The Unbearable Rightness of Being Female

unbearable

The following post quote has been making the rounds in professional circles. It’s from Sallie Krawcheck, CEO of Ellevest, an investment firm dedicated to helping women with financial investment (no jargon, no ‘playing’ stocks for sport, no mansplaining, you got this). She’s also the “chair” of Elevate Network, a global professional women’s network. I’m adding this here to make a later point, but it’s important to understand how normalized it’s become for women to create a sexually exclusionary organization for women who will simultaneously complain about men’s sexism for not accommodating their (presumably successful) business culture to the interests of women. More on that later.

I thought I’d riff on this click-bait for, I assume, professional women because I expect we’ll see more of this prefabricated outrage in the coming years as a response to what will undoubtedly be the suffering of the Trump era in America. I’ll be the first to admit I was surprised by Trump’s win, but the denial of the First Female President® into the White House will be the cause du jour for every jilted woman who believes she’s a “professional”. Even if Clinton had won the mainstream would’ve been inundated with how ‘we still have a long way to go’ stories, however, with Trump in the Presidency the same tired narrative of systemic male sexism will get reinvigorated in the coming years.

From, A Letter to young women, in the age of Trump:

When I was your age, I thought it was over. My mother was a feminist, so I wanted to call myself anything but a feminist. And anyway, I seemed pretty welcome at work. Even though it was Wall Street, my analyst class was about a third women. We weren’t just on our way — we’d arrived.

But then…there were the inappropriate pictures left on my desk. The guy miming a sex act when my back was turned. I wasn’t given the great assignments; the more senior woman I worked with was likewise dismissed as “lightweight” (and, lest you think that might have been true, that woman was Safra Catz, now the co-President of Oracle). Then the women started to fall away in their 30s…more in their 40s. But the worst of it, I thought was over.

And now Trump has made it clear to everyone that the battle for us women is not over.

In femopshere there will always be an ‘us’. As I’ve outline in many prior essays, the Sisterhood will always take precedence above religion, politics, personal conviction and even family affiliations for women. Largely this is due to women’s evolved propensity for collectivism among their own sex. In our hunter gatherer beginnings women had an interdependent need for collective support for keeping tribal cohesion as well as child rearing.

This intrasexual collective support has carried over into what’s become the Sisterhood today. If you look at the interactions of young girls and their social group interdependence you begin to see that nascent tribal collectivism naturally come through. In terms of larger societal scope this collectivity becomes about acknowledging a shared experience of an imagined oppression by men. Between all women there is a gestalt understanding of “the plight of women” and a presumption of an endemic sexism no matter how culturally or socioeconomically dissimilar those women are.

As I mentioned, Trump is now a universal icon of that presumption of sexism and oppression. Granted, it could’ve been any man who displaced a woman in the history books, but the fall back presumption is that whoever ‘he’ is, he becomes emblematic of a ready narrative of sexism irrespective of merit. We presume sexism, we presume a guy would mime a sex act behind a woman’s back and leave ‘inappropriate’ pictures on a woman’s desk despite decades of workplace harassment legislation. We believe it because it sounds right; it sounds like something a typical sexist guy would do.

I can’t stop thinking about this and what we can / should do:

Remember that gender bias in the workplace is not a thing of the past. I’m sorry if I didn’t act when I should have. I thought we had left sexism behind us by the time I was in more senior roles. After all, we had complaint hotlines and diversity plans and requirements for diverse slates of candidates for every job. But now I’m remembering one of the members of the senior leadership team who would kiss younger women on the cheek at the beginning of meetings. Creepy, right? I now wonder what was being said when I wasn’t in that room.

What’s creepy is that in spite of years in a professional field that’s been the domain of men she’s just now remembering this fact. Would it have been less creepy if he’d kissed only his age-appropriate women on his leadership team? Professional women’s default presumption is that it is always sexism that is holding them back from breaking through a mythologized ‘glass ceiling’, but as is women’s solipsism, their first thought is that their problems are caused by externalities. Never is there an insight that they may simply lack the skills or that they don’t perform at their peak in a job they were told should be rewarding to them.

Gender biases will never be a thing of the past because to suggest they ever might be so is to presume a default state of egalitarian equality between the sexes. The gender biases in the workplace are most evident in the peer selection and peer evaluations of women – not some secret group of guys getting together in a private office room to expressly talk about a their co-workers’ tits.

As it stands in today’s modern office men are scared shitless every time they are called to cooperate with a woman on work projects for fear of being accused of sexism or harassment:

“In a lawsuit-happy culture, where claims can be made on a ‘he said/she said’ basis, men are now trying to ensure their actions are always covered by a third party witness”

“The terror of being accused of sexual harassment is now so common it has its own term, ‘backlash stress”

There’s a reason HR departments are largely staffed by women, because they want to be positioned in a way that they can execute policy. HR departments no longer exist to serve the company with regards to employees, rather they exist in order to protect that company from lawsuits and enforce feminine-primary conditions in the workplace.

Ask tough questions, and call the guys out when necessary. I recently asked my best guy friend: “Do guys really talk like Donald Trump and Billy Bush behind closed doors?” His response: “No, but…” And the “but” was that the conversations are more along the lines of: “Boy, she has great legs,” or “she’s a looker” or “Whew. Wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole.” When I asked him how he responded to this, he said he didn’t say anything; after all, he has to work with these folks.

But so do we. And breaking us down to our body parts or our appearance dehumanizes us in some way. Maybe it’s only in some small way. But it’s clear that for some years, we (and by we, I mean I) were likely too complacent about the inevitability of gender progress in the workplace and relaxed perhaps just a bit too much.

It’s funny and irreverent when all the girls in the office get together for drinks or a male revue strip show after work, but it’s dehumanizing when men do the same. I’ve known very few men who would ever comment on a woman’s anatomy in a workplace environment. I have known men who would scold other men for staring a little too long at a female co-worker. I have known women to actively flirt with guys and wear inappropriate outfits to get attention from them. I’ve known women who’ve called me and other men I’ve worked with their “work husbands”.

I’ve worked in the liquor and casino promotion businesses for two decades now. I see some pretty wild behavior on the part of women who are not unlike the poor victimized dears Krawcheck describes going to work on Monday mornings.

The modern workplace culture has conditioned men for fear of women thanks largely to strict codes of conduct, but also because these men have been raised from birth to be dutiful Betas and White Knights who look for every opportunity to correct a ‘typical man’ for his sexist and rude behaviors. They look for these backroom boys clubs where women are rated on their looks so as to expose their heinous misogyny and institutionalized sexism, but they are disappointed when they don’t actually find it. So instead they contribute to an atmosphere of fear in some lame form of Beta Game they hope will be recognized and rewarded for by workplace women.

If you’re in a bad work situation, it’s ok to quit. So many women think that it’s a “failure” if you quit your job; and you know how hard we females take failure. But sometimes it’s not us: it’s them.

I recently left the board of a non-profit that I LOVE. I had been on it for years (and years). At nearly every meeting I asked how much we were spending on our investment managers, in comparison to the return we were getting. Meeting after meeting I was told that the answer was complex, it was hard to calculate, it would take a lot of work – and why did it matter anyway? It was really the net returns that matter, regardless of how much we paid for them. And then, last spring, before I could bring up the topic, one of the men did; and all the other guys eagerly agreed with him, that we need to keep an eye on fees because those are really all we can control.

I quit the next week.

Life is too short, and I can have a lot more impact with the week-a-year I get back instead of being ignored in meetings.

I know not everyone is in the position to quit; I wasn’t earlier in my career. So the onus is also on those of us who are more senior to be more supportive of women who leave these situations. I am hopeful that an outcome of this election will be greater understanding of this.

If it had been a woman who’d made the same suggestion would we be hearing about this? Shit like this happens all the time in the workplace. One reason The 48 Laws of Power resonated with men so well is because it was relatable to exactly this kind of situation. Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit for it yourself. Sallie sees this as sexism because it happened to be a guy who pulled it on her, but would she have quit the non-profit had it been a woman who outplayed her?

This is the reality of even the most seemingly benign of companies. They are defined by the interplay of power dynamics, but when women are bested in it the sexism narrative is ready on standby to comfort and explain their failure. So it becomes OK to quit, because the environment is always sexist. The business environment is one defined by competition and this grates on women’s expectation of it to be cooperative and collective. Women like Sallie expect recognition for merit, but wish for things to be easier rather than developing the skills to play the game better.

Get yourself a senior, successful – preferably female – mentor, who can help you navigate the politics of your company. This includes the gender politics. Can’t find one on your own? Speak to HR about helping you find one; this is their job, after all.

Your company doesn’t have a senior, successful female? Get the hell out of there.

Really the only sexism I’m seeing in this piece has been one coming from and endorsed by Krawcheck. She bemoans a lack of gender equity and then suggests a female mentor would be preferable to a male one. Her sexism is blatant here – the only definition of a solid reputable company is one that ensures it has a senior, successful female in it. Since most HR departments are staffed primarily with women it’s their job to help you find a senior, successful and female mentor? I’m not a business insider, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t their job.

I made this point in Male Space, but what happens when women insert themselves into a traditionally male dominated domain is that the enterprise becomes about accommodating the female influences rather than the enterprise itself. This entire article is an indictment of this. Again, the solution to a woman’s problem of not being successful is sought externally.

Do your best to make sure that your success is quantified. Be it a sales goal, a client satisfaction rating, an output metric, a quality target. Numbers count here because they’re black-and-white, cut-and-dried. Were you successful or not? I recommend this even if you work in a “normal” company, because implicit gender biases and expectations still exist for all of us.

Solid enough advice, but it’s couched in the context of an expectation of gender biases (at least the type of bias Sallie finds unacceptable). There’re implicit gender biases, but the ones we see dominate even ‘normal’ companies are ones that favor a feminized workforce.

Think about starting your own thing. This is what’s exciting; we have the ability to start our own businesses today, in a way we didn’t in the past. Why not take our marbles to our own playgrounds and build great businesses and cultures? Our mothers couldn’t do this because the cost was so high – but the costs of everything-about-starting-a-business, including technology, people (i.e., freelancers), real estate (co-working spaces) and support services are coming down. And then no one can relegate you to the less-interesting jobs.

Women are taught that they deserve the luxury of interesting jobs. In fact this is the sole reason for even wanting to enter the workforce most times – a rewarding career that’s fulfilling, but as I wrote in She’s Unhaaapy… that fulfillment is always elusive. Therefore it must be that uncooperative men are holding women back from this happiness.

I’m not sure opening another gourmet cupcake eatery counts as contributing to the status of women in business, but I would say that women ought to be encouraged to start up their own businesses rather than rely on the proven successes of established ones to prove their business acumen. Carly Fiorina and Sheryl Sandberg are not innovators in any sense. Neither started a company from scratch, but they are lauded as powerful businesswomen because they supposedly had the moxie to compete with the big boys and their sexist enterprises – not actually as a result of their companies wanting to present a feminine-correct public image.

I would love to see women’s organic business successes despite themselves, but my guess is that every failure or setback would have some tinge of external sexism attached to them. The truth is there are very few women who actually create something of worth because the easier path to success is to create a social convention that shames men for not including women in their own successes. It will always be easier for women to appropriate the success of men rather than create anything for themselves.

I am going to go out of my way to support other women. It’s clear now: we can’t do this alone. Another woman who is promoted or celebrated or funded clears the way for another. I am actively looking to buy from women-owned businesses, which is much easier these days — Glossier, Outdoor Voices, and Project September are just a few of a new wave of startups led by women — and avoid companies that remain all-men. I’m just so over supporting them.

And here we have yet more fem-centric sexism in a piece decrying male sexism. Weren’t we just reading about how surprised Sallie was about gender bias not being a thing of the past in the workplace? Because Trump won the election she calls for a boycott from buying anything from male owned companies?

One thing I’ve always found ironic about women’s call for collective, gender-exclusionary support for other women is that women are often guilty of even worse infighting than men are in the workplace. Lets face it, women hate other women to a degree that most men are unaware of. Their capacity for sub-communication and psychological warfare among themselves makes intra-sexual competition more brutal than having to deal with any so-called sexist male co-worker. From women’s collectivist perspective one would think that women’s intra-sexual support of other women would make them all outstanding successes in business, but we find the opposite is true. Women have a very hard time making an all-female enterprise a success. Naturally this is blamed, again, on men’s sexists brinksmanship and outmaneuvering them, but by and large it’s internal conflict that destroys all-female run enterprises.

Invest. Having spent my career on Wall Street and now being the founder of Ellevest, a digital investment platform for women, I know I’m a broken record on this topic. But men invest to a greater extent than women do, and it costs us. Indeed, I believe investing is the best career advice women aren’t getting. Think about it – are you more able to tell your boss to take this job and shove it if you have more money or less money?

That’s what I thought. At the end of the day, money is the real key to gender equality.

Of course we get the sales pitch at the end. Women don’t invest because it’s not sexy. It requires a degree of commitment and a depth of insight that goes well beyond what an average woman has any interest in. I do find it entertaining that Sallie finally gets to the real reason for a gender inequality she claims she wants to see abolished. Money is most definitely a key to establishing social dominance and that creates a fundamentally unequal condition between men and women.

Businesses, successful ones, are founded on competition, not cooperation. This is the fundamental conflict we are experiencing in today’s corporate culture; women’s collectivism promotes what they believe should be a successful enterprise based on egalitarian cooperation while men largely see the enterprise as competition. Sometimes this is a win-at-any-cost type of competition, other times it may be more subtle, but the crux is that women’s propensity to want for a more collectivist approach to a successful enterprise is at odds with men’s competitive approach. Success in business is fundamentally unegalitarian, there are winners and losers, not co-equal participation trophy winners. But as women continue to insert themselves into the unegalitarian male spaces of enterprise we will see this push for cooperative hopes for business success fundamentally alter the purpose of these businesses as we attempt more and more to accommodate them.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

Re: fighting. 25 years back @ Ft. Bragg we’d throw punches regularly with townies, each other. We’d settle scores. A couple blanket parties in Basic. It was a rush, but never felt my life was at stake, even when getting bested (even choked down once). Couple fights in college, 2 in my 30’s. Sometimes we have to fight, there’s no alternative. All the advice here is really sound. Wow. Perhaps this stems from selection bias, but my desire to keep people, you guys in particular, safe, is important to me. My community is changing with immigrant populations who hold different… Read more »

traveluzion
traveluzion
3 years ago

“How many are beauty, food, craft or women’s interests related?” i don’t doubt it. Women and men are different. I am all for it think jill Stein would have been the best choice for president. Amazingly smart woman she would have done so much for health and bring some sanity to the world. Still Trump could get her on board to help him that would be a smart move. She might not have got many votes but still she has risen to the top of the green party and is influencing the situation globally. I would think a synthesis of… Read more »

John
John
3 years ago

@SFC Ton

I hope you are right about trump, I just can’t help but be highly skeptical about his flip flopping and the people he has surrounded himself with (Rudy Giuliani, Ben Carson and now Mitt Romney). That feud between Trump and Mitt feels fake now…

SFC Ton
3 years ago

LOL flaming mug? Trying to recall the name of that place in Spring Lake. Biker joint… always getting busted up —— Tribal pride and masculinity has a kill or be killed hard edge in these communities. Badness happens instantaneously and is permanent….. Proficiency in violence is job #1 for men because the world is always tribe vs tribe everything in the smp is a proxy for violence because violence is how you keep your shit your shit, your bitch your bitch and your get from having his head smashed against a tree. People don’t see that as clearly know because… Read more »

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I think know Trump made a smart move with mittens Trump isnt all that into foreign policy shit. Mostly I think his plan is to disengage and shore up old alliances Obama pissed on. Mittens can do that. Trump is going to need the GOP machine to get shit done. Mittens is part of that machine son Trump makes nice on a topic he doesn’t much give a fuck about and hopefully gathers support for battles he does want to win I think. Fuck manot, what do I know? I didn’t graduate high school and only got my diploma because… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“The greens have these other business mdels in their plan like cooperative business . . .” The reason you think that the male archetype has been corrupted is because your male archetype has been corrupted. You are not a White Knight. You are a girl. And with a girl’s eyes you cannot see how the male competitive business model is far more cooperative than the female consensus model. “Certainly for the business world I would reccommend investment in the highest quality organic foods from family homesteads . . .” The last time that was tried 100 million starved in a… Read more »

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@SFC Ton, have you seen the movie The Big Short? Jesus man, you have to see it if you have not. Even with Trump in, the swamp isn’t drained, and the Federal Reserve and corrupt banks got away with their crimes through bailouts, and the problem was never solved and is even bigger than it was before. The way I see it through analogy: Imagine a boat with half the crew battling the other half for control. Each side has their leader and each side is busy complaining about the flaws of each leader. Meanwhile, a $19 trillion hole in… Read more »

scray
scray
3 years ago

@rollo (from last thread) Witnessing guys with Game, who go against what you’d expect a woman would respond to are the exception. Very few guys run Game in the sense that PUA presents it. Fewer still make it effective. Totally cosign with your comment there. By and large what I see out and about is just large muscular dudes with like 10% game and that’s that. This is probably the main reason why PUAs are so on guard against the theoretical stuff. Theory and “abstractions” and whatever become substitutes for the real deal of getting out in the field. Like,… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

EhIntellect Culum Blax Fighting… heh I grew up in a place like this [great scene, all the dialogue, the ball busting, the older guys pushing the younger guy, the vendetta, the tribalism… spot on] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZIq4SfLNMk any random day or night shit like this would go down, generally because we were bored or drunk or “Us” came upon “them” or vice versa… guys from different towns or streets… I first bloodied a kids nose when I was on the bus in kindergarten, i was 4. He was a first grader. My 6th grader neighbor who was in charge of getting me… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“The best example is the concept of being an “asshole” or a “dick.””

As per an above comment, as often as not a man being an “asshole” or a “dick” is actually being a Gentleman. And as I have mentioned before, if you really want to piss an “Entitled Princess” off, actually treat her as if she were an actual Princess.

And you are a King.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

@ Ton “People don’t see that as clearly know because the violence is done by professionals and normally away from the public eye but reality never changes because human nature doesn’t change.” This is important. Our society has compartmentalized the reality of violence so that it can be removed (mostly) from our lives in the name of civilization. The ‘dread’ of violence or physical coercion of any sort is really at the heart of why people even get along as well as they do. So we are made weak by our insulation and dependent upon others. We still have some… Read more »

scray
scray
3 years ago

@all

reality never changes because human nature doesn’t change.”

comment image

these appeals to “human nature” are always mad gay.

Huma Abedin
Huma Abedin
3 years ago

1) AA
2) Diversity laws
3) White Knighting
4) PC terrorism
5) The Feminist MSM
6) CultMarxism

Take these away and judge girls on their ability. How many are still in employment?
Maybe 10% & all in crappy jobs like secretary. No way in jobs for responsible adults that men have to bail them out.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

@scray – to me, this whole site is about human nature

please clarify

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@kfg

if you really want to piss an “Entitled Princess” off, actually treat her as if she were an actual Princess.
And you are a King.

In line with your suggestion, I have trained Mrs. Gamer. Mrs. Gamer says, “Thank you, Sir,” whenever I do her a courtesy. I usually answer, “You’re welcome, my Love.” We are both equally pleased after this exchange, even though she treats me with more respect and I treat her with more affection.

The Taming of the Shrew strikes again!

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@Sentient, check this vid. Good for getting syked before sarging, fighting (and banging after looking at the drummer).

SFC Ton
3 years ago

Mad gay……

You’re mad and gay?
Or
Mad that you are gay?

Or by mad do you mean insane? As in
Your are insane and gay
OR insanely gay?

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I saw the movie. I stayed awake during it. Which happens like once every couple of years

The whole system is a cesspool

hank holiday
hank holiday
3 years ago

@yareally @culum @forge @pua I’ve figured out a bit more on my stack. The “were you at that party” is to use in any difficult situations. For example, a girl studying, a girl in a hard to reach spot. Its more neutral so you can squeeze into more difficult social situations without being too provocative up front. However, the more ideal ones to use are to OPEN on either the “you (girls) are trouble.” or my new opener. Those start out with a sexual tone and supercharge it right away. “were you at the party” is good and all, but… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
3 years ago
Reply to  hank holiday
Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

traveluzion
“How many are beauty, food, craft or women’s interests related?” i don’t doubt it. Women and men are different. I am all for it think jill Stein would have been the best choice for president.

Did you donate to her recount effort?

hank holiday
hank holiday
3 years ago

@pua @yareally @culum nothing else, kind of an icky day out, so not many people. Work for the next few days, but may be able to sneak in some in field here and there. discovered how to do my stack right. like I said before, “were you at party” is best for more difficult situs because its more neutral — and the other thing is that it also has a baked in excuse. I’m not some random dude sitting down next to this girl, I think I know her. So it relaxes the girl for this reason, plus makes her… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@Scray Like, TRM is of great use to a guy who is constantly getting out there and applying it and making it a part of who he is. But it’s probably only a hindrance otherwise, because if you can’t see what the concepts refer to in real life, you’re going to come away empty-handed. You’re going to connect those concepts to the only reference experiences you have, which are probably themselves facsimiles of reality — think movies, comic books, plays, etc. The “GO OUT MOAR” mantra just comes first because the journey is hard enough as it is. Now, when… Read more »

Pellaeon
Pellaeon
3 years ago

@Hank In case you haven’t already seen it, I left you a comment on the last thread (transitioning). @YaReally & PUA FR Train Rides and Errands THE TRAIN Haven’t gotten back out on a dedicated sarging session, but I’ve been trying to practice some interactions while doing my daily business. Had a long 14 hour train ride to go out and visit family, so I got some practice in there. First thing, I chatted up the guy sitting next to me, just to practice being social, and to build that base. Found out he’s from Japan and loves trains, so… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

Hey Pellaeon

You write/express yourself well.

Just Saying
Just Saying
3 years ago

Your company doesn’t have a senior, successful female? Get the hell out of there. The problem is that women have completely different agendas then men. A man can have a family, or another family, at 80 if he has resources. Look at Trump – at 70 he has a 10 yr old – not too many women that would be able to boast that – actually, none. Unless they used a donor egg – and then it really isn’t “her” baby – she was just an unpaid surrogate. Men remain fertile till he dies – and beyond. So women regularly… Read more »

scray
scray
3 years ago

@SJF Young Guy’s frame being to engage with HB 8+, 25 y.o., Old Guys having been there and done that and having had a lot of reference experiences. Okay, but if your reference experiences were so rock solid, why would you need TRM at all? I admit we haven’t. But that doesn’t diminish the abstract ideas we spout. YES. IT. DOES.. If you’re just spouting a lot of abstract ideas and you have no gameplan for how anyone could apply those ideas, it just brings one to ask “well lol, if you can’t even explain how it works, how useful… Read more »

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

When you go to the shop, you’re using energy from the food you consumed either that morning or the night before. The petrol you use in your car is the altered organic matter from animals and plants that lived hundreds of millions of years ago. Energy is the only way an economy can grow or maintain the standard of living for the populace within it’s domain. America’s problems today were discussed by President Jimmy Carter in his address to the nation on energy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8HwVeSMuhE In his speech President Carter discussed job losses, oil embargoes, regional conflicts (war for oil and… Read more »

redpillgirlnotes
3 years ago

This! “One thing I’ve always found ironic about women’s call for collective, gender-exclusionary support for other women is that women are often guilty of even worse infighting than men are in the workplace. Lets face it, women hate other women to a degree that most men are unaware of.” Not to mention, I wonder how many of those female co-workers who fell to the wayside she maybe took out herself? I’d be curious to hear their side… Her whole letter seems like a “boo boo” mixed w generous “go gurl” plus some standard “those ebul men!” lead in to the… Read more »

redlight
redlight
3 years ago

The problem that @oxen refers to needs to be put in historical context: The problem just kept piling up until, in the eighteen-nineties, it seemed virtually insurmountable. One commentator predicted that by 1930 horse manure would reach the level of Manhattan’s third-story windows. New York’s troubles were not New York’s alone; in 1894, the Times of London forecast that by the middle of the following century every street in the city would be buried under nine feet of manure. It was understood that flies were a transmission vector for disease, and a public-health crisis seemed imminent. When the world’s first… Read more »

stuffinbox
3 years ago

Scray I definitely get the disconnect between OMG & YSG. It does appear to be abstract,mindset,sense of purpose,composure,they are just girls ect.. With no actual instructions like DHV spike emotion,neg,ect. One thing I learned is every time I take a short cut I am eventualy screwed by it,self destructive disguised as fast reward,also everyone has to come to their own conclusions or the lessons don’t stick. For the most part a red pill aware OMG is a natural.He wasn’t always a natural,you have to start somewhere.It is just that the things I tried in the pickup game never seemed to… Read more »

stuffinbox
3 years ago

Scray SJF is not going to prescribe a bandaid for a chronic condition,for some things there is no topical solution,hence he subscribes life change,diet,fitness,attitude,lifestyle change etc.This doesn’t mean he isn’t aware of every topical solution under the sun,it means that he has tried them all and they don’t give the results that a master expects. Hope this isn’t too abstract of an explanation,not trying to explain things away by any means,as that is just another topical solution and by all means use a bandaid untill you find something that works better. Loading...

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

@redlight, It’s not just a case of building some underground pipes to dispose of our sewage. Oil and gas have no equivalent in terms of energy density and ease of transport. The economy as we know it was formed on cheap, plentiful oil and gas. The harder to extract shale oil is now being targeted. Though those oil wells have a steep decline rate. Many are depleted within 6-24 months. A few commentators believe the world hit peak oil in 2005. The depression hit in 2007/8. We never came out of that economic period. I would even argue we’ve been… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Culum EhIntellect Blax Further on fighting… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odjfqGg_RNM Vagina Dominator over at Le Chateau just posted his primer video on open hand fighting… he has been discussing this for a few years. Says will only be up for a week. It is a very good video covering the core concepts of stance, how to generate power, striking… if you have studied Tai Chi and other similar martial arts you will recognize a lot of the footwork. Teach boys the basics early… guard, stance, distance, a few strikes – and they will be miles ahead of most guys they run into… and… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Scray

I bet once you start doing that, the tactics are going to start looking more and more similar to gasp! the PUA tactics you think are just completely inapplicable to your market.

Once you boil down why the tactics work they are going to start looking more and more like they have these characteristics in common… dynamic, passionate and authentic.

replay what you are doing in field and note when things are working…

Not abstract… refined.

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“Once you boil down why the tactics work they are going to start looking more and more like they have these characteristics in common… dynamic, passionate and authentic.”

What’s your advice for a socially stunted incel? Be DPA? BE DPA DUDE!

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

Apologies to stuffinbox I typed this up before I read your comments (except for the last paragraph): Hey Scray, Rollo and a lot of the regular commenters are here because they want to be. Not strictly because of need. Just like Mystery M3 method spelled out a specific action system for PUA, so had pre-purple pill Athol Kay and subsequently updated and revised by Blue Pill Professor spelled out specific action plan (12 steps based on soft dread). Married or LTR red pill game has already had an action plan. It’s called read the side bar at MRP reddit and… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@Ollie

None of your comments hit the big problems for workers.

Big problem #1…Automation…a lot fewer low-skill jobs

Big problem #2…lots of women in the work force…especially health care and real estate…depresses wages for all

Big problem #3…cheap wages in asia for high skill jobs (7 million IT degrees in one year from asia)…outsourcing

Big problem #4…greedy capitalist pigs…oh, wait, this isn’t a problem…everybody follows Adam Smith and his benign selfishness idea because cutthroat attacks on consumers and workers cause major problems for the attacker

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

What’s you advice for a socially stunted incel Andy?

theasdgamer
3 years ago

Good news on the dating coach front…I was able to help a friend figure a girl (and her signals) out and he is now making progress with her.

@Scray, while my game can always use improvement, it’s not my major focus…I’m primarily here to find out how I can help other men.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy What’s your advice for a socially stunted incel? Be DPA? BE DPA DUDE! Dynamic means what? At it’s simplest it is a BIAS TOWARDS ACTION… A “stunted” incel (and everyone was incel at some point… lol) does not have a bias towards action… Like in the fighting video above [fighting is natural], humans are already programmed to mate… a lot of what constitutes PUA advice revolves around unlocking what you have taught yourself to hide… even Yareally will agree that a 4YO is naturally Alpha… So open, bust a move, take a step, say something… nothing happens otherwise… it… Read more »

mersonia
3 years ago

^ Most incels would kill themselves before taking above advice.

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“Noobs like proscribed opens and stacks because they do not understand nor trust the why things work behind the how… They just want to get on the how… which is fine but you can definitely get further faster with understanding the why, the principles. which blends into authenticity…”

Sounds exactly like what a PUA would recommend to me. I literally don’t see any difference. Like the BEING paradigm instead of DOING paradigm. That’s Julien’s latest tack. He’s a pick up artists right?

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

In the article it was said women prefer collectives whereas men require competition. But globalisation is competition. Yet our response (as men) is to try to name and shame corporations which ship jobs overseas (does the shaming part sound familiar) and try to (collectively) get our governments to impose tariffs (and other protective measures) on foreign goods. I don’t mind b*tching about women, so long as my case is rock solid and it’s a genuine grievance. The rest doesn’t concern me. If a woman wants to empower herself, my response is ‘go for it’. A woman makes a lifestyle choice… Read more »

sfer
sfer
3 years ago

@scray

There really isn’t actionable advice for married guys in the same way as PUA. With PUA you learn by fucking up. In a marriage, your wife remembers every fuck-up so you need to be careful.

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“In a marriage, your wife remembers every fuck-up so you need to be careful.”

They don’t… lol. If they did I’d be fucked.

sfer
sfer
3 years ago

The greeks had the concept of Praxis:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Praxis_(process)

Praxis may be described as a form of critical thinking and comprises the combination of reflection and action. Praxis can be viewed as a progression of cognitive and physical actions:

Taking the action
Considering the impacts of the action
Analysing the results of the action by reflecting upon it
Altering and revising conceptions and planning following reflection
Implementing these plans in further actions

This creates a cycle which can be viewed in terms of educational settings, learners and educational facilitators.

othergrain
othergrain
3 years ago

“Noobs like proscribed opens and stacks because they do not understand nor trust the why things work behind the how… They just want to get on the how… which is fine but you can definitely get further faster with understanding the why, the principles.” I think that lots of noobs do understand the Why, if they’re studying pickup. They know Why a certain story is a DHV while another isnt, for example. The first hurdle is seeing a girl attracted to you, then the trust (in yourself, in the Why) can come in. Using a proscribed line and getting the… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“At that point well-begun in relationship Game is half-done.” Word. “At it’s simplest it is a BIAS TOWARDS ACTION” “So open, bust a move, take a step, say something…” FR: Walking into youngish bar with wife, I directly walk up to a table with 7 20-somethings GNO (all hb 7-8’s, unheard of around here). I get close to the 6′ HB8 there, tell her she’s tall (Yeah, I know), yeah but your cheating, your 3″ lifts, and touch my foot to her’s, rubby style, bust into she’d make a great wonder woman, dark hair and all. She laughs and starts… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

Like the BEING paradigm instead of DOING paradigm. That’s Julien’s latest tack. He’s a pick up artists right?

Yes, but now he has more experience… Sound familiar? Why are they all moving to push “natural game”… they are learning… they will all be pushing DPA within two years…

It may be that one has to get to the backside to understand how they could have started… the emotional resistance and all…

The story of the teen going away to college for four years and then discovering how smart his dad got in the meantime…. solipsism…

SFC Ton
3 years ago

LOL at Thai chi and Jimmy Carter

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Mersonia

^ Most incels would kill themselves before taking above advice.

Most won’t take any advice…

quack, quack…

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“The story of the teen going away to college for four years and then discovering how smart his dad got in the meantime…. solipsism…”

6 ways you see your dad:

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“It may be that one has to get to the backside to understand how they could have started… the emotional resistance and all…”

Do you think you’re at some mystical place that Julien or YaReally isn’t?

SFC Ton
3 years ago

The automation thing is a tricky son of a bitch. I use to be agin em, now…..

Now that I have employees I want to replace them with robot’s mydamnself. Well about 80% of them. I mostly definitely want to replace the waitstaff with ipads and dudes. Or sexbots if that ever becomes a thing.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

EhIntellect…

Spot on!

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

Do you think you’re at some mystical place that Julien or YaReally isn’t?

Indisputably,,, but I’m not done yet…

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“Indisputably,,, but I’m not done yet…”

Tell us about it oh wise one.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

I like how Scray keeps things grounded and insists on practical applications of all the abstract stuff. Sometimes I too just want to see it done and will figure out the rest. But then I remember times when both the theorizing and application were required to understand a topic. One example is when learning integral calculus. To know what it does, how it does it and how it came about is just as important as knowing when and how to use it. Plugging in values to an equation is certainly useful, but no understanding of the deeper concepts of ‘why’… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

“Do you think you’re at some mystical place that Julien or YaReally isn’t?”

I would answer: Absolutely, but I think they are catching up.

SFC Ton
3 years ago

That’s a way more legit video then I was expecting.

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“I would answer: Absolutely, but I think they are catching up.”

Please, enlighten us about this place.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

but I think they are catching up.

Well Julian and the others at RSD for sure are learning… they are maturing and as they do their perspective is changing… they are making the connections… Odd that so many would push back on this elemental concept… and for what purpose? Preserve ego gains and avoid fear of change.

Like I’ve said countless times… Guy says he can spin dross into gold… tell me how?! Not – sure brah… that’s not possible [based on my experience… which is limited]…

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

Been trying… Let he who has ear hear… 😉

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

SFCTon

That’s a way more legit video then I was expecting.

Which is why I posted it… you will note though if you have studied any Tai Chi, the footwork is all there… other styles as well of course…

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“Been trying… Let he who has ear hear…”

lol, you’re fucking killing me. Describe how Julien and YaReally will be different when they get to this “place”… What will we see different in them?

ollieoxenfree1
3 years ago

@thedsagamer, automaton affects some industries, not all. If you agree with my stance on energy production being the driving force of an economy, then it would stand to reason America needs to electrify it’s transportation system and replace it’s fleet of nuclear power plants. Are you suggesting railway stations and nuclear power plants could be built using robots? Wouldn’t infrastructure projects on this scale create a million direct and indirect jobs? Your point on women in the work force neglects the fact these are service sector jobs that were always the preserve of women. It’s men’s jobs in the heavy… Read more »

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I learned to fight and not follow some ancient Asian dance routine

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

SFCTon

I learned to fight and not follow some ancient Asian dance routine

If you think you are arguing with me, you aren’t…

sfer
sfer
3 years ago

@andy

““In a marriage, your wife remembers every fuck-up so you need to be careful.”

They don’t… lol. If they did I’d be fucked.”

I may have tried to turn things around too late

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

How about you do some work?

What will we see different in them?

Maybe go and look at their early stuff – when they started… and compare it to what they are saying today on happiness and self actualization… and form your own conclusion…

You won’t be convinced by me… it’s your life…

http://s63.photobucket.com/user/puapics/media/td_et_al03.jpg.html

comment image

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

“Maybe go and look at their early stuff – when they started… and compare it to what they are saying today on happiness and self actualization… and form your own conclusion…” Oh, I have my own ideas. I’m more interested in understanding yours. Please answer my question. How do you know that you’re in a place that Julien and YaReally haven’t attained yet? I’m assuming your answer is DPA, So please be specific on what exactly is off for them right now. If you can tell that you’re at this place that Julien and YaReally have yet to attain SURELY… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

comment image

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

“But then I remember times when both the theorizing and application were required to understand a topic. One example is when learning integral calculus. To know what it does, how it does it and how it came about is just as important as knowing when and how to use it.” One of the epic failure’s in my life was to have taken a 5 credit Calculus class and besides having no fucking idea what calculus did, how it does it and what it was used for. I only just was a number plugger in-er. And then I got a C… Read more »

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

@Sentient

Come on. Spit it out dude. Is Owen in this place with you? How do you know?

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

The mere fact that Julien did not start with what he is now talking about tells you that he hadn’t attained the mindset he is developing now, which is moving, like I’ve said towards the DPA Triad and the Platinum Rule as the quest moves from sex and ego gratification and validation via women to happiness… Yareally, you can see his single dimension at the archive… burned in.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Is Owen dynamic, passionate and authentic… does he follow the Platinum Rule?

All external evidence points to yes.

sfer
sfer
3 years ago

Ted announces to the group that he is planning on taking out his tattoo removal doctor to a movie and is immediately met with disapproval. Barney mentions the Golden Rule: Although it is known commonly from the Bible as the ethic of reciprocity (“Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you.”), Barney’s take on it is “Love thy neighbor,” which would lead into his Platinum Rule as “Never ever, ever, ever love thy neighbor.”

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

Is Alpha attractive to women? [and men but we can save that for another time – no homo!]

What “is” Alpha?

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

@ dr. zipper “One example is when learning integral calculus. To know what it does, how it does it and how it came about is just as important as knowing when and how to use it.” This strikes close to home. My oldest son is good at math. He’s taking Calculus at the local college as a junior in H.S. I don’t pretend to understand his genotype. He’s half me, yeah…but his mind, intuition, and perceptions are incomprehensible to me. He’s the president of his class. No problems with public speaking and socializing. “Dad, when I speak to the student… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago
Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

comment image

touching on passion…

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

The counter bullshit argument that a differing form of knowledge is ” mystical and/or magical ” is juvenile and feminine. I spent a few painful hours watching some rsd videos yesterday, to get a better understanding of what all of this cup-like worshipping stuff is really all about . More on that at a later time, but for now my take on this…stuff…is the same as it is for everything in life : if it helps you and ” gives value ” ( fucking catchphrases man….), then it should be utilized. But there is more than on method to acquiring… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“That’s Julien’s latest tack.” Then he is finally starting to learn the trade he teaches. “It means avoiding the same old Proper Noun platitudes that get assembled into various arrangements as if they mean anything on their own.” They do not exist on their own, nor does mechanical technique. The tricky part is not producing herds of children playing with dynamite. It does nobody any favors, least of all them. It is trickier to do remotely, as it involves a fair amount of “wax on, wax off” which the student will only understand after the car is already clean and… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

It’ll be interesting to watch the rsd guys try to drag dudes into their ( evidently) evolving mindsets.

Personally I’m not buying any of it. New business model.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

@Ollie The Club of Rome back in the 1970’s predicted massive die offs due to lack of raw materials such as copper, oil, as well as major food shortages. No doubt Jimmy Carter was advised by them. What’s the current price of copper per pound? Are you aware that not only is there a huge Saudi-sized oil field under the Dakotas in the Bakken shale, there is another one under West Texas in a similar shale formation? The Saudi’s announce a cutback in oil production, and I just got back from travel where the price of gasoline was $2.20 /… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

In order to keep the jobs from going oversea we would’ve had to keep finding ever greater reserves of oil. Nope. The wage differential alone moved millions of service sector IT jobs out of the U.S. Manufacturing jobs went to Mexico, not to Canada. Not much wage differential between the U.S. and Canada. Lots of wage differential between the U.S. and Mexico. Over time, that differential will decrease exponentially…more at first, then less as time goes on. This is a New Thing ™ for economists. Regulation has a cost and compliance is the major cost. The cost of compliance gives… Read more »

mersonia
3 years ago

@Blaximus @Rollo

How do you develop mindset?

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@kfg

“What’s your advice for a socially stunted incel? Be DPA? BE DPA DUDE!”

That’s a start.

The incel won’t have any idea what DPA looks like and won’t have any idea how to get from non-DPA to DPA…he needs a picture of DPA and directions to get there.

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

@Sentient Dude… Life has no meaning. Your happiness is not going to look the same any everyone else’s happiness. Actually don’t even use that word. Happy. Happy is BS. Contentment. There’s no way for you to know what one person’s contented state will look like compared to another’s. The fact that you would even think you can predict that tells me that you’re full of shit. “They do not exist on their own, nor does mechanical technique. The tricky part is not producing herds of children playing with dynamite. It does nobody any favors, least of all them. It is… Read more »

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I spent a few painful hours watching some rsd videos yesterday, to get a better understandin….

Thanks Blax for jumping on that grenade.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

EhIntellect We agreed his first date will be a big deal for moving on with life, just get it behind him. I don’t push hard or his confidence slakes in not living up. That’d be counterproductive. I need to deliver as he can understand it, so he can create his own version of effective game, something he’s DPA about. Take him with you to happy hours and stuff… chat up the ladies with him as you have been… take his blinders off… just get him used to chatting and teasing… then chat with him after “notice how that girl did… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Andy

Life has no meaning.

so we come to the root of your matter… [PS – this is just a phase you are going through 😉 ]

SFC Ton
3 years ago

Meaning of life?

https://youtu.be/6PQ6335puOc

Yeah Yeah corny but think about it

If you own a buiness you want to crush the other guy
If you want a promotion at work you have to crush the other guy
If you want a big titty bisexual college chick you have to crush all the other guys who want her

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Ton Now that I have employees I want to replace them with robot’s mydamnself. Well about 80% of them. I mostly definitely want to replace the waitstaff with ipads and dudes. Depends on your customer base. Supposed to be some high end places in SillyCon Valley that have gone with some kind of pad on tables for basic ordering, but a lot of the market there is aspie to some degree. To me, placing an order on a iPad or other pad is a lot like hitting a drivein. If that’s who you are competing with, it will work. On… Read more »

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