Fempowerment

fempowerment

I’m often asked by ‘fempowered’ women critics whether I ‘believe‘ in some of the more socially acceptable tenets of feminism in some sort defense to the affront of my Red Pill lens being cast their way. It’s usually something to do with, “Do you or do you not think women ought to have the right to vote?” or the ever-reliable “Shouldn’t women have the right to do with their bodies what they choose?” These questions are always binary (“yes or no will do”) and usually couched in a context that implies that if you even slightly disagree or have a marginal caveat to answering ‘appropriately’ you’ll be dismissed with a name tag that has “misogynist” printed on it. Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man.

Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man. Up until recently, it’s been a very effective means of silencing uncomfortable truths about the Feminine Imperative.

I’ve always found it ironic that a movement (feminism) that predicates itself on the ostensibly egalitarian notion that rational, reasonable considerations of issues should lead us to ideals of equality is the first to reduce itself to unquestioned, blind faith binaries at the first sign of rational reasonable truth being unflattering to women. If you want to know who holds power over you, look at whom you aren’t allowed to criticise – or even hint at criticism.

My position on these and many other questions of the sort is usually met with simple observational analysis (as you’d probably expect). I don’t necessarily have a problem with women voting or even having access to legal (relatively safe) abortions. What I have a problem with is the latent purpose behind the reasons that led to women’s decisions to vote a particular way or the latent purposes that brought them to having that abortion. For the greater part, any dubious ‘right’ women feel they were somehow denied in the past usually comes at the expense of men being liable for decisions they had nothing to do with.

What I have a problem with is an expectation of lowering the standards of the game, thus fundamentally altering the game, to better accommodate the variable strengths and weaknesses of women – up to, and including, changing the very nature of women’s environmental realities that would endanger the wellbeing of both sexes. What I take issue with is the expectation of making men liable for the decisions and consequences of the rights and freedom of choices we’ve reserved for only women to make (almost unilaterally Hypergamic choices) that are not in men’s best interests.

I mentioned in Our Sister’s Keeper that men today find themselves in a very precarious position with regard to entertaining women’s perceived wrongs of the past. Men are expected,by default, to be held accountable, for no other reason than they were born men, for past injuries to the ever-changing Feminine Imperative. Your existence as a man today, your failed understanding to accommodate women’s social primacy, your lack of catering to the ambiguous nature of what conveniently passes for masculinity, is a constant stinking affront and obstacle to the “advancement” of women. The Feminine Imperative has known how to manipulate men’s Burden of Performance for millennia, and at not other time in history has it had the unfettered leisure to do so than now.

So, we get socially acceptable default presumptions of ‘male privilege’ without qualifying what it even means, or we get catchy jingoisms like ‘mansplaining’ to give a name to women’s need for silencing men’s inconvenient observations of women’s ‘correct’ perceptions, decisions and the reasons they came to them. We get default presumptions of male guilt for sexual assault and sexual consent as fluidly defined in as convenient a way that serves women’s imperatives. As I’ve mentioned before, the true intent of feminism has never been about establishing a mutually agreed ‘equality’, rather it’s always been about retribution and restitution for perceived past wrongs to the sisterhood.

There has always been a subtext, a cover story, of equality mentioned in the same breath as feminism. Only the most antagonistic asshole, only the most anti-social prick, would be against “equality between the sexes”. Thus, to be against feminism is to be against a simplistic concept of baseline equality. However, taken out of the propagandizing efforts to shame and ‘correct’ men’s imperatives, it’s easy to demonstrate that the true intent of feminism is female ‘fempowerment’ in the dressing of an equality that no man (or woman) wants to appear to be against.

Yellowed Pearls

I found an interesting example of this  Catch 22 in the Economist recently. Pick and choose: Why women’s rights in China are regressing.

In 2007 China’s official Xinhua news agency published a commentary about women who were still unmarried at the age of 27 under the title, “Eight Simple Moves to Escape the Leftover Woman Trap”. The Communist Party had concluded that young Chinese women were becoming too picky and were over-focused on attaining the “three highs”: high education, professional status and income. Newspapers have since reprinted similar editorials. In 2011 one said: “The tragedy is they don’t realise that as women age they are worth less and less, so by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old, like yellowed pearls.”

In the last Red Pill Monthly discussion, I mentioned the expansion that the Feminine Imperative has taken on a global scale. One of the old missives of the manosphere has always been about how American women are too far gone to be worth ever entertaining beyond a pump-and-dump consideration. They are too damaged and self-absorbed beyond all redemption, and men ought to expatriate to another country where women are more feminine or at least necessitous enough to appreciate a conventionally masculine man.

I get that. I understand the want for a Poosy Paradise or some promised land where women are still raised to respect and love men by being conventionally feminine. I also get that there exist certain cultures where this is still true, but for all of that, I think it’s important to recognize the social undercurrent that the Feminine Imperative exercises in these cultures. A popular meme on Twitter is ‘Feminism is Cancer’, but there’s a kernel of truth to the humor of this. The spread of the westernizing social primacy of the Feminine Imperative is spreading, not unlike cancer, into what we would otherwise believe were societies and cultures still oppressed by the mythical Patriarchy – a belief necessary to perpetuate the narrative of default female victimhood.

It may not be now, but at some stage, the Feminine Imperative will exercise its presumptive control over even the societies we think ought to be immune from that cancer. As I mention on The Red Pill Monthly, even in underdeveloped countries where we would expect to find the horrible oppression of girls and women, we make a triumphant example of the incidents of where girls (not boys) are taught to read and “think for themselves”. Westernized culture, founded on the Feminine Imperative, celebrates every time a woman in Saudi Arabia is allowed to drive a car, much less run a business on her own as if it were some blow against the tyranny of men.

Little by little, or in leaps and bounds, your second or third world Poosy Paradise will eventually be assimilated by the Feminine Imperative.

I bring this up because, as you’ll read in the linked article, China is also experiencing the long-term results of having adopted feminine social primacy in its own culture. From women’s popular consciousness, we’re still, to this day, told of how horrible “communist” China has been in mandating its one-child policy and how its draconian ‘sons live, daughters die’ social structure has been the result. However, once we reasonably investigate it, we find that China now has a problem with “Yellowed Pearls” as a result of a cultural shift that placed women’s interests as preeminent in that culture. And it should be noted that this shift came about as the direct result of the men who adopted and accommodated the Feminine Imperative as their own.

Now the problem for women in China is not unlike the plight of American women bemoaning the lack of men with “equal” marriageability as themselves. And likewise, the self-same social authorities responsible for institutionalizing the fempowerment of women are now the horrible misogynist villains for suggesting that women ought to lower their unrealistic standards.

The tone of these articles is surprising, given the Communist Party’s past support for women’s advancement. Mao Zedong destroyed China, but he succeeded in raising the status of women. Almost the first legislation enacted by the Communist Party in 1950 was the Marriage Law under which women were given many new rights, including the right to divorce and the right to own property.

Sounds a far cry different from the pictures women, even women in this century, have painted of China’s institutionalized, one-child sexism doesn’t it? Remember, this advancement in women’s rights took place before the Cultural Revolution in China.

Though collectivisation made the latter largely irrelevant, women played an active role in Mao’s China, and still do today. By 2010 26% of urban women had university degrees, double the proportion ten years earlier. Women now regularly outperform men at Chinese universities, which has led to gender-based quotas favouring men in some entrance exams. However, many of the earlier advances have been eroded in recent years by the gradual re-emergence of traditional patriarchal attitudes.

Consider this part in contrast to other industrialized nations and how women have increased their socio-political standing as the result of having the Feminine Imperative adopted as the primary social order of those cultures. Even in cultures that are still popularly deemed “repressive” to women we see educational and socioeconomic parallels to western(ized) cultures. We also see the same resulting consequences and the shifting of blame for them to men. The downside of Yellowed Pearls is placed at the feet of men for not living up to the convenient, feminine-primary definition of what their Burden of Performance ought to mean in promoting and forgiving women’s decisions.

The party has joined an alliance of property companies and dating websites to confront the issue. Government surveys on marriage and property are often sponsored by matchmaking agencies, and perpetuate the perception that being “leftover” is the worst thing that can happen to a woman. They also promote other myths, such as the idea that a man must have a house before he can marry.

As you may expect, the tone of the article is written to emphasize an egalitarian perspective that conflicts with a reality that the Feminine Imperative would have men change or be responsible for not having changed. It’s men’s fault that women might feel bad for not having married by a post-wall age. It’s men’s fault for promoting myths that women would expect that a man must be successfully established in his life and career before any considerations of marriage occur to him. It’s also a man’s fault for clinging to the “myth” that women don’t want him to be established.

The law is reflecting the shift away from women’s empowerment too. An interpretation by the Supreme Court in 2011 of the 1950 Marriage Law stated that, when a couple divorces, property should not be shared equally, but each side should keep what is in his or her own name. This ruling, says Ms Fincher, has serious implications. In the big cities a third of marriages now end in divorce but, based on hundreds of interviews, she finds that only about 30% of married women have their name on the deeds of the marital flat. Women believe the party hype about becoming a “leftover” woman so strongly, she says, that many rush into unhappy marriages with unsuitable men, made on condition that the brides agree not to put their name on the property deeds.

