This week we had an interesting situation arise in the comment threads. A new(?) reader, Mitch, dropped in to recount his affair with a Ukrainian woman he’d become enamored with, emphasis mine:
I’d like to encourage men who still want a good wife to look East. As in, Russia, Ukraine and other former USSR counties. I cannot begin to tell you how encouraged and revitalized I am by this woman I met – and by most of the women I met and interacted with before I found “the One.”
Full stop. Whenever a man even casually mentions a woman as ‘the ONE‘ you know he’s still clinging to his Blue Pill, feminine-primary conditioning. This is your first signal of a man’s mindset and is a glaring Beta Tell.
Next Mitch moves on to qualify the object of his, still unmet, ONEitis:
The biggest difference between these women and western women are three things: 1) They have a strong desire to find “their Right Man”. Educated, smart, attractive women with careers find life is not meaningful without husband and family. 2) What they require from a man is reliability, respectfulness and willingness to provide for a family. They want to be treated respectfully and well, but they definitely want to be treated like a woman. 3) They have no ambivalence whatsoever about being appealing to their man.
They celebrate this about themselves, their femininity and sex appeal. These women are genuine, direct, and have no time for games and are generally not interested (but are quite aware of) western feminism. Interestingly, during Soviet times women were “emancipated” from the homes and out into the factory and collectives, and the government propaganda machine even downplayed and tried to discourage marriage. So these women really know what all this means, and since the collapse of the USSR, (which has been a mixed bag for them in many ways) they have enthusiastically embraced traditional gender and marriage relationships. In fact, my woman very explicitly told me early on that she had no interest in an egalitarian relationship – and she has been very clear about what she wants and expects from me, and I couldn’t be more delighted.
(I’ve spent a week with her in person, talk on Skype a couple times a day, am meeting her in Italy in 7 weeks, after which she comes back here, hopefully for good. Oh, and she’s gorgeous and awesome in a million different ways. Wish me luck…. )
Sounds like a Blue Pill dream come true, right? I haven’t done a case study in some time so I’m going to take Mitch’s situation here and riff on it a bit. I really think it’s good to review certain fundamentals for the sake of men who are new to my work, but also for Red Pill men to understand the Blue Pill way of thinking to better help men like Mitch to unplug.
In The Purple Pill I outlined the process by which previously Red Pill men degrade themselves back into their Blue Pill mindsets. Most do this in the same fashion as someone like Tucker Max. They renounce their Red Pill behaviors and, for the most part, make attempts to compartmentalize the harsh truths they know women would rather they didn’t know or expose to other men. Guys of this Purple Pill stripe still cling (or return to clinging) to their old Blue Pill idealism in the hopes that the goals their old conditioning taught them was still possible.
This Purple Pill man still has had some exposure to, and practice with, a Red Pill awareness. The difference is that due to some life circumstance (unplanned or “accidental” pregnancy) or some part of his Beta self he was unable to disconnect from (the soul mate myth) in his Red Pill awareness.
However, Mitch represents another type of Purple Pill man. This is the guy who’s become Red Pill aware, but believes he can make his Blue Pill idealism work in a Red Pill context from the outset of his partial unplugging. As a result, there’s a certain degree of affirmation seeking men of this stripe look for from other men in Red Pill forums. That affirmation is entirely based in the false hope that he can use Red Pill truths to achieve Blue Pill goals. Thus, he looks for affirmation in this feminine-primary idealism without realizing he’s really just asking Red Pill men for their permission to persist in his Blue Pill hope while calling it Red Pill for himself.
Mitch goes on over several comments in an effort to get this permission to define his ONEitis as a Red Pill goal by qualifying her in every Blue Pill way imaginable. Needless to say the stink of Blue Pill conditioning wasn’t hard for my forum members to identify. He insists he’s read my work well enough to be considered Red Pill aware, but his actions and attitudes with this woman tell a much different story.
When called out on this fact we get the obligatory, “Lol…you guys can go fuck yourselves..”
Lol…you guys can go fuck yourselves. I appreciate where ya’ll are coming from, though. Trying to save me from myself. And i appreciate how naive my post must sound to a bunch of hard core red pillers like yourselves. However, I am not nearly as inexperienced with women and LTR’s as ya’ll assume. I have learned a lot from red pill in general and this site in particular – it’s very insightful and helpful, and I’ve adjusted my attitude and posture toward women because of it. At the same time, though, it strikes me that many of you are taking on red pill ideas as a kind of ideology, and that’s its own kind of danger. The absolute certainty that ya’ll think you know all you need to know about me and my woman and my relationship from that very brief post is what I mean. As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman. Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then I feel sorry for you. Red pill helps me tremendously in seeing more clearly what is going on. I totally get that I am a beta provider for her, that a large part of my appeal is what I can provide, and I get that she is turned on by alpha traits. Both of these things can coexist in the same person. Understanding this and what’s behind it makes me feel less anxious and insecure about that, because I’m more clear about what to do.
Also, being a beta provider does not make me a bitch. Providing for my woman and family is a large part of what makes me a man, and I derive great satisfaction and pride in doing so.
Also, I am not in any way “settling” for a 44 yo woman. Younger women were/are available to me, but that is not what i choose.
