@thelaplayboy @GoldmundUnleash why are women predisposed to be unhappy and tends to be their default go-to state? – How you deal with that
— JamesDelaney (@GorillaBourne) November 14, 2016
Do women seem more or less happy to you? It’s kind of hard to quantify/qualify what happiness means to men, but when it comes to women’s state of happiness or contentment I think most guys have a tendency to expect women’s experience of happiness to be measured on a similar scale to their own. From a strictly evo-psych / evo-bio perspective it’s important that any metric of happiness between the sexes be measured by first considering each’s innate psychological firmware and what contributes to men and women feeling a degree of happiness.
Because men and women rate their experiences differently per their own interpretations of what contribute to it happiness becomes a really subjective evaluation. As you might guess, what makes for a happy woman is not always what makes for a happy man. It’s a similar contrast to men and women’s differing concepts of love. Men tend to approach love from an idealistic perspective, and women base their emotional investments on opportunistic contexts. We’re conditioned from an early age to believe men and women share a mutual concept of love thanks to an ever-present presumption of egalitarian equalism between males and females, and this is where a lot of intersexual problems find their root.
Likewise, our egalitarian presumptions also condition men and women to believe that we share mutual concepts of what should and shouldn’t make either sex happy in a long term sense. In this case it is women who are largely misled by the equalist narrative. For more than sixty years women have been conditioned to believe they can meet their own idealistic goal of ‘having it all’ if they can only “empower” themselves into being Strong Independent Women®. Increasingly women are coming to the conclusion that this pro-woman life plan has been nothing but feel-good advertising, and now, after having invested their most productive years in this narrative they find that they are largely unhappy with the results its brought into their lives.
You see, equalism (the religion of feminism) would have women believe that what makes men happy must necessarily be what makes women happy – or would make them happy in the long term if only the “patriarchy” would allow women the same opportunities to experience it. If we are all blank-slate equals, what makes women and men happy must be mutually shared, thus men are encouraged to be women and craft their identities around feminine-primacy, but also, women must become men and craft their personas around the masculine ideals that bring men so much power, and by way of it happiness.
Yet in our modern western(izing) world we find that the equalist effort to socially engineer androgyny into society has had the opposite effect in engendering happiness in women. Article after article and study after study show that women’s perceived happiness is at an all-time low since researchers have been collecting data on it. Women are living longer lives and at no point in history have they enjoyed more access to the means of more success than in the now. Mainstream feminine-primacy sees that more women are college educated than men, while men fill our prisons at 12 times the rate of women, yet for all of this women express feeling less satisfied with the quality of, and happiness in, their lives.
American women are wealthier, healthier and better educated than they were 30 years ago. They’re more likely to work outside the home, and more likely to earn salaries comparable to men’s when they do. They can leave abusive marriages and sue sexist employers. They enjoy unprecedented control over their own fertility. On some fronts — graduation rates, life expectancy and even job security — men look increasingly like the second sex.
But all the achievements of the feminist era may have delivered women to greater unhappiness. In the 1960s, when Betty Friedan diagnosed her fellow wives and daughters as the victims of “the problem with no name,” American women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. Today, that gender gap has reversed. Male happiness has inched up, and female happiness has dropped. In postfeminist America, men are happier than women.
And, as would be expected, women’s dissatisfaction with their lives is always traced back to uncooperative men and their reluctancy to make feminism the roaring success they just know it could be if men would simply accept their diminishing importance and superfluousness. What Today’s Woman has been sold is that the careerism, status seeking and ambitiousness that’s driven men to their sense of happiness-through-accomplishment (with all the prerequisite sacrifices needed to get there) is necessarily the same path to women’s sense of happiness and fulfillment.
But men and women are in fact different, and while the social experiment that is equalism continues to destroy lives by insisting they aren’t, women are coming to find (often too late in life to correct) that happiness for themselves comes as a result of satisfying needs that are innate to their nature as a female. As such, equalism and feminism fluidly redefine what “should be” happiness for men and women – men should always find fulfillment in making women happy in an ‘equalist’ utopia – yet that contentment for women will always be elusive and thus, a need to make men the culprits in that unending oppression of happiness comes into play.
Worst Case Scenario
Virtually every woman I’ve ever come into contact with in my lifetime shared a common mindset – each one subscribes to what I call the ‘worst case scenario’ mindset. I expect this from a mother or matronly relative, maybe even an overprotective sister, but to some degree all (and yes I mean all) women share a sense of risk aversion. That may not be in all aspects of a woman’s life, and certainly there are instances where this can be overridden – usually ones that imply an optimized Hypergamous opportunity – but I find that it’s part of women’s psychological firmware to obsessively want to mitigate risk of loss. Whether that’s risk of injury or resources or something that has a potential for providing her with security, the innate female subroutine is to play things safe.
In an age of mass media and instantaneous communication (women’s domain) this risk aversion gets combined with women’s primary, evolutionarily derived, need for a sustainable long term security and an existence-level sense of doubt. I’ve covered in prior posts about how Hypergamy is rooted in doubt and demands a constant reverifying of its being optimized in a man or a man with whom a woman has the potential of becoming intimate with. What results from this root level doubt and a hindbrain need for security is a continual preoccupation with the Worst Case Scenario.
