27 Shades of The Modern Man

ModernManbrk-news

We interrupt your regular Rational Male blog reading for an important news bulletin. TRM sources confirm that a comprehensive list of aspects of the “Modern Man” has at last been identified by Brianna Brian Lombardi for the New York Times. Yes, you read that correctly, click-bait reliable sources have indeed confirmed the recognizable traits of the Modern Herb Man.

After a preschool upbringing replete with Cailou, heavily steeped in feminized gender self-loathing during his tween years, and topped off with a healthy dash of transgender reassignment therapy, a list of traits has finally been compiled to aid in women’s identifying an adult ‘Modern Man’.

I know, I know ladies, it’s a very difficult task to identify an acceptable guy for your Epiphany Phase necessities. What with ‘dating’ ALL “the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys“, it can be a daunting challenge to remember the characteristics that made all of the Nice Guys you blew off in your youth such a great catch,…timing is such a bitch, but now you’re ready to do things “the right way this time”, right?

The good news is they’ve all been waiting for you, like you asked them to way back when; and while their feminine conditioning has finally made them desirable for your just-pre-Wall long-term security necessity, they have gotten older and a bit more peculiar. No worries, Brittany Brian Lombardi has compiled a list for you so you can better discern he and his fellow ‘Modern Men’ today from the guys you proposed “lets just be friends” to ten years ago.

Lets have a look shall we?

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

Yes ladies, you’ll no longer be troubled with that hot club guy being callously indifferent to remembering your shoe size. The Modern Man is so identifying with the feminine, so in touch with it, he’s made a hobby of picking up women’s shoes and memorizing the sizes and brands in your ever growing collection. In fact, you’ll no longer be troubled with the joy hassle of shopping for cute shoes, the Modern Man will do it for you. Now you can get back all the ‘rewarding’ work of advancing your career.

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

You see gals, the Modern Man knows women are far too burdened by the Patriarchy to ever consider a man’s acknowledgement of his own degree of self-confidence. In fact, his feminine conditioning has taught him well that no one is really concerned with his ‘privileged’ cis-centric concepts of male confidence. He knows the preconceptions of confidence only leads to actualizing his potential for violence. Far better to put a smile on his face and tangle with his inner demons without his concerning you overly much, don’t you think?

3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

Walking on eggshells around women is the hallmark of a Modern Man. Rest assured girls, he knows the personal repercussions women will mete out should he commit a social faux pas. Not to worry though, the Modern Man wouldn’t so much as cough during the chick flick he suggested you both see on opening night.

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

Would you look at that ladies? The Modern Man can still prompt a tingle by getting back to his caveman roots! You’ll just have to forgive him one uncouth vanity. He’s his own man when it comes to animal fat. That steak and the full beard he’s growing to go with his new flannel shirts (in between shoe shopping for his lady) are his privilege of being a man. Wait, did I say “privilege”? Oh, what a scamp he is, but he’s happy to accommodate you if you want to join his male space. Burp.

5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.

The act of parking a car might seem mundane to you, but au contraire. A Modern Man bucks the trend of spending 10 minutes (?) seeking the most perfect parking spot,…unless his lady is riding with him and then it’s a precious gift of the parking lot gods if he can manage a spot by the front entrance to WalMart. He may even do you the courtesy of dropping you off at the entrance and then forages for just the right spot.

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

Because, God forbid, his wife or kids might be without their mobile device or social media accounts when they awake the next day. My God! How would they find out what occurred on Instagram while they slept? The Modern Man is so evolved, so limbicly in touch with the feminine mind that her unthought of needs become an obsessive compulsion for him.

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

You’ll just have to accept it gals; in addition to his women’s shoes fascination the Modern Man is an aficionado of processed sugar and high fructose corn syrup. So dedicated is he that his palate has become sensitive enough to disparage other men for not appreciating ‘real’ soft drinks. But, heheh, that’s just him “being a guy”, they’re soooo odd aren’t they?

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

The Modern Man has rarely served his country in the military, so you’ll have to pardon his not understanding the distinction between a ‘helicopter’ and a ‘chopper’. However, beside a slight lisp and some feminine ‘vocal fry‘, the Modern Man’s vernacular is carefully chosen. He uses words like “gauche” and “simpleton” in casual conversation. See this link for more spoken examples.

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

Being a Modern Man requires you to identify more with the feminine, thus having a daughter completes him in ways a son would ever have the capacity too. In the back of his head he feels the nagging third-person guilt for China’s selective breeding practices of the past and hopes to “be the difference he wants to see in the world” by fulfilling the false narratives of the Feminine Imperative by personally investing himself in the ’empowerment’ of little girls at the expense of boys. It comes naturally to the Modern Man after being medicated himself for ADHD in his youth.

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

Lucky for you ladies, your Modern Man believes in the fantasy that is Choreplay so thoroughly he’ll forego using a modern dishwasher to wash the dishes by hand so you’ll notice how evolved he is. Because everyone knows the “unbridled lust” women feel when they see a man washing dishes by hand. Women agree, he’s practically owed sex at that point.

11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.

Because while the modern man is self-absorbed enough to use Pinterest, only a real solipsist narcissist pins a tweet.

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

Ha! How cavalier! Isn’t it nice to have a Modern Man who’s indiscriminate enough to eat the fat and burnt parts of his steak, but is particular enough to toss out a bar of soap when it’s too small?

13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

Because how else would he remain in touch with his roots?

14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.

Yes ladies, you’ll find the Modern Man so engrossed with stereotypically feminine tasks (in an effort to buck a trend he still thinks earns him points with women), he’ll raise grocery shopping to an art form. He’s rustic enough to still use a pad and paper to scribble out his carefully planned grocery list (which of course implies he’s also become an accomplished cook in order to add some value to his SMV). I’ll bet you can just taste the artisanal lasagne from Whole Foods now.

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

The Modern Man loves the sound of his shoes on locally sourced woods beneath his feet so long as he’s not the one who had to install it. Remember, the Modern Man is defined by his shoes (again).

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

Ladies you can sleep better at night knowing your Modern Man has spent the mental energy to position himself between you and any home intrusion. He’s carefully thought it through and accepts his disposability in the light of the odds he’d be easily incapacitated and left to bleed out while watching you be gang raped as his dying memory.

17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

So in touch with his feminine animus is the Modern Man that he often becomes indistinguishable from Martha Stewart in his zeal to entertain his dinner guests. Perfectly shaped melon balls are just one more social anxiety you’ll be freed from with your Modern Man girls.

18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

The Modern Man’s obsession with shoes (for either sex) will not be restricted by size discrepancies.

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.

The Modern Man is a virtual florist ladies. His mother and even his female co-workers will never be left out of his boundless consideration. Flowers never come as an apology since there is never a reason for apology with him. Rest assured his niceties come from actually being a Nice Guy and never with the ulterior motive of expectations of intimacy.

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

Never forget gals, your Modern Man is a sensitive soul, prone to fits of crying when the movie’s sad enough. Should you ever spare an afterthought, remember, that smile on his face is just a placeholder until things are going along swimmingly. Just be sure to remember, when you’re spooning him like a toddler afraid of a thunderstorm, be sure he’s still facing the door side of the bed so he can interpose himself between you and the home intruder.

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

This should be a no-brainer considering the completedness-of-person he derives from empowering her to the exclusion of boys.

22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.

Yes, gals that rugged individualism is not only expressed in his lack of self-consciousness (unless it’s shoes), but also in his rustic dedication to actually subscribing to a newspaper as it dies a slow media death. That damn paper boy better make sure it arrives ‘crisp’ or no Christmas time tip!

23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

Because, God knows where the Modern Man would be without the ability to re-watch classics like Hancock and the Miami Vice remake in 4K resolution.

24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.

Sorry ladies, the Modern Man often becomes so overly conscious about your own mobile devices being charged throughout the night that he cavalierly forgets his own cell phone might run flat. You’ll just have to deal with his forgetfulness, but it is for your benefit. 1st World problems, what can you do?

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

Well, at least you can be confident that he’s dedicated to making sure his inevitable death will give you the time needed to escape that home intruder’s malicious intent when the time comes. Just be sure to give him the proper push towards the bedroom door if he happens to be the ‘little’ spoon and feeling vulnerable that night.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

Well, finally ladies, you’ve got a guy who can cry on demand,…or is it by demand? But remember this is the next state in men’s evolutionary progress; a response to women’s crying eliciting sympathy and concern. Men’s facility with crying as a go-to response (he cries often) is just evidence of his closer identification and affinity with the feminine. It’s your dream come true! Now your Modern Man can relate to you as well as your closest girlfriends.

27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

And finally, you’ve got a new, modern, evolved man who can turn physical spasms into an art form, and have so little self-awareness that the laughter he hears is affirmation instead of ridicule.

Well, there you have it girls, you’ve finally got the men you deserved, the men you helped create, the men who are so in touch with their femininity that you’ll have little use for your gal-pals any more. But that’s OK, right?

The Modern Man has been patiently waiting for you to get the Bad Boys out of your system and he’s evolved enough to accept his retroactive cuckolding forgive your youthful indiscretion. The Modern Man understands that you were “so crazy back in college” and you want to do things right with him. The Modern Man is so in touch with the feminine, so evolved that he’s ready to look past your previous hesitations with him, look past the ease with which you gave it up to the ‘crazy boys, the commitment-phobic boys’; the greater degree of qualifications and your reluctance to jump into bed with him as quick only proves how much you’re changed and how much better he, the Modern Man, must be in relation to all those ‘other guys’.

Just be sure you’re sleeping on the right side of the bed when you do.

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Lee
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Lee

The modern man doesnt need a gun…What kind of liberal garbage is this?

