Alpha-Beta Communication Modes


I had a really good comment from Rites of Passage from Elooie I’ve been meaning to get back to for a while now:

This post has been here for about a week so this comment might get buried but I was wondering if it would be an interesting post for you to speak to the difference in how women communicate with men they find alpha and men who are their emotional dumpster. (Its been covered in aggregate by multiple posts but not specifically how women frame the conversation)

At my work, I am an expert in not only my field but in our company. Even our newly hired CFO made a comment about finally putting a face to the legend he had heard about (when we met).

Since becoming red pill aware and really beginning to actively observe men and women in the office, I have found that women come to me specifically for career advice, my expertise, leadership and my help to make things happen. They don’t complain, they don’t dump their emotions they don’t ask me how I feel other than to make sure I approve. This defer to leadership (as I call it) has been happening more and more recently (either from my continued awaking to RP or my ability to finally notice)

What made me think to bring this female communication between alpha (defer to leadership for help/decisions) and beta men (let me dump my feeling on you) was a co-worker I used to work with a lot looked out of sort and I made a joke about her being high.. and she almost emotionally broke down when she told me her brother recently died. She visibly choked it down and I changed the subject before she broke down. She was incredibly relieved. In a way, changing the subject gave her strength or at least a distraction. Since then she has tried to be more engaged with me and constantly asking for my approval of what she does. I find it interesting that blue pill men might have wanted to try and help by having her discuss her feelings or try to connect with her and talk about how awful he feels for her.

Another example is a girl I used to sleep with texted me after the election out of the blue about how distraught she was and how the world was going to end because Trump won. (She doesn’t know I prefer Trump to Hillary). In the ramblingly long text she even mentioned how angry and unstable her current boyfriend was over it. All I said back was, “Take a deep breath, its going to be fine.” From that point on she has been trying to re-engage me and always flirty. Its obvious to me she wasn’t looking for someone to have an emotional conversation with..(her distraught beta boyfriend could have handled that) she wanted someone to tell her she was freaking out and pull her back to earth.

Both of those situations in a blue pill world would have triggered the “lets explore how we feel” conversation, but really they didn’t want that.

I’ve written several essays about the difference in men and women’s communications priorities and the importance each sex places on particular aspects of communication. However, most of these simply outlined the dynamics. It’s no secret, even to Blue Pill men, that men and women communicate differently. Men place primary importance on the information or content of what is being communicated, while women put context, or how what’s being communicated makes them feel about the exchange as their primary importance.

This is actually one area of Red Pill awareness you’ll get the least amount of resistance from Blue Pill guys or the femosphere about. Women love to tell us how superior their communication skills are, or how they get so much more from sub-communications that men are largely ignorant of. The point of pride comes from the idea that women tend to communicate more “effectively” than men, because they utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy whereas men tend to be more task-oriented, less talkative, and more isolated. Men have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalized, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. These differences explain why men and women sometimes have difficulty communicating and why men-to-men friendships look different from friendships among women.

The problem with all of this is that it presupposes that women’s communication is the ‘correct’ form while men’s is incorrect because it is more blunt and devoid of nuance. The measure of “effective” communication in a feminine-centric world is judged from a feminine-centric (emotional) metric, not how well information is transferred. There’s really nothing isolating about men’s capacity to communicate, it just doesn’t appeal to a social order that’s founded on what ought to be correct for the Feminine Imperative. As you might guess, a high importance is given to emotion and a capacity to emote in a feminine-primary social order. Thus, emotionalism becomes the benchmark for that order’s metric of “effective communication”.

I’m stressing this here because as western(izing) societies have effectively feminized men for the past 4-5 generations the majority of men (largely Beta) have adapted to learn, and default to, this context-first female form of communication. In spite of men’s neurological differences in communication, their Blue Pill conditioning teaches them that ‘effective’ communication is female, emotive, communication. Although they lack the hardware for it, men learn to alter their communication style to accommodate that of women’s because it is seen as a means to intimacy with women in feminine-primary society. Beta men, as part of Beta Game, are conditioned by the Blue Pill to reprogram themselves to identify with the feminine – a large part of that is learning to communicate as a woman communicates.

Boyfriends and Girlfriends

Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re not fucking her, you’re her girlfriend.

I wrote that as part of my posts on intergender friendships. Women get upset by that quote because it’s unflattering, but true. Blue Pill guys get upset because they see themselves in it and then seek to rationalize how their situation with their ‘girl’ friends is different. But what they both rarely want to confront is that Beta men communicate with women like women. And conversely, women communicate with Beta men in the same mode of communication they are comfortable with when communicating with their same-sex girl friends.

Most Blue Pill / Beta men are largely oblivious to the fact that their communication’s methods and priorities have been conditioned to have them subconsciously default to a feminine-primary, context (feeling)-first form of communicating with women. This is so engrained in Beta men’s personalities that few are ever aware that they do so. It’s just ‘how they are’, and few if any ever give an afterthought to how they communicate with women as women. Many a Beta guy gets very hostile when they have this pointed out to them because it conflicts with their distorted Blue Pill-defined concept of masculinity. So, if you tell a Beta, ‘you communicate like a woman’ the conditioned response then is to question the security of the masculinity of the guy pointing it out and he goes back to feeling good about himself for being evolved enough to communicate correctly – as a woman.

It’s when guys unplug and become Red Pill aware that they begin to understand this dynamic. Most Beta men’s feminine-primary communication mode makes them subconsciously indistinguishable from women’s ‘girlfriends’. I mentioned this in some past essays on intergender friendships, but what happens is that as part of men’s Blue Pill conditioning that convinces them to adopt a personality of passivity, equalism, sensitivity and identifying themselves with the feminine, in most respects they become a woman’s same-sex girl friend. This feminization of the Beta is confirmed for them when that Beta communicates in the same mode as her best girl friends. The appearance might be male, but the hindbrain registers female for her.

This context-primary form of communication is the most common among men (largely Beta) today so it’s literally what women are accustomed to when they interact with men. They become used to being deferred to, used to being communicated with in her own mode. This then sets the baseline for what women expect from men’s communication – they expect him to communicate like a same-sex friend – so when that mode becomes taxed or a guy slips back into his blunt, low-nuance content driven mode it’s naturally an attraction. No doubt, that guy will get called out for being a ‘typical dude’ and shamed for his incorrect form, but it is attractive not only for being a break from the feminized communication patterns she’s used to, but also because it implies that he’s his own mental point of origin. It communicates that he is confident enough not to care about accommodating her form of communication (feminine-primary).

One reason Amused Mastery is so effective is because it forces a woman to communicate on male terms. Amused Mastery implies a man actually has a mastery above that of the woman he interacts with. When a man employs Amused Mastery it registers in a woman’s hindbrain through his unapologetic insistence on communicating with her on his communicative terms.

You’re Not Listening

Women’s biggest complaint about men with regard to communication is that they don’t listen. The common Red Pill observation about this that women only come up with that gripe when men wont do what she tells him to, and that it’s about a Frame grab. That’s certainly true, and especially evident in relationships where a woman presumes her Frame is the dominant one, however there’s a bit more to this. ‘Men don’t listen’ is also a conflict in communication modes. Since men’s communication mode centers on content and information, we tend to filter out the background noise – and most of the background noise that comes about from intergender communication comes from exactly the emotional chaff that women are so proud of in their ‘correct’ form of communicating. Men intensely listen to content, what they filter is unimportant non-content and usually this amounts to the contextual delivery of what’s being communicated.

However, women do filter for that emotiveness, so once again when a man does listen to feelings and identifies with women expressing them women’s hindbrains associate that with a feminine (or feminized) character. Ergo, the association is that Beta men are ‘listeners’, which ultimately is anti-seductive for any man wanting to develop a woman as a romantic prospect. And thus, you become her girl friend.

The Alpha & Beta Communication

So, to Elooie’s point, yes there are communicative differences in the ways women will relate to men they perceive as Alpha and Beta. As you may have guessed, how a woman communicates with you is a very strong indicator of her sexual market value estimate of you. Going back again to Amused Mastery, if you are perceived as an authority of something a woman’s communicative mode will often shift to a more content specific (male) form of interacting. This is particularly so when her need dictates she solve an immediate problem. Women with pressing real-world problems will often confuse men they perceive as Beta by deferring to their particular expertise on whatever it is they believe will solve that problem.

A lot of Beta computer guys know what I’m talking about. A woman communicates with them in her own feels-first contextual mode when it’s all solipsistically about her personal problems, but let her iPhone or laptop malfunction and then she shifts to content driven communication. She does this to solve a pressing problem by shifting the mode of interaction to deferring to him. He registers this and defaults back to his content-driven communication (with not a little bit of pride that she recognizes his convenient expertise). Once the problem is resolved, she goes back to her mode of communication (feels-first) and shames him for being a typical guy if he doesn’t adjust back to her communicative frame.

Another scenario is what Elooie describes. Women who already have an Alpha impression of you will often begin an exchange in what she expects will be your male-centered way of interacting. In PUA terms you might call this a preset buying temperature, but when a woman is attracted to you she is expecting you to communicate as she expects a man will communicate. In fact this is an excellent Alpha Tell if you have the skill to recognize it. In the early stages of interacting with a woman you will notice that playful banter is almost always performed in men’s communicative mode. This is the mode an attracted woman is hoping you’ll insist on maintaining. In fact, I’d argue that most shit tests a woman delivers (at least the active shit tests) are issued in the hopes that you will pass them from within a male-centered communicative mode.

That’s not to say that men’s content-based communication leaves no room for wit or nuance – nothing entertains a woman more than a guy who ‘Just Gets It‘ but also knows how to communicate that he does get it. This is the intergender thrust, parry, riposte of Game. If a man defaults to being Mr. Sensitivity, self-conscious of his every response and reflexively communicates in a female-centered mode from the outset, he gets relegated to Beta status; only useful for convenient chores and emotional tampon duties.

I think it’s a really good exercise for newly Red Pill aware men to put on their Red Pill Lenses and really listen and watch how women interact with men and each other. Make mental notes about how you think a woman interprets the SMV of men as well as the women she communicates with. Watch for the shift in communication modes, see if you can predict the shift when a woman talks with a man you think is Beta and then with a man you think she perceives as Alpha. It’s really not that hard to guess. In fact, we’re really preprogrammed to acknowledge it even in a Blue Pill sense, but with Red Pill awareness it’s educational and entertaining.

Once you get a good understanding of how this communicative interplay shifts according to personality, need, environment and attraction you’ll get a better grasp of the message a woman’s medium is telling you personally. Then, learn to pull your head out of a female mode of communicating and insist on her coming into your mode of communicating. This will be an essential part of establishing your dominant Frame.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

409 comments on “Alpha-Beta Communication Modes

  1. @ Sentient

    Lol. Maaannnn…. I had the exact same beach scenario with a chick that would later become my first wife. I thought that the tide eased it’s way onshore, but it was more like a crash. Or maybe it was easing and I was distracted until a wave washed over us – at a very appropriate time I might add.

    I had to buy her another beach towel.

  2. Rand

    Isn’t arrogance a perception? Isn’t it more often a subjective experience that others endure because your disgust and confidence threatens them in some way? Or am I the epitome of arrogance for asking these questions? Who decides? Who is the universal correct?

  3. Great post Rollo. You think you’re synchronized to some female because you’re doing as you’ve been taught. And you are – she subconsciously sees you as a woman!

    Every time I think I’m ready to test for my black belt in red pill awareness, it turns out I’m still just practicing falls.

  4. Blax

    LOL… yeah this was a bay, so not much wave action… sneaky fucker…

    Still always get aroused at the beach… was a prime spot.

  5. Forge


    God damn… so it’s a thing. A feel better, but still sick when looking at that shit…


  6. Forge

    “Sliding scale, each one”

    Sliding scales but not equal weighting. what if Gram’s is into it??? Seems to be a thing

  7. “Every time I think I’m ready to test for my black belt in red pill awareness, it turns out I’m still just practicing falls.”

    Heh, some long boring abstract thought on practicing falls. Until you get good at it:

    It is one thing to try to ignore negative events in your life, but there are bigger issues in societies that are un-ignorable. There are bigger problems in herds of humans that remain passive sheep. Including the Matrix sucking your energy because the Feminine Imperative is winning through technological advances and thirsty males–and the Misandry Bubble. (Thirsty men seeking to get laid, making blue pill tactics seem at least a ghost of a chance of getting laid if lacking a solid masculine identity and alpha mindset.)

    Ignoring things as Rand advocates, still means that that ignoring should apply to (and concentrate on) abstract personal psychological problems, rather than real world problems of advancing your sexual strategy (getting laid and having good game). (The essence of It’s You, Not Them.)

    You need to get hold of self esteem problems, voyeuristic distraught feelings that others are succeeding and actually getting laid, and frustration with your own shortcomings. You also have to ditch insignificant matters like some women can’t seem to shoot straight in a logical men’s realm of logical thought. These kind of matters are those that you need to not waste time and energy and get on with the business of learned game and missing out for lost time (if not historically being good at and being a natural at game). Worry and anger keep you busy in a vicious cycle that promotes more worry and anger.

    Vadim Zelands books, “Transurfing Reality”, are woo woo bullshit abstractions like the woo woo bullshit book “The Secret” and the power of positive thinking. But he has some good tactics if you have half a wit to advance your own personal power, through overcoming stupid personal peculiarities and can advance your cause in red pill awareness.

    He’s got this abstract thing called pendulums.

    Pendulums are an especially interesting topic, as this world is full of them. A pendulum is a certain system, entity, idea which requires outside energy to continue. Some examples might be a government, an organization, a person controlled by anger (whereby the “anger” or irritated feeling would be the pendulum). A person can generate energy in and of himself, whereas a pendulum needs others’ in order to exist. A government is a concept people created, it would not exist without people feeding their energy into it. It gets your fear by threatening you for not following it, with prison, fines, etc. Your fear supports its continued existence.

    In order to control or choose one’s own reality, we have to stop giving energy to negative pendulums. This means, stopping worry, fear, and doubt as they only bring the undesired. They unite the spirit and the mind in their loathing, which causes that which we dread to come all the faster.

    An example of a huge vast swinging pendulum is the Matrix Hivemind of the Feminine Imperative and Blue Pill White Knight adherents. I’m sure Blaximus would agree that worry and doubt are not the best representation of yourself and that fighting smarter is more advised than brute force.

    Here is an excerpt from Transurfing Reality on dealing with bullshit forces like Rand is facing:

    The Fall Through of a Pendulum

    Fighting a pendulum is useless. As has been mentioned above, fighting it means feeding it with your energy. The first and most important condition for success is refusal to fight with it. First, the more you are trying to fight off the annoying things in your life, the more actively they will pursue you. You could forever keep saying, “Just leave me in peace! Everyone, leave me alone!” You think that you are defending yourself against the annoying pendulums, but you are actually feeding them with your energy and thus, they stick to you even more.

    Second, you don’t have the right to condemn or change anything in this world. You have to accept everything like you would accept an artwork at an exhibition, no matter whether you like it or not. There may be many pictures at the exhibition that may not seem too appealing to you. However, it would never occur to you to demand that they would be taken away. Once you’ve recognized the right of the pendulum to exist, you have the right to leave it alone, to resist falling under its influence. But the main thing is to avoid getting into a fight with it – don’t blame it, don’t get angry with it, don’t lose your temper, because all this would mean your participation in the pendulum’s game. Do the exact opposite, quietly accept the pendulum as something given, as an unavoidable evil, and then leave. If you show any aversion, you will be giving your energy to the pendulum.

    Before exploring what it means to choose, we have to learn how to say no. People, in general, have a vague idea of what they want. But everyone knows for sure what they don’t want. Striving to free themselves from undesirable things or events, many act in such a way that they get the exact opposite. In order to say no, it’s necessary to accept. The word “accept” in this context does not mean that you should embrace it and make it a part of yourself, but rather that you should admit to yourself that everyone has the right to exist, and then pass by indifferently. To accept and to let go means to let things pass through you and to wave goodbye to them as they leave. The opposite would be to accept things and to keep them close by, and then to become attached to them or try to resist them.

    If you are being pestered by thoughts about things you dislike, those very things will find their way into your life. Imagine that somebody doesn’t like apples. He simply hates them, they make him sick. This person could just ignore them, but he cannot come to terms with the thought that there are such disgusting things as apples in his world. They irritate him every time he lays eyes on them, and he actively talks about his aversion. This is what happens on the material plane. However, on the energy plane, the man is greedily pouncing on the apples, stuffing his mouth with them, chewing noisily, and trying to scream how much he hates them, he is stuffing his pockets full of apples, he is choking on them and again starts complaining about how sick he is of them. It does not occur to the man that he can simply throw the apples out of his life if he doesn’t want them.

    Whether you love or hate something has no meaning. The main thing is that if your thoughts are preoccupied with the object of your feelings, the energy of your thoughts will fix on a certain frequency and you will thus, be captured by a pendulum and transported to a corresponding life track, where the loved or hated object exists in abundance.

    If you don’t want to have a certain thing in your life, then stop thinking about it, pass this particular thing by indifferently, and it will disappear from your life. To throw something out from your life does not mean you should avoid it, but simply ignore it. To avoid something means to allow it passage into your life, but at the same time actively try to free yourself from it. To ignore something means not to react to it in any way and, consequently, not to have it in your life.

    Imagine that you are a radio receiver. Every day you wake up and listen to a station that you really hate that is the world around you. So, just tune yourself into a different frequency!

    It can appear that, placing an iron curtain between you and the world would protect you from undesirable pendulums. This is nothing but an illusion. When you are in this iron shell, you are telling yourself: “I am a blank wall. I don’t see anything, I don’t hear anything, I don’t know anything and I don’t speak to anyone. There is no access to me.” (Edited to add: This is Law #18 of the 48 Laws of Power.) In order to maintain such a protective field, it’s necessary to spend energy and quite a lot of it actually. A person that is intentionally trying to shut himself off from the world is constantly on the edge. Besides everything else, the energy of a protective field is tuned into the frequency of that pendulum, against which your protection was built in the first place. And this is exactly what the pendulum wants. It does not care at all whether you give him your energy with pleasure or with anger, as long as you give it to the pendulum. What could then serve as protection against a pendulum? Emptiness. If I am empty, no pendulum will be able to catch on to me. I am not joining the pendulum’s game, but I am not trying to defend myself against the pendulum either. I simply ignore it. The energy of the pendulum flies past me, without touching me and disappears into space. The pendulum’s game doesn’t bother me, it doesn’t affect me. In relation to the pendulum, I am empty.

    The pendulum’s main objective is to attract as many adherents as possible to get their energy. If you ignore a pendulum, it will leave you alone and switch over to other people. This is because the pendulum can only affect someone that accepts its game, in other words, someone who starts radiating thought energy on the frequency of the pendulum.
    Let’s take the most basic example. A barking dog is chasing you. If you turn around to face it, the dog will bark even louder. If you will take the dog seriously and start to wrangle with it, the dog will continue running after you for quite a while. After all it is the dog’s aim to find someone to have a row with. But if you simply ignore the dog, it will look for another object. And do notice that it will never occur to the dog to feel insulted because you wouldn’t pay any attention to it. The dog is too absorbed with its goal of getting energy that it can’t possibly think about something else. Now, you could substitute the dog with a troublemaker, and the given model would work the same way.

    If someone is annoying you, try the model of a destructive pendulum on him. He’ll probably be a perfect match. If you cannot quiet the “troublemaker”, then simply refrain from reacting to his provocations – ignore him. He won’t leave you alone until you stop giving him your energy. You can give the energy directly to him by getting into a fight with him, or indirectly by silently hating him. To stop giving away your energy means to stop thinking at all about the troublemaker. Just throw him out of your head. Simply tell to yourself: “Oh, never mind him!” – and he will be gone from your life.

    However, it is often the case that you simply can’t ignore the pendulum. For example, the boss calls you on the carpet. Simply refusing, or trying to defend yourself would in both cases mean a loss of energy, because in both situations you would be fighting the pendulum. In such cases, you can act as if you are taking part in the pendulum’s game. The main thing is to keep in mind that you are just pretending to play the pendulum’s game.

    Imagine a burly fellow raising his sledgehammer at you and striking a blow. You have nothing against it, you are not defending yourself and you are not attacking him. In this moment, you simply step aside and the big fellow, along with his sledgehammer, hits an empty spot. This means that the pendulum can’t catch on to you and thus, it falls through empty space.
    The same principle lies at the heart of aikido – a type of martial arts. The following is what literally happens in aikido: the attacker is taken by the arm and brought along with the defender, as if the defender is casually seeing him off, and then the attacker is released without any force from the defender, and is sent flying in the same direction in which he was aiming in the first place. The whole secret is that the defender has nothing against the attack. He agrees with the attacker’s way, walks together with him for a while, and then lets go of him. The energy of the attacker falls through into empty space, because if the defender is “empty” there is nothing to catch on to.

    So, what is the technique behind this soft approach? Basically, you respond to the pendulum’s first attack with agreement, and then you diplomatically step aside or unobtrusively direct the pendulum’s movement to where you want it. For example, your eager boss wants to load you with work and demands, all excited, that you do it exactly the way he wants it to be done. You know that it needs to be done differently or you even believe that this task is not your responsibility in the first place. If you will start objecting, arguing and defending yourself, your boss will, in the strictest way, ask for your obedience. After all, he has made a decision, and you’re defying him. Do the exact opposite. Listen carefully to what your boss is saying, agree with everything he says, let the pendulum exhaust its first impulse. Then gently start discussing the details of the job with him. At this moment, you have accepted the energy of your boss and radiate at his frequency. His impulse has not met any opposition and will therefore subside for the time being. Don’t tell him that you know better how this job should be done, don’t say no to the job and don’t argue with him. Just ask for his advice, ask him how you could do the job faster and better or how perhaps another employee could do it even better. By doing this, you are swinging along with the pendulum, but you are doing it consciously, not participating in its game, but as if observing it from the outside. The pendulum swings, completely absorbed with the game. And it is the pendulum’s game – it is making the decision, and people agree with it and consult it for advice. You’ll see that the energy, previously directed at you, will be turned away from you, towards another solution or towards somebody else, who will do the job. Hence, for you personally, the pendulum will fall through.

    Move on and let that shit fall through.

  8. I was thinking about the OP and trying to recall a few examples from life.

    As has been alluded to here, it’s possible to get women out of their standard mode of communication and into a more rational and emotion free manner of communication, but I don’t think it’s possible to get the vast majority of women to stay there for any appreciative length of time.

    I am a big believer of training chicks, whether in ltr’s or some sort or just during consistent interaction. It’s fun, like a brain teaser or something – a puzzle to solve.

    An example of something that I’ve done with the wife that is paying dividends that I’d not expected, is getting her to watch, enjoy and fully understand the game of football. The most satisfying part of all of this, is that she still watches it with ” Girly Emotion ” to a greater extent.

    New Years was spent with family in NYC. I commandeered the television at our destination to finish watching the Cowboys, and then to watch the Redskins/Giants game. Wifey is a Giants fan. The 20 something males in attendance weren’t really football fans, so they talked and texted while I watched the game. Wifey was entangled with the other women ( aunts and cousins and a smokin’ hot Columbian chick ) and couldn’t watch.

    So she asked me to give her a play by play.

    One of her cousins happened to mention how she liked the Redskins QB and wifey said something to the effect of : ” Cousins?? He’s a scrub. He folds up in the redzone like a cheap lawnchair. He isn’t good under pressure or blitzes Don’t be fooled by his almost 5,000 passing yards… pressure him and the interceptions start happening. 19 million they paid him and they are gonna have to franchise him to keep him around…”.

    Now, she’s a Giant fan that started out only watching her ” team ” play. I spent the better part of 2 seasons teaching her the game and the rules, and once she grasped them, she started watching most of the big matchups on her own, even if I wasn’t home.

    I took her to Metlife stadium and she probably orgasmed a few times.

    Forge hit on something very true. You communicate with them like a man, in a masculine way, keeping in mind how they perceive and absorb information – emotions and feels. You gotta understand how they perceive and understand things, data and information. They translate it into emotional substances. Once they can do this, they can also reverse engineer it to effectively communicate with men. But it takes a man to teach them this.

    Lol, the thing is, they need a real reason to do so.

  9. @ Sentient and Forge

    I definitely suffer from Trypophobia. Like Sentient, some images or sights make me queasy as hell. One that I’ve seen recently on youtube ads comes immediately to mind. It’s been fraking me out every time I go to youtube, to the point of anger. ” Why the FUCK don’t they take that shit down??!!??”.

    I found a pic just like it, but I’ll spare Sentient ( and myself ) the anguish of posting it.

  10. Blax

    Interesting. Perhaps it is the result of a highly developed (lol) lizard brain.


  11. @Forge

    Re: friends’ proximity causing fear

    I walked out of a bar where I’d been at a gaming meetup with a post-Wall broad in full view of her friends…we were heading for my truck to drink booze…said truck being parked on the street in front of the bar…she was talking about how she once crawled up on a man’s lap to fuck him in his truck…I think this was all about validation for her as a status display for other broads in the group…fear wasn’t an issue

  12. This teaching women to like sports seems counter productive

    If she is watching football how can she be sucking my cock while I watch football?

  13. Fgs and Sif,

    Firstly thank you and I get it English is not my 2nd language. I’m not illerate. Think of it this way, working in healthcare there are tons of terms families aren’t familiar with, it’s still English it just takes a few times for them to comprehend fully. As far as this forum I get that my problem lies with in.

    He’ll if anything I got sick of blaming others a long time ago. Until I came across this blog (these responses) I didn’t have access to thoughts like this. I worked with what I had previously to make myself better. When I respond to you it’s not a challenge to what you’ve both stated. I’ve said several times I need to get better. I’m not here to cling to what little I know in effort to refute you all. I started reading the archives and will continue to do so. The Pook thing… I get it. However who can say I didn’t see it that way… Until they say oh I’m sorry I didn’t see it that way.



  14. @EhIntellect – Forge’s told you about the logistics angle, but just to add to it a little bit: the focus isn’t “do you have a place of your own” (although that certainly helps).

    It’s more about getting her isolated/comfortable/away from social judgment wherever that is.

    This is why club restrooms work. Cleaning cupboards since you work in a hospital. Quiet street near the club. Dark booth in the club with your coat covering both of you. Whatever. I’ve done bar restroom quite a few times. Also, parking lot with an 18 year old in the last few months – which I posted about.

    Doesn’t HAVE to be your place, but obviously it helps a lot (but then you have to start considering logistics of how difficult it is to get to your place and buying temperature drops if it takes too long to get there, plus I find you need to be careful about mentioning going to your place because that phrase can trigger massive ASD – so you have to be careful to seed the pull and give her some plausible deniability excuse to go to your place early on – I usually say I’ve left my wallet at home and only had enough cash in my pocket to pay for a couple of drinks at the bar nearby).

    Hotels are great like Sentient says. I have an extremely high strike rate with girls I meet in hotel bars (ie, from online when I’m travelling..she comes to my hotel for a drink). Partly it’s a good sign in itself that she’s willing to come to my hotel for a drink, then it’s just 100 feet to the elevator and up to the room. Amazing logistics.

    @Sentient @Forge

    “What if Gramma is into it”

    Well, funny you should say that.

    A few years ago when I was active in the swingers scene (it was a kind of buffer to avoid having to put my ego on the line talking to hot girls in clubs – and it wasn’t that easy anyway, but I digress), I banged a married chick about 35-40, HB6, who got off on being done while her hubby listened to us upstairs.

    Anyway. The website I met her on let people rate each other and verify each other so you know who really meets up etc. A few months later I was idly looking at her profile page and one of her “reviews” was some guy posting about how he’d had a threesome with her and her MOM, and how it was so amazing and the (late 60s) mom was totally into the threesome with her daughter and stuff.

    Then I checked out the mom’s profile..and yeah, who knows if they really had a threesome, but it appeared legit. Age about right, looked vaguely like the daughter, lots of verifications so it was a real woman..etc.

    I remember thinking WTF but I guess it takes all kinds.

  15. Thanks again Rollo,

    for teaching me that women don’t want you to be nice to them like you want them to be nice to you,

    for showing what shit tests are and explaining what’s going on behind them,

    for illuminating the ways a woman will try to take control to see if she can, resulting in her own unhappiness,

    most of all for letting us know not to take women too seriously.

    It would be good if we could treat women as well as we’d like to, but female nature, testing to see if her man is tough enough to keep her secure won’t let us do it.

    I’m over 50 now, and having more and better sex than I’ve ever had. Better late than never, but a few years earlier wouldn’t have hurt.

    If you’re keeping a count of lives saved…. well quality of life has improved so much it’s kind of equivalent.

    Thank you.

  16. Hi Rollo,

    I found your blog only just recently in September 2016. After digesting the articles and critically thinking about them, I felt I needed more. I don’t know if you would remember someone on Twitter asking you if your book was available for purchase in the UK. Yeah, that was me. Anyway, I bought the ebook (because I could not wait for delivery time) and it took me 4 days to finish it.

    I have to say. In my entire life, I have never been so grateful for making a life-changing decision. The red pill is indeed hard to swallow but then so is everything that goes against everything one has been taught.

    A little about myself. I’m Nigerian. I was raised by a Beta dad and a mum who only catered for my siblings and I because my dad was.. well.. Beta. As the first child, it was customary that I follow in my father’s ways and at the same time listen to my mother because she gave birth to me. This went on for most of my formative years. And then in my teens, I became rebellious. I didn’t care about school grades anymore. I just want my fingers underneath girls’ skirts and get into fights for no reason. Of course, my parents were furious. I got caught sketching very artful images of men fucking women when I was 15. I got sent out of boarding school to go “think of my sins” and ironically, this was the moment I lost my virginity to a 21 year old girl spending Christmas at our house.

    After several years of being berated by my parents and forced to conform to their needs, I finally gave in. Aced my final exams, got into university to study Engineering because it was a respected field of study. Everything seemed great. But throughout my years in University, I was fucking miserable. Failed my second and third year because a girl dumped me for a final year student, started being depressed and negative. I was getting laid infrequently and that was because I had to beg and entice girls with gifts.
    After I graduated, I almost went through the same process everyone goes: graduate, look for a job/do your Masters, get a house, get married and start a family, provide for them because that is ‘what men do’. I still felt horrible. I knew what was wrong with me. I knew I wasn’t living a fulfilling life. I was changing girlfriends every other month because I felt either inadequate to meet their needs or the girl wasn’t good enough. I occasionally went the dark path and fucked some girls who were either in relationships or engaged. Still my life was a rut.

    Fast-forward till September 2016, when I stumbled on your blog. I still remember the first post I read. It was about Hypergamy and Cuckoldry. It came as a shock to me because these are things I noticed subconsciously but never did I think it was detrimentally to men’s mindset. and that’s because I’ve been led to believe men are scum, sexist pigs, misogynists, whose responsibility is to make the word a better place for women.

    Most nights, I felt resentment towards women. Other nights, I felt resentment towards myself for not having this knowledge before hand. I read The Rationale Male book in 4 days (even though I have also been preparing for exams) and I took time out to carefully and critically analyse myself.

    I know what I have to do. It will not be an easy task to unlearn all the bullshit that has been shoved down my throat neither will it be easy to become a better man to myself but I am willing to follow it though all the way.

    Thank you for making this blog happen. I have shared your book with a few friends of mine. They all think it’s a “selfish way to think and women are actually being mistreated by patriarchy”. Ah well… At least I tried….

  17. Culum

    2017 – we need to solve the small town issue… Many bangs to be had there, especially with your big city skills… there must be other girls around outside your social circle.

  18. Thanks Sentient.

    Yeah I’m probably not optimizing the small town as much as I could. But it is difficult. Partly just small town, less choice (the “Hank problem” lol) but also I have insane work hours here in the small town because I arrange my schedule to maximize free time in the big city, so just not much free time either.

    That said, I am focussing on doing what I can in day to day interactions – things like watching who has the frame, who is deferring to home, body language, voice tonality stuff like that and trying to improve mine. And if I’m lucky I’ll have a 2-3 month stretch in Big City towards the end of the year.

    Also seriously started working on my fitness last few weeks (before New Year, so strictly speaking not a New Year’s Resolution). Weight training three times a week (albeit from an absurdly low strength base). More than anything I’m going for consistency and even in 3 weeks have seen improvements – trick is to keep it up when I start travelling again – to the Big City or worse to hotels and smaller towns. It’s not that gyms don’t exist in those places – more that it is difficult to stay consistent when you get out of the daily routine.

    Also, for the first time ever I’ve switched to a paleo/keto diet since New Year. Only been a few days but I feel good. I don’t really need to lose weight but I’ve dropped 4 lbs since NYE (the little paunch is nearly gone). Again, it’s gonna be trickier to stay consistent when travelling, but I’d rather have a “good” diet with a few misses and cheat days and stuff, than try to be perfect and keep failing. Also meditation every day. Family history of diabetes so gotta be careful (all 4 grandparents and one parent).

    Also thinking about doing an RSD bootcamp in 2017 if the dates and instructors I want work out. I’d really like to do it, but I kinda feel that I don’t want to “waste” it on my current sticking points. I’ve had great advice here on the current sticking points and I don’t need to pay $2,000 to be told I need to push past my comfort zone and close. I don’t really need technical knowledge – the biggest boost from it will be the state boost and commitment of a bootcamp and the energy. Perhaps I’ll save the bootcamp for my next plateau – learn by myself to close consistently and then try the bootcamp for the next level of sticking points. Not decided yet..

  19. Culum

    You would be better served spending the $ going to Vegas or New Orleans and doing pick up 20 hours a day for a week. Do that two times for 1k a week. And do it back to back months.

  20. Culum

    But seriously in your small town (and unless it is sub 2k people it’s not that small and there are likely larger places within 50 miles) there is no reason you are not opening girls when in the gym or getting coffee or getting food or buying groceries or getting gas… All non work time stuff you are out and can get numbers etc.

    Switch from this “game on, game off” mentality.

  21. Re: the OP

    @ Joe: Your ideas of feminine stability kills people when lives are on the line. Military women I knew with would bawl if they failed their riflery, PT, BMI testing. They’d show male character, act safe as Hindu cows, when they’re protected by Army Inc. In distress, guys would kick a stone, swear, get drunk, gals would decompensate. In non-fiction world women emoting=dead people. Usually other people.

    “Going back again to Amused Mastery, if you are perceived as an authority of something a woman’s communicative mode will often shift to a more content specific (male) form of interacting. This is particularly so when her need dictates she solve an immediate problem.”

    “Women who already have an Alpha impression of you will often begin an exchange in what she expects will be your male-centered way of interacting. In PUA terms you might call this a preset buying temperature, but when a woman is attracted to you she is expecting you to communicate as she expects a man will communicate.”


    I ask 2 RN’s if they often see women crying or emotionally dumping on each other in the break room. (I don’t go in that chicken coop. Fuck no.) They deny women cry or dump. Uh-huh.

    Not 10 minutes later another RN spontaneously states her Dad is post knee replacement. I don’t even know this woman’s name. But her Dad’s in pain. Me: O.K. I want to leave.

    She wants to be closer to take care of him (!). I immediately see where this is going…I’m cornered in a stock room. She starts to blubber. Hell to the f’ing no, I ain’t gonna be a tear tampon. I hook her elbow walk her into the hall where the other staff stand, grab the nearest woman, WHO happens to be the RN who denies women cry @ work.

    Me: This woman needs a hug, you must hug her and console her. The RN begrudgingly hugs her then says, looking at me then back, kinda irked “You know, I miss my family too!”

    I amscray. Whew.

    @ Culum

    Thanks for your input. I’ve lived in this biggish city, a couple generations deep. I really can’t go anywhere within the greater city and burbs without knowing someone. I meet dozens of people daily who are severely stressed. Then I meet them out and about. They remember my face, from work, church, kid’s school, friendships, social circles, my hangouts. I’ve worked in cities within a couple hours around home too. As an ambassador of my profession, I’m always on. It’s unspoken that I can be fired for besmirching the company name. This is a good gig. There’s too much to lose philandering here.

    I’m with Sentient. Forget the extramarital stuff around home. If it happens, I’d need to be hundreds of miles away. Yon, I’d make it go easily enough.

    Have a great weekend. I know I will.

  22. ” there is no reason you are not opening girls when in the gym or getting coffee or getting food or buying groceries or getting gas”

    Christo Rey!!

    Grocery service counter (2 days ago), at the pump (New Years Eve she and I talked for 5 minutes after shaking hands, after fueling up…powerful attraction.)

    These are my favorite chat-em-up places. Well, anywhere is, but anyways. This morning even.

    Today Youngish pretty coming up gym stairs. Me chilling, low tone: Happy New Year. Is this a resolution or maintenance? Her: Hi. It’s maintenance. Me: I can tell. Keep it up.

    Did she give me the toothy smile and come fuck me eyes. What a way to start my day…

  23. @ASD

    “I think this was all about validation for her as a status display for other broads in the group…fear wasn’t an issue”

    Correct, because what a woman fears post-wall isn’t being perceived as a slut. It’s being perceived as over the hill.

    Hey, check out this cool chart I found:

    Banging a man who far exceeds her SMV is generally a status boost for a woman. Consider that even hot young women have been known to send postcoital pictures of themselves next to some celebrity out on social media – it takes celebrity for them to feel significantly outmatched, but it is possible.

    The important question to ask yourself is: what will give a woman the biggest status boost amongst her group? That’s the sort of thing she will try to have them see her doing, often whether she really wants to or not. She will deny her own instincts to abstain or bang in order to accomplish this.

  24. @scribblerg

    props on putting in the work and getting better…

    from the last OP

    The advice from YaReally and Scray and Sentient and HABD and the other great PUAs here (sorry if i didn’t name you) was what got me in action and learning.

    i just want to point out that ALL anybody else can do for you is offer up some explanation on how things work/guidance and some emotional support… the REST of it really is up to you and your OWN efforts (which are f*king HARD as shit to keep on pushing through…and ESPECIALLY getting out solo…)… so, feel great about turning your situ around… (and any resistance to internalizing THAT is FI pushing on you… ask me how i know…lol)

    just one more point…

    (bc the FI is cunning and pervasive…)

    But you have to get that I’m punching so far above my weight that it’s not funny. It’s so far beyond what I thought was possible not too long ago that it’s a bit of a shock.

    hypergamy doesn’t LET you ‘punch above your weight’… the girls you can ‘get’ are AT or BELOW your smv (your real smv… not the FI illusion of your smv)… ANY perspective/perception that you have to the contrary is FI/social conditioning pushing on you…

    good luck!
    @Fred Flange, the smart girl player

    me llike smat girls tu…lol…

    sooo, let that RP digest just a little more… bc AWALT… (really…lol)… and ‘smart girls are different’ is a type of Egalitarian Equalosity ™ …which is approved for distribution by the FI…


    If I hadn’t made this work with successful replications I wouldn’t share it. But everything else you say I had to learn the hard way over time. You correctly note that an eye-roll in response to a classic neg is (and has been and evermore shall be) the desired response. My point is that telling her she’s STOOPID won’t produce that consummation devoutly to be wished.

    not if you do it in an angry/butt-hurt way…lol… buut, if you tease her about it (and hold your frame), her panties are going to slide off with no problems…lol

    Just as any butthurt Nice-Guy-Of-OKCupid insult would be, as they say, contraindicated. So is being genuinely STOOPID yourself.

    not true… alpha stud thugs really are stoopid…lol… and can get smart girl’s panties wet just fine…

    Playing STOOPID and (somewhat) rude as part of the set and negging, however, works just fine. Like with any routine, you can’t over do it though.

    this could be taken two ways… and i agree with both…lol…

    calibration is always a key component… but any ‘offense’ you build up in ‘attraction phase’, just allows more comfort to be built up faster in ‘comfort phase’… (her response in comfort phase is usually something like ‘i KNEW you weren’t really an asshole’…lol…bc she is so attracted to you that she wants the D… and her hamster is trying to resolve that dissonance… = more comfort faster… bc more emotional roller coaster… it’s Synergistic ™!…lol)

    Also agree that, depending on the personality of the brainiac-ess,, more bad-boyishness is the indicated treatment and I was as surprised as any newbie once I finally got that through my SNAG-skull and it produced results.

    But I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now. Took a while but I got edumacated.

    good…lol… but here’s the next level of classes for your edumacation…lol…bc smart girl blind spot… is blind…lol

    If the smart gal is still sure she’s ALL THAT, next;

    can’t next a girl that you haven’t banged…lol…

    but the more important question is ‘how hot is she?’…lol… if she’s hot enough… then, handle this shit test…

    if she has no interests or skills beyond her area of expertise, next;

    you wouldn’t say that if she trained pron starlets…lol… but if she’s hot enough, handle this shit test…

    if she can’t take a joke, next;

    if she’s hot enough, handle this shit test…

    if she’s super PC (same thing really), next.

    handle this shit test… do you sense a theme here?…lol

    That’s the problem with having the smart-girl blind spot – sometimes it turns out they’re too “smart” for my own good, in which case, next.

    handle it…

    I made all of the mistakes you cite when I started out, so, like, yeah.

    it’s all good… practice is fun!…lol

    good luck!

    It all seems terribly confusing, until you apprehend the totality of the dynamic. The thing you must understand – and which Rollo doesn’t specifically address in this post – is that even when you use masculine, context-lite styles of communication with a women they will still interpret that communication in a feminine fashion – that is, in a fashion full of context based primarily upon emotional states.

    So the full lesson isn’t ‘communicate in a masculine fashion with her,’ It’s ‘communicate the way a masculine person would communicate if he knew what he was saying would be interpreted by a female brain.‘

    this is the essence of ‘just get it’… and it really does ping as ‘alpha stud’…lol

    good luck!

  25. @Scribbler, HABD and Forge

    HABD: “… so, feel great about turning your situ around… (and any resistance to internalizing THAT is FI pushing on you… ask me how i know…lol)”

    Forge: “So the full lesson isn’t ‘communicate in a masculine fashion with her,’ It’s ‘communicate the way a masculine person would communicate if he knew what he was saying would be interpreted by a female brain.‘”

    HABD: “this is the essence of ‘just get it’… and it really does ping as ‘alpha stud’…lol”

    My buddy, commenter Roused, has turned things around by applying red pill awareness and game and has found himself being the prize in plate spinning lately. And as he finding it to be damn fun being the prize.

    He is also handling it well and not using words but sticking to action. Acta non Verba.

    I mentioned he was going to have a damn hard time selling “it’s damn fun being the prize” to his blue pill guy friends. With a red pill lens it is his skill in awareness and game. With a blue pill lens–it’s you lucky bastard, why do you get to be the prize.

    And he admitted he was facing a shit storm of push back from the blue pills in his success. But he just shrugged at the push back and didn’t apologize for his change.

    And here is where he remains assertive without DEERing: Don’t defend, excuse, explain or rationalize when criticized for the Alpha prize success.

    As this relates to Alpha Male sub-communication and limited verbal overt communication, I point out this:

    From Franco’s Manual of Seduction:

    “The Alpha attitude is the attitude you need to assume to be attractive to women to the maximum level. The attitude is this:

    “In words, actions and omissions I speak, move and behave in such a way that I never ask for forgiveness about my personality and my sexual desire as a male. I am an impudent individual.”

  26. @Fred Flange, smart dude @HABD, the unsurpassed

    Smart girls are gamed exactly the same as the rest of the girls…smart girls have the same biological midbrain wiring…their shit tests will be a little more subtle sometimes and harder to smash, especially if they have high self-esteem…but “lol” usually will get you a passing grade…smart girls are more sensitive to subtle digs at their intelligence, which gives you more value when you unbalance them…apply more comfort if you do that…they tend to overvalue their SMV…disqualify that bullshit with “Oh yeah, smart girl’s pussies are so much more pleasurable.”

    Shy smart girls need more comfort than outgoing smart girls, just like the rest of the girls.

    Smart girls are a little more aware of your fuckups than the rest, so you’ll get shit-tested more often.

    The big plus for me when not banging is that the convos CAN be more interesting…but you have to move them into forebrain mode, which they will resist.

  27. @Sentient @Culum

    But seriously in your small town (and unless it is sub 2k people it’s not that small and there are likely larger places within 50 miles)

    There are large swaths of the U.S. (in the midwest, Idaho, Montana, Utah, Nevada) that don’t meet your criteria, but the likelihood of finding people there is small, so the likelihood of Culum being there is small.

    If you’re in a small town, you get to be the Exciting Mystery Man from the Big City ™.

  28. Happy New Year. Is this a resolution or maintenance?

    Have a few more weeks for the New Years openers… here is a way to jump past pleasantries and begin to seed a connection, using NLP technique

    You:Happy New Year
    Her: HNE
    You: What did you get up to? [this is a rope a dope… good structure to use overall, start with something lame to lower her expectations, you can still convey your frame via posture and eye contact]
    Her: blah blah.. what about you? [use her investment as a diagnostic, watch her reaction, how she tells you, how quick, manner etc. You can start to break eye contact here and look around, set up a mini roll off, see how she tries to engage you]
    You: [this part has a lot of flexibility… you can neg “Sounds boring” or challenge “how original, you got wasted” or sexualize “so how long was the midnight kiss… Guy or girl?” or just go down the middle with a straight response “interesting… well I did” and into a DHV story about your night… you do have one right?]
    You: Any resolutions? [start to laser, close space – this is contrasting the lame convo… still rope a doping but now confusing her a bit]
    Her: blah blah. You? [note if she doesn’t ask you, you can just go into “well my resolution is …” You can push the convo forward]
    You:Yeah… my resolution this year is to be more… open… to new experiences… right? [good spot for kino to arm, also nod head while saying right] so often we go through the day closed off to people… and miss out… on connections, you know? [slow the speech and spread out the time between points, laser ye, head nod – watch her face… see if a smile is forming at the corners of her mouth… start “lighting up”] I mean, like us now… You feel it… [nod head]
    Her:blah blah [laughs or smirks or nods etc.]
    You:[this is the action point… NOW you try to move her or take it forward… if you are in a good place, bounce “Here, come with me a sec, you seem interesting” and move toward a seat if in a coffee place, especially a counter seat and lock in… or try and pull for an instadate “come walk with me a sec, I want to grab a coffee (water etc.)”

    If bounce
    You: “So… tell me… what are you up to today” [logistics! and put her on the back foot a bit] and take it from there

    If no bounce
    Her: well I have to go do XYZ [ whatever]
    You: “Yeah. great. Well write down your number here and we can grab a drink sometime”

    Now when we get to feb 2… no more NYE openers… go to the Groundhogs day opener…

    You:Happy Groundhog’s Day!
    Her: LOL
    You: I feel like we’ve done this all before though, right? Met, fallen in love… fought… had crazy make up sex…? right??? No not you? wait was that a movie? IDK… So…. what are you up to?

    but is it a good place to pull for more….typically fit to unfit men?

    The key for anyplace where you might see the girls over and over is to:

    1. Spot the windows
    2. Act quickly on your desire
    3. Be cool with being rebuffed
    4. and if rebuffed, treat her pleasant, cause you never now when she comes back around…

    what I see form coffee shop game over and over is you can spike attraction real quick… but then you have to act on it… right away, because usually if you don’t follow through you will quickly move into the FZ and be just another smile and wave and 2 minute chat. SET yourself apart up front – you are a sexual being and sexually interested in her… OWN that frame and even if you don’t progress the interaction, she will still view you differently… So this is where being a cool just get it not hurt dude comes in… she sees you again after a rebuff and you are cool and pleasant and gets her to wondering… then in 2 months whenever she has broken off with whoever, she will often loop back around and reopen you a little more flirty… because you sent out the signal that you are a sexual dude… and THEN you jump through that moment of attraction. Rinse and repeat. women still love guys that own their sexuality and want to fuck them, even if they aren’t actually fucking them… It is rarely a misstep to put desire out there…

    Deal with it girl… LOL

  29. I have been immersed in red pill reading for a while now. First exposure was through The Return of Kings. I am older and in a LTR. Rollo, this blog is a godsend!

    Through my teens and 20’s I was blue pill to the core. In my 30’s I began to find my power. I held many rational (and thus red pill) ideas, but I did not control frame … either personally, professionally, or especially in my relationships. Sometimes I did, but more often than not, my life looked MGTOW with brief excursions out.

    Then, I jumped into an LTR. The inability to hold frame has been disastrous.

    After discovering TRM and TRP, I have probably experienced all 5 stages of unplugging. At this point, I fail to hold frame much more than I succeed, but when I succeed, it is like magic.


    I would like to thank you for sharing the details of your journey. It is an inspiration and sometimes almost a blow by blow script of what I go through. My LTR is getting better, and when I do it right, it is amazing the response I get.

    Being older, I have always had a bit of good luck with attractive younger women. Since, getting married I let that go completely. As a punctuation to my journey and this post, I have started reengaging. Not to cheat, but to further my transformation. I went to an after work happy hour with a coworker and actually opened the most attractive girl at the bar (fully 20 years my JR). For a few minutes I felt like a god, and my coworker was wide-eyed about what was happening. The exit was not a smooth as I would like … but hey, I am learning and not trying to close the deal.

  30. @Sentient, I’m stealing those lines. Thanks man (and I added it to your page I created: )

    Since the new year, I’ve decided to create an “open” MS Word file that lists all the opens I do. I’ll be damned about that old saying of writing something down to make it more concrete because now I feel like I can’t have a blank entry for a day. So far, I’ve opened every day. Try it peeps. It really is eye opening how life and work can get in the way and make you forget you haven’t opened for the day. That happened a few days ago, so I stopped at the grocery store after work just so I could get my open for the day.

    Love the ground hog day line. This reminds me that everyone here can check out this one site each day for open ideas (nationaldaycalendar[dot]com) For example, today is “national cuddle day” so see if you can think of a line for happy hour tonight. I have.

    Me to girl at bar: “Excuse me. What are you doing here?”
    Girl: “Ah, huh? What do you mean?
    Me: “Today is national snuggle day. Shouldn’t you be at home snuggling with your boyfriend.”

    Also, never did the coffee shop thingy before, but this new year I decided to hit Starbucks just for the open opportunities. Never had a latte either. Pretty good stuff.

  31. @Sentient

    and if rebuffed, treat her pleasant, cause you never now when she comes back around…

    What exactly do you mean by “rebuff”? Do you reengage girls who flake on you?

    My buddy says that, for him, the first bang is always awkward…do you find this to be the case?

    I haven’t–mine have always been awesome from the get go, but I don’t have a lot of data points.

    Rope a dope Game…lol, guilty as charged, yerronor.

    I’m 2 for 3 pulling girls to my truck…I’ve got some kind of thing going, lol. Last one was pretty much a lay down, if I wanted…previously, she had sought out hugs from me in social circle (lol, she wanted 3 long ones), asked me in front of the group to come to her party…she’s my kids’ age…and post Wall, but popular in the group

  32. ASD

    What exactly do you mean by “rebuff”? Do you reengage girls who flake on you?

    My buddy says that, for him, the first bang is always awkward…do you find this to be the case?

    Rebuff I mean you put it out there that you want to get sexual and she turns it down… Like you are bantering and go to kiss her and she pulls out… that kind of thing. Fine to see her again and be cool and fun and not butt hurt and not make another move even. Just like it never happened, but it did, so she and you are on a different wavelength now no matter what… you are no longer just a beta FZ guy, even if she wasn’t attracted enough to push it forward… This is what Secret Society stuff is all about… “getting it” at that level and being cool and social enough to not cause any drama or bad feelz at all to her… Of course now your having “gotten it” and behavior is now very attraction building… LOL

    Maybe your buddy is doing something wrong… My bangs are SNL and attraction is very high… swept up in the moment stuff.

  33. @RandBukowski

    You’re welcome.

    Her buying temp is hot, very hot. Sex evenings and before early AM before work and usually 50 SOG, red silk tie blindfold, terry cloth robe belt gag, knee high stockings, wrists tied to pull up bar, arms pinned down, chokes to the point of coughing. Slapping. Bra still on though. Prudence is a cardinal virtue, tut-tut.

    She was begging to go out tonight. She’s been good enough I guess.

    @ Sentient

    C’mon man! Already with Groundhog’s Day?

  34. @asd @habd
    (first mistyped that as “thesadgamer”, whoopsie – weren’t you also “theLSDgamer”? If not I’m stealing it)

    Fellow gentlecreatures: Your analyses put into better focus what I was trying happily to report. Indeed shy girls need more comfort, one way to do that is to let them talk about their expertise a little but not pull her too far into forebrain mode. Just enough to show you “respect” her abilities (just mistyped “abletitties”, that too). You must ASAP then segue back into hindbrain, warm her up, she’s not there in the club/party to talk about working OT on system testing protocols, after all. The harder-edged ones? Butt heads. Why not?

    That the shit tests can be both more subtle and more intense is exactly what happens out on the veldt. But it became a game and honestly is part of my jones for that sort of gal. Once parried the more sexual stuff goes a lot easier (I actually used that “abletitties” once stumbling over a sentence, then grinned and said “oh what a giveaway!” which worked well both as a hook and a further “in”, turned out she was into Monty Python and that’s one of their catchphrases).

    BTW I was never really Mr. Next and reviewing my prior deafening report I see it looks like I was. If anything I was Mr. Opposite – I would be trying to Betamax to the point my teeth were getting kicked in. As I earned my blue ball belt It was more like, I’d spot the pigeon, but if she’s got, say, a gender studies text I’d bail, or if the initial exchange felt cold I let it go, no real time spent, same as any open that doesn’t “take.”. But open I do. And agree that there’s degrees of PC – the mild flavor of it you sure can push through, yes, rather fun actually.

  35. Fine.

    Happy Groundhog’s Day! It’s a weird holiday, ya know. Do you like it?

    Yes> I pegged you early on as a furry.

    No> Word, never into badgers. I’m a beaver guy.

  36. Painful observation today at lunch.

    walk in, nearly empty. Guy and a girl at table, girl is young 7 blonde. Looks at me, I look at her. she says “hello!”, I say “Hey” and take my seat, with my back to them. LOL not a good sign.

    anyhow I’m overhearing their conversation while eating. Not bad, she is very giggly and he seems OK… nothing strained, pretty casual. No down spots in the convo, flowing…

    He goes to use the bathroom. he comes back, she says its her turn. She comes back. he says, OK lets go, she says “we haven’t paid yet” he goes….. “I paid already”…. she is like “what I don’t believe you, I can’t just walk out”… He says “come on” She says “Show me the receipt” He digs in his pocket and produces the receipt. she says “ohhhh you paid? Oh I would have paid… that’s so sweet”. He seems pleased with this. she says “You’re sneaky”, he laughs this off. They walk out front.

    They are saying goodbye, he goes to hug her and she steps back and shakes his hand… then they walk off in the same direction, must have parked near each other…

    she was friendly to him but watching that pull back…


    A what seemed to be pretty good interaction, ruined by a scheming moment of beta…

  37. At work, in more feminine pervasive work settings (e.g. marketing department), female co-workers today seem to make painstaking efforts to summarize communications in a more masculine, spartan, just the facts, approach. Maybe I’m a lone in noticing this.

    But regardless, the purpose of their communication so often remains that same: consensus-building, validation and – for the love of God – avoidance of reproach, criticism and conflict.
    That would be horrible!

    The comment above by a male manager/director/business owner resonated with my own experience immediately.

    My observation is that male managers tend to be wholly unconcerned about consensus and approval, except as a procedural formality of the business for authority. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just they have their own piled a shit to work on, and don’t have the time to play nanny to every mental weakling on staff.

    If I had a dollar for every time a male manager would look at me with “I’m busy, now WTF do you want?”. Yeah, it’s curt, rude and even a little funny, but I actually gravitate toward and appreciate this tone and attitude much more, because I know a.) we can both cut through the shit and b.) get stuff done. c.) not waste each other’s time.

    Women typically despise such managers because his nasty words are not nice and make them “feel bad”. He will never be a happy soundboard for her sensibilities.

  38. I love your fantasy, Tomassi. It would be quite delicious if it were actually true. Unfortunately your so called red pill alpha is usually to be found at 2 AM drowning himself in whiskey and crying in his cups to any woman who will listen to “what wretched man I am.”

    I am however, always amused by how men like to perceive themselves as rational, emotionally detached, while proceeding to have meltdown after meltdown that can only be described as a manly failure to address his own feelings.

  39. @Sentient

    Thanks for your response. I’d appreciate it if you’d answer my question about flaking since this is a major feature of today’s woman. I’ve got a few questions about flaking

    1. How do you handle flaking? Obviously, a girl who flakes is a time-waster. At what point is it a real flake…only one day’s notice…one hour’s notice…no show…how do you handle these? What if a girl cancels a date with three days’ notice, but the reason isn’t plausible?

    2. Do you double-book? Is that two girls same time or an alternative activity?

    3. Is flaking a major offense for you? What are your boundaries around flaking (if any) where you cross a girl off your list if she violates them?

    For me, any flake is a one and done, but I am willing to be persuaded. If a girl flakes on me, she had better have a solid reason and had better make it up with more than just a verbal apology…think Farm Boy’s sammiches. Cook something for me or do some feminine chore for me. I don’t get mad…she just is a time waster if she flakes…especially a hard flake.

  40. @Sentient

    Maybe your buddy is doing something wrong… My bangs are SNL and attraction is very high… swept up in the moment stuff.

    As an example, on his last first lay with a broad recently, he didn’t have a condom, so he didn’t finish. Or maybe he just got a bj with another girl on his first lay with her.

  41. time for a bit o fahnnn

    so called red pill alpha is usually to be found at 2 AM drowning himself in whiskey

    It must be 2 a.m. somewhere…time for Clan McGregor

    crying in his cups to any woman who will listen to “what wretched man I am.”

    Boohoo…I’ve only killed three today and fucked a dozen

    a manly failure to address his own feelings.

    feelings…nothing more than feelings…I wish I’ve never met you, girl
    hope you’ll never come again….

    Woh-oh-ohh feeeewiiiings…

  42. insanitybites – she’s always out there somewhere, watching over us. I take comfort from it. A woman who cares.

  43. ” . . . your so called red pill alpha is usually to be found at 2 AM drowning himself in whiskey and crying in his cups to any woman who will listen to “what wretched man I am.””

    No spelling errors. I might argue that it’s missing a comma, but, whatever, it’s well formatted.

    She’s been getting in some practice at that one handed typing thang.

  44. ASD

    90% of my game is SNL stuff and the rest fucking around day game instadates and a tiny bit of local girls in situ in the moment. So I don’t deal with flaking at all.

    I think I would handle it like Leo D… Amused, not butt hurt, but not reward. From an abundance mindset. Move along and if she chases, be socially adept to give her the chance to acknowledge her misstep without expecting anything.

  45. @Forge the Sky

    We haven’t seen that chart in a while. Isn’t it ironic? Yes Alanis, it’s like rain on your wedding day.

    The more OMG-focused these comments sections become, the less we hear about that chart. Who out there is actually having sex with girls near the top of their peak SMV? You can be as butthurt as you want about it, but most of the men that fill these comment sections have attached themselves to a woman who’s >1 on that chart.

    I gotta laugh particularly at married Sentient bragging about his “SNL bangs”. Task the mask off buddy, you can get outta that closet now.


    You’re aiming at the wrong target. If you read his work, you’d see he is passionate about certain things and angry about certain things. He’s not just waving his dick around and keyboard posturing about what a cool alt-right bro he is. Lazy shit, lady.

  46. “He’s not just waving his dick around and keyboard posturing about what a cool alt-right bro he is.”

    Sure he is. Nothing wrong with that at all, it’s what we all do when we blog and write and interact.

  47. “The more OMG-focused these comments sections become….”

    …..the more you miss the guys that took their ball and went home. “(idiomatic) To cease participating in an activity that has turned to one’s disadvantage, especially out of spite, or in a way that prevents others from participating as well.

    “Do you feel the need to jump in and correct others when you see them making a mistake? Do you get a little rush out of being the hero when you are offering criticism or telling someone that they’re doing something wrong? Are you just trying to help?

    Well, I have bad news for you. That urge, that tendency, that behavior, is one of the more reliable Gamma tells. You see, you’re not the reality police, and often people have different objectives than those you impute to them.”

  48. I do believe that last link (to Alpha Game Plan) applies to the un-christian Sister Christian spam too.

  49. “I do believe that last link (to Alpha Game Plan) applies…”

    Well, I always say you should write what you know and Vox Day is certainly the expert on all things gamma.

  50. “…I always say you should write what you know…”

    I’m sure you do. All you’ve ever posted here is non sequiturs and spam. All you know are your emotions with no trace of logic. You know that doesn’t fly in a male space, right?

  51. “I was just wondering: Do shit tests from older uglier women serve any purpose, do they work?”

    Does that little gravatar work to disguise a transgenered man trolling the manosphere trying to learn how to be a woman?

  52. “I am however, always amused by how men like to perceive themselves as rational, emotionally detached, while proceeding to have meltdown after meltdown that can only be described as a

    Well, lots of people like to think they’re “rational” and “objective” yet are the farthest thing from it. It’s not unique to men.

    “manly failure to address his own feelings.”

    That’s not a feature of masculinity though…

    Tell me of all the epic or tragic heros that fail to address their feelings… Failure to address feelings implies fear (blax 😉) and since when is that masculine?

    “Rationality” has been inculcated into the liberal equalism narrative and is, like so many other perfectly descriptive terms, now completely worthless.

  53. “Rationality” has been inculcated into the liberal equalism narrative and is, like so many other perfectly descriptive terms, now completely worthless.”

    Yes precisely! Just when I give up all hope in these comments, somebody finally says something sensible.

  54. “Tell me of all the epic or tragic heros that fail to address their feelings…”

    Those feelings are WRONG! They don’t count. And you didn’t take out the trash on your way to fight the dragon. Five years ago when you went out to fight the bandits you didn’t take out the trash either. You NEVER take out the trash. And another thing . . .

  55. “Does that little gravatar work to disguise a transgenered man trolling the manosphere trying to learn how to be a woman?”

    Oh, the irony.

    Does your little Gravatar work to disguise a grandma trolling the manosphere in a quest for her own identity and growth, for some understanding of logic, rules, the games people play, authority, time and death?

    Alice in Wonderland’s quest is filled with good and bad choices, but she learns from her experiences and ultimately becomes more mature emotionally in how she deals with her problems and in the way she perceives different situations. You should try that in how you perceive different blogs. And don’t be so emotional or inebriated. Quit whining wining so much.

  56. “Does your little Gravatar work to disguise a grandma trolling the manosphere in a quest for her own identity and growth, for some understanding of logic, rules, the games people play, authority, time and death?”

    It’s not a disguise at all. And I seldom drink wine.

  57. “It’s not a disguise at all.”

    Translation: My Gravatar represents “I’m a grandma using an Alice in Wonderland avatar while trolling the manosphere in a quest for her own identity and growth, for some understanding of logic, rules, the games people play, authority, time and death?”

    Go spam somewhere else.

  58. Works all day, goes to a wake, beyond stressed about dealing with customers and meeting some deadlines, is completely exhausted, comes on to RM to take a much needed break, then sees insanitybytes posting on the latest article:

  59. @kfg

    But she didn’t mean that. Didn’t you know she just didn’t really know? How dare you judge her for something you didn’t tell her! But the thing is, why should she know this? She probably isn’t listening to you now because YOU told her you were the Chosen One, twice, just because some dude with a beard said so and you saved the world afterwards, with no regards to how that might make her feel.

  60. @Sentient -actually, it’s not that much bigger 2k, although there is a bigger town an hour or so away.

    But I take your broader point and I’m trying to implement it. It doesn’t help that everyone knows everyone else’s face around here so there isn’t as much safe space to mess up. But I am very much trying to be “on” all the time instead of just in Big City. It almost feels a lot of the time like I’m two different people depending on which city I’m in.

    Re RSD, I get that I’ll get way more infield experience doing what you suggest, but surely there’s a benefit to both (a) the state boost and (b) an expert diagnosing and coaching me through sticking points in person that I’d get from a bootcamp? I mean, imagine YaReally coaching in person – this would be like that, except, you know, not free.

    Again, that said, my focus next month in Big CIty will be to hit it much harder – stay out much later, be more disciplined about being out, etc. No more going out for a couple hours and calling it done..

  61. Culum

    @Sentient -actually, it’s not that much bigger 2k, although there is a bigger town an hour or so away.

    Why are so you tied to the small town? You are single, make good money. Why not at least move to the bigger town as a start? Still close to your current place.

    On RSD – if time and money are no object, do both. I question two things though for you at your stage now, whether the RSD Boot Camp is a buffer (delay) or you need their approval and why you wouldn’t want to take your own adventure and massively develop your frame by succeeding on your own. That kind of feedback loop is so powerful, and it avoids the nagging thought that you need RSD at your side once they aren’t.

    Don’t sell yourself short, you got this. You have the skill you just really need the want to increase that 1% more to the tipping point.

  62. Imagine that – Rollo writes an article about fem-centric communication and a fussy old woman shows up to chide him for not begging her leave to do so.

  63. The more experienced i’ve gotten with male-female dynamics and game. The less care i’m beginning to have at the element of control I have over women. Trying to be alpha at all times is simply exerting way too much energy. It’s important to be conscious of it in the beginning.

    But with enough experience, you need to just drop it and trust in your abilities as a man to intuitively respond in the right way and trust that your past experiences give you the correct things to say and do.

    With regards to communication styles. I don’t think it should be this black and white. Some of the most deep conversations I’ve had with girls have come precisely because I’ve encouraged her to go deep and to open up by being less logical and more emotional. Women want to go deep, and to do this. A man has to encourage that by getting her to open up. It’s simply impossible to do this by being logical.

    It’s no surprise that these girls are still in my life and massively attracted despite being in relationships and a few being married off. I could still fuck their brains out in a heartbeat due to the massive amounts of emotional and time investment they’ve given me.

    The key is to be three-dimensional as a person and in your communication. Being Alpha is great but its far more effective to be flexible and to adapt. Something thats rigid will always eventually break.

  64. I am siding Sent…. you’re likely to get more ass from the stories about an open ocean spear fishing trip in the Ascension Islands then some boot camp. Or taking your Harely cross country or bear hunting in Idaho or MMA training and a couple of semi pro fights.

  65. Rollo writes an article about fem-centric communication and a fussy old woman shows up to chide him for not begging her leave to do so.”

    Rubbish. I don’t chide him for such things and he certainly doesn’t have to beg my leave.

    I chide him for believing he can teach masculinity, completely devoid of any virtues, faith, hope, love, all the things that give men their beauty, their worth and value in the world. Without these things, you’ve got nothing but an empty, broken praxeology, worshiping the 16 points of poon.

      1. “Hypergamy doesn’t care about virtue, faith, hope, love, all the things that give men their beauty, their worth and value in the world.”

        Neither does war, poverty, or cancer, but when you try to separate men from the things that give them their beauty, what your’re left with isn’t worth preserving. Why should anyone care about a random bit of biological goo, programmed to do nothing more than compulsively hump someones leg? Men have souls and spirits, Tomassi, depth, great beauty, they are capable of such virtue, they were designed for so much more than this.

  66. “I was just wondering: Do shit tests from older uglier women serve any purpose, do they work?”

    The purpose served is to obtain attention, in any form, from a high-value man. They work at a base level. At work, I must deal with a fugly 300 lb govt regulatory clerk who has the final say if we ship or not. She’ll create issues out of nothing, just to engage me in conversation. I’m curt and speak only about the issue, then walk out the door while she’s still talking. Worst part of my day.

  67. ” . . . masculinity, completely devoid of any virtues, faith, hope, love, all the things that give men their beauty, their worth and value in the world . . .”

    . . . of women.

    Who’s a good tool? Yeeees, you are. Good tool. Hope for a cookie.

  68. Why should anyone care about a random bit of biological goo, programmed to do nothing more than compulsively hump someones leg?

    Rough translation: “I never was a sexual object, am not a sexual object, and never will be a sexual object. Ye cruel gods!”

  69. “Why should anyone care about a random bit of biological goo, programmed to do nothing more than compulsively hump someones leg?”

    Baaaaaad tool! No, that just makes it worse. You should know what you did. Go out in the garage and think it over for a while. You can come out when you’re ready to apologize.

    No cookie.

  70. Funny, you never hear inanity ranting about “those jezebels”…her bible must be missing the pages about Delilah, Jezebel, etc.

    Even from a tradcon perspective, the CC riding by women 14- 30 must cause worry. But that never gets discussed. Using tradcon standards, by comparison with young women, most men are paragons of virtue.

  71. Women don’t feature too much in the bible. (Just like Africans, we don’t feature too much in the science books, you know. Heheheee… I KNOW Subody gonna kiiiilllll MEEEE just now…aarrrgghhhhh!!!!). But at least Africans who got into science books got in for the right reasons. But women and the bible? Even the few who got in, half of them for the wrong reasons.

  72. @Grammy Bytes

    I chide him for believing he can teach masculinity, completely devoid of any virtues, faith, hope, love, all the things that give men their beauty, their worth and value in the world.

    Must ALL virtues be spiritual? What does the Bible say?

    “The glory of young men is their strength.”

    Why have you imbibed some clueless churchian’s spiritualizing codswallop?

  73. Hypergamy doesn’t care about virtue, faith, hope, love, all the things that give men their beauty, their worth and value in the world.
    Yeah this.

    My recent pof 46yo disabled FB dumped me this week (via text of course). My response was “ok”.

    From the get-go marriage was off the table (for me that is). She was looking for someone to marry and provide for her. I flat out said no at the beginning so the deal was she keeps looking while we date/fuck. After 3 months of persistent ‘no and this is why’ she dumps me say ‘she couldn’t change my mind about marriage’. She probably found some beta and didn’t have the balls (!) to say so… Don’t talk to me about virtue.

  74. @Cheupez: “Africans, we don’t feature too much in the science books, you know.”

    Depends on what you mean by “Africans.”

    @SFC Ton: “Does deep conversation mean being balls deep down her throat?”

    It means “letting her yammer on about shit.”

    “Because otherwise I don’t see the point”

    Yammering on has the same effect on women as going all out on a heavy bag has on men.
    Unlike men, however, who do not attribute feeling better to the heavy bag itself, women will attribute feeling better to the man they yammered at.

    Thus increasing the odds that when she stops you will end up balls deep down her throat.

  75. “She was looking for someone to marry and provide for her.”

    i.e. she was a virtuous woman seeking a virtuous man.

    “From the get-go marriage was off the table (for me that is).”

    i.e. you are a random bit of biological goo.

    ” . . . so… Don’t talk to me about virtue.”

    Remember, as per above, these words don’t mean the same thing to her that they do to you.

  76. Women have no virtue beyond what best suits her. Right now

    Masculine virtue is a while other matter, but what most men consider virtue has been corrupted by the FI

  77. As therationalmale comments turn back into the usual manosphere circle jerk

    I’m still curious to know if you think RSD’s, now confirmed, move towards the Zig Ziglar/Tony Robbins/Dr. Dyer profit model counts as a “circle jerk”?

  78. @Rollo and KFG

    Well I just started off the New Year with an entertaining adventure that exceeds any red-pill rabbit-hole adventure that I have had in all of last year. And I had a lot of those. And I frickin love red pill and game. I can’t tell you how much real power I have now to control my circumstances. And it is damn fun.

    I just finished The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. (it’s long) It pretty much explains all about sexual selection in men and females in concrete “reason’s” why terms. It is Acceptance Phase of red pill thought personified.

    It also explains the entirety of the Great Debates on TRM in the year 2016. The why the fuck did they happen aspect. A lot of the OMG’s knew subconsciously and abstractly the things that the book explained cognitively and concretely.

    Rollo, I’m surprised at your restraint in the Old Wise Guy vs. the PUA debates with YaReally in the past. PUA Game is a complement to Red Pill Awareness deductive reasoning. And there is nothing wrong with it (except for you know what…) By the Ridley book took all the deduction out of the equation red pill equation and made it pretty much inductive reasoning.

    Holy Shit, that was a great red pill read. (But don’t try reading it at home if you are not out of the first four stages of Unplugging, it might send you back the wrong way out of triage.)

    And a question for Rollo: How long ago did you read this book? It seems significantly foundational for all of your writings–going back to the beginning.

    1. @SJF, I’d read it some time ago, like back in my SoSuave days. I just recently got the audio book and have been listening while I’m doing my art projects. So it kinda reminded me of a few things.

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