Every possibility for the worst is thought through, contemplated and anticipated by women. There are very few women known for their genuine optimism or faith in a better outcome than what could possibly be the worst case. Yes, there are women who are saccharine motivational speakers, women’s ministry leaders and “make it a great day” believers in the magic powers of positivity, but even when it is genuine it comes as the result of wanting to mitigate the risks of the worst case scenario for their own (or women’s) lives.
As I wrote in Imagination, a man’s best tool in his Game toolbox is a woman’s imagination. That may be well for Game, but it also comes with the drawback of women’s imaginings of the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Throw women’s evolved sense of solipsism into this mix and it’s the worst possible thing that could happen, to her. On one hand, Dread is useful because of this innately female dynamic, but when you must contend with what amounts to a never ending battery of ‘what if’ doubts and reassurances then you begin to see the downside of that imagination. You begin to understand why women default to blaming men for not providing them with a sustainable happiness.
Women, being the life-bearing, nurture-giving sex with the most to lose in their investment in selecting a mate and gestating a child, have evolved to seek a sustainable security above all else – a security that guarantees her individuated happiness. That conventional, evolved sense of wellbeing used to be dependent upon the provisioning and the excitement that could only be provided by men. This is a subconscious expectation of women. Even women who subscribe to sexual fluidity often seek a similar security from their masculinized dominant partner.
As a result of our equalist social narrative, women have been conditioned to believe that they can find this security and happiness in some untapped well they have hidden in their psyche if only they can be Strong and Independent enough to access it. In prior essays I’ve made the case that the ultimate goal of our feminine-primary social order has been to facilitate women’s optimizing Hypergamy by essentially outlawing men’s influence on that process. Every gender-based law that’s come into being since the time of the Sexual Revolution; from sexual consent, to what constitutes sexual harassment, to father’s (lack of) rights, to divorce settlement has been motivated by this deep seated female need for an enduring security. This was a security unique to men, but in an ‘equalist’ paradigm it is no longer required of, nor is it expected to be found in, men.
Yet for all of this handwringing, for all of the great efforts needed to legislate men’s direct or indirect financing of this security, and despite every social dispensation intended to empower women to provide this soul-gnawing need for security, women are still not happy.
The masterful Pook once said that the surest way to make a woman unhappy is to give them everything they want. I recently got into, yet again, another debate about the merits or non-merits of Choreplay and whether the idea of women getting hot for guys who do dishes was really a thing,…or not. This time the spin is that women will cheat on their husbands if they don’t do more chores.
As I was requoting myself for this debate I realized how long the Choreplay dilemma has been playing out – the first time I took it on was 2008. Men are deductive problem solvers. We want to make women happy as a means to getting sex, keeping the peace, sustaining intimacy, security, and just making a woman happy. The problem with that is that nothing a man can do will make a woman happy in the long term. In fact, just the whack-a-mole attempt to intentionally try to make a woman happy is itself a display women read as coming from a man who Just Doesn’t Get It.
The majority of men (Betas) would like nothing more than to sustain a woman’s happiness. They’re taught that relationship are always ‘hard work’ and his work will ultimately never be good enough. Even the most dutiful Beta can’t make a woman happy, but their efforts become a process of him negotiating for a woman’s desire. Whether that’s earning the ‘happiness’ of his mother, his sister, his female co-worker or his wife, the effect is the same.
We’ve made women’s happiness a litmus test for how successful a man or his relationships are. The common refrain of a woman leaving a man due to her being “unhaaaaaapy” is almost a cliché in the manosphere now. But if it’s a cliché it’s because this is the go-to reasoning we’ve heard from pop-psychologists, marriage counselors and mommy bloggers for the 70%+ of divorces initiated by women. We are expected to put a premium on women’s sustained happiness in a feminine-primary social order. Women’s happiness has become the prime directive and the metric for a relationship’s success. Any concern for men’s happiness is either a sign of his weakness or his problematic misogyny.
From Perfecting the Fantasy:
Here’s a secret – there’s no such thing as contentment.
Being content implies that life is static; it’s not, and to be honest, how boring would that be anyway? Life consists of varying states of discontent: why else would you bother doing anything? But the good news is that it’s more fun and more beneficial to manage discontent than to endure contentment (which you can’t anyway since it’s transitory at best). The trick is to understand that there are 2 kinds of discontent – creative and destructive discontent. What you choose to do with that discontent makes all the difference in the world. You will only get what you’ve gotten if you keep doing what you’ve done. Don’t allow yourself to fall back into old destructive habits of dealing with discontent. Don’t bother with anti-depressants and self-help books when a good hard workout at the gym would serve you better.
The truth is I’m always discontent, but constructively so. The minute you can look yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see you’re sunk. You can always improve, even after achieving things that were once very important and difficult to attain. Happiness is a state of being, it’s in the ‘doing’ not the ‘having done.’ It’s not about endlessly chasing your tail, it’s about being better than you were the day before.
I agree with Gorilla Patriot, women’s default is for unhappiness, but I’d qualify this by saying it’s more of a predisposition of discontent. That is to say there is no real neutral disposition for a woman. Even in a state of indifference, a woman’s conditioned expectation from men will always originate from a preconception of disappointment. The worst case scenario is what is subconsciously planned for to the point that, even a man whom a woman loves and trusts, a woman’s first expectation from him is failure.
A lot of this comes from a lifetime of having male role models portrayed as default failures, social ignoramuses or just ridiculous because of their maleness. Women have had an endless education that only their unique femaleness can solve men’s problems of maleness, and they solve it in spite of themselves. Women are quite literally taught to expect failure, discontentment and unhappiness from men from a very early age.