Feminism Would be a Success if Men Would Only Cooperate More

Several years ago Dalrock had a post detailing the sentiment of feminists that feminism would be a success if only men would cooperate with the ideology by abandoning their own interests and sublimating their own biological impulses. The fact remains that feminism and egalitarianism are failed ideologies because at the root level those ideologies ask men to participate in their own extinction. Not only this, but they ask men to raise successive generations to accommodate and participate in their own degradation.

The narrative expects Yellowed Pearls to be prized by men, or respected as Spinsters, or pandered to as ‘Cougars’ while still maintaining men sublimate their own imperatives by willfully ignoring the fact that their own sexual strategy is what is being asked of them to abandon. As I stated in the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies, for one sex’s strategy to succeed the other must either be compromised or abandoned – what better way is there to assure this for women than to socially mandate through shame, persecution or financial liabilities that men abandon their own strategy in favor of women?

For some time now, I’ve detailed how for the past 4 or 5 generations, there has been a popular social re-engineering effort to raise and condition boys to become the ‘better betas‘ – boys designed to become the supportive male-reinforcers of empowering women’s interests and imperatives.

For a greater part this effort has been primarily focused on boys and men in western society, and while it’s still open for debate, I’d say that westernizing cultures are really the only cultural environments that can afford to entertain this ‘fempowerment’. This is changing radically now if it was ever really the case to begin with.

In the manosphere we like to highlight the ‘pussification’ of modern men through various efforts on the part of a nebulous ‘socitey’ aligned against masculinity. However, the flip side to this is the fempowerment agenda; an feminine-primary social structure that disallows any criticism of inherently female nature while promoting the empowerment of women on every level of social strata.

We coddle and cater to the feminine in every aspect of social interaction, every aspect of academic achievement, every socioeconomic advantage inventable, every story we tell in every form of media and we do so under the threat of not being supportive or misogynistic for suggesting anything marginally pro-masculine. This is the other side of the demasculinization imperative of boys & men – the total consolidation of handicaping men and empowering women into unrealistic effigies of feminine triumphalism.

How do you counter this?

I’m always lauded for describing these social dynamics, but I’m run up the flagpole for not offering concrete ways of dealing with and pushing back on these imperatives. Many a MGTOW will simply suggest men no longer play the Game, that isolationism is the way to go, but this only serves to eventually concede power to the Feminine Imperative. You don’t get to check out of the Game even if you refuse to play it. For all the guys who left for parts unknown to find their demi-utopia of feminine women in a foreign country, even they will explain that the tide of feminism is changing those seemingly idlyic places. And for every guy to voluntarilly go celebate and “refuse to deal with women” I’ll show you a man whose tax dollars go to fund the consequences of women’s legislated rights to Hypergamous choice.

Sooner or later Men will have to confront and push back against both men and women who are convinced of their purpose in idealizing the dictates of the Feminine Imperative. A lot of men in the ‘sphere believe their being clever when they refer to people with this worldview as ‘SJWs’, but for every hair dyed, gender-confused man-woman you see on Twitter there are hundreds of ‘normal’ people who all share similar perspectives – some simply subconscious generalization they’re oblivious to – sitting next to you at church, or working in the cubicle next to you.

As I’ve mentioned countless times, the change needs to take place by appealing to the hearts and minds of Men by making them Red Pill aware from the bottom up, but moreover, we need to live out that awareness in our own lives and lead by Red Pill example. Our decisions in life, our aspiration in parenting, family and career, in our business dealings, in the women we Game and the people we hire, all of these aspects need to take on the perspective of how they fit into pushing back against a feminine-primary world that demands we surrender any thought of individuated male power.

As Men, we need to unapologetically exercise what little power we’re left with to inform this and successive generation of Red Pill truths tactfully, but with strength of conviction in the face of a feminine-primary society bent on our surrender. Life finds a way. Feminism and the consolidation of the Feminine Imperative have failed because Men were not evolved to acquiesce their dominant spirit. On the same evolutionary level women also evolved into requiring that convnetionally masculine dominance. This is why feminism and egalitarianism will ultimately fail – nature simply will not cooperate with it’s own stagnation. As men, we can use this truth to our Red Pill aware advantage.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

906 comments on “Fempowerment

  1. Unconditional love.

    Question: Do people ” deserve ” unconditional love? Are the majority of humans capable of unconditional love?

    Is everyone worthy of love?

    Is that the way things work, or a feel good fairy tale?

    For the Record, I have unconditional love for a select few, and they ” earned ” it.

    I have had unconditional love for my newborn children because they depend on my and they are my offspring.

    I am 55 and at this age, I know better.

    Unconditional love is rare. Most people are incapable of it, no matter how much one may feel that they are deserving.

    Let someone tell you that they ” love ” you, then spit in their eyes every time they say it. Most love is conditional. No one automatically deserves anything in life.

  2. xsplat – OK – I am assuming these young women “gush” for you (you know psychologically submit) – but maybe I am misunderstanding the dynamic you are experiencing – gush – yes or no?

    Assuming gush – yes – then, for me the thing is, I am losing respect for this woman, because she is psychologically submitting. I don’t want her to submit (except by way of exploring sexual fantasies of sexual submission, in bed, which is fine, if that’s what the woman wants – I be somewhat kinky so I like all sorts of sexual stuff). Instead I want her to respect herself and respect me. I don’t think she can truly respect me, if she doesn’t respect herself, and the tell on that is she gushes (so easily psychologically submits = lack of self-respect). Then I think ahead and I start to see this is either not going to end well (her hurt feelings of betrayal), or instead we could go all-in to the cultish la-la-land of the cult-of-WM. Either eventuality is not appealing to me. So in the past I would avoid such woman. I would only seek women that I would have to put some effort into wrt to pursuing (thus being a tell for their self-respect). But then ……. I have ended up with problems similar to many of the other commenters here, in that perhaps what I took for self-respect as setting up the good possibility of a dynamic of mutual respect, – didn’t actually turn out that way. So a guy then ends up here (at this site).

    Crazy huh? Crazy enough to read all Rollo’s stuff (and other redpill pundit’s stuff) and buy into it to some degree, except that ……. if you buy it …… you are then inevitably faced with the following possibilities of framing the man/woman thing then:

    1) Women are deficient in aptitude for personal agency and so are incapable of returning the hope for mutual respect (I think I have refuted this stance as hogwash – I could share my argument for that if you like)

    2) It is not that women are deficient aptitude-wise wrt to personal agency, it is that they are duplicitous cunts, that know full well they are double-dealing, and don’t give a fuck …. it is all a confidence game man …. the Feminine Imperative is not just top-down so to speak, but top-down, bottom-up and everything in between (you know it is rather hard to logically refute this stance but come’on …. look around …. we all got mothers and sisters as well ……. this one is just dumb, no explanation required ….. look around and just see for yourself – there are such cunt-like women but this is not the norm)

    3) Men and women are still not understanding each other (this one is worth a look see imo cause it turns out not much has been done on this front by either the men or the women yet – I got some ideas around this I could share with you if you like).

    xsplat – look, if it is #3, then some of this redpill stuff is going to turn out to be BS by way of going too far. Now I am not saying throw the baby out with the bathwater, I’m saying hey …. let’s foster more discussion.

    xsplat – what says you….1, 2 or 3?

  3. @SJF. It was not my intention to diss your marriage, or your lust after your wife.

    But are you telling me that you have no eyes for any other women?

    Are you telling me that you believe that Playboy and Penthouse and most of all images sold to the marketplace of men looking for arousal are not actually of young women?

    Are you trying to tell me that you are not more sexually aroused by the sight of a young woman (who is not your wife) than of an old woman?

    Nobody ever implied that you were not aroused by your wife.

    Or did you not read for comprehension. I could quote what I said, if that would help.

  4. Well, I am well know for being inscrutable.

    Like a bell curve I am not like other men. I have lived my life to be two standard deviations beyond the mean. (the good end)

    You ask very good questions. And interesting ones.

    I don’t need to be more sexually aroused by other women.

    But I am just one man and I would be an idiot to project my situ or frustrations lack of frustrations on others.

  5. @Wild Man:

    I long ago lost hope and even interest in a perfect and ideal love.

    I have a hard time even remembering the ideals that were once so important to me.

    You are asking questions that to me don’t mean anything anymore.

    One by one:

    1) Women are deficient in aptitude for personal agency and so are incapable of returning the hope for mutual respect (I think I have refuted this stance as hogwash – I could share my argument for that if you like)

    Personal agency is a rabbit hole. How deep you do you want to go down that? No philosopher has ever gone down that hole and come back up sane. There is no answer to that question. Personal agency is an illusion, or to put it more kindly, a construct of our language and brain wiring. It is meaningless. For both men and women.

    And I’m picking up a scent of this: “I would not join any club that would have me as a member”.

    2) It is not that women are deficient aptitude-wise wrt to personal agency, it is that they are duplicitous cunts, that know full well they are double-dealing, and don’t give a fuck …. it is all a confidence game man …. the Feminine Imperative is not just top-down so to speak, but top-down, bottom-up and everything in between (you know it is rather hard to logically refute this stance but come’on …. look around …. we all got mothers and sisters as well ……. this one is just dumb, no explanation required ….. look around and just see for yourself – there are such cunt-like women but this is not the norm)

    Yes, women are duplicitous and double dealing. Much of the time it is unconscious. Conscious or not doesn’t much matter. We are evolved for self interest (of our genes). You put a lot of stock into this idea of “choice”. I don’t.

    3) Men and women are still not understanding each other (this one is worth a look see imo cause it turns out not much has been done on this front by either the men or the women yet – I got some ideas around this I could share with you if you like).

    Men and women have different agendas and different outlooks. Different goals and different frames of reference. It’s possible to learn a theory of mind for women, but it’s not possible to put yourself into women’s shoes. You can only approximate their inner workings with a mental map, but you can’t embody it. The same for them, only they mostly can’t at all approximate a man’s experience.

  6. Rollo, you have a good blog here. I especially like your post on the Lonely Old Man Myth from 2011 (I found that while Googling The Myth of Loneliness).

    However, after I read another post of yours, you seem to be too into this “looks matter a lot” philosophy.

    Social Kenny, a guy that you are friends with, had some good entries about this on his blog:

    Link 1: https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2015/06/16/do-looks-matter-the-final-say-on-looks/

    In this link, Kenny says this:

    Quote”Guys who believe that looks matter, are usually the ones who can’t get laid to save their life!”Quote

    Link 2: https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2014/02/01/do-looks-matter-the-truth/

  7. “I long ago lost hope and even interest in a perfect and ideal love.
    I have a hard time even remembering the ideals that were once so important to me.

    Personal agency is a rabbit hole. How deep you do you want to go down that? No philosopher has ever gone down that hole and come back up sane. There is no answer to that question. Personal agency is an illusion, or to put it more kindly, a construct of our language and brain wiring. It is meaningless. For both men and women.

    And I’m picking up a scent of this: “I would not join any club that would have me as a member”.

    Yes, women are duplicitous and double dealing. Much of the time it is unconscious. Conscious or not doesn’t much matter. We are evolved for self interest (of our genes). You put a lot of stock into this idea of “choice”. I don’t.

    Men and women have different agendas and different outlooks. Different goals and different frames of reference. It’s possible to learn a theory of mind for women, but it’s not possible to put yourself into women’s shoes. You can only approximate their inner workings with a mental map, but you can’t embody it. The same for them, only they mostly can’t at all approximate a man’s experience.”

    LOL.

    I don’t want to speak for Rollo, but that sounds like something he wrote once as red pill theory.

  8. @ SJF

    Most times what you describe is beyond the understanding of many men.

    But that’s cool. No problem.

    I left home today and my wife was there. Before I left, I was busily checking her out. She is still attractive, even sexy. I will bang tonight. I want to.

    I chatted up a much younger woman on my way to work. She was, maybe…21 or so. She was gorgeous in that she had all that I find attractive in a woman.

    It was very nice talking to her. It was a lot of fun. It was kinda sexual mostly. But at the conclusion of our convo, which I initiated, I was perfectly fine with just having the feelz and the short experience.

    I did not need to ” close her ” or try to have sex with her. I did not fully want her in that way.

    It is because I am happy in marriage.

    It’s kinda like ( I have to relate EVERYTHING to cars…lol )..

    A guy here at work has a killer Porsche.

    http://srv2.betterparts.org/images/porsche-911-turbo-09.jpg

    And he only drives it to work during spring-fall, in nice weather. Every time he drives it in, I go and look at it in the parking lot. Every. Single. Time. It is a magnificent auto and I get feelz when I see it.

    But, I don’t want it. I don’t covet it. I like seeing it up close and in person, and then going on my merry way.

    It’s here at my job right now. I’ve ogled it already, and I will do so the next time I see it.

    I could get one of my own, if I truly wanted that car that badly, but the car(s) that I own were my personal choice. I actually Like my car more because it is mine and it does what I expect and need for it to do. My car ain’t that Porsche, but my car is a looker also.

    Sometimes, when guys speak of a certain uncontrollability around ” young ” or ” Hawt ” women, I find it very odd. It is pedestalization. It is a dangerous space to operate in. Women are well aware of this.

  9. @SJF

    I don’t want to speak for Rollo, but that sounds like something he wrote once as red pill theory.

    Yes, Rollo is a brilliant writer who has many rediscovered timeless insights. Some would say original insights, but I have a hard time believing that there are that many original insights left in regards to the human condition.

  10. Some people deserve life without parole,doesn’t mean they are going to get it.
    Some people deserve easy street , doesn’t mean they are going to get it.

    Most should be thankfull that deserves got nothing to do with it.

  11. “There are no principles; there are only events. There is no good and bad, there are only circumstances. The superior man espouses events and circumstances in order to guide them. If there were principles and fixed laws, nations would not change them as we change our shirts and a man can not be expected to be wiser than an entire nation.”

    HONORÉ DE BALZAC, 1799-1850

  12. “Yes, Rollo is a brilliant writer who has many rediscovered timeless insights. Some would say original insights, but I have a hard time believing that there are that many original insights left in regards to the human condition.”

    (What follows is not referencing Rollo….)

    Most skilled artists reinterpret, with wisdom, themes they have assimilated from other artists. It is often legit to trace rather that draw free-hand. Who gives a shit if it was original when masculine agency and power (and sexual strategy) are concerned?

  13. @SJF, I am often guilty of taking credit for insights.

    And yet sometimes I notice the incredible power of subconscious processing. Have you ever glanced at a page of a book, only to have parts of the page jump out at you that you were not paying attention to and did not know (or believe possible) that you were seeing?

    I have this happen to me often. It’s common with the capitol letter X, for instance, but sometimes it’s more complicated phrases.

    We really have no ability to be conscious of what we are not conscious of, and so the “insights” we have can’t be attributed.

    I’m not denying re-organizing of information in novel ways. I’m just saying that even the novel ways have often been organized freshly in the past, in regards to timeless themes, such as relations between men and women.

    I have seen writers take credit for too much, and I do the same.

  14. xsplat – OK – I like what you said in the last paragraph of your last comment directed my way. Men and women have different focus and different motivations is how I like to say it. For me …… I think these differences are partly meant to actually serve as inspiration – men for women, and women for men. And I think we all could profit from being more aware of what is inspiring about the other – and I think the redpill discussion should now head that way.

    Now xsplat, wrt your other comments – I define personal agency in very simple terms as follows:

    personal agency = the belief that we have the capability to make meaningful non-deterministic decisions, which therefore also implies personal responsibility for said decisions.

    Furthermore I think this personal agency aptitude is not well-formed in humans, and is probably an aptitude that exists on a gradient, and that it therefore may be present in other mammals, but perhaps humans are more gifted in this respect yet nevertheless, since it is not yet well-formed, there is still alot of controversy wrt to the real limits of personal agency.

    I has an exchange a while back with superslaviswife over at Illimitable Men, wrt to the underpinnings of personal agency and the lack of evidence for gendered differences wrt to normative aptitude for personal agency. Here is the link if you are interested:

    https://illimitablemen.com/2016/03/16/understanding-female-psychology/#comments

    xsplat – I’m not sure how you can so confidently dismiss the concept of personal agency as meaningless. Even if it is contingent on cultural artifacts (like language) that are contingent on brain architecture,as you have alluded to, and therefore an “illusion” in that sense – well then so what? – by way of defining it as such, then it is an illusion in the same sense as pretty much everything else about human beings (like the abstract nature of the discussion here, for instance, that you have irl all the time, as well). I’m really not grasping your point about personal agency being meaningless.

    xsplat – you also made an interesting comment – “And I’m picking up a scent of this: “I would not join any club that would have me as a member”. Did you mean that in some universal sense or was that an observation you were making about me personally? If so I wouldn’t mind knowing what you mean by that.

  15. @xplat

    Imagine you are a few years older,you have a very high n count from your youth and have been married to the same woman for say 30+ years.You have some healthy loving children with this woman,you have been through some serious hard times together and now share a sense of humor.You have been unfaithfull and suspect so has she but that is all in the past with lessons learned.

    Now imagine that you have no bills and assets worth over 500k + more potential left to run on.Would you really at this juncture risk throwing this away for one poke in the hairy end of a belly? even another pretty one?

    Most of the men you are advising on this site are in this position or better.
    You would be better served to take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth where relationships are concerned.

    If you have any questions feel free to ask we are here to help.

  16. @Xplat

    I don’t have that feeling. Pretty much never. My consciousness over-rides my unconscious pretty much always. I know where my thoughts come from and they don’t just happen. I create them.

    “I’m not denying re-organizing of information in novel ways. I’m just saying that even the novel ways have often been organized freshly in the past, in regards to timeless themes, such as relations between men and women.”

    Modern day “noise” and the Feminine Imperative seem to over-ride the the masculine agency signals in the last 50 years. Old time men knew this shit, they just didn’t write it down.

    I highly admire Blaximus and the fact that he got the memos in the late teen years that avoided me. And he subsequently avoided the noise that drowned out the masculine signal.

    Red pill theory is not for nothing. It cuts through the noise. That is what Rollo does. And Game is for the taking–that is what the manosphere was created for. To advance masculine agency. And I’m an enthusiast.

  17. I was being a bit facile about dismissing agency. To be more nuanced I should say I doubt it’s possible to reconcile our gut feeling about agency with an objective logical truth about agency. Much of our agency is chosen for us before we are born – the choices were are free to make are constrained by choices we did not make. Our firmware is not a choice. Our enculturation is not a choice. It’s not possible to untangle the knots and point to something that is agency.

    But on a practical level, I’m all about agency, and that is the number one reason that I am posting here on this blog at all. You see, my disagreement with Rollo has been an ongoing one, and it boils down to one main fundamental point.

    Men have free agency to increase their sexual marketplace value.

    I believe that Rollo’s writings are fundamentally about accepting the sexual marketplace as it is.

    I believe that denies a man’s culpability and free agency in his own value.

    I believe that Rollo is ignorant of his own and other men’s sexual potential.

    I believe that this can be harmful to the man who could otherwise learn and cultivate ambition.

    About my comment about not wanting to join any club that would have you as a member, you mentioned that you don’t like it when women gush too easily for you.

    Personally I like it, although I don’t necessarily take it 100 percent personally. I realize that women have preset triggers. If I happen to be in the right place at the right time triggering a gush, that works in my favor. I’m all for it. I like the feelings.

    I no longer consider it a philosophical quandary.

  18. @Stuffinbox. I was not aware that most men commenting and reading this blog are roughly 60 years old and have been married for about thirty years.

    Are you aware of that? I think you are just making that up.

    And for those men that are in that position, you are trapped, and enjoying your cage. More power to you.

    It’s still a cage. And it means you don’t know how to not be trapped. It means you did not create a life where you were not trapped.

    That’s fine by me.

    But living that life means that you do not and can not understand how do deal with women skillfully.

    If you did, you would not be trapped.

  19. ” I believe that Rollo is ignorant of his own and other men’s sexual potential.”

    What blog have you been reading?

    I don’t get that same vibe here. Not even close.

  20. @Blaximus, I’ve been reading the blog where after I talk about my personal experience with young virgins who were deeply infatuated with me, Rollo keeps talking about how women are afraid of me and that I pay for them.

    Just last night a women who has never slept with any other man other than me was in my bed. She earns more money than do most readers of this blog, and I’ve never given her a dime.

    I’m reading the blog where this fact can not and will never be heard.

  21. @xplat
    I eat what I like,sleep when I like,pick and choose my work and spend my time when and where and how i like.In essence I have a total freedom of mind and agency.Even if I were behind bars I would be free.

    Blax,SJF,Rollo,Myself and many others have far more experience than you,to bad most of your target audience is out chasing poon on a saturday night,getting the experience we have.

  22. @Xplat

    “Men have free agency to increase their sexual marketplace value.

    I believe that Rollo’s writings are fundamentally about accepting the sexual marketplace as it is.”

    False premise and straw man argument. That is how you see it. I don’t.

    Rollo can be faulted for never having walked in an AFC’s shoes (except for his four years of BPD hell when he didn’t know any better), but he doesn’t need to give a prescription to AFC’s because he understands that that is a fools game. I.e most men would screw up even if he gave them a pre-script. So it is completely logical for him not to be prescriptive. He’s not that dumb.

    “And for those men that are in that position, you are trapped, and enjoying your cage. More power to you.

    But living that life means that you do not and can not understand how do deal with women skillfully.
    If you did, you would not be trapped.”

    I call: False premise and straw man argument on that.

    https://therationalmale.com/2015/11/06/always-default-to-game/comment-page-3/#comment-127004

    I spend a lot of time looking at girls in their underwear. It’s my job (sorry for the overt disclosure YaReally). And I socialize and I go out a lot these days including with “beautiful” women. I’ll take my wife first any day.

    I’m not qualifying myself to you, nor anyone else. To each his own, including you. I’m just saying that you have your opinion and you are welcome to tell it too us. It’s not a bad one at all.

  23. ” I was not aware that most men commenting and reading this blog are roughly 60 years old and have been married for about thirty years.

    Are you aware of that? I think you are just making that up.

    And for those men that are in that position, you are trapped, and enjoying your cage. More power to you.

    It’s still a cage. And it means you don’t know how to not be trapped. It means you did not create a life where you were not trapped.”

    http://d65852kwq1u8u.cloudfront.net/uploads/7513_smokincrack.jpg

    I don’t think we mature gentlemen make up a majority here.

    No one that I can recall, that comments regularly and is above 45 has complained of being trapped.

    I, am not trapped.

    ” But living that life means that you do not and can not understand how do deal with women skillfully.

    If you did, you would not be trapped.”

    Wow. You have an odd, truncated view of the world/relationships.

    Who fucked you over?

    And if you’d read the ops that Rollo has written, maybe you’d gain a better understanding…. oh wait…you’d have to be TRYING to gain understanding to get anything out of the writings.

    Nevermind.

    It is possible to enter into marriage without becoming trapped or caged. It is not for the feint of heart or those lacking a certain knowledge and will. You’re pissing into the wind, trying to tell men who are happily guiding their lives exactly where and how they want, by telling us we are caged and trapped and that we don’t know how to deal with women ” skillfully “.

    Marriage is NOT for everybody. You seem to fall into ” not for me ” category. I can’t express how cool I am with that. No problem.

    Some dudes walk on flat ground, some climb mountains. Different strokes and all that.

    50 years old, huh? What the fuck have you been doing for the past half century dude? The sand is practically done in your hourglass. If this is how you want to go out, the culmination of your life’s knowledge, wisdom and understanding, well…that sucks, but it’s your choice and your prerogative in the end.

    Just go easy on the haterade.

  24. @stuffinbox

    Blax,SJF,Rollo,Myself and many others have far more experience than you,to bad most of your target audience is out chasing poon on a saturday night,getting the experience we have.

    Rollo is younger than me.

    I’m not a PUA and don’t have a PUA target audience.

    I’ve been married before.

    You assume much. You listen little.

  25. ” Just last night a women who has never slept with any other man other than me was in my bed. She earns more money than do most readers of this blog, and I’ve never given her a dime.”

    Lol. I’ve worked hard and long and I didn’t do it for the hell of it. I’d match this chick financial worth for financial worth and she’d get her financial feelings hurt.

    Lol, but it’s not about that really ( I just hate money comparison yapping… U don’t know shit about muh situation or what Teachers have TAUGHT me )

    Pussy, pussy, pussy.

    U realize that it’s a requirement to be classified as female, right? Billions of them on the planet – but let me tell you about my special grain of sand….

    X you seem to have a real problem concerning how you are perceived. Sounds like sour grapes. If Rollo doesn’t know as much as you say, why do you care what he thinks so much? Pro Tip: That shit is telling.

    Cellophane, again.

    The woman/women I sleep with/slept with don’t give me self worth. I am GOOD. I don’t talk of N counts and the like because it does not really say anything about who the hell I am. Every guy reading my words has a dick. What I do/did with mine is not of consequence ( except for illustrative purposes or course..).

    So think about it. A mature man pining away over youthful pussy and harems, while denigrating men that chose to take another path in life, and garner the skills to be successful at the endeavor.

    I got news for ya, harems are harder to get as you age without, SAY IT WITH ME: Paying For It.

    But hey, you are grown. I’m older than you are. I’m not hating on your choices, just pointing to the flaws I see. In the end, free will.

  26. Rollo may be younger but he has spent more time paying attention to what matters.I have been listening to you,the things that you feel are important,have proven for me to be the trap.
    Am I to believe,that” daddy game and guru game” are not PUA in some way? Why do you try to sell,banging virgins,threesomes,orgys Etc. as freedom and happiness?

  27. @Blaximus, you mentioned that you don’t want to argue with me. And yet you keep trying to engage me. But I don’t feel that you are engaging what I am actually writing. It seems you are engaging lots of presumptions. Perhaps if you quoted what I actually say, and refute what I actually say, it would be more engaging.

    I have never said that I have anything against men being married, or living that lifestyle.

    Do you think that I ever said that? If so, why do you think that?

    What I have said, is that if a man is not fucking young ass, he does not understand how to fuck young ass, and therefore has limited understanding of himself and of women.

    You might disagree with that, and that’s cool. Disagree with what I actually say. Not with what you assume I’m saying.

  28. @ stuff-

    ” Rollo may be younger but he has spent more time paying attention to what matters.I have been listening to you,the things that you feel are important,have proven for me to be the trap.
    Am I to believe,that” daddy game and guru game” are not PUA in some way? Why do you try to sell,banging virgins,threesomes,orgys Etc. as freedom and happiness?”

    http://treasure.diylol.com/uploads/post/image/522550/thumb_jesus-says-meme-generator-jesus-says-you-re-a-winner-a49f4d.jpg

  29. @xplat wrote:

    “I believe that Rollo is ignorant of his own and other men’s sexual potential.

    I believe that this can be harmful to the man who could otherwise learn and cultivate ambition.”

    This seems rather myopic and one-dimensional. What ambition? Raising one’s SMV to attain pussy nirvana?
    Or is a man better served understanding how SMV operates as a minor, but necessary auxiliary agent within his own life’s greater (married, single, pLTR) ecosystem?

    NASA Project Team Lead: “WTF just happened to our Jupiter probe?”
    NASA engineer to project team lead: “I reprogrammed it to land on Europa. I figured we can learn more about Jupiter from there.”

  30. ” Blaximus, you mentioned that you don’t want to argue with me. And yet you keep trying to engage me”

    Good point.

    Done.

  31. This seems rather myopic and one-dimensional. What ambition? Raising one’s SMV to attain pussy nirvana?

    How on earth can anyone come to the conclusion that raising ones sexual marketplace value is myopic and one dimensional?

    Does the quality of the women you can attract mean so little to you? Has it such little bearing on your life satisfaction?

    I’ve said it before, and it may be arrogant of me, but I’ll say it again.

    I have a very difficult time believing that if the world changed overnight and suddenly everyone’s wives were down with it, and suddenly the very hottest women on the planet had the hots for you and you alone (every reader here), that you would not eventually learn to enjoy and be more happy with that situation.

    Life is improved by intimacy with attractive young women. To me, that is an undeniable fact.

    To me it is only denied by people who can’t imagine getting away with it. Or getting it at all.

  32. “What I have said, is that if a man is not fucking young ass, he does not understand how to fuck young ass, and therefore has limited understanding of himself and of women.”

    Some of us, including Blaximus, heard you loud and clear the first time.

    And that is a simple straw man fallacy. And it seems to be the story you are sticking to. And that is also what is called virtue signalling.

  33. “Life is improved by intimacy with attractive young women. To me, that is an undeniable fact.”

    Life is messy. I’m plenty messy but I don’t have time for more of being messier than I already am.

    In other words, I don’t want to use all my entropy on strange pussy. (Entropy= lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.)
    But that is me and I don’t plan to evangelize–convert or seek to convert (someone) .

  34. “How on earth can anyone come to the conclusion that raising ones sexual marketplace value is myopic and one dimensional?”

    Last time I checked, red pill awareness and game is 90% raising ones sexual marketplace value and the other half of it has never been one-dimensional. And that is 100% what this blog is about. Come along for the ride.

    Once again, you start with false premises.

  35. @EC – Who are you talking to? You seem to think that you are paraphrasing me. And yet I’ve explicitly stated opinions exactly contrary to the words you try to put in my mouth.

  36. @ Blaximus

    If in an alternate universe,LOL,a high value attractive experienced married 55 yo male that has had bus loads of foxey young poon.
    Suddenly for some reason started chasing this stuff again as if his identity existed on it.Would you think he had an identity crisis?

  37. @Stuffinthebox.

    You really have no interest in engaging what I actually say, have you?

    You’d really prefer to have a conversation with some figment in your head?

    Identity crisis?

    Is that the only motivation that you can come up with for being naked with a young woman?

    You are only five years older than me. And yet you assume. ASSUME.

    ASSUME!!!!

    That MY motivation must be due to a crisis of identity.

    Jesus.

    Can you even remember how great if feels to be with a young woman?

    It’s just biological man. That doesn’t go away with age.

    If it does, then you have the option of TRT. Testosterone replacement therapy.

    Having a libido really increases life satisfaction, especially when one has young lovers.

    Not only. Not everyone needs young lovers – and it’s not the only good life prescription.

    But it’s pure denial to say that the motivation for sex with young hotties for an old man is about crisis.

  38. Fempowerment

    Yes, women have too much power and must/will lose power.

    “Many a MGTOW will simply suggest men no longer play the Game, that isolationism is the way to go, but this only serves to eventually concede power to the Feminine Imperative. You don’t get to check out of the Game even if you refuse to play it.”

    What? MGTOW don’t give a shit about the FI. Association with women = spending lots of money. Don’t associate = problem solved.

    “As I’ve mentioned countless times, the change needs to take place by appealing to the hearts and minds of Men by making them Red Pill aware from the bottom up, but moreover, we need to live out that awareness in our own lives and lead by Red Pill example.”

    What? No change will take place based on the feelings of men. The system will collapse because a matriarchy (socalism) is unsustainable. Until then, protect your money and learn how to shoot a gun. This talk sounds like the neomasculanity dribble.

    The blue pill illusion is an illusion suffered by UMC+ men. They think they are not subject to the dysfunction and ruin of “fempowerment”. To a degree they are. The women they are with determine that they cannot do any better….they do not wish to lose the social status they have. So they settle….the men think they have “power”. Just because your women DECIDES not to pull the trigger of the gun at your head doesn’t mean that THE GUN ISN’T THERE.

    WHERE? Where is your power? Game? Is game your power? Putting on a clown or tough guy act is your power? Bullshit. THE GUN IS STILL THERE. Can she take your house? Can she take your kids? If so….then you have no power.

    The “burden of performance” remains….but you pass………for now. However, this doesn’t work for the average beta male. The worker….the builder…the footsoldier…etc. Hypergamy always ups the ante….forever.

    The current effects are driven by women. The drop in marriages and birthrates are driven by women and their choices. The feelings of men don’t factor. MGTOW doesn’t factor. The course is set. The captain of the ship is a dumb bitch and the crew is going to watch in horror as the ship of western civilization smashes onto the rocks.

    IMO

    Thank god for alcohol.

  39. @xplat wrote:

    “Does the quality of the women you can attract mean so little to you? Has it such little bearing on your life satisfaction?”

    The assumption, of course, being that I have not/do not currently attract “quality” (highly subjective and situational term, BTW) women.

    I have and do.

    Pussy and the company of women do give me a specific form of satisfaction; but I do not let them run or impact the other 80 percent of my life.

    In fact, do you know what gives me even greater satisfaction than sinking PinV in a 22-YO DTFer (true btw)?
    Noticing the recent upticks in my investment and retirement portfolios.

  40. To be totally honest I lost 25 cents in the park once in this shell game,this ones honey this ones funny and this ones money,and ever since I have been wary of any inconsistencies.

  41. EC – you know nothing about what percentage of my thoughts and energy go towards women.

    And I’m convinced that you don’t want to know. You will never ask me. And if I show you evidence that you are incorrect, you will not be able to process it.

    You are talking to a figment of your own imagination.

  42. @Ajax, I assumed nothing about your current sexual status and who you can attract, other than that it could be improved, and who you could attract could be improved.

    I think that’s a fairly safe assumption. I’d wager money on that and come out ahead more times than not.

  43. @ jbsptfn

    ” However, after I read another post of yours, you seem to be too into this “looks matter a lot” philosophy.

    Social Kenny, a guy that you are friends with, had some good entries about this on his blog:

    Link 1: https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2015/06/16/do-looks-matter-the-final-say-on-looks/

    In this link, Kenny says this:

    Quote”Guys who believe that looks matter, are usually the ones who can’t get laid to save their life!”Quote

    Link 2: https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2014/02/01/do-looks-matter-the-truth/

    This is an old argument.

    I don’t weigh in usually, but quoting Social Kenny makes me want to opine.

    Looks are an individual thing at the core.

    Anecdotal example: A couple of weeks ago I attended a wedding. At the reception, I was seated at a table with about 6 very pretty women ( ummm HB7 and higher…) and they were highly aware of the men’s dress and grooming. All of the men were wearing suits and tux’s, so these girls were surgically dissecting their appearances. There were a couple of guys that the girls all came to a consensus about, as to whether they were ” hawt ” or not. So I queried them as to what they found so attractive.

    * Complexion ( clear, healthy looking )

    * Shoes – stylishness, color choice, finish ( shine )

    * Haircut – Complimentary to facial structure, lack of ” too much product “. Freshness of cut ” That just out of the barbershop look ” ( no one said ” salon “..lol )

    * Suit – fit and finish, cut, jacket and sleeve length, material weight, and drape.

    * Shirt – color ( white was bad, off white or ivory was better..) French cuffs and cuff links were a win.

    * Tie – Man made materials instant loser, Silk better, color richness and pattern, knot style, and oddly enough..pocket squares did not have to match the tie, but needed to be in a similar color family.

    * Deal closer: Cologne fragrance.

    The consensus at my table is that I was, indeed killing it…LOL. My edge? Salt and pepper hair and a very close cut beard ( they generally did not like beards ). My suit was tailored because..well… I have a bit of a belly to camouflage. It vanished 100% in the suit. Money well spent.

    The thing is that of course you can pick up a woman in jeans and a t shirt. And yes, personality goes a long, long way.

    Not ever really in dispute.

    But there is a lot to be said concerning good grooming and a nice suit and accessories. We guys don’t pay attention to the details that much. Chicks LIVE for them.

    Oh, and guys wearing skinny suits did not make the cut, unless they were extra handsome.

