She’s Unhaapppy,…

controlling-parent

Do women seem more or less happy to you? It’s kind of hard to quantify/qualify what happiness means to men, but when it comes to women’s state of happiness or contentment I think most guys have a tendency to expect women’s experience of happiness to be measured on a similar scale to their own. From a strictly evo-psych / evo-bio perspective it’s important that any metric of happiness between the sexes be measured by first considering each’s innate psychological firmware and what contributes to men and women feeling a degree of happiness.

Because men and women rate their experiences differently per their own interpretations of what contribute to it  happiness becomes a really subjective evaluation. As you might guess, what makes for a happy woman is not always what makes for a happy man. It’s a similar contrast to men and women’s differing concepts of love. Men tend to approach love from an idealistic perspective, and women base their emotional investments on opportunistic contexts. We’re conditioned from an early age to believe men and women share a mutual concept of love thanks to an ever-present presumption of egalitarian equalism between males and females, and this is where a lot of intersexual problems find their root.

Likewise, our egalitarian presumptions also condition men and women to believe that we share mutual concepts of what should and shouldn’t make either sex happy in a long term sense. In this case it is women who are largely misled by the equalist narrative. For more than sixty years women have been conditioned to believe they can meet their own idealistic goal of ‘having it all’ if they can only “empower” themselves into being Strong Independent Women®. Increasingly women are coming to the conclusion that this pro-woman life plan has been nothing but feel-good advertising, and now, after having invested their most productive years in this narrative they find that they are largely unhappy with the results its brought into their lives.

You see, equalism (the religion of feminism) would have women believe that what makes men happy must necessarily be what makes women happy – or would make them happy in the long term if only the “patriarchy” would allow women the same opportunities to experience it. If we are all blank-slate equals, what makes women and men happy must be mutually shared, thus men are encouraged to be women and craft their identities around feminine-primacy, but also, women must become men and craft their personas around the masculine ideals that bring men so much power, and by way of it happiness.

Yet in our modern western(izing) world we find that the equalist effort to socially engineer androgyny into society has had the opposite effect in engendering happiness in women. Article after article and study after study show that women’s perceived happiness is at an all-time low since researchers have been collecting data on it. Women are living longer lives and at no point in history have they enjoyed more access to the means of more success than in the now. Mainstream feminine-primacy sees that more women are college educated than men, while men fill our prisons at 12 times the rate of women, yet for all of this women express feeling less satisfied with the quality of, and happiness in, their lives.

American women are wealthier, healthier and better educated than they were 30 years ago. They’re more likely to work outside the home, and more likely to earn salaries comparable to men’s when they do. They can leave abusive marriages and sue sexist employers. They enjoy unprecedented control over their own fertility. On some fronts — graduation rates, life expectancy and even job security — men look increasingly like the second sex.

But all the achievements of the feminist era may have delivered women to greater unhappiness. In the 1960s, when Betty Friedan diagnosed her fellow wives and daughters as the victims of “the problem with no name,” American women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. Today, that gender gap has reversed. Male happiness has inched up, and female happiness has dropped. In postfeminist America, men are happier than women.

And, as would be expected, women’s dissatisfaction with their lives is always traced back to uncooperative men and their reluctancy to make feminism the roaring success they just know it could be if men would simply accept their diminishing importance and superfluousness. What Today’s Woman has been sold is that the careerism, status seeking and ambitiousness that’s driven men to their sense of happiness-through-accomplishment (with all the prerequisite sacrifices needed to get there) is necessarily the same path to women’s sense of happiness and fulfillment.

But men and women are in fact different, and while the social experiment that is equalism continues to destroy lives by insisting they aren’t, women are coming to find (often too late in life to correct) that happiness for themselves comes as a result of satisfying needs that are innate to their nature as a female. As such, equalism and feminism fluidly redefine what “should be” happiness for men and women – men should always find fulfillment in making women happy in an ‘equalist’ utopia – yet that contentment for women will always be elusive and thus, a need to make men the culprits in that unending oppression of happiness comes into play.

Worst Case Scenario

Virtually every woman I’ve ever come into contact with in my lifetime shared a common mindset – each one subscribes to what I call the ‘worst case scenario’ mindset. I expect this from a mother or matronly relative, maybe even an overprotective sister, but to some degree all (and yes I mean all) women share a sense of risk aversion. That may not be in all aspects of a woman’s life, and certainly there are instances where this can be overridden – usually ones that imply an optimized Hypergamous opportunity – but I find that it’s part of women’s psychological firmware to obsessively want to mitigate risk of loss. Whether that’s risk of injury or resources or something that has a potential for providing her with security, the innate female subroutine is to play things safe.