The great tragedy of this ‘education’ is that it teaches women to empower themselves to find some life satisfaction as a result of their independence from men, but yet they can’t get around the want to find happiness with men. This teaching seeks to create some equalist semblance of happiness based on what men define for themselves as happiness.
They’re taught that a real enduring security is somehow possible in an intrinsically unsafe and chaotic world. So they limit men, they mandate laws and social mores to mitigate the risks that men, in their idealism, would naturally be drawn to take. They keep the kids safe, tell them to walk on one side of the sidewalk, tell them not to jump on the bed, tell them not to ride a bike without a helmet and knee and arm pads, and to prepare for the most damaging possibility imaginable. And men, who’ve always been bigger, more dangerous children to them, must comply with this risk aversion by law or by shame.
Women are unhappy because they expect unhappiness. They’ve been taught that the security they sought in men was a weakness; one they need to compensate for. They were conditioned to feel shame for that need, that masculine comfort, even when they know security is never going to be guaranteed in the best of possible cases. They’re unhappy because they were taught that men’s happiness is better than women’s happiness and that’s the path they ought to follow no matter the sacrifice, no matter the damage to the family. They were taught that feminist pride and equalist hubris were a better substitute for a family – they believed the lie that they would just be ‘happy captives’.
[…] She’s Unhaapppy,… […]
“Comply with this risk aversion by law or by shame.”
Just enjoying life may require a permit.
Hollywood and TV series are full of strong independent career women, truly annoying.
Very puzzling post Rollo…
This is a solid post right here. Only a few days ago, I thought to myself, why are white women so damn miserable? I’ve spent significant time in Southeast Asia, and one of the things I like most about the Asian women is a lot of them are happy. They are also much more feminine and submissive compared to a Westernized white woman. I do a lot of Tinder dating, and almost started avoiding any white girl matches like the plague. It’s like something crawled inside them and died. They are never pleasant to talk to and feel the need… Read more »
Another home run Rollo. The mind blowing thought this gave me: Since the advent of feminism and the American equalist society, women have become collectively mentally ill in pursuit of the secure feeling they had before that tectonic societal shift.
A Simple Proposal
I’m channeling Jonathan Swift.
I’ve been thinking about this equalism thing…we should propose a law of Equal Opportunity for Pregnancy and require equal number of men be allowed to become pregnant and force women to stop becoming pregnant…get abortions if the percent of pregnant men falls 1% or more below the percent of pregnant women. Affirmative action for pregnant men! We want it all, too!
Rollo – FWIW, not jonesing on the new font type and size. Hard to read on a large monitor and doesn’t scale well for tablet use. (Samsung Galaxy SM-T800)
Very true post, Rollo. Women are generally consumed by an overarching need for security, due to their relative physical weakness (this is the source of their nearly constant projection of “insecurity” onto any male who irks them … it’s what they feel when they are being reactive to the environment, so they project it onto us). This, when coupled with hypergamy, leads to a needling sense of unhappiness because the optimal which is needed to assuage feelings of insecurity is unattainable for most, which leads to disappointment and unhappiness. In part this works well. Women being constantly dissatisfied isn’t terrible… Read more »
Men are a source of security for women whether financial, physical presence, or being an emotional rock /oak. It’s ironic that feminism tells women to provide their own security to be happy and to not need men or maybe that’s what they are afraid of – needing men.
@Pinelero: Well said…on women needing men
I don’t find the post puzzling. (I dont’ find many things in life puzzling. So it might just be me. No one annoys me more than when they start a statement by saying: “I don’t understand why…”) It is a little back and forth, but I find it a good follow up to the “Why?” of the last post. If Sentient is puzzled, it is the same reason for why Blax is puzzled by guys learning game. Because of their level. They (those two) are The New Set of Books 3.0 in inter-sexual Relationship Game. I’m coming around to understanding… Read more »
My woman is most happy when she is pre-occupied with trying to make me happy
“Beware of their destructiveness and mitigate your downside risk, but leave open the up-side benefits.”
Sorry, I said that inarticulately. I meant:
“A woman should only ever be a compliment to a Man’s life, never the focus of it.”
Great post and very relevant. It’s all about “frame control.” I can relate to this concept of “I’m not happy….” This is a very BPD characteristic. If a BPD is unhappy it’s YOUR fault. My crazy ex whom I’ve written about had always been super happy…until one day she wasn’t–a very BPD trait. I went from walking on water to not being able to do anything right. Some examples of constant shaming/frame snatching: “You don’t understand me…” “I need a guy who can take care of me…” “You’re so selfish…” “You should not make me go home on my own,… Read more »
Women’s problem – they find a way to be unhappy in every circumstance.
Men’s problem –
1. We look at the woman in the photo and think, woman, why don’t you just STFU and go away?
and at the same moment –
2. We look at the woman in the photo and think, hey, that’s a good looking woman.
It’s a perpetual motion machine.
Women derive a sense of self from their external environment. All she is is based on how others see her. This is why being alone for a female is a fate worse then death for them; at least dying nets a funeral. This is also why females change entire personalities when seeing a new guy.
Men derive theirs from internal accomplishment. In a society where men are shamed into accomplishing nothing and women are told to seek themselves from within, no one is going home happy.
