Please, Breakup with Me!

Separation

The following is an excerpt from the Red Pill Reddit forum I’ve been following recently. I had an emailer ask me to opine about this situation and, for as much as I’d like to brag about having a previous essay for any occasion, I realized I hadn’t really covered this situation. Well, not in any great depth anyway,…

Bit of background: my girlfriend and I are both working people with solid jobs. Mine involves working partly in a lab a fair distance away from where we live, and I am gone for about 2 weeks a month. We have been together 5 years, and things have always been awesome between us. No major fights to speak of.

The incident happened last Saturday night. I was due to return the following Monday, and my girlfriend and a few of her friends had planned a night out, painting the town red. I knew about it, and this isn’t an uncommon occurrence and I paid no mind to it.

Saturday was a typically busy day for me, and I was really tired and went to sleep early that night, as I had to get up early to get back to work. Get back to work Sunday, not checking my phone as I was running late, and noticed lots of messages and voicemails waiting for me when I got to the lab. All from my GF: in all the voicemails, she was in tears, and told me that she’d been out dancing in a club and that she’d been fairly tipsy, but not really drunk.

Apparently some guy started dancing around her, (this part is absolutely unclear, I only know what she told me) and after some words exchanged, yada yada, he leaned in to kiss her, and she kissed him back. I don’t know how long, or any details, but she said she realized what she’d done and returned home as soon as possible, where she started calling and texting me.

I’ve been back for 2 days now, and I’ve only had 1 discussion with her. She was pretty much at my feet when I got back, asking for forgiveness, and honestly, I was nowhere near thinking of breaking up with her. We didn’t talk much that night, just laid in bed, me holding her, thinking we could work this out. No. She has been an absolute wreck since she woke up 3 days ago, won’t look me in the eye, left home crazy early, returns extremely late, and hasn’t been returning texts or calls.

She is broken inside, and I don’t think she can forgive herself for what she did. I don’t know what to do, I can’t reach her – I guess I have to give her time, but honestly, I’m barely holding on looking at her in her state. I bear no ill will towards her, I just think she made a mistake in the heat of the moment. I’m completely lost. I don’t know how I can convince her that I can move past this, and that I still love her. Even I have been near tears at times these past few days. I need a place to vent, I don’t have many people I can talk to, and I need to write down my thoughts.

TL;DR: GF made out with someone in a bar while I was out of town and is an absolute wreck right now, even though I think I can move past it and work at getting everything back on track. I’m lost and don’t know how to convince her. I don’t know what she is thinking and I’m barely holding on.

Now, a bit later he gives this thread a status update.

UPDATE: I left her a note yesterday night in the kitchen, saying some things, we can work past this, etc. etc. She left a note at the same place I had. There were wet patches on that paper, and she pretty much wrote she fucked up big time and she was sorry. (She had already said these things last time I saw her.) Also said sorry she had shut me out, she didn’t know what to do, and that she didn’t think she deserved me after the way I treated her the night I got back. She has left for work now – (true, I called up someone I know there) – and she said she is done being an asshole, and would come home to and (I quote:) ” get out of my life once and for all. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you this week.”

The TRP subredd commenters have pretty much covered the majority of what I would point out. We’re dealing with an abject Beta here who, like most Blue Pill conditioned men buys into the touchy-feely ‘open communications will solve everything’ fallacy. He also feels it’s incumbent upon him to follow the ‘be the bigger man’ meme and forgive her indiscretions (at least the ones she felt guilty enough to relate to him in a text). And really, what’s to forgive anyway? It was only a kiss, right?

For a bit of context, they’re both 26, and are living together. We don’t really know much about how long they’ve been together, but if they’re roommates (always a bad idea) I’m going to guess it’s been at least a couple of years.

What this guy is experiencing is actually a very common rationalization strategy women will use when they are saddled with a man their subconscious recognizes as Beta. In The Medium is the Message I point out that there’s really no such thing as ‘mixed messages’ and that women’s behaviors will generally inform a guy as to what a woman’s real intent is. This is a basic behavioral psychology principle; behavior is the only true measure of motivation and intent. Thus, all the verbalizing of intent, verbal rationalization of purpose and ‘open communication’ simply becomes a part of the behavior which Red Pill behaviorists then parse as true intent.

Yes, this can get tedious in the beginning, and yes, it seems like a huge waste of time trying to second guess a woman’s intent, but understanding what a woman’s ‘medium’ is informing you about is a necessary step to internalizing Red Pill awareness. Once you’ve had experience in this parsing a woman’s behaviors with the behavior that is her rationalizations, it’s from this point that a Red Pill aware man can begin to predict behaviors and become more effective ‘readers’ of what a woman’s actions is somewhat reliably telling them.

In this guy’s case his girlfriend’s messaging is pretty clear to any marginally Red Pill aware man. Her behavior is born from a desire to escape the domesticity of their live-in arrangement and while she’s ‘out with the girls’ she seizes an opportunity to engage in an extra-pairing affair. Naturally, what we ‘know’ from what’s related is that she got tipsy and just kissed a guy. As you might expect, the commenters on the TRP sub jump to what predictably happened and the speculation is a lot more than just kissing.

Evo-Bio 101

However, all speculation aside, we have to make a few basic connections here. My first expectation is that she was likely in the proliferative (pre-ovulatory) phase of her menstrual cycle. I can’t be certain, but I’m sure if the guy were to be objective, he’d see the signs. Second, her behavior belies intent, and thus she seeks an extra-pair encounter and puts herself into an environment that will likely facilitate it. The kissing (assuming that’s all it was) is still a behavior that indicates she’s open to a short term breeding opportunity (Alpha Fucks) and is looking, even if just temporarily, to escape her domestic situation with her Beta live-in boyfriend.

That’s basic evo-psych/evo-bio Red Pill awareness of women’s nature. What gets interesting is when she feels compelled to relate her “infidelity” to her Beta boyfriend. The first presumption we make is that she’s felt some pangs of guilt for having betrayed his trust, but as we’ll see this is in error. We make this presumption because, like this guy does, we want to give a woman the benefit of the doubt when it comes to guilt because men and women popularly believe that women have a supernatural gift for empathy. It simply ‘sounds right’ to believe that a woman had an error in judgement whilst a little tipsy, but again we need to see this situation objectively from an evo-psych/behaviorist perspective.

When I break down this Beta guy’s rationalization process you’ll begin to see how this presumption of empathy and his Blue Pill conditioned mindset actually works against this girl, but for now we have to get a grasp of her feminine subconscious and how it reflexively interacts with the sexual imperative of Hypergamy. Most women’s confessions of extra-pair infidelity isn’t rooted in guilt. That’s not to say women don’t feel guilt or regret, it’s just to say that the functional purpose of the confession doesn’t subconsciously originate in feelings of guilt.

When women ‘cheat’, even when it’s non-sexually, their subconscious is testing the man it suspects is Beta which she’s paired with for confirmation of him being Beta. This is potentially risky, of course, but such is the prime directive of Hypergamy that if it is subconsciously suspected that a paired-with man is less that Hypergamously optimal the long term benefits of confirmation outweigh any risks. Thus, a confession of infidelity from a woman should universally be interpreted as a Hypergamous shit test from men.

If nothing else, her confession of infidelity should be interpreted as a lack of genuine desire for a man – such a lack that it’s necessitated her behavior of engaging in genuine desire with another man. What rationalizations and verbal communications that follow from this point should be consider part of that woman’s behavioral set, and in terms of the Medium being the message, should be assessed as her medium.

So what do we see in this case?

I’ve been back for 2 days now, and I’ve only had 1 discussion with her. She was pretty much at my feet when I got back, asking for forgiveness, and honestly, I was nowhere near thinking of breaking up with her. We didn’t talk much that night, just laid in bed, me holding her, thinking we could work this out. No. She has been an absolute wreck since she woke up 3 days ago, won’t look me in the eye, left home crazy early, returns extremely late, and hasn’t been returning texts or calls.

he is broken inside, and I don’t think she can forgive herself for what she did. I don’t know what to do, I can’t reach her…

On the surface we have the reports of this guy stating that she’s wracked with remorse and asking forgiveness. Sounds reasonable enough, right? No talking, cuddling, comfort and consolation, but wont look him in the eye, leaves early, comes back late. The guy presumes she’s broken inside and can’t forgive herself, but her behaviors imply that she’s disappointed in his reaction to just the marginal amount of information she’d related about her “infidelity”.

In his update we get this part, emphasis mine:

There were wet patches on that paper, and she pretty much wrote she fucked up big time and she was sorry. (She had already said these things last time I saw her.) Also said sorry she had shut me out, she didn’t know what to do, and that she didn’t think she deserved me after the way I treated her the night I got back. She has left for work now – (true, I called up someone I know there) – and she said she is done being an asshole, and would come home to and (I quote:) ” get out of my life once and for all. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you this week.”

In the post Gut Check I mention how men’s subconscious awareness subtly informs their conscious awareness by picking up on shifts in behavior, attitude and environment. Through our socialization, acculturation and Blue Pill conditioning, men are taught to suppress this natural, instinctual messaging that our gut is telling us. We do so because we fear being accused of male insecurity, jealousy and not subscribing wholesale to the equalist idea that men and women are co-equal rational agents who’ve evolved past anything like our baser natures.

Yet here, with the benefit of Red Pill awareness, we can see a perfect example of a guy suppressing what his peripheral awareness is basically screaming at him. This woman has essentially verified his Beta status by his default willingness to forgive her Alpha Fucks indiscretions with few (if any) questions asked. That test failed, she now hopes he will actually get angry enough to break up with her. Again, test failed, as all of his efforts are directed towards his unconditional love and forgiveness.

Please, Break Up with Me!

This woman is vocally telling him “please, break up with me”, but even this is ignored and rationalized away in his Blue Pill conditioned mindset that tells him all they need is open communication to solve her Hypergamous equation. She literally tells him, “you don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you.” This is part of her medium, this is her subconscious attempting to tell his subconscious how and why she’s done what she has, but his Blue Pill conditioning has suppressed any hope of that message being translated to him. Bear in mind here, this isn’t necessarily a case of a woman being intentionally malicious. Often this process is one in which she is only playing out as a semi-aware actor of her Hypergamous subroutine.

