She’s Unhaapppy,…

controlling-parent

Do women seem more or less happy to you? It’s kind of hard to quantify/qualify what happiness means to men, but when it comes to women’s state of happiness or contentment I think most guys have a tendency to expect women’s experience of happiness to be measured on a similar scale to their own. From a strictly evo-psych / evo-bio perspective it’s important that any metric of happiness between the sexes be measured by first considering each’s innate psychological firmware and what contributes to men and women feeling a degree of happiness.

Because men and women rate their experiences differently per their own interpretations of what contribute to it  happiness becomes a really subjective evaluation. As you might guess, what makes for a happy woman is not always what makes for a happy man. It’s a similar contrast to men and women’s differing concepts of love. Men tend to approach love from an idealistic perspective, and women base their emotional investments on opportunistic contexts. We’re conditioned from an early age to believe men and women share a mutual concept of love thanks to an ever-present presumption of egalitarian equalism between males and females, and this is where a lot of intersexual problems find their root.

Likewise, our egalitarian presumptions also condition men and women to believe that we share mutual concepts of what should and shouldn’t make either sex happy in a long term sense. In this case it is women who are largely misled by the equalist narrative. For more than sixty years women have been conditioned to believe they can meet their own idealistic goal of ‘having it all’ if they can only “empower” themselves into being Strong Independent Women®. Increasingly women are coming to the conclusion that this pro-woman life plan has been nothing but feel-good advertising, and now, after having invested their most productive years in this narrative they find that they are largely unhappy with the results its brought into their lives.

You see, equalism (the religion of feminism) would have women believe that what makes men happy must necessarily be what makes women happy – or would make them happy in the long term if only the “patriarchy” would allow women the same opportunities to experience it. If we are all blank-slate equals, what makes women and men happy must be mutually shared, thus men are encouraged to be women and craft their identities around feminine-primacy, but also, women must become men and craft their personas around the masculine ideals that bring men so much power, and by way of it happiness.

Yet in our modern western(izing) world we find that the equalist effort to socially engineer androgyny into society has had the opposite effect in engendering happiness in women. Article after article and study after study show that women’s perceived happiness is at an all-time low since researchers have been collecting data on it. Women are living longer lives and at no point in history have they enjoyed more access to the means of more success than in the now. Mainstream feminine-primacy sees that more women are college educated than men, while men fill our prisons at 12 times the rate of women, yet for all of this women express feeling less satisfied with the quality of, and happiness in, their lives.

American women are wealthier, healthier and better educated than they were 30 years ago. They’re more likely to work outside the home, and more likely to earn salaries comparable to men’s when they do. They can leave abusive marriages and sue sexist employers. They enjoy unprecedented control over their own fertility. On some fronts — graduation rates, life expectancy and even job security — men look increasingly like the second sex.

But all the achievements of the feminist era may have delivered women to greater unhappiness. In the 1960s, when Betty Friedan diagnosed her fellow wives and daughters as the victims of “the problem with no name,” American women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. Today, that gender gap has reversed. Male happiness has inched up, and female happiness has dropped. In postfeminist America, men are happier than women.

And, as would be expected, women’s dissatisfaction with their lives is always traced back to uncooperative men and their reluctancy to make feminism the roaring success they just know it could be if men would simply accept their diminishing importance and superfluousness. What Today’s Woman has been sold is that the careerism, status seeking and ambitiousness that’s driven men to their sense of happiness-through-accomplishment (with all the prerequisite sacrifices needed to get there) is necessarily the same path to women’s sense of happiness and fulfillment.

But men and women are in fact different, and while the social experiment that is equalism continues to destroy lives by insisting they aren’t, women are coming to find (often too late in life to correct) that happiness for themselves comes as a result of satisfying needs that are innate to their nature as a female. As such, equalism and feminism fluidly redefine what “should be” happiness for men and women – men should always find fulfillment in making women happy in an ‘equalist’ utopia – yet that contentment for women will always be elusive and thus, a need to make men the culprits in that unending oppression of happiness comes into play.

Worst Case Scenario

Virtually every woman I’ve ever come into contact with in my lifetime shared a common mindset – each one subscribes to what I call the ‘worst case scenario’ mindset. I expect this from a mother or matronly relative, maybe even an overprotective sister, but to some degree all (and yes I mean all) women share a sense of risk aversion. That may not be in all aspects of a woman’s life, and certainly there are instances where this can be overridden – usually ones that imply an optimized Hypergamous opportunity – but I find that it’s part of women’s psychological firmware to obsessively want to mitigate risk of loss. Whether that’s risk of injury or resources or something that has a potential for providing her with security, the innate female subroutine is to play things safe.

In an age of mass media and instantaneous communication (women’s domain) this risk aversion gets combined with women’s primary, evolutionarily derived, need for a sustainable long term security and an existence-level sense of doubt. I’ve covered in prior posts about how Hypergamy is rooted in doubt and demands a constant reverifying of its being optimized in a man or a man with whom a woman has the potential of becoming intimate with. What results from this root level doubt and a hindbrain need for security is a continual preoccupation with the Worst Case Scenario.

Every possibility for the worst is thought through, contemplated and anticipated by women. There are very few women known for their genuine optimism or faith in a better outcome than what could possibly be the worst case. Yes, there are women who are saccharine motivational speakers, women’s ministry leaders and “make it a great day” believers in the magic powers of positivity, but even when it is genuine it comes as the result of wanting to mitigate the risks of the worst case scenario for their own (or women’s) lives.

As I wrote in Imagination, a man’s best tool in his Game toolbox is a woman’s imagination. That may be well for Game, but it also comes with the drawback of women’s imaginings of the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Throw women’s evolved sense of solipsism into this mix and it’s the worst possible thing that could happen, to her. On one hand, Dread is useful because of this innately female dynamic, but when you must contend with what amounts to a never ending battery of ‘what if’ doubts and reassurances then you begin to see the downside of that imagination. You begin to understand why women default to blaming men for not providing them with a sustainable happiness.

Women, being the life-bearing, nurture-giving sex with the most to lose in their investment in selecting a mate and gestating a child, have evolved to seek a sustainable security above all else – a security that guarantees her individuated happiness. That conventional, evolved sense of wellbeing used to be dependent upon the provisioning and the excitement that could only be provided by men. This is a subconscious expectation of women. Even women who subscribe to sexual fluidity often seek a similar security from their masculinized dominant partner.

Social Security

As a result of our equalist social narrative, women have been conditioned to believe that they can find this security and happiness in some untapped well they have hidden in their psyche if only they can be Strong and Independent enough to access it. In prior essays I’ve made the case that the ultimate goal of our feminine-primary social order has been to facilitate women’s optimizing Hypergamy by essentially outlawing men’s influence on that process. Every gender-based law that’s come into being since the time of the Sexual Revolution; from sexual consent, to what constitutes sexual harassment, to father’s (lack of) rights, to divorce settlement has been motivated by this deep seated female need for an enduring security. This was a security unique to men, but in an ‘equalist’ paradigm it is no longer required of, nor is it expected to be found in, men.

Yet for all of this handwringing, for all of the great efforts needed to legislate men’s direct or indirect financing of this security, and despite every social dispensation intended to empower women to provide this soul-gnawing need for security, women are still not happy.

The masterful Pook once said that the surest way to make a woman unhappy is to give them everything they want. I recently got into, yet again, another debate about the merits or non-merits of Choreplay and whether the idea of women getting hot for guys who do dishes was really a thing,…or not. This time the spin is that women will cheat on their husbands if they don’t do more chores.

As I was requoting myself for this debate I realized how long the Choreplay dilemma has been playing out – the first time I took it on was 2008. Men are deductive problem solvers. We want to make women happy as a means to getting sex, keeping the peace, sustaining intimacy, security, and just making a woman happy. The problem with that is that nothing a man can do will make a woman happy in the long term. In fact, just the whack-a-mole attempt to intentionally try to make a woman happy is itself a display women read as coming from a man who Just Doesn’t Get It.

The majority of men (Betas) would like nothing more than to sustain a woman’s happiness. They’re taught that relationship are always ‘hard work’ and his work will ultimately never be good enough. Even the most dutiful Beta can’t make a woman happy, but their efforts become a process of him negotiating for a woman’s desire. Whether that’s earning the ‘happiness’ of his mother, his sister, his female co-worker or his wife, the effect is the same.

We’ve made women’s happiness a litmus test for how successful a man or his relationships are. The common refrain of a woman leaving a man due to her being “unhaaaaaapy” is almost a cliché in the manosphere now. But if it’s a cliché it’s because this is the go-to reasoning we’ve heard from pop-psychologists, marriage counselors and mommy bloggers for the 70%+ of divorces initiated by women. We are expected to put a premium on women’s sustained happiness in a feminine-primary social order. Women’s happiness has become the prime directive and the metric for a relationship’s success. Any concern for men’s happiness is either a sign of his weakness or his problematic misogyny.

From Perfecting the Fantasy:

Here’s a secret – there’s no such thing as contentment.

Being content implies that life is static; it’s not, and to be honest, how boring would that be anyway? Life consists of varying states of discontent: why else would you bother doing anything? But the good news is that it’s more fun and more beneficial to manage discontent than to endure contentment (which you can’t anyway since it’s transitory at best). The trick is to understand that there are 2 kinds of discontent – creative and destructive discontent. What you choose to do with that discontent makes all the difference in the world. You will only get what you’ve gotten if you keep doing what you’ve done. Don’t allow yourself to fall back into old destructive habits of dealing with discontent. Don’t bother with anti-depressants and self-help books when a good hard workout at the gym would serve you better.

The truth is I’m always discontent, but constructively so. The minute you can look yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see you’re sunk. You can always improve, even after achieving things that were once very important and difficult to attain. Happiness is a state of being, it’s in the ‘doing’ not the ‘having done.’ It’s not about endlessly chasing your tail, it’s about being better than you were the day before.

I agree with Gorilla Patriot, women’s default is for unhappiness, but I’d qualify this by saying it’s more of a predisposition of discontent. That is to say there is no real neutral disposition for a woman. Even in a state of indifference, a woman’s conditioned expectation from men will always originate from a preconception of disappointment. The worst case scenario is what is subconsciously planned for to the point that, even a man whom a woman loves and trusts, a woman’s first expectation from him is failure.

A lot of this comes from a lifetime of having male role models portrayed as default failures, social ignoramuses or just ridiculous because of their maleness. Women have had an endless education that only their unique femaleness can solve men’s problems of maleness, and they solve it in spite of themselves. Women are quite literally taught to expect failure, discontentment and unhappiness from men from a very early age.

The great tragedy of this ‘education’ is that it teaches women to empower themselves to find some life satisfaction as a result of their independence from men, but yet they can’t get around the want to find happiness with men. This teaching seeks to create some equalist semblance of happiness based on what men define for themselves as happiness.

They’re taught that a real enduring security is somehow possible in an intrinsically unsafe and chaotic world. So they limit men, they mandate laws and social mores to mitigate the risks that men, in their idealism, would naturally be drawn to take. They keep the kids safe, tell them to walk on one side of the sidewalk, tell them not to jump on the bed, tell them not to ride a bike without a helmet and knee and arm pads, and to prepare for the most damaging possibility imaginable. And men, who’ve always been bigger, more dangerous children to them, must comply with this risk aversion by law or by shame.

Women are unhappy because they expect unhappiness. They’ve been taught that the security they sought in men was a weakness; one they need to compensate for. They were conditioned to feel shame for that need, that masculine comfort, even when they know security is never going to be guaranteed in the best of possible cases. They’re unhappy because they were taught that men’s happiness is better than women’s happiness and that’s the path they ought to follow no matter the sacrifice, no matter the damage to the family. They were taught that feminist pride and equalist hubris were a better substitute for a family – they believed the lie that they would just be ‘happy captives’.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Blaximus
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My ( recent) understanding is that monogamy and ltr’s have no benefits in 2016.😂😞

So guys, condoms in all circumstances and keep random Chick’s bodily fluids and secretions out of you. Use the big head more than the little one.

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@ kfg I have been convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that the region or the country in which one lives make a difference in how interactions take place and are perceived. I have not been able to observe this women on tinder 24/7-/texting/orbiter phenomenon, nor has anyone I’ve spoken to about it over the past 6 months or so. Yet guys still say here in the comments that this is a factor. Due to anonymity I don’t know where in the country they are seeing this to such a consistent degree as to declare it a universal. Maybe… Read more »

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HABD is hypergamy always in play?… (rhetorical…) Let’s stipulate it is always in play, to a degree. We don’t need to measure the degree. But it is a gradient, not binary… Would you stipulate that solipsism is also always in play? Once the Arbiter has decided… there is tremendous pressure on the hamster to continue to justify HER choices… Solipsism So there you have Cindy Rooney slapping Cap for his slipping in her eyes… because it lowers her view of her choice… And you have Kate Upton slapping the media because Justin’s losing the Cy Young lowers her view of… Read more »

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@grain Gamer: “You assume incorrectly that I was supposed to merely observe.” Please see the two times where you said you were there to observe. I didn’t assume anything: You assumed “merely”. I was there to observe, as my buddy wanted, but I chose to bring the party as well. I don’t enjoy playing the spinster aunt. You asked for feedback, I provided (beta trait) and you dismissed it out of hand. Nah, I just got nitpicky about the details. We basically agree that my buddy dropped the ball. The chick has had brain surgery and he felt bad about… Read more »

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Blax I can’t recall the exact article, but Nielsen recently put the avg American adult at over 10.5 hours of electronic media per day (increasing every year) And I mean, the millennial stereotype is “nose buried in their phone” As for location, I think you’re right that there are differences nationwide, but I don’t think it’s as drastic as you might. A millennial is a millennial is a millennial… Here’s one study somewhat related: http://www.nielsen.com/us/en/insights/news/2016/their-generation-from-location-to-listening-habits-a-media-divide-exists.html When I’m at a party or bar/club, yea most people are pretty engaged with those they’re with. But everyone will at some point whip out… Read more »

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Great Post. Women’s default state does often appear to be unhappiness. One wonders if they’re a casualty of the desire feedback loop – that is desire being the root of unhappiness. Do men desire things? Absolutely. However they’re more concrete (ribs, gainful employment, and sex) opposed to women’s eat, pray, love desires that are abstract, mutually exclusive, and constantly in flux (a fulfilling career and time for family, being an independent women and the dependence of a husband to help rear and finance a family home, aging and remaining youthful, etc..) But what concerns me the most is how much… Read more »

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@Blax

My ( recent) understanding is that monogamy and ltr’s have no benefits in 2016

Pre-Epiphany chicks bring a high risk of infidelity (even for alphas) and Post-Epiphany New-Set-ofBooks chicks bring a moderate risk of infidelity even for alphas, so STDs are a hazard. Assume it’s raining and wear your rubbers, even with LTRs.

Old-Set-of-Books broads bring a low risk of infidelity, so you can bareback if pregnancy isn’t an issue.

Any chick in a LTR brings standard cook/clean/fuck benefits.

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“Just take a look around, miserable looking mom’s with there dutiful beaten down husband desperately trying to make it work. Now wonder marriage rates are down, what man in there right mind wants that kind of life?”

Yes. I mentioned before I believe that chronic unhappiness can be a sort of habit that feeds on itself. Happiness can be contagious, and so can unhappiness. Just like most other things. Thinking= doing, but doing also can = thinking.

It’s even been scientifically proven.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/smile-it-could-make-you-happier/

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Sorry Roll but I couldn’t muster up the give a damn about women being unhappy to read the post.

Right certain it’s the only one I’ve skipped

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@ asd Nah, it doesn’t have to go that route re: cheating women. A man can have a relationship that doesn’t involve a random dick making a guest appearance. It’s not a given that this will happen, but it does depend on the man ( like everything else… burden) and what kind of woman he has ( vetting ). All women are capable, not all absolutely will. Regardless of what set of books, the nature of females is unchanged at it’s core. It’s the responsibility of any serious man to understand this and conduct himself accordingly to get the desired… Read more »

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acct testing…. more to come.

Softek
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@ Blax

re: cheating

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3psB9nG75sM

Watching that one again. Got me rolling.

dr zipper
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Long time lurker and not much of a joiner. But this RP stuff is life-changing and I can endorse 99% of Rollo’s writings as being a bullseye in my personal experience.

As part of my ongoing process of self improvement, I hope to participate and contribute in some way to the discussions.

I’ll leave it at that for now.

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@ zipper

Welcome to the crew.

@ Blax

1) Be RP aware
2) Be the best version of yourself you can be

This is all men can do, really. Whatever women are doing or aren’t doing doesn’t change that.

Paralysis by analysis. “They’re just women” is a good mantra to keep in mind.

RP awareness is like a long, Zen journey to enlightenment. We learn the special, complicated rules of women, only to ultimately come to the conclusion that there is nothing special or complicated about women.

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@bt “I mean fuck ladies, you got the kids you wanted, now what? You got the job you wanted, now what? You got the body you wanted, now what? Instead of the “now what” why not enjoy and rest in your successes? But no, the target moves again, and so to does the woman’s unhappiness.”

The lead singer of the Methadones obviously got burned a few times and ended up writing some great butthurt post-relationship fallout songs. I think this song is pretty much the anthem for what you just said: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnOfpF8IVY4

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@theasdgamer – all of those things can happen (you can in theory get herpes even from your grandmother giving you a kiss on the cheek when you’re 6) but as a practical matter – given that most people don’t have STDs in the West, and the fact that transmission is pretty difficult even if they do have them (assuming condoms are used), the odds are very low. So low as I said, that it is simply not worth worrying about after taking basic precautions which I outlined in my first post. The only way to be *absolutely* certain is abstinence.… Read more »

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Quite a shock this week to read similar points both in Radfem Nicole Daedone’s book, and Rollo’s manosphere blog. Nicole is a woman who teaches easy non-emotional techniques for “unfreezing” a woman’s sexuality, which I started a thread on at PPD.

I won’t look up her book quotes. But I’d recommend it to any who want an inside look at a RadFem’s mind who regrets misjudging “boring” men, and tells women to “wake up” to how they’re being mean to men, and how guys aren’t our enemy.

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Quite a shock this week to read similar points both in Radfem Nicole Daedone’s book, and Rollo’s manosphere blog.

Eh, her book “Slow Sex” is nothing new or special, the Tantrics discuss it better to be honest. Nicole Daedone’s Bachelors in Gender Communications didn’t reallly teach her how to write or edit.

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@YaReally Better to learn in a club, get laid a few times, and THEN bring that vibe into calm casual daygame situs.” This is the ideal path lol but if you don’t have clubs then you gotta make do with what you got. When you say club, my mind instantly pictures waiting in a long line to get into a room packed inch to inch with bodies with music blaring so loud that it physically hurts. Is this the same thing you’re taking about? My mind boggles at the idea of trying to START with that kind of environment. In… Read more »

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@Blaximus Chicks and their retarded cell phone habits are reported across the PUA community, across the Manosphere, across the TRP forums, etc It’s not just my personal experience, we have thousands of guys reporting this shit. Dunno what to tell ya lol @othergrain “When I’m at a party or bar/club, yea most people are pretty engaged with those they’re with.” Yup if you engage them (and make emotional impact) they’ll ignore their phones. But if no one is engaging them (or they’re just hanging with their usual friends (VS catching up on the latest gossip with a girlfriend)), out come… Read more »

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@yareally
Hey man, I am a big fan of your posts and I read all of your comments

I know that you date women only for sex. Can you write a post on how make a girl into a fuck buddie? A step by step guide on what to do and what not to do would be awesome. Or at least some video or book?

Thanks for all the advice here. I don’t post much but I do read as much as I can of what you write.

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@YaReally: (about subway game) thanks I will check that Janka pdf. I don’t know if it was you posting but there was a video of someone (may have been Janka as well) doing a very fast number close on a girl going to catch the bus – he opened and moved fast into logistics to know how much time he had, then focused on conveying potential and qualifying the girl by saying that he wanted to know her better. Don’t think he actually time bridged her in that example. It is funny you brought up the mobile (also saw Max’s… Read more »

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@YaReally: that Janka book is a fun read. The bit about Durex vs Trojan was hilarious. A bunch of it I already knew, others it is easy to interpret given what I already knew. He also has some advice that doesn’t quite match other sources – probably due to the time of writing and having a target rich environment. He is very focused on number closes (at least at time of writing) rather than insta-dates, although he suggests doing the date on the same day as number closing. He is also very ruthlessly focused on Nexting if a girl doesn’t… Read more »

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Yareally Why does thinking make your head hurt? Don’t know how many times we can keep re-explaining to you over and over again that the reason an alpha widow stays alpha to the woman is because he’s not around to fail her shit-tests. First, again, you are not explaining anything to me… and again, this is just one explanation… for the scenario where the guy is actually no longer around… the “burn in” is just as real when the guy is still around, because the Arbiter has made a choice and wants that choice to be the right one… so… Read more »

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Yareally lol man it sounds like this guy’s pLTR kept his wife with him despite him acting beta. Sounds like a great advertisement for how pLTRs make it easier for a guy to keep triggering Hypergamy, thanks for posting it! Can you IMAGINE if he was in a monoLTR? Shit, she’d probably have dumped him fast. Good thing he had that preselection and dread of having another woman on the side that a pLTR naturally creates Reading comprehension fail… Tracy’s wife was – his wife… or more aptly he was her husband… because he was Spencer Tracy… She viewed Hepburn… Read more »

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@fan of yareally This should get ya started, a lot of it is just holding your frame that it’s NORMAL to casually hookup and painting monogamous relationships as lame/boring/restricting/etc: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZANMgG6gTw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SNGJjmlYjE @IAS “He also has some advice that doesn’t quite match other sources” Ya, Janka had tons of girls around him living in NYC so he could Next girls for little things and he didn’t mind the numbers game etc, and back then numbers weren’t as flakey so it wasn’t a bad approach. But it also means that his game has limitations he doesn’t learn how to handle or work… Read more »

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“She viewed Hepburn as a mere rumor…”

While he was actually living with Hepburn.

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I guess I should be thankful that I’m not running into this vast army of tinder users of ANY age. If it’s so absolutely pervasive, where are these hoards? Again, my conclusion is that this is a) regional or by specific areas, or b) racial in some respects. In either case it puts a wet blanket on the idea that it is such a huge factor. You can gather specific data via the question or by the size of the targeted audience. Fascinating stuff. I think the whole ” technology making shit impossibly difficult” is becoming an excuse for a… Read more »

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Question: if a man has been ” passing shit tests”, why would he suddenly start failing them over an extended period?

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Tracey was likely gay and Hepburn was likely a lesbian. I am sure they liked each other though.

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There’s a reason habd always has to point out shit tests when commenters miss them lol Sometimes they’re subtle, sometimes a man’s frame shifts over time, sometimes a pickup sperg (or natural for that matter) gets a shit test they never ran across before, etc. But I guess if you’re talking long term trends…a RP aware man *shouldn’t* suddenly start failing them for an extended period of time. I think the biggest reason comes from a man losing his mental point of origin, forgetting his burden of performance, or relying on relationship equity. A BP man may have just accidentally… Read more »

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Also regarding the “<25yo HB8+/10" situation, check out the new Joe Rogan stand-up on Netflix (whole thing is great) but around 20min in he talks about how the attention fro social media affects girls (briefly, but maybe his pov will be more relatable to you older guys)

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@ othergrain

Morning bruh.

Good take on the shit test thing. Guys should be able to easily maintain frame once it is internalised, but I agree with your reasoning concerning slippage.

Rogan is funny and I def will check him out.

Imo, ” old ” guys should spend copious amounts of time around young folks to provide a level of push back against all of the societal fuckery that’s invasive today. The separation between younger and older is one reason things in general have gone to hell.

Thanks for your input!

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Yareally Actually HABD is not convinced either way yet… Oh okay, then any guy who triggers a girl’s Hypergamy at some point will never lose attraction from her or get cheated on or anything Pure nonsensical fluff from you… You should write up this infallible new system you’ve created that lets guys quit their job, lay around on a couch, beg their girl for sex, supplicate 24/7 and introduce a bunch of high-value alpha guys to her and she’ll brush them all off for her low-value loser. Is Yareally counseling BetaBux as attraction? Odd. High value is in the eye… Read more »

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Othergrain figured it out quick.

I’m still grappling with this ” loss of attraction ” meme.

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Blaximus Question: if a man has been ” passing shit tests”, why would he suddenly start failing them over an extended period? Ironic question, dude. Maybe he got all involved in his feelings, “Mah feelz” and slid into betahood? You wouldn’t know anyone that happened to, would you? From my social and familial circle, men can start failing shit tests: * After the birth of the first child * After a major job change like mustering out of the military or being laid off or retired * When the wife starts making more money than he is * After death… Read more »

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Othergrain
A BP man may have just accidentally flipped attraction switches and passed shit tests, until they got married and had kids and he told himself that he doesn’t have to try to keep her around any longer.

Even a natural player, or even some of the older PUAs figure they eventually find The One and everyting about attraction goes out the window, because true love conquers all.

Yup. Add in a bit of SMV decline on his side and it’s gonna happen. Not just to betas, either.
BP Naturals get frivorced in middle age, too.

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@ AR

I never had a ” shit test ” issue. Hence the question. XD

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Here’s another shoe dropping in Salon. Divorce / frivorce is completely normalized in cases of unhaaaapiness, but now it’s just ordinary discontent that’s good enough. See, even though this man was good enough tomarry, and he was working and all that, he just didn’t do enough choreplay. His chronic MS apparently was a drag. So frivorce solved the problem, and she’s pretty pleased with the results, for now. If she manages to remarry, then open hypergamy will be served. Don’t scoff at the idea of her remarrying, either, lots of thirsty Betas out there. http://www.salon.com/2016/11/20/all-the-single-mamas-raising-kids-isnt-always-easier-with-a-partner/ Comments are pretty interesting in… Read more »

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I never had a ” shit test ” issue. Hence the question.😄

Never had a “loss of attraction” issue, either? So you just woke up one morning and found out you’d been divorced and had no idea what happened? Come on, Blaximus. Get real.

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@ AR

No loss of attraction either. I knew exactly why I got divorced. I was not blind sided. I broke my marriage. I could’ve kept it together, but decided against it.

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@AR

Never had a “loss of attraction” issue, either? So you just woke up one morning and found out you’d been divorced and had no idea what happened? Come on, Blaximus. Get real.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

http://i.imgur.com/VQLGJOL.gif

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Blaximus No loss of attraction either. I knew exactly why I got divorced. I was not blind sided. I broke my marriage. I could’ve kept it together, but decided against it. Huh. That doesn’t look llike what you said before. But no point in going around about it at this point. Notice you didn’t deal with any other things I pointed out that I’ve seen, like declining T or other chronic conditions. That stuff does change a man’s mindset, I’ve watched healthy adult men slowly get ground down pretty badly by a combination of internal and external events. As I… Read more »

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But you’ve never seen it, so it can’t exist, right? Sometimes you are as solipsistic as any girl.

this is the prime weakness of the “it’s just mindset bro!” approach.

because once you get locked in, you stagnate and change (positive or negative) becomes extremely difficult. and you’ll see all of those cognitive biases starting to kick in.

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@ AR I’ve stopped discussing my marriage here, particularly with dudes that haven’t been married because it just turns into a pointless exercise ever time. But…. I like you. I was ” betaized ” for lack of a better descriptor. I changed my behavior purposely to give the wife more ” say ” in our marriage and in our life. That was the mistake. Long story shorter, She never lost attraction, but things were starting to change. If I’d stuck it out on the present course, it’s quite possible that would have been the end result. But it’s a different… Read more »

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Aaaannnndddd perfect example.

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Othergrain But I guess if you’re talking long term trends…a RP aware man *shouldn’t* suddenly start failing them for an extended period of time. I think the biggest reason comes from a man losing his mental point of origin, forgetting his burden of performance, or relying on relationship equity. Agree. Men shouldn’t lose their mental point of origin, no matter what. Totally agree on what should be happening. Just as men shouldn’t develop emphysema that makes walking up one flight of stairs into a major project; men shouldn’t get laid off their long term job just as their wife gets… Read more »

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Blaximus I was ” betaized ” for lack of a better descriptor. I changed my behavior purposely to give the wife more ” say ” in our marriage and in our life. That was the mistake. Long story shorter, She never lost attraction, but things were starting to change. If I’d stuck it out on the present course, it’s quite possible that would have been the end result It’s your life so I take your word for it. However, I bet there was loss of attraction on her part to some degree; betaization does that. In any event, I have… Read more »

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@ AR

I agree. There’s a reason why I beat the ” Develop the proper (RP) mindset ” drum so often. Make it bulletproof, internalize it, and never, ever deviate. In that spirit, I’m speaking from experience.

