The Unbearable Rightness of Being Female

unbearable

The following post quote has been making the rounds in professional circles. It’s from Sallie Krawcheck, CEO of Ellevest, an investment firm dedicated to helping women with financial investment (no jargon, no ‘playing’ stocks for sport, no mansplaining, you got this). She’s also the “chair” of Elevate Network, a global professional women’s network. I’m adding this here to make a later point, but it’s important to understand how normalized it’s become for women to create a sexually exclusionary organization for women who will simultaneously complain about men’s sexism for not accommodating their (presumably successful) business culture to the interests of women. More on that later.

I thought I’d riff on this click-bait for, I assume, professional women because I expect we’ll see more of this prefabricated outrage in the coming years as a response to what will undoubtedly be the suffering of the Trump era in America. I’ll be the first to admit I was surprised by Trump’s win, but the denial of the First Female President® into the White House will be the cause du jour for every jilted woman who believes she’s a “professional”. Even if Clinton had won the mainstream would’ve been inundated with how ‘we still have a long way to go’ stories, however, with Trump in the Presidency the same tired narrative of systemic male sexism will get reinvigorated in the coming years.

From, A Letter to young women, in the age of Trump:

When I was your age, I thought it was over. My mother was a feminist, so I wanted to call myself anything but a feminist. And anyway, I seemed pretty welcome at work. Even though it was Wall Street, my analyst class was about a third women. We weren’t just on our way — we’d arrived.

But then…there were the inappropriate pictures left on my desk. The guy miming a sex act when my back was turned. I wasn’t given the great assignments; the more senior woman I worked with was likewise dismissed as “lightweight” (and, lest you think that might have been true, that woman was Safra Catz, now the co-President of Oracle). Then the women started to fall away in their 30s…more in their 40s. But the worst of it, I thought was over.

And now Trump has made it clear to everyone that the battle for us women is not over.

In femopshere there will always be an ‘us’. As I’ve outline in many prior essays, the Sisterhood will always take precedence above religion, politics, personal conviction and even family affiliations for women. Largely this is due to women’s evolved propensity for collectivism among their own sex. In our hunter gatherer beginnings women had an interdependent need for collective support for keeping tribal cohesion as well as child rearing.

This intrasexual collective support has carried over into what’s become the Sisterhood today. If you look at the interactions of young girls and their social group interdependence you begin to see that nascent tribal collectivism naturally come through. In terms of larger societal scope this collectivity becomes about acknowledging a shared experience of an imagined oppression by men. Between all women there is a gestalt understanding of “the plight of women” and a presumption of an endemic sexism no matter how culturally or socioeconomically dissimilar those women are.

As I mentioned, Trump is now a universal icon of that presumption of sexism and oppression. Granted, it could’ve been any man who displaced a woman in the history books, but the fall back presumption is that whoever ‘he’ is, he becomes emblematic of a ready narrative of sexism irrespective of merit. We presume sexism, we presume a guy would mime a sex act behind a woman’s back and leave ‘inappropriate’ pictures on a woman’s desk despite decades of workplace harassment legislation. We believe it because it sounds right; it sounds like something a typical sexist guy would do.

I can’t stop thinking about this and what we can / should do:

Remember that gender bias in the workplace is not a thing of the past. I’m sorry if I didn’t act when I should have. I thought we had left sexism behind us by the time I was in more senior roles. After all, we had complaint hotlines and diversity plans and requirements for diverse slates of candidates for every job. But now I’m remembering one of the members of the senior leadership team who would kiss younger women on the cheek at the beginning of meetings. Creepy, right? I now wonder what was being said when I wasn’t in that room.

What’s creepy is that in spite of years in a professional field that’s been the domain of men she’s just now remembering this fact. Would it have been less creepy if he’d kissed only his age-appropriate women on his leadership team? Professional women’s default presumption is that it is always sexism that is holding them back from breaking through a mythologized ‘glass ceiling’, but as is women’s solipsism, their first thought is that their problems are caused by externalities. Never is there an insight that they may simply lack the skills or that they don’t perform at their peak in a job they were told should be rewarding to them.

Gender biases will never be a thing of the past because to suggest they ever might be so is to presume a default state of egalitarian equality between the sexes. The gender biases in the workplace are most evident in the peer selection and peer evaluations of women – not some secret group of guys getting together in a private office room to expressly talk about a their co-workers’ tits.

As it stands in today’s modern office men are scared shitless every time they are called to cooperate with a woman on work projects for fear of being accused of sexism or harassment:

“In a lawsuit-happy culture, where claims can be made on a ‘he said/she said’ basis, men are now trying to ensure their actions are always covered by a third party witness”

“The terror of being accused of sexual harassment is now so common it has its own term, ‘backlash stress”

There’s a reason HR departments are largely staffed by women, because they want to be positioned in a way that they can execute policy. HR departments no longer exist to serve the company with regards to employees, rather they exist in order to protect that company from lawsuits and enforce feminine-primary conditions in the workplace.

Ask tough questions, and call the guys out when necessary. I recently asked my best guy friend: “Do guys really talk like Donald Trump and Billy Bush behind closed doors?” His response: “No, but…” And the “but” was that the conversations are more along the lines of: “Boy, she has great legs,” or “she’s a looker” or “Whew. Wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole.” When I asked him how he responded to this, he said he didn’t say anything; after all, he has to work with these folks.

But so do we. And breaking us down to our body parts or our appearance dehumanizes us in some way. Maybe it’s only in some small way. But it’s clear that for some years, we (and by we, I mean I) were likely too complacent about the inevitability of gender progress in the workplace and relaxed perhaps just a bit too much.

It’s funny and irreverent when all the girls in the office get together for drinks or a male revue strip show after work, but it’s dehumanizing when men do the same. I’ve known very few men who would ever comment on a woman’s anatomy in a workplace environment. I have known men who would scold other men for staring a little too long at a female co-worker. I have known women to actively flirt with guys and wear inappropriate outfits to get attention from them. I’ve known women who’ve called me and other men I’ve worked with their “work husbands”.

I’ve worked in the liquor and casino promotion businesses for two decades now. I see some pretty wild behavior on the part of women who are not unlike the poor victimized dears Krawcheck describes going to work on Monday mornings.

The modern workplace culture has conditioned men for fear of women thanks largely to strict codes of conduct, but also because these men have been raised from birth to be dutiful Betas and White Knights who look for every opportunity to correct a ‘typical man’ for his sexist and rude behaviors. They look for these backroom boys clubs where women are rated on their looks so as to expose their heinous misogyny and institutionalized sexism, but they are disappointed when they don’t actually find it. So instead they contribute to an atmosphere of fear in some lame form of Beta Game they hope will be recognized and rewarded for by workplace women.

If you’re in a bad work situation, it’s ok to quit. So many women think that it’s a “failure” if you quit your job; and you know how hard we females take failure. But sometimes it’s not us: it’s them.

I recently left the board of a non-profit that I LOVE. I had been on it for years (and years). At nearly every meeting I asked how much we were spending on our investment managers, in comparison to the return we were getting. Meeting after meeting I was told that the answer was complex, it was hard to calculate, it would take a lot of work – and why did it matter anyway? It was really the net returns that matter, regardless of how much we paid for them. And then, last spring, before I could bring up the topic, one of the men did; and all the other guys eagerly agreed with him, that we need to keep an eye on fees because those are really all we can control.

I quit the next week.

Life is too short, and I can have a lot more impact with the week-a-year I get back instead of being ignored in meetings.

I know not everyone is in the position to quit; I wasn’t earlier in my career. So the onus is also on those of us who are more senior to be more supportive of women who leave these situations. I am hopeful that an outcome of this election will be greater understanding of this.

If it had been a woman who’d made the same suggestion would we be hearing about this? Shit like this happens all the time in the workplace. One reason The 48 Laws of Power resonated with men so well is because it was relatable to exactly this kind of situation. Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit for it yourself. Sallie sees this as sexism because it happened to be a guy who pulled it on her, but would she have quit the non-profit had it been a woman who outplayed her?

This is the reality of even the most seemingly benign of companies. They are defined by the interplay of power dynamics, but when women are bested in it the sexism narrative is ready on standby to comfort and explain their failure. So it becomes OK to quit, because the environment is always sexist. The business environment is one defined by competition and this grates on women’s expectation of it to be cooperative and collective. Women like Sallie expect recognition for merit, but wish for things to be easier rather than developing the skills to play the game better.

Get yourself a senior, successful – preferably female – mentor, who can help you navigate the politics of your company. This includes the gender politics. Can’t find one on your own? Speak to HR about helping you find one; this is their job, after all.

Your company doesn’t have a senior, successful female? Get the hell out of there.

Really the only sexism I’m seeing in this piece has been one coming from and endorsed by Krawcheck. She bemoans a lack of gender equity and then suggests a female mentor would be preferable to a male one. Her sexism is blatant here – the only definition of a solid reputable company is one that ensures it has a senior, successful female in it. Since most HR departments are staffed primarily with women it’s their job to help you find a senior, successful and female mentor? I’m not a business insider, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t their job.

I made this point in Male Space, but what happens when women insert themselves into a traditionally male dominated domain is that the enterprise becomes about accommodating the female influences rather than the enterprise itself. This entire article is an indictment of this. Again, the solution to a woman’s problem of not being successful is sought externally.

Do your best to make sure that your success is quantified. Be it a sales goal, a client satisfaction rating, an output metric, a quality target. Numbers count here because they’re black-and-white, cut-and-dried. Were you successful or not? I recommend this even if you work in a “normal” company, because implicit gender biases and expectations still exist for all of us.

Solid enough advice, but it’s couched in the context of an expectation of gender biases (at least the type of bias Sallie finds unacceptable). There’re implicit gender biases, but the ones we see dominate even ‘normal’ companies are ones that favor a feminized workforce.

Think about starting your own thing. This is what’s exciting; we have the ability to start our own businesses today, in a way we didn’t in the past. Why not take our marbles to our own playgrounds and build great businesses and cultures? Our mothers couldn’t do this because the cost was so high – but the costs of everything-about-starting-a-business, including technology, people (i.e., freelancers), real estate (co-working spaces) and support services are coming down. And then no one can relegate you to the less-interesting jobs.

Women are taught that they deserve the luxury of interesting jobs. In fact this is the sole reason for even wanting to enter the workforce most times – a rewarding career that’s fulfilling, but as I wrote in She’s Unhaaapy… that fulfillment is always elusive. Therefore it must be that uncooperative men are holding women back from this happiness.

I’m not sure opening another gourmet cupcake eatery counts as contributing to the status of women in business, but I would say that women ought to be encouraged to start up their own businesses rather than rely on the proven successes of established ones to prove their business acumen. Carly Fiorina and Sheryl Sandberg are not innovators in any sense. Neither started a company from scratch, but they are lauded as powerful businesswomen because they supposedly had the moxie to compete with the big boys and their sexist enterprises – not actually as a result of their companies wanting to present a feminine-correct public image.

I would love to see women’s organic business successes despite themselves, but my guess is that every failure or setback would have some tinge of external sexism attached to them. The truth is there are very few women who actually create something of worth because the easier path to success is to create a social convention that shames men for not including women in their own successes. It will always be easier for women to appropriate the success of men rather than create anything for themselves.

I am going to go out of my way to support other women. It’s clear now: we can’t do this alone. Another woman who is promoted or celebrated or funded clears the way for another. I am actively looking to buy from women-owned businesses, which is much easier these days — Glossier, Outdoor Voices, and Project September are just a few of a new wave of startups led by women — and avoid companies that remain all-men. I’m just so over supporting them.

And here we have yet more fem-centric sexism in a piece decrying male sexism. Weren’t we just reading about how surprised Sallie was about gender bias not being a thing of the past in the workplace? Because Trump won the election she calls for a boycott from buying anything from male owned companies?

One thing I’ve always found ironic about women’s call for collective, gender-exclusionary support for other women is that women are often guilty of even worse infighting than men are in the workplace. Lets face it, women hate other women to a degree that most men are unaware of. Their capacity for sub-communication and psychological warfare among themselves makes intra-sexual competition more brutal than having to deal with any so-called sexist male co-worker. From women’s collectivist perspective one would think that women’s intra-sexual support of other women would make them all outstanding successes in business, but we find the opposite is true. Women have a very hard time making an all-female enterprise a success. Naturally this is blamed, again, on men’s sexists brinksmanship and outmaneuvering them, but by and large it’s internal conflict that destroys all-female run enterprises.

Invest. Having spent my career on Wall Street and now being the founder of Ellevest, a digital investment platform for women, I know I’m a broken record on this topic. But men invest to a greater extent than women do, and it costs us. Indeed, I believe investing is the best career advice women aren’t getting. Think about it – are you more able to tell your boss to take this job and shove it if you have more money or less money?

That’s what I thought. At the end of the day, money is the real key to gender equality.

Of course we get the sales pitch at the end. Women don’t invest because it’s not sexy. It requires a degree of commitment and a depth of insight that goes well beyond what an average woman has any interest in. I do find it entertaining that Sallie finally gets to the real reason for a gender inequality she claims she wants to see abolished. Money is most definitely a key to establishing social dominance and that creates a fundamentally unequal condition between men and women.

Businesses, successful ones, are founded on competition, not cooperation. This is the fundamental conflict we are experiencing in today’s corporate culture; women’s collectivism promotes what they believe should be a successful enterprise based on egalitarian cooperation while men largely see the enterprise as competition. Sometimes this is a win-at-any-cost type of competition, other times it may be more subtle, but the crux is that women’s propensity to want for a more collectivist approach to a successful enterprise is at odds with men’s competitive approach. Success in business is fundamentally unegalitarian, there are winners and losers, not co-equal participation trophy winners. But as women continue to insert themselves into the unegalitarian male spaces of enterprise we will see this push for cooperative hopes for business success fundamentally alter the purpose of these businesses as we attempt more and more to accommodate them.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“I guarantee you if you talk to models like you talk to chicks you just want to chill with or be friends with, you aren’t going anywhere.

if you approach a model in a club the same way you approach a hot chick at the grocery store, you aren’t going anywhere due to the societal constraints and norms inherent to each place.”

That sounds suspiciously like you need to adapt your tactics to the specific nature of the enemy and the specific terrain you will be fighting on.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ SFC Ton ” So much of this frame and Game stuff is all about having the balls to just do it it seems particularly hard to give a concrete action plan ” Yeah this. That’s what it mostly boils down to in the final analysis. But I’m cool with a dude wanting/needing information and explanation. But to assume that *I* am wrong somehow because I no longer require these things and have a few things handled already is patently absurd. I can go outside and get in my car right now and drive from Jersey to LA without a… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Never minded being challenged by the young bulls.
It’s their job

SFC Ton
4 years ago

But I’m cool with a dude wanting/needing information and explanation. But to assume that *I* am wrong somehow because I no longer require these things and have a few things handled already is patently absurd. Balx

Legit

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

” Never minded being challenged by the young bulls.
It’s their job”

True dat.

I’ll go for a burger.

scray
scray
4 years ago

@blax Man, you still have stuff to learn ( but what do I know…I’m a condescending dude that doesn’t help anyone ). hey, maybe…but so far, doesn’t look like you’re the one to teach. i mean look at how reactive you are, dude. i give you honest feedback and you just shut down and go off on the “but i guess i’m just a SILLY DUMB DUMB HUH SCRAY i guess NOTHING MATTERS THAT I SAY, HUH?” that feel you’re feeling — whether you can admit it or not — is being challenged, whether by others or circumstance. you probably… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

I’m not the one to say step by step no how

I never set out to be with chicks; that kind of happened as a byproduct of other pursuits and being sexist as fuck.

Approach a chick and get laid? Awesome. Crash and burn and it’s funny as hell to retell? Also awesome

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“Never minded being challenged by the young bulls.
It’s their job”

Just as it’s the old bull’s job to knock them on their asses when they start getting too cocky.

scray
scray
4 years ago

@kfg

Just as it’s the old bull’s job to knock them on their asses when they start getting too cocky.

ya I’ve been waiting for that but been too busy handing every one of you guys your asses for the last few threads….

comment image

any time now would be good.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

“…. rise to the occasion. prove me wrong.”

There’s no value in that for me.

scray
scray
4 years ago

@blax

There’s no value in that for me.

Not according to YOU:

Lol, I’m trying to encourage guys to do what they think is hard or not really possible. Life is opportunity mostly.

his is where YaReally is correct when he says that I might just not be good at explaining stuff. ( along with a bunch of other commenters… I’m working on it though ).

So which is it, lol?

Proving me wrong = giving concrete advice = get better at explaining shit.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

I am an easy going dude. Doesn’t usually bother me when they step up. Normally it’s a big deal for them and to me it’s just Tuesday. My Old Man rode with 81 when I was a kid. Those guys showed my dumb ass a lot of lee way. Try to return the favor these days

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
4 years ago

Ahaha, maybe it’s just the Laphroaig but this thread is fun again.

Thanks ‘Ton, that’s some sense.

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
4 years ago

@AR

“Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic despair, far as I can tell.

Self killing is another thing that men are much, much better at than girls. Number prove it.”

Ya, I mean, this is part of it. That’s the usual sort of explanation we have around the Androsphere. Another is the idealistic notions men tend to hold about relationships.

I’m proposing that the simple external factors of, more often than not, having little to no outside support may contribute as well.

No-one likes to see a grown man cry. So they avoid sad men.

YaReally
4 years ago

Weird, I haven’t posted in this thread at all and it’s still full of petty snark, guys insulting me, condescension, misrepresentation of everyone’s points, and no one actually talking about Rollo’s article. The RSD videos and I are CLEARLY the problem around here. But don’t worry, this’ll probably be my last post. @Rollo Tyler made a video just for you specifically, I time-stamped it at 1:25:27 so no one wastes their time on this useless advertising content: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3uiuuIs14o&t=1h25m27s He’s extending an invite if you want it. Can you make it to 1:28:28 without turning it off? Because I bet you… Read more »

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

@YaReally

Actually you are dead to Rollo ever since the looks debate in summer.

Anyway, take care.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

Damn. I just had something called a Waygu burger. Shit, it was amazing.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Waygu beef is amazing

Use to only get it in the Japan but iirc some dudes smuggled Waygu eggs and jizz out of Japan and into Norway

Some dudes get all the cool missions

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

SFC Ton

I damn near licked the container. I only have a couple of burgers from ” outside ” a couple of times a month, but even at 15 bucks, I’ll have to consider this as the go to.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

1st ran into it in Dubai. Paid $24 for a burger which I thought was crazy but what the hell? 1st trip there and what not.

The crazy part was going back. Always tried to make that place my 1st stop when I hit the UAE

theasdgamer
4 years ago

A load of catty shit from YaReally…seriously get back on your meds.

redlight
redlight
4 years ago

Well, you wore out your welcome
With random precision
Rode on the steel breeze
Come on you raver, you seer of visions;
Come on you player, you piper,
You prisoner, and shine

murraystreet
murraystreet
4 years ago

I just hope Rollo actually goes through with the Field Report subforum and we can just do our thing and keep talking about PUA in our little sandbox and OMGs can keep doing their thing over here. Rollo gets to keep traffic hits and we’re all happy. The comments section has been a shit show for a while now.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

Wagyu cattle are here and there. Never tried “American Kobe”. Maybe you should sell it to the horsey set, Ton. I’m sure they’d pay whatever.

https://infogalactic.com/info/Wagyu

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

“…The comments section has been a shit show for a while now.”

I wonder why that’s been the case? Objectively, that is.

( hint: re-read the last 15 or so comments to get an idea. Obvious is obvious )

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

1st ran into it in Dubai. Paid $24 for a burger which I thought was crazy but what the hell?

I’m sure a man can get almost anything in the Emirates, given enough money.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ AR

I read up a little bit after I finished losing my shit over the tastiness.

I even found a few retailers, but the more honest ones admit that their stuff is Wagyu bred with something else like Angus.

I found a pound of Wagyu/Angus and it was 17 bucks for 1 pound.

redlight
redlight
4 years ago

quote mining June 18:

Like Tyler says: Memory is state-accessed …
… the married guys will take offense to this but to me ugly is ugly. I’ll hear rants about how “my wife’s wrinkled hands are sexy to me because those hands passed my newborn son to me” and that’s cool if that’s your thing, but like, to me I just see wrinkled ugly hands lol

… to me locking down to one vag means I’m just going to end up fucking an old wrinkly vag at some point.

stuffinbox
4 years ago

Wow taken in context from 23 mins in that video says the boss rollo is trying to fix the system and the employees are doing the shit talking.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

“…The comments section has been a shit show for a while now.”

It’s the cycle of life in comments.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6GKTVXxwtNU/T8TI9Q_LQ1I/AAAAAAAABHk/4Q4VCB1M7Dk/s1600/cyclesoflife-blog.jpg

stuffinbox
4 years ago

Tried a yak burger that is good,juicy.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ redlight I’m resisting the urge to remind YaReally of a lot of the stuff he’s been saying and stating as fact. I’m actually hoping he does return at some point because as much as we may bump heads, I actually like him ( as much as you can like a screen name on the web ) and he does provide a different perspective that’s been needed. But his memory is short and selective. I even called him out as to why talk shit about guys wives, marriages and especially daughters ( recall the ” their daughters will be blowing/sucking… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
4 years ago

@pua @culum @forge @yareally A few days ago I mentioned how I was joking with my boss and a regular about how I was secretly gay. And my boss says “You’re not gay hank.” very firmly, like I am being ridiculous. Well I saw the same thing happen in one of the RSD vids. Tyler goes on about how he’s really shy and she says in the same tone “You aren’t shy.” Anyway, I thought it was interesting. Its at 8:02 And RSD is not endorsed by TRM, don’t buy their products https://youtu.be/6o8k430ufLA?t=482 Same girl at work that was coming… Read more »

redlight
redlight
4 years ago

@hank

remember your elaborate plan for day2? Well that is much better than this group sexget together. Instead the sooner the better, if this weekend is out (why?), what about Monday?

btw do you still think Ya is Owen?

Zhu Wuneng
Zhu Wuneng
4 years ago

@yareally Nothing you said in your last post looked wrong to me or was different from what I have observed in the comments. You’ll probably get some pushback for some of what you’ve said in the past, not because it’s not true, but more because it stung (and might have been unnecessary). I’ll also note that there I haven’t seen a successful refutation of anything you’ve asserted here as representative of how things work. The “looks matter” debate was a total blow-out and (for me) really tarnished my opinion of some of the participants on the “money, status, looks” side.… Read more »

Softek
Softek
4 years ago

@ YaReally This is why I think a FR section in the comments would be a good idea. You would definitely shine there and it would also make sense as per Rollo’s assertion that Game and RP theory are two sides of the same coin. The best advice is always specific and personal. A FR section would be perfect for this. And also clean up the comment section on the main articles. You’ve helped me a lot with personal advice you’ve given me about my specific situation(s). Very valuable stuff. And the best way to help guys would be to… Read more »

othergrain
othergrain
4 years ago

@YaReally From a long-time lurker, thank you. Your archive helped me more than -anything- else, RP or PUA. I don’t think you know how many lives you’ve changed. You’ve been saying this from day one but: “Keep at it and use your own discretion about what’s helpful or not helpful and understand that someone can have both useful and not-useful advice and you should test everything to see for yourself what holds up under pressure-testing.” Is probably my biggest takeaway from you. All the commenters (and countless lurkers) who agree with you here know you spit the truth, report from… Read more »

IAS
IAS
4 years ago

@YaReally, Scray, Hank, PUA. FR (going again tonight so any input meanwhile is welcomed). This is in a non-English country where I know only 3 sentences of native language. I got to the venue early (free entry before midnight – I got there at 22:30 and it was essentially empty. I warm up by greeting some other guy that was also there, then went to look around, asked a 2-set dressed in similar clothes “I got here too early?” “Yes” “What about you?” “What about us” “You also are here early” “We *work* here…” I shrug and eject. Advice for… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

There is a shit ton of fraud in labeling in the industry. Not sure if it’s poorly regulated or just no way to control it. The steak place in town has a beef agent to ensure quality etc and they still get it in the short pants

SFC Ton
4 years ago

The it’s a bad place for chicks/ there is no night clubs sounds like a cop-out.

Trying hunting pussy on some fob in Afghanistan where it’s 78 hog legs per whisker-biscuit. Hell their are convicts banging lady CO ‘s.

The worse the odds, the better the story the more glory showered on you in poon slaying Valhalla

IAS
IAS
4 years ago

@YaReally: I’m usually on board with you all the way, but I still think you are over reacting to this thing by Rollo. When the “FR” YSG commented on the helpfulness of the RSD videos, he rather quickly changed his mind and reversed his decision and unbanned the RSD videos. If he was as stuck in his ways as you currently seem to believe, why would he have reversed his ban? He has some reservations (most of which are valid) about PUA tactics (Children with dynamite is a good post, in my mind) when they aren’t backed up by enough… Read more »

stuffinbox
4 years ago

@Ton @Hank

I’ve gone where I want when I want for as long as I can remember,pack a bag and stick a thumb out and start walking.You will get there eventualy.

Always had itchy feet as a youth,somewhere else looked better,fool for the city.

Really small town chicks have more sex,there is less else for them to do.

Had this fine looking milf verry,discreet,in a small town shit i could write a novel about her.

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Saddle tramped around a lot. Much less so these days but I agree stuff.

I think fellas would be surprised how strange and mysterious and exciting they get by doing something as routine showing up in a beach town on bike during the off season. Or some such

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

WHAT? Someone finds hands of of 50 year old women wrinkly and not pretty? And he says that young girls going to EDM festival actually have sex there? WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY??? :> Where is kfg with his mental gymnastics on insults when you need him. (((( — These responses. :> Gee guys I wonder why no one is listening. After you keep shooting yourselves in the foot for months. Wonder if anyone will actually reasonably respond to the points that keep riling you up. Its always something like “hes using undebatable style”, “hes seducing the newbies and were powerless”,… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

I see now blax that you didnt bother responding to the latest scrays comment, wonder how that looks😉 )
———

Perhaps like an adult with more important shit to do then trying to win some pointless interwebz debate…..

Not sure what’s going on myself. Fuck some how I got labeled anti RSD when I don’t have a dog in the fight. I generally skim the text walls; seems like a barrage of unnecessary verbiage more suited to pre teen chicks then grown ass men with hair on their peaches.

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

Where did you get labeled? DId someone tag you?

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Naw man wasn’t you, don’t recall who nor does it matter

Meant that more of example of how it’s getting out of hand and sucking in the bystanders

stuffinbox
4 years ago

@Ton

My favorite steak house has a profitable plan.It is either prime rib night or fillet mignon night ect.you can’t order off the menu only the size of cut,baked or mash,house salad and house dressing.They are always average busy 10min wait is the longest I’ve had.Got a tough cut of prime once,I think they found Bob’s lost bull,sent it back and 5 mins later got a good tender cut.

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

I see you didnt even read the comments. Yea, you dont need to know the context before responding. :>

Props for not whining that people dont listen to you at least.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Hank It’s not a generation divide for the most part. I talk to and interact with many guys in their 20’s, and not all of them can’t grasp many concepts that they are unfamiliar with, nor do they outright reject them because of inexperience. Some are exactly like that though. It is a perspective problem. A narrow field of vision problem. An experience problem. Just because a group of guys can get together and share a certain limited mindset does not mean their conclusions apply broadly for every man. That’s what’s at the core of issues in the comments,… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Everyone has an off night, it’s about how the joint sets it right again

BUT I thought shooting hajjis was a dirty bidness, ain’t got nothing on the bar/ restaurant industry. My used car lot is more honest then a lot of of them

stuffinbox
4 years ago

now you got me thinking Ton

Haven’t been in the wind for two months,it”s colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
I need to plan this gig and book a flight to Daytona,rent a scooter and ride to clearwater to see the old man before he croaks.

redlight
redlight
4 years ago

https://youtu.be/snHLB66qFsg technically a “wrinkled vag” will be the very least of problems post menopause. This is common: Vaginal Atrophy The cause of atrophic vaginitis is a decline in estrogen. Without estrogen, vaginal tissue thins and dries out. It becomes less elastic, more fragile, and more easily injured. Symptoms can include: thinning of the vaginal walls shortening and tightening of the vaginal canal lack of vaginal moisture (vaginal dryness) vaginal burning (inflammation) spotting of blood after intercourse discomfort or pain during intercourse pain or burning with urination more frequent urinary tract infections urinary incontinence (involuntary leakage) Similarly aging of hands will… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago
Reply to  redlight

Great read Patience and waiting, they are not the same thing. Something Ive realized over the years, the people that want to “wait” the most are the people that value their time the least. There is no “good” day to start. There are simply days, the only difference between them is what you acted upon. We mark the passage of time with milestones, achievements, or nothingness. 2016 is almost over. How many days will you remember from it? How many days will be forgotten, lost to time, and not good enough for memory? When we die, we remember moments, people,… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

LOL I am roughly aware of the rift and the broad points. Don’t see where either matters that much. And in theory we are grows ass men. Make you point, disagree etc answer move on to the next objective I like most of the dudes here and there is maybe 3 regular commentors I would not have a couple of shoots with but I’d be pissed if y’all harshed my mellow arguing over dumbshit like these walls of texts. And if I was Rollo I’d be doubly pissed. Especially about the videos. Basically pimping a comerical product on someone else’s… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Ahhh a worthy journey Stuff

stuffinbox
4 years ago

something in life or any business,everyone makes mistakes,it is how you recover that makes the biggest impact.

Having a good batting average is great but pulling one out in the pinch is way better,this has more impact and is the best advertising you can get Ton.

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago
Reply to  stuffinbox
DisgruntledEarthling
DisgruntledEarthling
4 years ago

@rugby11

“2016 is almost over. How many days will you remember from it? ”

Haha – plenty. For me, at 57, it’s been the year of the pussy. One of the best years in the past 30..

Recovering nicely from my hernia surgery 2 days ago, off the morphine, looking forward to better things ahead.

As for here, let’s see where the dust settles…

stuffinbox
4 years ago

All good advice Ruggby

stuffinbox
4 years ago

The old Texas pump jack in this photo has seen its share of stuffing box leaks over the years. The “stuffing box”, is what seals off the polished rod and keeps oil from coming out of the top of the well. An oilfield pumper or gauger has to routinely tighten and maintain a pumpjack well’s stuffing box to keep it from leaking. There are hundreds of small stripper wells like this one in Texas. Some, like the one in this photo, are in need of some cleaning up by their owners.

Klem
Klem
4 years ago

@Ya

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Dunno if you’ll keep posting or not, but a huge thanks for all your contributions throughout the years, it really made a positive impact on my life!

dr zipper
dr zipper
4 years ago

@Ya – change your name to NoReally

Always enjoyed your posts and the way you explain. So detached that you might have a bit o’ psychopath in you. Kind of weird to say to an internet stranger but yes, you have made a real and positive impact in my life so Thank You.

Wish you the best and hope you resurface.

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago
Reply to  dr zipper

CSP
Online dating
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NFM

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Don’t worry kids… Yareally’s suicide note isn’t real… Just a gamma tic. He will continue to post.

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“I don’t hope for his suicide and I don’t need it to prove a point because there are countless guys who kill themselves . . .”

. . . as a result of learning to get laid and finding out that the only problem it solved was that of getting laid and none of the underlying problems.

Welcome to the field test jungle, here’s your noose.

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

A starving man’s first priority is to get food, but once his stomach is full he might start to notice that the reason he was hungry is because he’s cold, wet and sitting in a mud hole. Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him; He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim. And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, “Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked. And he was rich – yes, richer… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
4 years ago

Didn’t have time to read the last thread, sounds like I missed some shit. @Rollo Basically agree with you re: Owen; his PUA stuff is great. His positive-thinking stuff is useful in some contexts but isn’t a very well-developed philosophy. That said I don’t think he means it as a scam or anything….just a way forward he thinks might help people too. What’s this meetup about? @Sentient Don’t think you have YaReally pegged right. What you see isn’t gamma, it’s monomania. It can look similar as gammas are basically monomaniacs regarding their own ego investments. Ain’t nothing wrong with monomania,… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago
Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Monomaniacs don’t pucker their ass and storm off when challenged Forge. Or go to extrodaniary lengths to “win” a point. Monomaniacs can have their secret king status challenged, and not feel their self identity is at risk. That is the difference

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“It’s about $3K . . .”

. . . but it’s not a scam.

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

7. Donating Your Time and Talents You can deduct certain expenses for charity work, such the cost of gas and oil if you use your car to get to and from the place you volunteer. If you don’t want to calculate the value per mile you can deduct, a standard rate of 14 cents per mile is acceptable. You can also deduct the cost of purchasing and maintaining uniforms you wear to a place you volunteer, or parking in a garage if that’s required. https://www.gobankingrates.com/personal-finance/49-special-tax-deductions-dont/ 9. Job Search Expenses If you itemize, you can deduct expenses you incurred during a… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

As a response to the feminist “Male Privilege Checklist” I’m going to codify the privileges that most if not all females enjoy. 1. From an early age the opposite sex will be instructed never to hit me but I may not be given the same instructions. However, should I strike males I can expect not to be hit back and any social penalties that occur from my actions will actually fall on the male. 2. If I’m not smart, but pretty, I can marry and achieve the social and financial level of my husband without ever working. 3. I can… Read more »

othergrain
othergrain
4 years ago

Rollo If you do their boot camp, try to do it without an ulterior motive, without a confirmation bias. What is the reason you want to do it? Just to talk to the guys? I’m sure you could reach out to them and just meet up for free… Also, they may have you sign some sort of non disclosure so you wouldn’t be able to report back or post about it. But like I said, if he’s read your book(s) and found value in them, reach out to him for an honest conversation. And I don’t think you were seriously… Read more »

stuffinbox
4 years ago

Rollo never had any doubts on your stance no mystery clear enough the first time.
I will keep my 3k in pocket!

murraystreet
murraystreet
4 years ago

Yea Rollo could definitely contact Owen and propose to meet for coffee or some shit. Owen is a social guy always trying to expand his network and he knows who Rollo is.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Owen amd Papa will comp Rollo because they want his audience feed as an affiliate. And they will buy him dinner. Probably offer to do a special infield as a “cross promotion” for TRM… You know to drive their traffic to TRM…

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

@Othergrain: Get together a dozen guys and I’ll give a Friday evening through Sunday afternoon cycling bootcamp, for an order of magnitude less money, and make a decent penny out of it, despite my insurance costs being rather higher than theirs. For three grand I’ll put them up in a house, with private rooms, servants and top shelf meals included, not some crappy hotel, but I won’t have an easy time looking at myself in the mirror come Monday morning. I’ll know I’ve been taking advantage of desperate idiots. Some people don’t mind doing that sort of thing. Some do.… Read more »

murraystreet
murraystreet
4 years ago

You’re right, listen to Sentient. Don’t get in touch with them, don’t explore opportunities. Don’t network. Don’t ever think of making a free video with them or anything crazy like that. Stay DPA, bro.Stay DPA.

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

In fact, if Owen is moving into teaching life game, and not just pickup, his first lesson to his students ought to be to demand 9/10ths of their money back.

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

@kfg

What would be fair price and how should it be decided?

@culum

Maybe culum can write a review of their bootcamp I think he took one in the past.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Stuff See, that’s why I am a fan of learning and gaining knowledge wherever it become available. I always thought your screen name meant ” stuff in (a) box “. Before the explanation you posted, I couldn’t tell you what a Stuffing Box was if you held a gun to my head. I woulda just been one dead motherfucker. But now I know something that I didn’t know before. I spent a few minutes googling stuffing box and I actually understand it’s purpose and how it works. http://www.pacificmarine.net/images/marine-stuffing-box/how-to-install-a-stuffing-box.jpg ( oil, water, any liquid. Good shit..) @ othergrain ” And… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Sentient

@ Forge

The funny thing is, just prior to YaReally’s victim fit, scray was just telling me that I wasn’t used to being ” challenged ” because I was ” tall and strong ” or whatever.

Patently false. Crazy actually.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ kfg

I still remember this very clearly –

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIobdRNLNek&w=640&h=360%5D

I just never realized that commercial aircraft didn’t fly globally.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCS0YHm_58c&w=640&h=360%5D

The next time I help anyone with anything, I’m going to bill them. Fuck this, I need a G650 or whatever it is.

theasdgamer
4 years ago

I see now blax that you didnt bother responding to the latest scrays comment, wonder how that looks ) Good thing you pointed that out or none of us might have noticed. I couldn’t be bothered with detailed replies to catshit as I was going out…and had a spectacular time…saw an old friend I hadn’t seen for months and danced a lot with her…sweet girl…was asked to dance by two or three hotties…partied with some cool blue collar guys and their wives (of course, the husbands asked me to dance with their wives although one said that he liked to… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
4 years ago

Blaximus “Not good to see any man struggling and suffering.” In the last 6 mouths i lost 4 people to suicide. Last week i buddy i grew up through high school and most of my adult life took his own life. What kept me in a blue pill context for much of my life was wanted to better other men. The irony and paradox is that only happens when you do it for yourself. I have many flaws more than anyone else in the world as far as what matters really before i die. https://soundcloud.com/johnleehooker/it-serves-you-right-to-suffer I really don’t enjoy others… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
4 years ago

@YaReally – just saw the last 24 hours of stuff. I’ll echo the other guys who’ve talked about how valuable your contribution is here, both to the other guys and to me personally (not just the posts commenting on my FRs). I hope you don’t leave, but if you do, I assume you’ll still read this thread to the end, so Thank You from me personally. You’ve made a big difference to my life. If you do start posting somewhere else I hope you’ll post here and let us know. Rollo’s said he’s going to try an FR subforum, so… Read more »

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“What would be fair price . . .” About three hundred bucks, plus room and meals. “. . . how should it be decided?” Wholesale auction prices. Again, even if what Owen is selling has real value, no woo included, 90% of what he is charging is for pure woo. Q:How much is pure woo worth? A: As much as you can squeeze out of desperate idiots above its real value. Go to the Supermarket. Pick up two boxes of cornflakes, one a generic and the other a name brand. The generic might be priced at a buck. The name… Read more »

SJF
SJF
4 years ago

I’ve been away from my computer since yesterday afternoon. The holiday party at the country club was last evening and that turned out fun in the infield. Did anything happen when I was gone (haven’t had a chance to read the comments)? Did anyone fail any shit tests (or capitalize on them) from guys in comments? Rollo: “I feel I need to clarify my point about Mystery’s state. My point wasn’t to wish any ill on Mystery, but rather to illustrate the dangers of putting all emphasis on process and no regard to the back end. Naturally my detractors want… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
4 years ago

Oh and PS – I should add, I DID do a bootcamp with Mystery Method, over a decade ago when RSD was much smaller and Love Systems was still called Mystery Method. The instructors weren’t famous or anything – just good PUAs from my city who had been hired to do the local course (this guy called Tenmagnet – back when guys still used their PUA names like that – was a guest teacher visiting my city and he was good – I think he was a fairly well known PUA). I thought it was amazing. I didn’t know much… Read more »

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@YaReally I benefit from the RSD vids and am glad that you went to the trouble to view and post them…your collecting and filtering was invaluable. Major props. I called you out on manipulation of the YSGs and you took offense and acted like a bratty little bitch. (Gif of a bratty little bitch here.) Stop that. (Gif of stop sign here.) You aren’t utterly logical Spock. (Spock gif here with raised eyebrow.) Your sycophantic admirers are pathetic if they see you as utterly logical. (Gif of two-year-old smiling as he eats shit from a toilet here.) I’m not saying… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

MurrayStreet You’re right, listen to Sentient. Don’t get in touch with them, don’t explore opportunities. Don’t network. Don’t ever think of making a free video with them or anything crazy like that. Stay DPA, bro.Stay DPA. Are you a hapless fuckwhit? First – you can see that I just explained 5 minutes ago how Rollo will be treated by RSd if he chooses o contact them. So how would you infer that I’d tell him not to do it? Second – what have I said about developing a dynamic passionate and authentic life that is inconsistent with developing mastery and… Read more »

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

$200- 9 hours.

There ya go. Not unreasonable for premium quality group.

Sentient
Sentient
4 years ago

Typically high up front charge is required if you have little prospect of additional revenue down the line from repeat customers… so either attendees are fully sorted by attending, or they aren’t coming back. Or maybe they have just spent all their money…

In the realm of charity and goodwill towards men, the incentives of the for profit model will tend to distort things over time. Capital requires return and all… Goodwill changes hands at a multiple of earnings…

theasdgamer
4 years ago

@Blax

But I already knew from past experience that his comments would be bent out of context to mean the worse possible connotation possible. And then expanded on almost ad infinitum.

+1000…this is the toxic shit YaReally does that he needs to stop doing

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ Sentient

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/mj-laughing.gif

Disclaimer: I’ve not ” copied scray’s style as he likes to think. I actually started posting gifs after Sunwukong was cracking me up with the gifs he posted ( remember that? )

The Awakened One
The Awakened One
4 years ago

@Yareally

Thanks for your contributions you’ve helped out a lot people. Your reports on the <25 year olds have been spot on with my own observations. What I've gotten the most out of your comments was on lasering. That shit is pure gold considering you can say practically nothing while doing it. Keep doing you

MrT
MrT
4 years ago

@asd

Dont know why youd be qualifying to a bot on the internet and dont remember using any seduction here.

Anyway, I dont particularly care if blax is responding to people or what you guys think about it, but he’ll often be whining that people dont listen so I thought Id give a hint.

othergrain
othergrain
4 years ago

“Even if what Owen delivers has value, he knows how his bread is buttered and his customers aren’t paying a fair price for what they get. They are paying for what Owen gets; his lifestyle.”

https://goo.gl/images/ROfIhI

In all seriousness,I agree that $3k is a ridiculously high price, essentially for a professional wingman for a weekend…I sure don’t pin the value there….but clearly enough guys do. Market price is a two way street, if everyone agreed it wasn’t worth $3k, it wouldn’t be.

Blaximus
Blaximus
4 years ago

@ MrT

I’m still playing catch up and just saw your remark a page back.

I answer anyone that asks a question. I stop answering when there’s no longer any point to answering.

Trying to cut down on the repetitive responses to trolling and what not.

Women qualify to men. Men do not qualify themselves to other men, generally.

General rule is: You state 3 things as fact that are false, I opt out because you’re looking for an argument for….whatever reason.

kfg
kfg
4 years ago

“Typically high up front charge is required if you have little prospect of additional revenue down the line from repeat customers…”

This comes from trying to keep your bread buttered from a single pound . . . forever.

Old Joe Weider made a science out of this.

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