I’ve had guys relate many similar story in the same vein as this one. In all of them there is a subconscious hope that a paired man which a woman’s Hypergamous instinct has designated as Beta will just get it and understand that she wants him to break up with her. This may be overt, but more often it’s subtle. She’ll leave clues, breadcrumbs, for him to follow that indicate her infidelity in the hopes that he’ll become angry and break up with her. Maybe its an open diary, or an open social media account, or maybe just small convenient absences that are out of the ordinary, but the trail is one her subconscious hopes her man will discover and react to.

There are many reasons for this. The principle one being she desires an easily acknowledged reason for her exit from that pairing. Even if she’s been unfaithful women maintain large social support networks that forgive them of their sins – and this primarily because her girlfriends are living out the same Hypergamous subroutines themselves. It becomes rationalized away, chalked up to her “journey of self-discovery”, not something she was proud of, but a necessary part of her life in becoming “who she really is.”

 Blue Pill men get a sort of double jeopardy in this situation. Their conditioning predisposes them to believing that a woman’s communication is to always be taken as honest and at face value. This is really the source of a lot of Blue Pill mens’ self-inflicted wounds. They believe the notion that women and men are co-equal, rational agents whose evolved consciousness places them above natural instincts. Thus, they never make the Medium is the Message connection. Instead they consciously repress what those instincts, their own and women, are telling them.

When this instinctual suppression is combined with Blue Pill deferral to women and their false assumption that communication is the key to solving all intersexual problems, then you get into this situation. One where that woman desperately wants a guy to get so pissed off that her drops the hammer and leaves her, like she’d expect any Alpha lover to do. However, his Beta disposition makes this hope for anger an impossibility and the very Blue Pill conditioning that made him so acceptable as a provider and a comfort makes her exiting the relationship impossible without her feeling some actual guilt for having to take the initiative to leave him.

And this is where real feminine guilt becomes unavoidable. She’s the one who has to kill the puppy because his Blue Pill conditioning wont allow for him to become angry enough to do it himself. This is where her real guilt and real resentment of him come into play for her. He’s too accommodating and to ready to rationalize away his forgiveness for her to avoid the bad feelings she’s hoped to engender in him.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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kfg
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“There was a time when “tough” for a woman, was actually sexy.”

And that is why I have always preferred the “inferior remake” to the original. Yeah, Bergman was pretty enough, but she was such a dopey, weepy little thing it made her revolting.

Casablanca is a romance for teenage girls.

To Have and Have Not is a romance for grown men.

IAS
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@YaReally: on that particular MRP “FR” that I linked I think the guy shouldn’t take the wife back. Maybe he can take her back as a “Primary” and she will accept that with gratitude if he has enough game. This is why I wondered a while back about demoting a wife, in analogy with demoting a FWB to plate. But you pointed out (I think correctly) lots of drama would ensue unless there was a reason. In that case the guy has a reason. Also, the wife got together with 1 super beta guy that she admitted to, who knows… Read more »

Blaximus
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Do not fuck around and take a woman that’s been fucking another guy back, for the love of God.

Wtf is going on here????

Keep.It.Moving.Period.

sfer
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@Blaximus

“Do not fuck around and take a woman that’s been fucking another guy back, for the love of God.

Wtf is going on here????

Keep.It.Moving.Period.”

This is 100% right. Good lord.

sfer
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Smoking increases T levels in men and women. Probably the real reason for the decline in T levels in men since 70s is the decline in smoking (plus the obesity epidemic).

In women, the increase in T levels due to smoking will mean that they want to have sex more.

Blaximus
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Lately the comment waters are getting mudier than the Mississippi. What gives? YSG’s, spin all the plates you can. What’s the point of all of the mental gymnastics and cuck-like game playing? Stop it. Do not volunteer to keep leaping into bitche’s frames. Some days I gotta double check what blog I’m reading. Dominate and control these broads and fuck all of these gyrations. Boring? Don’t be boring for yourself. Newsflash – it’s not hard. Bored? How is that even possible? Have you travelled everywhere you possibly could? Is your knowledge base so massive that there’s nothing you could possibly… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@Saracen 3 : “”The giveaway here is that she sent a text as soon as it happened,
Two-timing bitches don’t do that.””
please explain. I don’t see a difference between texting right away out of guilt or waiting out of guilt.

Or maybe she realized that there was a witness to her makeout and leaving with the guy.

rugby11
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T levels decrease after 40
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-iWSa60-gyM
What a wonderful world.

theasdgamer
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@theasd no thanks. that sounds like catering to her for no real reason. once again, why is she so special? why am I catering to her need for drama after I got what I wanted from her originally? The context is an LTR where you promised exclusivity and likely cohabitation. (Of course, you avoid bruising the girls’ ego if she’s high self-esteem.) My list is about the emotional needs of girls in LTRs. If you want to manage a girl’s emotions and keep her relatively sane, you fulfill her emotional needs. Think of it as constant gaming. Otoh, if you… Read more »

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IAS who knows if the guy should care – Betas mate guard, Alphas disregard/i> This is a very nuanced topic… it all depends on how it is done. At a certain point a failure to do anything is a beta move. And letting your girl be fucked by another dude is a beta move… though many will try and couch it as outcome independence. The difference is whether you are exercising proprietary claim over the girl or not, if she is just some random girl you don’t give a rat’s ass about… OK all well and good. At the end… Read more »

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@Auvergnat October 26, 2016 at 1:48 am How does formatting works in these comments? *markdown?* html? something else? formatting works as HTML except you use the less than and greater than symbols instead of brackets [……\]. @Ya “It’s like covering up the cockpit windows on a plane and trusting all those instruments on the dashboard to help you fly and land the plane…you can see how much people REALLY believe those instruments work, and how many think they only work when you’re below a certain altitude or on the ground or are just LARP’ing that they believe the instruments because… Read more »

theasdgamer
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who knows if the guy should care – Betas mate guard, Alphas disregard/i>

I can think of one circumstance where alphas will mate guard…if the mate signals that she wants guarding. Mrs. Gamer has done that exactly once in several decades. Yeah, there was an alpha hitting on her. He didn’t do that again and I didn’t mind him dancing with Mrs. Gamer after he asked my permission on another night.

