The following is an excerpt from the Red Pill Reddit forum I’ve been following recently. I had an emailer ask me to opine about this situation and, for as much as I’d like to brag about having a previous essay for any occasion, I realized I hadn’t really covered this situation. Well, not in any great depth anyway,…
Bit of background: my girlfriend and I are both working people with solid jobs. Mine involves working partly in a lab a fair distance away from where we live, and I am gone for about 2 weeks a month. We have been together 5 years, and things have always been awesome between us. No major fights to speak of.
The incident happened last Saturday night. I was due to return the following Monday, and my girlfriend and a few of her friends had planned a night out, painting the town red. I knew about it, and this isn’t an uncommon occurrence and I paid no mind to it.
Saturday was a typically busy day for me, and I was really tired and went to sleep early that night, as I had to get up early to get back to work. Get back to work Sunday, not checking my phone as I was running late, and noticed lots of messages and voicemails waiting for me when I got to the lab. All from my GF: in all the voicemails, she was in tears, and told me that she’d been out dancing in a club and that she’d been fairly tipsy, but not really drunk.
Apparently some guy started dancing around her, (this part is absolutely unclear, I only know what she told me) and after some words exchanged, yada yada, he leaned in to kiss her, and she kissed him back. I don’t know how long, or any details, but she said she realized what she’d done and returned home as soon as possible, where she started calling and texting me.
I’ve been back for 2 days now, and I’ve only had 1 discussion with her. She was pretty much at my feet when I got back, asking for forgiveness, and honestly, I was nowhere near thinking of breaking up with her. We didn’t talk much that night, just laid in bed, me holding her, thinking we could work this out. No. She has been an absolute wreck since she woke up 3 days ago, won’t look me in the eye, left home crazy early, returns extremely late, and hasn’t been returning texts or calls.
She is broken inside, and I don’t think she can forgive herself for what she did. I don’t know what to do, I can’t reach her – I guess I have to give her time, but honestly, I’m barely holding on looking at her in her state. I bear no ill will towards her, I just think she made a mistake in the heat of the moment. I’m completely lost. I don’t know how I can convince her that I can move past this, and that I still love her. Even I have been near tears at times these past few days. I need a place to vent, I don’t have many people I can talk to, and I need to write down my thoughts.
TL;DR: GF made out with someone in a bar while I was out of town and is an absolute wreck right now, even though I think I can move past it and work at getting everything back on track. I’m lost and don’t know how to convince her. I don’t know what she is thinking and I’m barely holding on.
Now, a bit later he gives this thread a status update.
UPDATE: I left her a note yesterday night in the kitchen, saying some things, we can work past this, etc. etc. She left a note at the same place I had. There were wet patches on that paper, and she pretty much wrote she fucked up big time and she was sorry. (She had already said these things last time I saw her.) Also said sorry she had shut me out, she didn’t know what to do, and that she didn’t think she deserved me after the way I treated her the night I got back. She has left for work now – (true, I called up someone I know there) – and she said she is done being an asshole, and would come home to and (I quote:) ” get out of my life once and for all. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you this week.”
The TRP subredd commenters have pretty much covered the majority of what I would point out. We’re dealing with an abject Beta here who, like most Blue Pill conditioned men buys into the touchy-feely ‘open communications will solve everything’ fallacy. He also feels it’s incumbent upon him to follow the ‘be the bigger man’ meme and forgive her indiscretions (at least the ones she felt guilty enough to relate to him in a text). And really, what’s to forgive anyway? It was only a kiss, right?
For a bit of context, they’re both 26, and are living together. We don’t really know much about how long they’ve been together, but if they’re roommates (always a bad idea) I’m going to guess it’s been at least a couple of years.
What this guy is experiencing is actually a very common rationalization strategy women will use when they are saddled with a man their subconscious recognizes as Beta. In The Medium is the Message I point out that there’s really no such thing as ‘mixed messages’ and that women’s behaviors will generally inform a guy as to what a woman’s real intent is. This is a basic behavioral psychology principle; behavior is the only true measure of motivation and intent. Thus, all the verbalizing of intent, verbal rationalization of purpose and ‘open communication’ simply becomes a part of the behavior which Red Pill behaviorists then parse as true intent.
Yes, this can get tedious in the beginning, and yes, it seems like a huge waste of time trying to second guess a woman’s intent, but understanding what a woman’s ‘medium’ is informing you about is a necessary step to internalizing Red Pill awareness. Once you’ve had experience in this parsing a woman’s behaviors with the behavior that is her rationalizations, it’s from this point that a Red Pill aware man can begin to predict behaviors and become more effective ‘readers’ of what a woman’s actions is somewhat reliably telling them.
In this guy’s case his girlfriend’s messaging is pretty clear to any marginally Red Pill aware man. Her behavior is born from a desire to escape the domesticity of their live-in arrangement and while she’s ‘out with the girls’ she seizes an opportunity to engage in an extra-pairing affair. Naturally, what we ‘know’ from what’s related is that she got tipsy and just kissed a guy. As you might expect, the commenters on the TRP sub jump to what predictably happened and the speculation is a lot more than just kissing.
Evo-Bio 101
However, all speculation aside, we have to make a few basic connections here. My first expectation is that she was likely in the proliferative (pre-ovulatory) phase of her menstrual cycle. I can’t be certain, but I’m sure if the guy were to be objective, he’d see the signs. Second, her behavior belies intent, and thus she seeks an extra-pair encounter and puts herself into an environment that will likely facilitate it. The kissing (assuming that’s all it was) is still a behavior that indicates she’s open to a short term breeding opportunity (Alpha Fucks) and is looking, even if just temporarily, to escape her domestic situation with her Beta live-in boyfriend.
That’s basic evo-psych/evo-bio Red Pill awareness of women’s nature. What gets interesting is when she feels compelled to relate her “infidelity” to her Beta boyfriend. The first presumption we make is that she’s felt some pangs of guilt for having betrayed his trust, but as we’ll see this is in error. We make this presumption because, like this guy does, we want to give a woman the benefit of the doubt when it comes to guilt because men and women popularly believe that women have a supernatural gift for empathy. It simply ‘sounds right’ to believe that a woman had an error in judgement whilst a little tipsy, but again we need to see this situation objectively from an evo-psych/behaviorist perspective.
When I break down this Beta guy’s rationalization process you’ll begin to see how this presumption of empathy and his Blue Pill conditioned mindset actually works against this girl, but for now we have to get a grasp of her feminine subconscious and how it reflexively interacts with the sexual imperative of Hypergamy. Most women’s confessions of extra-pair infidelity isn’t rooted in guilt. That’s not to say women don’t feel guilt or regret, it’s just to say that the functional purpose of the confession doesn’t subconsciously originate in feelings of guilt.
When women ‘cheat’, even when it’s non-sexually, their subconscious is testing the man it suspects is Beta which she’s paired with for confirmation of him being Beta. This is potentially risky, of course, but such is the prime directive of Hypergamy that if it is subconsciously suspected that a paired-with man is less that Hypergamously optimal the long term benefits of confirmation outweigh any risks. Thus, a confession of infidelity from a woman should universally be interpreted as a Hypergamous shit test from men.
If nothing else, her confession of infidelity should be interpreted as a lack of genuine desire for a man – such a lack that it’s necessitated her behavior of engaging in genuine desire with another man. What rationalizations and verbal communications that follow from this point should be consider part of that woman’s behavioral set, and in terms of the Medium being the message, should be assessed as her medium.
So what do we see in this case?
I’ve been back for 2 days now, and I’ve only had 1 discussion with her. She was pretty much at my feet when I got back, asking for forgiveness, and honestly, I was nowhere near thinking of breaking up with her. We didn’t talk much that night, just laid in bed, me holding her, thinking we could work this out. No. She has been an absolute wreck since she woke up 3 days ago, won’t look me in the eye, left home crazy early, returns extremely late, and hasn’t been returning texts or calls.
he is broken inside, and I don’t think she can forgive herself for what she did. I don’t know what to do, I can’t reach her…
On the surface we have the reports of this guy stating that she’s wracked with remorse and asking forgiveness. Sounds reasonable enough, right? No talking, cuddling, comfort and consolation, but wont look him in the eye, leaves early, comes back late. The guy presumes she’s broken inside and can’t forgive herself, but her behaviors imply that she’s disappointed in his reaction to just the marginal amount of information she’d related about her “infidelity”.
In his update we get this part, emphasis mine:
There were wet patches on that paper, and she pretty much wrote she fucked up big time and she was sorry. (She had already said these things last time I saw her.) Also said sorry she had shut me out, she didn’t know what to do, and that she didn’t think she deserved me after the way I treated her the night I got back. She has left for work now – (true, I called up someone I know there) – and she said she is done being an asshole, and would come home to and (I quote:) ” get out of my life once and for all. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you this week.”
In the post Gut Check I mention how men’s subconscious awareness subtly informs their conscious awareness by picking up on shifts in behavior, attitude and environment. Through our socialization, acculturation and Blue Pill conditioning, men are taught to suppress this natural, instinctual messaging that our gut is telling us. We do so because we fear being accused of male insecurity, jealousy and not subscribing wholesale to the equalist idea that men and women are co-equal rational agents who’ve evolved past anything like our baser natures.
Yet here, with the benefit of Red Pill awareness, we can see a perfect example of a guy suppressing what his peripheral awareness is basically screaming at him. This woman has essentially verified his Beta status by his default willingness to forgive her Alpha Fucks indiscretions with few (if any) questions asked. That test failed, she now hopes he will actually get angry enough to break up with her. Again, test failed, as all of his efforts are directed towards his unconditional love and forgiveness.
Please, Break Up with Me!
This woman is vocally telling him “please, break up with me”, but even this is ignored and rationalized away in his Blue Pill conditioned mindset that tells him all they need is open communication to solve her Hypergamous equation. She literally tells him, “you don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you.” This is part of her medium, this is her subconscious attempting to tell his subconscious how and why she’s done what she has, but his Blue Pill conditioning has suppressed any hope of that message being translated to him. Bear in mind here, this isn’t necessarily a case of a woman being intentionally malicious. Often this process is one in which she is only playing out as a semi-aware actor of her Hypergamous subroutine.
I’ve had guys relate many similar story in the same vein as this one. In all of them there is a subconscious hope that a paired man which a woman’s Hypergamous instinct has designated as Beta will just get it and understand that she wants him to break up with her. This may be overt, but more often it’s subtle. She’ll leave clues, breadcrumbs, for him to follow that indicate her infidelity in the hopes that he’ll become angry and break up with her. Maybe its an open diary, or an open social media account, or maybe just small convenient absences that are out of the ordinary, but the trail is one her subconscious hopes her man will discover and react to.
There are many reasons for this. The principle one being she desires an easily acknowledged reason for her exit from that pairing. Even if she’s been unfaithful women maintain large social support networks that forgive them of their sins – and this primarily because her girlfriends are living out the same Hypergamous subroutines themselves. It becomes rationalized away, chalked up to her “journey of self-discovery”, not something she was proud of, but a necessary part of her life in becoming “who she really is.”
When this instinctual suppression is combined with Blue Pill deferral to women and their false assumption that communication is the key to solving all intersexual problems, then you get into this situation. One where that woman desperately wants a guy to get so pissed off that her drops the hammer and leaves her, like she’d expect any Alpha lover to do. However, his Beta disposition makes this hope for anger an impossibility and the very Blue Pill conditioning that made him so acceptable as a provider and a comfort makes her exiting the relationship impossible without her feeling some actual guilt for having to take the initiative to leave him.
And this is where real feminine guilt becomes unavoidable. She’s the one who has to kill the puppy because his Blue Pill conditioning wont allow for him to become angry enough to do it himself. This is where her real guilt and real resentment of him come into play for her. He’s too accommodating and to ready to rationalize away his forgiveness for her to avoid the bad feelings she’s hoped to engender in him.
@ Forge
Man, I dig the analogy.
@blax I think you confuse what Beta Behavior actually is and you’re here to male hamster it into shit that most people would think it is but because of the presence of male hamstering now is not. lmfao here, you answer my question first: if a dude gets gangraped by 10 men, is that now alpha behavior because the dude “chose” to get gangraped by 10 other men? What has your experience been? How much sex did you have over time in your marriage or committed relationship? yawn lame FI ‘YEW DIDN’T GIIIIT ANY’ tactic What was the name of… Read more »
“the highest value alpha isn’t there in the morning.”
And he goes out in the most alpha way possible!
Jumps through the window, riding a sharknado, smoking a cigar.
He grabs a rattlesnake as a snack on the way home.
C’mon Scray – don’t wus out on Blax’s questions… You’ve had a great journey from here… http://yareallyarchive.com/scray/2012/11/ Scray on November 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm Permalink Original Link I’m getting into a space where it’s starting to feel hopeless. I recently started sarging, and my approach count is still low—a solid 30….but, as anyone can guess, the success rate thus far is zero. Rejection now feels like I have zero value to these people as a man, and while I’m thankful for the red pill…it still hits hard. Reading stories like the above just makes me more depressed. The impression… Read more »
“I’m throwing my full support behind male hamstering . . .”
You certainly are.
@ Forge ” I think why you’re butting heads so strongly with YaReally on this issue is due to your holistic understanding of relationships. To you all aspects of the relationship, as with game, just naturally hold together and form a living, breathing, vital system.” I do see many things different than YaReally. You’ve pretty much nailed why above. I’d never given the ” why ” any deep thought because I just accept that we are coming from 2 completely different lifetime experiences. Just like the little spat going on with scray at the moment. These guys like to speak… Read more »
@sentient
Join a real conversation… or not…
then start one and stop pretending beta shit isn’t beta shit.
@ scray
” yawn lame FI ‘YEW DIDN’T GIIIIT ANY’ tactic”
” yawn lame FI ‘WHY R U GET MAD?’ chick tactic”
Sticks and stones man….
Okay. Don’t answer my question. It’s cooler than a fan.
Pull out the ” You’re so FI!!!!! ” shit out of your ass. Lol.
It’s perfectly fine.
Ps.
Don’t forget to talk about my age next.
Predictable.
@ Sentient
He’s an angry, high strung fellow, huh?
“He’s an angry, high strung fellow, huh?”
My current working hypothesis is that he’s on Chinese gear, 5’7″ with a 6’4″ chip on his shoulder.
” My current working hypothesis is that he’s on Chinese gear, 5’7″ with a 6’4″ chip on his shoulder.”