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

I also carry a gun in my pants but eventually lee maybe that will be illegal as well.

benfromtexas
Guest
benfromtexas

I remember this article from earlier this week from the Dana Loesch radio show. She often talks about misandry(she has 2 sons). I don’t know if she’s a RP aware female, but she defends men when we are attacked or expected to act Beta. She even uses the term as Alpha and Beta.

Jacob
Guest
Jacob

In other words, the Modern Man is a male lesbian according to this creature feature.

trackback

[…] By Rollo Tomassi […]

Luxocrat
Guest
Luxocrat

What is this bullshit? 😒

MR. CHICK CRACK (@O_In_Ya_Throat)
Guest

Tell ya right now, this modern “man” list was a completely well done troll job and I think Rollo fell for it.

The Ronin
Guest

I’ve often maintained that when a movement gets to the point in discourse where you can’t tell satire or reality anymore, it’s over… I really think Feminism and professional victim politics has finally jumped the shark…

cheryl
Guest
cheryl

I’m so sorry that you have been exposed to and known some horrible women.

Jacob
Guest
Jacob

I agree with The Ronin. It’s done. The ease with which CNN was trolled over the Oregon shooting marks the public end of their credibility, and probably the beginning of the end of CNN.

dublek
Guest
dublek

Not sure if the author was trolling or was finally crushed under the weight of blue pill conditioning. It says he ‘lives’ in Illinois, but we know he’s dead on the inside.

scribblerg
Guest
scribblerg

@The Ronin – Spot on but it’s not a “movement” – it’s our whole goddamn society. Consider that a man wrote this – at least he claims to be one. Just imagine how deeply the FI has had to sink into him, how completely he’s had to subjugate his masculinity to even conceive of something like this? Newsflash ladies: I won’t protect you from any harm if it involves any danger to me. Women are on their own now. If it’s me or you – it’s gonna be you. If giving you up to be raped lets me get away,… Read more »

Fred Flange, Itself
Guest
Fred Flange, Itself

I’m all for a good humorous article, but that NYT piece ain’t it. I don’t care if the comic premise is “men are idiots” or “men are animals” or “men are faygs” as long as the piece sticks to its theme and there’s a good joke or two now and then. Not seeing ’em here. If it’s a troll job it’s a confused one. AND YET: today’s theme conveniently ties in with a thought that snuck into my head in recent weeks: Masculinity Will Find A Way. Yes that’s a paraphrase of the Chaos Theoretician from Michael Crichton’s “Jurassic Park”… Read more »

Fred Flange, Itself
Guest
Fred Flange, Itself

PS: To be clear, I am criticizing the Times piece (what ain’t funny) that Rollo is riffing on. What he’s doing I totally get.

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

I think there’s a law that covers this.

Red Pill comedy gold.

Ciacorps
Guest

So the Modern Man should never own a gun and have no use for guns? Typical liberal drivel. Yet the Modern Man should also fight off home invaders to protect his wife. Soooooo…what’s he going to use to ward off the attacker or attackers? One of his Kenneth Cole oxfords??

Desdinova Superstar
Guest

The modern man won’t have a daughter, nor a son. No woman wants to fuck a modern man.

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

Troll or no this is, sadly enough, a thorough and effective critique of our society (the straight white parts anyway). I find it aggravating as Hell, but it does describe the popular conception of a “modern man.” Note that’s the MODERN man not a Masculine man. Minor quibble for Rollo. Number 23 refers to specific films: Heat, Manhunter, Last of the Mohicans, etc. Films that feature masculine men who use guns and violence to achieve their ends. The modern man is taught to worship this type of man, best done with a BluRay, and taught never to emulate such men… Read more »

SD
Guest
SD

***DISCLAIMER-I only made it to #6 before nearly barfing on my tablet. When I was active duty, I thought being captured and beheaded by the Taliban was pretty bad. I see now I was very much incorrect. There are worse things then death, as in living like this accursed list suggests. Bluepill treatises like this remind me of a line from the first Brendan Frasier Mummy movie. “Death is only the beginning”. It referred to an ancient curse, but in some ways this phrase suits the quoted article. First a Moden Nematode-erm, “man” kills any manifestation of masculinity, followed by… Read more »

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

@Desdinova Superstar “The modern man won’t have a daughter, nor a son. No woman wants to fuck a modern man.” I can’t complain but adapt I must. 1955 Fear 1889 Courage 1893 @Badpainter “Number 23 refers to specific films: Heat, Manhunter, Last of the Mohicans, etc. Films that feature masculine men who use guns and violence to achieve their ends. The modern man is taught to worship this type of man, best done with a BluRay, and taught never to emulate such men beyond adopting the style of such. The summary of this list would be that the modern man… Read more »

The Diplomat
Guest
The Diplomat

That was too fucking funny. No way is it not a full-bore troll job on the NYT or a blisteringly sarcastic satirical piece a la Jonathan Swift. And Rollo’s additional biting asides are priceless.