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I had the opposite experience. “Please, Get back together again with me.”

Divorced with her insistence. A few months later, calls back constantly. Want to talk. Having none of it, I told her I can’t talk to her.

Many years later, gotten engaged. She somehow showed up at the same restaurant for the wedding rehearsal dinner. Coincidence?

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@ YaReally “Madison Infield” It’s painful to watch the blond dude (the one who’s saying “Whats going ON here?” in the end) hitting on the blonde girl. From the awkward hail mary hands-on-shoulder move at 34:07 to her bodylanguage while he’s kissing her at 36:18 (she’s like: “Oh shit, he’s kissing me, fuck, I’m drunk, I don’t want him, he’s so clingy, fuck, now it’s happening, whatever, shit, need to get out/away asap …”) to her shoulder-tapping/pushing him away at 36:28 to practically RUNNING to the cab away from him lol turning and calling her friend (the one Madison and… Read more »

Sentient
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Culum Gives me new perspective on what HABD always says about how when I don’t escalate on a girl in front of me who is giving me IOIs, I’m actually DEPRIVING her of something she wants – just like these girls desperately wanted the guy to make a move and he didn’t.. Sooo how do you think your waitress felt? LOL TIP – If you are looking to get a waitresses number and want to be low key, when you get the check and they say “anything else” etc. you just say “yes, write your number on my receipt”… and… Read more »

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@sentient So gay Yareally…. don’t leave out the part that this was before Scray learned game, much lest mastered it… oh wait that’s right Scray left that part out too it seems. Is this right Scray? the fact that I didn’t know game at the time doesn’t mean that the behaviors that initially attracted her weren’t congruent with game. that’s how like 90% of betas snag a cute girl in the first place solid game is like accidentally attractive is like @culum Most unusually I went out for a few drinks yesterday in Small Town with a visiting friend/work contact.… Read more »

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Culum Small Town purgatory… Even more unusually a bar nearby had a few decent looking waitresses – a couple of 7s and a 6. OK this is what I mean by doing the HARD WORK… I’ll tell you since Hank is too fragile to listen… You are in a shitty town… you say… and don’t want to bang social circle girls who are throwing themselves at you [eh… w/e]… so what do YOU DO when you actually see “hot enough” girls in YOUR hood? Do you think they sprouted up like mushrooms after the rain? Or perhaps you know maybe… Read more »

mersonia
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“Do not fuck around and take a woman that’s been fucking another guy back, for the love of God.

Wtf is going on here????

Keep.It.Moving.Period.”

Alot of guys don’t think theres anything for them to move on to

MikePhil
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@The MaceStomp – Thanks for that article. The whole thing so dripping with rationalization, her hamster wheel had probably broken the sound barrier. One of the best jewels is this line, “I felt like if he had been here, he would actually be happy for me and all my newfound excitement. ” If women can find a way to snake out of responsibility and duck the consequences, they’ll take it without a moment’s hesitation. @ChunkyMonkey”Kind”, “nice,” “honest,” and “sweet” are straight up LJBF tells. She’s signaling that she recognizes Beta status and she’ll never drop her panties for you. It… Read more »

kfg
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” . . . you purposely accuse her of cheating on you and walk out on her (easy to do since you didn’t get legally married, right?). . .”

Blaximus
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@ mersonia

I agree that guys don’t believe there’s anything to move on to.

Scarcity mindset.

This is why I keep repeating – 3.5 billion women on the planet, instead of debating whether a guy should take a chick back, or let them go so they can get boned by other guys, and then take them back because they’ve ” learned some kind of lesson “.

Lmao.

Shitty advice is shitty.

kfg
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Wrong.

” . . . if I suggest THAT, then I’m just a fucking asshole who doesn’t understand anything about anything. lol”

You are an expert at pickup. An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less.

I sense a period of having to endure a period of pitiless “I told you so,” in your future. Perhaps you can hang out in the mancave wth Kate’s exes.

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Scray

the fact that I didn’t know game at the time doesn’t mean that the behaviors that initially attracted her weren’t congruent with game. that’s how like 90% of betas snag a cute girl in the first place

True. But having a game aware and RP mindset allows for a very different LTR result… which is the point.

newlyaloof
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@Scray, man I love those animated graphics you’ve been dropping lately. Those last three especially. What are your gif spots on the net?

kfg
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Well that came out strange. Wireless keyboard had a seizure.

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@YaReally, I updated my summary page of all your comments to include your Halloween comments. Kicking myself for not stepping up as much as I could have during past Halloweens. https://newlyaloof.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/why-yareally-need-to-learn-game/

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@ Rollo

Thanks. I couldn’t remember when you spoke of Krauser’s deep conversion thing.