Way back in the day I worked for a self improvement speaker who had a book out that was called, “Absolute Happiness”. His take was that our natural state was to be happy all of the time. He spoke to huge crowds which were predominantly made up of women. I was only in my early twenties at the time but it taught me a lot about how screwed up people are and the hoops they will jump through in pursuit of their delusions. There’s a common saying that goes, ‘happy wife, happy life’. Whenever a guy says this about his… Read more »
By observation and how they act, seems they are really only happy when they are young. Like senior high school, first few years of college. When they’re taking group selfies all over the place.
As long as there’s no tragic story they can tell to say how strong they were to come through it. Then they’re at their happiest later in life as a handful of celebrities like to use themselves as examples. But that’s also influenced by accruing whatever amounts of money from being a celebrity.
But overall, they’re happiness aligns well with your SMV chart.
And it also aligns with their how much of their lives is being financed by somebody else.
@Rollo: brilliant post. Aligns so much with my observation with wife, family etc. One of the things that makes my marriage a net negative in terms of value I derive from it is the constant negativity and unhaapppy state of my wife. Of course this is because I’m beta bucks at best, in LDR mode, and haven’t managed to turn it around in 1 solid year – now I’m progressively reaching a point where I just don’t care. I always thought “her happiness is her responsibility, not mine” even as BP, but now I see these important nuances. Kind of… Read more »
As for the choreplay angle and cheating, it is so obviously solipsism and the cheating women rewriting the story so that they don’t feel bad for doing it. Look at what they do and not what they say. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/11/15/women-cheat-on-men-who-dont-do-house-chores-french-survey-finds/ These women cheated because hypergamy doesn’t care, and hypergamy doesn’t care about the chores. The guys they cheated on where mostly betas or relatively betas, even if they didn’t do the chores (and more ridiculous, I’m pretty certain several of them actually did, but it didn’t matter because they didn’t do it just the way the woman wanted). The guys they… Read more »
One of the answers is that they never experienced real hardship. A spoiled brat remains a spoiled brat.
The green heron… enjoy her, and mind her. Bravo SJF. Happy hunting
@Scrib First off, thank you for your response to my earlier question. I don’t think you’re the wrong guy to ask because I can relate to a lot of the issues you went through. I was something of a bumbling natural myself, but saddled with so much BP thinking that I cringe now at all the missed opportunities. I’ve had success with women but lately my experience is the difference between having sufficient hand-eye coordination and youthful speed to get a cross-court lob back across the net, versus having a backhand that can make the other guy have to chase… Read more »
Literally what I suffered my mother’s fear that I would get kidnapped for no good reason
I was at a conference recently and noticed how many of the women have masculine features and traits. The ones with more masculine features/traits generally seemed to be the ones most upset by Trump being elected (this conference started the day after the election). The unhappiness is not limited to career women, though. When my daughter was on a summer swim team, I noticed how so many of the swim team mommies almost never smiled. Most of them either didn’t work or they worked at jobs that were just a means to an end (i.e., sparing no expense on little… Read more »
Definitely. Still find it mindboggling how all sense of proportion is lost regarding minor issues. Seems to affect females of all ages, which is bizarre considering the amount of hardship they see reported on television.
The default state of women is unhappy, because the default state of *everyone* is unhappy. The difference is that unhappy women are simultaneously desirous of a man to take care of things for them and to fix them for her, and (generally speaking) are risk adverse due to evolutionary pressures, so don’t seek out ways to better their condition themselves. Men, who’s default state is to be just as unhappy as women, are problem solvers and doers (generally speaking) so they seek to change their circumstances. Nothing is sadder, and more contemptible, than a man who has given up. It… Read more »
“Kind of wish I could show this article to my wife, but it wouldn’t really change anything.”
That’s because your might still be assuming she’s a logical being and not a child… but the “wouldn’t really change anything” part shows you’re starting to get it. The “wish” part shows the RP is still stuck in your throat.
I like this article – it’s reminiscent of the older articles in its stating of theme and development and encourages the reader to extrapolate to his own experience and situation. I much prefer this style rather than the ‘spinning off a posted comment’ type. It stands up for itself nicely.
“In an age of mass media and instantaneous communication (women’s domain)…” The money sentence of the whole piece IMO and explains so much of our current zeitgeist. Men forget this, but this IS the main detractor of happiness for men, and I would argue women as well. For women it just adds to their hamster wheel of insecurity. For men, it just pisses us off. I got off Facebook for this very reason. The virtue signaling was so malignant – men acting like women and women acting like men for “like” points and status. Regarding happiness in general, late stage… Read more »
The Old Women Of The Ocean – Poem by Pablo Neruda To the solemn sea the old women come With their shawls knotted around their necks With their fragile feet cracking. They sit down alone on the shore Without moving their eyes or their hands Without changing the clouds or the silence. The obscene sea breaks and claws Rushes downhill trumpeting Shakes its bull’s beard. The gentle old ladies seated As if in a transparent boat They look at the terrorist waves. Where will they go and where have they been? They come from every corner They come from our… Read more »
With chaste heart, and pure eyes I celebrate you, my beauty, restraining my blood so that the line surges and follows your contour, and you bed yourself in my verse, as in woodland, or wave-spume: earth’s perfume, sea’s music. Nakedly beautiful, whether it is your feet, arching at a primal touch of sound or breeze, or your ears, tiny spiral shells from the splendour of America’s oceans. Your breasts also, of equal fullness, overflowing with the living light and, yes, winged your eyelids of silken corn that disclose or enclose the deep twin landscapes of your eyes. The line of… Read more »
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-Tod1_tZdU I do not love you except because I love you; I go from loving to not loving you, From waiting to not waiting for you My heart moves from cold to fire. I love you only because it’s you the one I love; I hate you deeply, and hating you Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you Is that I do not see you but love you blindly. Maybe January light will consume My heart with its cruel Ray, stealing my key to true… Read more »
Dogs… looking at cats and wondering why they don’t chase cars… Happiness is a male construct. It is related to achievement, to conquering, often via extreme physical and violent measures. It’s the result of men fulfilling their biological destiny to overcome their environment and survive. Hence the victor (male) can “stand down” and rest and ENJOY the victory. A woman’s highest purpose is to have children and her biological success is based on a seed entering her body. That’s it. Sex (not necessarily reproduction, reproduction is an effect of procuring the seed). She does not need to climb Everest, storm… Read more »
Women treat men like they want to be treated
Men treat women like they want to be treated
Shit storm coming
A few years ago I came to a rather simple conclusion: women are not built to be happy. Last year I came to the conclusion that I had finally figured out what women want. It’s one word: MORE. The more changes depending on the phase of life that they’re in but it remains a constant in their lives because hypergamy doesn’t care. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise then women are more miserable than they’ve ever been. If they aren’t built to be happy and their own biology is constantly pestering them with more that’s bad but from… Read more »
It’s impossible objectively to measure happiness, especially female happiness. First, it’s a classic case of the subject changing its character upon observation: women are invested in having men perceive them as in need and that causes women to exaggerate their unhappiness and neediness in order to enlist the support of men. This issue may be discussed only via anecdotal observations. My observations are women are happier than most men: women live longer, they take on far less stress than men, they are relieved from having to do the dirty dangerous jobs, they work fewer hours, they have more leisure, they… Read more »
“In this case it is women who are largely misled by the equalist narrative.” My daily workplace of hundreds and hundreds is 70% women, mostly in mid-level and support staff. They are dissatisfied as their job incentive is financial, not personal. Rarely do women leave because of the wage. They leave because of personal issues and burn bridges. Since health care reform in 2010 I’ve asked dozens of female staff, randomly: If your job did not offer health coverage, would you work here? None, and I mean none, answered affirmatively. They work .5-1.0 FTE for family health coverage and/but not… Read more »
XD said: “Women derive a sense of self from their external environment. All she is is based on how others see her. This is why being alone for a female is a fate worse then death for them; at least dying nets a funeral. This is also why females change entire personalities when seeing a new guy. Men derive theirs from internal accomplishment. In a society where men are shamed into accomplishing nothing and women are told to seek themselves from within, no one is going home happy.” Excellent observation. Precisely on point to me now that I’m dating after… Read more »
about unhaaaaaaaaapy wimenz – this story here is so funny. look at the picture of Ivana Trump, Donalds first wife, now in her 60s: http://nypost.com/2016/11/13/ivana-trump-wants-to-be-an-ambassador-for-donald-trump/ Does she look happy? Hahaha… Just realize what she accomplished in her life: – married to Donald Trump, 1 (beautiful) daugther – divorced him 25 years ago, profit: 20 millionen dollars – lives “high society” lifestyle, beauty business crap products and stuff Now that her Donald will be president, this will eat her inside out – she could have been first lady. So whats her first idea? oh i could be “ambassador”, because at least… Read more »
The trouble is in how we are raising our men. My wife and I have already agreed that we will tell our son to marry a submissive girl whose mother didn’t get fat or just don’t get married. Honestly, men are the problem. We make the mistake of trying to keep her pleased so that she won’t cut us off in the bedroom that night. It doesn’t work. Making a habit of this behavior turns you into her underling. You become her pushed around, emasculated, little bitch. That is not how to generate attraction in a woman and it is… Read more »
@Rollo Increasingly women are coming to the conclusion that this pro-woman life plan has been nothing but feel-good advertising, and now, after having invested their most productive years in this narrative they find that they are largely unhappy with the results its brought into their lives. … Article after article and study after study show that women’s perceived happiness is at an all-time low since researchers have been collecting data on it. it’s really hard to optimize your hypergamy with a ‘settled for’ option…lol… if any…LOL… as i’ve pointed out before, ’emotions’ seem to be an encoded ‘problem-solving’ subroutine that… Read more »
@Jeremy – Breck Epic?
Commenter “A Man” said a lot in that one sentence. It has recently occurred to me that ‘giving women what they want’ is a 2-step process: 1) Don’t give a shit what she wants 2) Give her the opportunity to serve you/give you what you want @marquisdestate That makes sense. Women treat men like they want to be treated. So how they want to treated, then, is to be ruthlessly used and exploited in a purely utilitarian manner for as long as it ‘feels good’ for him to do so. That, uh…really can’t be dis-proven, in my experience. @Happilymarriedtoasubmissive Man,… Read more »
Again, hit the nail on the head here! I definitely agree that almost all women nowadays have no idea what makes them really happy. Only after several years of introspection and research have I come to a satisfying conclusion about what makes me, as a woman, happy. Like everyone else, I was brought up to be exactly like a man – women should be fierce go-getters in careers, relationships, and sex. This is just not true! I can truly say that I’ve been there and done that and women are NOT designed to sustain the same kind of drive and… Read more »
“what makes them happy (lots of sex partners, achievements, legacy?), and women should be free to do likewise.”
Likewise doesn’t make women happy. The ostensible benefit of lots of sex partners, achievements, legacy is the problem.