Nothing else I can add. In any event, it is an RP mega-burn for those that have eyes to see.

Luke
Guest
Luke

Rollo, I have a question that I’ve been wanting to ask you for quite a while, and this article has reminded me of it. Why is it that, despite the well-known Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks dynamic and women’s hypergamous nature, there’s a very particular subset of women nowadays that seem to defy hypergamy? I’m talking about a new generation of college liberal/progressive, often times reddit-active, outspoken, liberal arts/humanities-studying, 20-something women that have weak, spineless boyfriends that only have their looks going for them. Why do these women date these men, why do they engage in long-term committed relationships with them if… Read more »

scribblerg
Guest
scribblerg

@Luke – I know the archetype you are talking about, saw plenty of it in my East Village days. The hipster with spaghetti thin arms, a 26 inch waist and zero testosterone. It’s a small subset of women I think, and it seems to me that these are hyper-dominant women who have to lord themselves over a man. They have internalized their politics so deeply that they have to pick a man like that. But here’s what you may be missing. He doesn’t make her wet the way an alpha does. She gets bored of him over time. Sometimes these… Read more »

SD
Guest
SD

@Luke While I’m not Rollo, I’ll give it a shot. Women derive validation from Beta males just like they do from Alpha sex.Difference is in the latter , she primally desires the man in question. In the former its a status game with other women, and boy do they brag. Just like muscle car fans brag about displacement and mods, women -in their own gender specific manner- do the same with beta male servants. The woman with the most subserviant beta takes the social trophy. As such, females tend to select similar types of Betas for relationship material , consistent… Read more »

anotherlawyerwaistingtime
Guest
anotherlawyerwaistingtime

I cannot read this guy’s pure garbage! He is a tool! Rolling this both turned my stomac and angered me to no end. With “men” like him who needs feminism!!

tweell
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Joshua Sinistar
Guest

Thank God we all live in a Post-Modern World and don’t have to deal with these losers anymore!

bluepillprofessor
Guest

@Luke: Not sure but I think pegging may have something to do with it.

I am on the side that NYT got trolled by a Red Knight posing as Johnathan Swift. The “man’s” next column will be about the most efficient way to stop global warming would be to grind up Irish men for fertilizer.

scribblerg
Guest
scribblerg

@SJF – I did not reprise my criticism of MBTI but it had nothing to do with my mood. I cited sources at the time, MBTI was debunked as an accurate assessment of personality 20+ years ago. You don’t like that fact, got it. I don’t want to argue it. Apparently you find it a useful heuristic, have at it. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s not a valid tool for assessing personality according to many, many sources. In the actual field of psychology it’s considered schtick used by corporate consultants to sell bullshit. Those are facts unchanged… Read more »

Juan
Guest
Juan

Winston Churchill, the last lion, cried often, once over a cat still recognizing him after months away from home during the war. Churchill not man enough? Tolstoy and Einstein –especially towards the latter’s last years– were vegetarians and pacifists. Guns anyone? Steak anybody? Isaac Newton apparently never had a woman, or was gay. Tchaikovsky was gay and deeply insecure. Alpha men? When men think for themselves, a stereotypical masculine outcome, Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood, is not always predictable. How much value can we ascribe to the realization that men such as the former might not have wetted a woman? Frankly, who… Read more »

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

BPD = bitches be crazy, clearly not a clinical diagnosis as the ‘sphere uses the term. Also, it’s probably best to limit calls of BPD and stick with something more general like Barking Moonbat.

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

@Bp

I can safely say that one of the women I was dealing with last year was likely a textbook case of actual BPD. Therapist showed me the DSM-IV list (not telling me till after the fact what it was), I was able to say all but one characteristic was a completely accurate description. The real deal is a train wreck of epic proportions.

It ain’t just crazy. It’s a special, unbelievably manipulative kind of crazy. Truly a sight to behold right away you run screaming away from it.

Sun Wukong
Guest
Sun Wukong

Right before you run screaming away from it, rather.

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

@ Sun Wukong I don’t question that. However given the tendency toward embellishment most people demonstrate, especially on the internets, I simply assume most such claims are undiagnosed in a clinical setting. As an example one of my friends has a wife that is Barking Moonbat nuts. That’s the casual description, whatever is her actual condition I have no idea but suspect maybe, perhaps, an HPD case, some of the other guys think BPD, but we all agree whe’s nuts. Her husband walks on eggshells, and thinks it’s all OK. I think a lot of casual talk about amongst the… Read more »

Gob
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Gob

“1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse…”

Spouse? A real man’s man.

Edelweiss
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Edelweiss

The quotes from the article could easily be genuine. Anyone doubting that, hasn’t come across one of these female identifying, hipster turds in real life, or on the net. A quick search on youtube would show you a variety of this type, including “male feminists”, and the like. They really believe they are somehow a more highly evolved man. I suspect many, if not most of them, were groomed for their role from childhood. In my short time (44 years), I can’t believe how radically different men and women are. Anything resembling traditional femininity has become scarce in my locale.… Read more »

The Other Jim
Guest
The Other Jim

My money is some well done trolling towards the NY Times. Brian(or should we call you Bridget?) Lombardi’s trolling is ok but the part that’s always disturbing is how willing the NYT is willing to print this tripe. I’ve no doubt that the Inbred-Elites at the NYT actually believe in this sort of thing because they’ve got a serious history of printing some really cringeworthy vile stuff. Remember Jayson Blair(Plagiarism & Fabrication)? What about current writers like Paul Krugman(“Let’s have the govt. lie about an impending alien invasion so we can justify spending tens of trillions on highways”…Yes, he really… Read more »

The Other Jim
Guest
The Other Jim

Edit: My last post should read, “My money is on some well done trolling towards the NY Times.”

IAS
Guest
IAS

@Badpainter – do you have some examples of women complaining about ‘spergy’ men (I presume this means somewhat autistic / Asperger)? @Juan – Newton was almost certainly autistic, he may have been gay but possibly he didn’t care that much about women regardless of caring about men. Alan Turing was gay if you want an example which is relevant to WWII like Churchill. Einstein, even though a pacifist, contributed to getting the Manhattan project started. It is certainly the case that many presumably Beta men, many of which were autistic to some extent, contributed a lot to society. This doesn’t… Read more »

little spoon :/
Guest
little spoon :/

This was hard to read…

none
Guest
none

This is just bait the NYT knows everyone will hate and link. You can almost see the writer chuckling to himself and thinking “This will really get them foaming at the mouth!”

Remember the cuckold piece, where the guy was talking about how being a feminist means he can listen to his wife describe her sexual adventures without getting jealous? Same thing.

Roused
Guest
Roused

@ Rollo What a hilarious post filled with satire. I about spilled my morning coffee enjoying this. You must have had a few good smirks and chuckles as you wrote this. The moment I read the comment indicating you might have been played by a troll made me think, no, hell no. Rollo is a sharp dude and gets how the media is played and scripted. As my career involves working in the media I am disgusted by the beta mentality in our industry, we could only improve if more men with balls and intellect like Rollo had leadership roles… Read more »

Roused
Guest
Roused

@SJF & Scribbler:

“I also love the focus on self and stopping all blaming. The world is what it is. Women are who they are. I enjoy the company of quality, interesting and beautiful women and the more I accept them for who they are and appreciate what they bring, the less difficult this all is. I also think the same is true of myself. Accepting myself and being patient with myself as a worthwhile project is a great frame for the steep climb of self-improvement.”

AGREED!

bo jangles
Guest
bo jangles

Dammit, he didnt get to whether or not we should pee standing up. Sometimes if I’ve just eaten a steak, and I’m feeling my oats(and if I think the Mrs. won’t notice), why I just whip it out and lean back. But I know how threatening that can be so normally I go squatty.

Stingray
Guest

what’s he going to use to ward off the attacker or attackers?

Apparently the melon baller, in which he shapes his perfect little mellon balls.

kfg
Guest
kfg

” . . . what’s he going to use to ward off the attacker or attackers?”

The Modern Man has such a sharp wit that he can take down prison jacked intruders while armed with nothing more than hipster irony.

benfromtexas
Guest
benfromtexas

@Stingray

I didn’t even know what a Mellon baller was. I had to google it. I was like,”Why didn’t he say an ice cream scoop?” That’s what it looks like to me.

This is a great article to troll, but as pathetic & progressive NYTimes is you never know if dude is serious or joking.

thedeti
Guest

Brilliant.

“With parts made in Japan
I am the modern Man!”

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Grand Designs
Guest
Grand Designs

Rollo:
While I drink this coffee and real in disgust reading the link: thanks for this much needed GPS munition-guided cultural bunker busting shiv(s)! One shiv for the false bill of goods that iterative Feminism has sold the modern Female wrapped in the cultural swamp of social doctrine and another shiv for the effeminate loather-wearing warped class of men who can’t seem to break the surface tensions of mass Feminine Primacy. Self-made men that are [an] abstraction of strength made visible….not even close.

SJF
Guest
SJF

I call bullshit on the original article. As a click bait con job it worksAnd the subsequent dissection of it here. A bunch of mental masturbation. Seems there is this thing called metamodernism. Which is basically the literary device that the author of the original article in the Times is using. Maybe I’m an old school post-modernist that believes in the dialectic rather than dialogue. I prefer the black and white. What I deem right, the opposite is wrong. I prefer to be correct in the fact that red pill awareness and game are pragmatic. Feminism and pseudo-christian feminists are… Read more »

SJF
Guest
SJF

“…you never know if dude is serious or joking.”

Problem is he was trying to marry both and thinks there is literary value in that. Winds up as (literary) art for art’s sake. A philosophy that the intrinsic value of art, and the only “true” art, is divorced from any didactic, moral, or utilitarian function.

francischalk
Guest

“The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet.” A fillet is a ladies cut and doesn’t have much fat to begin with; men eat bone-in ribeye.

thedeti
Guest

A ways up there, Luke asked: “Why is it that, despite the well-known Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks dynamic and women’s hypergamous nature, there’s a very particular subset of women nowadays that seem to defy hypergamy? I’m talking about a new generation of college liberal/progressive, often times reddit-active, outspoken, liberal arts/humanities-studying, 20-something women that have weak, spineless boyfriends that only have their looks going for them. Why do these women date these men, why do they engage in long-term committed relationships with them if they could just as well be riding the cock carousel? Why are they so intent on tacitly having… Read more »

SJF
Guest
SJF

@ScribblerG “The way you broke down “green light, yellow light, red light” stuff – it made me wonder if i had that kind of frame of reference whether my ex and I could have made our marriage work?” (If I mention AKay and the MAP one more time Rollo might leak a cerebral gasket, but credit is due AK for me summarizing a component of his action plan.) The short answer is it depends on the woman to move in your direction. If she is not a quality woman all bets are off. Women can and do subjugate their hind-brain… Read more »

IAS
Guest
IAS

That Case study – creative intelligence post is indeed a good example.

Female sexual strategy must somehow reward intelligence. In fact I believe many Game strategies are about showcasing the guy’s intelligence, which therefore promote the guy’s genes to the women’s subconscious hypergamy.

Good examples of this are anything humour based, like Cocky and Funny, Agree and Amplify.

keyser Soze
Guest
keyser Soze
Apostaticus Supremus
Guest
Apostaticus Supremus

The fact that some see this as a troll job indicates just how red pill those individuals have become. Yes, I mean this to be a compliment but… Let us not forget the legions of blue pill (AFC’s) who will not only subscribe to this in a thirst driven frenzy, they will demote themselves for not “seeing” this sooner. Again I think it’s cool that some have unplugged from the matrix to the point that this shit appears to be someone idea of joke. Now, for number 12, could someone tell me where I should draw a line on my… Read more »

SD
Guest
SD

Whether this article is satire or no, one thing is certain in my neck of the woods if nowhere else; the bar for Masculinity is getting lower by the moment. Case in point; among my peer group I’m apparently considered a hypermasculine misogynist. It’s all in good sport , but the crux is I don’t act especially hostile to women at all. I merely don’t let them walk over me . This seems to be a major thoughtcrime; atop that I’m visibly successful with women when we go out, so to those friends I represent some kind of Far East… Read more »

Stingray
Guest

This is an appropriate thread for more nonsense.

Let the Women’s Center define masculinity for you, Gentlemen. Because you are out of control.

/s

Not Born This Morning
Guest

Nice work Rollo. Great satire, cynical also but that’s ok because it is true and that’s what guys need to know. I especially liked how you linked so many of your other posts that detail more specifics concerning different aspects. This post is a good on for any newcomers or those who have any difficulty understanding or admitting the realities of all this. Excellent work.

Seaman Stain
Guest
Seaman Stain

“6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.” Gag. More drivel trying to shoehorn husbands and fathers into being simple servants to their wives and children instead of leaders and the authority in the home. First of all I don’t need to elaborate on why any wife of mine couldn’t do something as simple as charge her phone herself before bed. As for children if they are old enough to use an Ipad or what not on their own then they can be… Read more »

IAS
Guest
IAS

@Rollo – there is indeed a marked distinction between creative intelligence and social intelligence, I should know 🙂 What I was trying to get at was that some kind of intelligence (maybe exclusively social one) could act as an Alpha trait, as women do seem to consider high intelligence as a desirable genetic trait. Possibly this could be checked better in a statistical study of what women go for when they choose sperm donors, so that we can distinguish what they say from what they actually do. Of course if they can, they want it all (I think the best… Read more »

ETA
Guest
ETA

A little off topic, but I thought to share this article: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/12/1073566/-Women-legislators-turn-the-tables-and-introduce-bills-regulating-men-s-reproductive-health# Where Ohio’s state senator has introduced a bill to restrict men’s ability to get Viagra.to be noted is the part: “men seeking a prescription for erectile dysfunction drugs to see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and “get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotency.” Sex therapists would be required to present the option of “celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.”” Pretty much men would not be allowed to have a boner if their wives don’t want them too. “The feminist goal is… Read more »

Flatnose
Guest
Flatnose

https://www.facebook.com/Upworthy/videos/1096496203724570/

The comments are enlightening….

Fred Flange, acid house reporter
Guest
Fred Flange, acid house reporter

The college fix link isn’t opening at the moment. But in the meantime there’s this, which works the same side of the street:

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/what-means-to-be-a-man/958158/

Giving up manhood is like Guinness; it’s good for you.

PS: look at the author’s pic at the bottom. I guess that’s what is supposed to pass for a beard today amongst Park Slope hipsters; I call it face fungus.