I’d love to see more guys get an understanding of this.

I tend to think that dread isn’t well understood generally, because of the drumbeat that married men have more difficulty using passive or overt dread strictly because married.

Any man in any form of relationship can develop and use dread on some level.

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@Disgruntled Earthling “”I’m curious – I might be approaching something like that soon. At what point is it acceptable for her to see other guys without you (me) caring. FWB? FB? Just meet up for sex and spend no $ on her like dinners/movies?”” Ok, a few experiences to relate to. One plate who I started banging was also banging a friend of mine. He was also banging other chicks while banging her—basically everyone was banging everyone but no one was saying anything. I didn’t have a problem at all with that situation. She’d make me steak dinners and was… Read more »

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@Blaximus, I remember when I first was learning game that I would put my phone on vibrate in case one of my exs would call or text me, since I’ve remained in on/off contacting for years. But now, I actively set my phone to ring and open my email program before I walk into the room where she is. When she hears the chime, she get’s that tone in her voice as she asks, “So… who’s texting you?” I’m not a smart man, but I know what soft dread is! lol!

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@Blaximus

Rollo mentioned it here:

https://therationalmale.com/2016/09/25/for-better-or-worse/comment-page-8/#comment-171804

Rollo Tomassi
September 29, 2016 at 3:57 pm
I should add here that women DO need the correction of men. How this correction is implemented is really what’s at issue. I agree with YaReally about being the apex male in a woman’s life as a means to initiating this correction.

And a bunch of links to his essays and an explaination of Krauser’s Deep conversion.

(as an aside you can google search this site for keywords by typing “site:therationalmale.com…” followed keywords such as “…Krauser deep conversion” or your avatar name followed by key words included

scray
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@sentient True. But having a game aware and RP mindset allows for a very different LTR result… which is the point. lol HOW CAN I BE ALPHA AND BETA AT THE SAME TIME seems to be the the goal Alphas are not in LTR’s, dude. They are out slaying new pussy every week. On to the next. No commitment, no attachment. why would a rockstar badass player who could replace her any day of the week promise her anything? honestly? there is no fucking reason. women sense this on a gut, primal level. now, this faint impulse, in the past…may… Read more »

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Thanks SJF.

Last week I was trying to remember so I could link to the deep conversion thing, but I had a mind fart and could not find Rollo’s mention of it.

Lol. I won’t forget again, that’s for sure.

Sentient
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Rollo I would suggest there are more nuanced and passive forms of dread a guy might use in that situation, but the effect and the desired behavior modification is the same Yes! Anything at all that is you taking your attention from her can be dread… even sitting next to her and not saying anything… just lost in your own thoughts… You can “leave her” and not move a muscle… but for this to work you have had to have had her to start with. And I think most of the guys posting otherwise have simply never had that experience…… Read more »

Blaximus
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Funny, my wife wasn’t older and pre/post menopausal when I married her. Hmmmm…

I’d like a headcount of women that have thousands of IG followers and a bunch of Chad’s at work , along with betakissasses or whatever.

Sometimes, just sometimes, men can overinflate females without them having to actually do very much at all.

Ohhhhhh ….. Teh big bad wimminz…..

Sentient
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Scray

why would a rockstar badass player who could replace her any day of the week promise her anything?

Because he can and because he wants to.

You’ll see…. maybe. Right now you are too caught up in your memelife…

http://dailyentertainmentnews.com/wpgo/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Jon-Bon-Jovi-wife-Dorothea-Hurley-Bongiovi.jpg

27 years and counting… (1989)

buuut

comment image

He did all this when he wanted to do it… and when he didn’t he didn’t.

Sentient
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Doing what you want to do when you want to do it… that is Alpha.

mersonia
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“I’d like a headcount of women that have thousands of IG followers and a bunch of Chad’s at work , along with betakissasses or whatever.”

Get out more

john penick
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can i be taken off the email list please, thank you >

scray
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@sentient

Because he can and because he wants to.

Yeah that’s not a real answer.

More likely answer:

SOCIAL CONDITIONING CATCHES HIM AND HE FEELS THE PRESSURE AND CAVES (“BETA” for the folks at home) SO HE DOES SOMETHING TO ALLEVIATE THE PRESSURE (“BETA” for the folks at home)

More likely answer:

He married her in the middle of a huge worldwide tour and was likely feeling exhausted (read: WEAK) and looking for a refuge. then after the tour, unsurprisingly, band goes on hiatus and never recovers former glory.

the answer is the same —>

weakened —> beta —> grin

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There’s been some talk of “plategaurding” on this thread I’m curious as to the general consensus on how best to manage plates. I currently have Two plates and a long distance plate that I’ll see only when I visit Italy to see my son. * I don’t tell my plates about my other plates, but I haven’t promised exclusivity either. If they ask do I see other girls I lie but in a charming way with a grin when I answer, I think they get it! * I fuck both my regular plates without condoms (I’m on male birth control… Read more »

Blaximus
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Lol @ mersonia.

I am out. That’s why I speak up.

Stop assuming so much about me.

Or don’t.😁😁😂😂

scray
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@sentient

Doing what you want to do when you want to do it… that is Alpha.