Or do you mean, “What makes us happy is a man who takes charge in the bedroom and out of it, who ‘takes us for a ride’ while making us feel safe.”, is a woman’s “likewise”?
Whoops sorry for the confusion! What I meant was that women should prioritise those activities which build our oxytocin levels (anything to do with achieving ‘closeness’ in any kind of relationship or friendship) over those which drain our measly testosterone reserves (actively pursuing things like sex, career, etc). I could be wrong, just throwing my hat into the ring from a girl’s perspective! Feel free to disagree 🙂
@Joe Cosign. Young women are frequently abrasive and opinionated and act like Entitled Princesses ™. Young single men are the group who suffer the most from these women. And most of these women are riding the cock carousel. Almost every single one has one or more fuckbuddies as well as a bf/husband. Herpes is rampant and you’ll see lots of women in their 20s with face breakouts from taking antibiotics to treat gonorrhea. Mateguarding themselves in the under-30 group of women? lolz I see these women in bars, at meetups, in the grocery store, etc. They lie about where they’re… Read more »
Clever girl. Excellent points.
Thank you! (oxytocin boost) 🙂
lol this has nothing to do with some latent defect of women. It’s a cultural defect. Pursuing “happiness” is juvenile and stupid and both men and women are guilty of it. And there are some women who are “strong” and “independent.” But it’s about maybe 1%. And those chicks are cool AF. Can’t wait to run into the next one. So I believe it’s a good goal for women to have. They just have a lot of competing narratives to deal with. “Strong and Independent” is unfortunately conflated with Sex and the City or insert-vapid-nonsense-media-here. And that’s a shame. Nothing… Read more »
Of course women are unhappier! Any woman who has an SMV of 5 and above is convinced that she is entitled to a top tier man. Why is that? The sexual revolution has allowed women to fuck around and they are stupid enough to believe that the men they can fuck are the same as the ones they can marry. Once they’ve had that alpha cock they are ruined for anything else. You think a semi cute 6 who has been pliers by male 8/9’s will ever be happy “settling” for a male 6 on her own level? She may… Read more »
“There are a lot of submissive women. Reddit, is full of them self-identifying as such . . .”
There are a lot of “supplements” that that can cure any and all of your ailments. The “health food” stores are full of them self-identifying as such.
@kfg: On the whole submissive women being on reddit…
Exactly!! That dude’s in for a surprise…
Women’s contempt for betas knows no bounds you are less than human to them, but they know they have to throw you a few scraps of affection/sex to keep you a willing cart horse.
women like betas. they just don’t strongly desire them.
@PUA guys – various responses below from the last thread – just sticking them in here: I’m taking on board all the advice and now I’m going to implement it over the next few days or it’s pointless. So I’ll be around the comments as usual but I won’t be posting any new FRs for a few days – *unless* I have something genuinely new/unusual to report – either progress, roadblock or interesting experience. But it benefits no one for me to put up another FR saying “And I spoke to some girls and had good reactions and IOIs but… Read more »
My wife found out I was reading this blog about a year ago. She discovered it because she was investigating why my attitude had suddenly changed. She read several of your columns. I found her reaction interesting to observe. Her reaction was fear. Since then, she actually tries to keep me from reading it by attempting to look over my shoulder when I’m reading from my smartphone. You might think that she would respond with introspection, curiosity, or self-awareness. That was not the case. It scared the daylights out of her that I was learning these things. This goes along,… Read more »
@Carlos, heheh, I once had a guy tell me about a similar situation with his wife. Her response was ‘yes, its all true, I can’t disagree with him, but,…you guys shouldn’t know this stuff!”
@Carlos – This has happened to me too. A woman in my life (gone now) flipped out when I revealed some RP truth to her; she actually told me, “You have no business knowing this stuff.” When I laughed in her face, she stalked out. Knowing that I KNOW and GET IT sent her into panic mode; we ended shortly after that. We were never supposed to get a peek behind the curtain where the sausage is made. All of this was designed to keep you blind to women’s nature and to accept all of the familiar platitudes as gospel… Read more »
Details not important – absolutely textbook, no LMR (why is it that girls always say you’re “staring” when lasering them?
read this in the third-person… and then tell me what i’m going to tell you…lol
@PUA gaggle Please confirm or dispute my analysis and suggestions to my buddy. I was an observer for my buddy when he was on a date. I made the girl “a little uncomfortable” because I was touching her a lot. Heard this through my buddy who was on a date with her and invited me along to observe her. Well, she was very abrasive and was directing barbs my way and engaging me a lot, so I decided to be obnoxious, which is a fun way to fight back. Within twenty minutes of meeting this girl (solid HB7), I had… Read more »
Maybe, someone can touch on this. I seem to notice women in groups seemingly happy. However, alone or with men is when I tend to see their sad state. Two symptoms of this is how they are so easily offended and obsessively want things to be perfect.
Culum (why is it that girls always say you’re “staring” when lasering them? FWIW I’ve never heard this… I’ve heard, what are you thinking? When are you going to kiss me? stuff like that. Never staring. Seems like a shit test. If I heard that I’d probably grab her head and go make out righ thten… with no smile… You are probably not close enough and not channeling enough desire. The desire is like a ray beam…. zaps them… get intense, not googly… http://wemanagelegends.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/4c04f95d47cf72221bf6a06a10c4d8ee_large.jpeg You are in the kill zone with the laser… like “do not fuck around with me… Read more »
and if you nail a fat bottomed girl once or twice… no big deal… just get the feelings imprinted…
PS – this is one of those songs… and the BEST karaoke song ever made (get them up on stage and spank those bottoms)
“When are you going to kiss me?”
