Damaged Goods

damaged_goods

As a part of my line of work doing liquor branding promos, I’ve frequently had to do spots with (terrestrial) radio talk shows for events and such. I’ve had to familiarize myself often with these personalities; some I became long time friends with, others kind of burned out or became victims of what they thought was a greater social proof than they actually had.

One thing I’ve noted in working with the men who host these shows is that more often than not they suffer from deeply invested Blue Pill mindsets with regard to women. Many of them eventually invited women into their male space as co-hosts to help with appealing to the female demographic, and like all other “female friendly” ventures, the character of the show shifts to promoting the same feminized boilerplate we see in Purple Pill forums and blogs that began with a more Red Pill tone.

Almost invariably there develops a segment or some call in bit where the host and hostess(es) attempt to suss out the romantic problems of a caller or emailer. If you listen to any semi-popular local morning commute show you’ll get this segment at least once or twice a week. All of them follow the same format. All of them rattle off the same Blue Pill tropes even those without the aid of a Red Pill Lens are familiar with – open communication, keep it fresh, meeting (her) needs, be supportive, etc. and all the standards you can expect from a society that doesn’t question the rote memorization of Oprah or Dr. Phil’s idioms.

If you do have a reasonably attuned Red Pill Lens you’ll just grind your teeth at all of it, but it confirms and highlights the Beta inside the host despite all his other blusterings on the show. It also serves to highlight the saturation of the Blue Pill’s conditioning reach into society.

So it was on one of these shows I was listening to this week that the ‘morning zoo’ decided to take a stab at one emailer’s very common problem. It was the typical Dead Bedrooms problem you’ll find in the subredd of the same name; “My wife is frigid, how do I get her to want to fuck me?” However, the story had a slight twist that nicely dovetails into a topic I’ve wanted to explore.

In this man’s story, he’d married a woman for all the right Blue Pill reasons. He loved her, “connected” with her on what he imagines are deep emotional levels, was supportive, dedicated, but was only able to have sex with her in as limited and as lackluster a way as she felt ‘comfortable‘ in having with him. After a year and a half of marriage, she’d completely “shut down” on him sexually. Anytime he initiated she would recoil from him and begin to cry.

There was no elaboration on her part as to why she was crying and up to the point of his seeking advice she’d offered no reason for her reluctance to fuck him. Fast forward to now and it’s been almost a year for him without sex with his wife, no explanation, and his ‘needs‘ are being unmet. He’s emotionally invested in her in the way you’d expect a Blue Pill, dutiful Beta would be, so his inner turmoil is one of the Paradox of Commitment conflict with his ‘need‘ and expectation of having sex with his wife.

As I said, this is standard Dead Bedrooms fare for the majority of men who married while fully immersed in a Blue Pill world. Unfortunately, we don’t have much more to go on – there were no descriptions of background, histories, family particulars, etc. given, however, my guess would be his wife is experiencing  the very common post-marriage Beta ‘buyers remorse’. However, this is why I thought the analysis and advice on the part of the hosts (1 male host, 1 male, and 2 female co-hosts) were very telling about the state of the Blue Pill world.

Presuming Abuse

The first reflexive interpretation on the part of the women was that this wife had some form of sexual abuse in her personal history and the husband’s initiating sex was triggering some unresolved sex issues she’d never dealt with and apparently never revealed to her husband when they were having sex in the years leading up to it. Again, there was no information about this from the emailer, but this was the first presumption the female co-hosts jumped to whenever a woman is described as crying about having sex.

We don’t really know if this is the case, but I found it interesting how useful that presumption is for women. In almost every social infraction we are expected to presume a blameless state with women. Whether that stems from rape allegations, ‘slut shaming’, past sexual history, red-handed infidelity, or, in this case, the presumed possibility of sexual abuse in a woman’s past, we are expected, on whole, as a society to presume that even the possibility is the actual fact.

Even when the actual fact is disproven, and the fault or choice blatantly falls upon the woman in question, the rationale and after-the-fact absolving of that woman of her own culpability is still expected to take precedence over the actual fault. For example, when I first detailed the situation of the woman and her husband in

For example, when I first detailed the situation of the woman and her husband in Saving the Best the reflex on the part of virtually all women responding to this story (as well as the relinks to it) and most Blue Pill men was to presume she had some damaged past where she was trying to find some emotional connection with the men she was having amateur porn orgies with in her college years. The acceptable, socially reflexive presumption was to give this woman a plausible reason – and one designed to evoke feminine victim sympathy – for her actions rather than consider that she was simply living in the moment and following her Hypergamous imperatives at the time.

Of course, the simple answer was that the husband was put into the same Dead Bedrooms scenario most men in his situation are placed in. He was the dutiful Beta in Waiting and “married a slut who fucks (him) like a prude”. There are over 30,000 subscribers on the dead bedrooms subreddit, this is not an uncommon occurrence, but just as common is the social convention of redirecting the fault on the part of the husband for his ‘selfish concerns’ for ever having been upset by this revelation about his wife. He was the bad guy for feeling ‘underserved’ with regards to his wife’s genuine, unobligated, sexual desire.

He’s the bad guy for not being understanding and supportive of the reflexive rationale that his wife must’ve been damaged goods (and damaged by other, equally horrible, men) before he decided to marry her. He’s responsible for coming to terms with it on his own. So it’s either face that or risk being perceived as the same kind of ‘typical’ asshole man who brought her to this by abandoning her in divorce.

‘Abuse’ as a Tool

‘Abuse’ is easily one of the most generic and utilitarian of catch terms and social conventions available to women living in a feminine-primary social order. It’s ambiguous, but also carries enough associative horror to get others to accept it at face value while killing any need for the uncomfortable explanations that would qualify it. A woman says “I was abused” and it ends the discussion regardless of any mitigating factors or particulars about it – and despite the particulars of what she claims ‘abuse’ to avoid. There simply is no qualifying it. If she feels abused it is abuse, and don’t worsen the situation by asking her to qualify it.

Claims of prior abuse are the perfect tool for women to explain past sexual indiscretions as well as to explain frigidity with a husband or a boyfriend, even those with whom she’d been sexual with before. Needless to say, this is a very useful tool for explaining and excusing women’s Hypergamous impulses and concurrent behaviors, however, I should note that the ‘abuse’ social convention will become less and less tenable as Open Hypergamy becomes more widespread and embraced.

For Beta men – Blue Pill men plugged into the narrative of unqualified female victimhood – there is a very real risk of becoming trapped in a cycle of White Knighting against the evils of ‘typically masculine’ men who would ‘abuse’ his princess while simultaneously reinforcing his Beta status in avoiding the perception of being an ‘abuser’ himself.

Knights Against Abuse

The men and boys I detail in Promise Keepers are prime examples of this looping presumption of abuse. For the most, these men had, or understood that they had, “abusive” fathers whom they swore never to emulate in their adult lives. While that abusiveness may or may not be factual the impression of it is what molds that man’s life, but at the same time predisposes him to the Savior Schema that only cements him into a personal life founded in Blue Pill White Knight heroics.

There develops an internal conflict for these heroes of abuse because their dedication to themselves as their own Mental Point of Origin will always be compromised by a Blue Pill conditioned responsibility of supportiveness for women. For the patient, waiting Beta, the man who’s played by what he believes are the rules for the better part of his teens and 20s, there is a unique anger he experiences when his ‘dream girl’ (or one that closely aligns with that ideal) isn’t sexual with him in the way he’s imagined women are with men during their 20s.

She’s come to him in her Epiphany Phase and after all the sexual indiscretions and self-discovery of her 20s, she finally wants to “do things right” by making him wait to have sex (so he won’t think she’s easy) and when they do it’s inhibited or becomes so once he’s locked into emotional or marital commitment with her. Now add to this the presumption of, or stated account of, ‘abuse’ she’s experienced in the past with the ‘typical’ men she was discovering herself sexually with.

You might even add the child of one of her former ‘abusers’ into the mix with whom he’s expected to form a paternal bond with. That Beta now hates those ‘abusers’ with more passion than when he was brooding about them banging the girls he wanted to fuck in his 20s because they ruin women in both the short and long term to him. They’ve ruined his girl for him now that she’s come to her senses and chosen him to pair with “forever”.

Now she’s a mess, a mess he’s expected to untangle and heal and reconstruct into something resembling the sexual dream girl he’s convinced she used to be, and all because of that “Bro”, the abuser, they guy(s) she had to discover for herself she ‘really didn’t need in her life’.

She’s damaged goods, but to that Beta, she’s blameless in her having been “abused” because she didn’t know any better that ‘typical’ men, the ones she chose, would abuse her. Now their abuses are his problems and he’s reminded of that every time she cries when he initiates sex with her.

The Utility of Damaged Goods

In this context, the social convention that is “abuse” becomes another form of insurance of Hypergamy for women. That presumption of blameless abuse locks Beta providers into a Dream Killers schema to the point that they will prioritize the healing of their ‘abused’ princess, the one who would otherwise be his dream girl, above his own imperatives, aspiration and goals in order to prove his quality as a supporter of women.

For women, the assurances that the social convention of ‘abuse’ represents also comes with a measure of internal conflict. From the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy, her subconscious hates the idea of being obligated to fuck her Beta Bucks provider, but again, subconsciously, she needs (or feels she needs) his support, provisioning, and emotional availability. However, for all of his self-evincing support, comfort and emotional investment in being a “better man” than the nebulous ‘abusers’ of her past, those anti-seductive aspects only serve to remind and confirm to her that he ‘doesn’t get it‘ and she’s obligated to be intimate and affectionate in a seemingly genuine way if she’s to maintain the provisional relationship.

The default presumption of ‘abuse’ fills the need for a buffer between reconciling the Hypergamous want of an Alpha lover and the provisional, emotional need for a Beta’s resources and comforts. The DeadBedrooms and MarriedRedPill subredds (not to mention the MMSL forums) are littered with the stories of men who discovered (sometimes secretly) how sexual their ‘abused’ wives were in their Party Years or what their wives’ real sexual appetites were for other men after their divorce.

Now, as I close here, let me state that I’m not discounting the real possibilities of actual cases of abuse among women. I have no doubt I’ll generate a slew of disgruntled comments from women relating their personal tragedies in today’s comment thread, but my point in this essay isn’t to question women’s legitimate claims of abuse. Rather it is to lay bare the utility invested in presuming the legitimacy of abuse whenever a woman even hints at the possibility of it by crying before sex or any number of other behaviors or mental states that would be affirmed or excused by just the claim.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

Leave a Reply

  Subscribe  
Notify of
newlyaloof
Guest
newlyaloof
Offline

And speaking of damaged goods and finding the red pill light:

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

“Like you should be able to get girls attracted enough that you’re telling THEM “no” and THEY’RE trying to convince YOU to fuck them. THAT’S when you understand indirect game.” Ahhh….. reminds me of a story. Albeit one without intentional understanding. A story of indirect, direct, disqualification and hand rape… LOL Hand rape? To @cullum @Reco @hunter @wala and the rest A little recap of recent adventure and some insights… for whatever it may be worth. At an upscale hotel, finish with work dinner, head to bar. It’s a large bar and lounge. Maybe 40-50 people spread out at tables… Read more »

scray
Guest
scray
Offline

@ya “Scray found out that direct game is super congruent to him, and that’s awesome. And everyone SHOULD experiment with going hardcore direct for a while (do it smart, open, qualify her and if she qualifies herself to you (aka an ioi, aka you have attraction), pull the trigger and go for the kiss off that ioi…that’s going to be your highest success rate, though you CAN just randomly kiss every girl you say hello to, you’ll just be less calibrated and end up with more hit or miss, but even then try just staying in set and brushing it… Read more »

stuffinbox
Guest
stuffinbox
Offline

How many bikers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None the bitch can cook in the dark.