Too bad. Chinese gear is mostly lead and arsenic.
hat quote about culture needs to be modified…. “whenever I hear people bellyaching about ‘holistic’ I reach for my revolver.” There is one thing in this life wrt to women that counts: HYPERGAMY. if it sates the hypergamy, it is alpha. if not, it is beta. Acceding to ANY OF HER TERMS does a disservice to her hypergamy. I don’t give a shit if you climb mountains or sing the songs. That’s not the yardstick for alpha. stop with the male hamstering. Entering into a relationship with her is doing…. …. … It’s ok, bros. You want to use red… Read more »
Blax
“He’s an angry, high strung fellow, huh?”
It is a let down though… for a guy who in almost four years turned his life around by being so open and willing to at least listen to things he didn’t fully understand and had no experience in… and grow from that… to now be a guy who has all the answers except he doesn’t know all the questions… Adolescence on display right there…
Ask me how I know with 5 teens…
Okay scray. Take it easy man. Did you take your meds?
Your right. The big bad wimminz and the FI has us.
Is that better?
Maybe you should type slower or better yet, go sarge or something.
That’ll cheer you up bro.
@ Sentient It’s true. I’ve read scray’s story a long time ago. He’s still holding on to a lot of anger. he got ” better ” in a major way, but his view is still a little warped. It’s like there’s still a lot of residue from the past left. Now it’s like ” AArrrggghhhhh!!!! Fuck bitches!!! They are only good for one thing!!!! Anything else is BETAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! AAAArrrrgggghhhhh!!!!! “. Maybe with time….. I used to have anger issues once upon a time, but I got rid of them. That’s no way to live. *sniff, sniff* Ahhhh, life is sweet… Read more »
@blax
at this point you just sound like a woman.
blaxtina up in hurr.
Oh shit!!!! He’s still here calling me a woman and FI and everything!!!
El-oh-El.
Oh shit!!!! He’s still here calling me a woman and FI and everything!!!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqdvt0J0yy1r22a29o1_400.gif
@Scray
“it’s just basic, typical, human behavior in defense of social conditioning.”
OH NOOOO YOU ARE CRACKING THE HUG BOX
@Sentient
#115
““I thought you could read with comprehension? Just apprehension isn’t cutting it…”
@Blax
“He’s an angry, high strung fellow, huh?”
“https://media.giphy.com/media/uzRNZ4BUokenm/giphy.gif”
@KFG
“My current working hypothesis is that he’s on Chinese gear, 5’7″ with a 6’4″ chip on his shoulder.”
“https://media0.giphy.com/media/drFw4AVBHeaoE/200.gif#2”
lol seriously guys……
uh oh.
gif failure rate=100%
lol yeah
OMGS UNITE
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f450df714a6a33b661a77c4171719704/tumblr_o0gbh03Uy61ro8ysbo1_500.gif
Except I’m not a MG, and thanks to the last revision of the DSM I’m still just middle aged.
Mersonia
Do you ever have anything to actually say? I don’t think I’ve ever come across a post of any substance whatsoever from you. Just some kind of juvenile sniping… I mean you don’t even express much of a position on anything?
So tell us about yourself?
How old are you? What is your status? Incel, volcel, single, mLTR, pLTR, Plate spinner, married, divorced?
Speak.
Just to bring up JB again I’d really interesting. In her (present date) penultimate post she shamed her husband’s manhood in a public forum. I do not think her readership saw this coming (they should have, the writing has been on the wall for a while).
Predictably and correctly, her readership descended on her and called her a fraud.
She responded with today’s topic of “Watch me dance like a whore”.
This could not be more textbook.
It’s really fascinating. Pitiful, but fascinating.
lol at these fights lol anyway thought to go as a judge for halloween. just grab the powdered wig and a dry erase board. and just go up and rate people. for anything. rate costume. rate girl coming on to me. rate guy/girl trying to tool me. lol, you can use it for anything. person says something, just nod sagely, pull out board, jot number down, reveal it “4 out of 10. good effort” and then go talk to someone else. suits my personality perfectly. just having trouble finding a wig lol. got some suggestions tho also got a single… Read more »
@scray @blax
lol black people < <
OMGS UNITE
lol mersonia knows whats up
My folks been married for 56 years. My grandparents were married for 70. I’m embarking on year 19.
Yeah, but you’re living in a different time than your parents and grandparents. Back when they got married there was a lot of social and cultural support for marriage as an institution that doesn’t exist today. My maternal grandparents were married for more than 50 years, but to quote my mother: “If people got divorced back then they would have been divorced.” They grew closer in later years, but in today’s environment there would have been no later years.
@Hank
” how should I work it?”
Depends on how old the kid is…and if you’re level of morality
@ tsotha ” Yeah, but you’re living in a different time than your parents and grandparents. Back when they got married there was a lot of social and cultural support for marriage as an institution that doesn’t exist today. My maternal grandparents were married for more than 50 years, but to quote my mother: “If people got divorced back then they would have been divorced.” They grew closer in later years, but in today’s environment there would have been no later years.” Okay. I accept that I’m living in a different time. My mom never made that kind of statement… Read more »
“So let me ask, what’s to become of people, or more importantly, what’s left of men?” Every time some change is made the effects vary.The trick is to keep up with the changes. Some people win ,some loose every time ,the ones that win the most often are the quick to accept and adjust the game. SO WHAT.NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? This is the best approach,we all fought our way up the tube to the egg and won a chance at life,the struggle doesn’t end just because we were born the world doesn’t owe anyone anything. I… Read more »
In the old school parenting set of books at the age of 2 a child with some teeth was weened and got as nice firm slap on the ass for crying about it.Respect was instilled thusly.
Good god … wtf people been talking about ??? Didn’t bother to read … this topic shoulda been over days ago. I am only checking in to provide a link, a link that I just ran across that tells the truth about mgtow. You might not like it. But I think Rollo might since he seems to be coming around. Ain’t my works and I got nothing to plug. Just the truth when I see it. Enjoy;
http://blackpoisonsoul.blogspot.co.nz/2015/05/the-final-answer-what-is-mgtow.html
Forge
When you work a lot with a co-worker, you have a relationship with them.
You derive value from these relationships. Otherwise they would not exist.
Oh, man, if only I could introduce you to some of my past cow-orkers. Unless you are using the word “value” to include negative value?
Not pointin’ any fingers or namin’ any names.
Just puttin’ this riiiiight here.
So effectively your saying that marriage is dead, no?
No. What I’m saying is it’s going to be harder for you to make it work than it was for your grandfather. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get married. What I am saying is you need to be aware the deck is stacked against you, though not impossibly so, and adjust your efforts accordingly.
lol @scray’s red herring…the question isn’t whether you have the DESIRE to fuck/have relationships with post-menopausal women, but whether you have EXPERIENCE enough to talk about what post-menopausal women are like.
I’ll give you an ‘A’ for effort.
Another male contraceptive, although messing around with progesterone would not be my fave hobby.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/10/27/male-contraceptive-jab-almost-100-per-cent-effective-and-it-can/
@Rollo Tommassi Good job on the TRP Ask Me Anything session. Excellent answers to get the younger crowd more invested in red pill action. Wonderful Ambassador-ship. @All Man, once again, I couldn’t get on the merry go round of shit tests fast enough and I lost my chance earlier today. What a great test your mettle frenzy. Love it. Scray is sure on a 100% Alpha roll there. (I sense the roids working) I can’t say I disagree with his purpose/mission. It is so totally right for him but so shit testy for guys like Jon Bon Jovi. Who are… Read more »
@ASD “…the question isn’t whether you have the DESIRE to fuck/have relationships with post-menopausal women, but whether you have EXPERIENCE enough to talk about what post-menopausal women are like.” My wife isn’t post-menopausal yet. But let me stipulate that my desire to fuck her isn’t only 5% (according to the Graph), nor is she irrelevant in the SMV. And Bon Jovi (And Sentient, and Blax, and Rollo) is right, some times you just get lucky to have picked right. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. You pick a fork in the road or as KFG… Read more »
Jesus fuck, this fucking argument is still going? If there’s a fucking objective reality that we were aiming at with the original question, then anyone in the argument needs to go out and experimentally prove that reality. Until then all the fucking arguing from both fucking sides is nothing but WORTHLESS INTERNET DICK-WAVING. Just put up or shut up and stop fucking arguing like bitches, and if you can’t run the experiments for whatever reason then shut the living fuck up because you have no useful input. How hard is this? Christ. Like a bunch of teenage fucking girls up… Read more »
where can i find your ‘open communication’ posts?
Wow, a lot of posts in a few hours. @KFG and @Forge: yes, the reasons for not having kids are (all?) selfish as well – this may appear contradictory but it isn’t. Almost all (if not all) motivation is selfish. I’m a bit cynical, but this isn’t surprising if you believe in evolution / evo-psych. One Red Pill tenet is that women are attracted to selfish men – part of that is because selfish men will better ensure survival for their own offspring, presumably. @Sentient: eating can be selfish, and in a global scale it is, because it is nearly… Read more »
@KFG: making a height related comment about Scray to Blaximus? How very classy… And that was just after Blaximus had joked that Scray was going to predictably AMOG Blaximus about his age. Criticizing a man for being angry – pure FI, close to that “toxic masculinity” bullshit. Criticizing a man (particularly a short man) for his height – FI shit test or straight up AMOG tactic, which I’m sure Scray gets all the time. Scray has a point, even though he is super cynical and I agree he is angry, doesn’t mean he is wrong. @Scray: despite the above, I… Read more »
I still haven’t finished reading the latest Scray/Sentient/Blax go-round on marriage, but one point jumped out at me:
@Scray – you asked if it would be alpha to be gang-raped by ten guys because you genuinely wanted to..
..but strictly speaking if you WANTED to, then you wouldn’t be getting raped at all – you’d just be a gay guy who enjoyed orgies. In which case, yeah – having an orgy because that’s what you wanted to do WOULD be authentic and alpha as far as I can see..
but strictly speaking if you WANTED to, then you wouldn’t be getting raped at all – you’d just be a gay guy who enjoyed orgies. In which case, yeah – having an orgy because that’s what you wanted to do WOULD be authentic and alpha as far as I can see..
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bYQmasVGAq8/TxoYRLWH_4I/AAAAAAAAF1k/kRr4SxWszLU/s1600/cycle+stud.jpg
Yup.
“..but strictly speaking if you WANTED to, then you wouldn’t be getting raped at all – you’d just be a gay guy who enjoyed orgies. In which case, yeah – having an orgy because that’s what you wanted to do WOULD be authentic and alpha as far as I can see..”
But only if he didn’t stick around until morning.
Ah, but in the gay world, the alphas are not the bottoms.
Off topic a bit Re Marriage – I live on the border of 2 jurisdictions. Looking up the divorce laws of both was a shocker. Such a difference between the two. On one side, marriage is defined as an economic union – whatever you own before is thrown into the pot and split equally between the two spouses. So if I marry a woman who has basically nothing she gets have my house/stuff/dog. Tough pill to swallow at age 57after accumulating boatloads of stuff. The web pages describing this also include a handy-dandy link to a page special for women… Read more »
“Ah, but in the gay world, the alphas are not the bottoms.”
What if it was a robot that gave him the booty glazin’?
(terribly cerebral dialogue chain we have going on here)
Such a difference between the two.
Yeah, you have to know the law where you live, and also anyplace where you are going to live, because it’s the law of where you are living when you split up that determines divorce (not the law where you got married).
“Throw out everything ( burn down the house to kill the termites ) and then stand around lost and confused.” fwiw, I didn’t have the intention of burning down the house. I was busy killing termites and the next thing I knew I looked up and the house was gone. My entire life has been a lie. My true nature is SO FAR from my current life that it didn’t take much. The only thing I have left is that I identify with not being good with girls (yet. working on that) Also, I care for my kids. And wife… Read more »
@nova
“Yeah, you have to know the law where you live, and also anyplace where you are going to live, because it’s the law of where you are living when you split up that determines divorce (not the law where you got married).”
Good point but I’m not sure about that. I’d have to look that up. Having a civil contract torn up because of where you live seems counter-intuitive to me but I’m no expert.
@Andy
“fwiw, I didn’t have the intention of burning down the house. I was busy killing termites and the next thing I knew I looked up and the house was gone. My entire life has been a lie. My true nature is SO FAR from my current life that it didn’t take much.”
Good that you realize this relatively young (I assume). Gives you a head start at rebuilding your current situation in your image which is way better than burning it down late in life.
Nova Ah, but in the gay world, the alphas are not the bottoms. I defer to your experience on this matter… 😉 however the whole topic is just a swerve… Alpha/Beta is part of Female attraction… Male to Male is irrelevant. as Vox day says: http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2011/03/socio-sexual-hierarchy.html Lambda: Those men who have quite literally no interest in conventional male-female sexual relations. They clearly have their own hierarchy of sorts, but I can’t say that I know much about it other than it appears to somehow involve youth, free weights, and mustaches. Lifetime sexual partners = 10x average+ What is passing from… Read more »
Good point but I’m not sure about that. I’d have to look that up. Having a civil contract torn up because of where you live seems counter-intuitive to me but I’m no expert. Yeah. I’m a lawyer, actually. In family law, it’s almost always the practice of the court where you are living when the divorce is filed that will determine what happens with your pre-nup, not the law of the state where you signed it. The reason is that family law courts are, in almost all places, courts of equity, which means they will not enforce legal contracts like… Read more »
And the irony that the host here where so many comments are generated is venerated as a foundational MRA but apparently is a weak Beta?
http://www.perkins.org/sites/default/files/styles/450_x_270/public/Blind%20etiquette.jpg
Who is leading this dialogue and where?
And of a guy – well intentioned granted (willing to give benefit of the doubt yet) – who is a couple of years at best into the working world, not long out of school, just in the game for almost a whole four years… hectoring a guy like Blax who has literally five or ten times the life experience with women, a 300+ notch count, married twice, divorced and raised kids with two different mommas – who is saying something so uncomfortable as “GUYS RELAX AND DO NOT FEAR” and “MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES”. Sure, but isn’t this what young… Read more »
@IAS: “making a height related comment about Scray to Blaximus?”
No. Making an anger related comment.
Nova – agree. well said. The adolescence stage.
@Andy …..Because the closer that your social conditioning is to your true nature, the less reason there is to wake up. Like Blaximus. He’s living the dream. Literally. There’s no reason for him to wake up. So, things will start to shift everything will always balance out. Scray is right. Attachment = caring = identity = ego = weakness. He also said that caring for kids isn’t a bad thing. I agree. I’m also starting to realize that idealism is ego as well…. Read this for perspective on developing (including how your children develop ego after starting out with no… Read more »
Another log for the fire in the debate of the month….
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/doctor-sues-gay-friend-for-child-support-16-years-after-he-first-donated-sperm-to-her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3kLvz1w7MU
had to repost this… LOL… Nearly pissed myself laughing…
But think about it.
http://www.cbc.ca/firsthand/features/confessions-from-a-sugar-baby
And another…
Because this is her way of “getting it back from the patriarchy”.
It’s nice to see it come to this, empowerment = prostitution, but it’s OK if a girl does it, and the men are losers anyhow, straight up BB.
As Churchill once said, “We’ve already determined what you are miss, now we’re just haggling over price”.
full blown double face palm.
“Sure, but isn’t this what young people have been doing since … forever? I mean folks in their 20s have always — at least in my lifetime — generally thought of their elders as being out of touch . . .” Young people always start the world anew, but the effect in the Modern Era went on steroids with the Industrial Age and got supercharged during the Victorian Era, when a deliberate policy of separating children from their parents for the purposes of social engineering came online. Fights over school curricula have become a standard part of the political sphere… Read more »
“The goal is that it looks like magic but it is not a trick.” — David Blaine
(or Blax, can’t remember…)
“Young people always start the world anew, but the effect in the Modern Era went on steroids with the Industrial Age and got supercharged during the Victorian Era, when a deliberate policy of separating children from their parents for the purposes of social engineering came online.” As an infant, a child is born without a sense of self, and thus without an ego per se. This served our development and survival at the time. Conceivably, it allowed us to experience a felt sense of oneness with our mother or other primary attachment figures. This was critical to our survival at… Read more »
@Sentient: “Yeah… Wait until they get home and find out what’s in their asses.”
0_0
@Sentient, Blaximus, Scray, Scribblerg, Walawala, etc.
You guys hitting the scene for Halloween? Any costumes, lines you have planned? It’s Friday. Let’s exchange notes.
@Novaseeker
“In any case, it does vary by where you are…”
Did a bit of research – you are absolutely correct – even here in Canada the final settlement seems to be up a a judge’s discretion and jurisdiction. Thanks for the heads up!
“But think about it.” I did. Think about it. Sentient: Scray And my “window into their world” are reasonable inferences about human behavior GIVEN what we know about divorce rape in the U.S. Are you going gamma on us man? sooo according to your logic… again… Bon Jovi lost his Alpha card by marrying her to begin with, especially since she was a fat pig and he couldn’t get better and she hates that, then this was compounded by his complete failure as a musician and actor post nuptials as evidenced by a “Friends” episode, which led him to be… Read more »
Newlyaloof – I won’t be… My neighborhood gets heavy, heavy traffic so I stay on premises and keep order. Have fun, all of Yareally’s stuff is solid. If I did go I might do Trump just for the pussy grabbing line… LOL
Newly aloof
Batman this year… I only wish they released Suicide Squad CLOSER to Halloween for even more Harley’s …but I’m greedy 😉
Also, going on ya’s advice, got a ticket to the club Monday, no costume, solo… should be interesting
Feeling for Chinks in the Armour We agree that no woman is truly, perpetually satisfied with their mate. Woman are habitually testing fitness; are we AF when she wants him, are we BB when she wants him? In fem-centric world it’s all around us. When starting a relationship, what do we bring to the table? Why is it in her interest to fuck us? When we’re in the relationship, what keeps her at the table and maintains our principles too? Dateline: Yesterday 5:30 P.M. We’re ensconced at the German pub, kids at piano practice. She’s halfway through her first, and… Read more »
@Sentient,
See a hottie. Give her the laser eye. Slant head to side, put on confused wft is that costume face. Approach. “I”m gonna guess your costume. Don’t tell me & don’t get mad if I guess wrong. promise? Say I promise. She does (compliance). Make her pinky swear (compliance and keno). Then say “Witch/Cat/Princess/etc in heat.” Get arm slap, then rib her for being a liar for getting mad. Game on. Fits my witty, fun vibe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQbBOryBt9w
Well it should not be lost on anyone that Mystery, before PUA, was already a professional magician. Go figure?
@EH, fascinating. Women are indeed an ocean during a storm, crashing around at everything in their paths. It’s true. Can’t remember who said it, but “Be the oak. Be the light tower that weathers any storm.” If you fold to that shaming, ever, your life will be a living hell. ONly now when my wife knows I don’t give a fuck about our marriage does she “mysteriously” all of a sudden care about what I’m going.
EhIntellect
She just loves the duality… all good. Pay no mind, go about doing what you want to, show nothing that would be considered deference, she will wrap around that… and enjoy transferring between the two states.
I had to learn to let her enjoy her discomfort, because this is part of what she needs…
Cats not being dogs…
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/4623646/meow-o.gif
Newly – throwing candy at them is fun too…
Simple misdirection in plain sight:
Newly EHintellect Can’t remember who said it, but “Be the oak. Be the light tower that weathers any storm.” One of the 16 Commandments https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/ XV. Maintain your state control You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.… Read more »
One thing I forgot:
At the bar she was denigrating women’s hyphenated last names, or not assuming his last name at all. At one point she says, “I love having your last name. I’m honored having your last name.”
Heh.
EhIntellect
http://www.forward-now.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/branding.gif
EhI
Man, she’s got the Catholic guilt down pat…why not the submitting to husband part?
Sounds like she’s cherrypicking parts of your religion that suit her, as shit tests.
The guy in the OP needs to listen to this. And then listen to it again.
EhIntellect, As a casual observer of relationship game, I also concur. You are good. It is times like these when you feel comfortable walking on a tightrope because You Got This. It is No Big Deal. Give her that indignation and keep frame. (She’s in Frame Grab Mode.) And don’t get emotional. Let her enjoy her discomfort, indeed. She’ll crash back the other way soon enough. That realization was also a breakthrough for me last year. It it takes clear insight to understand that bad emotions for her play a role in a man keeping frame. Angry night, peaceful morning.… Read more »
@EhI I don’t know if you saw one of YaReally’s comments, but it basically used an analogy of en EKG readout. Provide a woman with a stable house = flat line. Never argue with her = flatline. Make sure everyone in the house is happy = flatline, etc, etc. They need the good highs and the bad lows to get the emotional EKG roller coaster ride they crave. All these good betas out their busting their asses everyday so that everything in their home runs smoothly (ie emotional flat line), all the while not knowing that this is actually killing… Read more »
Descretion
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NkT
Is the unwritten rule
@Andy fwiw, I didn’t have the intention of burning down the house. I was busy killing termites and the next thing I knew I looked up and the house was gone. there is no spoon… there was never any ‘house’… that was just part of the FI facade… oh, look! i can build a new ‘house’ by just MAKING it true… not even kidding… My entire life has been a lie. no… the place where you are ‘at’ right now is based on some false info… and that wasn’t your fault bc you were lied to by FI/social conditioning… this… Read more »
Murder of a beta for being too beta? http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2016/10/wendi-adelson-novel-life-imitating-art.html The basic premise of Attorney Lily’s life is that she married a professor (Joshua Stone). She says that she married him too quickly, and that at the time she was “absolutely sick and tired of dating” and saw “dating, at its best, as nothing more than a romantic interview. ‘Are you the kind of person who would produce good looking, smart and nice children and never cheat on me and help me clean up the kitchen and love me even when I’m grouchy and not trade me in for a younger… Read more »
@HABD @scray Your comment about scray’s position being typical of the YSGs helps crystallize the discussion… gotta own your betatude as a OMG, but there’s more to it than marriage=beta…Rollo defines alpha as having yourself as your MPO…surely a desire to have a good marriage is also alpha to some extent if you do it because YOU want to as opposed to sucking up to the wife for pussy… and scray thinks that he can avoid drama as “too much work”, lol…because a plate will create drama just because she needs it…so scray will have to do a lot more… Read more »
I was reading Rollo’s AMA, this time for the TRP reddit, and I thought this would be useful to have here in the comments as well (it was quite a bit down in the AMA)
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/59piqu/im_rollo_tomassi_ask_me_anything/d9ab7jy/
And Rollo’s reply…
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/59piqu/im_rollo_tomassi_ask_me_anything/d9adiub/
Yeah, I read that yesterday. That’s been Rollo’s position pretty much all along.
Soooooo…. what does this mean to you as an already married man?
I thought it was well known here that no one recommends that guys get married?
Asd “and scray thinks that he can avoid drama as “too much work”, lol…because a plate will create drama just because she needs it…so scray will have to do a lot more nexting than he would if he managed drama instead of getting ambushed by it all the time…better to preemptively create drama, it seems to me” Men have differing thresholds for drama. Some love it and create it themselves, some avoid it like the plague. See blackdragon as an example of zero tolerance for drama. You imply that doing “a lot more nexting” is worse than “managing drama”, but… Read more »
In fact “doing a lot more (soft) nexting” IS a means to “manage drama”
That’s what the soft next is designed for lol
@ newlyaloof
As I’ve said, I dusted off the Predator get up.
It’s turning chilly here, so I will keep the outdoor activities to a minimum because the body portion only consists of a lightweight form fitting spandex – like deal.
It’s been a few years since I’ve dressed for the occasion.
There are a couple of parties happening later that night.
lol waiting for the OMGs to start being those unreactive badass alphas we’re supposed to look up to and model and want to be like, who live and breathe the red pill of oak tree stoicisim and unreactiveness that looks like this: http://www.cruzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/112-fine-art-nude.jpg instead of like a bunch of catty teenage girls lol Scray and I are young and have “five or ten times” less life experience…so ok sure, we’re immature. Now what’s YOUR guys’ excuse? Any of you OMGs heading out tonight to gather field data on social media with some <25yo 8+/10s? Or are you guys busy coming… Read more »
Real quick,
@ My Brother Andy
Make no mistake man, I’m not living a dream. I’m working at having a life that I want. No dreaming or fantasies.
I started out working really hard to understand how to get what I wanted. Then the work got progressively easier. Now it’s not really work at all.
It’s not a dream as much as it is the fruits of my labor. The payoff, so to speak.
You are making good progress.
Keep digging man.💓