Little Big Head

One of the dichotomies I consistently see in the manosphere is the differences in how men approach the importance (or feigned unimportance) of sex. I got a bit sidetracked in last week’s essay. I was planing on writing about this phenomenon when I saw the need to explore how it impacted a larger social narrative. So, let’s consider this essay an addendum to The New Polyandry.

How men publicly and privately prioritize sex is always something that leads to a judgement call about that particular man, how he lives his life, and what it says about his integrity. If you openly make sex a “big deal” in your life, or you acknowledge its importance in intersexual relationships, you open yourself up to men’s Beta Game virtue signaling. The presumption is that if you were a real Alpha sex is just something you should have mastery over. If sex is at all important to a man, and he expresses this, that guy runs the risk of being seen as “obsessed with sex“, a “pussy beggar” or in someway less of a man for allowing sex to control his decisions.

Why is this the perception?

Two weeks ago I had a lively debate with the producer of Pat Campbell’s morning show. While we did have other topics to hit on that morning, she and I dug in and talked about how “sex is the glue that holds relationships together.” You can listen to the full segment here if you like.

As I mentioned last week, the notion that men need sex is nothing I haven’t covered in the past. In You Need Sex I made a case for the importance of sex and how it was, until recently, something that constituted part of a man’s life experience. Now it seems that being a sexless virgin at age 40 should be considered an accomplishment by certain factions in the manosphere: 

One very common dismissal of Red Pill awareness I read from Blue Pill men is this feigned, blasé indifference to sex.

For the most part this false-indifference is really a conditioned, response couched in Beta Game. The idea is for the Blue Pill guy to promote the public perception that he’s above his sexual impulses in the hopes that any girl within earshot (or reading his comments online) will recognize his uniqueness in not letting his cock do his thinking for him. From a male deductive logic standpoint it makes sense to the feminized male – women have all told him how off-put they are with guys who only think about sex, so he’ll identify with the women he’d like to get with and “not be like other guys.”

“All that Red Pill, PUA shit is for guy’s who obsess over sex. They only go to the lengths they do to get laid and never see the bigger picture. You don’t need sex you know? You wont die from not getting laid.”

[…]Thats the Beta Game behind the “you don’t need sex” Buffer, but there’s more to this rationale than that. Technically the Beta reasoning is correct; physically, you’re not going to die if you don’t get laid. You could probably masturbate to relieve yourself or live a sexless existence due to a physical disability and live a productive life as satisfying as you can manage it. If you don’t know what you’re missing or if a sexual substitute does the job, what’s the difference, right? The line of reasoning is that if it isn’t food, water or oxygen it isn’t really a necessity for existence.

You’re All Obsessed!

Self-righteous Blue Pill men always look to make their necessities into virtues. It also helps the men who fall on the 80% side of the Hypergamous Pareto curve to convince themselves and others that their sexual strategy – one that follows enforced monogamy – is the moral one; or the logical, common sense one absent the moral context. If you cannot get laid yourself, at least you can make getting laid into an ‘obsession‘ for the 20% of men who can. By doing so you encourage the 20% of men, who women desire to fuck, to police themselves and women by adopting your own, self-superior, one-woman-per-man sexual strategy.

Pretty much every MRA I’ve listened to, most Traditional Conservatives and a few MGTOWs, like to qualify men who can get laid as being in some way obsessed with getting laid. We’re told how morally superior they themselves are for essentially thinking with the big head instead of the little one, thus confirming their own part in a monogamous sexual strategy. As I mentioned in the last essay, a majority of men tend to fall on one side of the Strategic Pluralism Theory with respect to their sexual strategy.

Low SMV (sexual market value) men are basically forced to invest in one woman at a time if they are to successfully reproduce. This is the basis of a socio-sexual order founded on enforced monogamy. The larger pool of men benefit reproductively if the majority of men can be relied upon to follow the dictates of socially accepted, socially enforced, form of monogamy.

In the past this emphasis also had a culling effect on the worst aspects of women’s Hypergamous tendencies. If all men – including the 20% who could enjoy many women – agreed to play by the old social contract and adopted monogamy as their sexual strategy (in spite of being able to reproduce outside it) then more men would have the opportunity to reproduce. Furthermore, women’s Hypergamy would also be forced to accept lower SMV men’s monogamous strategy as a buffer to worst aspects of their own.

In the past, religious and social mores used to act as a buffer against Hypergamy, but the compromise for women was that they could expect to have the Beta Bucks provisioning aspects of their Hypergamy more or less provided for by the majority of men who adopted this strategy. In an evolutionary sense, protection and provisioning are already an integral part of the male mental firmware. But all of that went out the window after the Sexual Revolution, unilaterally female-controlled hormonal birth control and the socio-sexual/socioeconomic landscape that sprang from the Fempowerment narrative.

Today there is a radical imbalance between the old social contract upon which enforced monogamy was a key element and the new social contract dictated by a gynocratic social order that places women’s sexual strategy well above that of men’s. So it’s small wonder that men would revert back to 80% of low SMV men insisting on, and shaming, the 20% of high SMV men comply with a sexual strategy that women readily confirm isn’t in their best interests. 

On the male side of the strategic equation a majority of low SMV men cannot afford to have Alpha men playing by the rules of polygyny.

That polygyny is really a form of female-directed polyandry (see last week’s essay), but to the 20% of men who enjoy the benefits of falling on the enthusiastic consent side of Hypergamy it just makes sense to go with it. As such, low SMV men are compelled to find ways of discouraging these Alphas from following their r selected sexual strategy. They realize women will want, and pursue, Alphas. And in a polyandrous socio-sexual order based on the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy low SMV men drew the shortest straw.

Intrasexual Combat

When Beta men shame women for wanting to fuck Alpha men it has the effect of making those Beta men seem more insecure. In a feminine-primary social order one of the highest crimes is to attempt to challenge Hypergamy in any way. Even in a religious context, to challenge Hypergamy is to be guilty of repressing women’s sexuality. Today, just this impression is conflated with ‘toxic’ masculinity.

In truth, it would never occur to most low SMV men to shame women for their sexual strategy because they know that in doing so they reduce their own chances of reproduction. Women simply deem them ‘losers’ in the SMP (sexual marketplace). They become scolds, or worse, they become men who are “insecure in their masculinity” because they confirm their low SMV status in doing so. In today’s socio-sexual environment men policing women’s Hypergamy is a lost cause.

The solution then becomes an effort to disqualify the Alpha men they compete with by changing the rules that “real men” are supposed to play by. If you can’t win the Game, change the rules to better fit your strengths.

The ‘Real Man®‘ becomes the guy who exclusively invests himself in one ‘Quality Woman‘ – just like they do.

The apex of masculinity becomes whatever definition best aligns with what they believe they represent.

The’Real Man®‘ is the guy who best fulfills a woman’s, often duplicitous, sexual/life strategy by adopting the K mating strategy of socially/religiously enforced monogamy – just like they do. Oh, and the Quality Woman becomes whatever woman whose necessity compels her to agree with and adopt that strategy (Epiphany Phase).

The Real Man®‘ is the guy who plays by the old social contract rules of enforced monogamy, so more Betas might have a better shot at reproduction. True ‘Manhood‘ becomes a title Betas now feel qualified to bestow on other men; just as women also do with men who help complete their Hypergamous life-strategies. 

Trads vs. The Playboy Lifestyle

In order for Beta men to effect this reigning in of the Alpha men women want to tame and breed with, the high SMV man must be demonized and disqualified from the SMP for following his sexual/biological imperatives. The most common way to do this is by conflating his strategy with a degenerate hedonism. he must be made to seem as if he’s not in control of his sexual nature. So the effort becomes one of building an archetype around the ‘Playah‘ – A man who would be a bad long term bet for women’s Hypergamy because he lacks self-control. For this straw man character his little head does the thinking for the big head making him unreliable as a prospect for parental investment.

If enforced monogamy defines the accepted SMP, and women are presumed to be coequal, co-rational participants in it the ‘Playah’ needs to be cast as the outsider. The latent message is the same intrasexual combat method women use with ‘slut shaming‘; the ‘Playah‘ is a bad bet for long term security even if he is the guy women want to fuck.

However, that Playboy is a cruel reminder to low SMV men that they’ll never be able to fully exercise their own masculine imperative – unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. The closest the majority of men will ever get to this is online porn; which of course is why it’s so popular. There is a reason why 68% of Christian men watch porn. They understand that it’s the only viable substitute for their sexual imperative that they’re likely to experience in this lifetime.

While MRAs and MGTOW tend to reserve a special hate for ‘Playahs‘, it’s the Trad-Con mindset that is the most vocal against the Playboy lifestyle. There’s an overarching need amongst Trads to confirm their ego-investment in locking themselves into  enforced monogamy. 

There’s two complications to this:

First, Trad men (and women) tend to superimpose their religious and social belief set on their own sexual strategy. It’s a sin if they don’t accept monogamy as the standard. Today, this belief is a vestige of the old buffers that used to guard against either sex getting too far into their primal sexual impulses and strategies. It’s much easier to impose your sexual strategy on other men, effectively policing their strategy, if it’s ‘God’s Will’ that everyone behave according to that old social contract. I should add that this is the primary reason most Trad men suffer the worst from having their belief in the old set of books destroyed by Red Pill truths. It is galling for men who’ve invested their whole lives in the old social contract to have it vividly disproved by ‘Playahs’ (and women’s behaviors that confirm it) who understand the new social contract well enough to make it work for them.

Second, there’s the self-fulfilling idea that a man who opts for the traditional monogamous lifestyle is in some way more progressive or evolved, or life-satisfied than the ‘Playah‘ with the option to enjoy his non-exclusive sexual strategy. These are the guys who play up the ‘sour grapes’ Law of Power:

Law 36 – Disdain the things you cannot have

If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

MRAs and Trads alike don’t like being reminded that sex has always been an integral part of a healthy life experience for the majority of men who’ve ever lived on this planet. However, to them, sex is almost always a reward for desired behavior that they believe women expect of them. For most of them sex is always transactional so they never live out any frame of reference of having sex with a woman in a validational sense. It’s likely that they will never experience sex in any other context than the transactional. This is simply one of the visceral realities of a Darwinian sexual marketplace. As such, this pretext colors all of their understanding about what is, or should be accepted as, a legitimate sexual strategy – which unsurprisingly is his enforced monogamy strategy.

“Meaningful” Sex

The low SMV majority have many contrivances to corral uncooperative Alphas to adopt their sexual strategy. However, there’s also an involved necessity to convince themselves that their Blue Pill conditioning is the best sexual strategy that would benefit everyone if we’d all just see the validity of it as they do. To effect this they apply a subjective “meaningfulness” to their enforced monogamy (K selection) and “meaninglessness” to pursuing men’s biological imperatives (r selection) or the Alpha sexual strategy.

As a result, low SMV men tend to deemphasize the importance of sex in life. I asked this in the introduction; why is there a perception that a man who enjoys many women is somehow having sex that is less ‘meaningful’ than a man whose sex live is dependent on his relationship with one woman – or, a man who is ostensibly celibate?

The tactic involved here is the control over what constitutes meaning in sex. Low SMV men need this control to direct a meta-Frame that foments their sexual strategy; sex is only valid if it’s ‘meaningful’ in a way that aligns with an enforced monogamy sexual strategy. Thus, they can disqualify high-SMV men by delegitimizing his sexual experience. The higher the notch count, the less meaningful the sexual experience – and the likelier he can be seeen as “obsessed‘ with (meaningless) sex.