In an age of mass media and instantaneous communication (women’s domain) this risk aversion gets combined with women’s primary, evolutionarily derived, need for a sustainable long term security and an existence-level sense of doubt. I’ve covered in prior posts about how Hypergamy is rooted in doubt and demands a constant reverifying of its being optimized in a man or a man with whom a woman has the potential of becoming intimate with. What results from this root level doubt and a hindbrain need for security is a continual preoccupation with the Worst Case Scenario.

Every possibility for the worst is thought through, contemplated and anticipated by women. There are very few women known for their genuine optimism or faith in a better outcome than what could possibly be the worst case. Yes, there are women who are saccharine motivational speakers, women’s ministry leaders and “make it a great day” believers in the magic powers of positivity, but even when it is genuine it comes as the result of wanting to mitigate the risks of the worst case scenario for their own (or women’s) lives.

As I wrote in Imagination, a man’s best tool in his Game toolbox is a woman’s imagination. That may be well for Game, but it also comes with the drawback of women’s imaginings of the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Throw women’s evolved sense of solipsism into this mix and it’s the worst possible thing that could happen, to her. On one hand, Dread is useful because of this innately female dynamic, but when you must contend with what amounts to a never ending battery of ‘what if’ doubts and reassurances then you begin to see the downside of that imagination. You begin to understand why women default to blaming men for not providing them with a sustainable happiness.

Women, being the life-bearing, nurture-giving sex with the most to lose in their investment in selecting a mate and gestating a child, have evolved to seek a sustainable security above all else – a security that guarantees her individuated happiness. That conventional, evolved sense of wellbeing used to be dependent upon the provisioning and the excitement that could only be provided by men. This is a subconscious expectation of women. Even women who subscribe to sexual fluidity often seek a similar security from their masculinized dominant partner.

Social Security

As a result of our equalist social narrative, women have been conditioned to believe that they can find this security and happiness in some untapped well they have hidden in their psyche if only they can be Strong and Independent enough to access it. In prior essays I’ve made the case that the ultimate goal of our feminine-primary social order has been to facilitate women’s optimizing Hypergamy by essentially outlawing men’s influence on that process. Every gender-based law that’s come into being since the time of the Sexual Revolution; from sexual consent, to what constitutes sexual harassment, to father’s (lack of) rights, to divorce settlement has been motivated by this deep seated female need for an enduring security. This was a security unique to men, but in an ‘equalist’ paradigm it is no longer required of, nor is it expected to be found in, men.

Yet for all of this handwringing, for all of the great efforts needed to legislate men’s direct or indirect financing of this security, and despite every social dispensation intended to empower women to provide this soul-gnawing need for security, women are still not happy.

The masterful Pook once said that the surest way to make a woman unhappy is to give them everything they want. I recently got into, yet again, another debate about the merits or non-merits of Choreplay and whether the idea of women getting hot for guys who do dishes was really a thing,…or not. This time the spin is that women will cheat on their husbands if they don’t do more chores.

As I was requoting myself for this debate I realized how long the Choreplay dilemma has been playing out – the first time I took it on was 2008. Men are deductive problem solvers. We want to make women happy as a means to getting sex, keeping the peace, sustaining intimacy, security, and just making a woman happy. The problem with that is that nothing a man can do will make a woman happy in the long term. In fact, just the whack-a-mole attempt to intentionally try to make a woman happy is itself a display women read as coming from a man who Just Doesn’t Get It.

The majority of men (Betas) would like nothing more than to sustain a woman’s happiness. They’re taught that relationship are always ‘hard work’ and his work will ultimately never be good enough. Even the most dutiful Beta can’t make a woman happy, but their efforts become a process of him negotiating for a woman’s desire. Whether that’s earning the ‘happiness’ of his mother, his sister, his female co-worker or his wife, the effect is the same.

We’ve made women’s happiness a litmus test for how successful a man or his relationships are. The common refrain of a woman leaving a man due to her being “unhaaaaaapy” is almost a cliché in the manosphere now. But if it’s a cliché it’s because this is the go-to reasoning we’ve heard from pop-psychologists, marriage counselors and mommy bloggers for the 70%+ of divorces initiated by women. We are expected to put a premium on women’s sustained happiness in a feminine-primary social order. Women’s happiness has become the prime directive and the metric for a relationship’s success. Any concern for men’s happiness is either a sign of his weakness or his problematic misogyny.

From Perfecting the Fantasy:

Here’s a secret – there’s no such thing as contentment.

Being content implies that life is static; it’s not, and to be honest, how boring would that be anyway? Life consists of varying states of discontent: why else would you bother doing anything? But the good news is that it’s more fun and more beneficial to manage discontent than to endure contentment (which you can’t anyway since it’s transitory at best). The trick is to understand that there are 2 kinds of discontent – creative and destructive discontent. What you choose to do with that discontent makes all the difference in the world. You will only get what you’ve gotten if you keep doing what you’ve done. Don’t allow yourself to fall back into old destructive habits of dealing with discontent. Don’t bother with anti-depressants and self-help books when a good hard workout at the gym would serve you better.

The truth is I’m always discontent, but constructively so. The minute you can look yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see you’re sunk. You can always improve, even after achieving things that were once very important and difficult to attain. Happiness is a state of being, it’s in the ‘doing’ not the ‘having done.’ It’s not about endlessly chasing your tail, it’s about being better than you were the day before.

I agree with Gorilla Patriot, women’s default is for unhappiness, but I’d qualify this by saying it’s more of a predisposition of discontent. That is to say there is no real neutral disposition for a woman. Even in a state of indifference, a woman’s conditioned expectation from men will always originate from a preconception of disappointment. The worst case scenario is what is subconsciously planned for to the point that, even a man whom a woman loves and trusts, a woman’s first expectation from him is failure.

A lot of this comes from a lifetime of having male role models portrayed as default failures, social ignoramuses or just ridiculous because of their maleness. Women have had an endless education that only their unique femaleness can solve men’s problems of maleness, and they solve it in spite of themselves. Women are quite literally taught to expect failure, discontentment and unhappiness from men from a very early age.

The great tragedy of this ‘education’ is that it teaches women to empower themselves to find some life satisfaction as a result of their independence from men, but yet they can’t get around the want to find happiness with men. This teaching seeks to create some equalist semblance of happiness based on what men define for themselves as happiness.

They’re taught that a real enduring security is somehow possible in an intrinsically unsafe and chaotic world. So they limit men, they mandate laws and social mores to mitigate the risks that men, in their idealism, would naturally be drawn to take. They keep the kids safe, tell them to walk on one side of the sidewalk, tell them not to jump on the bed, tell them not to ride a bike without a helmet and knee and arm pads, and to prepare for the most damaging possibility imaginable. And men, who’ve always been bigger, more dangerous children to them, must comply with this risk aversion by law or by shame.

Women are unhappy because they expect unhappiness. They’ve been taught that the security they sought in men was a weakness; one they need to compensate for. They were conditioned to feel shame for that need, that masculine comfort, even when they know security is never going to be guaranteed in the best of possible cases. They’re unhappy because they were taught that men’s happiness is better than women’s happiness and that’s the path they ought to follow no matter the sacrifice, no matter the damage to the family. They were taught that feminist pride and equalist hubris were a better substitute for a family – they believed the lie that they would just be ‘happy captives’.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Forge the Sky
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@Blax

thanks for the update re: Joe the cop in the last thread; good to hear.

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Rollo
I’ve come to the conclusion that every woman who participates on the TPP “debate” sub is there to either affirm or justify their love-life decisions or to use it as an online dating profile for the RP guys who post.

Well, the purple pill subreddit would seem to be the perfect place for those actions.
So not a surprise.

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Palleon Writing up a field report forces you to organize the events in your head, and you can often experience new insights from the same approach merely by replaying it in your head so as to commit it to “paper.” Those new insights in turn get wired lightly into the perceptions, this will after a while make it possible to learn to read people / situations better, first in retrospect, then in real time. Look how many men here have gone from “I think I saw an IOI” to “man, getting IOI’s all over the place now”. That’s just seeing… Read more »

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Forge In other news, I’m hitting some crazy new state threshold some days now. Not quite sure what it is, but some days all the girls at work etc. start fighting for my attention, and some of the girls I never got much interest from before are giving me serious fuck-me vibes. Then other days I’m back to ‘able to get positive attention from a girl if I pay attention to her first.’ Do you notice this happening at some kind of regular interval, like maybe every 28 days or so? That synchronization isn’t a myth. Also you should by… Read more »

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Finally, @HABD from the last thread: “what do you think about that link’s info?… (what pops into your head when i say that?…)” Musical frisson is an interesting thing to study, but I think they’re barking up the wrong tree. They got fairly weak results, and the strong-ish results they got give a kinda circular answer to the question of what traits lead to frisson. The only productive thing I can draw from it is that high levels of ‘state’ come about from strong focus and interest. Basically, state begets state. —- When I think about it a bit more,… Read more »

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@AR

I definitely see a spike of interest on a monthly basis with one or two of these girls, but this is the first time I’ve seen it being more collective like this.

And yes, it’s totally ‘good state’ days that’s doing it; it’s just a higher level of state than I’ve been able to bring before so I’m observing how that improvement changes the dynamics. At times it seems like, at certain intervals of improvement, the qualitative nature of the game changes. Which is something @Sentient in particular has been trying to prepare me for.

Onward and upward!

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I don’t always disagree with scray. Just sayin’. He he hee…. I agree that there are indeed some very, very cool chicks out there fellas. And yes, some of this unhappiness must be cultural in some respects. All of that connectedness…to…nothing really. All of the electronic devices from smartphones and iPads and earbuds and wireless/Bluetooth everything and vibrators. Women don’t have to work for much of anything at all, and no, their jobs don’t count because that Strong Independent shit is a fucking myth. There is a mental component also though. For as long as I can remember, a gaggle… Read more »

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@ Forge

A former colleague of mine gleefully used the radiology/sonography dept. techs as his harem. They did have some hotties years back. He’d routinely have girls literally fighting/threatening each other, especially at after-work parties. Exact quote from 2005 corporate X-mas party: “You fucking bitch! Stay away from him unless you want your ass kicked.”

Merry freaking X-mas.

Admittedly, it was a guilty pleasure watching him dance in the flames.

Blaximus
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@ Forge

Ahem, evidently some days your subcomms are radioactive and melting down Geiger counters.

EhIntellect
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“she can call up a few GF’s to talk about you, and in turn, they will talk about her later when she’s not around.”

Word.

Women complimenting women is tacitly understood as a social convention. There isn’t really any validity in the flattery “Oh yes, those bangs/your pixie haircut look(s) great.”

The spartan compliment from a guy is usually well received. “Skittles! Yay.”

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@play

Nope only as a last resort.

Eh….

this is more informed by your own biases at this point, which is a stellar example of how TRP can be as stifling as TBP.

It’s a mating strategy. It offers a specific type of value as opposed to another type of value. The values are equivalent but complimentary and elicit different responses in women.

We can agree to disagree.

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@ EhIntellect

This is part of the reason I don’t compliment women on their looks ever. If I do happen to feel like complimenting a really beautiful chick, I’ll say something like ” You have the most gorgeous wrists I’ve seen in a very long time..”. Throw a huge, greasy monkey wrench into their heads and make them go ” Wut???”.

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@Blax

Huh, I was wondering what all that liquid on the floor was….

EhIntellect
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I hear you. Good point.

I just realized I wouldn’t compliment a woman on something I didn’t find attractive. I’d find something else to talk about and use that angle. I’d be authentic and she’d recognize that. I could fake blandishments too, if the incentive was high enough, I guess. That’d take higher level of game.

IMO women intuitively sort sycophancy vs. legit praise. It’s the praise that they really want.

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Forge

Supra game state in sight… What will you do with it?

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@Forge “In other news, I’m hitting some crazy new state threshold some days now. Not quite sure what it is…” OKay. I’m not buying the shit about it being an internal state thing for Forge. Forge: You worked out your internal state over the last two years. You got that down. Your mindset is good going in. This thing you got going on is the Scray external game thing that you are now Masterful on. You are presumably (by my esimatiion) crossing the over the threshold of conscious competence to unconscious competence in Game. Do you really have to think… Read more »

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@habd
@HABD

That oughta cover it.
Regarding musical frisson, I’m pretty much in line with what Forge said. Study is pretty weak in terms of numbers alone.

Probably more learned with an innate component; some people are just tone deaf and can’t sing at all, so they probably are not likely to have such a neurophysical experience. Plus musical tastes are what they are to some extent, nature or nurture, I can’t say.

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@Blaximus
Men do not have to put up with unhappy women.

That whole posting, summed up in one sentence. Thread winner.

Softek
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@ Blax Nice comment. I’ll add that feminism does seem to have a massive price tag that comes with it. Namely, when women are hitting the Wall, and are single and childless, and even beyond that, don’t even know what it’s like to have strong masculine influence in their lives. I brought up a story to my girlfriend the other day. The one about my dad wanting his dessert, my mom complaining about it, and him telling her if she didn’t want to bring it she could go get a full time job so she could move out of the… Read more »

LRU
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Very interesting post. Enjoyed it very much. But the definition of content seemed wrong to me. Content does not imply static. Content implies you are ok with whatever comes. More of a stoic thing than static.

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Softek? Why are you still with this girl, again?

EhIntellect
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@ Anonymous Reader: You the best.

Softek, Wow. Great narrative.

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@softek Part of the value of these boards and posts is to share experiences that demonstrate a commitment or capacity to unplug. When I share my experiences it’s in the context of what a fuck up I was…and dudes…don’t do what I did… All I see from your posts is someone stuck in a co dependent relationship with a BPD. You have to get out of that or you’ll never grow. Change is scary. Doing the right thing doesn’t feel right at first because it’s so foreign to our current thinking. That’s why there are rules or boundaries we establish… Read more »

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@blaximus only recently did i realize that a compliment as seemingly benign as “you’re so pretty” from one woman to another – e.g., when they are both around a man who’s attention they seek – is actually intended as throwing shade with malicious intent. It’s essentially a minimization tactic, usually from the woman who perceives herself as less physically attractive (self esteem problem, much?) and wants to acknowledge and dismiss this fact to all within earshot immediately, so that she can be seen as superior in “other important ways” (uh, nah) as the conversation goes forward from there. @softek i… Read more »

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Softek And on the other hand she gets upset when I turn down her offers to do things for me, which she seems to really enjoy doing. Like giving me massages and making me food. Some of the happiest times I’ve seen her were when she made me food and I said it was really good, or if I tell her a massage she gave me was really good. i.e. her doing things for me. Also, Her doings things for me /= I said it was really good Training… she does something, reward her – once in a while not… Read more »

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@Sentient I think you’re giving Softek false hope that there is a way out of this mess by suddenly reframing everything, growing a set of balls and making her qualify everything. That’s a solution with a girl…early on in a relationship of some kind where you can start this…this girl he’s with is BPD. Anything he tries she’ll find a way to tear it down. There is only one solution, leave. But he doesn’t want to hear that and the mixed messages some of you guys are giving him is clearly fucking his head up. Softek…leave her. You will do… Read more »

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@LemmyCaution415,

Thanks for the reply, that’s a good point, I’d never considered that. One thing I definitely did with my wife that could be considered red pill was tease and play the odd prank on her.

I can’t think of anything else, I honestly never felt like her behaviour was anything but straightforward i.e. I never got that typical male frustration with my wife, that I’ve seen in men when talking about their spouse of “you’re never effing happy! Or, what the hell was all that about! She’s a headcase!”.

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@Black Pill,

I would make an addendum to that observation, women over 30 on dating sites are absolutely bananas.

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Wala

Let me clarify then. I’ve said from day one drop her.

He won’t. So het in the practice for its own sake. Not to change this relationship per se.

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@Blaximus,

Thank for the reply and the kind words. I’ll be lurking about on TRM for the foreseeable future, you’re a good bunch of fellas. I probably don’t have much else to add to the conversation for now, but if I do manage to tame the cynical old misanthrope, and have some stories to tell as a result, I’ll be posting it.

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@ Red Pill

Don’t be a stranger. We’re crowdsourcing. Your input is quite original, sympathetic.

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Sentient. I get the practice part of its a safe situation . But he’s a kid playing with matches.

Best to practice on girls who won’t burn him and sent him running back to us for more advice…which hell ignore unless it contains some aspect of ..keep talking younger somehow.

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@Softek: I’ve read of your misadventures with this female and definitely agree with the consensus here, and as Wala posted: Softek…leave her. You will do so much better. You need to unplug. There is no hope. Things will never get better no matter what you say, do , how much better your game will be, you will never be in a situation where she will respect you—unless one day she comes home and there’s a note: “it’s not working for me. Good luck.” You’ve obviously read enough Rollo to know you have Oneitis for a ticking time bomb. The effort… Read more »

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Rollo

http://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/16/Screen-Shot-2016-11-16-at-7.11.52-PM.png

Would be a good post topic… who is zoomin’ who here? And why?

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kfg
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Upton has been seen in the gym lately, under some heavy ass weight, targeting her heavy ass.

newlyaloof
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Happy Friday, gentlemen! What’s hot for tonight? Good luck.

kfg
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XD
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Note that women are in a constant state of war with each other. We men take the ability for granted to instantly connect genuinely with other males when the need arises; if the chips are down bad enough even sworn enemies will bury their differences. This is SO NOT TRUE of women. They’re baby making machines at their core. Hypergamy isn’t just about optimizing one woman’s resources and options; it also has to make sure her competition doesn’t beat her to Chads bedroom. They’re always auditioning for Alpha attention, and thus can’t trust each other – ever. That has a… Read more »

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Just leaving this here
On Wednesday, Oxford Dictionaries christened “post-truth,” an adjective defined as “relating to or denoting circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief,

kfg
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“post-truth”

Or, in old money, “rhetorical.”

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anon
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I fear that all heavy weights and no pushing-away-from-the-table will make Kate a thicker girl.

(she peaked at 18, hope she gets it back she was very very lovely before she porked out)

Sentient
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Anon

Ahh yes… 18…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMpQgDbqz6U

My go to reminder video to remember it’s not whether she is happy or unhappy… wrong frame for you to be in… does not matter.

They all just want to have fun though… So give them some fun, unlock it… and enjoy.

Then go on with you doing you.

Silly Girls

kfg
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@anon:

I believe dread is in operation here and that whoever is teaching her to lift like that isn’t neglecting diet.

Robert
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When you upend the natural order, you get problems. Women are literally supposed to be in the kitchen with children running around their legs and a strong man guiding them. If they don’t get this, they are perpetually unfulfilled.

http://www.knightsofthewest.com

rugby11
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Where all mystics of story’s…
https://youtu.be/uVYs5Y_EqSc

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBVs_UYjJ7j/

https://youtu.be/02fskiuZFm0
“I like movies where you can come back and re-watch them and admire the cinematography 25 years later.”

http://www.philosophyoflife.org/jpl201308.pdf

YaReally
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The hard part for men to understand is that women are happy WHEN they’re unhappy and that they’re unhappy BECAUSE they’re happy. They LIKE feeling unhappy. There’s a reason rom-coms have a generic misunderstanding conflict in the middle of them. There’s a reason they eagerly get out the Kleenex and voluntarily put in their DVD copy of The Notebook for the dozenth time. Society has bubble-taped the world around them (from socially conditioning men to overall societal traditions) to try to keep them from getting their feels hurt, but without bad feels they can’t appreciate the good feels so they… Read more »

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@Blaximus – Once again you knock it out of the park: ” Women are the only one’s that truly understand women, and they hate each other.” This explains so much. If my male friendships generated a 10th of the backstabbing, power triangles, marginalizing, catty behavior and general clawing to get ahead that female friendships seem to engender, well I’d be rolling through life solo. I can’t tell you how many women I knew who had that same Mean Girl cadre in her life, and endured year after year of flat out awful behavior at their hands, that would be a… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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” . . . without bad feels they can’t appreciate the good feels . . .”

It’s the second act of the Heroic Woman’s Journey. There is no triumph without overcoming despair.

MikePhil
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MikePhil
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@Softek – Just another comment if you don’t mind…. Your words: 1) It can be extremely hard to be around her. 2) She’s so fucking miserable all the time and it’s draining. 3) When I don’t allow myself to get sucked into her negativity, etc. 4) It’s just that doing that repeatedly can feel tiring. Man, you just described my first marriage. For what it’s worth, consider this; why are you spending your energies in trying to change the default state of this women, when she clearly can’t be bothered to do it for herself? And what is she bringing… Read more »

scray
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@forge

And yes, it’s totally ‘good state’ days that’s doing it; i

State is cool and all but ultimately, it becomes a crutch.

The thing that will save you is to have the external roadmap memorized. Trust.

Having a good state is like between that roadmap and a good, more permanent mindset.

Mindset is like auto-pilot: unconscious competence.

The problem, however, is that if you run into a situation that bombs on your mindset and puts you into new territory. Then defaulting back to your training and only that is what will allow you to win anyway.

Softek
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Where I was coming from — incel and suicidal until I was 26 — felt far worse. And I was much lower functioning. That’s the main reason for the co-dependency. As frustrating as the relationship can feel, it never even comes remotely close to the torture I went through before I got into the relationship. I felt like I was in hell. I wouldn’t describe this relationship as even close to that. It can be frustrating, but “frustrating” and “living hell” are worlds apart. The worm hasn’t turned yet. Last night I got pissed at her and told her I… Read more »

scray
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scray
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@blax we agree about there being cool chicks. the other shit about ‘IF SHE WANTS TO BE A BITCH SHE CAN SUX MY DICK LOL!!’ comes off to me as just manosphere posturing and equally applicable to most men out there: most of them are unhappy losers. I mean, I get the bravado, but idk, a more human touch IME goes a longer way (WHOAAAAA beta traits ftw? ????!?!?!?!?!?!) women enjoy being unhappy because they want to have the full human experience most men are so afraid of being unhappy or any negative consequence that they won’t even take the… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@scray

‘how do I use TRP to prevent my gf from cheating’ already reveals the entire problem with the person asking the question.

Yeah, anyone who is afraid of getting STDs from girls has psychological problems. Aw, fuck.

scray
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scray
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@theasd

A man who’s that afraid of getting STDs doesn’t realize how unlikely that is with hetero intercourse

SJF
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@Softek

“Have to keep at least other areas in my life moving forward, and I’ve been doing well with that. Way more confidence and skills than I had last year, and I’m keeping the momentum going.”

Glad to hear that, man. Keep going.

I’m not endorsing your relationship, but it is obviously paid you dividends on getting agency in your life. I’d make some relationship game practical comments if it weren’t seen as an endorsement of your current set up.

theasdgamer
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A man who’s that afraid of getting STDs doesn’t realize how unlikely that is with hetero intercourse

Good point.

How common is genital herpes?
Genital herpes is common in the United States. In the United States, about one out of every six people aged 14 to 49 years have genital herpes.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/STDFact-herpes.htm

scray
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@theasd

and the transmission rate from female infected to male non-infected is 4% which drops to around 2% if the female uses daily anti-viral treatment.

so let’s see….04 x .16 (assuming 16% of women are infected) = .00064 chance of getting herpes from any one totally unprotected, untreated encounter with a woman. half that with daily treatment, and about half that still when using a condom with daily treatment.

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lol

and this is all assuming that SHE gets it when cheating on you and THEN gives it to you.

like lol….

the F E A R is real.

theasdgamer
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Of course, there’s chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis C, HPV, and others. You can get cancer from STDs. One guy I know got cancer, likely from an STD.

theasdgamer
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the transmission rate from female infected to male non-infected is 4% Not if you go for muffin munching…and the 4% statistic is per sexual act, not per night of sex. Of course, you can get herpes from kissing as well as from intercourse. More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime. http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/statistics/ Let’s say that women get STDs at 4x the rate of men…that means that 20% of men will get STDs during their life…the more you play, the better your chance of winning. And the more your monogamous (you think) partner… Read more »

theasdgamer
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It’s true that most infected men show no symptoms of chlamydial infection…and chlamydia is a significant risk for female infertility…do you want the be the one who makes your partner infertile?

scray
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@theasd

lol

the F E A R is real.

I leave you to it.

Bottom line is this whole ‘I DON’T WANT TO GET STDS FROM HER BRO’ shit is dumb.

a) she doesn’t have a high chance of getting anything
b) she doesn’t have a high chance of getting something and then passing it on to you
c) if you’re non-monogamous you’ll probably be using condoms a lot more anyway, so you’ve done all you could to protect yourself.

Softek
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@ SJF Thanks, I appreciate it, as well as the input from everyone else here, as usual. It’s actually a huge relief to experience the polar opposite of incel: not wanting sex as much because I’m more focused on other things, and not even thinking about sex except for when I’m in the middle of doing it. I’m much more fully engaged in my work these days. Incel was like a haze over everything in my life and was keeping me from being in the moment because I was always preoccupied thinking about my situation. Sex is definitely good for… Read more »

Softek
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Interesting talk about STD’s too.

I wonder if the heavy emphasis on STD’s in today’s culture is one reason millennials are allegedly having less sex than previous generations?

When I was younger that was certainly a fear that was one of many that kept me from having sex. I didn’t want to get an STD.

Then there’s the old joke:

If she tells you to put a condom on, you know it’s safe to fuck her raw. If she tells you it’s okay to fuck her raw, that’s when you know you need to put a condom on.

Softek
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One girl I’ve been talking to and half assed trying to hook up with made some joke about antibiotics recently. That kind of made me leery and admittedly made me feel like pursuing things further would not be a good idea. The idea of fucking a potentially STD riddled chick is about as appealing to me as stepping barefoot in a pile of dog shit. I grew up hearing the riot act about STD’s though, like in school from an early age. Kind of a difficult fear to shake. I didn’t even realize I had it until I played with… Read more »

Novaseeker
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Just an FYI.

More scrutiny is coming. Much more. Journalists everywhere are very busy researching every site that is even tangentially related to the “alt-right”, and this includes RP sites. Just today I came across this in my own Google Now feed:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/the-red-pill-parents-who-want-to-protect-their-children-from-a-feminised-world-a7422931.html

Be vigilant.

rugby11
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rugby11
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Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Guys, use condoms please.

Blaximus
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@ Sentient

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Hp68j7e-RU

Yaasssss….

When I think of Upton, this vid is the one I recall more than any others.

When walking into any venue, this is the chick I wanna talk to and expand on the funz.

A mans ability to have fun and enjoyment should never fully hinge on any other person. Other people can only ever add to a guys enjoyment, and serve only as temporary focuses at best. At least that’s the frame imo.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Oh SHIT!!!!! Lol!!!!! Link failure at 100%.

I didn’t mean to link to Ms Warren above, but the fucking irony……

anon
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anon
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I”m assuming you were thinking of this one, Blaximus. wink

I don’t picture this girl as “unhappy”. She seems like a happy person to me.

theasdgamer
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@scray Bottom line is this whole ‘I DON’T WANT TO GET STDS FROM HER BRO’ shit is dumb. As proven by the fact that over half of all adults will get an STD at some point during their lifetime. Good point. Your bottom line can’t be dumb. a) she doesn’t have a high chance of getting anything If she has >50 partners, she’s probably gotten an STD at some point. If she has a fuckbuddy who has multiple fuckbuddies per year, and she hooks up with him on a regular basis, then she will likely get an STD at some… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Lol. Guys, wear condoms.

theasdgamer
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@scray

Let’s look at statistics. STD word problem. If there’s only a 4% chance of a man being infected with an STD by a particular, infected woman, and he has sex with her twice a week, how many weeks pass until there is a 50% chance that he has been infected? (Hint: .96 to the 2x nth power = .5, where n is the number of weeks) Something like 6 weeks, I think.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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After watching a couple of people die from aids, 1 gay guy, 1 straight guy, condoms seem very reasonable.

scray
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scray
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@theasd As proven by the fact that over half of all adults will get an STD at some point during their lifetime. Good point. Your bottom line can’t be dumb. they don’t get the STDs from “not giving a shit if their partner cheats.” they get it from just generally being promiscuous themselves. like I said, no matter which way you slice it, the rationale you put forward is dumb. If she has >50 partners, okay so now we’re taking a sample that represents 2% of the female population. Sick place to start. If she has a fuckbuddy who has… Read more »

anon
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anon
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Charlie Sheen is fearless!

anon
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anon
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Louis Pasteur was beta.