K cutting your balls off while watching a chick you’re attracted to get fucked by five dudes who then gangrape you in the asshole afterwards is alpha as fuck as long as you ‘want it’ then….

come on, dudebros.

lettuce be cereal.

scray
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@play

Should I really care what my plates are up to when I’m not around? Emotionally I don’t, at least I don’t think about or dwell on the possibility but because of the potential STD risk maybe I should care more?

no.

and the second they occupy more thought than necessary or start to give you drama or whatever, just….NEXT.

even starting to go ‘man what is X up to? why aren’t they contacting me? what if she gets an STD?’ to me is like. ….’you know what, fuck it…GHOSTMODE’

Sentient
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Scray – you are reading minds now? from the past?

Likely feeling exhausted…. LOL from fucking 1,000 groupies maybe…?

By your own logic SHE being a hot young woman in 1989 – should have left HIM because women get bored and he was acting beta by marrying her… and she would get bored…

LOL

scray
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@blax

Funny, my wife wasn’t older and pre/post menopausal when I married her. Hmmmm…

you mean years and years ago before current propaganda, social media, etc.?

coolstory broheim

Blaximus
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Oh mersonia, I forgot to say again that I have zero fear. Especially of any kind of woman.

So I observed and inquire just as I’ve always done for the past 42 years and counting.

Fuck followers and orbiters and anything else. Lol.

Develop one’s self so that none of that shit matters.

Or do you believe that this is not ever possible???

Blaximus
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If you believe it’s not even possible, congratulations!!!! The FI has you firmly ensconced in the matrix.

Relax…..

scray
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@sentient The inferences aren’t unreasonable. He married her in the middle of a tour. After that tour the band never regained their glory. Maybe you think all of those things have no relation to each other. Cool. The star had fallen by the mid 90’s. There’s even a famous FRIENDS episode where they diss him — his attractiveness, specifically. By your own logic SHE being a hot young woman in 1989 – should have left HIM because women get bored and he was acting beta by marrying her… and she would get bored… first, is this a young ‘hot’ woman… Read more »

SJF
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“ He married her in the middle of a huge worldwide tour and was likely feeling exhausted (read: WEAK) and looking for a refuge. then after the tour, unsurprisingly, band goes on hiatus and never recovers former glory. That’s not actually true. http://ultimateclassicrock.com/bon-jovi-married/ Into the late ’80s, Bon Jovi would release two blockbuster albums back-to-back — 1986’s Slippery When Wet and 1988’s New Jersey, both of which went No. 1 and sold close to a combined 50 million copies. The world was in the palm of their hands. But, Bon Jovi said, something was still missing: “I had the No.… Read more »

Sentient
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Very strained Scray… that girl is much hotter than the <25YO 2016 "7" Madison is touting as being super hot btw…

How do you know? see?

.he probably does everything he can to keep her happy because he knows a lot of his money is GONZO if she leaves. Ha he he…

I’m sure you are right… you have such a window into their world…

actually I prefer the gifs… they allow me to at least think you are smarter than you are…

rugby11
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scray
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@Sentient

Very strained Scray… that girl is much hotter than the <25YO 2016 "7" Madison is touting as being super hot btw…

1989 != 2016 SMV

everyone wasn’t a fatass in 1989. Sorry! It isn’t strained at all. It’s based on reality.

And my “window into their world” are reasonable inferences about human behavior GIVEN what we know about divorce rape in the U.S.

My social conditioning reasoning is based on the fact that Bon Jovi is from Jersey, which means he’s probably Roman Catholic, which means that social pressure existed — and moreso back then because people married and had kids much earlier.

Sentient
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Scray And my “window into their world” are reasonable inferences about human behavior GIVEN what we know about divorce rape in the U.S. Are you going gamma on us man? sooo according to your logic… again… Bon Jovi lost his Alpha card by marrying her to begin with, especially since she was a fat pig and he couldn’t get better and she hates that, then this was compounded by his complete failure as a musician and actor post nuptials as evidenced by a “Friends” episode, which led him to be so beta he hit the “max” setting, which made her… Read more »

Blaximus
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…. I’m not Roman Catholic…. lol😁😀

scray
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@Sentient Bon Jovi lost his Alpha card by marrying her to begin with ya especially since she was a fat pig and he couldn’t get better and she hates that didn’t say any of that , then this was compounded by his complete failure as a musician and actor post nuptials as evidenced by a “Friends” episode didn’t say any of that which led him to be so beta he hit the “max” setting, which made her soooo bored of him that she divorce raped him to realize his gonzo wealth (despite his aforementioned failure) cash and prizes didn’t say… Read more »

kfg
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Bon Jovi says: “We did it for us and didn’t give a damn,” Bon Jovi told VH1. “I got a lot of heat from it, between the band, my parents, Doc [McGhee, Bon Jovi’s manager]. Everybody was pissed off.” Scray responds: “My social conditioning reasoning is based on the fact that Bon Jovi is from Jersey, which means he’s probably Roman Catholic, which means that social pressure existed . . .” Were you mackin’ on all the slender hotties in ’89? It’s one thing to tell the “dinosaurs” what things are like in “your time,” but rather another to lecture… Read more »

Sentient
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Scray – what’s fascinating is you guys apparently can’t remember what you post just minutes ago… I mean, it is right there…

SJF
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If someone is going to argue against having any LTR at all (including with the mother of his children), he would do better not using Bon Jovi as an example.

I mean look at his sub-comms. Or google image search “John Bon Jovi looking unhappy”–(pretty much all that will get you is smiles and alpha smirks).

IAS
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@Rollo @YaReally:

I posted this some days or weeks ago but I didn’t break the URL in half so it auto-expanded.

This is a post on pLTRs from a guy that (claims to) has several years experience

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/
comments/56fj7v/fr_multiple_girlfriends_multiple_lives_lived_in/

Potentially helpful for working out the plan.

kfg
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kfg
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I did Yes Something September instead.

EhIntellect
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@Marquis I assume they’re all shit tests for fitness. About half the terminology and acronyms I need to look up. Semantics maybe. Yesterday: Missus texts me immediately after work (good sign) and tells me tamales for dinner (good sign). She’s caring to serve me. I text right back I’ll get the wine (red blend is all she’ll drink now). I buy six bottles, 4 favorites and two new ones. She sends a cutesy emoticon. Home now and she’s busy doing wifey kitchen prep whilst the kids noisily do the homework. I come in for a little sugar and she’s curt… Read more »

kfg
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“Potentially helpful for working out the plan.”

How many genetic offspring with how many baby mamas does he have?

scray
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@sentient

I mean, it is right there

please quote the exact time and post where I said these words:

“his complete failure as a musician and actor post nuptials as evidenced by a “Friends” episode”

“she was a fat pig and he couldn’t get better and she hates that”

“made her soooo bored of him that she divorce raped him to realize his gonzo wealth”

Go ahead.

“it is right there” right?

comment image

scray
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@kfg Were you mackin’ on all the slender hotties in ’89? It’s one thing to tell the “dinosaurs” what things are like in “your time,” but rather another to lecture them about what things were like in “their time.” I was going to take the time and explain to you why this is an issue about you guys not having the honed ability to read between lines blah blah blah, but then i found this… Bon Jovi was raised Catholic.[10] He spent summers in Erie, Pennsylvania, with his grandparents, and sold newspapers Bon Jovi describes himself as a recovering Catholic… Read more »

DisgruntledEarthling
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@Eh
“I’ve wondered if anyone else does the following:
Lady’ll be talking, I’ll close my eyes…”

I don’t close my eyes but she’ll stop and say “what are you thinking” with a dirty smirk. I’ve been laser-eyeing her and making sex the primary ‘topic’ since the beginning of the relationship. Thanks to the good advice here!

DisgruntledEarthling
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@Eh
“She sat there quietly, breathy whispered “It’s so fun to be with you.””
This

IAS
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@KFG: you can read the post, but if I recall he got involved with the kids of the Primarys (whichever that one was at the time).

Off-topic: I personally don’t want kids and don’t quite understand why so many men want to propagate their genes. It’s programmed in I think, there must have been a flaw in my genetic programming.

Sentient
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EhIntellect

Your wife sounds incredibly bored… how many years now?

divorce rape is imminent… brace for impact and all… LOL

mersonia
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“Oh mersonia, I forgot to say again that I have zero fear. Especially of any kind of woman.” Yeah everyone’s afraid of something even you you manly man man “Fuck followers and orbiters and anything else. Lol.” Yeah fuck them but that doesn’t mean their not there…… I’m not big on fucking guys tho really so… “Develop one’s self so that none of that shit matters.” That’s the goal but it’s more like….. Develop yourself and work through shit because it does matter” “Or do you believe that this is not ever possible??” Oh blaxxy. Humans went to the moon…no… Read more »

rugby11
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rugby11
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intelligence.
openness.
conscientiousness.
agreeableness.
stability.
extraversion.

kfg
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kfg
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@IAS: ” you can read the post” I’ve read it more than once. ” . . . if I recall he got involved with the kids of the Primarys . . .” That’s right, with the weak implication that he had no kids of his own. Ergo, it isn’t directly relevant to The Plan. “. . . (whichever that one was at the time).” Which relates indirectly. There is an implication that there was a fair amount of churn in the stack, including the primary. That is outside the parameters of The Plan. He also explicitly warns that your whole… Read more »

Blaximus
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” Off-topic: I personally don’t want kids and don’t quite understand why so many men want to propagate their genes. It’s programmed in I think, there must have been a flaw in my genetic programming.”

I don’t want a Shetland Pony. I don’t care what people that want/own them do.

Blaximus
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@ mersonia Well, at least we’re not sniping… Cool. ” “Oh mersonia, I forgot to say again that I have zero fear. Especially of any kind of woman.” Yeah everyone’s afraid of something even you you manly man man Nope. I eliminated fear from my life as it’s serves less purpose than understanding. “Fuck followers and orbiters and anything else. Lol.” Yeah fuck them but that doesn’t mean their not there…… I’m not big on fucking guys tho really so… I still say they are not there for every woman in the hoardes as being described. My experience and the… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ KFG

“Were you mackin’ on all the slender hotties in ’89? It’s one thing to tell the “dinosaurs” what things are like in “your time,” but rather another to lecture them about what things were like in “their time.”

Thank you sir. It had escaped me to make this point months ago.

There seems to be a misrepresentation that prior to 2000, women were just throwing themselves on guy’s dicks.

I was there and I do not recall this being the case.

Marellus
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Rollo,

You might want to take a look at this. It’s about an 18 Year Old NZ girl fishing for worshippers in online gaming forums.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/25/youtuber-gets-gamers-to-humiliate-themselves-before-urging-them-to-commit-suicide-6215401/

Andy
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Andy
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“Nope. I eliminated fear from my life as it’s serves less purpose than understanding.”

http://thejeurnalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/16.gif

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ Andy

BOOOO!!!!!

Blaximus
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@ Andy

So, am I to understand that you don’t think eliminating fear is possible?

IAS
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IAS
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@Blaximus: do you mean you have no fear, or you trained yourself to react despite having fear? Important distinction. If the former, you are probably a psychopath (no offense meant).

Sentient
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Blax

I think he is having trouble with the “understanding” part…

Andy
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“So, am I to understand that you don’t think eliminating fear is possible?” Dude, they need to freeze your brain, study it, and then maybe send it to the Smithsonian to be frozen so they can study it again in 2000 years… I do think it’s possible. The difference between me and you is that you take your world view as “truth” and make your mindsets conform to make that view work, however contradictory they may be to someone like me… On the other hand *I* need to know the actual definitive real TRUTH. Of course what I just said… Read more »

mersonia
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@Blaximus
“But I don’t read anything about guys developing. I read about fear and exaggerations and ” plans ” that have nothing to do with self improvement at all.”

comment image

Most of us don’t come here to stroke our dicks and talk about what life improvements and shit we had. Mostly just to see new viewpoints and discuss issues…. like the marriage ones

Sentient
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IAS

@Blaximus: do you mean you have no fear, or you trained yourself to react despite having fear? Important distinction. If the former, you are probably a psychopath (no offense meant).

Now we are peeling the onion… this explains much…

Blaximus
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@ Sentient ” You can “leave her” and not move a muscle… but for this to work you have had to have had her to start with. And I think most of the guys posting otherwise have simply never had that experience… of having a ride or die girl, of having a girl that would climb out window to come see you etc. ” this. There is a strong push to either judge all guys by one measure, or to attribute things to some mystical period on a calendar. But it does simply boil down to experience and experiences in… Read more »

IAS
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@Sentient: you are going KFG on me, but that was too cryptic. I didn’t get the onion remark. Is it to say there are layers?
Or that you think I’m going to cry smile

Softek
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@ Sentient As far as women go, my development is on hiatus. Been feeling like it’s on the backburner and other developments are taking priority lately. Been focusing a lot on building up skills and business. Last night I was sleep deprived and irritated and threw a little shit fit over a job I got in that I couldn’t figure out. The stress got to me and I was beating myself up thinking I wasn’t good enough, etc. So I decided to go out to a movie with a good friend to clear my head. Laughed our asses off, had… Read more »

Sentient
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IAS – just that things make more sense when you are considering someone who has acted without fear to be a psychopath. I can think of dozens of times I’ve acted without fear or trained to suppress fear. So of course you have perspectives that cannot align. The difference between me and you is that you take your world view as “truth” and make your mindsets conform to make that view work, however contradictory they may be to someone like me… On the other hand *I* need to know the actual definitive real TRUTH. This reminds me of Blax and… Read more »

Blaximus
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@ Andy

Real quick….

Your *truth* and my *truth* will not line up because we are 2 different people, with 2 totally different life experiences.

I can share my truth with you, and you can reject it, thus not gain understanding ( there’s that damn word again…).

If you’d already known about RP and TRM, you would not have learned anything, right? But you read and gained understanding somewhat.

IAS
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You misunderstood. I don’t think either you or Blaximus are literally fearless. He just trained himself to act regardless of fear. That is my definition of courage. I don’t think courage is absence of fear. There are other situations where you have done X so many times you don’t fear it, when someone else would. I think for example of a professional tightrope walker that just knows he won’t fall – he isn’t afraid from walking the tightrope. He most likely would still be afraid of falling off a cliff top without a parachute, though. But no matter how bad… Read more »

The Mace Stomp
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My father has no frame at all is there any way to make my mother respect him she is very confrontational with him as for me, i have found my self as her over protected son; as I reached teenage she started treating me the same and followed me to school so that I don’t get kidnapped or something it was a major blow to confidence probably what lead me towards introversion I couldn’t escape because she would just follow she has also painted perception of my father as evil in my consciousness and who would not believe their mother… Read more »

The Mace Stomp
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my father is very laid back in fact too much so he just takes it telling him red pill is stupid so that’s not an option
the red pill explained everything to me & manosphere is a positive influence
it gave me understanding i needed (when no one else will)

newlyaloof
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@Mace,

“Is there any way to make my MOTHER respect him?”

Yeah, have your father respect himself first. Probably can’t unplug him, but have him read this site’s “best of year 1” stuff, and perhaps heartiste’s post “Relationship Game Week – Dave From Hawaii.”

The Lone Planet
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The best mind is a narrow one.

newlyaloof
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@Mace,

P.S. You could blame your father, but did he get taught red pill from his dad? If he didn’t, you’d have to blame your grandfather too, and his father, and his father. Best to accept their shortcomings and concentrate on your own world.

Softek
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RP truth bomb:

“Why didn’t Desmond Doss ever compromise a little and carry a weapon?”

“I knew if I ever once compromised, I was gonna be in trouble,” said Desmond, “because if you can compromise once, you can compromise again.”

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