There’s a lot more to life than fucks and bucks, but if that’s all it is for you, then this is the type of woman you will attract. In a relationship, what you get is what you are. If I can’t find a way to live with an open heart, then I don’t know what the fucking point is. But, to each his own.
I don’t get mad with responses like this. It’s really all part of men’s unplugging. I’ve said it a million times, unplugging men from the Matrix is dirty work. Understand this now if you ever hope to aid a guy in coming to the Red Pill, there will always be a lot of anger, denial and frustration that comes from the disillusionment of breaking a man’s ego-investment in a Blue Pill mindset that he’s been conditioned to for the better part of his lifetime.
I found Mitch’s story engaging because it so faithfully follows the progression of rationales Purple Pill men will use in order to hold fast to their old, comfortable mindset. Thus, you see the binary extremes of anything that contradicts those old investments:
The absolute certainty that ya’ll think you know all you need to know about me and my woman and my relationship from that very brief post is what I mean. As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman.
Here we see the attempt to cast doubt, but also a plea for confirmation of theory. He wants to believe that because there are no hard-fast conclusions of the uncomfortable aspects of the Red Pill that the possibility exists that his Blue Pill hopes may still be valid.
Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then I feel sorry for you.
Disqualification, but wrapped in the magical romantic language of Blue Pill idealism. Add a bit of pseudo-heartfelt pity for the men who wont reaffirm his idealisms.
Red pill helps me tremendously in seeing more clearly what is going on. I totally get that I am a beta provider for her, that a large part of my appeal is what I can provide, and I get that she is turned on by alpha traits. Both of these things can coexist in the same person. Understanding this and what’s behind it makes me feel less anxious and insecure about that, because I’m more clear about what to do.
Later on in the comments, Mitch tries to reassure me he’s thoroughly read my essays, but it’s obvious he hasn’t read The Myth of the Good Guy after making this comment. Most of his remaining comments are variations of this, to which he’s entirely oblivious of how apparent his Blue Pill nature is to the forum.
Feel free to read through the conversations, but they all came to a head in his most recent admission here:
Guys, thanks for sticking with me.
I sent her a text this morning that basically said I am going to fuck you in Italy. I love you, and this is what’s going down. We’ve had a number of conversations about sex before, about what didn’t happen in Odessa, etc. But I never pushed too hard. She says can we talk. So I skype her. And we go round and round about this. I’m staying calm, even sweet. But firm. The solipsism is off the charts – of course I’d seen this every time we argue, but eh, she’s a woman, what else is new? I just keep gently and firmly sticking to the topic, and she’s doing all she can to change it. Lashing out at me, saying I’m mentally ill, she thought I was different than other men, I’m trying to rape her, etc. Saying I’ve blown our relationship, she has all what I want, but I’m blowing it, good bye. On and on. Jesus Christ.
I’m now strongly suspecting bpd. These women are a fucking magnet for me. I did have interactions with very normal, genuine nice women over there – and tended to be religious – one very nice woman that I enjoyed talking to was very upfront from the beginning that she’s strong Catholic and will not have sex before marriage. I respect that completely. That didn’t even chase me off. It’s just that this other woman was so much more compelling. If she is bpd, she is the third experience I’ve had with this type. They are like catnip to me. Now that I see it, I’m definitely not going down that road with her because I’m all too aware of where it inevitably leads. Good. But, still..fuck!
Mitch, you’re not going to like what I’m about to type here for you, but just know that it’s a necessary kick in the ass and I’m in no way trying to flame you. As I mentioned in my last comment to you, you really need to read all of the links in my Year One collection.
I’m going to pick apart your latest report about this girl you ‘love’ and I think you should really give yourself some time to consider what you think has been your half-measure unplugging.
I sent her a text this morning that basically said I am going to fuck you in Italy. I love you, and this is what’s going down.We’ve had a number of conversations about sex before, about what didn’t happen in Odessa, etc. But I never pushed too hard. She says can we talk.
Two things here; first, you are using texting as a Buffer. This is what I would expect from a teenager or someone with an adolescent social skill set. Texting you ‘love’ her and convincing yourself you do after no more than a week of in-person interaction is a major, jumbotron-scale signal that you are not only Beta and Blue Pill, but also you subscribe to a scarcity mentality. This is rule one.
Secondly, you cannot negotiate genuine desire. You having conversations about how you’re going to fuck her in Italy are evidence that you really have no clue how Game works. Your pre-sex talks about having sex are again a major signal of your Blue Pill headspace:
Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.
When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fuck you will find a way to fuck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, fuck the shit out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to fuck will find a way to fuck. The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who fucked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.
Your conversations are all evidence that you buy into the ‘open communication’ Blue Pill narrative.
So I skype her. And we go round and round about this. I’m staying calm, even sweet. [Beta] But firm.[still thinking RP men will say that’s Alpha] The solipsism is off the charts – of course I’d seen this every time we argue, but eh, she’s a woman, what else is new?[attempt to confirm RP terms, and another plea for affirmation]
I just keep gently and firmly sticking to the topic, and she’s doing all she can to change it. Lashing out at me, saying I’m mentally ill, she thought I was different than other men, I’m trying to rape her, etc. Saying I’ve blown our relationship, she has all what I want, but I’m blowing it, good bye. On and on. Jesus Christ.
