This week we had an interesting situation arise in the comment threads. A new(?) reader, Mitch, dropped in to recount his affair with a Ukrainian woman he’d become enamored with, emphasis mine:
I’d like to encourage men who still want a good wife to look East. As in, Russia, Ukraine and other former USSR counties. I cannot begin to tell you how encouraged and revitalized I am by this woman I met – and by most of the women I met and interacted with before I found “the One.”
Full stop. Whenever a man even casually mentions a woman as ‘the ONE‘ you know he’s still clinging to his Blue Pill, feminine-primary conditioning. This is your first signal of a man’s mindset and is a glaring Beta Tell.
Next Mitch moves on to qualify the object of his, still unmet, ONEitis:
The biggest difference between these women and western women are three things: 1) They have a strong desire to find “their Right Man”. Educated, smart, attractive women with careers find life is not meaningful without husband and family. 2) What they require from a man is reliability, respectfulness and willingness to provide for a family. They want to be treated respectfully and well, but they definitely want to be treated like a woman. 3) They have no ambivalence whatsoever about being appealing to their man.
They celebrate this about themselves, their femininity and sex appeal. These women are genuine, direct, and have no time for games and are generally not interested (but are quite aware of) western feminism. Interestingly, during Soviet times women were “emancipated” from the homes and out into the factory and collectives, and the government propaganda machine even downplayed and tried to discourage marriage. So these women really know what all this means, and since the collapse of the USSR, (which has been a mixed bag for them in many ways) they have enthusiastically embraced traditional gender and marriage relationships. In fact, my woman very explicitly told me early on that she had no interest in an egalitarian relationship – and she has been very clear about what she wants and expects from me, and I couldn’t be more delighted.
(I’ve spent a week with her in person, talk on Skype a couple times a day, am meeting her in Italy in 7 weeks, after which she comes back here, hopefully for good. Oh, and she’s gorgeous and awesome in a million different ways. Wish me luck…. )
Sounds like a Blue Pill dream come true, right? I haven’t done a case study in some time so I’m going to take Mitch’s situation here and riff on it a bit. I really think it’s good to review certain fundamentals for the sake of men who are new to my work, but also for Red Pill men to understand the Blue Pill way of thinking to better help men like Mitch to unplug.
In The Purple Pill I outlined the process by which previously Red Pill men degrade themselves back into their Blue Pill mindsets. Most do this in the same fashion as someone like Tucker Max. They renounce their Red Pill behaviors and, for the most part, make attempts to compartmentalize the harsh truths they know women would rather they didn’t know or expose to other men. Guys of this Purple Pill stripe still cling (or return to clinging) to their old Blue Pill idealism in the hopes that the goals their old conditioning taught them was still possible.
This Purple Pill man still has had some exposure to, and practice with, a Red Pill awareness. The difference is that due to some life circumstance (unplanned or “accidental” pregnancy) or some part of his Beta self he was unable to disconnect from (the soul mate myth) in his Red Pill awareness.
However, Mitch represents another type of Purple Pill man. This is the guy who’s become Red Pill aware, but believes he can make his Blue Pill idealism work in a Red Pill context from the outset of his partial unplugging. As a result, there’s a certain degree of affirmation seeking men of this stripe look for from other men in Red Pill forums. That affirmation is entirely based in the false hope that he can use Red Pill truths to achieve Blue Pill goals. Thus, he looks for affirmation in this feminine-primary idealism without realizing he’s really just asking Red Pill men for their permission to persist in his Blue Pill hope while calling it Red Pill for himself.
Mitch goes on over several comments in an effort to get this permission to define his ONEitis as a Red Pill goal by qualifying her in every Blue Pill way imaginable. Needless to say the stink of Blue Pill conditioning wasn’t hard for my forum members to identify. He insists he’s read my work well enough to be considered Red Pill aware, but his actions and attitudes with this woman tell a much different story.
When called out on this fact we get the obligatory, “Lol…you guys can go fuck yourselves..”
Lol…you guys can go fuck yourselves. I appreciate where ya’ll are coming from, though. Trying to save me from myself. And i appreciate how naive my post must sound to a bunch of hard core red pillers like yourselves. However, I am not nearly as inexperienced with women and LTR’s as ya’ll assume. I have learned a lot from red pill in general and this site in particular – it’s very insightful and helpful, and I’ve adjusted my attitude and posture toward women because of it. At the same time, though, it strikes me that many of you are taking on red pill ideas as a kind of ideology, and that’s its own kind of danger. The absolute certainty that ya’ll think you know all you need to know about me and my woman and my relationship from that very brief post is what I mean. As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman. Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then I feel sorry for you. Red pill helps me tremendously in seeing more clearly what is going on. I totally get that I am a beta provider for her, that a large part of my appeal is what I can provide, and I get that she is turned on by alpha traits. Both of these things can coexist in the same person. Understanding this and what’s behind it makes me feel less anxious and insecure about that, because I’m more clear about what to do.
Also, being a beta provider does not make me a bitch. Providing for my woman and family is a large part of what makes me a man, and I derive great satisfaction and pride in doing so.
Also, I am not in any way “settling” for a 44 yo woman. Younger women were/are available to me, but that is not what i choose.
There’s a lot more to life than fucks and bucks, but if that’s all it is for you, then this is the type of woman you will attract. In a relationship, what you get is what you are. If I can’t find a way to live with an open heart, then I don’t know what the fucking point is. But, to each his own.
I don’t get mad with responses like this. It’s really all part of men’s unplugging. I’ve said it a million times, unplugging men from the Matrix is dirty work. Understand this now if you ever hope to aid a guy in coming to the Red Pill, there will always be a lot of anger, denial and frustration that comes from the disillusionment of breaking a man’s ego-investment in a Blue Pill mindset that he’s been conditioned to for the better part of his lifetime.
I found Mitch’s story engaging because it so faithfully follows the progression of rationales Purple Pill men will use in order to hold fast to their old, comfortable mindset. Thus, you see the binary extremes of anything that contradicts those old investments:
The absolute certainty that ya’ll think you know all you need to know about me and my woman and my relationship from that very brief post is what I mean. As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman.
Here we see the attempt to cast doubt, but also a plea for confirmation of theory. He wants to believe that because there are no hard-fast conclusions of the uncomfortable aspects of the Red Pill that the possibility exists that his Blue Pill hopes may still be valid.
Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then I feel sorry for you.
Disqualification, but wrapped in the magical romantic language of Blue Pill idealism. Add a bit of pseudo-heartfelt pity for the men who wont reaffirm his idealisms.
Red pill helps me tremendously in seeing more clearly what is going on. I totally get that I am a beta provider for her, that a large part of my appeal is what I can provide, and I get that she is turned on by alpha traits. Both of these things can coexist in the same person. Understanding this and what’s behind it makes me feel less anxious and insecure about that, because I’m more clear about what to do.
Later on in the comments, Mitch tries to reassure me he’s thoroughly read my essays, but it’s obvious he hasn’t read The Myth of the Good Guy after making this comment. Most of his remaining comments are variations of this, to which he’s entirely oblivious of how apparent his Blue Pill nature is to the forum.
Feel free to read through the conversations, but they all came to a head in his most recent admission here:
Guys, thanks for sticking with me.
I sent her a text this morning that basically said I am going to fuck you in Italy. I love you, and this is what’s going down. We’ve had a number of conversations about sex before, about what didn’t happen in Odessa, etc. But I never pushed too hard. She says can we talk. So I skype her. And we go round and round about this. I’m staying calm, even sweet. But firm. The solipsism is off the charts – of course I’d seen this every time we argue, but eh, she’s a woman, what else is new? I just keep gently and firmly sticking to the topic, and she’s doing all she can to change it. Lashing out at me, saying I’m mentally ill, she thought I was different than other men, I’m trying to rape her, etc. Saying I’ve blown our relationship, she has all what I want, but I’m blowing it, good bye. On and on. Jesus Christ.
I’m now strongly suspecting bpd. These women are a fucking magnet for me. I did have interactions with very normal, genuine nice women over there – and tended to be religious – one very nice woman that I enjoyed talking to was very upfront from the beginning that she’s strong Catholic and will not have sex before marriage. I respect that completely. That didn’t even chase me off. It’s just that this other woman was so much more compelling. If she is bpd, she is the third experience I’ve had with this type. They are like catnip to me. Now that I see it, I’m definitely not going down that road with her because I’m all too aware of where it inevitably leads. Good. But, still..fuck!
Mitch, you’re not going to like what I’m about to type here for you, but just know that it’s a necessary kick in the ass and I’m in no way trying to flame you. As I mentioned in my last comment to you, you really need to read all of the links in my Year One collection.
I’m going to pick apart your latest report about this girl you ‘love’ and I think you should really give yourself some time to consider what you think has been your half-measure unplugging.
I sent her a text this morning that basically said I am going to fuck you in Italy. I love you, and this is what’s going down.We’ve had a number of conversations about sex before, about what didn’t happen in Odessa, etc. But I never pushed too hard. She says can we talk.
Two things here; first, you are using texting as a Buffer. This is what I would expect from a teenager or someone with an adolescent social skill set. Texting you ‘love’ her and convincing yourself you do after no more than a week of in-person interaction is a major, jumbotron-scale signal that you are not only Beta and Blue Pill, but also you subscribe to a scarcity mentality. This is rule one.
Secondly, you cannot negotiate genuine desire. You having conversations about how you’re going to fuck her in Italy are evidence that you really have no clue how Game works. Your pre-sex talks about having sex are again a major signal of your Blue Pill headspace:
Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.
When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fuck you will find a way to fuck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, fuck the shit out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to fuck will find a way to fuck. The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who fucked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.
Your conversations are all evidence that you buy into the ‘open communication’ Blue Pill narrative.
So I skype her. And we go round and round about this. I’m staying calm, even sweet. [Beta] But firm.[still thinking RP men will say that’s Alpha] The solipsism is off the charts – of course I’d seen this every time we argue, but eh, she’s a woman, what else is new?[attempt to confirm RP terms, and another plea for affirmation]
I just keep gently and firmly sticking to the topic, and she’s doing all she can to change it. Lashing out at me, saying I’m mentally ill, she thought I was different than other men, I’m trying to rape her, etc. Saying I’ve blown our relationship, she has all what I want, but I’m blowing it, good bye. On and on. Jesus Christ.
All this woman is doing is confirming your status as a Beta for her. Likely she thought you’d be an easy mark, but your overt insistence on preplanned, negotiated and scheduled sex has made her lose interest in you even as a Beta provider.
I’m now strongly suspecting bpd. These women are a fucking magnet for me. I did have interactions with very normal, genuine nice women over there – and tended to be religious – one very nice woman that I enjoyed talking to was very upfront from the beginning that she’s strong Catholic and will not have sex before marriage. I respect that completely.
This woman is not suffering from BPD, she’s responding how most women would when they have a man’s Beta status overtly confirmed for them. You believe these ‘types’ of women are drawn to you when in fact you have the same effect on every woman when you overtly demonstrate your lower value to them by sticking to your Beta Game while thinking it’s some how the correct, Red Pill way of dealing with women.
The only reason you believe you respect a Catholic woman is because you have no choice but to respect her because she reaffirms your Blue Pill nature, but still wont fuck you.
I’m going to invite the commenters to address Mitch’s situation in the comment thread, but I’ll start here by saying you really need to thoroughly read through my posts (or books if you prefer). You are in no way ‘woke’ to a Red Pill awareness Mitch. For as much as you believe you are, your behaviors, your mindset, all point to a guy who’s read some Red Pill ideas, but can’t disconnect from his Blue Pill hopes and attitudes.
You’re trying to force fit a Blue Pill hope into a Red Pill reality. This is why the last 3 women you’ve reported you’ve been involved with have been the same. It’s not them, it’s you.
Again, I didn’t write this post to flame you, but rather to let you serve as an example of how pervasive a Blue Pill mindset is, and how it retards a man’s social intelligence and his maturation.
He’s beyond help.
[…] Case Study – Mitch’s Purple Pill […]
Keep sprinkling a little alpha on it brothers, it’s all parlor tricks and mind games aparently. Will see another of these posts on reddit. Typed as if it’s showing wisdom of ‘AWALT is real boys, hope you learn from my experement’. instead of the obvious ego protection it is.
At least as a failure in a FR, it would have merit. I don’t think OP will have the self awareness to learn from this one either.
Like HABD said:
“…the FI is cunning and pervasive…”
Mitch I may not have been on the whole conversation. But if I where in your shoes take this all as a compliment.
LOL don’t kill me, guy got absolutely destroyed…reading mitche’s interactions were pretty cringe worthy.
It’s not common seeing purple piller’s stumble on here and just start popping off in comments. I am assuming most read through all the archives first and get more red pill aware.
This post had my dying reading through lol, I love this site.
I was once in somewhere in this video.
Now Im focusing entirely on myself.
Mitch brother journal on the things in both Rollos books with your experiences. Than journal some more.
No he’s not beyond hope, he would have stomped off instead of continuing to engage. But he kept coming back. Something was nagging at him, forcing him to come back repeatedly. If he just wanted affirmation he could have gone to Blue Pill Reddit. As the learned gentlemen here have been telling you, Tovarisch Mitch, the Red Pill is hard to swallow, many gag on it at first and some spit it out. It’s easier I think if you recognize that now you are seeing things as they ARE, not as they SHOULD BE like we all were told for… Read more »
I think men should reread ‘kill the beta’ post from time to time.
Yes, love feels great.
No, love doesn’t count – at all. It doesn’t really mean anything.
He is no purple pill; he is blue pill. The fact that he is putting his hopes on a long distance relationship with a 40+ woman tells me all I need to know. Seriously, one week together and a bunch of online interactions and he thinks that’s all it is needed? and no sex on top of that? No, no, no…There is a difference between reading about red pill and experiencing it. The same as the guy who reads about boxing and thinks he knows; even though he never entered the ring to fight or at least to do some… Read more »
It’s not them, it’s you.
Can you have a threadwinna in the OP?
Is there a need for any additional comments? So crisp, so sharp…
@Blaximus: I was very disappointed when I saw you backing Mitch up, albeit temporarily, in the last comment thread. You at least politely backtracked when he kept digging deeper and admitted he hadn’t even had sex with the One-itis, but as I recall you pitched in the support after his first post, and even his first post was Blue Pill enough to raise serious Red Flags.
I suspect you were overeager to support his intent to Marry that woman due to the ongoing debate of some OMG vs YSG(and YMG I guess, like Andy and me).
@YaReally: did you see this post on TRP? Apparently it is a reposted/updated classic, but I don’t recall seeing it when I read the top rated posts about a year ago. It is about pLTRs, apparently with several years of experience claimed by the poster.
It;s no secret that Eastern European women want to marry westerners. These women want green cards. They know how to take advantage of naive men.
I don’t think Mitch is hopeless at all. I think Mitch will have the self awareness to learn from this. He may or may not give up his blue pill mindset. He may or may not be able to. The important thing is that he become more red pill aware. The goal of married red pill men is to become more alpha and have a desire to be more alpha in mindset and self improve and keep Frame. (In other words, not everyone can have, or master, it all). Without Mitch actually having a desire for Genuine Red Pill Awareness… Read more »
@ Rollo “…he looks for affirmation in this feminine-primary idealism without realizing he’s really just asking Red Pill men for their permission to persist in his Blue Pill hope while calling it Red Pill for himself.”
Bingo!! Bingo brother bingo.
@YaReally and PUA: about Halloween (posted on previous comment thread), good point. I should try to do some sets myself. I have been thinking of DHV stories, but I’d like to get some pointers on refining them. Obviously anyone feel free to “steal this” and try it out in the field. Here is the first which you may recall as part of a previous FR. DHV story – “I fucked my dog” So I got early to a club by myself and was looking around. The only people I see are a group of many girls, all dressed in the… Read more »
I’m really glad I went TL;DR before I got to his comments. Painful. It reminds me of the couple I saw a few days ago. This blue pill potato of a dude was with this hot little Asian chick. He was talking to her like he was some font of knowledge regarding living in America. It definitely had a mail order feel to it. What is it now? She has to wait 7 years before she can gut him in family court? I hope he enjoys the ignorance is bliss phase.
The appeal of the purple pill is something you should write to us more about. It’s like living your whole life knowing a particular liquid is sweet juice (blue pill), then finding out its actually a popular slow poison (redpill awareness) but finding yourself unable to resist the pull of your herd and thus rationalizing why the poison is still some form of juice (purple pill).
Wow. That was so incredibly painful to read, I felt like I was standing right next to a guy who took a bullet to the chest… That was a brilliant, pinpoint dissection of Mitch’s condition from first to last. For me, the best sentence was this: “You believe these ‘types’ of women are drawn to you when in fact you have the same effect on every woman when you overtly demonstrate your lower value to them by sticking to your Beta Game while thinking it’s some how the correct, Red Pill way of dealing with women.” I could not put… Read more »
@Mitch – “I’ve spent a week with her in person, talk on Skype a couple times a day, am meeting her in Italy in 7 weeks, after which she comes back here, hopefully for good.” This is perhaps the most damning self revealing statement in all of Mitch’s discourse. Spending only a week with a woman and skyping a couple times a day is no testament of their viability for a real manifestation of his unicorn mirage. Especially since the mirage is viewed from across the globe, filtered by limited time intervals, technology and blue pill expectations. The limited “knowledge”… Read more »
@RMlurker: The appeal of the purple pill is something you should write to us more about. It’s like living your whole life knowing a particular liquid is sweet juice (blue pill), then finding out its actually a popular slow poison (redpill awareness) but finding yourself unable to resist the pull of your herd and thus rationalizing why the poison is still some form of juice (purple pill). +1 and well said. What is more common among middle aged men that stumble upon red pill knowledge, immediate acceptance, or prolonged resistance? Mitch is a middle aged man by his own admission.… Read more »
The genuine virgin(18-24) women who makes you wait for sex is very different from your average 5+ n modern woman. The problem is, it’s almost impossible to decipher the cons and born again virgins from the unicorns. This guy thought he had a catholic unicorn. Unfortunately, any women who is 44 is not a virgin and is thus toying with this guy. Plus, as much as we like to hate on feminists, you have revealed classic nice guy manipulative behavior which has give genuinely kind men a bad name. You couldn’t act like a real man who needs sex from… Read more »
This blog, red pill teachings and the manosphere primarily address the psychological and social aspects of sexual and social gender dynamics. The physiological biological chemical aspect of blue pill conditioning and blue pill addiction is mostly being ignored or at best is not addressed nearly as seriously as it should be. Any sex (intercourse, fellatio, or masturbation) releases very powerful neurological chemical compounds such a dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin within the brain. We are all subject to behavior reward dynamics based in our physiological, biological, chemical constitution. This subjugation existing simultaneously with psychological conditioning and social pressures is extremely powerful.… Read more »
@NBTM, Even more fascinating is the effects hormones play on portions of men’s brains when assessing sexual cues in a potential sex partner. Healthy testosterone levels literally causes men to perceive women as sexual objects; stimulating the same portions of our brains used for cognitive problem solving. However, testosterone is mitigated by oxytocin, the hormone secreted just post orgasm. While testosterone is responsible for sex drive and aggressive impulses (not to mention muscular development, deepening of voice and hair growth), oxytocin is linked to feelings of nurturing, trust, and comfort. Oxytocin is believed to be a primary influence in post-sex,… Read more »
@NBTM: I understand what Dr. Hayes is saying, but I understand rather more than that, because I am not a professional therapist. The word insanity and its meaning predate the DSM and Black’s by millennia, and English common law itself by more than a millennia. He can claim that his professional jargon is the only meaning, but he is wrong. When I say that a person is playing power politics I do not mean that his political tactic is his mass times his acceleration, even though my training informs me that that is only “true” meaning. I suppose if the… Read more »
Yes, times velocity. I know. Gimme a break. Sometimes I type faster than I think. Nasty habit. Maybe I should take up hunt and peck.
Ah! I humbly (very rare) pay up.
This is off subject…but not really. Certainly worth the read.
Hey Mitch, the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care for your unicorn 🙂
Blue Pill is easy, it requires hope but no work. Red Pill requires hard work and so it’s easy to abandon it in favour of a more passive approach.
Guys who have been taught if they play nice, behave and wait their turn they will be rewarded. That is the hardest thing to swallow for guy’s like Mitch who meet some “girl of their dreams”.
We read this and see 40+ Ukrainian girl and our Red Pill radar goes off. We know how this ends. That’s hard for a lot of guys raised in the FI to swallow.
@ IAS What I said was…. ” I’m sure you get why many here are sounding the alarms. I think they all have the best of intentions, even when exercising tough love towards you. I tend to see both sides of the argument. Here and elsewhere in the sphere there is a very strong tendency to talk ” awalt ” to extremes, as if all women are irrational users and divorce papers that will spoil everything they touch, every single time, guaranteed. I believe PUA and red pill thought are so powerful, they tend to overwhelm. Things like ” heart… Read more »
runduhustle October 13, 2016 at 1:34 pm It;s no secret that Eastern European women want to marry westerners. These women want green cards. They know how to take advantage of naive men. Hence the execution of the indignation during the skype conversation. Make him fall back in line with her plans. If he doesn’t, just find another one. All that good femininity and what ever he listed would’ve faded once she came over if he would’ve brought her over to stay. Cargo pants would’ve been her favorite in about 4-6 months. But the moment he said “…the mystery that is… Read more »
If you want to keep the women the way you fell in love with, keep her in the country you found her in. The US is toxic for such women – keep them in the environment they know with the infrastructure that created them. Do not bring them to the US – that is the course to destruction. You’re better sticking with very young women – they tend not to be corrupted as much. That is why I stick to women younger than 25 – it is purely due to priority differences in men and women – keep your priorities… Read more »
No sign of Mitch in the comments yet. Mitch, where art thou? I noticed he tried to post some pics of his love interest after I last conversed with him. That’s a bad sign – lol.
@Hunter S Thompson:
You beat Houdini and win the prize. Perhaps he gave up before the proper technology became available.
Mr. Tomassi, I’m surprised you haven’t commented on the election yet. It occurs to me (in my non-expert opinion) that there are several Red Pill issues in play. For example, I’m sure you noticed that (according to 538) Mr. Trump’s poll numbers dropped significantly after the “They let me grab their pussy” comments were made public. This was also a time of mass elite GOP defection. As at the time of writing, Mrs. Clinton apparently (as per 538) stands an 87% chance of winning the electoral college. Indeed, I would suggest that the Democrats are currently looking at The House,… Read more »
@Hunter, apparently you don’t follow me on Twitter.
Hunter S Trollson
538? Are you fucking kidding us with that shit?
This 538? That was sooooo on target with their “prediction” [wild ass guess, hopeful narrative or calculated disinformation – take your pick] of a Trump primary loss, that Cruz had THE path to win?
You know the one where the guy apologized for his bias?
Take your fearmongering BS elsewhere troll…
Or maybe you are a useful dupe who really believes this shit?
Here read this http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/elections/election_2016/white_house_watch_oct13
And I am not a believer in polls… but in watching what people aren’t saying when they are trying to say something…
” . . . at the time or writing, Mr. Trump’s popular vote has dropped to under 35% . . .” That number is actually mostly from after the release of the tape, but before the debate. Today’s telephone poll has it as Trump 43%, Clinton 41%. 84% of respondents say they have already made their final decision, and there the split is 49% Trump, 46% Clinton. The not finally decided 15% lean a few points to Clinton. This is a volatile race, and polls today may mean nothing tomorrow. And so on. Of note is that “A new Rasmussen… Read more »
let the record state. Trump said when you’re famous you can grab them by the pussy. Didn’t say that he did.
But it’s still red pill issues at play. Women and fame and women not liking full disclosure right there in one short phrase.
If anyone is interested in Trump’s speech today, here is the transcript, calling out the Establishment’s criminal enterprise… he is a de facto third party candidate now.
the story would have been sweeter had he ended up marrying the One. I hate these short stories. I prefer the long drawn novels full of drama which, eventually, do serve as a better cautionary tale and give you “catharsis” a la Aristotle’s Poetics (arousing our fear and pity).
Will he learn from it? Probably not. Will others learns from it? Maybe.
Finally found this. Off topic, but I just came across this. Applies to when girls want to tell you something too.
well, meant to leave out the dead people
Well, I have a few things to say. First, I don’t know how you (Rollo) define “new” reader. You continue to insist that I have not read your posts, though I’ve said twice that I have. Are you calling me a liar? Or are you not actually reading what I’m saying, but only seeing what reduces into your cosmology, or whatever it is. I’m just asking – because it’s one of the two. I have not read all of your essay, but I have in fact read ALL – as in every single one – of your first year essays,… Read more »
@Mitch: We have respect for each other here, even when we completely disagree…We DO NOT, however, respect bullshit. One of the articles by Rollo you should read is “Medium is The Message”… RP I praxeology…but you refuse to see what this and other women are trying to tell you. What is more telling however, is that you don’t realise how your beliefs, and ergo actions, are contributing to your luck of success…. You talk about love from a completely idealistic point of view… You claim to understand red pill thought, but clearly it isn’t manifesting in your actions or interactions… Read more »
This chick dodged a bullet….
@Mitch Bully? Shame? Mitch once you marry, that’s it. She has the legal ability to put any bluff on your part regarding your alpha nads right in the pot to boil with the lobster and eat them both for dinner. The truth is if you were doing the pitching around there, it’d have a different setup. Maybe you should take a page out of “Johnson’s” playbook, chew it up and plug the hole in your “Soulmate Experience” raft. However, if you really think you’re not to be out done by “Johnson”, you might want to look up “Domain Dependence” and… Read more »
Bully? Shame? Mitch once you marry, that’s it. She has the legal ability to put any bluff on your part regarding your alpha nads right in the pot to boil with the lobster and eat them both for dinner
What, do you think I’m fucking 12 years old? Seriously. Thanks for the advice.
Also, you totally did not get what my story about Johnson was about. Maybe read it again.
“What, do you think I’m fucking 12 years old? Seriously. Thanks for the advice.”
Don’t forget to take the advice in the second paragraph. It could be just as useful. Maybe smoke a cig while you do it for extra edge.
Uh, thanks. You really should read it again.
TRP characterizes the nature of women as “harsh” and “ugly” and to me that is still pedastalization. They aren’t angels or demons…it’s just raw sexual economics. Hate the game, not the players. TBP, TPP, and TRP all feature men who still struggle with one fundamental problem: intellectual honesty when evaluating themselves. Pretty much in that order too. A purple pill man usually is a dude who is like….20%-30% through maybe, idk, the 5-8 years I’d say it takes to completely change yourself as a man. The first few years you see the most change because it’s mostly external surface-level stuff,… Read more »
@ Mitch, “I suspect there are a gazillion men that could benefit from RP thinking, and it could really make a positive difference, but it will remain fairly marginal if you act like a cult. People learn in lots of different ways, but not many people will learn through shame and ridicule and peer pressure. Every persons life is a journey, and every man must find his own path. And men would do well to respect the path of other men.” Hey, glad to see you’re back (I was afraid you got on a plane). I see you got a… Read more »
“Also, you totally did not get what my story about Johnson was about. Maybe read it again.”
Sure I do. You were using your analysis of “Johnson’s” situation as proof of your “red Pill” “know-how”. Only to get this article made about you for some reason.
@scray: So this entire process is teaching you how to be you within the context of a social group —- how to keep your boundaries firm, how to advertise your specific identity competently, and how to socially protect and guard the women…. Totally down with that. A purple piller essentially is saying “idk man, I don’t want to continue on in that process…it’s just too much, I’d rather use what little about being myself I’ve learned to just….go live out a dream given to me by someone else.” I don’t know what a purple piller is, but If that’s the… Read more »
@yollo: Um, the article was about me. Or I should say ostensibly about me. It sort of created a parody of me, for the purposes of demonstrating The Truth. I wasn’t analyzing Johnson, I was telling his story as i understand it to illustrate the point that, yes, I’ve seen RP in action, but also that every man has his path and his own way of learning what he needs to learn. And other men should respect that. I certainly do not see myself as better than Johnson, and I don’t need to compare myself to him. I admire and… Read more »
Your story has too many red flags to count Mitch. Whether you can see it or not, the guys on TRM are trying to open your eyes to the fact that you are making yourself extremely vulnerable to this woman. You can’t honestly believe that citizenship, and financial support aren’t huge factors in her decisions. Also, she’s already trying to shame you over wanting to have sex when you meet up in Italy? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think somehow she’ll get really horny for you after you’re married? Lots of guys have gone down the path you’re… Read more »
However, if you post comments that are “off” you WILL get called out on them. It’s just the way everyone rolls here. You’re not gonna get a free pass and these comment threads are not a validation hug box.
I’m totally down with that, too. I think I saw HABD’s comments you’re talking about, and they were very helpful. I just have this beta thing I gotta go do on a daily basis! lol…
@Mitch Putting it simply: It’s difficult to believe your claim that (1) you have read all of the Rational Male and (2) properly understood it, when so many of the actions you described you did (3) go against just about everything Rollo ever said and (4) Rollo and just about everyone on this blog are telling you so. It’s not a matter of “cults” and “beliefs”, it’s just a basic inconsistency. Rollo wrote you a letter saying “turn right” and you describe us how you (1) read several times the letter, (2) understood it completely, and then (3) turned left.… Read more »
Been there, done that, got a woman, went totally blue pill over her, she starts making me wait for sex.
@auvergnat: Putting it simply: It’s difficult to believe your claim that (1) you have read all of the Rational Male and (2) properly understood it, when so many of the actions you described you did (3) go against just about everything Rollo ever said and (4) Rollo and just about everyone on this blog are telling you so. Dude, this is exactly the circular thinking I’m talking about. I couldn’t possibly have read or properly understood Rollo’s essays, because otherwise I wouldn’t have done the things I did, . I wouldn’t have the mindset I have because Rollo’s essays are… Read more »
@ Mitch Like I said earlier in the other comment section, your interaction with the Russian unicorn has gone exactly as nature intended. She is looking for a Man, the best Man she can get ( Alpha ) and you are a Beta bucket full of red flags that are telling her she hasn’t found him yet! You have slipped into her frame with a comfort based beta provider game and yet wonder why you haven’t fucked! She is 44 and starting to worry if she has time to find her Alpha, so she sees you as a ticket to… Read more »
@Mitch OK I’m willing to believe you know and understand red pill theory. Then I’m curious to know how you answer to the specific comments that Rollo made. He just made an entire post to analyze your own personal situation (you lucky bastard!). What do you think of his specific tips? Do you think he’s wrong? that he doesn’t understand your situation clearly? For example, about you texting her that you love her, he has this to say: Texting you ‘love’ her and convincing yourself you do after no more than a week of in-person interaction is a major, jumbotron-scale… Read more »
@Blaximus: I give you props for having going against the consensus. Your Frame is very solid. Mitch’s position regarding his intent to marry that woman had been universally panned EVEN BY OMGs. @Sentient for sure and @KFG even mentioned that to Mitch as Sentient is part of the OMG side of that debat: https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/07/environmental-stresses/comment-page-3/#comment-173037 I wasn’t alone in being surprise at your “condoning” Mitch. Sentient was also surprised and here is your reply to him: https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/07/environmental-stresses/comment-page-3/#comment-172983 In addition to an uncalled for swipe at YaReally at the end, includes this “Mitch is absolutely entitled to his understanding of RP, and… Read more »
@auvergnaut: If you had said you read it all and disagree with it all, then your actions would be consistent, but as it stands, your intellectual position doesn’t make sense. Black and white thinking. It is not at all odd that one might intellectually understand a concept(s), and then behave differently from what one understands about that concept. My guess is that if you really looked into it, you’d find that operating in your own life. For example, I intellectually understand (because there is a coherent, rational, even utilitarian reason) the Catholic church’s teaching about human sexuality. It doesn’t mean… Read more »
@Blaximus: here is a link to Mitch’s post that appeared before yours: https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/07/environmental-stresses/#comment-172847 (there was another one which appeared about one hour before yours, which perhaps you had also read by then, but I think the one I link is the most relevant one) I think his telling others to fuck off and in particular this part “Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage.” resonated with you and this is why I think your post: https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/07/environmental-stresses/comment-page-2/#comment-172892 was over eager in… Read more »
Meanwhile you come on here and throw a tantrum like a little girl because you didn’t get the affirmation you were looking for.
Mitch ” I want a unicorn and not just any unicorn it’s got to be pink!”.
That’s really what you see? Ok. That’s interesting…
@auvernat: What do you think of his specific tips? Do you think he’s wrong? that he doesn’t understand your situation clearly? No, I don’t think the theory is wrong, not at all. Guys telling me what they *see* is useful feedback. But it doesn’t mean that guys actually know me, or my situation, and so therefore they are in any way qualified to diagnose and analyze me. Own what you see, because what you are seeing is totally informed by your own experience – the experience in your life, and what your perceive from reading about the experiences of other… Read more »
“Knowing you or your situation”
Doesn’t change the facts of how gender dynamics operate in 2016! So your point is ?
You’re really good at policing the boundaries of orthodoxy.
@Mitch: thank you, I can see you have a good eye for talent. Is it your religious background that makes you an expert in orthodoxy?
@playdontpay: Doesn’t change the facts of how gender dynamics operate in 2016! So your point is ? Not saying that it does. But every individual person brings an individual history to any given interaction. If it works for you at this point in your life to adhere to the idea that AWALT – are like exactly that – that’s cool. I don’t mean that in a disparaging way at all. You just shouldn’t insist that other men adhere to it as well, otherwise they’re in denial, a beta bitch, or whatever else you come up with. Is it your purpose… Read more »
@Mitch: thank you, I can see you have a good eye for talent. Is it your religious background that makes you an expert in orthodoxy?
that’s entirely possible.
@Mitch OK so if I understand you right, you believe that Rollo and everyone criticizing you here don’t really understand your situation. Is that right? I just wanted to know how you think and I think I got it so I’ll leave you after requesting an answer to my last question. I’m curious to see how you justify your thinking on a specific example. For example, when you said you texted your girl that you loved her (even though you barely know her and if I understood well haven’t slept with her), Rollo commented by saying this: “Texting you ‘love’… Read more »
@Mitch: there is a great deal of quality coaching going on here. How you respond to the coaching is indicative of your motivation level.
@Sentient – I take your point re Trump and the lack of non-MSM filtered information available. Looking around me I see a few people saying “WTF what did he say that’s so terrible?” even if they wouldn’t vote for him (and the circles I hang out in, I would seriously be considered mentally deficient if I admitted to supporting Trump). Almost everyone I know assumes I’m voting for Clinton. I don’t even LIKE a lot of Trump’s policies and I concur with a lot of Blax says about him being a conman. But just the thought of voting for Clinton…no.… Read more »
@kfg, Yes, I agree that polls are a crap shoot. And to clarify, I’m not particularly stumping for either Mr. Trump or Mrs. Clinton, I’m just commenting on the (potential) phenomena. This is the one I was thinking about: http://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2016-election-forecast/ The reason I prefer it is because it breaks down the vote via the electoral college (85% v 14%), rather than the popular vote (49% v 42%). Also, as at the time of writing, it still has Utah going to Trump, so I must have been reading that from some other source (although I note that Arizona is now being… Read more »
Taf Lyf: cool track. very cool track! Rollo: Thanks! I don’t know if you got some secret place you go to learn how to put things across very clearly (please steal me in onto the secret). Very incisive thank-you-very-much. So Mitch, there you have it. If it becomes necessary to have a rational, sensible, serene, amicable conversation with a woman about how she should give up the pussy? Heheheeeee… Or even that you are having a heated discussion about it? Heheheeeee… Desire cannot be reasoned out. And when it is there, it cannot be reasoned with. It will fuck you,… Read more »
@Mitch You spent 9 month extricating yourself from a cult because of their totalist, circular-logic. Now you accuse TRM of being a cult suffering from totalist, circular logic. Plain logic dictates that you merely need to escape this new cult pronto, least you need to extricate yourself yet again. The smallest cult that exists in this world is the one-person cult. It’s the biggest battle we have to extricate ourselves from each day. Go do your thing with this Russian, learn what you will, then report back afterward. I see no reason for you to comment here prior to then.… Read more »
Mitch: “You continue to insist that I have not read your posts, though I’ve said twice that I have.” That’s not what he said. Besides, that’s not the point: even if you read his essays you certainly didn’t gain much from them. “Are you calling me a liar?” This is an adolescent remark. He did not say you were a liar. “Or are you not actually reading what I’m saying” Another adolescent remark. He is of course reading your remarks. They’re in the blog! “, but only seeing what reduces into your cosmology, or whatever it is. I’m just asking… Read more »
He will be hurting more if he ignores the lighthouse that is TRM.
Single-mother-raised, insecure, beta body language: grasping, phony, needy:
@Mitch: “I don’t know what a purple piller is, but If that’s the definition, it’s certainly not me.” Right. You did not come here to live out the dream. You came here to sell us the dream, the Cult of Ukrainian Women. Apparently in the belief that we here are looking for that particular pink unicorn that you described in the pitch. A pitch Identical to the astroturf Ukrainian Bride agencies use. As if we didn’t know about that particular Cult and its workings. You cannot possibly have read Year One, understood it on even a theoretical basis, and have… Read more »
“But you really can not presume that you *know* what is going on with another man.”
“You just don’t understand,” said every sixteen year old girl to her mother who was once a sixteen year old girl who said “You just don’t understand” to her mother.
@Palmasailor – I think Rollo has said that his next book will have a section on Red Pill Parenting – also there are a few posts about parenting on this blog which you may have read but are probably a good place to start (including the comments)
Good grief, guys, stop feeding the troll. Mitch is a well-versed troll, but a troll nonetheless.
“Good grief, guys, stop feeding the troll…”
Naw, we’re just wearing out his hamster.
My first time trying to post a gif from Imgur. Embed, then copy and paste. Right? Wonder what I did wrong? Oh well.
Okay, time for bed.
@Rollo (or anyone)
Is there a post specifically on the topic of when your girlfriend “goes silent on you / stop wanting sex / seems to not be into it anymore”, it means that she’s not attracted to you anymore / have found someone else and is preparing to branch swing.
I’m looking for an article I could send (anonymously) to friends when they say their partner “is acting weird these days” and the only advice they get from people is “you need to sit down and talk”.
“Validation hug box.” That’s hilarious and I’m going to use that in conversation from now on. Seriously, I don’t mean to dog-pile on Mitch, but the most obvious tell here is the use of the phrase “The One”. That’s ground level, Page One Rollo Tomassi. If you don’t get that concept, then you just don’t get anything else. “But…but…but…” won’t work. If you don’t understand the essential fallacy of the Disney-fied soul mate myth, and how that has been instilled in men from day one, you won’t see how that works against you and locks you into a gender-neutral Nice… Read more »
It’s y’all, not ya’ll.
It’s better to ask for forgiveness, then beg for permission. Mitch should do what he wants and then deal with the consequences. That’s what men do.