The Unbearable Rightness of Being Female

unbearable

The following post quote has been making the rounds in professional circles. It’s from Sallie Krawcheck, CEO of Ellevest, an investment firm dedicated to helping women with financial investment (no jargon, no ‘playing’ stocks for sport, no mansplaining, you got this). She’s also the “chair” of Elevate Network, a global professional women’s network. I’m adding this here to make a later point, but it’s important to understand how normalized it’s become for women to create a sexually exclusionary organization for women who will simultaneously complain about men’s sexism for not accommodating their (presumably successful) business culture to the interests of women. More on that later.

I thought I’d riff on this click-bait for, I assume, professional women because I expect we’ll see more of this prefabricated outrage in the coming years as a response to what will undoubtedly be the suffering of the Trump era in America. I’ll be the first to admit I was surprised by Trump’s win, but the denial of the First Female President® into the White House will be the cause du jour for every jilted woman who believes she’s a “professional”. Even if Clinton had won the mainstream would’ve been inundated with how ‘we still have a long way to go’ stories, however, with Trump in the Presidency the same tired narrative of systemic male sexism will get reinvigorated in the coming years.

From, A Letter to young women, in the age of Trump:

When I was your age, I thought it was over. My mother was a feminist, so I wanted to call myself anything but a feminist. And anyway, I seemed pretty welcome at work. Even though it was Wall Street, my analyst class was about a third women. We weren’t just on our way — we’d arrived.

But then…there were the inappropriate pictures left on my desk. The guy miming a sex act when my back was turned. I wasn’t given the great assignments; the more senior woman I worked with was likewise dismissed as “lightweight” (and, lest you think that might have been true, that woman was Safra Catz, now the co-President of Oracle). Then the women started to fall away in their 30s…more in their 40s. But the worst of it, I thought was over.

And now Trump has made it clear to everyone that the battle for us women is not over.

In femopshere there will always be an ‘us’. As I’ve outline in many prior essays, the Sisterhood will always take precedence above religion, politics, personal conviction and even family affiliations for women. Largely this is due to women’s evolved propensity for collectivism among their own sex. In our hunter gatherer beginnings women had an interdependent need for collective support for keeping tribal cohesion as well as child rearing.

This intrasexual collective support has carried over into what’s become the Sisterhood today. If you look at the interactions of young girls and their social group interdependence you begin to see that nascent tribal collectivism naturally come through. In terms of larger societal scope this collectivity becomes about acknowledging a shared experience of an imagined oppression by men. Between all women there is a gestalt understanding of “the plight of women” and a presumption of an endemic sexism no matter how culturally or socioeconomically dissimilar those women are.

As I mentioned, Trump is now a universal icon of that presumption of sexism and oppression. Granted, it could’ve been any man who displaced a woman in the history books, but the fall back presumption is that whoever ‘he’ is, he becomes emblematic of a ready narrative of sexism irrespective of merit. We presume sexism, we presume a guy would mime a sex act behind a woman’s back and leave ‘inappropriate’ pictures on a woman’s desk despite decades of workplace harassment legislation. We believe it because it sounds right; it sounds like something a typical sexist guy would do.

I can’t stop thinking about this and what we can / should do:

Remember that gender bias in the workplace is not a thing of the past. I’m sorry if I didn’t act when I should have. I thought we had left sexism behind us by the time I was in more senior roles. After all, we had complaint hotlines and diversity plans and requirements for diverse slates of candidates for every job. But now I’m remembering one of the members of the senior leadership team who would kiss younger women on the cheek at the beginning of meetings. Creepy, right? I now wonder what was being said when I wasn’t in that room.

What’s creepy is that in spite of years in a professional field that’s been the domain of men she’s just now remembering this fact. Would it have been less creepy if he’d kissed only his age-appropriate women on his leadership team? Professional women’s default presumption is that it is always sexism that is holding them back from breaking through a mythologized ‘glass ceiling’, but as is women’s solipsism, their first thought is that their problems are caused by externalities. Never is there an insight that they may simply lack the skills or that they don’t perform at their peak in a job they were told should be rewarding to them.

Gender biases will never be a thing of the past because to suggest they ever might be so is to presume a default state of egalitarian equality between the sexes. The gender biases in the workplace are most evident in the peer selection and peer evaluations of women – not some secret group of guys getting together in a private office room to expressly talk about a their co-workers’ tits.

As it stands in today’s modern office men are scared shitless every time they are called to cooperate with a woman on work projects for fear of being accused of sexism or harassment:

“In a lawsuit-happy culture, where claims can be made on a ‘he said/she said’ basis, men are now trying to ensure their actions are always covered by a third party witness”

“The terror of being accused of sexual harassment is now so common it has its own term, ‘backlash stress”

There’s a reason HR departments are largely staffed by women, because they want to be positioned in a way that they can execute policy. HR departments no longer exist to serve the company with regards to employees, rather they exist in order to protect that company from lawsuits and enforce feminine-primary conditions in the workplace.

Ask tough questions, and call the guys out when necessary. I recently asked my best guy friend: “Do guys really talk like Donald Trump and Billy Bush behind closed doors?” His response: “No, but…” And the “but” was that the conversations are more along the lines of: “Boy, she has great legs,” or “she’s a looker” or “Whew. Wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole.” When I asked him how he responded to this, he said he didn’t say anything; after all, he has to work with these folks.

But so do we. And breaking us down to our body parts or our appearance dehumanizes us in some way. Maybe it’s only in some small way. But it’s clear that for some years, we (and by we, I mean I) were likely too complacent about the inevitability of gender progress in the workplace and relaxed perhaps just a bit too much.

It’s funny and irreverent when all the girls in the office get together for drinks or a male revue strip show after work, but it’s dehumanizing when men do the same. I’ve known very few men who would ever comment on a woman’s anatomy in a workplace environment. I have known men who would scold other men for staring a little too long at a female co-worker. I have known women to actively flirt with guys and wear inappropriate outfits to get attention from them. I’ve known women who’ve called me and other men I’ve worked with their “work husbands”.

I’ve worked in the liquor and casino promotion businesses for two decades now. I see some pretty wild behavior on the part of women who are not unlike the poor victimized dears Krawcheck describes going to work on Monday mornings.

The modern workplace culture has conditioned men for fear of women thanks largely to strict codes of conduct, but also because these men have been raised from birth to be dutiful Betas and White Knights who look for every opportunity to correct a ‘typical man’ for his sexist and rude behaviors. They look for these backroom boys clubs where women are rated on their looks so as to expose their heinous misogyny and institutionalized sexism, but they are disappointed when they don’t actually find it. So instead they contribute to an atmosphere of fear in some lame form of Beta Game they hope will be recognized and rewarded for by workplace women.

If you’re in a bad work situation, it’s ok to quit. So many women think that it’s a “failure” if you quit your job; and you know how hard we females take failure. But sometimes it’s not us: it’s them.

I recently left the board of a non-profit that I LOVE. I had been on it for years (and years). At nearly every meeting I asked how much we were spending on our investment managers, in comparison to the return we were getting. Meeting after meeting I was told that the answer was complex, it was hard to calculate, it would take a lot of work – and why did it matter anyway? It was really the net returns that matter, regardless of how much we paid for them. And then, last spring, before I could bring up the topic, one of the men did; and all the other guys eagerly agreed with him, that we need to keep an eye on fees because those are really all we can control.

I quit the next week.

Life is too short, and I can have a lot more impact with the week-a-year I get back instead of being ignored in meetings.

I know not everyone is in the position to quit; I wasn’t earlier in my career. So the onus is also on those of us who are more senior to be more supportive of women who leave these situations. I am hopeful that an outcome of this election will be greater understanding of this.

If it had been a woman who’d made the same suggestion would we be hearing about this? Shit like this happens all the time in the workplace. One reason The 48 Laws of Power resonated with men so well is because it was relatable to exactly this kind of situation. Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit for it yourself. Sallie sees this as sexism because it happened to be a guy who pulled it on her, but would she have quit the non-profit had it been a woman who outplayed her?

This is the reality of even the most seemingly benign of companies. They are defined by the interplay of power dynamics, but when women are bested in it the sexism narrative is ready on standby to comfort and explain their failure. So it becomes OK to quit, because the environment is always sexist. The business environment is one defined by competition and this grates on women’s expectation of it to be cooperative and collective. Women like Sallie expect recognition for merit, but wish for things to be easier rather than developing the skills to play the game better.

Get yourself a senior, successful – preferably female – mentor, who can help you navigate the politics of your company. This includes the gender politics. Can’t find one on your own? Speak to HR about helping you find one; this is their job, after all.

Your company doesn’t have a senior, successful female? Get the hell out of there.

Really the only sexism I’m seeing in this piece has been one coming from and endorsed by Krawcheck. She bemoans a lack of gender equity and then suggests a female mentor would be preferable to a male one. Her sexism is blatant here – the only definition of a solid reputable company is one that ensures it has a senior, successful female in it. Since most HR departments are staffed primarily with women it’s their job to help you find a senior, successful and female mentor? I’m not a business insider, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t their job.

I made this point in Male Space, but what happens when women insert themselves into a traditionally male dominated domain is that the enterprise becomes about accommodating the female influences rather than the enterprise itself. This entire article is an indictment of this. Again, the solution to a woman’s problem of not being successful is sought externally.

Do your best to make sure that your success is quantified. Be it a sales goal, a client satisfaction rating, an output metric, a quality target. Numbers count here because they’re black-and-white, cut-and-dried. Were you successful or not? I recommend this even if you work in a “normal” company, because implicit gender biases and expectations still exist for all of us.

Solid enough advice, but it’s couched in the context of an expectation of gender biases (at least the type of bias Sallie finds unacceptable). There’re implicit gender biases, but the ones we see dominate even ‘normal’ companies are ones that favor a feminized workforce.

Think about starting your own thing. This is what’s exciting; we have the ability to start our own businesses today, in a way we didn’t in the past. Why not take our marbles to our own playgrounds and build great businesses and cultures? Our mothers couldn’t do this because the cost was so high – but the costs of everything-about-starting-a-business, including technology, people (i.e., freelancers), real estate (co-working spaces) and support services are coming down. And then no one can relegate you to the less-interesting jobs.

Women are taught that they deserve the luxury of interesting jobs. In fact this is the sole reason for even wanting to enter the workforce most times – a rewarding career that’s fulfilling, but as I wrote in She’s Unhaaapy… that fulfillment is always elusive. Therefore it must be that uncooperative men are holding women back from this happiness.

I’m not sure opening another gourmet cupcake eatery counts as contributing to the status of women in business, but I would say that women ought to be encouraged to start up their own businesses rather than rely on the proven successes of established ones to prove their business acumen. Carly Fiorina and Sheryl Sandberg are not innovators in any sense. Neither started a company from scratch, but they are lauded as powerful businesswomen because they supposedly had the moxie to compete with the big boys and their sexist enterprises – not actually as a result of their companies wanting to present a feminine-correct public image.

I would love to see women’s organic business successes despite themselves, but my guess is that every failure or setback would have some tinge of external sexism attached to them. The truth is there are very few women who actually create something of worth because the easier path to success is to create a social convention that shames men for not including women in their own successes. It will always be easier for women to appropriate the success of men rather than create anything for themselves.

I am going to go out of my way to support other women. It’s clear now: we can’t do this alone. Another woman who is promoted or celebrated or funded clears the way for another. I am actively looking to buy from women-owned businesses, which is much easier these days — Glossier, Outdoor Voices, and Project September are just a few of a new wave of startups led by women — and avoid companies that remain all-men. I’m just so over supporting them.

And here we have yet more fem-centric sexism in a piece decrying male sexism. Weren’t we just reading about how surprised Sallie was about gender bias not being a thing of the past in the workplace? Because Trump won the election she calls for a boycott from buying anything from male owned companies?

One thing I’ve always found ironic about women’s call for collective, gender-exclusionary support for other women is that women are often guilty of even worse infighting than men are in the workplace. Lets face it, women hate other women to a degree that most men are unaware of. Their capacity for sub-communication and psychological warfare among themselves makes intra-sexual competition more brutal than having to deal with any so-called sexist male co-worker. From women’s collectivist perspective one would think that women’s intra-sexual support of other women would make them all outstanding successes in business, but we find the opposite is true. Women have a very hard time making an all-female enterprise a success. Naturally this is blamed, again, on men’s sexists brinksmanship and outmaneuvering them, but by and large it’s internal conflict that destroys all-female run enterprises.

Invest. Having spent my career on Wall Street and now being the founder of Ellevest, a digital investment platform for women, I know I’m a broken record on this topic. But men invest to a greater extent than women do, and it costs us. Indeed, I believe investing is the best career advice women aren’t getting. Think about it – are you more able to tell your boss to take this job and shove it if you have more money or less money?

That’s what I thought. At the end of the day, money is the real key to gender equality.

Of course we get the sales pitch at the end. Women don’t invest because it’s not sexy. It requires a degree of commitment and a depth of insight that goes well beyond what an average woman has any interest in. I do find it entertaining that Sallie finally gets to the real reason for a gender inequality she claims she wants to see abolished. Money is most definitely a key to establishing social dominance and that creates a fundamentally unequal condition between men and women.

Businesses, successful ones, are founded on competition, not cooperation. This is the fundamental conflict we are experiencing in today’s corporate culture; women’s collectivism promotes what they believe should be a successful enterprise based on egalitarian cooperation while men largely see the enterprise as competition. Sometimes this is a win-at-any-cost type of competition, other times it may be more subtle, but the crux is that women’s propensity to want for a more collectivist approach to a successful enterprise is at odds with men’s competitive approach. Success in business is fundamentally unegalitarian, there are winners and losers, not co-equal participation trophy winners. But as women continue to insert themselves into the unegalitarian male spaces of enterprise we will see this push for cooperative hopes for business success fundamentally alter the purpose of these businesses as we attempt more and more to accommodate them.

1,073 comments

  1. Once the 6’s & 7’s see you with a string of 8’s you wonto have to game the 6&7’s anymore.

    They do things like awkwardly slip you their phone number is some bullshit James Bond secret handshake deal while your 8 is hang off you and your toddler is in your arm

  2. An older woman I know (age about 60) is extremely successful in her job – won lots of awards, etc. She is a classic feminist, always going on about glass ceilings and salary equality and the like. I think she probably fought tooth and nail to get to where she is today.

    However, she is the most uninspiring wife I know: she knows absolutely nothing about how to relate to men, she’s extremely unfeminine, and she constantly shoots down anyone with contrasting views in any conversation. I feel so sorry for her husband, who was made redundant and is now cooking meals for his wife who arrives home late and stressed every day after work. He is completely taken for granted and treated like a child. Being around this woman and her husband is almost painful – and he just takes the abuse because that’s what he’s learnt to do.

    I can’t help feeling that every woman makes a choice about whether to invest in work or to invest in femininity/relationship with a man. It’s an unconscious choice for most, based on what everyone else is doing. I’ve chosen to put my marriage ahead of everything else and it goes against all my friends and family’s expectations! Husband is happy though.

    “what happens when women insert themselves into a traditionally male dominated domain is that the enterprise becomes about accommodating the female influences rather than the enterprise itself” – I’m aware that this website is also a ‘male dominated domain’ and so I’m only posting a comment as a purely intellectual addition to the conversation. Take it or leave it, I don’t need to be ‘accommodated’!

  3. Technically every marriage is diversity + proximity. It’s diversity of capability, made into a union so that the whole is better than the sum of the parts.

    It’s diversity of values that causes problems. Diversity of capabilities is never an issue so long as everyone holds the same ruleset in their head.

  4. @SJF

    No question about it. The highest level of testosterone in a HT woman is still an order of magnitude lower than even the average level in the male.

  5. @Rollo, For shits and giggles, I think I’ll go to a Starbucks coffee and when they ask for the name to put on the cup, I’m going to say, “Rollo.” See how many other dudes look up when they hear that name and look around. I’ll know who’s red pill. Lol!

  6. The intent of the original post in my opinion is not that women might be inferior in the workplace or that some women on the far end of the female bell curve might be very successful at rising (with masculine traits) to their level of incompetence. (One has to be aware of the fallacy of false analogies in a debate–cats are not dogs even if you have a doglike cat). And it’s not about her getting ahead with her looks, ( so what? that counts to in a men’s hiring world. I got accepted to a program once that would accept 6 candidates out out of 350 applicants and they routinely picked five of them as smart, attractive (HB 7+) females. I didn’t whine about it, esp because I got in and would rather work alongside an attractive female if she was competent. They were).

    Nor is this about how men will treat women in a business space. It is more about the female penchant for collectivizing their alleged plight. It’s about female sexists–the Sallie Krawchecks and the Sheryl Sandbergs–that now have a platform and a tall soapbox to publish what Rollo is dissecting in the original post. And “the solution to a woman’s problem of not being successful is sought externally”.

    And it’s not about Sally the lithe, attractive southern girl who was able to compete with her cognitive skills. It’s about her social collective behavior after the fact, and the platform she has to advance the agenda of the Feminine Imperative and Hivemind social conventions.

  7. Thanks Wala. This is pretty much what I’m doing now – or in the process of anyway. The MILFs are great for practice and generally for sexual confidence and reference experiences. I build the skillset with them and import to other girls (3 of my 4 lays in November were MILFs..and the 4th was 18 and probably had more sexual experience than the MILFs, so you never know).

    I don’t have as much experience with the hotties as you do, but from what I’ve seen, at least with online stuff, the big difficulty isn’t seducing the hotter girls, it’s just harder to actually meet up without them flaking.

    One of the big reasons (among others) I’ve mostly shifted my focus to cold approach (all the online lays came when I was travelling or in my Small Town – the logistics are also easier when I have a hotel room).

    @Sentient – thank you. It totally didn’t occur to me to do the “write your number on the receipt” thing (it wasn’t logistically possible when the 8 was serving me at the counter, but I could absolutely have done it when she came up with my drink..zero to lose and really a pretty good chance of success if I’d pitched it with the right subcomms). Won’t forget next time.

    Also noted re the 6/7 – I did know that if I wanted to move things forward I would have to isolate one of the two girls and escalate (easy with the attraction I had with the 6, bit harder with the 7 because needed more attraction first) but with the wing confusion I never did. Most of my sarging is solo anyway, but with these wings we’ll be much clearer in our communication next time.

  8. Culum

    Usually when you go to pay they usually say something like “get everything you wanted” or “did you want anything else” etc. just drop it right there… especially when they are being flirty.

    on this here “easy with the attraction I had with the 6, bit harder with the 7 because needed more attraction first” just remember that not everything is attraction at first… look at the dynamics and other motivations as well… she might have left with you just to get the guy to try and chase or to piss off her friend or because she took an ego hit and wanted validation…

    Just something to keep in mind, try moving forward anyway and then see if you can boost attraction when you isolate…

    Momentum is always good either way…

  9. This is a great piece. I’m grateful for it.

    I think the incessant complaints from women about sexism at work will never end.

    Worked in channel marketing role for two years on a team dominated by women and gay men. A real eye-opener regarding feminism and sexism in the workplace to say the least.

    Was taken aback by the level of abject cruel, back-handed comments, exclusionary behavior and pettiness among these adult women on the team. Even the gay men in our group were “WTF is all this, man?” At company functions these same “professional” women would publicly denigrate their boyfriends and husbands as “useless”, “pathetic” or “not getting any because…” plus “men are overgrown children”, etc. They were not drunk when saying this shit.
    Needless to say, I made plenty of work-related excuses to either bow out entirely, or leave such company dinners early.

    However, it is possible that attitudes about overt feminism and white-knighting at work might be changing, however slowly and subtly.

    For example, once, at the conclusion of an annual national sales meeting last year, a senior VP (male) thanked the global marketing team VP (female) for all her work on the preparations and execution of the meeting. She really did do a fine job with everything, and the meeting was a great success.

    But then in front of a large amphitheater with hundreds of sales people, most of them far younger than me, the senior VP (male) issued the remark “And by the way……if you want to get something done, then hire a woman!!!”.
    The mainly male crowd chuckled at first, and then started to collectively groan loudly, as though it were one very bad sexist joke. Women in the audience were visibly displeased with this response. Seemed like senior VP (male) misjudged the audience. Not a good scene at all.

    Read the comments of her LinkedIn post above. A lot of the same groans from professionals.

  10. @Rollo: It’s incredibly amusing hearing females like Krawcheck trot out the charge of dehumanization yet happily refer to Human Resources — what was once named Personnel Department. The ease of project managers requesting “resources” for a task, rather than people, ought to strike Krawcheck to the core.

    Excellent work on your part.

  11. Not this last election cycle, but the previous one just for local/state I had an interesting power struggle between my wife and I play out.

    The neighborhood Mrs. Kravitz is politically active and when someone she knows is running, you’ll see the candidate signs in their front yard. So of course one day after work I drive up and see a candidate’s sign in my yard. I say nothing; pull the sign out and put it in the back yard for target practice.

    Later that day Mrs. Zipper wonders where the sign is and I say, “Out back. I need a new target.” She’s outraged and ‘demands’ that she has a right to blah blah blah. I ask her how she came to endorse this candidate and find out that Mrs. Kravitz said he was nice. Mrs. Zipper also stated — beaming with her due diligence skills — that she visited the candidate’s website and got a ‘good feeling’ from his picture. I roll my eyes and guess to myself that she will take the sign and defiantly re-plant it in the front yard. It does happen later when I’m at work the next day.

    So after I get home the next day, I pull out the sign and put it again out back. I know what’s about to happen so I have a plan. I visit the candidate’s website, read through some of his ideas, beliefs, policies, etc. When the wife notices the missing sign and starts again with the ‘You have no right’ crap I lay it out for her: “Voting is a serious thing given to us by the sacrifices of many, not to be wasted by casting it to the most superficially pleasing candidate. If you can name *one* thing the candidate supports or any projects or any ideas then I’ll leave the sign up.” We all know how this ends.

    The sign’s best use was to improve my aim. The candidate’s best use was to inadvertently provide a context to show that limits, boundaries and no-nonsense will be enforced.

  12. ” . . . happily refer to Human Resources — what was once named Personnel Department.”

    Hey, at least a human resource is an object. Perhaps even an individual object.

    There used to be something called a “customer,” which was people, perhaps even individual people. Now there are “consumers,” an entirely abstracted demographic group of resource destroyers. And even the concept of “consumption” has been so abstracted that we refer to people as consumers when nothing at all is consumed.

  13. @olllioxenfree; you must have some high-T levels yourself, to come onto a blog titled “The unbearable rightness of being female” and then proceed to act according to the blog title.

  14. @sjb 12:23 p.m.

    I’m not sure there is any more obscene, dehumanizing phrase coined in the 20th century than “human resources.”

    That phrase sure attracts a lot of malevolent misanthropic garbage – like the Pied Piper for hate-filled female narcissists.

  15. @rugby – I used to click your links but I didn’t always understand what they meant so I stopped. Assuming you’re not a troll or spammer, a bit more context might help some of us get your message.

  16. Got it will add context. Just found out a busy of mine died of an overdose and a dear firmed of mine passed away in oregan. I’m uploaded links because I’m nervous and it’s been hard on me. Doing the link posting is a way for me to connect without complaining. Will add context especially to darlock and the casual sex project. Bear with me.

  17. Indeed, over the long term if welfare, gender and race quotas, and other protections for ‘oppressed classes lol’ were eliminated then only the strong and intelligent would be able to afford to reproduce, having a eugenic effect on the population in question.

    Yes, this is very true. Its the only way to have African, Arab, or Meso-American populations and not have race war or civilizational collapse. If you are going to have a multi-racial society, especially with low IQ populations, then you need to have a libertarian societal arrangement. The more libertarian of the alt-right movement are calling it “right wing libertarianism” or “libertarian nationalism”. Either one works fine.

    I am not a pro-Hitler white nationalist but a multi-racial society in the context of welfare-state liberalism is doomed. We will get race war. I’m thinking of the Ukrainians and the Russians. Two Slavic people that to Western eyes don’t look or sound that different. Yet they can’t get along. How the hell is America to survive given the bio-diversity we have? Not in this climate.

    Part of me hopes for America to break apart and a white ethno-states to emerge as I fear for whites as they become a minority. As much as I would love to live in a libertarian society, I’m white and I know that without Europeans there will be no liberty oriented society. Well, North Asians might create technologically advanced societies but they won’t be open to whites because Asians are not race blind like Sribbleberg-airhead.

    As I keep saying, you can not have sex-realism without race-realism. Both are grounded in socio-biology. As CH says, there are innate differences between the sexes and races. There is one true god, the god of bio-mechanics…

  18. rugby11, condolences on the recent deaths in your social circle. It is perfectly understandable now that you are posting links, as a thing to do.

    Stuff you should be doing:
    Whatever your normal exercise regime, keep up with it, do not let thoughts deter you from it. Do any lifts with care, concentrate all your attention on what you are exactly doing in that moment. When you go walk, walk like you have somewhere to get to and pump up your awareness of what is around you, don’t go around all wrapped up in your thoughts.

    If you aren’t taking Vit. D start now. Watch your diet, it’s really easy in an emotional state to start slamming carbs or worse yet a ton of sugar. Ditto booze & etc. that’s self-medication, keep it in bounds. Get plenty of sunlight wherever you are.

    Whatever music you find puts you into a better state of mind, keep it around you. Stay away from anything emo / sad / etc. if you need to, change to some other music.

    If people you know are really wallowling in grief, you may want to distance yourself from them a bit so you don’t get pulled into their frame / state of mind. That includes social media, email, even tweets & texts.

    Take care of yourself first before trying to help anyone else.

  19. @culum

    This was the 4th or 5th online lay just in November

    so get 4 or 5 in December that AREN’T online

    I’ve always enjoyed dirty talk and I am getting filthier and filthier especially with the last two MILFs…calling them my slut and my whore, sticking fingers up asses..the works, even with what sounds really nasty degrading stuff (I was free-associating and was pretty turned on myself, but at one point I was saying something along the lines of how she was just a hole I was using to get myself off or something and she was just getting wetter and wetter and moaning) . The results have been great – they LOVE it. As long as you ramp up slowly and calibrate to their reactions (this one actually told me she enjoyed hair pulling but I wasn’t quite sure how to do it – maybe try next time).

    lol. I’m legit concern about when I actually bang a girl, becuause the shit you describe is like….suuuper tame to me.

    Oh and also when I kicked this MILF

    you monster

    I had the HB8 early 20s brunette at the burger joint counter flirting with me.

    and imagine if you had the milf fawning over you through all this and competing for your attention…

  20. Great article Rollo. I’ve been reading this blog for a few years and have yet to comment. I felt compelled to comment on this article because I think the manosphere should start making the connection between “feminism” and “the new world order”. For those that don’t know about the new world order, its all about consolidating and expanding the economic and political power of a few ridiculously wealthy elites over the masses (us). Women’s propensity for “collectivism” instead of competition (men) is an extremely useful tool in this respect. Think about Brexit. For those that were in favor of staying in the European Union, they believed it was better to be ruled by an appointed EU president than to be directly governed by democratically elected officials in their own country. Power can easily take advantage of this “collectivism” attitude.

  21. @Urocyon

    Thanks for making your first comment. What I find a lot of people doing in the manosphere these days is lamenting how humans were evolutionarily designed to act. Human’s act on impulses and they develop fiction narratives to buffer the fact that they are mortal and have mortal natures including the fact that they have the capacity to die at any moment. No different then the fact that self evident in the PUA community, that you have to put yourself above being shot down by a women at any point. Similar to Rollo’s essay Buffers in which rejection is better than regret as an overarching theme.

    The new word order is a compulsion for humans. It is a feature of the firmware. Globalization is a giant mother-f***ing buffer to the alternative of failure to thrive for humans. Globalization is a method of protecting the downside, but limiting any one individual’s upside.

    Sure it is lamentable. Sure it sucks. Sure the Feminine Imperative has taken over as the Matrix.

    It was bound to happen. Read Yuval Harari’s book Sapiens in order to accept this as a fact of how humans operate when the tribe becomes big.(or perhaps if time is limited Google search his thematic ideas from the book) When your tribe becomes big, that shit happens–Globalism. And that plays into the hand of Feminism. It is a natural progression. That natural progression accelerates the Feminine Imperative and implodes the Masculine Imperative.

    http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html

    What that mean’s on a practical scale is to scale down, have a bottoms up approach, circle the wagons around your tribe. Humans were always more happy on a small tribal basis than a large global basis. On a large global basis, you are and ant that can suffer and no one will care. On a smaller tribal basis of 75 individuals, there is the capacity to actually have kinship altruism and in-group altruism and out-group malice (defending the perimeter). So globalism and feminism should be shrugged off.

    This is the reason why Old Married Guys defend Patriarchy, kinship altruism and rail against nihilism and to each man his own mentality. They build their castle, they take care of their tribe and follow the path that sapiens actually were built to thrive with: Anti-globalism. Globalizing for humans is achieving their level of incompetence for the individual. The manosphere was invented to garner individual power for an individual man to thwart globalist power and a Gynocentric Worldview. The task is to develop your individual power to have agency over your individual circumstances and control the outcome of your life.

    Good Luck through Mastery via Red Pill Awareness and Game.

  22. @SJF

    Thanks for the comments, I’ll have to check out the book.

    I still think that feminism has been used to further a globalist agenda for decades.
    Similarly, I think its highly unlikely that the LGBT movement organically sprouted up out of nowhere. We are being bombarded with LJBT in tv shows, movies, MSM. I just saw a job announcement that included LGBT in with affirmative action. Sexual preference and gender identity is now being considered in employment decisions.

    All we can do is take care of ourselves.

  23. Given the crime statistics we already have a a low intensity race war going on.

    Not to mention the low intensity jhaid.

    The media does an excellent job of glossing over the problems.

  24. I am getting filthier and filthier

    LOL even the good girls eat that shit up but be careful they don’t catch feelings for you

    It’s all about the intensity of the experience. You take them on an emotional roller coaster ride when you are flirting with them; take them on a second roller coaster ride when you fuck them.

    Best way to get repeat buiness right there

  25. ” I just saw a job announcement that included LGBT in with affirmative action. Sexual preference and gender identity is now being considered in employment decisions.”

    That became a foregone conclusion in the military (for promotion and command positions) the minute they repealed DADT.

  26. @Rollo, OT but relevant nonetheless

    Got a gift card and am about to do an Amazon book blitz. I have your Rational Male book but I bought it over a year ago (can’t remember exactly how long) and the text was seriously too small for me to read comfortably, so I didn’t read more than the first chapter. I believe you mentioned that the text size would be addressed, but I’m not 100% sure on that. Could you let me know? I’m about to buy Preventative Medicine, but if RM has been altered, I’ll add that too.

  27. @newlyaloof, my main focus in life right now is completing book 3, but yes, a new edition of TRM is in the works. Nothing contextual will change, but I’ve got a copy editor hired for January and I’ll be revising the layout to be a better read, larger type, layout, etc.

  28. @Zoe Bowman,

    “She is a classic feminist, always going on about glass ceilings and salary equality and the like. I think she probably fought tooth and nail to get to where she is today.”

    Nope. No she didn’t. More than likely she just showed up and did what was expected, enjoying a total lack of fellow female competition. 60 is easily young enough to ride in on the affirmative action zeitgeist. She didn’t ‘fight tooth and nail’ anymore than any of the men in her position, at best. The fact that she rails on about the glass ceiling is a very strong indicator that her success is not merit based anyway. She wouldn’t be pumping up faux sexism unless it was something that benefitted her career. The fact that she ‘succeeded’ and then went to the mat over sexism is a dead giveaway. This is the Sandberg model. Gifted a cool billion by age 40 and then go to the mat over how unfair things are for women. Michelle Obama…gifted one of the most coveted positions in history, turn around and bitch about how unfair it all was for her. Women who truly merit their position (rare) loathe that kind of whining. This is a perfect example of why I’m losing interest in the culture war. The demographics who are winning in identity politics are just re-investing their winnings in their grievance fantasies, like this cunt you mentioned. Why not though? It certainly worked the first time.

    She fought tooth and nail, though. Okay. That just means she did her freaking job like every man ever. She fought nothing. The white knighting and trad-con chivalry would far outpace any misogynistic grumblers (if there were any at all). I know you’re trying to be cool here but the narrative still leaks through in your viewpoint.

  29. For TRM or Preventive Medicine? The revise of book one will necessitate its page count going up, but the material wont change. Even I have trouble with reading the copy without my glasses so I’ll bump it up 2 points.

  30. @theasdgamer

    “IQ is another discrepancy. Whites test higher than blacks, ceteris paribus. Notice that I am discussing AMERICAN blacks. Blacks from Africa tend to perform much higher than American blacks in academics and perhaps on IQ tests. So, I can’t assume that this is a racial thing, but may be due to some factors in the American context.”

    African blacks scoring higher on IQ tests than American blacks is very misleading because the black Africans that attend Western Universities immigrate only from the wealthiest and most elite families. The average IQ of a Sub Saharan African is 65, that is twenty points lower than the 85 average IQ for American blacks. American blacks benefit from an admixture of 20% European DNA on average, as well as the white infrastructure in place.

    “Whites excel at law and business and other social stuff. Likely some of whites’ social and business superiority is because of white skin and its status.”

    Whites excel in these fields because they require a high IQ (a minimum of 120) to be successful.

  31. @YaReally and PUA crew

    I got tooled for the first time in a while. Some dude did the classic “what’s that on your shirt?” trick:

    http://giphy.com/gifs/edbassmastershow-cmt-the-ed-bassmaster-show-xT4uQmGO5Sehm9ymDS

    I wasn’t particularly flustered. just surprised and reactive.

    He asked if I was gay and when I said I was heterosexual, he said he did not know what that was ( probably a language issue? – he was a hispanic dude)

    I am pretty sure it is a boundary issue because I let him muscle into and ruin an interesting conversation earlier with some other dude.

    the tooling happened later when I was talking with a woman that I was sort of on the fence with.

    Is there a way to shut this type of thing down? I think that I am probably too open to this sort of thing because I tend to be reactive rather than proactive.

    I was pretty talkative and unstifled though. Maybe moving up on peoples radars? The night went pretty good all told.

  32. @ sfer

    ” I am pretty sure it is a boundary issue because I let him muscle into and ruin an interesting conversation earlier with some other dude.”

    What is ” a boundary issue ” ??

  33. @Blaximus I let him get away with stuff earlier that lead him to believe he could get away with what he did later.

  34. @Blaximus “Thank you for the edification. You may cut it out now. Thanks.”

    There are other places for that and they are (not surprisingly) horrible.

  35. From blog post: “Even though it was Wall Street, my analyst class was about a third women. We weren’t just on our way — we’d arrived.”

    Apparently, women actually enjoy the erstwhile maligned, sexually-charged FI-fueled dominance too. From The Atlantic:

    “The authors also note a 2011 survey of 302 male college students. It found that 51.2 percent reported “at least one sexual victimization experience since age 16.”

    “About half of the victims reported a female perpetrator.”

    I’d imagine there’s wink-wink character to some of the female-on-male sexual abuse. The number of over 18 female on juvenile male (legally non-consensual, however defined) sex is probably underreported. IDK, Just my gut.

    As well, “a 2014 study of 284 men and boys in college and high school found that 43 percent reported being sexually coerced, with the majority of coercive incidents resulting in unwanted sexual intercourse. Of them, 95 percent reported only female perpetrators.”

    “The authors defined sexual coercion broadly, including verbal pressure such as nagging and begging, which, the authors acknowledge, increases prevalence dramatically.”

    I don’t read much of women nagging for sex much, or that being a problem (nagging, yes/sex, no), but I haven’t been everywhere.

    The rub:

    “…they were sensitive to the possibility that “a focus on female perpetration might be skeptically viewed as an attempt to upend a women’s rights agenda focused on male-perpetrated sexual victimization.” As they see it, “attention to female perpetration is consistent with feminist approaches that take into account power relations, intersectional analyses, and the imperative to question gender-based stereotypes.”

    Well, yeah.

  36. @ sfer

    ” @Blaximus I let him get away with stuff earlier that lead him to believe he could get away with what he did later”

    Okay got it.

    Ime, sometimes strangers ( men especially ) will test you just like a chick might shit test. Lots of guys recommend being nice and amiable and funny and smiling and non-threatening and blah, blah, blah. I recommend testing back.

    If you are up to it that is. If you’d rather not, it’s not a problem until it is.

    I don’t have physical boundaries with dudes depending on how they come at me. Some cats are just looking to make friends or get in on the conversation. I’m all good with that. But if a guy comes in like an asshole, stop him dead in his tracks. Sometimes this can be done without uttering a single word ( subcomms ). Sometime a little instruction will suffice, ie: Hey man, back-the-fuck-up….

    Some dudes aren’t trying to start anything, but some are. Imo it’s better to be clear. If a guy apologizes and says there’s a misunderstanding, ALWAYS except the apology and de-escalate.

    I guess pua’s call it ” amoging ” or whatever…yeah-No. Not having it.

    Guys should exhibit a base level of respect towards other men. Many do, and the few that do not should be checked, in order to maintain balance in the Universe.

    Just my opinion.

  37. @Blaximus

    Thanks for the advice. I usually just try to be friendly but calling people out when they need to be called out is a good idea. I will probably see the dude again.

  38. @rugby11

    “Context Cuba news
    http://app.getresponse.com/click.html?x=a62b&lc=pCczt&mc=Ci&s=i3or2A&u=BwrQt&y=Y&”

    It is a blog post by pornhub. Why do you use redirectors and shorteners?

    the real link:

    http://www.pornhub.com/insights/searching-cuba

    tells me that it is hosted on “pornhub”, it has to do with “insights” which is apparently a section on pornhub’s site and the topic is searches related to cuba.

    Why do you want to throw that away?

  39. At this point an unprofessional shrill would reference the video of Tyler and Julien trying to get each other to react (whoever reacts loses), but sadly those days are gone

  40. @Blax – yep, I’ve found that there are indeed some men that test other men just to see what they can get away with. Once you demonstrate that you’re not going to be a pushover, they will warm right up and be cool. At the very least he will still be a dick, just not to you.

    I remember a couple of times being tooled in my early 20s and not liking it at all. These moments were seminal (hehe) in my self-improvement journey.

    One book that I’ve seen mentioned here before is “When I Say No I Feel Guilty.” For me, this book was a life changer; I read it in the early ’90s. It breaks down interpersonal dynamics within a frame of how people try to manipulate each other to get what they want. Recognizing when you are being manipulated goes a long way towards making it less effective. Highly recommended.

  41. @ dr zipper

    ” @Blax – yep, I’ve found that there are indeed some men that test other men just to see what they can get away with. Once you demonstrate that you’re not going to be a pushover, they will warm right up and be cool. At the very least he will still be a dick, just not to you.”

    Yes, this has been my overall experience also. I never take it as insulting, it’s normally just a test. Some dudes get off on that sort of thing. They just need to understand to go and get off on it somewhere else.

  42. @Blaximus

    Hey what if i wanna fuck his girlfriend and all I have to do to make her abandon him is slap him in the face and run away laughing?

  43. Being tested by either man or woman is really about the same thing: what kind of man are you? Do I respect you? Do I fuck you? Can I use you?

    None of these things are openly asked; they are inferred from your presentation and interactions — at least initially. That’s nothing new to the folks here, but I’m trying to find a theme or some kind of bridge to bring together the notions of handling women and handling people in general. There are differences, of course, but many more similarities than not.

    Many of the fellas here seem young and of the same ‘wtf is going on here’ mindset I once had about life. Not trying to re-ignite anything, but I think that’s what some of the OMGs were getting at a few posts ago when they were advocating ‘just be a man’ as an important factor to consider when dealing with women. Personal development has many facets and many are interrelated and need to feed off each other to improve.

    Ever try walking up a ladder with one leg? Using both legs together is much more effective at getting your whole self up.

  44. @sfer

    DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT CERTIFIED PUA RSD ADVICE. HANDLE WITH CARE.

    If I got tooled like that, Id probably just laugh and high five him (it is kinda ridiculous to get tooled like that). Also I dont know if was some rascal or some valuetaking cockblock.

    If a guy is groping you or physically trying to establish dominance, tell him youre not that guy and to buy you a drink first if he wants to escalate like that. He should start qualifying and reacting to you.

    The are you gay was most likely a shit test (which you may get from women too) and youre best off embracing it a going with the joke.

    And if you felt good, it probably showed in your subcomms and you were perceived as a threat.

  45. YaReally Sentient HABD Wala Scray Hank Forge PUA

    Mini FR guys.

    Was eating dinner alone in a nice family-vibe Italian place (travelling).

    Waitress (HB7 brunette) who took my order at the counter was friendly and made solid EC. Later (while cleaning near me) asked if I liked the food and I made some joke and she smiled. Separately another HB6 blonde waitress brought me my cutlery and drink and I said nothing except for “thank you” with SOLID EC.

    Finished eating, went up to pay at the counter, chatting and joking to HB7 while the card machine is processing. She said something about her wifi being slow and I joked around about always being worried my card will be declined..she laughed (all solid EC), then interestingly the HB6 *walked up from the other side of the counter* and joined our conversation and made some comment and joke – I was really surprised to notice it – but that’s kind of the *definition* of the girl wanting to join the party I had created with the HB7. Then I told them some funny story about stealing wifi from my neighbours when I was in college or something and had them both laughing (entirely fabricated story by the way – I pretty much made it up on the spot when she said “wifi” – I don’t know where the inspiration came from).

    After a couple minutes I was just leaving and the HB7 was like “So, do you come here [the restaurant] often..” and I had to explain I was out of town etc..then I left in a good mood after saying bye to both of them.

    Good experience. As Sentient was saying a few weeks ago I’m slowly starting to integrate this more and more into daily life, not just Going Out Time (just before that, same day, I was at a networking reception in a big office, and I was joking with the cute cloakroom girl about whether she’d make me wait till the end of the night like a nightclub if I lost my ticket and stuff).

  46. @ dr zipper

    ” None of these things are openly asked; they are inferred from your presentation and interactions — at least initially. That’s nothing new to the folks here, but I’m trying to find a theme or some kind of bridge to bring together the notions of handling women and handling people in general. There are differences, of course, but many more similarities than not.”

    The most important thing for men to remember is to act from a strong frame. Men and women ( especially women ) react positively to this. there will always be exceptions, but generally this is the way to go. I mean, you can present yourself as a follower, or as someone that has a modicum of strength and self determination. Sometimes when I meet people for the first time, I get a kind of submissive read. It’s cool as hell to get that from a women, it’s uncomfortable to get that from a man.

    The common thread will be to be self confident and self assured. Relaxed. Women will ping off of this differently than men do, but both will see it as a positive.

    The exception however, is men that are easily threatened. Thankfully they are not in the majority.

    ” Many of the fellas here seem young and of the same ‘wtf is going on here’ mindset I once had about life. Not trying to re-ignite anything, but I think that’s what some of the OMGs were getting at a few posts ago when they were advocating ‘just be a man’ as an important factor to consider when dealing with women. Personal development has many facets and many are interrelated and need to feed off each other to improve.”

    I have resisted using the specific term ” Just Be A Man ” because it’s been hijacked by the FI and now carries a much different connotation. I learned this the hard way.

    What you will find is that many young men now reject traditional manhood as old fashioned, outdated, irrelevant and not executable in the current times. Of course I disagree – especially wrt trying to engage women, but also for a man’s sense of self, peace of mind, and knowledge of his place in the world.

    One can be a gentleman without becoming a gentle man. Nuance is being lost. Definitions are being rewritten to reincarnate masculinity as appalling, and this is evident in the condition of men not even understanding what masculine is, or what the purpose of it could mean.

  47. @sfer

    I’m reactive, too, but I’m learning to calibrate men at the bar.

    He asked if I was gay

    “Nah, man, I don’t want a date, but cool if you’re gay.”

  48. Culum

    soooo close… try this

    “After a couple minutes I was just leaving and the HB7 was like “So, do you come here [the restaurant] often..” and I had to explain I was out of town etc”

    Her: So do you come here often? [oldest pick up line in the book btw…]
    You: No. I’m travelling through… where is is good for a drink?
    Her: blah blah
    You: Good. Give me your number, we will grab a drink later then. [direct]

    OR

    [let her take the hook]

    You: Well if you weren’t working I’d say come join me… when do you get off [note opportunity for sexualizing the GET OFF… you can play with this… 🙂 ]

    sooooo…. if she isn’t hooked you’ll get “hahahaha… I’d love to but I have to work until 11 then do XYZ” but if you have set the vibe… you may just be surprised.

    either way you have lost nothing. Took 2 more minutes out of doing what you wanted to be doing anyway…

    Try it. [spot the windows, jump through the windows… see a cracked window,try and open it up to jump through]

    and try the music experiment…

  49. Blax re Sfer being tooled…

    I suspect advice on how to handle this will be hugely influenced by whether respondents have or haven’t thrown and taken punches…

  50. @ Sentient

    ” I suspect advice on how to handle this will be hugely influenced by whether respondents have or haven’t thrown and taken punches…”

    Affirmative.

    My motto: I don’t start fights, I end them. ( awaiting ” bad ass alpha ” jokes..w/e ).

  51. @Sentient, Culum

    “either way you have lost nothing. Took 2 more minutes out of doing what you wanted to be doing anyway…

    Try it. [spot the windows, jump through the windows… see a cracked window,try and open it up to jump through]

    That Luke Gerhard RSD video when he mentioned Rollo (obtusely) also had him mentioning Vadim Zeland’s “Transurfing Reality” which was a mindset piece.

    This snippet/analogy was the best answer for your problems is the easiest and often right in front of you moment that Sentient is advocating for:

    Discover How To Trust Yourself

    Transurfing will teach you how to listen to yourself and trust wholeheartedly in your own intuition: If something doesn’t feel right, if you have to talk yourself into something or ‘sell’ yourself on something, or if you are currently in a situation that you struggle with daily there is a very simple way out. We’ve all seen a fly bang up against a window countless times trying to escape, even with an open door nearby. We as humans do the exact same thing. Just as you think the easiest answer is for the fly to go out of the door, Reality Transurfing will show you how to exit through the door when you are banging your head against a window. Almost always, the best answer for your problems is the easiest and often right in front of you. Transurfing will show you how to open your eyes and see when a door is open and simply walk through it.

    It is the relax and see fast moving things in slower time skill. The baseball approaching you slower enough to react properly paradigm. Sorry for the abstract generalities of thought for those of you who need concrete steps in reaction.

  52. “I don’t start fights, I end them.”

    I don’t want to get in a fight if I can avoid it at all. I’m not only getting close to getting old, but I’ve always had toothpicks for bones. I break easy. So I’d probably just have to kill the bastard.

    And I hate paperwork.

  53. Sentient – thank you. Spot on of course, but just didn’t occur to me in real-time as HABD would say. I’m up to seeing stuff like this happen in real time and I’m even taking action in real time (like the EC and telling stories and joking around) but just need to keep doing it to internalize the next step in real time (sexualization/closing).

    Re the sfer stuff – don’t quite understand your point about how advice will differ based on whether someone has been in a fight or not.

    Me: I don’t think of myself as a “fighter” at all and I’ll go to some pretty significant lengths to avoid one but somehow I’ve ended up in a fair few (by the standards of someone from my UMC suburban background followed by selective college and white collar job – obviously not compared with someone who had a real working class background etc). (I won’t let an innocent person get seriously injured by my inaction though if I see it – I’m not talking some bruises, I mean potential life-changing injuries).

    But I was in..let’s see. 4 fights in college (3 with the same friend over silly crap like who gets to hold the PS/2 controller and the 4th a small group of us – including the friend I had the other fights with- had the crap kicked out of us in a large brawl on holiday in Mexico – no serious injuries but bad bruises – it’s a long story but we didn’t speak the language and a large group of locals took a dislike to us).

    And then several more fights as an adult. Again, long story and I don’t go looking for fights, but I’ve had a knife pulled on me, I’ve been kicked and pushed out onto the street in the path of oncoming traffic (the image of bright headlights coming up on me and screeching to a halt inches from your face as you’re trying to get up off the street is not something I’ll ever forget) and I’ve stood in the middle of a raging bar fight shielding a pregnant woman with my body and trying to prevent anyone hitting her (even by accident) instead of doing the sensible thing and running the fuck out of the bar.

    Does any of that really change how I think? I basically subscribe to what YaReally says in his archive about fights. They are never worth it over girls and it’s almost never worth fighting unless to protect yourselves or loved ones (or other innocents in my view). I’ll walk away and be laughed at rather than risk that. I’ll protect my boundaries verbally and tool the AMOG verbally if necessary but I have no ego issues about running away from anything physical if I don’t have someone to protect. In practice though..except for the silly fights with my friend aged 19, I’ve pretty much always only stepped in to protect someone else who couldn’t protect themselves – usually a friend, but sometimes strangers like the pregnant woman.

  54. ROLLO I’m just a maintance man at a manufacturing plant. I don’t know shit about investment banking or wall St. Corporate shit. I can tell you this if adjust a fan on the assembly line for 1 woman your gonna spend all day doing the same for every women on that line. And if you change out 1 womans fluorescent bulbs too LED lighting in a office your gonna spend the next month changing every other female lights to LED in that department. We got a place on the other side of HR that we call cube city. It is a call center it’s the first place I had oh shit RP moment. They do warranty calls and installation calls and other stuff. I was in there on weekend and got lookin at the pictures pined to the walls of the cubicles. You could tell without looking at the name on the side of the cube weather the employee was male or female because the male had pics of the whole family and all the females only had pictures of themselves and their kids. Maybe some of the older one had pic of they kids and grandkids. But it was like damn there is a matrix. I mean the pic in male cubicles was man – woman – kids- pet. The females was all kids pets grand kids more cats. I was like shit TRM is truth or something. I tell you being in a manufacturing plant I don’t know how it’s all gonna play out I mean Trump want to bring back jobs but for the last 5 years at my plant robotic technology has been replacing workers 15 to 25 a year. They don’t fire anybody but use attrition to reduce head count. But don’t look good for the blue collar. It’s kinda fucked up cause it’s like if you bring back jobs in manufacturing the new plants will be robots. And it’s fucked up cause all this nationalism it’s like we don’t want in the USA immergants working for international corporations. The plant I work for is owned by the Japanese. The plant my brother works for is Korean. Got a cuz works BMW Germans I guess. I just don’t see how it all plays out nations vs international corps.

  55. @SJF – thanks I’ll check it out (wait is RSD Luke’s name “Luke Gerhard”?? No wonder he doesn’t actually use it in his marketing..).

    I think there needs to be a balance between the abstract and the specific – one informs and feeds the other (or inner game and outer game in PUA terms). So I will check it out.

  56. @Keith – welcome to the TRM comments (assuming that was your first comment). Settle in and pull up a chair. Can feel overwhelming reading all the comments here and we talk about all kinds of stuff but it’s a good place with a good group of regular guys and it’s good to have men with different perspectives – I don’t think there’s anyone else here with a real manufacturing job background.

  57. @ kfg

    Back in the spring, I tried out some Floyd Mayweather styled tactics in the gym. I was able to impress my mid 40″s instructor very much, and boxed him pretty much to a draw in 3 rounds.

    He then called into the ring a 22 year old light heavyweight for another 3 rounds.

    I was fully able to hold my own for round #1, but the sheer effort it took to evade this young man’s speed and strength took everything out of me. I was pummeled for the remaining 2 rounds.

    Thank God that most guys aren’t trained fighters.

    But….

    I can hear that clock ticking. Louder than it was before. It grew louder in that gym, that day.

    I’m good with it though. It’s natural.

    Like you, this only means that in another 5 or 6 years I will have to resort to other means of self protection, or only stay in designated ” safe ” areas of the planet.

    Nogales Mexico is definitely out past midnight.

  58. @Keith

    I can tell you this if adjust a fan on the assembly line for 1 woman your gonna spend all day doing the same for every women on that line. And if you change out 1 womans fluorescent bulbs too LED lighting in a office your gonna spend the next month changing every other female lights to LED in that department.

    Enjoyed your comments. This one alone probably contains so many Red Pill truths that Rollo could do a whole post on it. If he hasn’t already…

    Trump experiment is likely to make for interesting times, one way or another. But by all that is right and true, he has put a dent in the FI, and that has been fun to watch.

  59. Re: Trump and manufacturing jobs.

    With all of the talk about ” globalization ” for the last 20+ years, and the lamentations of our own representatives that there’s nothing to be done about it, I’m ecstatic to have heard Trump talking about the issue at least as unacceptable. Any nation that is supposed to be a true Superpower can not give up most of it’s industry for private profits. That is long term suicide.

    Our ” Trade Deals ” are indeed a joke, and have been forever. U.S. citizens always get the sharp end of the stick. TPP was a monstrosity that would attempt to weaken China’s stranglehold on the massive export driven economy they lord over, by creating newer rising pacific based economies to compete with China. Really? We are taking Nation Building to the next level.

    I don’t actually know that much about Steve Bannon ( outside of Brietbart and such ), but he said something that I’ve been saying for a decade now, so I was bowled over. To paraphrase, he said that what we’ve managed to accomplish with trade and policy was a Chinese middle class.

    Boom!!!!

    I do not know exactly what Trump will be able to do, as the Congress is still firmly in the pockets of the pro globalists, but what I do know is that the first step is the articulation of the problem. Trump has done this much.

    Just quickly off the top of my head, cars sold here are Toyota, Honda,Hyundai, Saab, Kia, Subaru, Nissan, BMW, Mercedes, Fiat…. I mean, give me a fucking break already. Where is the ” fair trade”??? China should be importing 100,000,000 Fords and Chevy’s, right? Everyone can come here and ” compete “, with all kinds of incentives and shit, but what are they gonna buy from us in the end?

    If Donald can manage to actually hold fast to the things that got him elected…well, most of them anyway…it will at least start a meaningful change in this country.

    And I CANNOT believe I am actually standing up for Trump. Laugh. My. Ass. Off.

    But let’s see what the conman in chief can do. It’s like the old joke-

    Man to Lawyer –
    ” You are dishonest , heartless, cruel, deceiving, lying, unscrupulous, ruthless and uncaring- and I’d like for you to represent me “.

  60. @culum struam not my first comment. I normally only make a statement when I’m mad at some Purple pill or sjw type. All I got is a I phone so it don’t come out correct. I will say HR departments at company’s are only there to protect the company from workmans comp claims and sexual harassment claims. And large company’s the Peter princable and CYA is always In effect in the white coller world. From non Union blue coller guy I tell you ignorance is blissful and red pill wisdom is a burden that is harder to carry than can explane. I see management moving and see good hearted men get fucked cause they don’t get the 48 laws of power. I seen one manger get canned cause of inoproprete touching with floor workers shit they didn’t even complain it’s just office politic correct bullshit. Blax knows me we talked on here before. The next man in demand meeting ROLLO calls I’m going. Me blaximus gonna get high as fuck ! We gonna get drunk ! Every time ROLLO say hyper gamy we take shot of vodka. That’s rite I’m teach y’all omg umc fuckers how to give zero fucks. When they drain the foam pool party I’m be that dead middle aged fucker at the bottom with no 401k plan cause he didn’t pull the plow.

  61. Keith
    I can tell you this if adjust a fan on the assembly line for 1 woman your gonna spend all day doing the same for every women on that line. And if you change out 1 womans fluorescent bulbs too LED lighting in a office your gonna spend the next month changing every other female lights to LED in that department.

    A few years back I had to sit through a course in “management”. It was full of case studies. You remind me of one. Small factory probably back in the 60’s, all female workers on a line. Some bright new manager decided to give them control over the lighting in the work area. Production increased! This was touted as “worker friendly” and “more control of workplace” and so forth. Further on in the book another factory with women on a line, and a different new manager took away control of lighting Productin increased! Nobody was fussing at anyone else about whether there was too much or not enough light, now they could all hiss at management.

    At the time I concluded “People like change once in a while, it’s boring to have the same setup day after day”. Now I add to that “women need their emotional roller coaster, and to feel that someone is paying attention to them and to their feelz”.

    The LED lights are better than the flouros anyway, because I have not heard of an LED catching on fire, but have seen a few interesting failure modes with the Chinese compact fluros. So it’s a gain for the company, provided they don’t decide to ask you to switch them out again.

    Yeah, TRM stuff is real deal, your cruise through the cubes on an off day is not a surprise.

  62. “That’s rite I’m teach y’all omg umc fuckers how to give zero fucks. When they drain the foam pool party I’m be that dead middle aged fucker at the bottom with no 401k plan cause he didn’t pull the plow”

    Once a guy has his castle (family, kids >21, 401K, >20 years of LTR, former HB8+ partner, and freedom to roam because of the former, it is actually easy to give ZF’s. We already died a million times and are free to roam. No plow pulled. Full on living at the edge without falling off the cliff.
    It is actually better to have a basis for ZFG, rather than simple irrational, exuberant self confidence.

    It is better to start a life well lived at 27 years old.

  63. “If Donald can manage to actually hold fast to the things that got him elected…well, most of them anyway…it will at least start a meaningful change in this country.”

    Well you can hold Trump to style if you understand his personality type.

    Don’t think he won’t be true to his style:

    https://www.16personalities.com/estp-strengths-and-weaknesses

    ESTP strengths

    Bold – People with the ESTP personality type are full of life and energy. There is no greater joy for ESTPs than pushing boundaries and discovering and using new things and ideas.

    Rational and Practical – ESTPs love knowledge and philosophy, but not for their own sake. What’s fun for ESTP personalities is finding ideas that are actionable and drilling into the details so they can put them to use. If a discussion is completely arbitrary, there are better uses for ESTPs’ time.

    Original – Combining their boldness and practicality, ESTPs love to experiment with new ideas and solutions. They put things together in ways no one else would think to.

    Perceptive – This originality is helped by ESTPs’ ability to notice when things change – and when they need to change! Small shifts in habits and appearances stick out to ESTPs, and they use these observations to help create connections with others.

    Direct – This perceptive skill isn’t used for mind games – ESTPs prefer to communicate clearly, with direct and factual questions and answers. Things are what they are.

    Sociable – All these qualities pull together to make a natural group leader in ESTPs. This isn’t something that they actively seek – people with this personality type just have a knack for making excellent use of social interactions and networking opportunities.

    ESTP Weaknesses

    Insensitive – Feelings and emotions come second to facts and “reality” for ESTPs. Emotionally charged situations are awkward, uncomfortable affairs, and ESTPs’ blunt honesty doesn’t help here. These personalities often have a lot of trouble acknowledging and expressing their own feelings as well.

    Impatient – ESTPs move at their own pace to keep themselves excited. Slowing down because someone else “doesn’t get it” or having to stay focused on a single detail for too long is extremely challenging for ESTPs.

    Risk-prone – This impatience can lead ESTPs to push into uncharted territory without thinking of the long-term consequences. ESTP personalities sometimes intentionally combat boredom with extra risk.

    Unstructured – ESTPs see an opportunity – to fix a problem, to advance, to have fun – and seize the moment, often ignoring rules and social expectations in the process. This may get things done, but it can create unexpected social fallout.

    May Miss the Bigger Picture – Living in the moment can cause ESTPs to miss the forest for the trees. People with this personality type love to solve problems here and now, perhaps too much. All parts of a project can be perfect, but the project will still fail if those parts do not fit together.

    Defiant – ESTPs won’t be boxed in. Repetition, hardline rules, sitting quietly while they are lectured at – this isn’t how ESTPs live their lives. They are action-oriented and hands-on. Environments like school and much entry-level work can be so tedious that they’re intolerable, requiring extraordinary effort from ESTPs to stay focused long enough to get to freer positions.

  64. @Dr Zipper

    One book that I’ve seen mentioned here before is “When I Say No I Feel Guilty.” For me, this book was a life changer; I read it in the early ’90s. It breaks down interpersonal dynamics within a frame of how people try to manipulate each other to get what they want. Recognizing when you are being manipulated goes a long way towards making it less effective. Highly recommended.

    Cosign.

    I think it was written in the 60s or 70s, and it translates well into modern day – I read it just last year. One thing I found particularly funny – my original motivation to read it was to help me deal with my mom better. The very first conversation I had with her after reading it, she complained to me about my grandmother manipulating her, and I ended up recommending her the book. To my surprise, she actually seemed interested in reading it (though if she’s read it, she hasn’t been applying it)

  65. @sjf. What’s a man to do ? I done lost my kids,wife,family, house , c- Corp business. Ended up sleeping in truck on my brothers front yard cause that’s all I got left. Took a job in a factory cause the state and DHR said I got to keep a steady pay check and insurance on the kids. These guys on here worried about getting doxxed. I’m like I got nothing left to loose. So fuck it ! I’m not a man of his own mission. I’m just a asset to be managed by the system. It’s like 2 pillers in my life that hold me up party and poon and that’s it. One day I may be a man of mission again but the world hates me if I am

  66. Donald Trump will be the deceiver in chief puppet for the right, just as Obama was for the left (change!). Trump is walking back on much of what he campaigned on and surrounding himself with the establishment that he claimed to be against. You can’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth. How a city slicker billionaire managed to game republican voters with his fish net hats and simple speak disgusts me in the the same way it disgusts me that Clinton voters were completely oblivious to her corruption.

    At this point, I think it’s obvious that trump was controlled opposition to the establishment. They ran him as an outsider candidate to round up the cattle to get their support and now that he got elected, he’s surrounding himself with establishment heads. The president is a puppet, always has been.

  67. @kfg: And I hate paperwork.

    Mandatory paperwork might be the basis for universal peace. Aversion therapy if you will.

  68. @Blaximus

    Cut what out? We can get real about sex, but not about race? I’m not trying to hurt your fee-fees but the ‘red pilling’ of white men requires a heavy dose of race realism too. You don’t understand the amount of brain washing and guilt that white men are indoctrinated to believe. It’s even worse than the fem-centric brain washing IMO.

  69. @(un)wise man

    Up hear in Canada we don’t have that race history you guys have. There’s the usual inner-city cop shoots young black kid unfortunately but it’s not something I really grew up with.
    Race discussions and RP don’t mix. If I wanted to read about race shit in forums I’d check out Heartsie. Maybe that’s more of an appropriate place for your race rants.

  70. This ain’t a PUA/alt right site. I’m certain CH would love and agree with all of your ” realism ” though.

  71. Trump is a populist, with a shit to of leftist ideals. Even his stuff about border control would have matched Bernie Sanders’ a few years back

    Calling him right wing…. probably not the best display of poltical understanding on the interwebz

  72. Trump was a stalking horse. That’s a different animal than controlled opposition. For a stalking horse to come to life and win a race is really quite a remarkable achievement.

    Wikileaks let us know that Bernie was compromised and was the controlled opposition. I don’t agree with Bernie’s political views, but I always liked him as a person and appreciated the way he built a political career out of being the grist in the establishment machine.

    To see him end his career as a grovelling water carrier for the Democrat machine is really a bit sad. Makes one wonder just what it is they have on him.

  73. @A Wise Man

    The problem with Race realism is it’s overtly Anti-social behavior in the wake of the Sexual Revolution.

    Painting ourselves into a corner is antithetical to game aware pragmatism as described, not “PRE-scribed” on this site.

  74. Also describing, not prescribing is a great way to avoid getting censored, not that I think of it.

  75. “I’m not sure opening another gourmet cupcake eatery counts as contributing to the status of women in business” this really does sound sexist. I know your going to flame me as a white knight or something but really? a gourmet cupcake eatery. You are selling the ladies short with this one.. Do think the article has some sense. The whole money world is artificial construct. If you look at some of the research in anthropology in the modern world people are working considerably harder yet all this technology should be reducing labor but it isn’t. Women have a lot to offer and I like gourmet cupcake eaterys. I have been self employed mostly do have little idea of what the office environment is like. I got scewed by a co worker in one of the jobs I did do so that helped me into self employment. I have however met some amazing women like that worked in zoos and health care and so on.

  76. @SFC Ton

    Yes, trump campaigned as a populist and got some blue collar moderate democrats to vote for him, but the majority of his support came from the right, alt right, republicans, whatever you want to call them.

    I agree with a lot of what trump campaigned on, I just think it’s obvious he is surrounding himself with the snakes. America is an oligarchy, controlled from the top down, not bottom up.

  77. @Traveluzion

    He’s not knocking women he’s just not respecting hypocrisy. And this woman thinks her hard work and bashing men will grant her all her wishes. No awareness required.

  78. I am getting that there is the supposition in this article and comments that the corporate business world is masculine. My understaanding would be that these structures evollved out of the colonial companies that were essentially state sanctioned monopolies to conquer and extract wealth. This then I would say is not masculine but a corruption of a male archetype. This is very common I think with both genders to consider a corrupted archetype the actual archetype. Here I can post a link to a very successful musician who is female if you wish to explore the music and imagery and how it relates to these corrupted archetypes and relationships also as with much of her other music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19f9Ds45fSE

  79. I would encourage you to have a look at any Women in Business issue of any special program periodical, or any chamber of commerce event with a similar title.

    Look at the business of choice the lady “entrepreneurs” there decided to start a business from. How many are beauty, food, craft or women’s interests related?

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