    You can gauge the difference by women’s reactions to your dress. When chicks are lazering you and rubbing the material, what more proof do you need?

    And Yareally, before you say it, it’s not about James Bond, lol. I’m the same guy regardless of dress.

    So my advice is that if you’re trying to attract women and be social with them or pick them up, good grooming and a nice, light fragrance goes a very long way to success. Don’t be a slob, if only for yourself.

  44. @ stuff

    ” @ Blaximus

    If in an alternate universe,LOL,a high value attractive experienced married 55 yo male that has had bus loads of foxey young poon.
    Suddenly for some reason started chasing this stuff again as if his identity existed on it.Would you think he had an identity crisis?”

    Without a doubt.

    He should have his thyroid levels checked asap.

    Lol…

  45. @ EC

    A man can ” get ” them at college age, but they can smell desperation and thirst.

    They are already leary of your intentions.

    they may fuck you if you don’t make a huge deal about them being young and hawt. Many see older males as ” experienced ” and want to try it out.

    Just don’t be ” that old guy chasing young tail..”.

  46. …oh yeah, young pussy hasn’t changed since I was young. A 20 year old that can’t fuck ( we magically assume that they can ) is the same now as they were then.

  47. @xsplat

    I concede,That was a cold shot and yes I can remember all those lays,i am starting to forget most of their names.
    My life is so full of women that depend on me for income,food,shelter,guidance,fixing broken things,and their identities and status are attached to mine.From an aging mother,a tight and well trained wife,three daughters and a granddaughter.
    This ” burden of performance” ads much value to my life,all the birthdays aneversaries,growing pains and shared experiences are things I wouldn’t trade for 1 shot at the young chicks that check me out every day.
    I know i’m a lucky bastard,that can support all these women.
    Like the sheiks support their harams,and families at the same time more is required than libido,I just don’t see the need to work that hard.
    It is my belief that free pussy was something I had when I was young dumb and full of cum,then as my understanding grew i had to assume more responsibility to keep a balance and be happy in life on lifes terms.
    It is not that I can’t have it it truly is that I no longer need it.

  48. @xplat wrote:

    “@Ajax, I assumed nothing about your current sexual status and who you can attract, other than that it could be improved, and who you could attract could
    be improved.”

    Absolutely. I have no argument with this.

    Just as my physique can be improved. I’m in pretty good shape now but if I were to decide to sit in my office knocking out pushups and looking at myself with my shirt off for extended periods of the day — my employer might have a problem with that.

    The end result of which would negatively impact the larger part of my life outside of my guns and abs.

    Women contribute to my overall happiness, but I do not make them responsible for it. I used to and found out the hard way that they really, really HATE that (and are not wired for that burden to boot.)

  49. It’s surprising to me how much resistance many guys have even to the very idea of being with much younger women. It must be about an identity crisis! It must be about hormonal imbalance! It must be about way out of whack priorities! It must be this or that or that or this – but not about how great and life improving it is to be naked with young women.

    People absolutely can’t stand having ambitions that seem out of reach, and will go so far as to deny other people the possibility that others have and are reaching good ambitions that they dare not have.

  50. I forgot this one – it must be all about bragging!

    Any dissumulation available will be grabbed at.

    Never mind that it could actually be about the fact that men are biologically hard wired to get pleasure from being with attractive women, and that it’s been scientifically well studied (as explained on the OK cupid blog) that men of all ages rate women between the ages of 19 and 24 as the peak of attractiveness.

    Never mind the FACT that men are throughout their lives most attracted to young women.

    Dissimulate as if your very ego’s depended on it guys.

    I could not POSSIBLY be talking about my real life experience, and sometimes brining in the real life experiences of many many other men, in order to make real valid points about real sexual options. And real human desires, fundamental to the male condition.

  51. “It is not that I can’t have it truly is that I no longer need it.”

    I wish I would have said that.

    Oh, wait, what? I did.

    Xplat is simply explain bragging.

    Good luck with that. No one truly comes here to comment if they are actually complete in life. Except, perhaps, Blaximus and Rollo.

  52. Men are hard wired to perform. Easy pussy is a by-product of that.

    Good egos can be at peace with the dissimulation (pretend, deceive, feign, act, dissemble, masquerade, pose, posture, sham, fake, bluff). Good performance doesn’t need to dissimulate, unless it does.

  53. @xsplat
    Don’t get your shorts in a bunch now sonny,I believe you.Keep doing what you are doing and you will keep getting what you are getting when it stops working for you do something else.
    That is your agency.
    This is mine.

  54. xsplat – interesting points you make. I guess I somewhat disagree with your paraphrase of Rollo’s redpill sentiment, yet I too am perplexed by some of his sentiment but for slightly different reasons that what you have alluded to. I don’t think Rollo has really counseled anything wrt to ignorance of his own and other men’s sexual potential, except if you mean that by way of Rollo presenting his ideas as the man’s sexual potential being contingent on his “burden of performance” as dictated by the expedites of the sexual marketplace. If you meant it that way – then yes – that perplexes me as well. Presenting it that way tends to drive the sentiment here on this site towards a sort of covert butthurtness wrt to the contingencies of the feminine, is the way I would put it. This comes out in weird ways here – the handling of the egalitarian concept for instance. It’s like there is this weird covert sentiment here that cooperation and collaboration can’t be real things (unless you be suckered into believing so bluepill-wise) because women won’t allow that to be so – see what I mean? – it is ludicrous to fashion cooperation and collaboration as unreal. Cooperation and collaboration really are part of the human experience – just open your eyes – it’s all around us all the time.

    It is really not like “a man’s burden of performance”. Everybody has life challenges and that is what they truly are – challenges – not burdens. Now it is true that woman (and often other men too) respect men that meet their life challenges with exuberance and gusto. This is only natural. We like the upbeat and not the downbeat (unless we’re talking about the musical groove, man, then yeah – I enjoy that type of chill downbeat, among other music types). Now, the thing is, women are very much about status, and desire a man they feel is superior (this hypergamy thing), and they are largely judging this superiority wrt to abstract elements – and a man who meets his life challenges with exuberance and gusto are precisely the abstract elements that speak to the potential for life-success, and superiority that way. What man would want it otherwise though? Women inspire a celebration of the abstract in this way – good stuff. Now women are often faulty wrt to this discernment and that is only natural – this is heady abstract stuff – and skill wrt to discernment is probably going to develop over time, as wisdom is gained.

    Men on the other hand need to learn discernment too, but instead it is because we tend to go straight-away for the sexy sexy. But alas a man will find as life progresses that there are many many other traits he should look for, wrt to investing time with another, and so, as life progresses, he too must learn discernment, so as to avoid life-sucking drama for the sake of the sexy sexy. What is he looking for in that respect? I think he is looking for a discerning (and therefore potentially wise) woman! Now …. in that eventuality – now both the man and the woman have something to be inspired by (besides the sexy sexy man-wise), and an inspired life is indeed more fulfilling.

    xsplat – if you are coming to the young women you are banging in that way, they as discerning your life success by way of you already meeting your challenges, as an older man, with exuberance and gusto, and you discerning their growing skill wrt to discernment (besides your appreciation of the sexy sexy), because, after all, they probably are on that road to growing discernment because they chose such a chill older man after all, then it’s all good I suppose.

    Also, this type of mutual respect dynamic can work just fine I think, with older people of the same age, in new relationships or in LTR’s as well (but LTRs do have their ongoing challenges it is true).

    xsplat – I guess when I was a young man, the gushing I was making reference to, was among young women who were not very discerning imo and seemed not to be overly concerned with that (unless maybe I tend to under-value myself like you have alluded to – quite a few people have told me that, and I don’t really get it, – so I gotta consider whether that is clouding my vision and as such leading to “gush-freak-out” – not sure). As a young man I found that gushing to be a redflag (maybe rightfully, maybe not). There are older women that are still like that too, and they still freak me out too. So I guess I can’t really say anything much about your particular circumstance because I am not pursuing much younger women (I’m 56, was married for 20 years, divorced about 10 years ago, a good divorce all round, and much more wrt to other women and life events besides the marriage, before and after – blah blah). If I was now pursuing younger women I guess I would naturally only be attracting the more discerning type at this time anyway, and all would probably not be weird then. I could see that it very well could work out, that for that demographic, many such women might be fine with the loose harem thing, with an older man. Didn’t think about that too much – maybe it is a way to go. Don’t know unless I try.

    Anyway – I really like older women closer to my age (by the sentiment of many here I guess I’m weird). I find many of these older women still to be sweet and feminine (and they got more life experience under their belt and so often they are more interesting too – and I’m a very curious guy so interesting is really important to me). I don’t really have any problem getting sexually turned on by an older body if it is someone who excites me, character-wise.

    xsplat – I think I’m pretty much done with the redpill anxiety by now, and want to move on beyond that now. For me the key is to understand what I find inspiring about women, and to focus on that. I like to think of that question as “what do I find inspiring about women beyond sex, procreation and mothering of children”, so as to really focus on this precise issue at hand. Turns out … there is still plenty to like beyond that, that is much different than what men offer friendship-wise (but with women, the sexual overtones are always there, even in friendship, which is cool, as long as the man is not weird about it, denial-like, within a male/female friendship – best to be genuine about the sexual overtones imo). I have taken a hiatus from sexual relationships for a whole now, to sort through all this redpill awareness – I think I’ getting close to being done with that. But I’m pretty sure I will always want to continue to keep my domicile to myself from here on in (that part is great!).

    xsplat – thanks for the exchange – you have given me some more ideas to ponder (especially about undervaluing oneself – gonna give that some thought).

  55. @KFG, I’m reading the blog where my real lived personal experience is repeatedly called a lie in the comments by the blog Author, Rollo.

    If that happened to you, would you not come to the conclusion that the author had a mental map that was not capable of understanding how it is that you manage to truly live the life the way you do?

    I don’t think I can be more clear.

    People have a very, very strong resistance to hearing a word that I am saying. Let alone believing it.

    That’s because of an ignorant mental map. No two ways about it.

  56. @xsplat: ” I already answered this exact question.”

    I know, I’ve read the entire thread. That’s why I asked.

    “If that happened to you, would you not come to the conclusion that the author had a mental map that was not capable of understanding how it is that you manage to truly live the life the way you do?”

    Indeed. Yet I am older than you, have been forthright about consorting with women who are as young, and younger, than those you claim for yourself, and have not had that experience.

    Indeed, on those few occasions when he has commented on my claims they have been in support, as has been most of the commentary.

    Ergo, I am left to conclude that any issue he has with you is about . . . you.

    And that, as per your own question, you must be reading some other blog and mistaking it for this one. Your mental map does not resemble the territory I inhabit.

  57. @xsplat:

    “once they are in their 30s, they are probably more attractive than the young 4s and 5s that would be desperate enough to have sex with a guy in his 50s.” –EC

    Of course there are the exceptions.

    1. Xplat, one thing you and Wild Man have in common is that you post the same diatribes in my comment threads every time you show up.

      I feel no need to qualify myself to you. I have over 500 posts and 2 books that spell out exactly what my premises and observations are with regard to intersexual dynamics.

  58. So lemme get this straight….Xplat has a bug up his ass from Rollo bagging on his exploits on some unnamed blog. And he wants to tell Rollo’s commentariat what they already know and dis them for what they don’t need?

    You got a rant that is kind of personal. While a blog tries to be universal.

  59. G’night fellas.

    My old old , over 20 wife is smiling and tossing that magnificent mane. Time to put her to her favorite test.

  60. @Blaxximus

    Dude, I don’t know if you’re aware of this but you just tee-d someone up for the next line — which goes brilliantly with Rollo’s MGTOW comment.
    May I?

    “Women seem wicked … when you’re unwanted….”

    lol

  61. Rollo – the thing is – you really never wanted to engage in any exchange with me. At the beginning of my commenting here it was just you answering my questions by linking to some older articles of yours in which I was apparently supposed to find the answer to my precise query. But your writing (like alot of authors) is a self-referential set of concepts, and so often don’t address queries outside of the edifice of such narration (and you never did fully addressed my questions, but made out, tone-wise, like you did). So I asked further questions that went unanswered. So then I gleaned more by way of how you handle the commenting here (what commenting you correct, what you don’t). I make some calculated assumptions about that and query further – you start getting kinda angry at me. Then you start resorting to dismissing me out of hand (you a bluepill idealist, you got vision clouded by religious ideology, you got magic power crystals, etc. – there’s been quite a bit of this).

    Rollo – it is not so much a matter of you qualifying yourself to me, it’s like could you please be more clear about your ideas – like the article for this thread – the lack of clarity on some things just continues and continues. You said:

    “My position on these and many other questions of the sort is usually met with simple observational analysis (as you’d probably expect). I don’t necessarily have a problem with women voting or even having access to legal (relatively safe) abortions. What I have a problem with is the latent purpose behind the reasons that led to women’s decisions to vote a particular way or the latent purposes that brought them to having that abortion. For the greater part, any dubious ‘right’ women feel they were somehow denied in the past usually comes at the expense of men being liable for decisions they had nothing to do with.

    What I have a problem with is an expectation of lowering the standards of the game, thus fundamentally altering the game, to better accommodate the variable strengths and weaknesses of women – up to, and including, changing the very nature of women’s environmental realities that would endanger the wellbeing of both sexes. What I take issue with is the expectation of making men liable for the decisions and consequences of the rights and freedom of choices we’ve reserved for only women to make (almost unilaterally Hypergamic choices) that are not in men’s best interests.”

    So what exactly is your sentiment with respect to the vote for women? You make it sound like you regret that that was ever allowed for (but I can’t really be sure by the style of the writing). Do you so regret? If so, just say so dammit – but then that just naturally is going to call into question your views wrt women’s aptitudes for decision-making. And then where does that lead? That will be the consequence of being more clear with what you mean – and rightfully so – then we can get into deeper discussion, and further the discourse – see what I mean? Just say what you mean already. To me, it’s like you prefer to complain from the position of fence-sitter. Since you really don’t offer any prescriptions, that could otherwise clarify – your writing can be disparately interpreted (and often is). Your writing is rife with this type of slipperiness.

    Wrt to the example of your writing I provided above, perhaps you think the power brokers made a mistake wrt to the vote for women without a corresponding mitigation of other women’s rights, back at that time. If that’s what you think – then say so …… which could lead to ideas about what can be done about it now. See what I mean?

    As well – you are not clear about how much of this Feminine Imperative is bottom-up, if at all, or is it all top-down, in your opinion? There are big differences wrt to what could be realistically expected wrt to downstream gender relations, (and personal relations within relationships) depending on how that question is answered. See what I mean? Just say so already so we can further the discourse. If you don’t know – then say so, so the readers here can get a sense of your conception of what the current limits of redpill philosophy are, so the readership can get a clearer idea about where the controversies within redpill may lie. See what I mean?

    Name calling me isn’t going to change the fact that you avoid dealing with alot of questions that are cogent to your material.

    Rollo – I don’t know xsplat beyond exchanges today – so I don’t know nadda about your guys history. But this “man’s burden of performance” thing I think is key to your fence-sitting stance issue. Why shouldn’t a man instead see this as his life’s challenges? A man is going to choose how much of his life is contingent on what women may want – he decides – it’s his life – so in many ways he gets to choose the challenges presented by the life he chooses to fashion. I think there is less to complain about than you make out (but yes, much to understand, even beyond what you have presented so far).

  62. @ Rollo T.

    You never thought I was A.I. to begin with…but by calling me that; banning me…and then quickly unbanning me…you managed to elicit a confession.
    Very nicely played!

    Props!

  63. Blaximus

    So I queried them as to what they found so attractive.

    And no doubt the women really did and do find those traits attractive…

    The difference, and the head swerve guys have to deal with more importantly, is not in asking them pre sex what they find attractive… it is post sex… because a lot of those “attractive” guys aren’t ending up in bed with those girls, they are with guys in the other camp.

    Like her friends will ask, why she banged “that guy” and she won’t have much at ALL to say “IDK, he’s kind of funny” Or “something about him”… Or “he’s confident”, “he’s different when you get to know him” Stuff like that.

    Watch what they do, not what they say and all… didn’t you see my recap of the plight of the better looking dude upthread?

    Physical attractiveness doesn’t mean much if the guy lacks the other traits.

  64. Interesting swerve… Not down with the xsplat comments, just trolling really. What point is there to argue with folks about?

    However the guys who keep on about the difficulties and frail motivations of older guys being with younger got girls… Head scratching? I’m 48, Wala is mid 40s… There are many others. Age, It really is not an issue picking up young hot girls. Limiting beliefs…

    The biggest issue is target acquisition, putting yourself in an environment rich with young hot girls… They aint in quiet whisky bars and model railroad shows…

    If you seek it out, you – yes you Starbuck – can find them. Without paying for anything, hell without their even knowing your name.

    You will need tight game though, but you will always need tight game.

  65. Oh no! The feminist imperative agents or their FemI-bots have been unbanned…

    Maybe in reality you are just the half-time entertainment

  66. Rollo, you just said that you think that I am a deluded fool who thinks that he is getting real affection when in fact I pay for it.

    Again and again I’ve talked in great detail about my real life experience, and you either pretend to not have heard it or forgotten it, or twist it around again and again to that women are intimated by me, afraid of me, and “being paid for” by me.

    And you have no idea where this is coming from?

    Do you expect me to believe that?

    I could tell you the events that transpired tonight, in great detail, and judging by your past reactions, you COULD NOT HEAR OR BELIEVE A WORD OF IT.

    Of course I have no choice but come to the conclusion that the reason you can’t believe my clear and cogent descriptions of my real personal experience is because they are so outside of your frame of reference as to seem unbelievable.

    And of course that means to me that your frame of reference can’t handle the truth.

    Now tell me again how you don’t know where this is all coming from.