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Blaximus Imo, ” old ” guys should spend copious amounts of time around young folks to provide a level of push back against all of the societal fuckery that’s invasive today. The separation between younger and older is one reason things in general have gone to hell. Cosign that. Some of the things that old men taught me when I was a young man seemed pointless, but they were there in the back of my head years later when needed. Good thing I was able to spend time around those old men when I could. With the millenial men you… Read more »

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@ AR Can I ask you how old you are? Of course, you don’t have to answer, or maybe you answered long ago and I just don’t recall. Thing about the older men that helped to mold me is that I listened after learning a few things the hard way. I swear to every diety that to this very day I can still hear and see them. I’m having a much harder time with younger males today, in attempting to replicate or pay forward what was done for me, and that which helped me beyond words. They don’t appear to… Read more »

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@yareally “This should get ya started, a lot of it is just holding your frame that it’s NORMAL to casually hookup and painting monogamous relationships as lame/boring/restricting/etc:” Thanks a lot for the videos. One more thing I would like to ask is how to approach a women on the streets. I don’t have much time to go to nightclubs because I am more focused on my career so this is my current option because I see a lot of good looking women on the streets walking here and there. The problem is that they are walking to somewhere and hence… Read more »

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@Sentient “Is Yareally counseling BetaBux as attraction? Odd. High value is in the eye of the beholder Ya. You know that… Externalities not mattering and all…” Quitting your job and laying around on a couch = no ambition/passion. You know, that DPA shit you go on and on about. I keep forgetting not to expect you to connect dots. “Now tell us how long is long enough? specifics?” Depends on the girl, her SMV, her options, and how much the guy fails her shit-tests. That’s why your old post-wall wife you married before Tinder culture will give you a longer… Read more »

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@YaReally Do you even understand the concept of betaization? No, Blax doesn’t because he was never betaized. TRY to relate to younger guys and their world (you know, pace their reality, basic human psychology 101) and the victim mentality you put on when people don’t just snap to attention because the great Blaximus is yapping and nothing Blaximus ever says is wrong and everything he hasn’t seen for his own eyes first-hand is wrong, is what puts them off listening to all your brilliant wisdom? That maybe they’d listen to you if you made even a basic attempt at understanding… Read more »

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@Anonymous Reader “they shouldn’t find a truckload of FI cowshit dumped on their head” The worst part of this is that when a man is going through a fucked up situation, and he knows something isn’t adding up – such that he’s starting to discuss some RP truths with those closest to him (whether or not he knows the term “RP”, or anything of the sort) – those people closest to him will reflexively disagree and tell him that ‘he’s wrong’ and ‘not to go down that path’ et al. The people closest to that guy are going to be… Read more »

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@Joe

Yeah, talking about the RP will create cognitize dissonance and an epistemic crisis in the listeners, so they will automatically react defensively and attack the speaker.

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@theasdgamer “These young guys also think that they are smarter than the OMGs because we’re addled because we’re old. And we seem shallow/robotic because we don’t let our emotions rule us. Because we don’t live like girls, who are the high value gender in today’s culture. Do you get it now?” There are a lot of older guys I’ve met that I respect and listen to. Is that a surprise to anyone? The default assumption tends to be that because I don’t listen to the OMGs here (when they put forth shit that doesn’t hold up infield with <25yo 8+/10s,… Read more »

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@Joe her agency barely counts for shit because biology yep, women are herd creatures and they go with the herd even tho they have agency and know that something is wrong…of course, an alpha trumps the herd, so she will vote Trump because of her husband instead of TheCunt who all her friends support these 2016 social forces are in effect Yep, she has to be trained to avoid these forces…oh, fuck, No, because that would require following obsolete William Fucking Shakespeare and his “Taming of the Shrew.” her work friends are stupid typical chicks who make her worse for… Read more »

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@YaReally

My comment about YSGs wasn’t aimed at you particularly…it was about the young single guys I know and whom I have seen face to face.

The only reason people give a shit about what I have to say is that when they take it infield and test it, it holds up.

Yep, been there, done that, it holds up.

Have you actually tried Taming of the Shrew methods? I have, and they hold up.

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Amazing stuff. Regardless of all of that, Time – the ultimate field, reveals all still. Hey Rollo, serious question because the duplicity confounds me from time to time. Do you think you are writing about old and outdated stuff that doesn’t hold up in 2016 culture? When you get push back from men against RP concepts, is it because you happen to be solipsistic and stubborn? @ YaReally I don’t expect anyone to listen to advice. I only wonder why some guys love to over complicate their lives by thinking they have all the answers to everything, even while they… Read more »

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@Blaxxy “I try to help younger guys with life. So sue me” Don’t play a victim blax you’re better than this… “Some listen, some don’t. I just don’t grasp the general attitude some guys have. ” You don’t grasp alot of stuff, but alas you only know what you know. “. Maybe it’s due to FI influence but something has massively changed in many men that causes them to shun masculine advice and ridicule the attempt to assist.” Maybe you’re just too perfect and vulnerable human beings can’t relate to you. I actually wrote about the 2 most influential people… Read more »

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@ Blaximus In the military we aren’t dismayed by young men who are hard headed and have been raised in a safe and protected bubble. When their inability to listen arises, the pressure is increased until they get it, or until they wash out. Not all men have what it takes to rise in life, and not all men have goals beyond today. It’s nature’s way of separating the wheat from the chaf. You always help who can be helped and forget the rest because they endanger the team. The softness of mind and spirit is troubling, but everyone can’t… Read more »

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@theasdgamer “Have you actually tried Taming of the Shrew methods? I have, and they hold up.” On <25yo 8+/10s raised in Tinder culture for long-term monoLTRs past the NRE stage? Your guys' wives are not <25yo 8+/10s raised in Tinder culture for long-term monoLTRs, and the girls you dance with are not in long-term monoLTRs past the NRE stage with you. The guys that are trying tame the <25yo 8+/10s raised in Tinder culture for long-term monoLTRs past the NRE stage are running into the things I'm talking about. @Blaximus "Hey Rollo, serious question because the duplicity confounds me from… Read more »

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“I try to help younger guys with life.”