AnonS
Guest
AnonS
Offline

I assume that like myself most Christians men here are more loyal to the truth then any church; many weight the arguments for and against theism and are still forced to side with theism. The “just be pragmatic” view only works if there isn’t actually any judgment in the afterlife, because if there is then being pragmatic means caring about your immortal soul over temporary pleasure. It is either true or false. The problem is that girls don’t care about the truth and are mostly loyal to churches that give them the emotions they need; meaning “Christian” girls aren’t much… Read more »

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

Religion does not equal Christianity:

comment image

comment image

Growing a beard is not a habit. Shaving is a habit.

For the Christians in the audience:

“The beard is a masculine ornament, given to us by God not for any practical use, but for our dignity” – St. Augustine

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Anons…

Girls care very much about the truth however to them truth IS emotion…

Try and think of a situations where a girl does something against her emotion in the moment. Hard isnt it?

Ties back to the importance of congruence authenticity and frame…

The Question
Guest

@ Rollo Tomassi

You’re absolutely right about the state of the Church in the West.

What makes it so dangerous for a Blue Pill man is that it is ground-zero for girls entering the epiphany phase. The single men who remain in the church are the ones will be pressured to fulfill their role in that strategy and will be treated with hostility if they don’t. I personally anticipate a renewed church “man up” campaign somewhere in the near future as the next wave of twenty-somethings near 30 and beyond.

YaReally
Guest
YaReally
Offline

@scray “the only PROBLEM is that a lot of guys like to equate indirect with NOT PULLING THE TRIGGER.” Right, the key is that with indirect I’m NOT pulling the trigger because I haven’t decided that I WANT her yet, she still has work to do to EARN me, VS not pulling the trigger because I’m SCARED to. There’s a HUGE difference in your subcomms when you’re screening/qualifying her VS when you’re hiding your intent. I’m not engaging her to try to get her, although I’m totally open to it and she can tell that from my subcomms, I’m engaging… Read more »

hoellenhund2
Guest

So really when women are complaining about men not wanting to commit, it’s generally the high value men they are complaining about. And it should be added that, as we know, the women doing this complaining are almost always middle-class, carousel-riding urban women in their early 30s. In other words, a rather small demographic. Has anyone heard, say, a 19-year-old or a 22-year-old woman complain that men don’t want to commit? The X-Box/porn/ESPN crowd isn’t even on the radar screen and frankly they don’t count from the perspective of women. But they get complained about anyway, because they frustrate female… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Good stuff yareally… FWIW Mystery, in the White Party infield, I saw another video with him and he said he got with the fiance girl… so there you go…

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

No fan of organized religion. Big fan of spirituality, God. The 2 are not the same thing. People miss that. ” I’m *religion name here* and we believe *religious/man made concept* and our churches are built with no unnatural chemicals and beards and moustaches are not allowed so that the Lord can better see your face. Our *designated church leader name* says that the Lord frowns upon laughter, because it is not serious, and the absence of seriousness leads to many Level #2 sins, which can only be absolved by immersing oneself in blessed oil of the cod immediately following… Read more »

Ang Aamer
Guest
Ang Aamer
Offline

Great Vid for you to comment on Rollo

Very illuminating… at the end they claim Men have all the power in the Marriage market – which is interesting because Frivorce is NOT mentioned

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader
Offline

Newlyaloof
I’ve had women recently see me, smile,and look away shyly as if my gaze caught them doing something they were not supposed to do.

Yeah, it’s not your facial fungus per se, it’s your subcomms. Improve your subcomms and you will be noticed by women; in your case, maybe the face fuzz gives you more confidence, which in turn comes out in the form of subcommunications.

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Ang Aamer They get a lot right, but they fail to mention (or miss) a couple things: 1) ATTRACTIVE men have their pick of the sexual market. The bottom 80% are plentiful in the marriage/commitment market, but women don’t want them. Women collude in excluding them while rewarding attractive men. 2) Women are willing to share valuable men, even in the absence of exclusive commitment. That’s why the situation won’t change any time soon. You can’t stuff abortion and the pill back in to Pandora’s box, so the market will just continue to get more competitive as guys like YaReally… Read more »

scribblerg
Guest
scribblerg
Offline

This just in. In case we had any doubt that Disney was pushing the Warrior Princess vibe at us very heavily and intentionally as a social engineering exercise and will continue to do so with the Star Wars franchise, just read this article. It’s so over, they are bragging about it in public, at a White House “Summit on Gender Bias”. http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/04/07/disney-strong-empowered-female-star-wars-purposeful/ Check out who the communications SVP doing the talking is and the organization she’s part of. She’s full on member of the elite, has worked at the Justice Dept and is a full on SJW. People think that… Read more »

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online
hoellenhund2
Guest

The insanity is just getting started, and when I hear men talking about how there is some kind of groundswell of support and a real movement emerging I just giggle.

Why do you oppose MGTOW then?

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Scribblerg

Tasia Fillipatos is merely alarming… when one considers the prospects of this:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/11/19/06/2E8B45E700000578-3324857-image-a-110_1447915294614.jpg

for four or eight years… Truly terrifying. An army of Hillary Go Grrrls drunk on power… Yikes!

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

I was head hunted by Claremont. It’s not Ivy League, but it wants to be the SoCal equivalent of Bard or Vassar, so it’s trying harder. This is the joint:

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

That’s a long video. For those that aren’t going to watch the whole thing, here’s the punchline at the end:

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

If I said ” I am the AllKnowing Master of Time and Space “, it means shit unless people believe it and act accordingly. Not to get all Zen or anything, but realistically we men put ourselves through unnecessary agony and angst by looking for others to concede our personal power to. Concede to no mortal. I know a little bit about ” authority figures ” and intimidation. It’s a feature of my life. I do not care what someone’s title is, what they do for a living, where they went to school or even what they think, if it’s… Read more »

hoellenhund2
Guest

@Sentient

Plus, she has made it clear that she wants to emulate Angela Merkel. I kid you not.

http://time.com/4166539/hillary-clinton-woman-governing-campaigning/

Nevertheless, it doesn’t bother be that much. She, just like Merkel, may prove to be the kind of psychopath who eventually overplays her hand and generates chaos and opposition on a scale she cannot control anymore.

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

“The conceding of personal power is a choice. It’s an agreement.”

I have probably taken more shit for pointing that out over the years than anything else.

“Until these folks show up armed at my door . . .”

Which they intend to do (by proxy). It doesn’t hurt to put in a little prep work ahead of time:

“And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family?”

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@scrib

In case we had any doubt that Disney was pushing the Warrior Princess vibe at us very heavily and intentionally as a social engineering exercise and will continue to do so with the Star Wars franchise, just read this article.

Words cannot express how complete my lack of surprise is.

@kfg

Buncha fuckin sexists and racists that call everyone else sexists and racists. That’s all the regressive Left is full of. Fuck ’em.

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader
Offline

The Question What makes it so dangerous for a Blue Pill man is that it is ground-zero for girls entering the epiphany phase. Purple pill men as well are in danger. With The Glasses on it’s easy to spot former carousel riders, and a man might well spare some pity for them if appropriate. The single men who remain in the church are the ones will be pressured to fulfill their role in that strategy and will be treated with hostility if they don’t. I personally anticipate a renewed church “man up” campaign somewhere in the near future as the… Read more »

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

@ kfg

” I have probably taken more shit for pointing that out over the years than anything else.”

You and me both brother.

Until these folks show up armed at my door . . .”

” Which they intend to do (by proxy). It doesn’t hurt to put in a little prep work ahead of time:”

Absolutely. If we cannot stop them in their tracks, they will eventually overplay their hand. Power grabs usually go astray in that very fashion.

I’m always mostly prepped. I don’t sweat the proxys.

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

” . . . she wants to emulate Angela Merkel.”

When you’ve found one lamppost, you’ve generally found another.

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Sun “That’s all the regressive Left is full of. ” not just the Left anymore… Increasingly the cucks of the right… It’s really RP vs BP now… Tasia Scolinos Filippatos served as the deputy assistant secretary for public affairs and senior director of communications for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. She was appointed to the position by President George W. Bush in Jan. 2005. Prior to that, she was the director of public affairs for the U.S. Department of Justice. Blax “Absolutely. If we cannot stop them in their tracks, they will eventually overplay their hand. Power grabs usually… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader
Offline

Ang Amer, apex fallacy is all through that video.

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

Hillary is nothing to fear. She will do what the last 4 presidents before her have done. She will do the bidding of her corporate masters. All else is window dressing. She’s pandering to women for votes. Obama pandered to the Black community for votes too. Bush pandered to the wealthy and connected. Clinton pandered to everyone. Hillarity is not a feminist, she is a politician. She is status quo. It won’t be a disaster if she’s elected/anointed, but it will be fucked up. Black folks were so happy when Obama was elected. Lol. Obama set records for campaign donations.… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Guest
Forge the Sky
Offline

@Andy “I feel like just a few things could help a ton of guys though. -Money =/= Pussy -Women need to be lead. -A man needs to have boundaries and enforce them -What a shit test is, how to deal with it. -Anyone can learn social skills Is that stuff REALLY that unpalatable?” I think you’ll find the second point will incite howls of protest fairly reliably. Past that, I do think this is do-able. Girls make so much more sense when you just understand the concept of shit-testing. And getting a guy to realize that supplicative behaviors show a… Read more »

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

@ Sentient ” And yes they and there minions are coming… they are in your church, job and school now already. Soon very soon they will be at your dining room table.” Lol. Well, I don’t go to church on purpose. I wind up there occasionally for a function or two. I pretty much ignore folks at my job. I have the power to override/explain away what damage school does. But I draw a hard line at my dining room table. No minion bullshit allowed to bloom at my table man. The power grab has indeed been going on for… Read more »

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

And this time nobody is going to pay any more attention to the candidate standing at the summit of Everest than they did last time. Probably rather less:

http://www.mountainguides.com/photos/simo/everest03s-g-d-summit.jpg

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

I think you’ll find the second point will incite howls of protest fairly reliably. Eeeeyep. Past that, I do think this is do-able. Not without that second one that gets howls. A man can’t actually manage all shit tests without the knowledge that women need to be lead. Part of leading is saying “no”. If a guy can’t accept all those concepts, he’s going to wind up rolling Purple Pill and hobbled. They’ll listen to all the rest, but they’ll fail the critical one that helps them not feel guilty about telling women a firm “no” despite her protestation. She… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Sun

Exactly. To lead, to command, you must reject the equalist narrative…

This is the war, no longer left or right in the US… It’s RP vs BP…

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

kfg-

” And this time nobody is going to pay any more attention to the candidate standing at the summit of Everest than they did last time. Probably rather less”

And he did it at 61.

He must not have gotten the memo.

Novaseeker
Guest
Novaseeker
Offline

Ang — That video gets a lot wrong. They’re not wrong about the sex market, but they’re very wrong about the marriage market. Women don’t have trouble getting married. They can marry beta bux more or less at will. The only men who have control and power in the mating market are the attractive men, and of course these men also have power in the sex market (something the video interestingly overlooks). The idea they have that women would be better off if they formed a sex cartel is funny. There *is* a sex cartel, it just operates with respect… Read more »

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

@ Roused ” Her mother is an enabler. At one point last year I had suspended her phone service for a day to let her know I was serious when she was getting a bit unruly. Rather than discuss the situation with me, find out what happened, and take the time to work with me at parenting a teen, her mother (my ex) immediately went out and bought her a brand new phone with a new #. ” Lol..damn. Mom must get with the program. She has to get with the program without being TOLD to get with it. Phones.… Read more »

Roy Hobbs
Guest
Roy Hobbs
Offline

All- Quasi-FR/and open question… Tuesday night – I’m out at a fundraiser… lots of wealth (i.e. people who make 10+x what I do- on ROIC alone…), and I’m casually chatting-up the little blonde staff 23 yr old “pour-girl” I’m liking. Within 5 minutes, I’m introduced to Susie McMoneybags: 38 (easily an 8 in her youth, maybe a 6.5 now … the high-end sparkles and possible “little bit of work” do currently warrant a 7+), separated mother and fund manager. I learned throughout our talk, that her “ex” is stay-at-home and (I am aware of her business in town) she makes… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Blax You can LOL all you want, the system keeps gaining ground… “Well, I don’t go to church on purpose. I wind up there occasionally for a function or two.” Yup – church is lost to the FI. Bet more men would go if this wasn’t the case. Church, stolen from men. “I pretty much ignore folks at my job.” Maybe so, you still do your mandatory sexual harassment training, and the wasted resources your company spends on these and other programs and equalism are not reflected in your paycheck. Lost income and opportunity. ” I have the power to… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Ooops – posted on wrong thread… Roy Hobbs – good FR… some thoughts for you “So here’s the thought for the group: how does self-made success [affect/change?] a woman’s dynamic? ” Ignore this. This is male thinking. Be dominant, she is looking for the opportunity to be submissive. It’s all the same for them. Cats are not dogs. Have fun. Personally, I’d make her beg to cum… then leave. But you do you… LOL. “At 46, I’m trying to break the pre-wall sub-30 barrier, but seem frozen in the mid-30s (lowest around 31-32). WTF are my sub-comms that I keep… Read more »

Snoman
Guest
Snoman
Offline

I’m aware RT has written about becoming a “high value man” previously, perhaps further discussion w/in the group on this topic would be of value to the readers.

SJF
Guest
SJF
Offline

@Roy Hobbes “So here’s the thought for the group: how does self-made success [affect/change?] a woman’s dynamic? I get it makes them infinitely more confident in themselves (and dramatically increases their self-rating to like 9.8 (they will self-deduct .2 for being “not as young as they once were” – ha!)). 2nd self-observation: At 46, I’m trying to break the pre-wall sub-30 barrier, but seem frozen in the mid-30s (lowest around 31-32). WTF are my sub-comms that I keep getting aggressive highly-successful professional women in their split-with-kids late 30s? I looked in the mirror when I got home but didn’t see… Read more »

SJF
Guest
SJF
Offline

And I can’t see how a self made woman who is rich is a detriment. Depends on her beauty. If she passes the boner test it is not a detriment. Unless you need her money and want to use her for it. She does pass the test right?

Scribblerg
Guest
Scribblerg
Offline

@Sentient – At least someone around here isn’t asleep or in denial. 100 years indeed. Bruce Lee pix? When every one of the institutions of our society has been overrun by Prog-Marxists? And the demographics have been intentionally tilted to give these same folks a permanent majority via a peasant underclass? Put simply, a nation that could possibly elect Hillary Clinton is already too far gone.

The crazy shit we’ve been seeing is just a glimpse. Blax – You’ll be begging for some plain old crony capitalism within 10 years.

Roy Hobbs
Guest
Roy Hobbs
Offline

@Sentient thanks – cats & dogs – got it… looking to have fun with this one. “you need to be around a lot of sub 30 women” I know. Here’s where I go pathetic: I actually live near a college/grad-school town. East Main is all college bars (read $2 BudLight specials and Jaeger-bombs) and West Main is good food and where they actually know how to make a drink. My age/income demographic is on W Main. But the choices suck: Bar #1: Fatass housefraus on a girls night out. 1-in-20 theres anything attractive in the lot – and of that… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Roy

The worst traps are of our own making!

Get thee to East Main…

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

@ scrib ” The crazy shit we’ve been seeing is just a glimpse. Blax – You’ll be begging for some plain old crony capitalism within 10 years.” Never happen brother. I’m in the camp of societal collapse. All of the labeling doesn’t matter except for a nice intellectual exercise. Collapse is collapse. Marxist, Capitalists, Sharks, Jets….. In the end, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been reading through the Panama Papers of late. Just another brick in the wall. I’ll pass on the Crony part of capitalism, thanks bro. ” The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Roy Hobbs In summary: my comfort zone is a target-deprived area. The quality and selection of alcohol and food at a bar is inversely proportional to the quality and selection of young college-age chicks. I’ve had to learn to make that sacrifice too. Just go have a drink or two early in the evening (happy hour-ish) somewhere nice and build connections with dudes, then hit the younger stuff about 9-10 when the chicks arrive. You’re laid back, in a good mood, and ready to party. Drink water from there and sarge chicks. It’s convenient that both sets of options are… Read more »

Roy Hobbs
Guest
Roy Hobbs
Offline

@SJF Thanks. No actual problems with the 38 (might be my writing style) – She easily passes the boner test & I’m looking forward to the weekend at her house in Saint-Somethingorother in the Caribbean if we can get the schedules worked out. I found TRM at a personal low in January and after diligently reading the posts and the books, I’m applying it as often as I can (I’ve just started testing the waters on a little daygame… much harder than night/bar game…). What intrigued me about this situation was, again, not the biology- but her self-perceived 9.8 value.… Read more »

Blaximus
Guest
Blaximus
Online

Clarification ( sans pics ): The world owes me nothing. The structures of men owe me nothing. The construct of male female relations owes me nothing. I take what I want, or take what I can and the rest can burn, mostly. I wake in the morning mostly stress free. I said mostly. Society in it’s current configuration, is amusing, perplexing, but never, ever defeating. defeat is mine to concede and that’s not an active part of my frame. It is easy enough, should it become necessary, to divorce ones self from the bulk of society. If that seems impossible,… Read more »

Roy Hobbs
Guest
Roy Hobbs
Offline

@ Sun

“The quality and selection of alcohol and food at a bar is inversely proportional to the quality and selection of young college-age chicks.”

Thanks – yeah… I’m trying to amp myself up to push over there… but my spine seems to be looking for an out (any out). I swear, I’d pay for a decent wing- but I have zero (and I mean less-than-zero, horrific, twitchy, overweight, mumbly, spergy, doofus) prospects here – so its all me solo.

It’s probably a mind or comfort thing… I see it, but dont know how to beat it.

melmoth
Guest
melmoth
Offline

Blaximus, Inspiring stuff. I try to see it as a very fun time to be alive. The FIMPLE (feminine imperative marxist progressive left equalists…ha!) anyway, the fimple is just BEGGING men to indulge in off the radar, rambling, third world wandering, minimalist, eternally 24 years old, lifetime of pure male imperative living. That’s their achilles heel; that they ran things over so thoroughly. That’s what you can exploit if you’re still able. By ‘exploit’ I guess I simply mean ‘avoid’ which to me seems to be an everlasting buzz. Flipping the bird at 40 years of organized pressure to put… Read more »

melmoth
Guest
melmoth
Offline

@Roy Hobbs,

With all the college girls around and you being older, it seems like aggressive ‘day-game’ is a way better option for you.

Roy Hobbs
Guest
Roy Hobbs
Offline

@ SJF, Sun & Mel…

Working on my shit now:
http://yareallyarchive.com/2012/3/#comment-heartiste-321341

YaReally- how can anyone here ever repay you? Thanks again.

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader
Offline

I just cant seem to [yet] muster the courage to walk into a college bar in East Main. “Who’s the old guy & why is he alone?” This is a job for ZFG. Walk right in, walk up to the most experienced looking bartender, ask him or her “How would make [some drink you like]” and then talk about it for a while. Shake his hand and order something that’s not a beer. Get a glass of water on the side. If you get nervous, put a coaster over your beverage and step outside for deep breaths. I suggest that… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader
Offline

Blaximus I’ve been reading through the Panama Papers of late. Just another brick in the wall. One thing about this election cycle, it’s been really clarifying. A lot of masks just falling off. It’s like The Emperor’s New Clothes only in surround sound 3-D. None of the “elite” are clean. None of them are even remotely on the side of anyone else. Some of them are arguably insane, on a “Emperor Nero” level. All that “My party is good your party is bad” is nonsense. It’s more and more looking like one party with two labels. Panama papers ought to… Read more »

walawala
Guest
walawala
Offline

@Roy Hobbs. I’m in your current age range ..a bit older. Two years ago I decided to go only for girls under 30. It’s been a dramatic positive change. There’s still occasional drama with a crazy stalker but overall it’s less drama and more dominance on my part. The youngest has been 21 average is 27, current one is 23. Game is critical: negs, teasing and overall inner confidence. But what this age group is also looking for is someone dominant but also vulnerable. Someone confident about opening up but without being needy. The current 23 year old wants a… Read more »

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

I’m freaking out over here checking out the vids YaReally shared, realizing how isolated I still am. Can’t catch any fish if you don’t cast your line in the water. I’m not even at the fucking pond. Never been to a club in my life, don’t even know what one looks like. I don’t know where to physically go to meet women, what good venues are, etc., and don’t know a single person who would want to go with me, which makes it even harder. Every single friend I have is completely opposed to places like that. The pressure I’ve… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Roy Thanks – yeah… I’m trying to amp myself up to push over there… but my spine seems to be looking for an out (any out). I swear, I’d pay for a decent wing- but I have zero (and I mean less-than-zero, horrific, twitchy, overweight, mumbly, spergy, doofus) prospects here – so its all me solo. Finding good wings is shit everywhere by most accounts. Learn to roll solo. I’ve tried to get a few guys to wing, and they’ve all sucked. They actually will reduce your chances of success in most cases. Trust me, you’re not describing an issue… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Softek

To claim that I’m ABUSING YOU because I don’t want to commit to you.

Which is more abusive: pestering somebody to do something they don’t want to do causing them to feel stressed out and frustrated, or giving somebody such a good experience that they pester you to commit instead of leaving you for somebody else?

She’s lower value than you and broadcasting it. Don’t let her or her shithead friends tell you otherwise. Spin more plates.

walawala
Guest
walawala
Offline

@Softek Obsessing over someone is about you not her. I’ve had to de-program my own thinking to get over a crazy ex who I realized had all the Cluster B traits. But blaming her or name calling/labeling will only get one so far. Understanding why you’re plugged into someone or certain behaviours is critical to moving forward. You sound like you’re stressing because not being able/willing to commit or live up to her expectations has tapped into some boyhood “shame” of not being good enough or having to work hard to win someone’s love. Check out this article and tap… Read more »

laikastes
Guest
laikastes
Offline

@Softek On my phone (at work), so formatting might be fucked. You need to break it off with this girl now. Realize this – Breaking things off with her does NOT condemn you to reverting to being an incel. This is not an either/or situation. You have the power to take action. Use that power. No one else can do it for you, no one else can take it from you unless you let them take it. Do not give in to despair on your end, or to manipulation and abuse on her end. Take control. You can do it.… Read more »

The Jin
Guest
The Jin
Offline

@Softek. While the guys are right about breaking it off etc etc you are also right about not having options and not knowing what to do.So…… Take your girl to the club. Get her in a good mood first, get her invested. Tell her shes right about the relationship and you want to try new things to make it work or whatever you have to. Even if you break up with her later, you’ve been seen at some high footfall volume venues with a women in tow. Most of all though, watch how she reacts to the place, which guys… Read more »

SJF
Guest
SJF
Offline

@Roy Hobbes, @Softek @All For perspective and mindset: Just a reminder of some red pill ideas/ideals, for perspective, that a clear thinker and excellent writer–Ian Ironwood– wrote once: Wednesday, June 4, 2014 Aunt Giggles Doesn’t Get It: The Red Pill Is The Toolbox (on his blog TheRedPillRoom. “Susan Walsh, over at Hooking Up Smart, shot a nasty broadside against the Manosphere today with her post Elliot Rodger and the Red Pill. Her growing anti-male/anti-Red Pill bias has come into full bloom, now, but more importantly she reveals her (perhaps intentional) ignorance of the Red Pill and what it means.” “Thanks… Read more »

SJF
Guest
SJF
Offline

Yes, that last part was exactly what and why The Jin was saying what he just said.

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

“Panama papers ought to be mandatory reading in those High School government / civics classes….”

Which is the very reason why it will never happen in a government school.

Andy
Guest
Andy
Offline

” An army of Hillary Go Grrrls drunk on power…” Does Putin love Russia enough to seduce her? He’ll try I bet. She’s ripe for the picking… It will be a long 8 years. “She needs to be lead. If you can’t accept that, you’ll fail an entire class of shit tests every fucking time.” Agreed. “This is the war, no longer left or right in the US… It’s RP vs BP…” It’s a propaganda war basically. To me it just seems kind of defeatist to sit here and wait until guys find TRP. I don’t know, maybe that’s all… Read more »

Andy
Guest
Andy
Offline

“It’s a propaganda war basically. To me it just seems kind of defeatist to sit here and wait until guys find TRP. I don’t know, maybe that’s all we can do.”

But really what are our chances if we can’t even get MRAs and PUAs to unplug properly? Like why is Krauser so fucking negative? Can’t let go of that madonna/whore complex or something? If we could get some of these influential guys to the other side it might help.

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Andy – I’d say it’s way beyond propaganda. It’s full on ideology war, as dogmatic as any jihad…

comment image

Only one will win… there will be no co-existing.

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

You think Disney propagandizing is bad now? wait until this guy’s shit is rolled out… FB is closing in on 1 billion daily users…

http://www.popsci.com/sites/popsci.com/files/zuckwalks.jpg

Who is going to program what those people see? Hillary doing the bidding of the corporate elites… THESE are the elites! You going to see Father Knows Best on that screen?

It’s BP vs RP war..

The Jin
Guest
The Jin
Offline

@Andy – “It’s a propaganda war basically. To me it just seems kind of defeatist to sit here and wait until guys find TRP. I don’t know, maybe that’s all we can do.” If you have an equalist mindset you will instantly reject TRP because TRP wisdom is that not everyone can come along on the journey. Equalism is at heart all about societal level solutions to societal level problems caused by irrational prejudice. It completely breaks down when faced with a societal level problem that can’t be tackled by changing everyones behaviour by putting them on an equal footing… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

well said JIn…

FWIW the FI was already eroding the scene in 1954… LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O-k0E4hbSU&nohtml5=False

worth a watch…

enrique
Guest
enrique
Offline
Klem
Guest
Klem
Offline

@Softek Dude, first you need to stop complaining and using dramatic words like these, not just because it is annoying or unattractive, but because the more you do it, the more you create an identity out of it. The more you end up seeing yourself as a loser, the more it will end up as a self fulfilling prophecy. Ok, it is your first relationship, the fact is established, now you need to move on to your second one Just stop seeing that first girl. You already know deep down that it is the right thing to do… That’s it,… Read more »

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

“FWIW the FI was already eroding the scene in 1954 . . .”

The idea that the 50’s were some sort of paragon of traditional culture is one of the most idiotic elements of modern myth. They were perhaps the most anomalous, and thus disruptive, in human history, right up there with the neolithic revolution.

The 60’s were just the boiling over of pressures that had built up during the 50’s. This is 1955:

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

@Softek:

“Ok, it is your first relationship, the fact is established, now you need to move on to your second one”

Do it. Do it now.

having a bad day
Guest
having a bad day
Offline

@Roy Hobbs In my case with this woman, it was almost “guy-like” analytic in her self-estimation. She knows she’s pretty hot for 38 w/2 kids, but her $-driven self-confidence was palpable. She actually believes that her money makes up and surpasses the difference between her and a 23 yr old $10/hr HB 9 pour girl. In a vacuum – 38 is no issue, but her self-thunder over actual hotties… That was the experience/brain gap to which I was looking for some insight. that’s just basic solipsism in play…lol…she just projects what she is attracted to onto you… and also she… Read more »

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

@ walawala From your link: “Borderlines are intoxicated by The Chase–not the capture. The moment they sense you’re hopelessly hooked, they lose interest, and their distancing and acting-out behaviors begin. ” Sounds a lot like typical women. She doesn’t think I’m hopelessly hooked (even though I feel that way), so the loss of interest and distancing hasn’t started yet. But the obsessive fixation is spot on. A huge issue for me is believing that she really is the best I could ever do, and that this is the one chance I have in my life for someone to love me.… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Roy Hobbs Few more thoughts for you… First, if you live near a college you need to be around campus a lot. There are a zillion coffee places, smoothy shops and yoga studios around most campuses… Daygame is definitely your friend… and you can amp attraction as well or actually I think often BETTER than nightgame via daygame. Could be a good intro for you to the culture. Hang around these areas, most of the girls will be single sets, they will be reading something etc. easy peasy indirect opens… Find out where they go out at night, what times… Read more »

Glengarry
Guest
Glengarry
Offline

@enrique “That saying has been around since the early DadsDivorce.com manosphere days…15 years ago.”

Respect to our elders.

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Softek…. “I really, REALLY need to break out of this. I’ve spent pretty much every single day with her over the past 7+ months and it’s been an endless push-pull turmoil between having a GREAT time together, only for her to ruin it by giving me shit about commitment at the end of the day.” Dude for real… do this it will change your life forever. Just DUMP her. No need to be mean or angry or drama… Just call her up, tell her it’s not working and it’s over. Then block her number. You: “hey Sally, yeah . Listen,… Read more »

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

@ Klem

Didn’t see your post before making that new one. Thanks for the input.

Neural pathways. “Kill the Beta” comes to mind. I’ve made some progress, and have been feeling somewhat better, but I need to take the self-defeating side of me and pump a bullet in his head execution style.

scribblerg
Guest
scribblerg
Offline

@Softie – I’m in NYC tonight and am sarging, with a friend and his girl early and then on my own later. You can crash here, I have a 3 bdrm place all to myself. Ultimate babe lair style. No “clubs” though, not my scene. Just regular bars.

Get on a fucking MetroNorth and come sarge with me. Tell the GF you are going down to NYC to party with a friend and will be in touch tomorrow. Dread baby, dread. You know how to reach me if you are interested.

Or not.

having a bad day
Guest
having a bad day
Offline

@Softek I’m freaking out over here checking out the vids YaReally shared, realizing how isolated I still am. maybe you feel like that right now, but even so, that’s not a permanent thing… Can’t catch any fish if you don’t cast your line in the water. I’m not even at the fucking pond. Never been to a club in my life, don’t even know what one looks like. I don’t know where to physically go to meet women, what good venues are, etc., and don’t know a single person who would want to go with me, which makes it even… Read more »

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

Maybe in the process of breaking things off atm. She just said she needs to know whether I want her and whether I’m going to be exclusive and completely loyal to her, which she said “isn’t asking a lot.” Lol. See Rollo’s post about how women can never understand or appreciate what a man sacrifices when he commits to a relationship. “isn’t asking a lot.” …. Now she’s accusing me again of not caring about her feelings and how I’m not being fair to her, etc., is crying because she says I don’t want her. Not wanting to be exclusive,… Read more »

Sentient
Guest
Sentient
Offline

Scribbs – that’s a great offer… what’s your flight plan? You have the logistics mapped out? remember Roy Hobbs situation… sarge first comfort second…

Tomorrow, do day game in Union Square Park and sarge the brunches… Half a dozen modeling agencies over there…

also the Whole Foods on Houston St…

Have fun!

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Softek

NEXT the chick, take scrib’s offer, get thee to NYC.

scribblerg
Guest
scribblerg
Offline

@Sentien – Cold and snowy tomorrow so Union Sq and other parks are out. I’ve gone there and played guitar and Wash Sq and Tompkins when I lived down here. I have three venues picked out for tonight. Hoping social proof with friend and his GF in the first gaff will be a good situ. Then on to a great hotel bar i know will be stuffed with lovelies. Then the local downstairs for late night scraps (two of them nearby actually). Will also be opportunistic on streets and espying promising venues. I don’t mind if Softie doesn’t come, he’ll… Read more »

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

@ scrib

You’re just staying in NYC for the night?

kfg
Guest
kfg
Offline

@Softek:

Shut the fuck up and get on the fucking train.

having a bad day
Guest
having a bad day
Offline

@Softek that whole exchange at 9:01am is you trying to negotiate desire… you know that doesn’t work… and i just want to point out that it’s all in her frame… i’m coming around to the idea that the other men here are right… and you would be better off nexting her for good… maybe with a pingback in 6 months… your choices are: give is to her demands = beta provider status…while she alpha fux somebody else… ala open hypergamy… break it off clean = you get control of your life back… stay in the situ and use it for… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Softek

Be decisive. It’s more fun and chicks find it sexy.

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

The NYC thing is definitely more an agoraphobia thing than a ONE-itis thing. That’s another hurdle. Never been on a bus or train in my entire life other than a schoolbus, lol, and the past couple days I stayed over the GF’s house was the longest I’ve been away from home outside of the mental hospital. @ scrib I’ll hit you up on skype, I really appreciate the offer and my head’s just spinning thinking about it. About 100 light years outside my comfort zone but I feel like something has to break. Part of me doesn’t even give a… Read more »

Softek
Guest
Softek
Offline

@ having a bad day

Awesome, thank you very much for the response. Helped put a lot of things into perspective.

@ Sun

Be decisive. Noted.

@ kfg

The voice of reason, lol. I guess it isn’t more complicated than that. Been thinking about it and I might be more comfortable driving on my own than taking a train, whatever works. Public transportation still freaks me out.

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong
Offline

@Softek Just take the train. Driving in NYC sucks like nothing else. if shit hits the fan, and if I have to go back to being an incel, I’m gonna lose it Part of the reason I personally am telling you to next her is that I’ve been that guy forced back in to incel over and over in his life. Hell right now I am as I try to git gud at pick up. Shit sucks, to be sure, but I can reassure you from my repeated experiences that getting away from a shitty chick is worth an incel… Read more »

The Question
Guest

@ Rollo Tomassi

Thought I’d leave this here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2845505/My-husband-no-match-fantasy-hunk-erotic-novels-ve-ditched-says-bestselling-writer-steamy-fiction.html

“Ms Malpas, from Northampton, says: ‘All my fictional men are strong, successful, sophisticated and enigmatic. I guess it’s hard for any living, breathing man to live up to such a fantasy.”

sfer
Guest
sfer
Offline

@yareally I went to one of those RSD free tour things. The dudes in the audience were super normal. Sam gave a Q and A for 2 1/2 hours. It was beautiful. He was giving great advice and was clearly helping people out. He is super positive. Live events weed out the on-line negativity. If anybody has questions about the pua stuff go to one of Sam’s talks. He was really emphasizing being normal. He told one college age guy that he should stop trying to do cold pick up women and just emphasize making friends with women and doing… Read more »

%d bloggers like this: