Sexual Fluidity

As loathe as I am about doing so, I’m forced to refer today’s post topic to Oprah.com’s essays on Sexual Fluidity. I wont do this often as Oprah is the crowned queen of feminine matrix-think. However, these articles outline a what I see as the nascent development of a new feminine social convention – sexual fluidity is the newly developing rational for late-life sexual and gender dissatisfaction for post-wall ‘New Women’ . I’ve already touched on how feminine social conventions and their latent purposes effect inter-gender relations in a few prior posts, and I have forthcoming posts dedicated to better outlining established social conventions and their functions, but I think this newly developing convention may be a great starting point in understanding how they evolve.

The most recent post over at Heartiste / Roissy’s (?) site enumerating the post-wall woes of Sinead O’Conner reminded me of an interesting phenomenon that has been gathering popular cultural awareness now for almost 4 years – the newly accepted convention of sexual fluidity. Quoting Sinead O’Conner here:

And further posts [from Sinead] brought more. Prospective lovers can be lesbian; may even, she conceded, be christened Brian or Nigel; but anal sex is non-negotiable.

As distracting as it is let’s ignore the anal sex reference for now, we’ll return to it later. Here we have an illustration of an otherwise heterosexual woman petitioning the general public for a sexual partner. Male or female, the gender is irrelevant to her, all that matters now is her sexual gratification. What we observe here is an example of what cognitive (see, touchy-feely) psychologists are terming sexual fluidity. This new concept revolves around the idea that a person’s sexuality can turn on a dime; it is essentially fluid and can change throughout a person’s lifetime and in accord with one’s conditions.

I don’t necessarily disagree with the psychology of this per se, only how popular, feminized, culture is conveniently turning this idea to the purposes of its own imperatives. Heterosexual male prison inmates can and often do resort to homosexuality during their incarceration and return to heterosexuality upon their release. This is in effect a sexually fluid response to solving a sexual release imperative under the conditions of being sequestered in a same sex environment for a long period of time. The conditions dictate the response.

Feminized culture has embraced sexual fluidity, but has rejected the underlying reasons for it. As a new social convention, sexual fluidity becomes less about conditions and more about the individual for women. For the post-wall, aging spinster, the concept of sexual fluidity is a godsend. As a rationale for her lackluster personal life it becomes a salve for her ego – homosexuality becomes a realizable, socially acceptable option. The true reason for her long term unhappiness is that she was, in actuality, an unacknowledged lesbian for all these years. And naturally, for all women, there is a wide base of emotional support from the sisterhood ready to embrace and accept the ‘real’ her. The necessity of accepting homosexuality as her only, conditional, sexual option becomes a new virtue to be proud of in Oprah-world. Never is there a mention that the choices she’s made in life had any bearing on her present condition, nor is there any doubt that the measures she’s now forced to resort to were dictated by those choices.

Now, before I get too far along on the anti-femme-train I want to point out that much of the reasons for constructing a social convention such as this have a lot more to do with the conflict between social conditions and our innate biomechanics. If you read through the article Why Women are Leaving Men for Other Women, you can’t help but notice the commonalities of the testimonies coming from otherwise feminine women being attracted to more dominant, masculine women. Often these come from long married-with-children women who’ve divorced their beta husbands in favor of a more dominant, butch, Alpha lesbian.

Ironically—or not, as some might argue—it is certain “masculine” qualities that draw many straight-labeled women to female partners; that, in combination with emotional connection, intimacy, and intensity.

“Men can’t understand why I want to be with Jack, a lesbian, when I could be with a biological man,” says Gomez-Barris. “And at first I thought it would be threatening, but I have a rebellious spirit. He’s powerful, accomplished, and appealing. And in some ways, the experience is better than in heterosexual sex.

So what are we seeing here? Heterosexual women, still crave the masculine dominance that men cannot or will not provide her. Thus, we see condition dictate response. Kind of explains Sinead O’Conner’s exceptionalism for lesbian anal sex now doesn’t it?

In 2004, after earning her master’s degree in counseling at Loyola University New Orleans, (Bridget) Falcon met April Villa, now 34, who works as a civil engineer for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. “April is a beautiful, feminine woman,” says Falcon, “yet she’s so much like a guy, analytical but not overly introspective, and, just like my dad, she likes to build things and can fix anything.”

What are the commonalities we see in each of these? Past-prime, mostly well educated women, each dissatisfied with an inability to attract and marry “powerful, accomplished, and appealing” men who attempted to ‘have it all’ by starting families with the only betas they could attract. Later in life they grow even more uncomfortable with the proposition of spending their remaining years with the herb they married and so opt out of the marriage for the growingly more accepted idea of “sexually flowing” into a homosexual relationship with a woman who qualifies as powerful, accomplished, and appealing, ergo traditionally masculine, that her former husband did not.

The advent of embracing sexual fluidity in women is an attempt by feminized culture to put a bandaid on a lingering problem. As western feminized culture progresses onward from the late 60s, more and more women are awakening to the disillusionment that the choice they made to participate as an ‘equal’ in a masculine world required sacrifices of her femininity. Sacrifices that most come to regret later in life. Between 35 and 45 women are increasingly feeling the repercussions of their attempts to ‘have it all’ or have HAD it all, yet are left wondering why they’re not satisfied in sublimating their expectations – betraying their uniquely female biomechanics – to play the role of the New Woman.

That consensus is growing, even in Oprah-world, so what to do? What feminism has always done, move the goalposts and redefine the game. Men, for any variety of shameful reasonings, are cast as incapable of living up to the standards of being powerful, accomplished, and appealing, but even if you regret having married one, and possibly brought children into the world, you can still have a second chance at ‘having it all’ thanks to sexual fluidity. It’s not him, it’s the undiscovered homosexual you that’s been repressed all this time. Never mind that those infantile men are too preoccupied with youthful sexuality to appreciate your post-wall physique, there’s a world of lesbian women out there ready to deliver on the promise of powerful, accomplished, and appealing masculinity that your man is incapable of. It’s not that neo-feminism was wrong in promising you a satisfying life, it’s just that you were really a lesbian all this time and either didn’t know it, or were a victim of the Patriarchy and were repressed from it.

The newest feminine social convention, sexual fluidity, simply attempts to patch one of the many the holes that’s sinking the New Woman’s ship. Feminized culture needs a reason for the masculine disappointment it’s systematically acculturated into society for the past 50 years.


44 responses to “Sexual Fluidity

  • Aaron

    Really enjoying the blog so far, been reading it all, but I think this post should have cut to the chase a little faster.

    “The newest feminine social convention, sexual fluidity, simply attempts to patch one of the many the holes that’s sinking the New Woman’s ship. Feminized culture needs a reason for the masculine disappointment it’s systematically acculturated into society for the past 50 years.”

    Bam. Would have liked to see this introduced better and some of the wall-o-text eliminated. Good stuff though.

  • Neecy

    Rollo,
    I am not sure why men are so bothered by women in 30’s an 40’s choosing this way for themselves? I just don’t understand the pre-occupation with “old” women who do this. In fact, if young women are the only desirables to most men why even care about what old, past the prime women are doing?

    The fact is, they are making the most of their situations as would ANY human being. I find it hypocritical for men to focus on past prime women (who they don’t even want themselves) and hammer us for choosing a certain lifestyle for ourselves while its perfectly ok for older men to do what they need to do to get laid.

    I don’t understand this obsession with poking and prodding and talking down about women in 30’s and 40’s who are choosing the best life for themselves.

    Plainly put, women in 30’s and 40’s still have sexual desires. If they are not married or in LTR’s (b/c men are obsessed with only committing to young fertile women) then should they simply life the rest of their lives in celibacy just so men won’t talk about them? Would you like for feminist women to tell old guys past their primes to stop chasing young women for sex b/c they are delusional?

    I agree women past a certain age need to keep it in perspective and stop acting like they are still in their prime. I also agree that how Sinead went about proclaiming her sexual needs was tacky and tasteless. But the reality is women LIKE MEN past their prime still do have sexual needs. After a certain point women will not be able to get them met.

    So while in 30’s and 40s and still reasonably attractive many women choose this route and have other things in their lives to help with the emotional fulfillment that may come from LTR’s, marriage or kids. I don’t understand the obsession for making women past the prime who many of you claim to not want anyway feel like shit for making the best of their situation.

    WE HAVE SEXUAL NEEDS JUST LIKE MEN OUR AGE AND OLDER. And we have a right to seek to fulfill that without being demonized for it.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    The point of bringing this to light was less about confronting the actual physical needs of past-prime women and more about the engineering of a social convention.

    I have no doubt that men or women will consciously or subconsciously do what their conditions dictate, however what I’m getting at here is the social/psychological constructs used to put younger women into positions that set them up for disappointment later in life – and then conveniently excuse it with freshly manufactured social conventions once the fallacies come to light. The definition of “fulfillment” is being written (and deliberately rewritten) by a feminized mindset that sets them up for disappointment.

  • Marellus

    Rollo.

    Will this phenomenon increase then ?

    And whatever else can be said, it all comes down to sex. After a while the gender specific perspective on sex, how men and women see sex, tends to converge when sex is absent.

    And that convergence is essentially a loss of perspective, in that reckless irreverent pursuit of the next, non-masturbatory, orgasm …

  • Rollo Tomassi

    You’ll have to forgive me. If I’m not succinct it’s usually because I think it’s necessary to show my thought process in coming to a perspective. While one short paragraph might be enough to sum the idea up for you, I assure you it wont be for the first rabid feminist to accuse me of making half-baked sweeping generalizations.

  • Neecy

    what I’m getting at here is the social/psychological constructs used to put younger women into positions that set them up for disappointment later in life – and then conveniently excuse it with freshly manufactured social conventions once the fallacies come to light.

    Rollo I agree on this to a degree. Younger women need to be made aware that making bad choices early in their prime will result in having to make non ideal choices later in life. I also am disgusted by feminist culture and how it tells and encourages young women waste their youth and bargain their beauty with sleeping around “like the guys” and being promiscuous without consequence.

    It seems most men (not you, you seem very genuine and levelheaded compared to most) just simply want women to suffer for making bad or shallow choices earlier in their lives. As if men don’t also make bad or shallow choices and should not suffer later in life for it. In fact men are forgiven for making bad choices and given the “rights” to start over. But older women past their prime trying to do just that are criticized.

    The definition of “fulfillment” is being written (and deliberately rewritten) by a feminized mindset that sets them up for disappointment.

    But what are these women supposed to do at this point in their lives? Lay down, die and kill themselves? Sit and pluck a four leaf clover praying for some Hot Alpha to come and marry and procreate with them? The odds of that are NULL. But there are better odds for them finding sexual fulfillment and seeking other ways to fill the emotional needs outside of being in a relationship with a male.

    Should they be setting up constructs that tell women after 30 to kill themselves b/c the rest of their life is worthless b/c of the bad choices they made? The way i see it is they are basically being realistic about their situations. I am not sure what some males who criticize these women want them to do. If these men criticizing aren’t willing to marry, date or sleep with them, then why such harshness towards these women and their journeys? They can’t turn back the hand of time and change anything. So they are moving forward the best way they can.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    Touchy touchy Neecy. Don’t shoot the messenger. Rollo simply pointed out a cause and effect relationship.

    ME on the other hand…..I get a smug sense of satisfaction in seeing the final consequences of women making poor choices in life.

    Like it or not, a woman’s capital peaks when she is in her early 20’s and gradually declines thereafter, whereas a man’s sexual capital generally peaks in his late 30’s and can remain high for many years depending upon his social status.

    A woman who squanders her sexual capital is akin to a man who squanders his financial capital. I don’t feel any more compassion for a man who chooses to spend himself into a cardboard box than a woman who chooses to spend herself into sexual obscurity.

    I am getting ready to turn 40 in a few months. It would be nice to have had the opportunity to have had a family at some point along the way but in retrospect I made the right decision to avoid the potential pitfalls of playing house with an American woman.

    I’ve banged the gamut. 32 year old career grrrrls who are ready to pounce on the first guy who is willing to overlook their checkered past. 21 year old “good” girls who would have been more than willing to accept my marriage proposal, who ended up cheating on me when I didn’t produce the rock. Early 20’s college students who are still “finding” themselves. Coke sluts who didn’t care what anyone thought about them. The 40 year old cougar who has probably screwed more men than you could comfortably fit on a naval destroyer.

    Why would I want to settle down and have a family with any of these girls? They were free to make their choices and I am free to reject them. Why wouldn’t I have a laugh at a woman who has to turn gay because she wanted nothing to do with me ten years ago and I want nothing to do with her today? Poetic justice.

    It must really suck for these women. As a 40 year old man I have some pretty appealing choices. I can stick around here and have as much sex as I am willing to bother putting the effort into getting, or I can get on a plane and travel to South America, Eastern Europe or Asia to find a young woman who grew up in a society where women do not squander their sexual capital in an attempt to “live the good life” like us men.

    It isn’t going to do much good to open up the eyes of a bunch of 40 something spinsters who will never have grandchildren to pass these lessons to, but hopefully in the future the younger generation will start to realize the error of their ways before it is too late.

  • Neecy

    “It isn’t going to do much good to open up the eyes of a bunch of 40 something spinsters who will never have grandchildren to pass these lessons to, but hopefully in the future the younger generation will start to realize the error of their ways before it is too late.”

    I understand this but then why not focus the message on younger women wasting their youth and beauty instead of berating the past prime women who have moved on with their lives? It just comes off as bitter when men focus on women they don’t even want instead of directing their attentions to the ones they want. Most past prime women have already accepted their life and are settling in it. Its men who are bitter and needing to constantly drag them through the mud who keep this going.

    If men want young women in their prime, then do what you need to do to get them and leave past prime women, and what they are doing out if it!

    I cannot argue that its sad when a young woman squanders her beauty and youth being a hoe and treating the good guys like dirt. This message needs to be made clear to young women. But its not going to successfully reach the intended audience by using past prime women as the punching bag. All it will do is make men look like they have their typical double standards with age and are bitter. And all these feminist women are going to do is come back with bigger venom instead of turning things around and teaching young women a different way.

    So targeting past prime women and mocking them will not get men anywhere in the long haul – just going to create more tension and more past prime women creating more articles on their great lives and encouraging younger women to take that route.

    Time would be better spent teaching younger women how to appreciate their beauty & youth and good men as opposed to using the lifestyles of women past their primes as a punching bag to get this message across.

  • Mike C

    Great to see you blogging. I remember reading your comments on sosuave years ago when I first discovered all this stuff. I hope you’ll do some stuff on LTR type game. I think my relationship with my GF has the right frame, but there is always room for improvement.

  • Mike C

    Stick to your style. Your in-depth articulation is something I’ve always found valuable in your comments. You are the deep thinking guy’s guide to this area. Sometimes, something cooking slowly in the crockpot for hours tastes much better then something fried up in 2 minutes. There is plenty of fast-food commentary out there on these issues.

  • Mike C

    Schadenfreude is human nature.

  • YOHAMI

    Good stuff man. Subscribed.

  • theprivateman

    Rollo makes a blog.

    About time.

  • whiteboykrispy

    Finally.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    Point taken, but men have every right to gloat. As far as I am concerned my life has been permanently affected by the decisions of women. I had little choice because women are the gatekeepers of sex and I have been stuck in this culture since I was born. If things had been different I would probably have followed in my father and grandfathers and great grandfathers footsteps and settled down long ago. Luckily I was smart enough to have been able to see that this could have easily been a raw deal for me so I chose to remain “single” my entire life.

    I don’t have the time,energy or desire to change American society as we know it so I won’t be educating anyone. Older women need to be punished for their poor decisions and this will come in the form of sexually irrelevancy.

    And you are wrong about what might happen if we start using past prime women as punching bags. Half of the problems we are dealing with today have to do with PC feminized culture making it improper to shame poor behavior. Sluts, cougar and single moms SHOULD be shamed. When society controls women’s base impulses it makes for a better world.

  • Theophilus

    I agree with Mike C. The reasoning is important, and you do it well. Don’t ever change.

  • Rollo Tomassi

    Honestly, I fail to see how revealing this dynamic is in any way gloating or how I’ve used any woman as a punching bag. If anything, my intent is to provide perspective so both men and women can avoid the pitfalls of social constructs they’re unaware of.

    I’m not waving some banner of masculist triumphalism, I’m providing a warning sign. That said, I have to admit I’m not surprised that you took this as some sort of gender based attack. For a very long time now feminization in society has fostered an intense ego-investment in the ideology, to the point that exposing it’s failures becomes associated with an attack on the individual subscribing to the ideology.

    My intent was never to unqualifiably say post prime women are bad people, undeserving of love, but rather to say, “you’ve been had” and here’s why.

  • tw

    This article suggests a few things.

    1. Women want that manly dominance.
    2. Women will “flip” to obtain their sexual needs.
    3. They will find a rationale to praise it, accept it, and tout it on the high alter of Oprah.

    Really, this is not much different then a bunch of women in a group reaffirming one another about their deepest feelings and lack of needs — the truth for women are, if you are so dead-set on being an independent and “strong” careerswoman, be prepared for chump-land — because you will inadvertently try and dominate every male that comes along your path — and those you cannot dominate, you will repel — and suddenly you’ll wonder why men are so “weak” and why you can’t find the right “one” and then you’ll rationalized next maybe you’re a lesbian…

    These oprah-minded women need to understand that the feminine power motive is debasing to themselves — because in some ways it does create a Woman vs. MAN world — and this will inherently skew their biomechanics of the “natural way” of things. They themselves are creating the atmosphere to their own dissatisfaction, and breeding it in their psychologies.

  • Neecy

    Rollo,

    I am not really speaking about your post. You seemed to have approached it from a levelheaded realistic standpoint without the name calling and cruelty. Forgive me if I am venting my frustrations here, but you did cover the topic and I knew I would be able to get some sense from you on why men focus on this with past prime women.

    But let’s face it there are blogs and men who relish in this activity to the point it comes off as gloating, bashing and being bitter (which is certainly not Alpha like behavior IMO). So I say to these men, why are you so focused on these women who most likely aren’t focused on you? If young women are your target, then that should be it.

    I understand that this issue needs to be addressed socially b/c I firmly believe that lack of marriages and stable family units for children create a not so nice society. And I fully agree that young women need to be aware and given the OPTION of making better choices. If some choose the single route into their later years FINE, as long as they know what they are up against. The fact is women should be able to make CONSCIOUS choices without getting half the story – and you are right, Feminism only gives women HALF the story and not the big picture.

  • Neecy

    @ GLC

    Point taken, but men have every right to gloat. As far as I am concerned my life has been permanently affected by the decisions of women.

    *YOU* are in control of your life – not women. How can a woman affect your life? Have you taken account of the things you did or didn’t do as to why you haven’t achieved what you wanted in a relationship?

    *YOU* are in control of your life – not women. How can a woman affect your life? Have you taken account of the things you did or didn’t do as to why you haven’t achieved what you wanted in a relationship? What kinds of women were you going after? You mentioned you screwed around with coke whores, college students and women who were 21 and cheated on you.

    Well don’t be surprised if coke whores, college girls (who are not looking to jump into marriage with a 40 something year old) and 21 year olds don’t want to get married and start families at this point in their lives. This isn’t the 1950’s and a lot of men in the marrying ages (35 and up) want super young women in their early 20’s as wives and mothers of their kids. Whether this is logical or not, ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN these days in great numbers. Just won’t. This is a different day.

    Women are not marrying as young anymore. They want to go to college and get education and then later on get married and have kids (usually mid/late 20’s and early 30’s – which is STILL YOUNG). Yes most women don’t even consider marriage until their mid to late 20’s. But for some of you that is simply “too damn old”. Well, then yes you are going to run into issues trying to wife and baby up an 18-23 year old. Sleeping with them and having brief sexual relationships won’t be a problem, but trying to settle down with an attractive 18-23 year old these days for a man in his late 30’s and 40’s is asking for trouble. These girls will most likely cheat on you with other young guys while sucking up your resources. THAT’s the reality many men don’t want to face.

    SO you talk down about women in their 30’s like they are road kill and useless and continue to moan about how superior super young women are (in where the last thing on their minds is marriage and kids at their ages) then wonder why you can’t get what you want in a relationship? A lot of times men get stuck on what they feel they deserve and when they don’t get it, its women’s fault and they take it out on the easy targets – the women they don’t like instead of the women they want. The same can be applied to women who blame men for the downfalls in their relationships and lives.

  • Beta Game «

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  • Deep Dish

    Roissy said, “I do wonder, though, if the Chateau message is starting to infiltrate the borg collective; if perhaps a great cougar awakening is upon us. An aging single mom writes a blog honestly appraising her low SMV and the Darwinian brutality of the dating market for women like herself.” And I’ve heard a few others remark the same, of an awakening to the reality of their broken unfulfilled promises. But really, will there ever be a real awakening? Women can just keep on moving those goalposts.

  • samseau

    I think you can improve, as there’s always room for improvement.

    Just present your conclusions FIRST, then follow with the reasoning. That way all parties are satisfied: the ones who value succinctness post will have it, and those who want more explanation will also.

  • Neecy

    Rollo,

    I am not trying to dictate to men what they should like as a woman. I am way beyond that and its completely pointless b/c people like what they like. But there are some things that make sense and things that don’t and other things that don’t typically work. I believe the definition of insanity is when one does the same thing over and over and expects a different result. When people start blaming others for why they haven’t succeeded its b/c they lack the ability or refuse to see the forest for the tree in their eye. No one said reality and acknowledging your own mistakes was a pretty picture to look at. But when people lose sight of reality and start blaming others, then I think it should be duly noted why they are running into the issues they are.

  • detinennui32

    agree with Rollo. And stated another way, many young women follow in the footsteps of older women. If younger women suddenly “discover” their “latent lesbianism” in their 40s, that will bust up a lot of marriages and LTRs.

    It’s a social construct that women can fall into, in large part because of the female herd mentality. If you ask a lot of women why they do what they do and why they date how they do, many of the answers you get fall along the lines of “Because that’s what my friends/family/cousins/sisters/coworkers do.”

  • detinennui32

    “My intent was never to unqualifiably say post prime women are bad people, undeserving of love, but rather to say, “you’ve been had” and here’s why.”

    Cosign. Add to that, I would say to these ladies: “Actions and decisions have consequences. The consequences of your decisions are spinsterhood, cougardom, loneliness, status as washed up, used up and middle aged lonely has beens, no genetic legacy, and having no sexual options other than pump & dump.

    You have made your collective beds. Now you will have to lie in them.”

    It’s not gloating. It’s holding up these women as a cautionary tale to the younger ones, and telling the older women that they must now live out the choices they made.

  • Neecy

    Ok yes that makes sense. But is there really that many courgarish women out there? or are these women the results of early marriages that failed b/c they weren’t ready and now they have matured they find they aren’t compatible as they were years ago? I have a co worker who is really not that great looking and even chubby whose in her 30’s and has 2 kids with her hubby. The husband is a great guy engineer and not too bad looking. He’s a lot more reserved than she is and she often complains how “boring” he is. Then one day she asked me if it would be wrong if she cheated on him? wTF I thought to myself. Meanwhile at work events she is making out with other women and guys. I just think there are people who jump into marriage to early and don’t realize until later that it was worth working through than ruining a good thing. These women are fools and should b used as examples.
    Mm

  • Good Luck Chuck

    How can women control my life? If women are 50% of the mating equation and I was born into a society that has been polluting with the toxic feminist ideology since before I was born (which makes it difficult/dangerous to have a family with, and I happen to WANT a family), that means women do indeed have a lot of control.

    “Thing aren’t the way they used to be”…..that’s the whole point. Women today don’t want to get married and have a family until they are in their 30’s? Fine by me, but I don’t have to buy those damaged goods. And the mild amusement that comes from seeing these women having to turn to cats and homosexuality as a result of their poor decisions that have effected my life is more than justified.

  • Neecy

    Chuck is mid to late 20’s too old? This seems to be the target ideal age many women desire marriage if u say mid 20’s to late 20s is too old then herein lies the problem.

  • carolyn

    it’s funny, really, to think that ‘butch’ lesbians are better at masculinity than the genuine article. that whole butch-femme thing seemed so weird and retrograde to me (and the more pc factions of the lesbian community) before but now it all makes sense. those bulldykes were onto something.

    who knew?

  • Good Luck Chuck

    You are missing the point. There is no magical age when a woman is too old. The upper limit can increase if a woman is feminine, takes care of herself and doesn’t slut it up in her younger years.

  • Neecy

    GLC wrote:
    You are missing the point. There is no magical age when a woman is too old. The upper limit can increase if a woman is feminine, takes care of herself and doesn’t slut it up in her younger years.

    Ok so your argument is that no man wants to settle with some used up former skank? No arguments from me there. But nowadays that can be a woman at any age. I always believe a low caliber, promiscuous, or damaged woman will always show signs of something emotionally or mentally screwy. They are usually not very happy people, unstable in general and very angry (especially at men). This will be a clue about a sketchy past with wrong types of men.

    I just think all women should be given a fair shake of proving their past as opposed to all being dumped in some category as being damaged goods after a certain age. Of course if you are not attracted to women after a certain age then it doesn’t matter. But luckily there are still men who find women in their age ranges attractive. A lot of women didn’t sleep around or screw over a bunch of good guys – but early marriage eluded them for whatever reasons. All I say is try to keep this in mind before judging all women over a certain age. That’s all.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    On one hand you say “Ok so your argument is that no man wants to settle with some used up former skank? No arguments from me there. But nowadays that can be a woman at any age.”

    On the other hand you say “When people start blaming others for why they haven’t succeeded its b/c they lack the ability or refuse to see the forest for the tree in their eye.”

    If you acknowledge that there is indeed a problem you have no business talking about how guys need to look to at themselves instead of blaming someone or something else. I’m all about accepting responsibility but that does nothing to address the bigger problem.

  • Columnist

    Legalize polygyny. And not the paltry four wives Islam allows, but as many wives as you want.

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  • Rivelino

    really insightful and well written. i just learned something new.

  • Nutz

    For those who don’t know the reference about “the wall”, it’s a reference to the Wild E Coyote cartoons when he smashes into a wall, usually rocket propelled and at ludicrous speed. This can be in reference to her looks, fertility, or both. Often times when women have their WEC moment and hits the wall, it’s when she realizes she’s just cock hopped her prime resource away (her fertility) back when she should have been looking to start a family. See also: Marry Him! and similar warnings from older spinsters that now recognize they actually can’t “have it all”.

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  • M Simon

    As if men don’t also make bad or shallow choices and should not suffer later in life for it.

    Men have their 30s to make up for their 20s. Women are not so fortunate.

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