Most of my readers are aware of my stand on the myth of male vulnerability. Weakness is not strength, but the Village of the Feminine Imperative, would have us believe that the more a man displays honest signs of vulnerability the more endearing he’ll be to women. The Blue Pill conditions men to believe that crying, or being more emotionally sensitive, or really anything that makes him identify with the feminine in his personal character is a form of this endearing vulnerability that women can (by appealing to equalist reason) be expected to respect in a man. While adopting this mindset may open a man up to ridicule (and unspoken disgust on the part of women), this is not true vulnerability. The Village might try to convince a man he’s being brave by avoiding conventional masculinity, but this emasculating vulnerability is nothing compared to what a man has to lose from real vulnerability.
What I think most men, certainly all Blue Pill men, miss is that the ultimate form of vulnerability a man can engage in is ‘catching feelings’ for, or emotionally investing himself in, any particular woman. And this is especially so if that man’s Blue Pill conditioning makes him oblivious to the risks of that vulnerability.
Nothing leaves a man more vulnerable in life, love, family, career, finances and really power over the direction of his life than to invest himself in a woman. The very act, the very thought, of surrendering his life’s imperative to the trust that a woman wont exercise the unimaginable control and potential for damage she has in his life is a vulnerability no woman will ever recognize or acknowledge; nor will the sacrifices that come from this vulnerability ever be something she has a capacity to appreciate.
Even in the best case scenarios, where a man’s investment is reciprocated, or a somewhat idyllic relationship grows between a man and a woman, such is the state of our modern sexual marketplace that a potential for a man’s ruin still colors that relationship. Our feminine-primary social order has, through legislation and social pretense, made the proposition of any man navigating the sexual marketplace one of inherent vulnerability. Women rarely understand the vulnerability a man is opening himself up to because our social order makes that potential for his harm invisible to her. In fact, if he resists opening himself up to potential ruin he’s considered to be insecure, and this in turn is attributed to his maleness.
I have no doubt there will be women reading this last paragraph and think, “Well, women are putting themselves at risk too, we have to be vulnerable too.” No, you really don’t. Since the beginning of the Sexual Revolution every potential aspect of vulnerability for women in the SMP has been meticulously compensated for, or insured against the worst. Whether that’s the grossly female-weighted divorce and custody laws, or legal abortion, or arbitrary consent laws that only serve women, or the special dispensation for women academically or vocationally, any and all vulnerability risk is mitigated for you. The emotional vulnerability you believe is so costly pales in comparison to the risk and consequences that vulnerability represents to men. Men commonly have more to risk, more to lose and invest more of themselves into that risk proposition.
True vulnerability, the kind that opens you up to life-destroying consequences, is when a man’s idealism for women, despite knowing all the very likely, very destructive, consequences is something he willfully ignores. For a Blue Pill man, his vulnerability is rarely ever recognized. Thanks to his life-long preconditioning he believes in a romanticism that insulates him from ever acknowledging the risks and the all-downside potential of that vulnerability. This obliviousness – keeping a Beta-in Waiting blind – is a primary goal of Blue Pill conditioning.
Women would rather be objectified than idealized. The reason for this really gets back to evolved gender differences; women want a man who other men want to be and other women want to fuck. In other words, women want to be the object of desire of a worthy man. When a man surrenders himself to the primacy of the feminine, when he makes a woman his mental point of origin, when he alters the course of his life to accommodate her, that’s when he ceases to be someone for whom she’ll willingly submit to. When she becomes his center he knowingly surrenders Frame.
It is, however, the innate idealism that predisposes men to outward thinking, to the belief in what could be realized, that also predisposes them to idolizing women on whole and idolizing a woman at once. A man’s idealism makes a lot of things possible for him, but it also puts him at terrible risk with regard to being truly vulnerable. Furthermore, men’s fundamental romantic nature is also attributed to our innate what-is-possible idealism. The Feminine Imperative has used this idealism to its benefit for millennia, but the most common (seemingly sensible) utility of it results in men’s surrender of self to the feminine.
When we read through the romantic poetry of the ages – almost all of it written by men – the most common reoccurring theme is that of a helpless ‘surrender’ to the love a man bears for a woman. From Ovid to Shakespeare to Byron the dialog and sentiment is the same; that of the inherent ‘correctness’ of a man surrendering his soul to the love – requited or not – of a woman. If there is a psychological root to the disorder of ONEitis it can be found in this poetic idealism.
However, there is nothing that makes a man more vulnerable to a woman, to the feminine, than his idealist’s nature. The Feminine Imperative knows this thumbscrew of men. One hallmark of the conditioned Beta mind is an eagerness to put themselves into a state of surrender to the feminine. I go into this a bit in Pre-Whipped:
These are the men I call pre-whipped; men so thoroughly conditioned, men who’ve so internalized that conditioning, that they mentally prepare themselves for total surrender to the Feminine Imperative, that they already make the perfect Beta provider before they even meet the woman to whom they’ll make their sacrifice.
But what should predispose men to so eagerly want this surrender? Certainly there’s an element of a (false) belief in the possibility of a mutual concept of love between that man and a (potential) woman. It’s what he believes should be possible.
What else? There’s the pre-conditioned belief that this surrender is his masculine duty. Countless Blue Pill pastors make a living belaboring the narrative that men can’t be Men until they mold themselves over the course of a lifetime to be a (once convenient) a woman’s ideal. Literally, manhood is denied to him until he surrenders to the feminine.
The Family Alpha made this observation last week:
Many men have given the power over their inner self entirely to the women of their lives.
While I completely agree, what I’m wondering is why this need to surrender self is an intrinsic aspect in men? The majority of men (80% Betas) are pre-whipped to expect a need to surrender to the women in their lives. Their abdication is so matter of fact that it becomes something subconscious for them.
Is this a characteristic that separates Betas from Alphas? I’d like to think so, but then a distinction needs to be made between being a Strong Independent Alpha who lives up to a positive, pro-social, conventionally masculine role (despite a world arrayed against it) and the same who, though still respectively Alpha, surrenders his sense of self to the woman he idolizes.
SFC Ton had a great comment about this surrender:
“Women do not really have more power……The first step is to realize that this is indeed the case. Men cede power. Men are taught to cede power. Men look for opportunities to cede power. Women just take advantage of men’s largess. A man does not have to be full on Alpha to get this, or to use it to his best advantage in life.”
One thing to consider is how much power have men ceded and to what effect. The surrender is real, both individually and socially. Reclaiming the power ceded in that surrender will be fought in many different scopes. In The Family Alpha’s article, the concern is two fold: the ceding of a man’s inner self, the surrender of identity to the approval of the feminine, and what the consequences are for men once they reclaim or recreate an identity apart from what he allowed the feminine to create for him.
This a significant thing to ponder for men. One reason I believe men become so despondent, so nihilistic, after some trauma that shook them into Red Pill awareness is that their identity, their sense of self, was a result of this ceding of power to women. They literally do not know what to make of themselves once they are cut free from that paradigm, but moreover they must confront the fact that who they are now (at the time of their unplugging) is, in large part, due to that self-surrender. Prior to their unplugging this surrender may have been involuntary for them, but still perhaps not. Their vulnerability and the true potential of permanent damage from it is put out in the open for them and others to realize.
It’s easy to think of men having difficulty getting over their Exes as in some way damaged. Family Alpha’s point was to encourage men to get back on the horse and back in the game and be competitive again, and that’s what I believe is most beneficial for these men. I also believe that it does men no service to prolong feeling sorry for themselves, but again, that’s part of the process of recreating a man. The risk then becomes a sort of new surrender wherein men drop out and isolate themselves aways from the system that held them and caused them to believe in, and then confront the consequences of their first vulnerability and surrender to the feminine. Isolation becomes their new form of surrender.
However, it’s also important that they recognize the potential for damage that surrendering, that ceding power, to the feminine represents to them. Red Pill aware men should acknowledge that their real vulnerability will be implied in any relationship they enter into beyond a perfunctory pump & dump. That knowledge should be a source of power that prevents them from overextending themselves once again into surrender to the feminine. They are aware now and that awareness now implies a responsibility to it. It demands that they keep their heads out of the sand and make calculated risks according to that awareness.
Your new Red Pill self has no more excuses of ignorance – your life’s been handed back to you with the full knowledge of the system you’re a part of.
Parents have an “angle” too.
Everyone has motivations in life. Everyone has an angle.
Rocks don’t have a burden of performance, but otherwise pretty much every creature that lives moves and breathes does.
Picking the minutia out of everyone’s personal motivations (looking for an angle, everywhere) is kind of an empty exercise.
Watch the outcomes, and watch what people do.
Burden of performance
I don’t think women seek “Surrender” from Alphas. In fact they hate it when an Alpha starts to show weakness, and then they monkey branch to a new Alpha. They only want their “selected” Betas to “Surrender”, this ensures that the Beta stays loyal and low maintenance, and provides for her and the children. When her “selected” Beta starts to “man up” and tries to hold frame, she doesn’t believe in the change because in her mind he can never be an Alpha. And at this point she will monkey branch to a new Beta.
Women desire to surrender themselves to a worthy Alpha. But they want Betas to surrender to women.
Oscar: “Once they are gone, there will be NO ONE in life I can fully trust.” “You are aware that you are on your own with both men and women. I know this can be seen as BP but I assure you it is not. It is actually even darker than RP because it does incorporate men into the equation as well.” EhIntellect: “Don’t know you well but your words are honest enough. Yeah, you come across BP. That’s not o.k. from a masculinity, freewill standpoint. Fortunately for you, you can change…and fast…” You don’t have faith in yourself to… Read more »
Or live the life in which you get to decide when to surrender parts of your vulnerability
@Eh Thanks for the reply. I am a single child, which I think also explains a big deal. However, despite having spent a lot of time alone as a kid, I have never been socially awkward or shy. About letting go of the idea of your parents as sole form of connection, I am definitely going on that direction. I have talked extensively to them about all these issues and they are at a loss when it comes to help me. I have always told them my problems and fears, never had this adolescent phase of “shutting up” and communicate… Read more »
“-If they look to get laid, they have to be constantly doing an effort to do so.” Show me this world where money throws itself into your pocket and food throws itself into your mouth. Then maybe we can talk about a world where pussy throws itself onto your dick. You keep saying that you have the right mindset, and persistently follow that up by displaying a mindset that is fundamentally and critically broken. “I generally avoid TV and movies because sex is all over the place.” Has it not occurred to your analytical mind that evading sex is a… Read more »
@Eh Oh, and about ““…sexlessness may only be possible to overcome if thought of as a disability.” WTF? Who’s telling you this? Does not compute…does not compute.” I thought of it myself. Like Rollo has often implied, I find those people who make necessity a virtue pathetic. If you can not get something don’t badmouth it, simply learn to live without it. In this particular case it occurred to me that such idea was a good coping mechanism. Of course it should not be your first reaction, was thinking of it as a last-ditch kind of thing, when game and… Read more »
That shit is only ever possible when one decides it’s so.
There is such a thing as unconditional love, but it’s so absolutely rare that most people are unable to identify it.
Mechanical systems fail. Electrical systems fail. Structural systems fail. People never fail until they cease trying, particularly once they buffer themselves into failure.
@kfg I understand the need for work on all spheres of life, but you are making a bad comparison. You don’t have to be toiling hard 24 hours a day to make a decent living. But you have to be gaming your partner all the time if you want to keep her from what I have been reading. Countless times the topic of alphas backsliding into betas and losing everything as a result has come up, and how you can never let go of seeing your wife or partner as somebody who would betray you in a split second given… Read more »
Frustration is not a permanent state, it’s always temporary. Frustration is only a sign that a different approach to an issue is needed. Never allow something like frustration to make you give up. Frustration is an opportunity to gain some knowledge. Take a step back, have a drink of choice, a formulate a different plan of attack.
So “hope for the best, plan for the worst” does not apply? I have always agreed with that.
Sex. Lol…. Sex is indeed ‘ natural ‘ for the most part. Being ‘ good at it ‘ is totally different beast altogether. The first time I encountered a Ferrari V12 that wouldn’t start, I almost panicked when I opened the hood and found many mechanical duplications. 2 distributors??? Wtf??? But in the end this was still just a combustion engine, and that was right up my alley. A full understanding of the mechanics is valuable. It’s the difference between a 300 dollar go kart and a formula 1 car…. That difference shrinks with adequate understanding. You can never, ever,… Read more »
I don’t plan for the ‘ best ‘. I plan for ‘ life ‘, which has ups and downs. I also don’t waste time in ‘ hope ‘. Hope isn’t a strategy.
Yeah I get that, the problem is how you learn. Hollywood (or porn) does not look like a great teacher.
Well that is another way of looking at it for sure.
@Oscar You don’t have to be toiling hard 24 hours a day to make a decent living. But you have to be gaming your partner all the time if you want to keep her from what I have been reading. You don’t have to toil hard 24 hours a day once you’ve achieved unconscious competence at game…it’s fun and easy to play at that point. I wouldn’t say I am uncomfortable about sex, I just have not practiced it enough. Are you uncomfortable about being sexual around a woman? Doing things like appraising her legs and bosom with her watching?… Read more »
…. Demonstrate, don’t explicate.😀
Oscar C. June 23, 2017 at 8:55 am “Talking about weaker aspects, yes, the sexual vibe is one of them. But do you learn that from movies? I honestly doubt it. Their message is pretty BP as well, with happy endings and stuff.” That’s true. But there are a lot of movies that glorify the Alpha. You can watch Don Johnson movies like “Guilty as Sin” and “The Hot Spot”. Also, movies written / directed by Zalman King, my favourite is “Lake Consequence”. If you really want to know what is going on in a woman’s head, start reading the… Read more »
“…simply learn to live without it. In this particular case it occurred to me that such idea was a good coping mechanism.” Oh fuck no!!!! My ears are bleeding!! For all that is holy, stop making it up!! I can’t think of a worse coping mechanism for celibacy. Stop filling in the blanks with whatever makes sense to you. Read the best of TRM. Wow. You don’t know what you don’t know. Fucking is a natural result of understanding the rules of intersexual dynamics and ACTING on them. It’s clear you’re not doing something or doing something wrong. Look, Oscar,… Read more »
Hearing this narrative of ‘ you have to be gaming your ltr/wife ‘ quite a lot. Spoken as if it’s akin to ditch digging.
“You don’t have to be toiling hard 24 hours a day to make a decent living. But you have to be gaming your partner all the time if you want to keep her from what I have been reading.”
Hollywood can be a great teacher if you have the eyes for it. Yul Brynner’s films are great for instruction. Sean Connery’s as well. Just about anything with William Powell in it are good for showing playfulness, especially “Double Wedding,” which also has a lot of Red Pill philosophy about women. Gregory Peck usually shows amazing nonverbal communication in his films. “McClintock” is a take off on “The Taming of the Shrew”. John Wayne’s nonverbal communication is striking.
@theasdgamer Depends of the place. In a cafe probably no. In a night bar or club, after talking for a moment, I think I could do it. Would probably be a bit lame. I always saw catcalling as improper and low class, maybe that’s my problem. I recall being in high school and having pals who were very flirty with some girls, including some physical contact here and there… but they did have little success. The ones who were rumoured to have it appeared far less aggressive, so I guess I interiorized that sensuality was not that important. Also, aren’t… Read more »
Will take a look, thanks. I think the whole 50 Shades phenomenon has red-pilled or at least party awaked more than a dude out there.
Thanks for the movie suggestions, I have saved it.
good god, this is getting to more of a grade-A trolling than a fruitful discussion of RP and/or the topic of the post
when things start degrading into hair-splitting definitions, push-back on every little detail and pedantic/semantic gyrations, it’s a good sign progress is halted and major buffering to the acceptance of truth is happening
Yes, I feel I am my own worst enemy sometimes. Speaking of Gamma, I went to Vox Day’s blog to look up his definition of it and I came across this remark from one of his readers:
“A Gamma’s ego is huge and incredibly fragile, and a loss of face is almost a loss of personhood for them.”
This is (was) me. Very proud on certain key issues. I care less about myself now but I totally relate to this pithy description. Not so much with other alleged Gamma characteristics (always wanting to be right, opinionated, etc).
@ Oscar C: You are welcome, also watch “Glengarry Glen Ross”. The movie has nothing to do with women or GAME. However, Al Pacino’s character is pure Alpha, a fast talker, aloof and a bit Machiavellian. If you can carry yourself like that all the time (unconscious competence), it will help a lot in your interactions with women.
Will do. I have always liked Al Pacino movies. Thanks again.
I don’t get why people think 50 shades is red-pilling anyone. All it is is an excuse of female nature and it’s excesses. It’s literally all about a woman setting up her playground. And stupid fucking guys think they want to be Christian Grey.
No one wonders how the bitch that groomed him gets to take credit for making him a billionaire?
Or how it just takes a Dakota Fanning Afterthought to “heal” what some other bitch started?
I guess women don’t care about abusing your(her) children if they think it’ll make them billionaires.
Depends of the place. In a cafe probably no.
Let’s say that you approach a girl and talk to her for two minutes. Why is it so hard to briefly glance at her legs?
In a night bar or club, after talking for a moment, I think I could do it. Would probably be a bit lame.
Why? It’s never lame when I do it and I don’t even think about doing it…I just do it. Try it with an amused mastery smile.
The picture is brilliant. It brought a tear to my eye. Men are the ones who start the fires that keep everyone else warm, and then they are discarded like spent matches. Like someone put it in some previous comment: “It is assumed that a man who has earned some wealth should sooner disappear from the picture to allow his wife and children celebrate his wealth in peace.” My heart goes out to those match stick guys.
Great article too.
@YC: “All it is is an excuse of female nature and it’s excesses.”
That is why.
You should check out an old TV show called Banacek. He’s a Red Pill Alpha who never loses frame. You can find the show on Netflix (DVD only).
@YC: Talking of 50 Shades of Grey, a friend of mine was having issues with his feral wife. She always complained that he does not “man up”. He watched 50 Shades and tried BDMS with his wife. She hated it and said it was disgusting. He was already a Beta in her eyes and she could not accept him dominating her. One evening he catches her flirting with another man in a Pub (she told him that she had to “work” late). After a heated argument he slapped her in front of her friends and 30+ people in the Pub.… Read more »
@ Oscar ” Depends of the place. In a cafe probably no. In a night bar or club, after talking for a moment, I think I could do it. Would probably be a bit lame. I always saw catcalling as improper and low class, maybe that’s my problem. Please, explain how looking at a woman while she is completely aware that you are looking is ” lame “. Ditto for ” catcalling “, why is it improper, and what’s ” proper ” in your mind? Low class? Lol, we are talking about women here, right? What is low class ?… Read more »
“I’m having a really hard time getting what you mean.”
He’s probably referring to Commandment 10: Ignore her beauty
@ j ” He’s probably referring to Commandment 10: Ignore her beauty ” Yeah, I get the poon commandment thing, but I’m trying to get at what Oscar thinks. I’m 100% anti-pedestalization, and having fucked up inner dialog about how ” hawt ” a chick is. But I can’t grasp what Oscar is actually talking about… where he’s coming from. He seems to be waiting for sex to just materialize out of nowhere, and magically escalate to some kind of earth shattering experience for the both of them through… idk… osmosis? @ Oscar So what is it that you say… Read more »
Since the whole dadbod bs seems to be circulating again, here is a funny video on this topic
@Incubus Your friend’s a Beta. But you knew that. He was playing the whole thing by the bitch’s rules. Even the slapping. He wasn’t fighting her disrespect of him. He was fighting for anything he could get. He didn’t nuke the relationship. He stayed. Forever a bitch. He probably thought imitating Christian Grey was his duty as a man in order to fulfill his “burden of performance”. I got news for anyone that thinks Christian Grey is a role model. He’s not. He’s a victim of abuse, and a masterwork of the “build a better beta” recipe for destruction. A… Read more »
@ Incubus Rising Dominate. Always. When that stupid shit 50 shades came out, I was surrounded at the time by a dozen young females that were going off the rails reading it and talking about it. Especially chicks between 25 – 30. Awalt – all women want to be dominated by a man. The only difference is by degrees. The only exceptions to this rule are women that were sexually/physically abused and highly feministic types who have convinced themselves that their biology betrays them in some fashion. But it’s not that easy to be with a woman, spreading rose pedals… Read more »
Damn, pic posting fail.
@Oscar C. “this game thing really does become a sort of full-time job” You don’t need to go full pro PUA. If you do 2-3 approaches per day and as many as you can when you go out on a weekend or something, that’s ~1,000 in a year from now. Have you done so many since the day you were born? I know I hadn’t. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvfmnP_emtY&w=854&h=480%5D ” I am still living with my parents (which is normal here in Spain for young adults and does not really prevent others from dating)” lol same situation in my country. “For the… Read more »
Women th to get alpha to surrender. If he does he’s a yucky beta. If he don’t he’s a man
It’s called a shit test and well covered here and else where but crush enough shit tests and they pretty much go away.
“Please, explain how looking at a woman while she is completely aware that you are looking is ” lame “. Ditto for ” catcalling “, why is it improper, and what’s ” proper ” in your mind?”
That is the perfect moment to let your gaze move from her legs to her eyes. Objectify her right then and then. Then give a small smirk and walk the fuck away without a word.
” That is the perfect moment to let your gaze move from her legs to her eyes. Objectify her right then and then. Then give a small smirk and walk the fuck away without a word.”
^^^^ This right here. So much so.
Once at a backyard cookout, a woman asked me something like ” what’s your feeling about sex toys?” and without missing a beat my wife said ” he’s very, very fond of me “.
Well, if you meant checking her out visually, I don’t find that hard, I would say I have done it before. I am a bit uneasier when you are supposed to touch her, not really nervous but sort of lost.
“I am a bit uneasier when you are supposed to touch her, not really nervous but sort of lost.”
Just saw a hot chick inner dialog…… it should bever be damn look at here
It’s more like
I’d let her suck my cock if she brought 2 more girls
Stop giving a fuck how hot she is. Start living like a legend and that shit will fall in place
@ Blaximus Re: ditch digging, gaming the wife. “What’s the point of marriage if you still have to work for it?” My esrtwhile sloppy frame made my marriage unwieldy, complicated. A well gamed marriage is simple, comprehensible, happier, sexual for both involved. That’s a fact. Don’t want to start an internecine battle, we’re all here for different reasons. IMO, a RP marriage is as fruitful, beneficial for all affected. Kids are fun too. I could go all Penthouse forum how it’s helped me; y’all get the idea. The number one question posed to Mrs. Eh when we’re out: “How long… Read more »
Missed this: Related: A wealthy coworker’s wife years back wanted to adopt. They decide to purchase a couple Ethiopian orphans. Trendy at the time. Coworker creates a “Why to adopt these kids” pro/con list. He left it out in workroom. I read it.
Of all the pro’s this one stood out: “My adopted black child will shield me from allegations of racism.”
Interpretation: “My children are tools of my positive social proof.”
I never respected that guy personally again.
I got busted looking down this girls shirt today. She gave me a big ol shit eating grin, i winked and we went about our day.
Women are sex objects. Treat like such
@Mike “Stop kidding yourself and this poor Incel dude. This YouTube vid shows a young, handsome and athletic dude who seems very confident. And now you wonder why he is getting chicks like a natural? I don’t need a video to explain that.” I suggested he watches the whole product of that dude. Unfortunatelly, I can only copy/paste the youtube videos here. His program starts with very basic things. Anybody can follow the small missions and disensitize himself and learn game to a very good level. You say he looks good. OK. Go to idose and torrent rsd tyler’s hotseat… Read more »
A “technical” question: is there a way to search for the comments of one poster only in this blog? If yes, how?
@Ton I got busted looking down this girls shirt today. She gave me a big ol shit eating grin, i winked and we went about our day. Women are sex objects. Treat like such Wink…trigger word I was on a road trip with Mrs. Gamer and we had stopped in this shitty little gas station diner in a tiny mountain town in bama where they make a great burger…a hot blonde was the short order cook, but she was literally sweating because it was so hot in the kitchen…not barefoot or pregnant, lol…anyway there was a couple who was hanging… Read more »
@Anon01 Thanks again, I have done a couple of approaches already. Asked for the time, tried to talk a bit more. Felt good. I will look into those materials you suggest; the part about not having my own place interests me because I feel it is a serious handicap. @ j Thanks for the reddit link. @Blaximus Well, being a single child my parents made a very conscious effort not to spoil me, and that included what I would call a bit higher standard of discipline compared with kids of my generation. Can’t really complain because it makes sense, but… Read more »
What works is spontaneity.It is how she expects sex to happen.
I find it interesting that with all the noise of social conventions and with feminism poisoning the well, old human knowledge gets filtered out until Rollo, Blaximus, Sentient and Kfg, et.al come and take the filters off. I’m still slogging through Transurfing Reality and just come across this paragraph, knowning the author never colluded with original distilled thoughts on TRM. Which makes them at least semi-uniniversal but powerful prose. Me personally, I use this abstract knowledge to reverse engineer everything I did right as an autodidact in intersexual relationship game (no one ever instructed me before I came to red… Read more »
Is that book really good? What would you say is a very important insight that book has given you?
Further up the thread is a discussion of height. Does it matter? Quite a few physical attributes will attract positive attention, but they never replace solid game. For a little self disclosure, I’m 6′ 4″, 190lbs, full head of hair, 46yrs old, and dress like I give a shit. A woman has never told me “you’re too tall”, but I have heard them ridicule guys for being shorter than them. If they criticize me, it’s for my age. Usually, I take the agree and amplify route, and get a laugh out of them. Just like height, can’t do shit about… Read more »
Has it occurred to you that most of what we men are talking about in some way has to do with addictions (oxytocin, booze, etc.) and confusion about basic reality? None of these problems easily solved by logic/reason.
A woman has never told me “you’re too tall”, but I have heard them ridicule guys for being shorter than them.
…because those guys were unattractive…their being short was just something to tag the ridicule on…if those guys had been short and attractive, then those guys would have appeared taller to the girls…believe what girls do, not what they say
@Edelweiss I get the same play. First, forget the work chicks. The only way I engage is if they bring non-work GFs to a happy hour or other outside-work social event. The GFs/friends are fair game. Next, I don’t explain (aka explicate) that I will not be tied down (aka provider). I display through my lifestyle. Young women constantly see me alone with other young women — many of whom are my friends and are in LTRs and are married. But they don’t know that. I don’t isolate them (such as inviting them one-on-one to dinners) and I engage in… Read more »
@ Yollo Comanche In truth, it is fantastic. But only in context. It’s just a model of mindset and perception of the red pill world in a world consumed by the Matrix. The more I realize ‘what we all know is going on here’, is that in the comments section here, there is a massive divide between those competent and those incompetent in Mastery. Some of you might be sick of the word Mastery, but we can’t have a discussion without the Elephant in the Room. The process of Mastery is fundamental to the Red Pill and masculine self improvement… Read more »
@SJF wrote “It’s not just having thoughts about what they want. It’s about visualizing what actions they are going to take to realize their goals. Big difference.” This. I would wager most of the guys struggling have not seriously determined defining what their life path is that is completely independent of P-in-V and intersexual relationships. The two core questions you must ask yourself are: 1. Where am I going with my life? 2. Who is going with me? One of the major issues I have with PUAs, especially the ones with no define career trajectories and who don’t even realize… Read more »
Dopamine is the highly addictive pleasure chemical.
Oxytocin is used to fight addiction. And it’s the longterm happiness chemical.
@ Ajax Parallax I get that work women should be avoided, and it could be playing with fire. The minuses are (as I see them) that she could look for revenge if shit doesn’t go her way, and potentially cause problems with my job. She could trash talk, etc. On the plus side, I don’t work in a small dept., or anything like that. There are hundreds of employees working at any given time, and my job has me going to a variety of areas. It’s almost impossible to ignore the opportunities. Here’s a sample of the comments I’ve gotten… Read more »
– “why haven’t we gone on a date yet?”
-I notice a man taking a picture of me on his phone. Me-“why are you taking a picture of me?” Him-“because you’re a hot piece of ass”.
– “my girlfriend is boring, you know what? We should go somewhere together”
– “you must be used to everyone trying to get in your panties”
Get thee to the HR dept. post haste. You are in a hostile work environment!
Sorry, couldn’t resist. Lol. Double standards *shakes head*
@anon Oxytocin and vasopressin are involved in bonding for men. Once bonded, distance from the mate leads to the release of cortisol. A crush is a type of bonding and being deprived of the sight of one’s crush can lead to unpleasant feelings due to cortisol. Oxytocin (not oxycontin) is an opioid produced by the body (I mention this for the readers) and is very addictive when it is tied to a mate. Opioids like morphine affect the oxytocin pathways. Oxytocin is great as a mood-altering drug since it counteracts cortisol, which causes stress and depression. When a person is ABOUT… Read more »
“I’m not saying it’s admirable or even correct. I’m just saying it works. I can look a woman in the eyes and tell her I love her without a shred of dishonesty, because I know for a fact that when she says that to me, she means.. “at this moment in time”. Great. So that’s the new definition. I’m totally down with that. Love without the eternal sacrifice. Love without capitulation. Love without implied permanence. It’s not such a bad way to love, for a post-family man like me.” Tuff luv, Excellent comment! You’ve solidified and perfectly articulated a template… Read more »
“My difficulty isn’t attracting young women, it’s staying out of provider status in their eyes.
To the guys out there that have come up with strategies for this, what are your thoughts?”
@Edelweiss You raise an issue really worth dissecting further. A girl is all wet-panties-crazy-fuck-mi-now until she sees the merc the next day and she flips to; “Baby can I have this/baby can I have that?” Resources are a curse. I went out once in some seedy club and the women thought I was a beach boy (“beach boys” as it applies in the third world where I come from are gigolo type guys who prey on western women tourists at the beach to get their money in exchange for sex). When we were through clubing and I was leaving with… Read more »
I haven’t been mistaken for a “provider”, but I do look kind of young for my age (44). When women ask, I tell them to guess. They’re usually about 6-10 years under. I’ll say “yeah, OK, I’m happy to be 36.” They’ll press some more but I just refuse to tell them. (Sometimes for hours; once, for months). If I feel like relenting (i.e. ZFG) I’ll tell them I’m 49 (or more). And then drop a comment that I’m yet to meet a woman who can keep up with me in bed.
“Even animals get this.
Mentioned example is not applicable for comparison to humans.
Otherwise one might quote black widow on the other end of the evolutionary spectrum.
Black widow mating tangentially condones cuckolding.
If its pretty good enough for black widow its good enough for humans /sarc.
[…] has a really interesting post this week on the topic of men surrendering themselves to […]
“Once at a backyard cookout, a woman asked me something like ” what’s your feeling about sex toys?” and without missing a beat my wife said ” he’s very, very fond of me “.
Priceless humor! About spilled my coffee enjoying that. It also says a lot about the dynamic between you and your wife. Kudos
You must mean the book called Ruler of Reality, right? Reality Transurfing is just what the author does. He has a number of them and I really want the most “nuts and bolts” one I can get. This seems to be the right one, correct?
“Oxytocin is great as a mood-altering drug since it counteracts cortisol, which causes stress and depression. When a person is ABOUT to experience pleasure, dopamine is released in the brain, and in the parts of the brain that experience and process pleasure. Dopamine’s role here is NOT that it makes you feel good. It doesn’t – the pleasure and hedonic or euphoria feeling comes from opioids in the brain https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201701/no-dopamine-is-not-addictive The article’s title does not support the content. It might indicate that dopamine isn’t tied into the actual pleasure, but it states clearly that it is part and parcel to… Read more »
Oxytocin doesn’t bond women to men
Can one have too much oxytocin? Sure…but it would be a LOT. there’s a disorder where people have too much trust and walk around with a shit-eating grin telling everyone they “love” them. But that’s a serious imbalance.
The Dark Side of Oxytocin
Where does the article state that dopamine is part of the craving? Remove dopamine and you get the same hedonistic pleasure. Dopamine doesn’t create incentive salience. Dopamine is a bread and butter neurotransmitter. The key to craving is the oxytocin pathways, not dopamine. Dopamine may have a role in encouraging neuronic connections which may trigger the release of oxytocin. Dopamine may facilitate developing a crush based upon viewing a particular face, for example. Once the crush exists, dopamine has no special role–it’s all oxytocin.
@anon I wasn’t arguing that most people have a problem with too much oxytocin generally, but that it’s against men’s interests for their oxytocin level to be dependent upon their mate–a specific case. Oxytocin can have a role in a man being bonded to multiple mates/potential mates. E.g., he has a LTR and develops a crush on another woman. I’m sure I tend to not have a high oxytocin level because autism. I get along Ok and most men can function just fine when somewhat unhappy. With oxytocin being released when hugging, I recognize that I sometimes feel a bond… Read more »
“Where does the article state that dopamine is part of the craving?”
I bolded it.
“Remove dopamine and you get the same hedonistic pleasure.”
Pleasure (over the longterm) isn’t a necessary component for the craving.
Once established, the craving remains even when the pleasurable payback diminishes. That is the essence of what addiction is. Craving is DESIRE for the thing (product, action, ect). This is why dopamine plays a role in OCDs. Checking the stove 20 times to see if it’s on isn’t typically a pleasurable activity.
“I wasn’t arguing that most people have a problem with too much oxytocin generally, but that it’s against men’s interests for their oxytocin level to be dependent upon their mate–a specific case. Oxytocin can have a role in a man being bonded to multiple mates/potential mates. E.g., he has a LTR and develops a crush on another woman. I’m sure I tend to not have a high oxytocin level because autism. I get along Ok and most men can function just fine when somewhat unhappy.” Fair enough…but your autism might make you notice the effects more. Just as I notice… Read more »
“Can one have too much oxytocin? Sure…but it would be a LOT. there’s a disorder where people have too much trust and walk around with a shit-eating grin telling everyone they “love” them. But that’s a serious imbalance.”
If someone’s life is awesome and they have a conceal and carry permit in case a jealous bitch wants to fuck up his day, is this really an imbalance?
Mastery. It’s not just having thoughts about what they want. It’s about visualizing what actions they are going to take to realize their goals. A common denominator among sports champions. Everyone wants to win but the champions continuously visualize the actions they are going to take. They train hard physically, but also run the upcoming race or play the game in their heads many times beforehand. I’ll put my front tires here in turn two and if somebody slides I’ll go there. If this happens I’ll do that, then make the free throw, etc. They win the event before it’s… Read more »
@Yollo No. Not Ruler of Reality Reality Transurfing. Steps I-V Kindle Edition by Vadim Zeland The term Transurfing has been created by the author and is the name of methodology of creating reality at your will and to your liking. Vadim Zeland says you are capable of influencing the course of your life and gives a scientific explanation of the laws that help you do this. The author builds up a scientific model, and speaks in detail about particular rules you should follow, providing a lot of interesting examples. The book introduces a system of specific terms, notions, and metaphors,… Read more »
Tuffluv’s post upstream really stands out as a great red pill aware post. For all the angst he had in relationship game two to five years ago, he’s put that all aside. It’s a great example of the man being his own mental point of origin, no matter how fickle (changing frequently, especially as regards one’s loyalties, interests, or affection) his woman is/are. https://therationalmale.com/2017/06/20/surrender/comment-page-2/#comment-203221 In this seminal (heheh) post he puts down in words that he is not afraid to go the distance emotionally with a girl. Because he has harmony between his heart/soul and his conscious mind. He capitalizes… Read more »
[…] Surrender on Rational Male […]
@Oscar C. Your in Spain? I’ve been(Rota. 24 other countries aswell) gaming girls is a different struggle there. Tighter social circles(classism). Conflicting social agendas and quite the fluctuant unemployment crisis. Day game is you’re freind. Plausible deniability is her freind. I hate to hear your dilemma man. Seems like you have a self defeating out look on life when it comes to women. Its creating a negative feedback loop. You have to break the loop. When I was in Germany for a festival, I was running in and out of brothels just so i could bust some nuts. 2 of… Read more »
“Seems like you have a self defeating out look on life when it comes to women. Its creating a negative feedback loop. You have to break the loop. RE negative feedback loops: Gumption traps https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/24/please-breakup-with-me/comment-page-8/#comment-176130 A concise guide backed by science and principles of neuroplasticity on how to develop talent: https://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Talent-Improving-Skills/dp/034553025X/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 “The Little Book of Talent should be given to every graduate at commencement . . . a guidebook—beautiful in its simplicity and backed by hard science—for nurturing excellence.”—Charles Duhigg, bestselling author of The Power of Habit “It’s so juvenile to throw around hyperbolic terms such as ‘life-changing,’ but there’s… Read more »
@Rollo AWESOME POST and Dope ass picture! I got it soon as i saw it. As Men we just get burned the fuck out. Its like moving mountains. “Burden of Performance”. Even God rested on the Seventh Day. He got itritated… Alot. Even hard “NEXT” humanity with the exception of Noah’s family. Never gave up though. I could use a bunch of different religous comparisons but I’m a Christian so… that’s where i pull from. I personally get burned out. Its a little different than allot of what i read in the manosphere but it’s the same exhaustion with futility.… Read more »
“….She wasn’t idealizing her power over males, it was REAL..”
Her power was over some uniformed males. 300 pound landwhales also have a form of power over some males.
It’s not her, it’s them. She doesn’t actually posses any power outside of that which some men voluntarily cede to her.
” There is no frame to hold agianst lucifers daughter, she is merely an agent of chaos and i understand that but ill be damned if there are not alot of her acolytes spawning everywhere. Far more than what men want to admit exist. ” Lol, women can’t foment any chaos without the help of males. Women are pretty much helpless totally on their own. Imagine what would happen if all men vanished off of earth tomorrow? In 2 decades, what would the female death toll be? Think about that. Hard. They aren’t daughters of Lucifer at all. They are… Read more »
I attended a fight back in the 80’s, and on this particular night, this happened – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuaFIRD7_5Y&w=854&h=480%5D At the time, Mike Tyson was called ” The Baddest Man on the Planet ” and he was eating heavyweights for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He was undisputed and undefeated. I had an occasion where I’d spent a few hours with Michael Spinks, but even though I had a dozen questions about the fight above, I didn’t ask him one. There was no explanation needed. In an interview once, Mike Tyson commented that when he knocked Spinks down the first time, Spinks… Read more »