR

ASDgamer
Imagine running game before birth control pills were on the market, heh.
That stuff was on the market before 1968. Just how old are you claiming to be this week?

“On the market” in the sense of “commonly available without a prescription.”

theasdgamer
4 years ago

It’s ironic that Zhu’s skepticism is repudiated by YaReally’s comment in the post that Rollo linked.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Ton

Imagine running game before birth control pills were on the market, heh.
Anal. Because no matter what they say, they ain’t on the pill.

I went bareback with my first who said she was on the pill and I believed her like a chump…well, so far no one has hit me up for child support and that girl has passed away already at a young age.

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

I can’t even remember Zhu’s indictment of me totally admitting that I was a dick for a week in the the past. Heh, at least I owned up to my weakness and transgressions. No hurt here. Good comment Zhu. In a world where I have changed every 3 weeks, 3 months, and 3 years, because of the manosphere, life is a changeable, adaptable, thing. I disown my old self. I have no idea what I was talking about back then, or how it came about or why Zhu even brought it up. I have no idea whether it is an… Read more »

Zhu Wunang
Zhu Wunang
4 years ago

@asd Here is what I wrote: All we can see are words on a screen. There is no body language or vocal tonality on the internet. There is only one way possible to assess whether you in fact possess the wisdom and experience you assert. That is to read your words and observe whether they appear to be consistent with what is already known and whether they appear to be internally consistent across your various posts. In other words, I’m asking whether the “report” is consistent with what I already know or believe to be true, whether from my own… Read more »

Zhu Wunang
Zhu Wunang
4 years ago

I can’t even remember Zhu’s indictment of me totally admitting that I was a dick for a week in the the past. Heh, at least I owned up to my weakness and transgressions.

Everyone stumbles sometimes. It’s how you owned up to it that demonstrates that you’re sincerely practicing what you say you’re doing.

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

@ Sentient

Did you start watching season three of The Affair on Showtime?

The first episode was interesting. With a Red Pill lens.

What do you think?

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

“In other words, if you have a small database of experience and principles that you know to be true, it will be harder, perhaps impossible, to verify the truth of the statements in the report. Because the results are inconsistent with your database, they will sound fake, even if true.”

Zhu be Zhu:

The thing is you are implying a small database if experience. That is a contrived small world. And not the case for “us”. That is a big difference.

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“In other words, if you have a small database of experience and principles that you know to be true, it will be harder, perhaps impossible, to verify the truth of the statements in the report. Because the results are inconsistent with your database, they will sound fake, even if true.”

I take it as a given that many of the words I write here will only have impact years, perhaps even decades, down the road.

Today is the second best time to plant a tree.

1.1K
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
%d bloggers like this: