Your Mission, Her Mission

Does your woman think of you before herself? 

Does she make your priorities her own priorities?

Does she surprise you with acts of kindness and appreciation?

Does she inherently know that your success is her success?

Does she admire you? How does she show it?

Does she know what you need before you know it yourself?

Does she plan ahead to ensure you’re taken care of?

Does she care to know who, not just what you are?

Does she take time to learn about or participate in the things you are passionate about?

Does she look forward to having sex with you?

Does pleasing you please her?

Does she do any of these things with genuine desire or is she fearful of your displeasure?

Or

Is your woman ‘high maintenance’?

Is pleasing her or avoiding her discomfort your mission in the relationship?

Is your relationship defined by how well you measure up to her expectations?

Is your woman’s success more important than your own?

Are you the sentimental one in the relationship?

Do you plan ahead to ensure she’ll be in the right mood?

Do you perform chores in the hopes that it will make her amenable to you sexually?

Do you believe your relationship is (or should ideally be) an equitable one?

Does her family take priority over your own at holidays?

Is your relationship based on quid pro quo?

Is she ever surprised by your anger?

Is your relationship perpetually a “work in progress”?

Is your relationship’s success defined by qualifying to her metrics?

Do you measure the quality of your relationship by how well you meet her needs?

These are tough questions for most guys. I’m often asked how to vet a woman for a relationship or marriage and the hard part of coming up with a list of qualifications is that you have to actually be in a relationship with that person to really judge a woman’s suitability for a long term commitment. Hot sex is a great ‘up-sell’ for women to convince a man to commit, and it’s usually at the top of a guy’s list of must-haves for his commitment, but you don’t really understand her motivations or genuine desire until you are already in a relationship. Now you have emotional investment in her (caught feelings) at the same time you’re realizing she’s really not the person you thought you were vetting her for.

The ‘Asshole Alpha’

A hard thing for most Blue Pill, Beta men to appreciate is the genuine desire a woman has for an Alpha man. When that guy sees a relationship that’s based on a woman’s dedication to please her Alpha man, his Beta Hamster goes into action. A lot of things don’t line up with what he’s been conditioned to believe about women and how a relationship should go.

His first presumption is that the Alpha guy is a ‘manipulative asshole’ and if he ‘respected’ her she would be better off for it. It’s certainly not how he would treat her. Default respect for women plays well for a Blue Pill mindset. If you read through my first set of questions above the most common impression a feminized mind will have is that I’m implying a woman ought to be beholden to an Alpha man. While it’s true that, ideally, a solid conventional relationship is founded on a man’s ambition and success, and his woman sharing that mission, she has to want to be a part of it. Forcing a woman to be a part of a man’s world is actually the methodology of a Beta man.

Monogamy can occur either because a female chooses to be faithful to a male, or as a consequence of a particular lifestyle.

Promiscuity, Tim Birkhead

Exploring the Desire Dynamic has been a key feature in all of my writing. Understanding that genuine desire cannot be negotiated is usually one of the toughest parts of the Red Pill to accept when a guy is just coming into it. It’s hard because most men already realize the principle; they’ve just been building lives around the contingencies, and forming deep rationales, to avoid accepting it. I have readers tell me all the time that what I put forth in my books and essays is stuff ‘they already knew in the back of their heads‘, they just didn’t have the words to articulate it. Your relationship sucks, or your marriage is soul-destroying not because you can’t seem to live up to a false ideal (which is true), but because your woman has no genuine desire to be a part of your world. Modern marriages fail, not because of trust issues, or security, or even ‘her needs not being met’ – they fail due to a lack of genuine desire.

Most women today are in monogamous relationships as a consequence of a particular lifestyle.

Blue Pill men have a hard time with this as well. A relationship based on a woman’s choice to be faithful to a man, based on her genuine desire, looks a lot like what he’s been taught a lopsided manipulative relationship is all about. The prime-directive of feminism (the female Blue Pill) is that a Strong Independent Woman® should “never do anything for the express purpose of pleasing a man.” Part of a Blue Pill man’s lifelong conditioning is to think like a feminist woman thinks.

Most Blue Pill men are male feminists by default. Whether they vocally identify as one is largely a formality; Blue Pill men think like feminist women, because their social education came from feminist women.

When a Blue Pill male encounters the rare conventional relationship – one based on a woman’s genuine desire and a man’s Frame and ambitions – and he sees a woman doing things for the express pleasure of an Alpha man, his first impression is that she is with him by coercion. That conventional relationship model doesn’t fit with what his female teachers taught him was the egalitarian ideal. Thus, rationalizing that a beautiful woman would only feel obligated to please an asshole is because she has low self-esteem, she’s forced to please him because she’s destitute, she’s codependent, he overtly uses Dread on her, etc. This becomes his ego defense of his Blue Pill conditioning. His default presumption is that she is with that guy as a consequence of a particular lifestyle. It never enters his thought process that she is with that Alpha by choice.

Objects of Desire

Most men are uncomfortable with being the object of genuine desire. Even the idea of having a woman do something inspired for his express pleasure makes them feel like they’re falling into the role of Asshole Alpha. Promise Keepers in particular hate this impression of themselves and will go to great efforts to quash it in themselves, by deriding it in other men.

If you read the first list of questions above and thought, “Damn, that sounds harsh or manipulative. What about her needs?” this is your Blue Pill training coming to the surface of your consciousness. Just the thought that, as a man, you might ever be truly desired by a woman gets conflated with ‘abuser’ status. Either that, or the first consideration is to default to Bank Slate thinking – “What about her?” This is the egalitarian, presumption of ‘equal-and-opposite’ as the ideal thinking. 

Most Blue Pill conditioned men, and virtually every Fempowered woman, defaults to “What about her?” as their Mental Point of Origin. Guys do this because it’s been hammered into their brains since grammar school that ‘putting women first’ is the surest way to gaining their intimate favor. As such, the idea that they might ever ‘come first’ with a woman becomes an alien thought to them. Not only that, but they see the hypothetical Alpha I mentioned above as the villain to defeat in order to prove his quality. That ‘quality’ is based on his ‘putting women first’, so an Alpha Asshole becomes a golden opportunity to display how well he’s learned his Blue Pill lessons from his female teachers.

Without the Red Pill, without the insight to question his conditioned belief-set, this mindset is impossible to break in a guy. For the most part he’s attached his Game – his hope of solving his reproductive problem – to that Blue Pill, Village training. Some guys may never break the cycle. They never see the code in the Matrix. Most men fall into a grind of constant qualification to women because they have never, and will never, be the object of genuine desire of a woman. Their mental models prevent them from ever being that object to a woman. They would feel awkward, dirty, for making anything about them.

When a man’s Burden of Performance can be directed towards qualifying himself to women, men will begin to conflate their masculine identities with how well they can ‘put her first’.

The religious Trad-Con mindset revels in this, but the ideal comes from the same source – feminine primacy. Directionless, purposeless, men find a purpose in making the pleasing of a “quality woman” ideal the metric by which they measure their manhood. The Feminine Imperative figured out how to make women’s security the measure of a man long ago. It was written into men’s sense of duty and his Gods’ will. They must become less so she becomes more. It didn’t always used to be that way, but since the advent of romantic love as an ideal, it’s been the game men were told they had to play. And now, men’s natural competitiveness is channeled to outperforming his rivals in how better he can serve the Feminine Imperative.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest.

16 Commandments of Poon, Roissy

I can make appeals to men to make themselves their Mental Point of Origin, but few actually wrap their heads around the concept. Fewer still will give themselves permission to do so. The reason for their difficulty is that their reproductive success was pinned to the Blue Pill mindset they’d had beaten into their psyches a long time ago.

The equal partnership ideal is antithetical to how men and women evolved to be complements to the other. That ‘equal’ partnership is predicated on a man endlessly proving his dedication to ‘putting her first’ that his hindbrain believes will lead to a woman’s genuine desire for him. His hope, his understanding, is that if he works at his relationship long enough, if he puts her first, eventually she will appreciate him and desire him based on his efforts and performance. But it is just this priority in his life – the priority he’s linked to what little sense he allows himself to have of his manhood – that defeats his ever getting to that state of a woman’s genuine inspired desire.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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scribblerg
scribblerg
2 months ago

Another great essay, as was the last. Sadly, Rollo, no matter how many times you say it, too many men have an adaptive strategy to use “Alpha” men as social wedges to bolster themselves. It’s not that they really care about the thot who is whinging about some guy, it’s that they feel threatened immediately and know they can’t compete so they focus on undermining the other guy. Me? I tell girls when they start whining about how some guy treated them awfully that I’m the wrong guy to tell that story too cuz I’m sure plenty of girls have… Read more »

RedPillMarried
RedPillMarried
2 months ago

I’m impressed by this, as usual, Senor Rollo. I think I can sum up what I got from it very simply. A man needs to discard the teachings of the feminist imperative and realize that what is best for him IS what is best for his woman. Aaaaaand… if a woman inherently knows and realizes what is best for him is best for her, in comes the attraction and arousal, thereby negating the need for the already declared useless negotiation of desire. Bout right?

IAS
IAS
2 months ago

@Rollo: just the “bullet points” at the start are great. The rest of the post is just value added on top.

That list is a seriously good diagnostic tool. This is one of your best post this year.

Geo
Geo
2 months ago

Roger that scribblerg. Ergo the Grey Pill?! Carry on, stud.

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

Change caption to “Me trying to provide on my call center Team Leader salary” for broader application…

anythinggoes75
anythinggoes75
2 months ago

Post-nut clarity is the closest some men will ever get to being red-pilled. It’s a damn shame they can’t read or have an open mind that they might not know everything already. A lot of men are just too proud and too ashamed to get to the bottom of their reoccurring relationship problems and search for answers.

Chris Clayton
Chris Clayton
2 months ago

I hate to read but I had to read parts of this essay twice. It’s outstanding! As a young boy, I asked my mother how to get a gf. She said treat her special, support her, she knows best, buy her things. My dad was a momma’s boy. (Useless then)Women would date me and dump me. I got with a single mother, married her, she cheated, I forgave her twice until the third guy knocked her up. I later learned there was other affairs. I knew something wasn’t correct in my approach so I came across Corey Wayne. His info… Read more »

constrainedlocus
2 months ago

@scribblerg “The new generation of women see themselves much more as men see themselves. The idea of deferring to a man just doesn’t occur to them. While the back of the brain still responds to alpha mating stimulus, they just ride it and use it to cum hard – not to run their lives. In this way they are the same as me. I see our limbic brain driven sexuality as a fun ride at the amusement park, not as a way to live my life.” Your comment really resonated with me and with what I’m observing as well. For… Read more »

IAS
IAS
2 months ago

@Constrainedlocus: the ones that are 30+ now, or 40+ now (post-wall), a significant portion of which ARE indeed miserable (I think you are not disputing that), were indeed having fun when they were under 30 (pre-wall). I.e. pretty much as the current crop of pre-wall girls are. The sociological change may have been sudden, but not that sudden. Pre-wall girls in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, and 10s in the West were already behaving in much the same way as the current crop of pre-wall girls, so it is not at all unreasonable to extrapolate that this current crop will… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Schadenfreude

+100

theasdgamer
2 months ago

This list made me think…

Mrs. Gamer is ultra low maintenance and it has always been that way. And I would say that there’s a quid pro quo…I do one nice thing for Mrs. Gamer and she does three for me…and Mrs. Gamer is happy…

…our arguments are usually because she’s trying to be helpful and she isn’t…or she asks me a question and doesn’t wait for the answer but moves on to something else…

…and why is it “your woman” instead of “your women”?

MrRJames
MrRJames
2 months ago

I met my gf working in her home city. Ive got tired of her city and ive decided to move back to my city. I told her she can stay but im leaving with or without her

She is leaving all her friends, family and even her house she bought to come and join me. I made myself my point of origin and her interest in me now boarders on obsession.

GS
GS
2 months ago

You’re back in form Rollo, this is one of your finest essays yet.

Brazilian reader
Brazilian reader
2 months ago

What an awesome essay !! True content here

ex-cartoonist
2 months ago

Reading the two lists, I realise that I’ve experienced both. In my younger years—and in the second half of my marriage—I was making the woman’s wants the centre of my life, and in the first half of my marriage and with my later women, I was my own point of origin. And while being the ‘object of desire’ is definitely better than being the beta simp, it’s certainly no recipe for happiness. Deep down, I could always feel that the woman was being good to me, even having sex with me, because I was giving her what she wanted. I… Read more »

redpillrabbi
2 months ago

Rollo: “When a man’s Burden of Performance can be directed towards qualifying himself to women, men will begin to conflate their masculine identities with how well they can ‘put her first’. The religious Trad-Con mindset revels in this, but the ideal comes from the same source – feminine primacy.” I’m religious and traditional but not “Trad-Con”. I don’t know what goes on in modern churches but it doesn’t sound promising for the men. In old time religion (and practically all human societies historically) the flow of spiritual authority was always God-Man-Wife-Kids. Of course women and children have their own personal… Read more »

NewGuy
NewGuy
2 months ago

More truth bombs from Rollo’s firehose of red pill knowledge. This list is a disgusting reminder of the lies we have been sold. It’s an IF-Even equation sold to us by the feminine imperative. Good example of women’s solipsistic nature and how they operate from their own mental point of origin. I see the code now after being with my wife for 30 years. I think of the old saying, “happy wife, happy life” when I read this list. Men have been programmed to serve women with hopes of “earning” her desire and approval. I see my wife pulling this… Read more »

Burt
Burt
2 months ago

Rollo, I have read your essays and bought your three books – and while I agree with most, there is one detail that I take offense with, and that is your derison for “default respect”. I think you conflate the bland façade that most people bear as a mask in order to make life easier for all, for some evidence of milquetoast personality. You should by default respect others, because you do not know what burdens they carry, what feats they have accomplished, what terrors they have weathered – and they are not beholden to impress you with the story… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 months ago

” . . . you do not know what burdens they carry, what feats they have accomplished, what terrors they have weathered . . .”

Courtesy is not the same thing as respect and none of that has any relevance to courtesy. I would also note that reasons do not imply excuses.

kfg
kfg
2 months ago

A further note: acting with civility is not respect for the person, it is respect for the civilization.

Of course that may only matter if you’re one of the idiots that has to live in it.

Shark
Shark
2 months ago

GOD, I wish I had read, understood, and acted based upon this column back when I was finishing college.
It would have saved me twenty+ years of a hopeless marriage and half of my assets and earnings.

Young men, READ AND HEED this article, it’s the best wisdom that you’ll ever receive at no cost.

Shark
Shark
2 months ago

kfg: “A further note: acting with civility is not respect for the person, it is respect for the civilization. Of course that may only matter if you’re one of the idiots that has to live in it.” So YOU’RE the legendary one man who IS an island, who mines the ore to smelt the iron, then hammers it into shape for his axe, knife, and sword; who grows his own wheat, corn, barley, rice and oats, raises his own cattle, goats, pigs and fowl – – when he doesn’t simply hunt them, haul them home, and slaughter them; who fells… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 months ago

“So YOU’RE the legendary one man who IS an island . . .”

No. I’m the man who has repeatedly pointed out that as I like smooth, paved roads to ride bicycles on, public libraries and broadband Internet it is in my own interest to give some care to that which provides them.

Perhaps you were responding to the voices in your head, rather than to what I have written.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

😂😂

He thinks this shit is ” the real world”.

Superion
Superion
2 months ago

Another fantastic article .

Thank you Rollo!

kfg
kfg
2 months ago

The Boy Scouts of America have declared bankruptcy. The story caught my eye not over the bankruptcy, but over the fact that there is something called the Boy Scouts of America. For those who haven’t been following along, a while ago, after years of pressure from women, the BSoA decided to admit girls. There are now actually Boy Scout troops with no boys in them. Then they decided, given the above, to adopt the gender neutral name The Scouts. And were promptly sued by the Girl Scouts who claimed that the gender neutral name discriminated against girls. Go figure. Just… Read more »

5k40
5k40
2 months ago
Reply to  Burt

You’re conflating “respect” with “human dignity”. Respect is earned. It has its roots in the Latin word “respectus”, which means “look at, look back upon”, i.e. you look back on someone’s deeds and esteem them accordingly. The meaning has been diluted in the modern day to the point where it’s a synonym for “human dignity” but it shouldn’t be. “Dignity” is the quality or state of being “worthy or esteemed”, and was associated with rank – the reason we say “human dignity” is because we’re adding a qualifier – “this is the level of esteem you grant another based on… Read more »

walawala
walawala
2 months ago

The “asshole alpha” is a transition phase from Blue Pill AFC BETA to ACTUAL Alpha. Beta’s are so used to accommodating a woman’s needs that when they discover the power of “no” they go the other way being deliberately obstinate. It works like a super power. But then they go too far and backfires. “No” may spark attraction but attraction without “Comfort” doesn’t lead to seduction…..just like “Comfort” without “Attraction” kills seduction. So there’s a big difference between the “Asshole Alpha” and “Uncaring asshole”.. One thing that I find banging girls in their 20’s is that they expect me as… Read more »

NewGuy
NewGuy
2 months ago

Rollo- How much of this is innate female behavior vs a learned behavior? I’m surrounded by professional women in the workplace and the ones that seem the most productive and happy, are the ones that have a solid respect for their fathers. The correlation I see is the one’s that grew up in homes where the mother didn’t respect the father, the daughters end up mimicking the same behavior. The ones that had an old school traditional home (father as leader, mother as second in command) appear to have less issues and more respect for the masculine. The worse ones… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

@New Guy Rollo- How much of this is innate female behavior vs a learned behavior? I’m surrounded by professional women in the workplace and the ones that seem the most productive and happy, are the ones that have a solid respect for their fathers. The correlation I see is the one’s that grew up in homes where the mother didn’t respect the father, the daughters end up mimicking the same behavior. The ones that had an old school traditional home (father as leader, mother as second in command) appear to have less issues and more respect for the masculine. The… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

😑

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

” A teacher once told me, “He who walks through turds gets turds stuck to him.” It was a warning to be careful who we associate with because bad habits are contagious. “

Horseshit.

Fucking studies and research, but what’s a man’s experiences?

Imagine if Rollo just copy pasta 90% of his pieces and books without personal insight? Personal experiences and observations?

Reading is fundamental, but….fuuuccckkk.

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

Fuck you Blax.

I’ve been telling you the exact same stuff from my experience. And you can’t relate, interpret or understand what I say.

It runs true.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

😂 Okay, I don’t have any fucking studies to worship, but I have lifelong, varied experience, and that still counts in the real world. People can overcome their circumstances. It happens all the time, every single day. Your parenting doesn’t sentence you to death conclusively. It’s a generality, not a guarantee. Many women, regardless of how many parents were present, or how many dishes were broken, are influenced by what society is doing, pushing and allowing. It’s not necessarily what they want, because fucking sheeple, and many times they don’t even know what they really want. But if you observe… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

@Blax People can overcome their circumstances. It happens all the time, every single day. Your parenting doesn’t sentence you to death conclusively. It’s a generality, not a guarantee. You said in the other Why We Fight Thread: “People just need to make better choices. Truth. They are making ” good choices” I agree that people can overcome their circumstances. And would go one further to say that people must over come their circumstances, if they were bad. And excuse me for saying this, and I beg everyone’s pardon–it is one’s moral obligation to overcome their bad circumstances, if they had… Read more »

Fact
Fact
2 months ago

Great observations about religious tradcons. They need to get called out.

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

And….

The The Proof is in the Pudding. (And also the Putting–otherwise known as action on your part. Not being a douche.)

Go on all you want about what could happen. And what should happen. And how most people can do it.

“A dish may have been made from a good recipe with fresh ingredients and look delicious, but you can really only judge it by putting it in your mouth. The actual taste is the only true criterion of success.”

trackback

[…] Rollo discusses putting yourself first before your other half. […]

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

“Okay, I don’t have any fucking studies to worship, but I have lifelong, varied experience, and that still counts in the real world.” Quick question Blax: We are the same age. Tell me after all my comments. Do you actually think that I don’t have lifelong, varied experiences and that they don’t count in the real world. And yet, despite red pill awareness, I’m very well in MRP. You seem frustrated by what I comment on. You seem to exhort your mentees to do good shit. You seem to think everyone can be like you. And be great. And then… Read more »

walawala
walawala
2 months ago

@Rollo, worth kicking around during your next podcast….

The best Oxymoron ever: Platonic Intimacy…..

https://greatist.com/connect/platonic-relationship-and-intimacy?fbclid=IwAR12d0WJnKp2UdFiSwuTUgu5HO_YJn0pLaGV2tXinvUanO-qA_bBLpz6Ejk#platonic-love-defined

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Drugs.😐

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

SJF I think what is frustrating is exactly because we are the same age, but don’t have the same experiences in life or that we view them so very differently. But I think I’m figuring it all out, and that’s the point of the back and forth. Looks like our disconnect is due to having to face competition. Because of where we live, we’ve faces different levels of actual competition in life. You’ve visited highly competitive scenarios,.and I live in them. So your experience informs you that all you have to do is make an effort and you’ll succeed in… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

Palma

Anxious Epiphany Phase girl has severe anxiety. Trying to get tips on the best Benzodiazepine (Think: old school Valium) to calm her. (GAD is generalized anxiety disorder)

Same class of drugs that got JBP into a pickle.

More anxious than depressed. (SSRI’s are more for the straight depressed.)

And probably hyper-sexual. In a circular manner, needing to settle on a provider. Even if a provider of emotional tampon-ing.

NewGuy
NewGuy
2 months ago

@PalmaSailor – This shows how women are constantly testing and vetting men as per their internal firmware. And what they say may not be the actual truth. This is why women never seem to know what they want. @SJF – Thanks for the wealth of data to help explain some of my observations. I like to hear Dr. Smith and Richard Cooper discuss topics because they come from two different perspectives. Shawn has studied these behaviors in the academic world while Richard has data from men sharing their experiences. I need to order both of their books. @Blaximus – I… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 months ago

tl;dr moment Rollo’s essay can be boiled down to “Your frame, not her frame” and the generous bullet points spell out in detail exactly what that looks like. This is invaluable for a whole lot of men, just about all of us at some point. @WalaWala “Platonic intimacy” – lol, sigh. Some people never get out of mid high. This is just a really extended version of LJBF, except with extra helpings of stupid sauce when the “xirs” need to bond with someone but reject biology. Newguy As Shawn states, it’s best to find a woman that comes from a… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

SJF

The way it’s supposed to work….but doesn’t really any longer.

https://mobile.twitter.com/EdLatimore/status/1235967107063517187

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

“I’m so proud to have Ralph as my husband. He is a great captain of the ship, and I love having him at the helm. We’re all very lucky to be with him, to share his dreams, to be a part of them, and to embrace each other and love each other so much.”
–Ricky Lauren

If you want to catch a glimpse of Mission, Frame, the role of a woman in a man’s life – and DPA in action – check out the documentary Very Ralph

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b3T8ttxTX-I

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

” Of all the women I interact with, very few are what I’d call happy. Only the very young ones that are still living the dream. Anything approaching 30 is looking around at their life options – men – job – lifestyle, and getting very worried at what they’re seeing which summarised is: They’ll have to do it for themselves bc there aren’t many men that can carry them. “ +100 My dad busted my balls once by saying ” why is it that when you take a wife, you send her to college, get her a degree and a… Read more »

Roused
2 months ago

That’s why Yareally used to call us ” omg’s ” and made fun of what he thought was a mindset shared by all. That was his experience. We’re all old and out of touch and don’t understand what young men face. Yareally was a pussy. A harpy little bitch who knew game tactics. Big fucking deal. He was also mightily delusional about marriage, relationships, polyamory, divorce and raising children. Recently my son and I had a conversation about the generational differences of his and mine. I let him talk and share what he thought. Much of it was actually minor… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Well, I got the plow thing covered, and the barn thing, but I’m fucked with the rest of the list. I’ve chopped down a couple of trees one at a time. Those were things the older generation made is learn/do. And thank God. Getting punched always paled in comparison to getting kicked by a mule. Lol, I don’t see Yareally as a pussy. I learned a lot from him while he was here, and I was hoping to teach him some stuff if he’d hung around longer. Even if I didn’t agree with some of his views, at least I… Read more »

j
j
2 months ago

“FFS enough of the these made up terms to satisfy the need to sell a book”

b r u t a l

Yeah after all these years I think all the most important concepts I learned from Rollo that I couldn’t have learned by myself (or would’ve taken a long time without them at least) were Alfa Fucks Beta Bucks, Just Get It ™, and Hypergamy Doesn’t Care. The rest is just noise. Understand these concepts and then just live your life. Experience will tell you what to do from there.

kfg
kfg
2 months ago

“Who has plowed a field with nothing but a farm animal and a simple plow?”

Well, my brother liked to boast that he was big and strong like ox, but I don’t think he would’ve appreciated actually being called a farm animal.

” Bueller? Bueller?”

Clytemnestra? Circe? Penelope?

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

“Understand these concepts and then just live your life. Experience will tell you what to do from there.” It’s actually not that easy. I wonder what legacy you have at this point in your life. I’ll ask you a question J. Where have you come from? Where are you at? And where do you wish to be? Bait questions. But do tell. Who are you? Do you live to tell your father your worth as a son? An admittedly harsh question. But imagine someone is judging you outside of yourself. And the question isn’t how much you are getting off… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

“Who has plowed a field with nothing but a farm animal and a simple plow?”

Ah, a jumped-up pantry boy
Who never knew his place –This Charming Man, The Smiths…

I usually use my John Deere 5420 with a JD 390 flail mower. When Plowing down. But then when planting, my heavy duty disk harrow. And then the spike harrow.
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SJF
SJF
2 months ago

Holy Shit.

The old held for ransom Photobucket works.

I’ll be damned.
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Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

That’s not a farm animal

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

Heh. I’m surprised that Photobucket works.

Here is a disk harrow:
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Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Not a simple plow….

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

I’m listening to A Beautiful Day By U2. and then Whatever it Takes by Imagine Dragons.
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SJF
SJF
2 months ago

“Not a simple plow….” What don’t you understand about metaphors and analogies? And/or what is your need to swing your dick and Jordan Belfort swing dick? Big balls and all? And discount lots of past adventures and gone through hard times stuff? Puff the magic dragon. Must throw punches or have hard times when single or nothing. Can’t have Anna Karenina Principle good handle on all your shit. That’s not a thing, right? Rose bushes and all… Thing is Blax, you have your shit handled. And so do I. But you want your boys to do so too. But you… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

For the record, I don’t have ” behaviors “, best or otherwise.

I too don’t have sons, yet at the same time I have a hundred.

You talk sideways. It’s feminine. Little jabs.

Roused had a specific list, and in SJF fashion, it flew over your head at hypersonic speed. A John Deer isn’t a mule and plow. One is ” easy “, one is more difficult. A horse is not a 737.

I’ll teach young men to at least understand the difference.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Copy paste for today – Part of why it’s easy for anyone to see themselves, or the groups they belong to, as super moral is because morality itself is a vague concept. “You can have one person, for instance, who cares very deeply for their friends and family and would go to the ends of the earth for these people,” Tappin says. “And yet they don’t, say, give a dime to foreign charity. And then you’ve got another person who spends their entire life donating money overseas, yet in their interpersonal life, perhaps they don’t treat their family members very… Read more »

NotaBene
NotaBene
2 months ago

Yes, 100%, to the first list. I almost take all this for granted now, been living this way for ~20 years. Actually makes me a bit less sympathetic and understanding of others (both men and women), but I try. There’s a certain amount of irony in this topic. If you put her first, put her on a throne, neither of you will end up satisfied. As Roisy/Rollo said, she doesn’t actually want to be first in your life. It’s a gigantic shit test. I’ve figured out that, while women will always follow an alpha, what they can do is learn… Read more »

Just Beers
Just Beers
2 months ago

@SJF

Thanks for your consistency and insight. Your message remains coherent and helpful time and again.

@ J

You mentioned three good ones, yet they have something in common: they are female-focused. All that is fixed by this 4th, being MPO (Mental Point of Origin), and, ultimately FRAME. In fact MPO and Frame are what the original post is all about.

Strongly recommend paying attention to these two in your life. They’ve helped me the most.

Jeff Costelo
2 months ago

I’m experiencing something like this, a certain discomfort in seeing woman doing things just to be with me, going after my attention and the likes. Then I remember this is just my bluepilled self resisting. But it’s good to also know my redpilled self is conscious to help me make the right decisions.

Mihc
Mihc
2 months ago

Anything and everything, in return for Queen C*nt.

Things are the way they are because most prefer them to be the way they are.

The right response is, then, “fine”. And if you don’t like it, you exit the game ( maybe all games, if you don’t like games).

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 months ago

Jeff Costelo
I’m experiencing something like this, a certain discomfort in seeing woman doing things just to be with me, going after my attention and the likes. Then I remember this is just my bluepilled self resisting. But it’s good to also know my redpilled self is conscious to help me make the right decisions.

Good stuff. Thinking carefully is a plan, overthinking is not. You are the prize, not the girls.

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

I’m listening to A Beautiful Day By U2. and then Whatever it Takes by Imagine Dragons.

That was my wife and I in the middle of the picture. Surrounded by our shiny, happy, country club, social circle.

A Fleeting image.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

file:///storage/emulated/0/Download/the-million-man-march.jpg

I’m in the 50th row, in the middle, with the cute Japanese chick.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 months ago

Mihc
Things are the way they are because most prefer them to be the way they are.

Most men aren’t aware there is an alternative. That’s one reason this site exists.

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

SJF

A Fleeting image.

Well said?

Do you think your kids will be in a similar picture? Your grandkids? All you will have to pass on to them is the husk of whatever if left over after the Viking cruises and winters in Naples.

How long will this merry go round go rounding?

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

Life can be hard at times. Doesn’t mean it will always be hard. All this worry about getting pussy and how terribly hard it is. FFS go cut down just ONE tree by hand, no chainsaw. Then clear out the roots with your axe and bare hands. Then come back to talk about how hard life is. GO LIVE. Do shit with yourself. Make good use of your time and get the hell outside for crissakes. Fucking crybaby shit about social media, the Feminine Imperative and those evil girls and their hypergamy. FFS A metaphor. For getting outside. YaReally was… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

@ Sentient

I have no idea what you are asking.

I’m not a nihilist.

My kids will do fine. ( and Jesus, they have a shit ton of capital to back them up when I’m gone. And I think yours will too. So it goes to wise decisions after that. And FreeWill. Go figure. And the more you put the platinum rule on the table for your kids, the more FreeWill they have. And they will choose wisely. Or not…)

How about your children? Are you confident in their future.

I am in mine.

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

Do you think your kids will be in a similar picture? Your grandkids?

Pretty straightforward questions.

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

“Pretty straightforward questions.”

I foresee my kids and grandkids to be fine.

But I don’t actually think about it, because they have the tools to be fine. And it’s not in my wheelhouse to worry about it.

And you?

What’s your thoughts?

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

I foresee my kids and grandkids to be fine. I asked if you saw them in your picture in your club at your age. Not if they will be “fine”. [FINE – Freaked Out / Insecure/ Neurotic / Emotional btw] You’re not a boomer, so this boomeresque posturing doesn’t suit you. Look around. Look back… look at your great grandfathers UMC and UC. Was it better or worse than yours? How many of those houses even exist anymore? [not demolished and subdivided or museums – shit you can’t even get those raw materials anymore] How much grander and more numerous… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

I’m not sure what you are implying Sentient.

Welcome to the shit show? Or whatever? You don’t like the future of your son?

What is your point?

And my kids are actually doing very well.

28 and 25.

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

My point is you should take some time out from crowing about how great everything is in UMClandtopia because if you look around you will see that life contracting – as it’s been for a very long time – and think about the implications of that for your kids and grandkids. It’s not a bulwark and those skills aren’t coupons to be clipped.

But frogs do get boiled.

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

That life is not contracting.

I’m in it and I have observation skills.

That is you saying it.

Not me.

And things are not actually degenerating.

Whether it be the buffers or whether it be the fortitude and the skills.

I’m not sure why you are saying life sucks, Sentient? And will degenerate?

It doesn’t actually.

Why is this a thing?

And what the fuck?

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

I’m in it and I have observation skills.

I asked you to compare the current and contrast it with your grandfather’s and great grandfather’s UMC and UC. You’ve not done so. You just put your fingers in your ears and say “Life is Beautiful”… lol

Soup’s about to be done…

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago
Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

My kids will do fine. ( and Jesus, they have a shit ton of capital to back them up when I’m gone. And I think yours will too. So it goes to wise decisions after that. And FreeWill. Go figure. And the more you put the platinum rule on the table for your kids, the more FreeWill they have. And they will choose wisely. Or not…) But what if the fiat based capital fails? Are you saying that your kids and grandkids will be ” fine ” because of capital? In all of the reading you’ve done, have you ever… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago
Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

But…bbut…bbuttt Cash and assets never ever ever ever get devalued. It’s never happened anywhere in history, especially not here. And gov’t wouldn’t seize property. It’s unconstitutional ( not ). I know because in 2004 I was schooled by very smart guys that assured me that housing prices would only to up, not down, so I’d be foolish not to buy a 200,000 house that was priced at 300,000 4 years after it’s last sale. Comps don’t lie.😁 Yeah, I don’t have a Crystal ball but I’m highly concerned for my kids/family’s future. I understand how money is created, who creates… Read more »

IAS
IAS
2 months ago

@Everyone on the worrying about their kids: I think SJF has one thing right. He doesn’t worry about it. That is the correct approach, even if it really does look like he is coming to the not worrying from the wrong place or justification. If you can do something about it, then do, if you can’t, then don’t worry about it. I don’t have kids and I don’t want to. One of the reasons I didn’t want to (but by far not the main one) is I do think things are going to shit in the not so far future.… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

You guys are idiots. It ain’t only the capital.

All you have to do is be in the room with my son or daughter (and her husband) and know by associating with them, that they will be finer than most anyone else, no matter what happens.

They are fine beings.

I don’t see doom and gloom, generation-ally. What’s the point of that? To tell my kids not to have kids?

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Vague. The only thing that’s clear is capital.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

IAS

This ain’t about worrying at all.

wahoo Mcdaniels
2 months ago

@Roused and the rest of you yuppies.

If (the longest word in the english language,but seriously) I bought the 40 next door to you and hand dug and built a two seater, tilled and planted a garden, built a cabin or strawbale house sans permits then moved all my spare parts cars without tags in . Would you come over for dinner or complain to the authorities because your wife is scared.

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

Vague. The only thing that’s clear is capital. This ain’t about worrying at all. Well, if you want me to piss you off even further, Blax. Wait till I tell you what key factor I see in my family is the inter-generational transfer of intelligence. My parents and my wife’s parents were intelligent and socially graceful, my wife and I are more so, are children are more so. And not just IQ. Adept at playing not to lose. (Which is admittedly a dirty four-letter-word in the Manosphere.) Henny Penny/Chicken Little… @Wahoo McDaniels I (from the city) bought the 40 next… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

Private schools have lomg been a hallmark of the UMC/UC demographic. How many are increasing enrollment YoY and how many are decreasing? Tuition is getting out of control. The average tuition for a K-12 private day school for the 2008-09 school year was approximately $17,000, according to data collected by the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS), a membership organization that consistently puts out enrollment reports on the sector. In 2019, the average yearly tuition for a private day school with all grades is $26,000, an increase of about 53 percent over the last decade. After averaging estimates for 5-day… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
2 months ago

@SJF – I asked about the “never had a fight” thing because I was genuinely curious. I don’t understand how that is possible that’s all. It is obviously possible (you’ve done it) – it just seems astonishing to me. And I was a socially introverted nerd who grew up in an uber-sheltered environment that was every bit as UMC as yours (a bit more diverse in terms of experiences – I lived abroad for some time etc, but still). I didn’t grow up having fights like Sentient and Palma and Blax and so on. College (first time living by myself)… Read more »

wahoo Mcdaniels
2 months ago

Sentient, median income people don’t send their children to private schools. Median income people aren’t even close to middle class although they should be as that would change perspective greatly. Private schools are self supporting?

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

SJF Lol, you’re not pissing me off at all. I’m interrogating you because I’m trying to understand you. I have a couple of friends that have the exact same mentality that you state here. I’m still trying to understand them as well. My friends believe that they are doing things in life that set them apart from ” everyone else “, and that their success is solely due to ” right choices ” and ” good genes ” and ” optimism ” and ” who they know ” and ” where they live ” and ” bank accounts “. But… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

I’m the only one in my family (three brothers) or my parent’s 13 grand-kids that went to a private college. And my kids are out of college three to six years ago and have no college debt. I’ll be dead when my grand-kids enter college. And I don’t really care what they do. They’ll be fine. If not I won’t have control. Maybe they will play in the park with hand grenades. What is the point of making the point that civilization is swirling downward. They still have to live in it. What is one person going to do about… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 months ago

Wahoo I’m well acquainted with who goes to private schools – having put five kids through them at a 7 figure plus cost, served on numerous committees and Boards and Foundations. And I’m well acquainted with the enrollment challenges these institutions face and the number of “median income” families in the demo ($300k plus) who are on financial aid. Self supporting? LOL. Not in the UMC. A very small number of very small UC schools only. The one percent getting very more one percentier. SJF – My parents and my wife’s parents were intelligent and socially graceful, my wife and… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 months ago

“One of my friends, that I’ll see today in fact, says I’m a hypocrite because I stack dough, and sent my kids to ” the best ” schools, but what he ignored is that my parents couldn’t help. This was 100% my creation starting from basically zero. When you start at the bottom, you don’t fear the bottom, and you don’t have to pretend it’s not there or that the inhabitants are not intelligent or did something wrong. I understand that life is more complicated than ” I’m good ” because nobody lives in a vacuum ( in reality). I… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 months ago

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After:
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Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Sentient Damn 5??!!?? I hear you loud and clear. I only put 2 through private school. I’ve been fighting for public school reform, and even thought my kids are out of the elementary/high school thing, there’s no reason that public education where I live needs to be as shitty as it is. And I live around these poorly educated folks somewhat ( ie: close enough to be a concern at times, lol. ) I’ve watched some parents struggle mightily to keep their kids in private school. One job loss away from catastrophe, taking second jobs, stuff like that. It helps… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 months ago

Kfg

Those people pictured made bad choices.

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