@Blaximus

The only thing I see you TRYING to do is reinforce your world view in your own head. God forbid REALITY might not mesh with your mindset. I could see how that might be a dangerous concept. The fact that some people here embrace reality doesn’t mean they’re negative or unhappy. That’s just you reacting to the threat that fact would pose to your identity.

Consider the possibility that someone younger than you might have life more figured out. But I know that’s a scary thought.

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Blax

Maybe it’s due to FI influence but something has massively changed in many men that causes them to shun masculine advice and ridicule the attempt to assist.

Yes the big tell is this here ^^^… their “advice” is squarely advancing the FI, advancing female mating strategies and limiting men via fear and confusion.

and such inconsistency in thought and deed… over and over…

Sad.

PS – Hi Mersonia!

http://www.desktopanimation.net/images/153_Duck.jpg

quack quack…

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YaReally I have some questions for you as you seem to believe you have all of the answers and also have your own personal cheering section here that just loves the conviction with which you blovate here. At the end of the day remember that you are also just a guy on the net. What does your name mean? Where do you live, general area? How old are you? What do you do for a living? College grad, military or high school? At what age did you lose your virginity? At what age did you have your first real relationship?… Read more »

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@Rangers Ricky

Who cares who Yareally is. He could be a sentient IA or a dolphin, the only thing that matters is that what he says aligns with what happens when you go out and hit on hot young chicks.

If a homeless dude drunkenly yells that 2+2=4, you can judge him personally all you want, but you cannot fault that he is saying the truth, since everyone who tried to do 2+2 got 4 as a result.

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@Ranger Ricky Thanks for posting the questions but that’s not how it works. This dude is helping guys try to get pussy. If they get to finger a hot bitch they will carve statues in his honor. For most young men having a hard time getting pussy, it is the ONLY thing of importance in life and that’s what this guy does here. If anyone is talking about anything that’s not related to getting pussy, he pops shit. He is funny and smart, but he is a one track motherfucker for real. He could be a 600 pound bed bound… Read more »

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@AR that salon article reads like a final exam hypo from @Rollo’s “intro to RP 101” class at uni…lol… that’s the next step for the FI… = make frivorce acceptable if the man ‘doesn’t do enough around the house’… even if he does have MS/disability…(which was the real reason = hypergamy not satisfied…) lots of shaming of men in that article… but my ‘favorite’ part is the idea that kids can only learn ‘responsibility’ AFTER the divorce…lol… The single moms I interviewed all mentioned how their children have learned more about responsibility, teamwork and helping others after their divorce than… Read more »

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” . . . everyone who tried to do 2+2 got 4 as a result.”

.62+.62=2, ergo 2+2=2.48

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@ HABD Thanks as always for your responses. I will take what you’ve said regarding the ego investment thing under advisement…after I explain to them what ” ego investment ” means….lol. I see that you’re busy, but allow me to expand on another situation that I’m trying to deal with – Young man, 26 years old. He’s living an ” outlaw ” lifestyle, and not just the larping kind. Heavily armed, dealing multiple drugs, been doing so for about 5 or 6 years. Has a college degree but has not been able to find work ( at an acceptable salary… Read more »

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Good work Blax… The ignorant always think this time things are different… But we have the same biology as forever ago… There is no story you can point to in ancient Rome Greece or Mesopatamia that wouldn’t read like Reality tv script today… Just change the names… The plots are all the same.

Welcome Back to the Future…

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@Blaximus @ HABD Thanks as always for your responses. I will take what you’ve said regarding the ego investment thing under advisement…after I explain to them what ” ego investment ” means….lol. I see that you’re busy, but allow me to expand on another situation that I’m trying to deal with – Young man, 26 years old. He’s living an ” outlaw ” lifestyle, and not just the larping kind. Heavily armed, dealing multiple drugs, been doing so for about 5 or 6 years. Has a college degree but has not been able to find work ( at an acceptable… Read more »

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@Joe K The worst part of this is that when a man is going through a fucked up situation, and he knows something isn’t adding up – such that he’s starting to discuss some RP truths with those closest to him (whether or not he knows the term “RP”, or anything of the sort) – those people closest to him will reflexively disagree and tell him that ‘he’s wrong’ and ‘not to go down that path’ et al. The people closest to that guy are going to be the ones dumping the preponderance of cowshit on his head, because they… Read more »

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@ HABD Man, I can’t believe how On Point you are. Great thoughts. ” ah, yes… the drug dealer career choice… one of my potential ‘career paths’ coming out of school…lol…and if my life had taken just a slightly bigger bounce than becoming ‘scribblerg’ it would have been a done deal…lol… i mean what could be more fun than ‘playing tag’ around the city… and making big money… ” I hear you loud and clear. I wasn’t always a Network/Security Specialist ( 3rd title change ). ” it doesn’t matter if he’s a f*kin genius though, bc most cops are… Read more »

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@ Sentient

thanks bruh.

I’m getting the message clearly. It’s not really worth anymore pushback because guys will believe and understand what they want to. that’s easier and more convenient.

Just wasted potential in my mind. Like, Superman never attempted to fly because earthlings couldn’t fly. And common earthling thinking is that mere mortal men can’t fly unassisted. So Superman just ran really, really fast all over the planet.

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@Pellaeon If you were able to break free from that inner family/friends circle by junior year of college, aka ~age 20, I would drop to my knees and thank Jesus Christ or whoever for figuring that out so young. I’ve absorbed the Red Pill but lately have been considering that there may be a more Heartiste-ian ‘Crimson Pill’ which is even magnitudes darker. I shudder to think what Jim (Heartiste) has come to fully realize, that he’s so filled with hatred towards everyone and everything now in his late 40s….I don’t buy into the racial shit at all, but he’s… Read more »

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@ Blaximus Tinder use is dependent on where you happen to be. Actually tinder is corny and is used by cornballs in particular communities. If you don’t hang out in these places exclusively you will not see it at all. It’s pointless to keep going round in circles about this because no matter what it is subjective. Anyone saying it’s not is retarded. Thousands of guys that all believe exactly the same philosophy all reporting the same thing is not representative of anything but their own observations. Satanists all report similar things. Christians all report similar things. Jihadist report similar… Read more »

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Blaximus, I’m still tracking down a study that may apply to the question you ask up thread.

In the mean time, it’s evident that way too many people under 30 are way too slow moving.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/young-people-old-age-bupa-conditions-older-varicose-veins-back-knee-problems-sedentary-a7436166.html

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@ Blax @ Ranger Let’s solve the mystery and stop giving credence to nonsense. Google” Tinder and Race/Ethnicity “. Read at your leisure. What’s not being stated is that YaReally and all of his cohorts that report and see the same behavior, are in what amounts to homogenized communities. Minorities do not use apps Tinder or any other dating sites, to any significant degree. The more your territory is diverse, the less stuff like that is ever relevant. ” The black guy I hang out with ” is irrelevant. So from his perspective there probably is some kind of 2016… Read more »

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@ AR

Good article. I observe a lot of the same things among young men at my job. A lot of ” elderly” ailments, with back problems being the most prevalent.

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@ Mike Jones I’ve said in the past that there has to be other reasons why I haven’t seen Tinder Culture, and I’ve said that it must be regional in some way. It’s smartphones that are a factor, not a specific app. I just reject the notion that shit like that is changing the world to any meaningful degree. Girls are still just girls. Specifying a specific age-group and hb rating is smoke and mirrors. PEOPLE, male and female, but more specifically females are all being harmed by smartphone usage. I refuse to call it ” technology” as it’s mostly… Read more »

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…. digitally printing heart valves.

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“I refuse to call it ” technology” . . .”

It’s pure fucking magic to most of them.

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@dominus rex If anyone is talking about anything that’s not related to getting pussy, he pops shit. He is funny and smart, but he is a one track motherfucker for real. He could be a 600 pound bed bound man with a laptop and it doesn’t Matter as long as he motivates lost guys to get out. lol, clearly you missed the marriage debates. while yareally mostly talks about pickup, he talks about a lot of deeper shit as well. Thats why, for example, he tends to focus on guys mainly learning good social skills and proper mindsets over just… Read more »

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Nah. Firstly, most guys could get pussy from a hooker.

I’m gonna argue this one. There are huge legal risks associated with attempting to get a hooker in the US, and it is expensive to try to go some where it is legal and purchase seed work form there.

I will likely never work with a prostitute, and it’s not because i think there is anything wrong with paying for sex (that’s half of what modern marriage is anyway).

trackback

[…] enter the workforce most times – a rewarding career that’s fulfilling, but as I wrote in She’s Unhaaapy… that fulfillment is always elusive. Therefore it must be that uncooperative men are holding women […]

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@rby11
https://therationalmale.com/2016/11/16/shes-unhaapppy/comment-page-3/#comment-179288

(“Most wonderful story yet”)

1. I think that girl was already pregnant for some bad ass bozo who skipped and this guy does not know. I dont think that is his baby. She was looking for a daddy for her kid. She played him like a ball.
2. I dont think that gal came.

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Skip to 5:28 mark. Harlow and Susan Wojcicki kill the “patriarchy” women-are-kept-from-STEM argument themselves, yet solipsistically do not realize it. Confirms the point made in this post, that women are “choosing” to move away from tech. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obNsB8zEVOo

Jay McMahon
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Awesome PhD-deep four-dimensional thinking in this one, yet at the same time applicable.
Dissecting the whole is no easy task. Thanks!!

So:

Women are unhappy because they are unhappy.

We’ve just got to be men (i.e. ourselves) and not be too concerned, because wrapping the axle just makes it all worse.

trackback

[…] via She’s Unhaapppy,… — The Rational Male […]

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I remember when Ariana Huffington once said, “This is a world made by men, and it’s not working”. I was like, “WTH?” Leaving aside the ludicrous claim that men alone have made this world what it is, one thing to note is that nearly every single thing you can think of is better today than it has ever been and awareness about the things that are not is at an all time high. A couple of hundred years ago, it was common to lose multiple children because of disease and illness, and we didn’t have epidurals and oh forget it…… Read more »

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Here’s an interview of a famous woman Chief Minister in India https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZOar04g4zk&t=3484s The reporter is positively shocked that the achievement of greatness isn’t as romantic as it seems. She’d like to describe it as something so great and a role model for women, but has to hear the sobering reality that grass only looks greener from the other side. Well, chauvinism in politics notwithstanding, men knew this all along. Greatness is 99% blood, sweat, tears and criticism. It doesn’t get any easier for men, they have to face death threats too. I find sometimes that the feminine mind is the… Read more »

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My, my, my

https://www.dailywire.com/news/18358/study-feminism-leaving-wake-unhappy-unmarried-amanda-prestigiacomo

Looks like 0ne woke up and connected a few pieces last July

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