Surrender

Most of my readers are aware of my stand on the myth of male vulnerability. Weakness is not strength, but the Village of the Feminine Imperative, would have us believe that the more a man displays honest signs of vulnerability the more endearing he’ll be to women. The Blue Pill conditions men to believe that crying, or being more emotionally sensitive, or really anything that makes him identify with the feminine in his personal character is a form of this endearing vulnerability that women can (by appealing to equalist reason) be expected to respect in a man. While adopting this mindset may open a man up to ridicule (and unspoken disgust on the part of women), this is not true vulnerability. The Village might try to convince a man he’s being brave by avoiding conventional masculinity, but this emasculating vulnerability is nothing compared to what a man has to lose from real vulnerability.

What I think most men, certainly all Blue Pill men, miss is that the ultimate form of vulnerability a man can engage in is ‘catching feelings’ for, or emotionally investing himself in, any particular woman. And this is especially so if that man’s Blue Pill conditioning makes him oblivious to the risks of that vulnerability.

Nothing leaves a man more vulnerable in life, love, family, career, finances and really power over the direction of his life than to invest himself in a woman. The very act, the very thought, of surrendering his life’s imperative to the trust that a woman wont exercise the unimaginable control and potential for damage she has in his life is a vulnerability no woman will ever recognize or acknowledge; nor will the sacrifices that come from this vulnerability ever be something she has a capacity to appreciate.

Even in the best case scenarios, where a man’s investment is reciprocated, or a somewhat idyllic relationship grows between a man and a woman, such is the state of our modern sexual marketplace that a potential for a man’s ruin still colors that relationship. Our feminine-primary social order has, through legislation and social pretense, made the proposition of any man navigating the sexual marketplace one of inherent vulnerability. Women rarely understand the vulnerability a man is opening himself up to because our social order makes that potential for his harm invisible to her. In fact, if he resists opening himself up to potential ruin he’s considered to be insecure, and this in turn is attributed to his maleness.

I have no doubt there will be women reading this last paragraph and think, “Well, women are putting themselves at risk too, we have to be vulnerable too.” No, you really don’t. Since the beginning of the Sexual Revolution every potential aspect of vulnerability for women in the SMP has been meticulously compensated for, or insured against the worst. Whether that’s the grossly female-weighted divorce and custody laws, or legal abortion, or arbitrary consent laws that only serve women, or the special dispensation for women academically or vocationally, any and all vulnerability risk is mitigated for you. The emotional vulnerability you believe is so costly pales in comparison to the risk and consequences that vulnerability represents to men. Men commonly have more to risk, more to lose and invest more of themselves into that risk proposition.

True vulnerability, the kind that opens you up to life-destroying consequences, is when a man’s idealism for women, despite knowing all the very likely, very destructive, consequences is something he willfully ignores. For a Blue Pill man, his vulnerability is rarely ever recognized. Thanks to his life-long preconditioning he believes in a romanticism that insulates him from ever acknowledging the risks and the all-downside potential of that vulnerability. This obliviousness – keeping a Beta-in Waiting blind – is a primary goal of Blue Pill conditioning.

Idealizing Surrender

Women would rather be objectified than idealized. The reason for this really gets back to evolved gender differences; women want a man who other men want to be and other women want to fuck. In other words, women want to be the object of desire of a worthy man. When a man surrenders himself to the primacy of the feminine, when he makes a woman his mental point of origin, when he alters the course of his life to accommodate her, that’s when he ceases to be someone for whom she’ll willingly submit to. When she becomes his center he knowingly surrenders Frame.

It is, however, the innate idealism that predisposes men to outward thinking, to the belief in what could be realized, that also predisposes them to idolizing women on whole and idolizing a woman at once. A man’s idealism makes a lot of things possible for him, but it also puts him at terrible risk with regard to being truly vulnerable. Furthermore, men’s fundamental romantic nature is also attributed to our innate what-is-possible idealism. The Feminine Imperative has used this idealism to its benefit for millennia, but the most common (seemingly sensible) utility of it results in men’s surrender of self to the feminine.

When we read through the romantic poetry of the ages – almost all of it written by men – the most common reoccurring theme is that of a helpless ‘surrender’ to the love a man bears for a woman. From Ovid to Shakespeare to Byron the dialog and sentiment is the same; that of the inherent ‘correctness’ of a man surrendering his soul to the love – requited or not – of a woman. If there is a psychological root to the disorder of ONEitis it can be found in this poetic idealism.

However, there is nothing that makes a man more vulnerable to a woman, to the feminine, than his idealist’s nature. The Feminine Imperative knows this thumbscrew of men. One hallmark of the conditioned Beta mind is an eagerness to put themselves into a state of surrender to the feminine. I go into this a bit in Pre-Whipped:

These are the men I call pre-whipped; men so thoroughly conditioned, men who’ve so internalized that conditioning, that they mentally prepare themselves for total surrender to the Feminine Imperative, that they already make the perfect Beta provider before they even meet the woman to whom they’ll make their sacrifice.

But what should predispose men to so eagerly want this surrender? Certainly there’s an element of a (false) belief in the possibility of a mutual concept of love between that man and a (potential) woman. It’s what he believes should be possible.

What else? There’s the pre-conditioned belief that this surrender is his masculine duty. Countless Blue Pill pastors make a living belaboring the narrative that men can’t be Men until they mold themselves over the course of a lifetime to be a (once convenient) a woman’s ideal. Literally, manhood is denied to him until he surrenders to the feminine.

The Family Alpha made this observation last week:

Many men have given the power over their inner self entirely to the women of their lives.

While I completely agree, what I’m wondering is why this need to surrender self is an intrinsic aspect in men? The majority of men (80% Betas) are pre-whipped to expect a need to surrender to the women in their lives. Their abdication is so matter of fact that it becomes something subconscious for them.

Is this a characteristic that separates Betas from Alphas? I’d like to think so, but then a distinction needs to be made between being a Strong Independent Alpha who lives up to a positive, pro-social, conventionally masculine role (despite a world arrayed against it) and the same who, though still respectively Alpha, surrenders his sense of self to the woman he idolizes.

SFC Ton had a great comment about this surrender:

“Women do not really have more power……The first step is to realize that this is indeed the case. Men cede power. Men are taught to cede power. Men look for opportunities to cede power. Women just take advantage of men’s largess. A man does not have to be full on Alpha to get this, or to use it to his best advantage in life.”

One thing to consider is how much power have men ceded and to what effect. The surrender is real, both individually and socially. Reclaiming the power ceded in that surrender will be fought in many different scopes. In The Family Alpha’s article, the concern is two fold: the ceding of a man’s inner self, the surrender of identity to the approval of the feminine, and what the consequences are for men once they reclaim or recreate an identity apart from what he allowed the feminine to create for him.

This a significant thing to ponder for men. One reason I believe men become so despondent, so nihilistic, after some trauma that shook them into Red Pill awareness is that their identity, their sense of self, was a result of this ceding of power to women. They literally do not know what to make of themselves once they are cut free from that paradigm, but moreover they must confront the fact that who they are now (at the time of their unplugging) is, in large part, due to that self-surrender. Prior to their unplugging this surrender may have been involuntary for them, but still perhaps not. Their vulnerability and the true potential of permanent damage from it is put out in the open for them and others to realize.

It’s easy to think of men having difficulty getting over their Exes as in some way damaged. Family Alpha’s point was to encourage men to get back on the horse and back in the game and be competitive again, and that’s what I believe is most beneficial for these men. I also believe that it does men no service to prolong feeling sorry for themselves, but again, that’s part of the process of recreating a man. The risk then becomes a sort of new surrender wherein men drop out and isolate themselves aways from the system that held them and caused them to believe in, and then confront the consequences of their first vulnerability and surrender to the feminine. Isolation becomes their new form of surrender.

However, it’s also important that they recognize the potential for damage that surrendering, that ceding power, to the feminine represents to them. Red Pill aware men should acknowledge that their real vulnerability will be implied in any relationship they enter into beyond a perfunctory pump & dump. That knowledge should be a source of power that prevents them from overextending themselves once again into surrender to the feminine. They are aware now and that awareness now implies a responsibility to it. It demands that they keep their heads out of the sand and make calculated risks according to that awareness.

Your new Red Pill self has no more excuses of ignorance – your life’s been handed back to you with the full knowledge of the system you’re a part of.

No surrender.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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anon
anon
2 years ago

“I find it troubling that the platoon obstructed the investigation.”

ROFLOL

anon
anon
2 years ago

If-I-Fell, just reading that one sentence I would question your decisions on all matters.

Even the leader who ordered the investigation (assuming he is any real leader at all) doesn’t want them to find anything. He had no option but to investigate, and if they find something he would have to do something….and whatever he would do would harm the unit.

anon
anon
2 years ago

“Strange that one of the ladies refers to her hubby as “The Lion”.

Maybe she wants you to call her a cougar.
Cougar being a mtn lion.

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
2 years ago

The point was the gamma rage response to commit murder. The wronged man from Ton’s description was already in the process of divorcing his unfaithful wife. We have had similar arguments concerning SJWs wanting the death penalty for rapists. The argument against is that the death penalty is not a proportional response to the crime. @ Blaximus My dad always preached the wisdom of keeping it zipped. @ Cheupez I believe that Rollo’s essay clearly establish that Alpha/Beta and Red Pill/Blue Pill are independent concepts. He has made the point that a man may perform acts of unbelievable heroism on… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

“Also, since when is it not, even in the case of marital infidelity, considered an act of extreme cowardice to shoot a man in the back?”

Extreme or not, he’s still dead. Sex is powerful, The law be damned.

Two points to Dalrock’s Titanic post:

1. Ride or die girls exist.

2. Overvaluing women’s lives killed a lot more passengers.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

If-I-Fell

Fight on!

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Death penalty? Lol. What I do know for an absolute fact is that if a man, any man, commits the ” crime ” of breaking into my home and property, it’s pretty much guaranteed that a death sentence will be carried out against him. That’s why I have an alarm system. I’m trying to give the criminal a moment to save his life. @ If Question for you out of my own curiosity – have you ever been involved in any kind of serious violence, where ‘ serious ‘ means somebody is going to the ICU or the morgue? There… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

@If “Also, since when is it not, even in the case of marital infidelity, considered an act of extreme cowardice to shoot a man in the back?” I used to think that way, back when I was 12. If I had an overwhelming urge to kill someone very dangerous–say in self defense where I knew they planned to kill me, I’d do it by surprise, having isolated them, in the back. I’d do my best to make sure they had no chance. But I’m a sneaky fucker. I have zero fucks to give if anyone thinks I’m a coward. Loading...

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

On sex, murder, vengeance, the law, justice, brotherhood: Drew: IT IS A MATTER OF THE LAW! Lewis: The law? Ha! The law?! What law?! Where’s the law, Drew? Huh? You believe in democracy, don’t ya? Drew: Yes, I do. Lewis: Well then, we’ll take a vote. I’ll stand by it and so will you. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwigsd3UpePUAhVK6IMKHb42BkkQtwIIPTAE&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DiBSRk-DbhRw&usg=AFQjCNFQwLrJ82awQu4tl2xfE7BvzRmRuw When your life is on the line…shoot first…fuck cowardice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy7lFghO6AE On cowardice…term’s used routinely after suicide bombings, knifing, mall shootings. http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/london-bridge-attack/london-s-mayor-says-we-will-never-let-these-cowards-n768001 It’s a term used to keep us defenseless, duped to a “strength of ideas” over strength through killing your enemy. Loading...

dr zipper
dr zipper
2 years ago

Does the oft-quoted, overused saying “All is fair and love and war” apply here? Anything else is based on trust.

And that’s the rub… this ‘trust’ may or may not be explicitly known by all parties. Remember those ‘implied (social) contracts’ where one party doesn’t necessarily know they’re in a contract of sorts? People have all kinds of expectations of others, with varying degrees of validity.

So context is king on these subjective matters. To me, there is no *right* answer… just one of those things in life.

anon
anon
2 years ago

“since when is it not considered an act of extreme cowardice to shoot a man in the back?” When he’s the type of guy whom you’d never say that to his face. “Agree and amplify—I think the whole platoon was ruined no matter the course of action.” Their job is to watch each other’s back when shit hits the fan. Their lives all depend on a bond of trust in life and death, really exigent conditions. The guy who violated that trust in a very personal way is gone and everyone else in that group has kept the trust. Sounds… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

Agree. It ain’t really about her.

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

“The bushmaster isn’t for squirrels.”

Right. It’s for prairie dogs.

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

@If-I-Fell:

Babe Ruth never argued that the wall should be closer and shorter.

cheupez
2 years ago

@If-I-Fell Rollo has given me an understanding of inter-gender dynamics I could never have imagined possible. Not that I was an incel before coming in here, no. Before I came in here, I was some sort of amateur PUA without even realizing that I was a PUA. I clubbed, searched for and screwed women. I even had a blog to recount my escapades. I did it coz I luv me some pussy. But even coming from that kind of place, after reading year one stuff, I realised I knew nothing. I am what I am to women today because of… Read more »

dr zipper
dr zipper
2 years ago

“Babe Ruth never argued that the wall should be closer and shorter.”

but his fans sure did ha!

theasdgamer
2 years ago

About saying shit to a man’s face… I used to be friends with a man who reached 650 on the Punch-O-Meter. Very strong. No way could I stand up to him in a battle of strength or let him get the first punch. I wouldn’t aggravate him to his face or on the phone (on the phone would be pussy), but I ended our friendship and he wasn’t happy and I don’t trust him. So I hope I don’t see him sneaking around my place…he’s a psychopath who ignores boundaries. I’ve seen him trespass and stalk at night. So this… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

“About the cross-hairs, just pray for me.”

Will do.

dr zipper
dr zipper
2 years ago

the only time I knowingly took another man’s woman… he was the guy who hired me, technically my boss, but I had already known from another business endeavor but I still thought it the right thing to do when I went in to his office and told him I dated his girl and he should find it out from me, not the grapevine; this was not a case in which he could have beat my ass, so that might have been a part of my decision, but I hope not it did feel like I was violating an unspoken trust… Read more »

SFC Ton
2 years ago

A lot of dudes want to live this bad ass, law of the jungle Red Pill pussy slayer life but they dont want any of that law of the jungle shit to fall on them.

There is a term for mother fuckers like that and it ain’t a compliment

SFC Ton
2 years ago

Cheupez there is a lot to unpack on the military wives deal but 80+% of them are whores

SFC Ton
2 years ago

There is a word for men who shoot other men in the back from long distances

That works is professional

Anyone who thinks that makes you a coward hasn’t been in very many firefights

SFC Ton
2 years ago

Blax you are carpet bombing this mother fucked with truth bombs

cheupez
2 years ago

Thanks @EhIntellect😆

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[…] The Rational Male’s “Surrender” […]

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
2 years ago

I know of a man who was a bad-ass chopper pilot who flew combat missions in Vietnam. He had two sons. His wife carried on an affair with a fellow officer–also married. The affair was found out and became common knowledge on his base. Both marriages ended in divorce. The fellow officer’s wife went insane. The guilty parties married each other. The chopper pilot was deeply wounded by the betrayal; started a new family with a younger woman. Nobody was shot in the back. I will have to take the word of men who have served in special forces situations.… Read more »

theasdgamer
2 years ago

@If

If there’s no Ride or Die woman, then there’s no Alpha widow. Lots of women refuse to date or remarry after becoming widows.

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

My ex remained single for close to 20 years. I think she has a man now, or at least there’s a guy that shows up in her Facebook posts often. After our divorce I always figured she wouldn’t be on the market very long, considering the legions of men that constantly pursued her while we were dating and married. Guys with way more money and top level ‘ player ‘ game, guys that loved travel and jet setting, there was even a male model in the mix. In a candid conversation after I’d remarried, she mentioned that the guys she… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
2 years ago

@ If In Jersey the self defense/property protection laws are muddy. It used to be called the ‘ equal force ‘ law, meaning if I happened to shoot an intruder in the face if I found him in my living room at 3 am, I could face prosecution if he was unarmed and if I didn’t make a ‘ reasonable’ attempt to get him out of my home sans deadly force. But I give absolutely no fucks at all about that. You come in through a window, you leave on a stretcher. Period. I’ll take my chances with a jury.… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
2 years ago

“2 in the chest/center mass, 2 in the noggin.”

Hitman Cruise had a similar approach…1:07

anon
anon
2 years ago

I went to a military retirement recently. The guy had spent a very very large amount of his quarter century of service time deployed around the globe, especially in the Middle East.
He said (publicly, at the podium) what he’d miss most is the brotherhood.

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
2 years ago

@ theasdgamer I would argue that the “Ride or Die Woman” and the “Alpha Widow” are related but separate concepts. Unless we are to put special snowflake status on a “Ride or Die Woman” and say that “all women are like that” except for snowflake, we are ignoring the lessons of red pill and Mr. Tomassi’s essays. It’s a hard thing for me to accept, myself. I have forged a 35 year relationship with one woman and with her, have raised two children to young adulthood. I should by all rights be able to lay claim to having a “Ride… Read more »

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
2 years ago

Oh, and the stupid woman would blow up her marriage or LTR by going after the Brazilian helicopter pilot or getting caught banging the pool boy. The evil woman would freevorce and go for cash and prizes.

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

“Unless we are to put special snowflake status on a “Ride or Die Woman” and say that “all women are like that” except for snowflake, we are ignoring the lessons of red pill and Mr. Tomassi’s essays.”

The boiled down lesson is still “It’s not them, it’s you.”.

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

“SJF speaks of the Anna Karenina principle of happy families. I believe this concept is correct, but I don’t believe the factors are a binary pass/fail. I think that to have a happy family or successful LTR/marriage, the persons involved have to make passing grades in all subjects, and the grade point averages need to be high enough to meet the others expectations.” Lol, If-I-Fell. You don’t have to get all explainy about it. No one said the Anna Karenina Principle is binary in terms of you, your wife and your children, your income, your sexual experience has to be… Read more »

If-I-Fell
If-I-Fell
2 years ago

Thanks Sentient and SJF The main message was even after 35 years. Game is still required. I was being “splainy” in an effort to hopefully illuminate a point and argue for it, and not just to be argumentative. Here is the backdrop. My “career” with my current employer is over. I am just slotted to be a good little beta that is supposed to do all the heavy lifting to make the boss and boss’s boss look good without any share of the rewards. They put some time-bombs in my performance review and I refused to sign it. It’s a… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago

If I fell “My bluepill interpretation of this song was that the singer was being egotistical or humble bragging. My redpill interpretation was that the song was dead-on and one of the most redpill songs ever written. I love the matter of fact and masculine delivery. “You’ll Never Find”, Lou Rawls.” All that creaking you hear is your mind shifting. Nice. Mindset. Mindset. Mindset. Frame. Frame. Frame. DPA. DPA. DPA. Platinum Rule. Platinum Rule. Platinum Rule. This is why some guy does something and it’s interpreted by Women as Alpha and another guy does it and it’s Beta. They suss… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
2 years ago
DiamondBack
2 years ago

Reblogged this on d1rty01dm4n and commented:
This is good stuff.

Dreamstone Mark VII
Dreamstone Mark VII
2 years ago

So you have MissInvested you glorious feelings in woman and – after – you suffer. Tell you what, that’s life. Me too one or two times and then never again. Now all womans are what they are. Side chicks (because you are the “side”). Better to run them “en passant”. But there is more important point. Your red and blue pills. I give a sh*t of them and tell you why? Whatever you choose, it’s a decision others has made for you (literally). You remember the scene after consuming the foreign substance that pretend to “awake” you” (or not)? The… Read more »

Sri
Sri
2 years ago

“….While I completely agree, what I’m wondering is why this need to surrender self is an intrinsic aspect in men? The majority of men (80% Betas) are pre-whipped to expect a need to surrender to the women in their lives. Their abdication is so matter of fact that it becomes something subconscious for them….” Rollo, I must admit this, but men I know are in a situation where they can expect serious abuse, verbal knives, ultimatums, hysterics and the whole house getting turned upside down, even threats of divorce and suicide, if they so much as put a foot down… Read more »

trackback

[…] and take their children away from them for any reason. But we’re all married, and as I wrote in Surrender, we have all willingly put ourselves in the most vulnerable position a man can be in; we’ve bet […]

trackback

[…] and take their children away from them for any reason. But we’re all married, and as I wrote in Surrender, we have all willingly put ourselves in the most vulnerable position a man can be in; we’ve bet […]

trackback

[…] and take their children away from them for any reason. But we’re all married, and as I wrote in Surrender, we have all willingly put ourselves in the most vulnerable position a man can be in; we’ve bet […]

Scott
Scott
2 years ago

I was reading this post and the desire dynamic post and am seeing these things going on in my life. In short term relationships over the past few years I’ve applied everything from Rational Male and other Red Pill favorites and it’s worked. But now I’m in my first LTR in more than a decade and I did not follow anything I should of for the past few months. I see myself surrendering to her frame, her mental point of origin, and over the past few months my betaness, that I thought I’d dealt with, has come back. Not to… Read more »

newlyaloof
2 years ago

@Scott, Sentient once wrote about how his wife blocked one of his sexual advances, so Sentient kissed her on the forehead, said, “Sleep tight. I’m going out. Not tired,” or something to that extent, and then went out to the bars. He said his phone was blowing up the whole time. Good way to instill dread and let your girl know you won’t put up with getting rejected. But don’t show any signs of being butt hurt about the rejection. Just go about leaving as if it’s totally the natural thing to do.

Scott
Scott
2 years ago

Yeah my Red Pill isn’t internal yet…I thought it was but it clearly isn’t if I’m willing to surrender or negotiate etc. I’ll look for that video of Rollo and Goldmund.

I should up the dread but moving from losing the frame to gaining it back…it could be interesting as she clearly holds the cardinal rule of relationships (needs me the least). No longer sure how to do it but I’ll see if I can find what Sentient did.

Thanks for the feedback.

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