All this woman is doing is confirming your status as a Beta for her. Likely she thought you’d be an easy mark, but your overt insistence on preplanned, negotiated and scheduled sex has made her lose interest in you even as a Beta provider.
I’m now strongly suspecting bpd. These women are a fucking magnet for me. I did have interactions with very normal, genuine nice women over there – and tended to be religious – one very nice woman that I enjoyed talking to was very upfront from the beginning that she’s strong Catholic and will not have sex before marriage. I respect that completely.
This woman is not suffering from BPD, she’s responding how most women would when they have a man’s Beta status overtly confirmed for them. You believe these ‘types’ of women are drawn to you when in fact you have the same effect on every woman when you overtly demonstrate your lower value to them by sticking to your Beta Game while thinking it’s some how the correct, Red Pill way of dealing with women.
The only reason you believe you respect a Catholic woman is because you have no choice but to respect her because she reaffirms your Blue Pill nature, but still wont fuck you.
I’m going to invite the commenters to address Mitch’s situation in the comment thread, but I’ll start here by saying you really need to thoroughly read through my posts (or books if you prefer). You are in no way ‘woke’ to a Red Pill awareness Mitch. For as much as you believe you are, your behaviors, your mindset, all point to a guy who’s read some Red Pill ideas, but can’t disconnect from his Blue Pill hopes and attitudes.
You’re trying to force fit a Blue Pill hope into a Red Pill reality. This is why the last 3 women you’ve reported you’ve been involved with have been the same. It’s not them, it’s you.
Again, I didn’t write this post to flame you, but rather to let you serve as an example of how pervasive a Blue Pill mindset is, and how it retards a man’s social intelligence and his maturation.
@ Mitch A lot of what the red pill is and what’s being discussed on here are women’s observable and largely predictable behaviours. AWALT is on a spectrum like autism and so you will find women who are ultra hypergamous, ultra solipsistic, ultra promiscuous etc right down to women who may just have a low level of just one of these “qualities” but yes to a degree AWALT or they wouldn’t be women. Due to Internet interconnectivity for just the past couple of decades men have been able to share their combined experiences and observations of the “fairer sex” without… Read more »
“Mitch should do what he wants and then deal with the consequences. That’s what men do.”
Life for men is hard. It’s harder if you do stupid shit.
I don’t know why everyone is freaking out at Mitch. Dude went from obvious oneitis to accepting reality in like 48 hours. That’s good progress if you ask me. Give his brain some time to adjust to his new reality.
Like if your brain was a small pond with rocks at the bottom representing truths, we just dropped a big rock in the pond. There’s a big splash, and waves, and shit, but in time everything calms down again but this time that rock is still at the bottom of the pond.
@Andy: going from oneitis to claiming the chic is bpd is not good progress mate.
Reality hasn’t hit him yet…but that anvil of truth is about to drop…soon!😆
Auvergnat October 14, 2016 at 6:36 am @Rollo (or anyone) Is there a post specifically on the topic of when your girlfriend “goes silent on you / stop wanting sex / seems to not be into it anymore”, The medium is the message. Advice, what you’re going through, what you should face facts about, aaaaannd the title of Rollo’s post about it. I believe that’s the title. Should be able to type that into the search box. cheupez October 14, 2016 at 3:58 am Taf Lyf: cool track. very cool track! Rollo: Thanks! I don’t know if you got some… Read more »
@Palmasailor “I see what everyone is trying to do here and it’s admirable; but my priority is my son who is 13 and constantly bombarded by BP messages from an entirely biased system.” Rollo wrote about red pill parenting in his essays The Red Pill Parent https://therationalmale.com/2015/09/28/the-red-pill-parent/ RED PILL PARENTING – PART I (And Part II) https://therationalmale.com/2015/10/07/red-pill-parenting-part-i/ One thing I found useful for having a father’s perspective to parent a boy in a feminine soaked imperative world was Jack Donovan’s “The Way of Men” book. It can give a father understanding and tools to redirect masculine tactical virtues (including surrogate… Read more »
@All – Guys, this post isn’t here to help Mitch, he’s beyond help. As Rollo says, unplugging men is messy business. It’s also true that many men cannot internalize The Red Pill – under any circumstances. Most men, in fact. The world needs Betas and it takes tremendous strength to buck the social conditioning. And when you are older, as I am and Mitch, it’s damn near impossible. You can acknowledge the truths but not rewire you basic worldview and identity. Ditto wrt all of Game. So fuck him. Not because he’s a Blue Pill Betazoid, but because he’s a… Read more »
Was wondering after these last couple of bleats if Mitch might be a troll, if not one of those persistent one-note-samba posters desperately in need of a $5 contribution with which to buy a clue. Certainly he who is not to be named Hunter S. is a shit-stirrer visiting from a Smith College Poli-Sci grad school safe space or some such, trying to derail the meta-discussion. No he’s not me, and I didn’t send him here. He’s what we on the central committee call “useful idiots”. I’m with Scrib on responding to the electoral pearl-clutching (sit back and watch, eat… Read more »
but the most obvious tell here is the use of the phrase “The One”. There are so many things here, and I’ve got to go work. But here is a simple example. My use of the phrase “the One”, by putting it in scare quotes was meant to be ironic. That’s what scare quotes are for. I think most of you know that, but that’s not what you want to see, so you don’t. I even explicitly laid it out in the next clause by saying she’s not the one in any sort of mystical sense, she’s only “the One”… Read more »
I’m starting to join the “Mitch is a troll” camp. If he read all of year one, it must have been only to weave a story where he intentionally kicks over every hornets nest described in it.
Apology – I got pretty rancorous again recently and it was unnecessary and unproductive. My anxiety level has blown through the roof as I work on changing and taking my life more seriously, and I continue to cycle through ups and downs, and when i’m down and very anxious, I just get so fucking angry. My PTSD seems to be worsening recently…I bet you SFJ saw it a mile off, fuck, I hate being the last to see my own pathology. I’ve told my long story here many times, so i won’t do so again today. But for those of… Read more »
Mitch – You came to this blog for a reason. You are continuing to participate here for a reason. That reason CANNOT be because you were or are 100% comfortable and confident with your perceptions and hopes. If you were you would not have sought this blog out or continued to participate. Listen to that side of your mind that urged you to come here and continues to prompt you to review the reactions to your comments. There is a reason why it is important enough to you that you are motivated to continue. Most of what is expressed here… Read more »
Let me just add….that my pointing this out does not invalidate – at least in mind – the general principles underlying RP theory. The theory is useful because it provides an actionable set of guidelines that help guys navigate this brave new world of gender dynamics. You believe it because it works. I have seen it work. I believe it. And yet theory and real life are not the same thing. It’s important to make sure that you are not distorting your perceptions about what you see in order to make it square with your theory. Because that’s all it… Read more »
@Mitch; Sooooo….the ‘theoretical construct’ works, in real life, but somehow isn’t valid?
You believe in it but you don’t believe in it too?😮
Sorry, I haven’t been able to digest and process most of your responses yet. But I am interested in them and I will.
Trying to fuck with reality guarantees misfortune, accepting it guarantees opportunity.
Many on this site have never witnessed true arousal from a woman so they can never swallow the pill whole.
Frankly if you aren’t able to get an American woman to play with herself after a first meet over the phone then she isn’t aroused by you.
After you first meet a woman she puts you in a box. Either the guy she could fuck or the guy she could extract resources from. Game is influencing her into putting you in the fuck category.
Scribblerg So, Sentient and Mitch, I’m sorry for being so unnecessarily vicious. To me? I really hadn’t noticed. My new approach is to simplify, to take life a day at a time, to keep myself from focusing on my grand plans and strategies too much and rather settle into accepting myself and the world as it is. Peace via the Platinum Rule! It is so beautiful, i wish I discovered it at 17… I bet your Ukrainian whore is banging her alpha dude right now. Here is the thing for the Mitchs and Hanks of the world… you discover via… Read more »
@palmasailor, I’ve dedicated a huge portion of my upcoming third book to address Red Pill parenting and mentoring.
Ok, this is addictive. So for example when a guy uses the phrase “the One”, even in scare quotes, and even with a qualifying clause after it, and your alarm bells start ringing. It would probably be more helpful to say, hey guy, my alarm bells are ringing here, are you sure you aren’t doing x, because this is what I’m seeing from where I stand? This is why I’m seeing it, etc etc. Tell your story, and the guy is much more likely to be receptive to what you’re saying, much more likely to be able to be honest… Read more »
@Sentient – On the political stuff i went way over the top. Knew it didn’t rent space in your head, but it was renting space in mine. Ya, Platinum Rule but fuck, i’m navigating a minefield to get there. Truthfully went into a tailspin and seriously thought about offing myself, just completely lost my shit.
Sigh…Back on the horse. Nothing else to do but that.
@Elite – True that. It may be that I know what female attraction is, more than anything else, which made TRP land for me. Like I know that women have two tracks but couldn’t put words to it. Being both beta selected and alpha selected at times – most of the alpha selection came when i was a hard partying badboy after my divorce, like i was their dirty little secret – I know TRP is true.
@mitch I don’t know what a purple piller is, but If that’s the definition, it’s certainly not me. and I quote myself: “TBP, TPP, and TRP all feature men who still struggle with one fundamental problem: intellectual honesty when evaluating themselves. Pretty much in that order too.” The case against your self-assessment is laid out in the OP. Here are some of the most damning highlights: “I’d like to encourage men who still want a good wife to look East. As in, Russia, Ukraine and other former USSR counties. I cannot begin to tell you how encouraged and revitalized I… Read more »
@palmasailor, likely my next talk will be in Orlando in July 2017, stay tuned
@Mitch: “I cannot begin to tell you how encouraged and revitalized I am by this woman I met – and by most of the women I met . . .” Redacting “the One” from the sentence doesn’t improve matters much. “These women are genuine, direct, and have no time for games . . .” Nor does this. Of course they have no time for games. They have to cash in in hurry. This 44 year old single mother was 18 when the Soviet Union fell. She was raised and educated entirely within the Soviet system and didn’t have a traditionalist… Read more »
Fred The fundamental point is how widespread is this ennui, the sense that nothing matters anymore so why not fuck shit up? Tell a generation of men from all sides and in all media that they’re useless, worthless and don’t matter, this kind of thinking – “fuck shit up” – can find purchase. It’s amazing how many people here in the US have ZERO idea that the great American hero Teddy Roosevelt split the GOP and as a Bull Moose populist “Progressive” proto National Socialist pulled more votes than Taft in 1912… a real revolutionary platform. we just remember his… Read more »
Culum / Scray
Hahaha. If you would have worn that SC1 stuff on your sleeve and just made an effort to hang out at least 3-4 days a week….and never gave up or hid that identity…you wouldn’t even be here right now. You’d just be someone else’s story about ‘bro, I’ve even seen dudes who are the biggest video game nerds slay pussy!’
Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic = alpha. regardless of the field.
Truthfully went into a tailspin and seriously thought about offing myself, just completely lost my shit.
damn Scribbs… sounds like time for a “massage” followed by some egoless game playing in the city…
LOL 2006 cartoon foretelling the rise of a Trumpian figure… 2006…
welcome Back to the Future or as Ecclesiastes wrote “there is nothing new under the sun” which includes our predisposition to continue to relive history without lessons learned.
@Mitch – “Ok, this is addictive. So for example when a guy uses the phrase “the One”, even in scare quotes, and even with a qualifying clause after it, and your alarm bells start ringing. It would probably be more helpful to say, hey guy, my alarm bells are ringing here, are you sure you aren’t doing x, because this is what I’m seeing from where I stand? This is why I’m seeing it, etc etc. Tell your story, and the guy is much more likely to be receptive to what you’re saying, much more likely to be able to… Read more »
As Goethe appended, “The trick is to think of it again.”
I am not in any way “settling” for a 44 yo woman.
Bwahahahaha! What is the POINT of a Ukrainian internet bride if she’s not 18??? You can get a post-wall former carousel rider in need of a provider in the USA plenty easy.
Doomed, my man, doomed.
@Mitch, why did you tell this woman you ‘love’ her?
By your own admission you’ve spent at tops one week with her in person and all of the rest of your interactions have been digital. Yet you tell her you love her and you’re ready foot the bill to fly her to Italy and pay for the entire trip when you’ve never had any intimacy with her.
Other than Blue Pill desperation, tell me what you think the Red Pill men in this forum aren’t understanding about all of that?
You are not your mind.
Hello everyone. First, thank you is in order. I’ve really turned my marriage around thanks to the manosphere, and TRM in particular. The medium is the message. Looking for advice on one issue. When my wife feels powerless, she gets physical. I’ve warned her about it, remind her to back off, but she, of course, is too emotional to stop herself from grabbing me. I get it. The medium is the message. I’d like to think this is growing pains moving us from purple to RP. She verbally enjoys our RP life in most ways, but when she feels frustrated… Read more »
Channeling Sentient …if she ever does slap you or hit you, calmly grab your keys and tell her you’re going to a bar.”
And speaking of going to a bar, and thinking back at @YaReally comment about Halloween, it’s not to early this weekend to ask the young ladies, “So have you put any thought into what you’ll be for Halloween yet?”
And predictably the Purple Pill subred gets lost in semantics to avoid having to consider the larger implications of what Mitch’s story represents.
Nice. Your advice is right. I’ve used the bar as a effective dread-inducing shit pass before. She fears me out on the town. I leave my phone at home.
All – especially Culum
check out this thread over at Sedfast. Really great discussion going on with a lot of very technical and unemotional PU info. The Thin Man, Pure Evil, Blackdragon himself… Very interesting stuff. Thread is styled as over 33 women but it has very wide applicability as to logistics, day 1 day 2 scenarios etc.
Have you tried upping the dominace during these episodes? Fucking the shit out of her in the moment? Spanking her? Obviously she is highly aroused when she is doing this. Sounds like a candidate for dominance/submission games if you have it in you.
If she is just being a bitch then yes as Newly says leave and don’t come back for a while. But i would explore the other angle first…
@Sentient — TR on a moose. Golden.
@EhIntellect I’ve really turned my marriage around thanks to the manosphere, and TRM in particular. The medium is the message. Looking for advice on one issue. When my wife feels powerless, she gets physical. you’ve gone from her BB security option to something ‘not secured’… she doesn’t know what to do with that…lol… bc none of this shit is at a conscious level for most people… and especially for girls…lol what it seems like is that she doesn’t have a path to daylight… bc YOU haven’t told her what you expect from her or what she has to do to… Read more »
@scribblerg: Like strength and courage, piety (reverence) is manly (virtue). I don’t think anyone is worried you’re going to morph into a churchian the day after tomorrow.
I said in an earlier comment that you guys do not want me to go there regarding denial. I’ve decided to throw down the gauntlet because denial is the largest piece of this. Fair warning: If you keep reading me, and you are a man who is honest with yourself, and I know all of you believe you are, and I believe that most of you are. Then I guarantee that I will deprogram your ass right out of Red Pill Awareness. Guaranteed, and it won’t take nearly as long as it took you to get in. If you want… Read more »
“Fair warning: If you keep reading me, and you are a man who is honest with yourself, and I know all of you believe you are, and I believe that most of you are.”
Here we go
“Because where you are now is far, far more comfortable than where you will be when I get done with you. And you know this”
Sounds like a episode of to catch a predator
Am I on Candid Scientology?
Laugh while you still can. Because you won’t be laughing for very long if you keep reading me, and honestly engage what I am saying. The glass house you have constructed for yourselves is going to be shattered into a million little pieces. All at once. And it will suck.