When I’ve decided I want to.
@ Carlos Millady is pushing past some of her insecurities about us too. The last month saw lots-o-tears. She isn’t as honest with herself as Rollo’s example, and there’s no point in me lecturing her about RP reality. Demonstrate, not explicate. She’s learning, conforming with RP now, as I type, and is much, much better a person for it (I, too). She’s much more deferential and polite, less argumentative. I hear her talking to herself occasionally (when she doesn’t know I’m within earshot) about how she needs to stay steady, kinda auto-soothing her insecurities. This is new. She doesn’t ask… Read more »
Seems like a shit test.
hmmmmm [channeling kfg…]… ‘there ya go!…’
whoops!… i mis-read…lol…
@HABD – LOL.
@Sentient – yes, I think I wasn’t close enough. Not just this time, but before. In fact I think YaReally pointed this out to me a few months ago that it’s not just the lasering, it’s the cutting distance that’s also important. Still worked this time but definitely to keep in mind.
(And listening to Fat Bottomed Girls right now..)
The “kiss to destroy shit test” FR from CH…
Also you may benefit from this… re laser…
But just the first 2:40!
@Zoe, oxytocin only engenders empathy among and for women, not for men:
Dark Side of Oxytocin
@Softek, Replying to your comment on the previous article (apologies to others for going off topic on this post): I did see some of this debate, which I notice got a little acrimonious at times, which it really shouldn’t have, because I think most commenting on here, are doing so from a good a place, i.e. with the object of helping men not get messed about in their dealings with women. It seemed to me there were two, maybe three, schools of thought in that argument. The first argument was, and I’m paraphrasing “Don’t bother with marriage, or monogamous relationship,… Read more »
@ scray Agreed women love betas for their utility and validation. They also need betas to maintain the sewers and do the shitty jobs that keeps their comfortable society running. Women “love betas” in a settled for marriage scenario? Not so much. And that’s what I was talking about, 80% plus of women “settle” Im marriage as there aren’t enough alphas to go round. This makes them desperately unhappy as they see it as personal failure (wich it is) they know it , their friends know it and they hate that they weren’t good enough to snag an alpha for… Read more »
I too am doubtful about that French survey, and agree the stated lack-of-doing-chores as a reason to cheat is a post-truth 20-20 hindsight justification for cucking already in progress.
If I remember right that Daily Mail columnistress who first touted choreplay as a tingles tingler
revised her view to say she thought women found it sexy when men did MANLY chores like home repair, car stuff, wood chopping, lawn mowing etc. Washing dishes not so much.
“Even in a state of indifference, a woman’s conditioned expectation from men will always originate from a preconception of disappointment. The worst case scenario is what is subconsciously planned for to the point that, even a man whom a woman loves and trusts, a woman’s first expectation from him is failure.” With more women in the workforce than ever before, many of them unmarried, working 40+ hour weeks, plus weekends, and in some cases out-earning their male counterparts in certain fields, and a growing percentage of married women becoming the designated financial “head of household” earning more than their husbands,… Read more »
Check this scene out from 7M to about 12M… this is the kind of vibe I am out projecting in the lounges… see how the mundane convo is sexualized with lasers and kino and a non needy frame…
I need to write essay for my course “Defining Feminism: A Comparative Historical “using the article https://essmart.org/comparative-essay/ I liked your view but but most of all i like comments which I want to use as the basic theses in my essay
“Check this scene out from 7M to about 12M… “
That was by far my favorite scene in the movie.
@Olivia, be my guest. But be sure you post a link to what you write once you do.
@J.A.F.Y.K. There are definitely some women happiest among other women and less happy among men. But trust me when I say that women are masterful disguise artists as well. As men we see a group of women cackling and snorting together with glee in a cafe or restaurant. We think to ourselves “gosh, they seem to be having a good bit of fun with one another.” And it’s true. Some of them are. But never underestimate the level of jealousy, grudges, vindictiveness, backhanded remarks, manipulation and exclusionary tactics going on between them under the surface of their seemingly jovial interactions… Read more »
Interesting how this all works. HB9 got all hormonal and out of line a little bit, but by this morning apologized without me asking her to. Like this almost has never happened to me. Being high value has its advantages…First step was me realizing it was her mood, and not taking it that seriously and withdrawing. I escalated a touch and then realized the mistake. This article is interesting. If you correlate the reduction in female happiness with the delayed and lower marriage rates since 1970, and the divorce rates it’s as though marriage and happiness are correlated for women,… Read more »
@play Agreed women love betas for their utility and validation. They also need betas to maintain the sewers and do the shitty jobs that keeps their comfortable society running. nope. Women love betas for having kids and raising families. That’s why beta describes a reproduction/mating strategy. And if that strategy didn’t work, well, it wouldn’t still be around. And let’s be even more honest: it’s the dominant mating strategy. This makes them desperately unhappy as they see it as personal failure (wich it is) they know it , their friends know it and they hate that they weren’t good enough… Read more »
@Rollo thanks for the comment, I was aware of the first study which is very interesting – I think it’s certainly true that in that context and in similar contexts, women perceive women as more vulnerable than men and in need of compassion. However, I think the study has two blind spots: the amount of compassion women show towards men in this context isn’t zero, whatever the average level was just wasn’t affected by administering the synthetic drug. It’s not that women have no compassion at all towards men, it’s that already existing subconscious gender biases about vulnerability are enhanced… Read more »
I’ve come to the conclusion that every woman who participates on the TPP “debate” sub is there to either affirm or justify their love-life decisions or to use it as an online dating profile for the RP guys who post. No debate, just OT rage whenever something challenges that affirmation.
Fyi, divorce always declines in times of economic scarcity…Funny that. It’s really true, they are all whores at some basic level, even if they haven’t been “turned out” yet.
Much of the decrease in divorce is couples not marrying, thus obviating the divorce. More middle class acting lower class.
” Do field reports. Repeat. Do field reports. Guys here will give you mad insights.” In theory, I completely agree. In practice, I don’t yet have the discipline to do this regularly. It goes beyond getting input from others. You benefit from writing a field report regardless of whether you post it for others to provide input or not. Writing up a field report forces you to organize the events in your head, and you can often experience new insights from the same approach merely by replaying it in your head so as to commit it to “paper.” Otherwise, you… Read more »
@ scray ” nope they love betas for having kids and raising families” . Nope only as a last resort. Choice 1. Have alphas kids, get alpha to commit and help raise them. Choice 2. Have alphas kids but can’t get him to commit so get a beta to help raise the kids of the alphas successful mating. Choice 3 . Can’t even get an alpha to get me pregnant, so I’ll have to allow a beta to do it I can always divorce him for cash and prizes later. Doesn’t sound like the dominant mating strategy to me. So… Read more »
Women’s problem – they find a way to be unhappy in every circumstance.
Yep. Rollo’s OP is a most excellent discourse on this.
Men’s problem –
1. We look at the woman in the photo and think, woman, why don’t you just STFU and go away?
and at the same moment –
2. We look at the woman in the photo and think, hey, that’s a good looking woman.
3. Woman, you need a spanking. For a start….
It’s a perpetual motion machine.
It can be. But doesn’t have to be.
Quickly walking, “GGGR style” through immense, vaulted building entryway. Spied 18-20 y.o. brunette (with mom leading), HB ~7 (maybe, I was moving fast) she peeked, I lazed at 50″, she smiled, tracked me and sexy-lip bite. Yes! This stuff is effective.
@J.A.F.Y.K Constrainedlocus is right about the behavior of women-in-groups-of-women. It is an evolved tactic. And thank God (maybe) that Hillary didn’t get elected to try to disguise USA’s in-group malice and out-group altruism (which is an anti-tribal tactic when a alleged tribe gets too big in size.) with her rhetoric. Here is an ancient manosphere article about the goals of women in groups Oprah style. From Jack Donovan on the old The Spearhead blog: https://web.archive.org/web/20100706035431/http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/11/01/oprahs-nation A good friend who works in the education industry, long dominated by women, once told me that working with women was like being part of… Read more »
Haven’t got to this thread yet, but I have to say the last thread actually turned out to be quite good near the end there. Maybe Sun Wukong put the fear of God into y’all. Not bad for an atheist. A lot of our discussions recently are basically revolving around ‘are there novel emergent characteristics that emerge past a certain degree of ‘game’?’ Basically, a lot of the OMG’s and more experienced naturals say there’s crazy things that happen at a certain level, but have difficulty explaining it in a way that makes sense to people who haven’t experienced it.… Read more »
thanks for the update re: Joe the cop in the last thread; good to hear.
I’ve come to the conclusion that every woman who participates on the TPP “debate” sub is there to either affirm or justify their love-life decisions or to use it as an online dating profile for the RP guys who post.
Well, the purple pill subreddit would seem to be the perfect place for those actions.
So not a surprise.
Palleon Writing up a field report forces you to organize the events in your head, and you can often experience new insights from the same approach merely by replaying it in your head so as to commit it to “paper.” Those new insights in turn get wired lightly into the perceptions, this will after a while make it possible to learn to read people / situations better, first in retrospect, then in real time. Look how many men here have gone from “I think I saw an IOI” to “man, getting IOI’s all over the place now”. That’s just seeing… Read more »
Forge In other news, I’m hitting some crazy new state threshold some days now. Not quite sure what it is, but some days all the girls at work etc. start fighting for my attention, and some of the girls I never got much interest from before are giving me serious fuck-me vibes. Then other days I’m back to ‘able to get positive attention from a girl if I pay attention to her first.’ Do you notice this happening at some kind of regular interval, like maybe every 28 days or so? That synchronization isn’t a myth. Also you should by… Read more »
Finally, @HABD from the last thread: “what do you think about that link’s info?… (what pops into your head when i say that?…)” Musical frisson is an interesting thing to study, but I think they’re barking up the wrong tree. They got fairly weak results, and the strong-ish results they got give a kinda circular answer to the question of what traits lead to frisson. The only productive thing I can draw from it is that high levels of ‘state’ come about from strong focus and interest. Basically, state begets state. —- When I think about it a bit more,… Read more »
I definitely see a spike of interest on a monthly basis with one or two of these girls, but this is the first time I’ve seen it being more collective like this.
And yes, it’s totally ‘good state’ days that’s doing it; it’s just a higher level of state than I’ve been able to bring before so I’m observing how that improvement changes the dynamics. At times it seems like, at certain intervals of improvement, the qualitative nature of the game changes. Which is something @Sentient in particular has been trying to prepare me for.
Onward and upward!