Flatnose
Guest
Flatnose

What a comparison to these guys…
comment image

Seaman Stain
Guest
Seaman Stain

@Flatnose I noticed in the comments section on that video nothing but praise for this enlightened dad and how great it is to teach his girl no gender stereotypes. However I wonder how how much respect she loses for her dad subconsciously with every nail she paints. I saw many women in the comments section swooning over this “man” and how “attractive” he is….Another hats off to Rollo, who’s writing here pointed out to me the big difference in beta attraction and alpha panty moistening. The women pointing out how great he is and what a great husband he will… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
Guest

I don’t think the NYT author is trolling. Take it at face value. It just goes along with everything else except MY 27….and a few other guys 27… 1. I have no idea what the fuck my wife’s shoe size is nor do I give a shit. Just last week I told her if she buys another pair this year I will spank her ass and no one else cares what her damn shoes are like, except shallow harpy bitches anyway. 2. The only thing worse than being discouraged is pretending that you have courage. Usually the only way out… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader

Nice work on the clickbait, Rollo. The giveway is #22, only Carlos Slim’s hirelings would care about that.

Poe’s law at work?

Flatnose
Guest
Flatnose

@Seaman Stain. Yes, and the blue pill guy is blind to this brutal reality. Pugwash fan?.

benfromtexas
Guest
benfromtexas

@Rollo I agree with you that Hypergamy has to restructure men to fit its agenda, but wouldn’t it make sense for there to be a balance? What I mean by balance is not pushing so much Beta bullshit. If I was a chick I would want more Alphas, because there would be a percentage who would marry and be the Alpha husbands/fathers. Since there is absolutely NO balance, it would seem to me that women would see this, or at least a small percentage would. Maybe that explains women coming into the RP blogosphere? I don’t know & that’s why… Read more »

Apostaticus Supremus
Guest
Apostaticus Supremus

@SD “We don’t see it as unplugged men because that’s not our reality, so it seems totally incredulous men live like this.” I think I may have failed to clearly state my point which is: Do not be so quick to dismiss this as trolling or clickbate because you see this as the utter bs that it is. It is red pill awareness that makes this appear to be a benign ploy. The other part of my point is that there is a huge crop of AFC’s who will accept this with open arms, hence your legitimate concern for the… Read more »

Seaman Stain
Guest
Seaman Stain

@Flatnose

Ha no, before my time. I was in the Coast Guard and spent a lot of time at sea; my moniker is just one of numerous silly things you hear in the military on a daily basis.

Seaman Stain
Guest
Seaman Stain

@ ben I used to ask this same question until I realized the truth that is stated here and elsewhere, that women have no clue what they want. They don’t sit around and logically analyze things like this, nor do they sit in self-introspection to have moments of clarity like men do. It’s best to think of women as overgrown children, makes everything much easier. They get tingles or vibes and just react, they don’t think about why. Ever have a chick say “I don’t know why I feel so strong about you, I just do!”? Like children the girl… Read more »

Andy
Guest
Andy

Forgive my ignorance, but can someone explain to me how this would be “Trolling?” I don’t get it. Do you mean that someone is just manipulating the editor to get their name in the paper?

Andy
Guest
Andy

As I’ve stated before, it is the purview of the Feminine Imperative that masculinity must be deliberately obfuscated and made to be ambiguous and ridiculous in order to redefine it to suit Hypergamy.

I was at the Boston Science museum this weekend and I saw a three year old boy with a sparkly pink headband on his short haired head. He was being watched by a man that looked completely dead inside.

We are definitely losing this war.

IAS
Guest
IAS

@Benfromtexas: as Seaman Stain wrote, the vast majority of women (and men) are oblivious. The women don’t really know what they want and rationalize it; the men believe what they are being told the women want according to what is socially acceptable (Sandberg quote that Rollo repeats many times). Clearly it isn’t really working so well for many women either as they reach the wall, even those that manage to grab a Beta Bucks husband are apparently unhappy, and many of them don’t even manage that and are wondering where have all the nice men gone. Rationally thinking about it,… Read more »

The Brass Cat
Guest
The Brass Cat

What’s the deal with Cailou? Does he have cancer or something? I see on the linked website that he’s a product of Quebec, so that explains a lot.

SJF
Guest
SJF

Andy,

Troll in the sense that the author is being provocative and inflammatory to promote an emotional response (which it has), instead of just being cutish and faggy and really believing in what he’s writing (unlikely).

See Sun Wukongs link to Poe’s law. He might be just trying to get someones goat. Or he might be writing a metamodernistic literary click-bait masterpiece. The motivations are vague but the dull shiv to masculinity is real. And it succeeds as click bait no matter what.

Seaman Stain
Guest
Seaman Stain

@ The Brass Cat All you need to know about Caillou summed up in this comment: “Let me begin by saying that I am writing this with Caillou actually playing in the background. I personally find Caillou weird – he is 5 and bald – this requires explanation. His parents are very poochy. They are all very doughy people. I’m not sure why. Caillou’s dad has bigger hips than me. Just sayin’ But what you said made me think…I think you’re right – there are few really nurturing sweet male characters on kid TV and I think that kind of… Read more »

Andy
Guest
Andy

@SJF

Thanks man. Makes sense. I would say it is hard to distinguish if it is satire or not. Maybe within context of that editor’s articles we could figure it out. Even the little pic of the man with the tear in his eye is ambiguous. I have a hard time believing the NYTimes would knowingly publish satire. Ever. Either way, beautiful unintentional satire! haha.

I hope the editor is fired!

Seaman Stain
Guest
Seaman Stain

@IAS

Good point about the men just believing what they are told. Countless times I’ve heard women spew verbal diarrhea about what they want in a man, a guy better be this or that yada yada….only to see her a week later with a dude totally opposite of what she said. Sucks for the blue pill guys who take what the girl says at face value and believes what she says is what she means.

“She said she likes a guy who brings her flowers. I brought her flowers, so why isn’t she into me?” Cuz you beta’d son!

kfg
Guest
kfg

“What I mean by balance is not pushing so much Beta bullshit.” Holy putting yourself entirely within the frame of the Feminine Imperative, Batman. ” . . . wouldn’t it make sense for there to be a balance?” Yes, but do you know what balance is? Well, I’ll tell you; balance is equal opposing forces. The FI is not balanced by women not pushing the poor men around so hard, it is balanced by men pushing back. And that is why there is considerable sentiment in some quarters to blame men for the current situation, because they have abdicated their… Read more »

CaveClown
Guest
CaveClown

women’s health magazine responded with a 27 point list for the modern man and sex, number 4 is the best:

“4. The modern man compliments a woman’s physical appearance excessively when she disrobes in his presence.”

although #22 is awesome too:

“22. The modern man is happy to watch a pornographic film of his woman’s choosing, even if said film is The Notebook.”

I honestly cant figure out if the NY times original piece is trolling or not. It seems like it could be serious…except maybe the mountain dew one.

Rollo’s response is great.

enrique
Guest
enrique

http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/24488/

Students warned: Bulging biceps, big guns advance unhealthy masculinity

The comments section is priceless, and demonstrates how RP aware men are becoming.

enrique
Guest
enrique

could rollo have actually had better fodder?

“That message and similar ones were conveyed recently to students during Vanderbilt University’s “Healthy Masculinities Week,” organized by the Margaret Cuninggim Women’s Center. Attendance for students was optional.

The Vanderbilt week kicked off with a lecture by the first man to minor in women’s studies at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, Jackson Katz. (His alma mater now offers a bachelor’s in women, gender and sexuality studies.)

The self-described “anti-sexist activist” and filmmaker said that sexual violence and domestic abuse are men’s issues and that men would “benefit tremendously from having this conversation.” “

SJB
Guest
SJB

Who ever buys shoes for someone else? That can’t be a troll as it’s not even faintly plausible.
.
I’d suggest a female attempting to write in a “male voice” and just failing.

benfromtexas
Guest
benfromtexas

@Seaman Stain

Thanks. I’ve been thinking the same thing by just viewing them like kids with toys. It’s weird because our brains would Evolve to solve problems like building shelter, hunting, protecting, ect… Their brains just stayed in dinosaur mode. It just amazes me how they don’t see washed up broken women but we do.

Rollo is 100% when he talks about their solipsism. It rules them.

benfromtexas
Guest
benfromtexas

@IAS

Agreed.

benfromtexas
Guest
benfromtexas

@kfg I don’t think I was putting myself in the feminine frame, but if you think that way then that’s fine. I was wanting to know if you have a girl. I have 2 younger nieces, and I try to explain to them right now to cash out early in the SMP. It looks like the only hope for them is our close family with a lot of control over them. However that won’t happen when they go off to college. I take advantage of my opportunities because the amount of dudes acting gay or not approaching works to my… Read more »

SGT Ted
Guest
SGT Ted

This is a monumental fisking. Well done!

IAS
Guest
IAS

@kfg and continuing the balance thing… I think there may be a common misunderstanding (not necessarily by kfg, mind you). Hypergamy, if it serves anything, it serves the selfish genes of the woman wanting to propagate together with the best genes they can get from a man (note that hypergamy isn’t aware that birth control exists). If we believe the biological source of hypergamy, then it was an evolutionary selected behaviour precisely to achieve this gene propagation goal. It isn’t much use trying to guess if the Feminine Imperative is consciously aware of this and striving to maximize hypergamy on… Read more »

kfg
Guest
kfg

“I was wanting to know if you have a girl. I have 2 younger nieces . . . ” I have two nieces approaching the wall. One cashed in for a beta provider a couple of years ago, the other has decided to be a forever English major, with cats. You could tell which one was which just by looking at them. “The balance I was referring to is the hope for creating more Alphas for them . . .” But you did so by appealing to women not to push the beta thing so hard. If you want better… Read more »

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