“Meaning” is deliberately ambiguous to better salve the egos of low SMV men, but meaning only aligns with what better promotes the enforced monogamy strategy. This strategy conflict actually serves Hypergamy in the long run as well. Women will endorse the importance of meaningful sex since it helps to convince the r selected Alphas that they should (eventually) shift to K selected commitment and parental investment with them. To the Beta moralist, any sex that doesn’t implicitly lead to marriage, children and the formation of families it’s always ‘meaningless’.

For the less moralistic low SMV man the idea that sex is something easily had, something inherently cheap, serves in devaluing Alpha men’s sexual experience. A popular idea among MRAs is that meaningless sex is something any guy can realistically achieve in a random club on a Friday night. This also serves to debase the value of learning Game; something MRAs never seem to have any facility with. By unrealistically cheapening the process of Game the same ‘meaninglessness’ imperative is created.

If any guy can find a worthless club slut with minimal effort then the low SMV man can raise his value by appearing to have higher standards than to lower himself to doing so. See how that works? This is a variation of the ‘sour grapes’ strategy I mentioned earlier. The Alpha who can easily get women becomes common. And by enjoying what Beta men believe should be a common sexual experience that man is reducing himself to his baser instincts. They say he’s “obsessed with pussy” or a “pussy beggar” because he’s applied himself to learning, in the most marginal way, how to have sex on his terms. And if he plays by a rule set that doesn’t align with the “correct” rules all his efforts become “meaningless”.

I should add here that MRAs and some Trad-Con men also like to foment the idea that because they eschew all that easily-had “meaningless” sex that Alpha men and Low Quality women are engaging it frees him up to pursue more esoteric, philosophical and creatively productive pursuits. Again, this helps to boost their esteem while presenting the appearance of uniqueness in spite of the fact that few of them ever have anything concrete to show for it. Along these lines they also love to imply that famous celibate men of antiquity were somehow more accomplished because they had the forbearance of mind to understand sex was a hindrance. When no one believes you aren’t making your necessity a virtue it’s sometimes necessary to paint men more famous than you with the same false-virtues.

The common refrain is that they’ve reached some Nirvana state of higher purpose or that they’ve evolved above the common need for sex. They shame the Alpha’s intelligence by claiming they allow their sexual nature to dictate to their rational nature. This too is a sexual quality signaling (or they believe it should be). They hope that their coequal, co-rational, Quality women will respond to it because they presume they’re using the same enforced monogamy rule book. Most Beta moralists are egalitarian blank-slate equalists. If they are evolved above their sexuality, then evolved, rational women should be too – but only if they are quality.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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theasdgamer
2 years ago

Cartoonist wants to create an alpha widow and that takes solid game…calibrating a girl’s emotional state well, maintaining frame, playing with emotions, handling shit tests, handling drama, giving comfort when needed, “sexiness”, being the unyielding oak to a girl’s emotional storm, creating Dread, etc.

Yes, a girl can be sold out to you and only you. But are you worthy?

Gentlemen (and I use the term loosely, hehe), are you prepared to create Preselection and/or Dread tonight?

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
2 years ago

Night of the Living Dread?

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

Cartoonist wants to create an alpha widow and that takes solid game…calibrating a girl’s emotional state well, maintaining frame, playing with emotions, handling shit tests, handling drama, giving comfort when needed, “sexiness”, being the unyielding oak to a girl’s emotional storm, creating Dread, etc. Yes, a girl can be sold out to you and only you. But are you worthy? Yes, Cartoon wants his Blue Pill ideals (What Ought to Be) within a Red Pill praxeology Awareness (of How Things Are) I don’t see you getting criticized for your comments Cartoonist, so much as getting educated. You are well meaning.… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

What Cartoon xist needs to figure out is how to stop creating “beta widows”. They are all transactionalists,basically betas create whores with the constant transactional sex. If you think it’s tough cracking an alpha widow just try not paying a beta widow shees louise.

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ SJF Your observation about Blue Pill ideals (What Ought to Be) versus Red Pill awareness (How Things Are) certainly resonates with me. It’s like two sides within me are at war. My intellect understands and grasps what Rollo, and many commenters, says in his blog, while my emotions resist it and still hanker after the notion of ‘True Love’. You also said something in an earlier comment which struck me—about how a man practices until he reaches a critical mass, after which it becomes natural. It reminded me of my struggle to quit smoking. For years my intellect understood… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

ex-cartoonist My comment on Critical Mass is not saying that you get Mastery at critical mass. Critical Mass is merely Ignition (spelled out in Daniel Coyle’s The Talent Code). It’s merely when you get your ass in gear and get moving with Action because of desire to do so. You no longer feel Severe Resistance to advance towards your goals. (The idea of Resistance is spelled out in Steven Pressfield’s Do the Work.) You’re moment of no longer thinking smoking was a good idea is indeed a moment of Critical Mass. You all the sudden had the energy to substitute… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Cartoonist Ok. I gotta chime in here because I do so every 100 or so observations about ” women and love “. Thinking women can’t love men is complete and total horseshit. Full stop. Now, what Rollo has stated here in numerous occasions is correct that ( most ) women aren’t capable of loving a man the way he wants to/thinks he should be loved .. Tell me you get the distinction? From comments in the Manosphere, it seems men generally look for a woman to love them unconditionally, even if they’ve done shit all to deserve that feat. Women… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

…. The Easter bunny ain’t coming either.

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

…it seems men generally look for a woman to love them unconditionally.. There’s nothing sad or frustrating about it… I have no concept of what most men expect wrt ” love “, or how they even define it. But I can tell you that if you’re looking for emotions and feelings, you’re fucking up. Some symbolic gesture. Again, red pill clarifies. The rest of them don’t OWE you shit. Hey Blax, That Some Symbolic Gesture is validational, rather than transactional Sex. Guys look for that, want That. Blue Pill guys were hoodwinked (truth got veiled…, for them). And every Red… Read more »

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ Blaximus “I have no concept of what most men expect wrt ” love “, or how they even define it.” This is where I get stuck: on defining love. I think I understand that “women don’t love men in the way men want to be/think they should be loved”. I used to believe it was possible to be loved ‘my way’, but experience taught me otherwise. However, knowing what love is NOT is not the same as knowing what it IS. Seriously, when you say, “women can most certainly love men”, I have no idea what that looks like.… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

Regulating Growth and Stability for Individuals, Marriages, Families and Groups. A System of Balancing Growth and Stability. (From David Schnarch, recommended by BluePillProfessor in coaching men.) Outer Circle: Growth, being in The Crucible (a situation of severe trial, or in which different elements interact, leading to the creation of something new.) Inner Circle: Comfort often involving and relying on Buffering. Comfort is boring as shit for women when you dwell there in a relationship. It’s stifling for a single man. (And fuck the term Self-Soothing, substitute: Don’t be a pussy, masculine self improve. Don’t Be Butt-hurt. Be Attractive, Don’t be… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

Seriously, when you say, “women can most certainly love men”, I have no idea what that looks like. I used to think I knew, but now I wouldn’t trust myself to know a woman’s love if she gave me a blowjob followed by an English breakfast. Is there a movie or TV show where you can say, “There! THAT’S what I’m talking about!’?

Where’s Fleezer, when you need him to explain that?

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
2 years ago

@cartoonist “It’s like two sides within me are at war.” Like I said. I think I read you, so… 1) Don’t refer to yourself as “ex” because you are not ex-anything, you have skills and qualities you can pull back out and put to use 2) “Love” is an overwrought and baggage-laden term, I think your funk may largely be a paralysis-by-analysis about “love.” Lighten up the cross and empty your mind of this search for meaning, just like you quit smoking. (I’m with the same woman for 30 years now and I don’t know what to tell anyone about… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Cartoonist

“part of me thinks I could somehow find something that everyone else missed. The ‘Cheat Codes’, as you put it. But I see that idea in a lot of guys’ comments, not here but elsewhere on the Internet, and I wonder if this is a common phase on the journey to unplugging.”

Known as “the bargaining phase”…

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

That’s funny. “Love, Actually” is a sales term. If you want to buy that sell, good luck with that, it’s complicated. Like an automobile. Corinthian Leather is a sales job, born in Blaximus’ back yard. Corinthian Leather From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Corinthian leather is a term coined by the advertising agency Bozell to describe the upholstery used in certain Chrysler luxury vehicles. The term first appeared in advertising in 1974.[1] Although this is merely a marketing concept, it suggests that the term -not the product- was inspired from the more elaborate and impressive ancient Greek column of the Corinthian… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago

Blaximus
I’m not a joiner.

Or a framer.
Probably not a table saw either…

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

We, my family and I, actually watched Love Actually on or before Christmas.

“Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.

Bill Nighy’s character:

Billy Mack: “Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don’t buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!”

Validational, not Transactional goings on.

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

I have too many books and need to build some more shelves, but . . . my table saw is stacked with books.

Is a puzzlement.

boulderhead
2 years ago

@Toonist

You can still hold yourself to the same standards,just understand that they don’t apply to her. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t have standards that don’t apply to you. It’s a double edge sword.

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

I am suddenly being bombarded by RSD ads on YT imploring me to attend their new seminar where they will reveal their new discovery:

Game isn’t just for pickup in clubs, it’s applicable to other aspects of life as well, like negotiating a raise.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

I remember that post, but what I recall even more was the immediate comments calling Bullshit on the notion of deep conversion. I was surprised that most pua adherents had no idea that it was even possible. Lol,but estimation of what pua was teaching ( or how guys perceived what was being said ) dropped my personal opinion of the goals of pua by a bunch of points. A huge focus on the ” negatives ” of women, without understanding the ” positives ” and the possibilities to be in the lookout for. Dick.wet = life is great is less… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

“Dick.wet = life is great is less than half the long term battle.”

Getting laid is just graduating from basic training,merely an entrance into the “long term battle”.

Life is great for many reasons not the least of which being sex.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Hell yes.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

comment image

“Welcome to the Suck, kid…”

DisgruntledEarthling
DisgruntledEarthling
2 years ago

You are fundamentally alone as a man.
That’s the wake up call

True dat. Once you accept this the rest is doable.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Engrave on the receiver of your fav assault rifle… “If you are a man, know that the moment you were born the universe had it in for you. The deck was stacked. The deal was raw. Your expendability was programmed into your wet code before you gained self-awareness. The worldscape of genes can rebuild with the seed of one man should catastrophe strike, but each woman lost is a lethal blow to the repopulation project. In sober moments free of maudlin introspection, you will understand there is no other game to play save this one. This is why to live… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

Roooooooooll credits.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

The worldscape of genes can rebuild with the seed of one man should catastrophe strike,

Somebody doesn’t understand genetics.

j
j
2 years ago

“I was surprised that most pua adherents had no idea that it was even possible”. Palma (2019): “The reality is that what you want from her requires a burden of performance from you, you won’t get it by “just being yourself” YaReally PUA (2016): “Deep Conversion” is just “triggering her Hypergamy for a long period of time”. The second you stop being her best Hypergamous option, the “Deep Conversion” dies. Hypergamy doesn’t care about “DEEP CONVERSION” (TM) There’s no permanent deep connection. Your wife WILL lose attraction if you become a beta chode for too long. At best a high… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago

Sentient
Engrave on the receiver of your fav assault rifle…

Lol…nah. Understand the sentiment, but…nah.

If nothing else that would affect the resale value, and Title III guns are pricey.

kfg
kfg
2 years ago
Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

J I will say it again, ( and you won’t get what I’m trying to clue you in on ) – a man that worries about triggering a woman’s hypergamic side is faking his way and is concerned that he won’t be able to maintain the charade well enough. Ya went on and on in pua speak, because that’s the incorrect lens he chose to see things in. Hence, deep conversion didn’t register with him because rsd never covered it in a video. When you only depend on what another man teaches you, and you don’t gain enough understanding and… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Yareally always said “field is king”, and then he started posting on shit he had zero field experience in…

And then he shit the bed and went home.

Fini

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
2 years ago

I don’t think there is a contradiction between Blax’s views and YaReally’s on Deep Conversion and I thought the same thing when they were having the argument back then. Of course it is possible to have Deep Conversion and make an exceptional impact on a woman’s psyche above all others so that she’ll do anything for you. The mechanics of it are probably pretty much what Ya described but to an extreme level such that you have to think about whether a quantitative difference at some point becomes a qualitative one. That said, of course DC isn’t absolute and infallible.… Read more »

j
j
2 years ago

“Of course it is possible to have Deep Conversion and make an exceptional impact on a woman’s psyche above all others so that she’ll do anything for you”. I mean you could say my current fuckbuddy is “deeply converted” right now. Pays for my dinner every time. Makes me breakfast every time. Fuck her raw (insisted repeatedly I use a condom. ya its annoying but at least I know the bitch got that ‘safety first’ mindset). Gives me a message when I ask. NEVER turns me down for sex whenever I want to fuck (I turn her down tho lol)… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

What point is J. trying to make? The Deep Conversion topic was brought up to make a point to Ex-Cartoonist that it is not pointless to even try to have a relationship on his terms with a girl. Because YaReally and name PUA’s have a confirmation bias against Deep Conversion because they don’t need or want it. They don’t want to deeply convert a girl because that would bring out her desire for his commitment. (PUAs redefining their end goals to deny happy committed girls can be kept in that state long term.) They don’t want to get off the… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

J

“I mean you could say my current fuckbuddy is “deeply converted” right now.”

Well you can say all kinds of things. But talking ain’t doing. See Walas quote…

Come back in two years and tell us then.

j
j
2 years ago

@Sentient “Come back in two years and tell us then”. lol. 99.9% chance I’m gonna be with a different chick by then. Not that easy for the dude who bought into the blue pill lie that just cause she married him, he don’t gotta worry about his burden of performance anymore cause she deeply converted ™ now. Longest fuckbuddy I’ve had was this chick I was with from July 2016-March 2018. And by January of ’18, I was already bored of fucking her (had another girl that I liked better at the time) and couldn’t care less if she dropped… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

j’s deep conversion sounds like this hooker I used to frequent back in the late 70s. I was tired of all the women that wanted to lock me in and looking for the noncommital fuck. Thats what works when your a top tier man it’s easy and less painfull. Any how she always insisted on condoms and would freak when they broke. One time she dressed up real sharp and came into my work place,I hardly recognised her. Another time an old construction partner of mine was in town and I had her set up a friend for him,we did… Read more »

chuch
chuch
2 years ago

This shit is not that complicated guys. Understand female nature and look at your smv and be honest about the type of women you can get. Women always trade up and monogamy does not mean anything to women in our society. Date casually and have fun. If you want to have a relationship, just know that she’s not any different from any of the other woman you have met. They all ride the carousel.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

One of the biggest misunderstanding men can have is that they think a woman fucking them or blowing them always means that they see you in some positive light, and that you’ve ‘ touched ‘ their souls in some manner and are speshul to them. Sex is just sex. They can turn off that switch faster than you can, unless…… A massage? Seriously? Buying shit? Nah, you are looking at the surface and spinning it as a man would. There’s the rub, and that’s where men get hosed sometimes. Never see it coming. Don’t know what happened. Also, my ‘… Read more »

j
j
2 years ago

@blax

nah b. there ain’t no misunderstanding here.

she doing all this shit cause my sex game is far and above any nigga she ever been with. and cause of my attitude:

https://imgur.com/a/7DumVDA

I know she ain’t in “Love” just yet…I warned her tho….b careful!

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

J

“Wala lost his girl cause he slipped up. I lost my girl cause I wouldn’t commit.”

I’ll take “What Deep Conversion Isn’t” Alex, for a thousand.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

😂😂😂😃😅😅😅😂😂

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Burden of Performance is for you and your MPoO… Platinum rule style.

Anything with women as a result of this is just an ancillary benefit.

ex-cartoonist
2 years ago

@ Palmasailor Thanks for the link to the Deep Conversion article. Been digesting it over the weekend. What strikes me is the similarity I see between Red Pill conversion and my experience learning the Tango. When I first took tango lessons, I was clumsy and awkward and all over the place. You have to learn a totally new way of holding yourself and moving which feels unnatural at first and it takes hours and hours of practice. But, at about the two year mark, something clicked. I could do it! However, ‘doing it’ did not mean I was a great… Read more »

Marko Ramius
Marko Ramius
2 years ago

Rollo: New format’s very light typeface is less easy to read. Please take a further look at this, and change settings to make typeface darker and easy to read.
Anyone else in the commentariat agree?

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

I blow up the page on my tablet, no problems reading.

And I have notorious issues with small print ( blue blocking readers to the rescue).

I’m digging the new format.

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

Ex-Cartoonist Regarding my own Conversion, I think I’m still at the ‘pre-click’ stage. The thought of ‘spinning plates’ feels tiring rather than exciting. Even at tango salons where a man is supposed to dance with multiple women, I prefer the evenings when I’m partnering a woman I like and not even thinking about the rest. And the question I struggle with is: Is this simply my personal preference or is it a result of Blue Pill conditioning? Not a bad tango analogy from Blue Pill to Red Pill conditioning. Your preference is part of your Blue Pill conditioning. But it… Read more »

j
j
2 years ago

“She admitted she had been seeing a man in an on-off affair during the 20-year marriage – but wouldn’t name him”.

“Legal documents seen by the Mail on Sunday reveal Mrs Mason declared a sudden interest in Judaism when she first fell pregnant.

She also insisted all three children have Jewish middle names, something Mr Mason now believes is a clue to the identity of the real father”.

“the legal case allowed her to keep the biological father’s name out of proceedings”.

Goals tbh

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Risky proposition knocking up married women, but some men see no risk at all in certain circles. I don’t think I’d call this ” goals “, but at the end of the day, it takes all kind of people to make the world go round. I have yet to meet a bulletproof man ( not even those heavily armoured bank robbers in Cali years ago…). Depends on what you’ve seen happen. I once worked with a guy who loved banging women. He said if they are married, it only meant that you couldn’t call them at home. He banged numerous… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

“Regarding my own Conversion, I think I’m still at the ‘pre-click’ stage. The thought of ‘spinning plates’ feels tiring rather than exciting.” I’m with you on this as I have been there before pre marriage. I can still see that I would never get married again unless it would be to try and raise children that aren’t poisoned by feminism and this is a pipe dream. Maybe just a son that is old school enough to survive is too much to ask for. Spinning plates is for kids. ” Even at tango salons where a man is supposed to dance… Read more »

j
j
2 years ago

@blax “Risky proposition knocking up married women, but some men see no risk at all in certain circles”. Not women. A woman. Gotta pick and choose wisely. Who’s her man? Is he blue pill beta? Does he look close enough to me? etc., It ain’t a simple “that married chick is hot, I want her to have my babies” decision. Can’t afford to be reckless here. Cause there are severe consequences if you fuck with the wrong dude as your friend found out. “( he told her he gave no fucks and he wasn’t going to do anything but pay… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago

Blaximus I have yet to meet a bulletproof man ( not even those heavily armoured bank robbers in Cali years ago…). Tangent: If I remember those thugs rightly, they weren’t all that heavily armored but the local cops didn’t have any carbines. Ironically any old rancher with a 30-30 could have stopped them much sooner than the cops. [Guy who banged married women] About 2 years later, an angry husband tracked him down ( I still don’t know how ) to his home, waited all night for him to emerge. When he was leaving for work, the irate husband confronted… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Life ain’t pickup son. All that shit you just said sounds exactly like somebody that’s bought into pickup ” fake it ” mindset, and think they can apply it all across their lives. A clue: A Blue Pill Beta is more likely to pump lead into your ass than anyone else. Another clue: You cannot figure out men wrt potential for violence/killing your ass until you give them a reason to do so. You’d be surprised. I watched a skinny, nerdy high school student on honor roll plunge a kitchen knife into a high school all American football player headed… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

AR Lol. the lack of marksmanship illustrates my point. The husband wasn’t a ” killer “. He was an angry, emotionally ruined man committing a crime of passion. On the news that night, the standard neighbor response was horror and shock, as one by one all of hubby’s neighbors said that they couldn’t believe that the quiet, hardworking family man would ever do such a thing. 90% of men have a limit. The other 10% have estrogen problems or something, lol. I’ve never seen anyone I know make a lifestyle out of fucking with other men and survive unscathed to… Read more »

j
j
2 years ago

@blax

“A Blue Pill Beta”

Is clueless about female nature and can be therefore be easily manipulated by his wife into believing/trusting her.
comment image

That’s why that’s important for me to find out. Is this guy a total chode. Don’t care if he has/doesn’t have the capacity to kill me.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Every man has to live his own life.

j
j
2 years ago

“He was an angry, emotionally ruined man committing a crime of passion”.

😉

boulderhead
2 years ago

People tell me things,total strangers just open up. This man tells me he is just out of prison for a crime of passion shooting his wife and her lover. But and get this ,it isn’t going to happen again because this time hes got a good one. I didn’t have the heart to tell him AWALT and its his fault it happened the first time and will happen again. Well he’s back in prison,this time just for stalking her after his good one moved on. Go figure. I see her now and then she’s a cutie.But not worth starting trouble… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

Whatever you do don’t warn a guy not to marry the slut, she will make you pay,don’t ask how I know this one.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Life ain’t pickup son. I woke at 3:30 a.m. vomiting and shitting for several hours. The baby woke after Daughter Gamer had left for work and Mrs. Gamer and I had to care for her. She had shitted herself quite a lot and there weren’t enough wipes and I was feeling nauseous, but I went downstairs to get them. Mrs. Gamer was trying to help, but she got babyshit on her hands and I needed to wipe them off so that she could touch and clothe the baby. Mrs. Gamer tried to do it herself and fucked it up and… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

So J your goal is to have kids and never see them?

Just jack off at the local sperm bank son.

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

That’s a pretty damn shitty example of microbiology and state control. Wash hands, rinse, repeat. Maintaining closeness to young newborns/toddlers has to be the sure test of passing shit back and forth. A microcosm. We had my wife’s niece and family over on New Years Day. Three young girls (1, 3, 9 y.o). What a trip. They need touch in the flu/bacteria season. Someone’s got to do it. They were super happy as a blue pill couple. I couldn’t even relate to the guy at all, him in a feminine bubble. The 3 year old girl shit tested and flirted… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

“So J your goal is to have kids and never see them?” Mini-Me to YaReally. J doesn’t have a plan. Except get his notch count up. And wing it. What do you do for money J.? What is your five year plan? Just keep going forward? That’s not criticism. How do you rate your success? What do you want to accomplish with yourself? Are you in your Frame? Self directed? Or are you in the frame of your women, get laid by them or Bust? Notch count uber alles? (a high notch count is good….) You portray yourself as slaying… Read more »

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

Here’s more of a pitch to Ex-Cartoonist: Think Red Pill 101, not Natural Blax level thought. Specifically for LTR Game. This blockquote is a synthesis of some stuff I went through recently. My red pill buddies helped me get further. I’m no slouch. But I had blind spots. You may benefit from me saying this. The authors were David Schnarch and some chick counselor on the YouTube (Chrysalis Connections | 10 Attributes of a Differentiated Person) Mental Point of Origin and Frame: A synthesis of No More Mr. Nice Guy and When I Say No I Feel Guilty (Assertiveness) It… Read more »

j
j
2 years ago

@Sentient “Just jack off at the local sperm bank son”. yeah….but like where’s the fun in that? http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/leo.gif I want to accomplish my biological purpose in life, the natural way: P-in-V. Fuck this artificial bullshit. BUT, I want to avoid the associated costs of doing so. So that requires me to get a little bit creative here. And as Boulder and Blax have written above, may very well result in an untimely brutal death. But for whatever reason, that doesn’t seem to deter me. No. I’d say It kind of adds to the thrill of it. The thrill of maybe… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Yeah, it’s thrilling until the bullets tear through you.

You’re not even close to the first guy I’ve heard espouse the ” I might die ” shit, until he’s paralyzed or blind or walks with pain or suffers traumatic head trauma.

Man…. that’s some dumb shit right there.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Maybe soon there will be designer colostomy bags, so there’s that.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

J

Plan?

Wtf are you talking about? You Aren’t banging married women.

j
j
2 years ago

@Sentient “Plan? Wtf are you talking about? You Aren’t banging married women”. lol, no not currently. This isn’t a well J, its either “now or never” plan. I’ve got plenty of decades to go about accomplishing this feat. I’ve just brought it up cause you linked that article. @Blax “Yeah, it’s thrilling until the bullets tear through you” lol what’s with this constant “you gonna get shot” shit. There’s plenty of illegal and immoral shit that I’ve already gotten away with in the past 5 years. And there’s also some things that I didn’t manage to get away with, which… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

You’re playing in the shallow end of the pool. That’s fine, if you like it, I love it. I’m just trying to get you to think. Always think. See the future. I know at least 3 guys that might be more prone to shooting you in the face, and none of them are ” low class thugs “. Your mentality is dangerous for your health. My ” you gonna get shot ” thing arises from watching guys your age, that think everything is a game, including shooting people. Every damn day some kid, from all backgrounds, has his mugshot flashed… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

J

“But just cause I say I like the “thrill of almost getting caught” don’t mean I’m gonna go looking to go start a fight with some low-class thug or steal something of immense value to him. ”

Well this song should clear up your confusion on this demographic…

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QvwDohEEQ1E

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Sentient Perfect song. When I was a wee lad, I’d sit in the floor at my father’s knee as he did his ritual guitar playing every day after work. He had a particular repertoire of songs he’d love to play, and one I always liked was Stagger Lee. For the early years of life, my dad was better than a radio. By age 5 or 6 I knew Chuck berry and fats domino and bo diddley’s entire catalog.b I was 11 or 12 when bad Leroy Brown came out, and my dad fell in love with the song and played… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

J “But just cause I say I like the “thrill of almost getting caught” She likes that thrill even more than you do,in fact she invented it. Some real fun is when you find out who her husband is and he is the fn Hulk and he’s pissed off all the time cuz he ain’t gettin any.LOL Then your sitting in the diner with your girl and in comes the married one you were fuckin with this huge MFr and insists on the table right next to yours. Thats a thrill a minute. Whats even more fun is when you… Read more »

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
2 years ago

Don’t worry — The American Psychological Association is here to help …

https://on.apa.org/2GOqtzp

“The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful.”

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

“The American Psychological Association is here to help …”

Article written by a woman.

And in a few years they will be writing befuddled articles trying to figure out why even fewer men seek counseling.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Blax

Yeah man.

And the point being J… That little dude who has nothing left to live for is waaaay more dangerous than a thug.

Just look at who is doing all the killing of wives and boyfriends.

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
2 years ago

kfg/OBIT

There was something on Twitter – can’t find it now – where one of the (male) docs who helped prepare the guidelines said the article was a misrepresentation of what the guidelines said about traditional masculinity or something along those lines.

boulderhead
2 years ago

@Sentient

“And the point being J… That little dude who has nothing left to live for is waaaay more dangerous than a thug.

Just look at who is doing all the killing of wives and boyfriends.”

But you would still fuck your best friends wife because she’s in charge,right? LOL. like I said get after it!

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago

O.B.I.T. “The American Psychological Association is here to help …” kfg Article written by a woman. Of course. Because “just trying to help!’ is a shit test. And in a few years they will be writing befuddled articles trying to figure out why even fewer men seek counseling. That will be blamed on “toxic masculinity”. As the number of genuinely masculine men decreases the yowling will just get louder. For lurkers: a man I know with some experience in matters relating to gen-u-wine PTSD once informed a group of men that they should never, ever admit to certain problems in… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

That article by Pappas is quite shallow…she write, “Time diary studies, for example, find that men enjoy caring for their children as much as women do.”

Well, I enjoy caring for my baby granddaughter, it’s true. She’s cute and full of energy and spunk. But someone’s baby whom I am not related to? Nahhh. Otoh, women enjoy doing day care. Men, not so much.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago

Culum There was something on Twitter – can’t find it now – where one of the (male) docs who helped prepare the guidelines said the article was a misrepresentation of what the guidelines said about traditional masculinity or something along those lines. Doesn’t really matter. “We didn’t mean it that way” could be a sincere expression of exasperation, or it could be just butt-covering. Either way the jihad against “toxic masculinity” has been around for a while and we should expect it to get worse, not better. The more SensitiveGuys respond to this kind of shit test with appeasement, the… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

“This document will expire as APA policy in 10 years (2028). Correspondence regarding
the 2018 Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men should be addressed to
the American Psychological Association, Public Interest Directorate, 750 First Street, NE,
Washington, 20002-4242.”

having a bad day
having a bad day
2 years ago

@AR Part of a society-wide “guard dog spinup”? depends on if you are seeing a ‘critical mass’ number of men ‘pushing back’… which push-back then collapses under a larger/harder shit test (on the meta level)… i’m not seeing that, but you might be… what i’m seeing is the meta level equivalent of those two female professors (that kfg brought up a while ago) going lesbian with each other in front of their spouses… and overtly excluding their spouses… in a race to the bottom/plumbing the depths of those male spouses’ acquiescence to their beta/omega-ness… = in my (loose) social circle,… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

Boulder

Not sure what that’s getting at. The point remains – identify risks…

Then you can worry about them or mitigate.

boulderhead
2 years ago

I couldn’t force myself to read this much BS unless it was based on all the facts rather than womens studies. “GUIDELINE 1 Psychologists strive to recognize that masculinities are constructed based on social, cultural, and contextual norms. Rationale Clinician awareness of one’s stereotypes and biases against boys and men is a critical dimension of multicultural competence (Liu, 2005; Mahalik et al., 2012). Understanding the socially constructed nature of masculinity and how it affects boys and men, as well as psychologists, also is an important cultural competency (Levant & Silverstein, 2005; Liu, 2005; Mellinger & Liu, 2006; Sue & Sue,… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

@Sentient

Just a reminder,”identify and mitigate” is the way to go, fuck worry.

j
j
2 years ago

“The point remains – identify risks… Then you can worry about them or mitigate.” I know the risks of fucking someone’s wife. And I’ve already addressed how I will go about mitigating the risks, in my second comment on this page about “being the invisible man, so I can come out unscathed. As you can see here, I’ve got experience with fucking girls under a fake name already: https://imgur.com/a/H7jLKbp Or if I do tell them my real name, and I find out later she’s got a boyfriend/husband, I’ll do the classic “save my name as a different name in your… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

I never fucked a close friends ex wife/gf. I’ve never seen a reason to do stuff like that because there are so many other women out in the wild. Buutttt…. I was raised differently than j, and I never was exposed to internet larping about being a ” cad ” or any of that shit. Evidently no honor among young men. Why even make the distinction that the guy wasn” a close friend ” and then lol at treating him the same as some random dude? For pussy? Really? Probably some 6 at that…. Things I will never do for… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

😂

20-25 years from now you will be shocked and amazed, and it will be too late.

Time is finite for you and everyone.

rugby11
2 years ago
warriorhun
warriorhun
2 years ago

@boulderhead

Thank you for your encouragement, Sir.

My goal for this year is to go forward unafraid, and to be in a better situation at the end of next year than I am now.
It is a solid plan, because in recent years I was stalling: I was at the same place when I started the year than at the year-end.

Gary Centres
Gary Centres
2 years ago

Everything Rollo Tomassi says here is true, men and women have different sexual strategies, it makes sense from a pleasure-seeking/reproductive standpoint that top 20% man would go around having as much sex as I can. However from a societal standpoint, and an aggregate human happiness standpoint, it is only fair that these top 20% of men reign in their carnal desires For the good of mankind. The very term ‘fair’, makes me sound like an angry for what one man stomping his foot on the ground, demanding unearned PUSSY for himself. That man is helpless in a free sexual market,… Read more »

boulderhead
2 years ago

@j

You are to funny,invisible my ass. “Doc whats wrong with my baby?”

“I didn’t want to break it to you but your son,well he he’s invisible sir.”

“He looked ok in the ultrasound,that fn j.”

boulderhead
2 years ago

@warriorhun

“My goal for this year is to go forward unafraid”

That’s my goal also,forward motion is only possible without fear. I just take it one task at a time,first is plan my day then prioritize, write it down and be ready to improvise. Once action begins the rest is easy,each day begins with it’s alotment of energy my job is spend it wisely.

theasdgamer
2 years ago

That was a funny backhanded compliment you wrote. I don’t need Heartiste to validate what I know about maintaining frame, but it doesn’t hurt to get a second voice for confirmation.

Cleaning babies is a continual task to avoid diaper rash (and sores if you fail enough).

(Speaking of shit, there are a lot of young dumbshits around who downvote a solid post because it isn’t about pickup.)

theasdgamer
2 years ago

I want to accomplish my biological purpose in life, the natural way: P-in-V. Fuck this artificial bullshit. BUT, I want to avoid the associated costs of doing so.

I have a course in how to do just that. $5000 for a weekend seminar

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

“..there are a lot of young dumbshits around who downvote a solid post because it isn’t about pickup…” And you know well enough to not attach importance to that. It’s feminine to have a like button without a dislike button. Think about it. I’m glad there is a dislike button. I haven’t been looking at it though. [Vous avez des ennemis? Mais c’est l’histoire de tout homme qui a fait une action grande ou crée une idée neuve. C’est la nuée qui bruit autour de tout ce qui brille. Il faut que la renommé ait des ennemis comme il faut… Read more »

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