Lost Patrol
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Lost Patrol
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@Novaseeker:

Be vigilant.

This is disconcerting. I thought only a Clinton victory in the elections would bring on an attempted purge of the men’s sphere.

kfg
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kfg
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@Lost Patrol:

It was the siege of Stalingrad and all appearing lost that fostered the Soviet counter-offensive.

rugby11
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rugby11
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Do things that scare you to learn to be happy.
https://instagram.com/p/BMZvCC0joBW/

scray
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scray
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Vektor
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Vektor
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“Virtually every woman I’ve ever come into contact with in my lifetime shared a common mindset – each one subscribes to what I call the ‘worst case scenario’ mindset”

I would expect most red pill men, especially the ones that had to learn the hard way, to look at relationship-minded women with a worst case scenario mindset. Pain is an excellent teacher.

SJF
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@scray
November 18, 2016 at 5:10 pm

I thought about it. That is exactly Deida’s overarching theme in The Way of the Superior Man.

SJF
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“I would expect most red pill men, especially the ones that had to learn the hard way, to look at relationship-minded women with a worst case scenario mindset. Pain is an excellent teacher.”

Nope. That is is precisely exhibiting fear.

Sure you don’t want a relationship, but “relationship-minded” is an adjective that is part of the firmware of women. Sure you can dislike and fear that but good luck in doing so.

Lost Patrol
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Lost Patrol
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@kfg

It was the siege of Stalingrad and all appearing lost that fostered the Soviet counter-offensive.

Analogy understood. I guess the price of a free Men’s Sphere is in fact eternal vigilance.

Sentient
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Sentient
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Blax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aCymryo-1A

Yeah I knew a few gay guys who died of AIDS… in the late 80’s. Was very real threat.

STD’s are not a joke today either. 100% of people that have them, have them.

Sentient
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Sentient
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Novaseeker

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/15/alt-right-manosphere-mainstream-politics-breitbart

http://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/alt-right/

SPLC et. al. are very busy, going beyond Roosh… Manosphere will be synonymous with alt-Right in a few months…

Rob
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Rob
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So it sounds like the female brain is wired as a prey animal for self defense. While the male brain is wired as a predator for hunting.

Sentient
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Sentient
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On their forums I’ve read long, furious manifestos claiming that women are all sluts who “ride the cock carousel” and sleep with a series of “alpha males” until they reach the end of their sexual prime, at which point they seek out a “beta cuck” to settle down with for financial security. I’ve lurked silently on blogs dedicated to “pick-up artistry” as men argue that uppity, opinionated, feminist women – women like myself – need to be put in their place through “corrective rape”. I know about the “men going their own way” movement, which is based around the idea… Read more »

Sentient
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Sentient
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Sentient
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Of course they are all going out of business during all this…

Footer Plea

But while more people are reading the Guardian, far fewer are paying for it. And advertising revenues across the media are falling fast.

hank holiday
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hank holiday
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@yareally That’s the big takeaway in 2016, same as hank is figuring out: don’t try to game over txt. Avoid number closing in favor of the same night lay if you can, and if you can’t then just use txt as a way to get to a voice call where you can run better game. EVERY guy is trying to game via txt these days. funny part was I was only trying to do minimal game. apparently though the only way to go is either a) crazy comment, then call her IMMEDIATELY on voice when she texts you back or… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Blaximus
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and as long as I’m strolling down 80″s memory lane…

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3psB9nG75sM&w=854&h=480%5D

Lol. this is kinda what I was trying to relate to YaReally. This routine was from 1987. Me and Eddie were 26 years old at the time. This ” joke ” was old and common knowledge way before pua or even RP.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVNEp6hZE3g&w=854&h=480%5D

Lol. Still. Oooooooo-Wooooooo….

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Last one for tonight-

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dGhsRsHXP8&w=854&h=480%5D

Novaseeker
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Novaseeker
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SPLC et. al. are very busy, going beyond Roosh… Manosphere will be synonymous with alt-Right in a few months… Yep, I agree, hence my warning. They are coming. Yes SPLC poked around before, but now the beehive was just blown up and so the bees are pissed and are buzzing around angrily. No reason to be fearful, ahem, LOL uc idk etc., but reason to take precautions and be aware that the scrutiny level has been turned way, way up, and they are digging way down. The goal is to eliminate all of us. I don’t think that will happen,… Read more »

Novaseeker
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Novaseeker
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This is disconcerting. I thought only a Clinton victory in the elections would bring on an attempted purge of the men’s sphere.

Oh the feds won’t touch us under the PEOTUS. The SPLCs et al are making a list though. When the bough breaks and the other ones take over the reigns again, that’s the risk. In the meantime, if you care about being anonymous just take care to make it stickier. That’s all.

Softek
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@ Blax

That shit was hilarious. Thanks for sharing those.

Meanwhile I’m over here like:

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