De-programming from the matrix is dirty work, but it needs to be done.
circularrationalmale.com (not info) Not yet up, but will be.
Yes, unplugging men from the matrix is dirty work. Some will resist and flail mightily.
Some will set up a blog and try to suck men back into the matrix. Get the toothpaste back into the tube, so to speak.
Are we having an exorcism?
It’s all part of “the mystery.”
@kfg: “It’s all part of “the mystery.”
@EhIntellect I had the same problem early in my 23 year long marriage. It did not stop until I directly and firmly told her to stop it and NEVER do it again. The verbal instruction was a safe legal substitute for the natural inclination to correct her physically. You must do it very firmly, directly with the complete knowledge that you mean it and you know you do not have to justify it or explain why. It is not negotiable. Make it very simple and very direct. You are not asking. It is a direct order givin with full knowledge… Read more »
Women seem to be very binary concerning domination. Grabbing is an act of domination or an attempt to establish domination. They Are wired in such a way that mutual recriprication is not a possibility. The female perception of relationships is dominate or be dominated. Most I think prefer to be dominated, not abused, but dominated, there is a difference. Even powerful successful women strongly prefer to have relationships with men who they respect and consider to be in charge, even if that is nothing more than the man is in charge of himself. So, they are constantly testing to see… Read more »
Are we having an exorcism?
Yes, something like that.
“Laugh while you still can. ”
You won ……life…. i cant deal
Kfg. Candid Scientology… Lol and an L…
Mitch – what the fuck are you thinking? The rage of the the white knight descends… His maiden shall be avenged!
Well in a few years you will look back and laugh at this stuff…
And are we moving on from the Grief stage of Denial to Anger?
Mitch, did you change any of your beliefs about your sexual strategy after starting to read manosphere blogs (including red pill) or other writings and before commenting here?
Have you changed your beliefs after starting to comment here and getting feedback on your comments?
Mitch – correction. I was wrong. My apologies.
Descent of the Gamma White Knight is more accurate.
If Mitch had a ball(s) he would take it home… Stamp!
I like how you handled this post Rollo. I have a lot of experience with dating Eastern European Women and setting up western men with Eastern European Women. In most cases you have about a 50 / 50 chance of landing a good wholesome lass who will be all that a Blue Pill dude wants. And this 50 percent “good wife” statistic may be skewed a bit by those Eastern Women being good wives realizing that their meal ticket Alpha can certainly go back to the Ukrainian bin she came from and replace her. It’s these guys who fall hard… Read more »
Mitch, I look forward to reading your new blog. I hope you marry your Ukrainian Princess (the old, poor, single mother) who you got to know so completely after only one week, who is so hot for you she can’t keep her panties on, who is so NAWALT. I hope you document your experiences with her and prove to us how full of shit RP theory is.
Yeah, that’ll fuckin’ learn us.
@ Not born: Oh but we can…..and we do….because you gave us sooo much much more information than just “the one”. It is too late to backpedal or hide behind that. You have shared your disease with all here by displaying all of its symptoms and don’t forget, you are sharing it with many here who have survived it and been cured. This is a good place a place as any to start. I’m not hiding behind anything. I will be the first to admit that I don’t have my life, my relationships with women, figured out. That I have… Read more »
you are not a man of Faith, it is quite a bit easier to unwittingly subscribe to the idea that there is actually something to figure out.
Actually, no, that’s not true at all in a general sense. I was totally thinking in the context of TRM in writing that sentence. In that context it is probably true.
Don’t worry, I will definitely do that.
I can’t speak for anyone else here, Mitch, but I certainly haven’t “figured it all out”. The only thing that I have figured out for certain is that women say one thing, mean another, and do yet something else. And that society, including organised religion, has been pissing on my leg and telling me it’s raining. Being exposed to the Red Pill hasn’t meant that I have snapped my fingers and miraculously fixed up my fucked up marriage. What it has done, and what I find extremely useful, is made me look at many things with a more critical, suspicious… Read more »
I have never said, and do not think, that RP theory is bullshit. Totally to the contrary. I have said that is is a theoretical construct that is helping men make sense of contemporary gender dynamics, and helping them navigate these completely unprecedented waters. Which is excellent. But it is not Reality Itself. This is the difference.
Long time reader, first time poster here (45m). I want to tell all of you this: THANK YOU GUYS! Reading the “mitch story” just reminded me how much i learned here – from rollo (thanks man!), but also from all of you in the comments. And it reminds me how difficult it was for me to unplug from the matrix, it is a long and sometimes painful journey. It took me years. And i still not where i want to be. But i think its worth it. So again: the comment section here is actually the most helpful comment section… Read more »
@mineter: The only thing that I have figured out for certain is that women say one thing, mean another, and do yet something else. You have found what you believe is The Answer to something that has caused you a lot of pain and confusion in your past. It’s the “for certain” part that’s Totalist. You’re talking about 50 % of the human race that you know something “for certain” about. The only thing I know “for certain” about all females is that they have ovaries and vaginas. What it has done, and what I find extremely useful, is made… Read more »
“At the same time, I realize that my quixotic quest is futile. I will never figure it all out, and, as a man of Faith, I don’t believe I’m meant to. If you are not a man of Faith, it is quite a bit easier to unwittingly subscribe to the idea that there is actually something to figure out. In this day and age, where God is Dead, it is easy to be seduced by rationality. But rationality is only one of our faculties. It is key, to be sure, but we have other, perhaps more important faculties. What is… Read more »
@ matt: And it is way easier to see the flaws in someone else´s believe system, than to see it in your own. I’m a Catholic, a bad Catholic, I’ve said. Catholicism is a Totalist system. To the uninitiated, from the outside, Catholicism looks like a bunch of mystical mumbo jumbo. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not just random luck that the Catholic Church is by far the largest and oldest and far reaching institution the world has ever seen. There is an incredibly vast and elaborate, logically coherent and internally consistent intellectual superstructure that comprises the… Read more »
You just made up out of thin air that RP awareness is a totalist thought system.
I am not making this up. You will see…..
I’m not trying to impress anybody. If this is not interesting for you, then just skip over me.
Response #37 to Weird Assertion of the Faith #37 is: No, rational scepticism promises uncertainty about everything, even those things that same certain. It is faith to supplies a totalitarian system of thought that provides certainty of things that are not only unknown, but unknowable. ” . . . it is not Reality Itself.” Oh. Shit! Hey guys, this piece of paper with all the squiggly lines on it isn’t actually the Earth. It’s just a model. The map isn’t the territory. Why didn’t someone mention this before? I wonder how we find out if the abstraction has any value… Read more »
“I’m not trying to impress anybody.”
That is not exactly true. At the very least you are trying to impress yourself with you. Here.
That is the gist of you saying “You will see…..”
“The only thing I know “for certain” about all females is that they have ovaries and vaginas.”
“did you guys know that the Big Bang Theory was actually first proposed by a Catholic priest?”
Did you know that my milkman is Catholic?
There is an incredibly vast and elaborate, logically coherent and internally consistent intellectual superstructure that comprises the Totalist system that is Catholicism. It would take at least a lifetime to intellectually digest it all.
Neoplatonism is what you are describing. Worshiping intellect, especially one’s own, is hardly “Totalist”.
This is all just another more elaborate buffer system stunt that Mitch is relying on so he does not have to actually follow through on his conviction to go and marry his unicorn.
He gets to be “right” by waging his fake battle here amd then gets to keep his view untarnished and blame TRM when he doesn’t marry the Russian because she moved on because of his lack of attention due to this exposition.
It’s said a life well lived is the best revenge but he isn’t jetting off to do that.
“If this is not interesting for you, then just skip over me.”
It’s one of the more fascinating things that has come along in a while. Ever since Never Take a Woman Fishing. (You are not Emily’s father, are you?).
Mitch – God, faith, etc. Whose God? Whose modus of faith? Whose morality? Our problem partially stems from our tendancy to conflate amoral with immoral. They are not the same but due to our fear of being abandoned, banished or vilified as punishment by the conventions of immorality, we assume amorality is the path to immorality. It is not. Amorality is the realistic perception of the manifest. To transcend the connundrum and truly make your own decision you must consider the nature of morality itself, “what is morality itself other than a very malleable pawn employed in the game of… Read more »
@Not Born this Morning
“God helps those who help themselves”
Benjamin Franklin. Quite a fucker in his day, I been told.
“I’m a Catholic”
And he wants to get a woman to do that with him……..Hallelujah.
Excerpt from chapter 2, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Harari: The most important things in the world exist only in our imagination How did Homo sapiens came to dominate the planet? The secret was a very peculiar characteristic of our unique Sapiens language. Our language, alone of all the animals, enables us to talk about things that do not exist at all. You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death, in monkey heaven. Only Sapiens can believe such fictions. But why is it important? After all, fiction… Read more »
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/what-makes-humans-different-fiction-and-cooperation-180953986/ By Arik Gabbai SMITHSONIAN MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2015 Yuval Noah Harari has a few unconventional theories about humankind: religion is our greatest invention, and our species itself will evolve into something new within a couple hundred years. A lecturer in history at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Harari is the author of Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, out in the U.S. in February. We traded emails about human contradiction, techno-religions, and our need to tell stories to each other and ourselves. Is there a unique trait linking all human beings? The truly unique trait of Sapiens is our ability… Read more »
@Mitch I was a christian myself up until 10 years ago. Then i became an atheist. For me it was simply a matter of truth – “is this stuff really true?” – i couldn´t stop thinking about it. And i figured out for myself: no its not. It´s all man made bullshit. If you are interested in this truth – read the books of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris – these are both IQ 150+x guys, so no, you will not easily dismiss their arguments, period. Now, i openly admit that changing your believe system to atheist comes with a… Read more »
Mitch – The oldest institution is not the Catholic Church. There are many others much older and much longer lasting. Actually the oldest is in fact the farm…. agriculture. Look more into the history of Catholicism. The word Catholic originally meant “all faiths”. It was primarily orchestrated by the Roman emperor Constantine about 300 years after Christ to control and tax a large geographical area that was inhabited by varying factions of religious and cultural groups. It has arguably been one of the most heinous and destructive institutions in history. Study the inquisition. It has been for a while and… Read more »
@SJF: I picked up Sapiens after you recommended it to another. Quite an expansive read; while I found many of the conclusions forced, it was a fine path getting to them. A belated thanks for the tip.
That just reminds me. Back in 1979 I tried to write an essay in Humanities Seminar (freshman English class with a Jewish Professor) at a Catholic University about how God’s and religions were fictions created by man, rather than all the the opposite narrative that Gods created man. I pretty much think my D+ on that essay (don’t even try that IRL if you are in Pre-Med) was due to my inept ability to actually write, that the inscrutable ideas that I was typing out on my manual type-writer. (not re-writing it 10 to 15 times probably had something to… Read more »
Nah. Mitch doesn’t have any balls…
I totally agree! “Sapiens” is probably one of the most impressive books i have every read. And i read a lot.
Everyone i recommended it also liked it. Buy it now! (no this is no affiliate link 😉
@Rollo: You bring up getting lost in semantics. Semantics is a crucial element in Totalist thinking: Other than Blue Pill desperation, tell me what you think the Red Pill men in this forum aren’t understanding about all of that? Exactly this. Another classic hallmark of Totalist thought, aside from the circular reasoning that enables a logical, coherent and internally consistent system, is the creation and use of an elaborate system of Jargon among everyone “in” the system. Blue Pill, Red Pill, Purple Pill, Matrix, White Knight, Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks, Orbiter, Hamster, Game, SMV….you get the picture. The function of… Read more »
Thanks for the book tip. I will definitely read it.
I just finished this one and it was well worth the time.
Spark by the same author, also worth reading.
So a pretty vast collection of individual men’s experiences collapses into a term called Blue Pill Desperation. Are there an elements of truth in that? Yes, probably for many, maybe even most men.
Possibly elements of truth that speak to ALL men. Every last one of them. But I don’t know, and I couldn’t possibly.
This is hope beyond hope gone amuck. Language is not a pretense of reality it is a reflection of it, symbolic of it, derived to record and communicate real events, i.e. feelings, causes, responses, physiological phenomena etc.
@sentient: This is all just another more elaborate buffer system stunt that Mitch is relying on so he does not have to actually follow through on his conviction to go and marry his unicorn. He gets to be “right” by waging his fake battle here amd then gets to keep his view untarnished and blame TRM when he doesn’t marry the Russian because she moved on because of his lack of attention due to this exposition. Sorry, bro. Great example of serious hamster shit. Rather than engage the ideas directly, turning the mirror outward by diagnosing me personally, prevents you… Read more »
SJB “…while I found many of the conclusions forced, it was a fine path getting to them” I also found the same. Combined with red pill awareness and evolutionary psychology, he pretty much explained how we got to here according to how ScribblerG explains where we ended up in politics. It’s more primitive than just politics, it has to do with evo-psych and when people move out of small tribes (~75 people), humans were not designed for that shit. I actually was able to understand and enjoy the decline (current world order) because of it. Globalism as an end strategy,… Read more »
Mitch refers to the neurolinguistic principles of autosuggestion. He’s here to give us the cure to “pessimism”. To tell us we only THINK women have an unprecedented ability to screw over unworthy men. And that only right after he just saw proof that people aren’t going to fit into a little box of HIS own design.
And he’s accusing us of doing it. I think the grey hairs call that projection.
Mitch- “So a pretty vast collection of individual men’s experiences collapses into a term called Blue Pill Desperation. Are there an elements of truth in that? Yes, probably for many, maybe even most men. Possibly elements of truth that speak to ALL men. Every last one of them. But I don’t know, and I couldn’t possibly.” But… what is it within you that makes you come here? Why the dissonance within you? You are bouncing all these considerations off this blog, but the primary consideration you struggle with is within you. You sense somthing is wrong with your situation otherwise… Read more »
I am a Totalist because, for example, when a woman speaks, I am CERTAIN that she is: a. telling the truth b. telling a lie c. saying a mixture of (a) and (b) d. saying none of (a), (b) or (c) So, a non-Totalist system of belief decrees that there would also be a fifth option? Bugger me, what could it be? The definition of Totalism appears itself to be totally Totalistic. “There are only two groups of people in the world: those that divide people into two groups and those that don’t.” For the avoidance of confusion, please note… Read more »
What is he trying to achieve here? He is trying to preserve his identity and his image of “Mitch”, he is literally trying to save his life.
While avoiding dealing with the Russian.
@Matt October 14, 2016 at 5:59 pm @all @sjb/sjf “I totally agree! “Sapiens” is probably one of the most impressive books i have every read. And i read a lot.” Heh, I resemble that remark. Sapeins was a book recommendation from an actual great author–Sebastain Junger, whose book “Tribe” is well worth the read. A great complement to Jack Donovan’s book. I am not an atheist in real life. I just define my gods in my own naturalistic style. My medical background and science knowledge precludes me from defining it like the mainstream Churchian Ideology. (a few times cited by… Read more »
@SJF, one interesting fact about Finding Darwins God, it was given to me by my father before he decayed into Alzheimer’s and dementia. My dad was a hardcore atheist his entire life, an atheist before it was cool to be one, and I took him to task on all kinds of existential arguments when I was a young adult. So here’s my old man handing me this book (I still have it) while he’s still got his wits about him and he says “Rollo, read this, it gels with pretty much everything you argue with me about”.