    1. @Wild Man, would you like me to repost that same comment where I linked every exchange referencing every point you’ve ever made here? Would you like me to compile a new list of comments where everyone on TRM has given you countless cogent counter arguments to your never ending hope that you can in some way force fit your new age blathering a of egalitarianism into the Red Pill to so we can all solve the existential crisis you went through at 12?

      Everyone on this forum who’s familiar with you knows you only come here to repeat the same horse shit, that’s why they don’t bother with you, and that why I banned you before for spamming this forum.

      @Karen, it’d have been a compliment if you were a bot, that would’ve excused your spamming here. I also find it curious that you conveniently appear every time Wild Man decides to repeat his fortune cookie egalitarianism pitch in order to provide him with exactly the logical reinforcement hopes other commenters would give him but still haven’t after a year and a half of essentially c&p ing it here.

      I recall the first time I banned you for spam was the first time I banned him for the same.

    2. @xplat, please copy and paste the comment where I stated you were an old fool purchasing sex. You’ve accused me of Teaching men but not seducing ‘young ass’ I was just curious as to what you define as seducing because last you posted here you ran the gamut about how you keep your (I presume Vietnamese or Thai) harem girls in line despite your age, with a combination of your financial provisions, daddy attitude and their need for both.

      I’m curious as to how that qualifies as seduction?

  67. MGTOW does not have to mean never interacting in society to promote Red Pill Knowledge. Going Galt does not mean being a homeless pauper, necessarily, either. I was MGTOW before it had a name, or was a thing, so my motivation was personal and practical and not really a social statement or a political strategy. All I ever wanted was to minimize my risks and make my life as manageable as possible, and that turned out to be going MGTOW. My perception was that intimate romantic relationships were not worth the cost or the risk. Why buy a cow when I’m lactose intolerant? As for going Galt, I also figured out before I ever read Ayn Rand that, if I don’t produce it, the Marxist’s can’t steal it. If I focus on lowering my cost of living I avoid having to earn taxable income. So, I’m a lean mean Galting MGTOW machine.

  68. ” . . . the guys who keep on about the difficulties and frail motivations of older guys being with younger got girls…”

    . . . don’t include EC.

  69. Lol.

    Benjamin Franklin is a master seducer for a particular subset of women. He makes an amazing wingman, despite his advanced age.

    1. The real irony of this is that just a few weeks ago we were defending the notion that older men actually have an advantage with ‘young ass’ against Emily’s scoffing at as the wishful delusions of old men.

  70. “Karen, it’d have been a compliment if you were a bot, that would’ve excused your spamming here.”

    And it ought to be an embarrassment that she can’t pass the Turing Test.

  71. Jesus Rollo, did you not just read me make a comment about how I’m spending time today with a young woman who has never had sex with anyone other than myself and is self supporting and has never received a dime from me?

    She’s also been madly in love with me. We’ve known each other for over a year. She found out about other girls twice, and broke up with me for that, terribly heartbroken. But now we’re fucking again, as of today.

    I have said several times that I don’t believe you can or will hear that. I don’t where you developed this insane filter from.

    You go ahead and quote me where I said the things that you just said I did.

    Your reading comprehension twists everything I say. And the stuff that you can’t twist you completely ignore.

  72. “xplat, please copy and paste the comment where I stated you were an old fool purchasing sex”

    “From what I remember though, you’ve been ‘buying’ young ass in SEA for some time now. I’m not sure how that constitutes ‘seducing’ young ass”

  73. I work with and do promos with ‘young ass’, in fact, new talent, every month. My readers know what I do for a living; I have ownership interests in 2 liquor brands and I do very lucrative contract work in the gaming (as in gambling) industry. If I chose to apply myself, I could bang any number of them.

    I believe you X. I have no reason not to.

  74. Help me! I’m trapped in a cage!
    Really hate to say it, xsplat, but a lot of us don’t have the Game necessary to run harems with quality-looking girls in the prime age. I sure as hell don’t, and don’t think I ever well. Based on how little I liked being a young-20s guy, I don’t think that’s something I really want to re-visit.

    Marriage optimizes my life, IMHO. It doesn’t disqualify me from talking about men-women dynamics, either. I am stuck living with a woman every day for the rest of my life. It’s pretty important, though my knowledge is more about one specific woman than women in general.

    I can also still observe how women interact with their husbands and boyfriends.

    Being red pill seems necessary for a quality marriage, though. Women are quite the pain in the butt.

  75. “So by this definition, if I buy a hooker here in Nevada and I request that she call me Daddy while we fuck I’ve effectively ‘seduced’ her?”

    WTF?

    What does that mean?

    By what definition?

    Are you literally insane? I just told you that I’ve never given her money, you said you believe me, and then now you talk about hookers in Nevada.

    Tilt!

    1. So you’re not paying for this girl then? Cool. I still don’t see what the argument is about.

      You seem to think my writing is somehow invalidated because I’m married, but it seems that what I’ve written about completely affirms your lifestyle.

  76. RT opines (oooh….sound’s to O’reilyish…might have to try again)

    @Karen, it’d have been a compliment if you were a bot, that would’ve excused your spamming here. I also find it curious that you conveniently appear every time Wild Man decides to repeat his fortune cookie egalitarianism pitch in order to provide him with exactly the logical reinforcement hopes other commenters would give him but still haven’t after a year and a half of essentially c&p ing it here.

    I recall the first time I banned you for spam was the first time I banned him for the same.
    >>>>>>>>>

    For my posts to constitute spam, I *think* that there would need to be some type of potential financial gain for me as a motivating factor.

    However, since the only gain I derive is one of emotional sustenance from affording all of you the pleasure of my company and the benefits of My Timeless Wisdom…your characterization of my brilliantly incisive commentary as “spam” is *quite* incorrect.

    *Smiles happily*

  77. The Princess evinced the following countenance:

    *Smiles happily*
    >>>>>>>>>>>>

    OK, I admit I got my brains f*cked out last night…he was sooooooooooooooooo yummy!

  78. Rollo – no please don’t do the rehashing by way of linking to past articles for which you counsel – “see the link for this article for the answer to your question”, or link to a past comment, which contains a link, for which you say – “see the link for this article for the answer to your question”, or by way of linking to a past comment for which you counsel – “see the link for this past comment for the answer to your question”, for which said comment contains a link to a past article for which you have counseled – “see the link to this past article for the answer to your question”. Like I said above – that type of recursivity cannot address alot of the queries put to you because your writing (like alot of authors) is a self-referential set of concepts, and so will not address queries outside of the edifice of such narration, and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous at best.

    Like I said above – you haven’t been fully addressing my questions in the past, so just to repeat the exercise but yet again is just going to be a waste of everybody’s time – so please don’t do that again.

    It would be much better if you could just answer the damn questions. There were plenty of questions in my comment above. Why don’t you start with that – and we could go from there.

    You are also insinuating that other commenters properly addressed my questions – that is a no Rollo – that didn’t happen. If you think that happened you got a comprehension problem then. For instance, alot of that commenting exchange was stemming from your misuse of the egalitarian concept, because you go with the inaccurate definition fashioned by the PC-misappropriation of the word, and refuse to acknowledge that. Your commenters followed your lead on that. It is not too difficult to tease that part – start with – are cooperation and collaboration real forces within the human social dynamic? If no evolutionist or biologist would doubt that for other species and life in general – pretty clear the humanity isn’t going to be exempt. And of course I kindly engaged with other commenters here at much deeper level than that, so as to sort out the source of their obfuscation (which is an interesting phenomenon, as an aside, in any event). So what you talking about Rollo?

    Jeez man this is getting tiresome – just answer the fucking questions already, directly, without pretending to hide behind the edifice of the narrative you have otherwise presented here (come’on – it’s not like I can’t see you there). Come’on dooo it.

    Rollo – as well, fuck off on the spam shit – pretty cunty move there buddy. I’m not a fucking moron that would be cowed by such nonsense.

  79. “So you’re not paying for this girl then? Cool. ”

    It took you until now for that to register? And it registered with a question mark.

    Wow. I predicted just that – that you could not hear. And then after pretending to hear you come off with a literally insane comment about hookers, that meant nothing at all, and then you pretended as that didn’t happen.

    And then you asked you quote where you accused me of being a deluded fool who confuses affection for paying, and I did quote you, and you pretended that didn’t happen.

    And then you asked to quote me where you are getting these ideas from in the first place, as it has nothing to do with what I’ve actually said about my lifestyle, and you pretended that didn’t happen.

    If I was wrong about you not being able to seduce young women, then my theory of why you insist on twisting every I say and pretending not to hear the stuff you don’t try to twist was wrong. You have some other reason.

    Maybe some day that can come to light.

  80. The Wild Man says:

    Rollo – as well, fuck off on the spam shit – pretty cunty move there buddy. I’m not a fucking moron that would be cowed by such nonsense.
    >>>>>

    I think the Rational Male believes Us to be acting in concert…and it is like soo not true.

    Conspiracy theorists definitely fall under the ambit of the irrational…

  81. Curious. Interesting. Thought provoking.

    Personally I never wanted a chick to call me daddy, that wasn’t my daughter. A couple of latinas/Brazilian girls have çalled me ” papi “, but that was more cultural.

    Older man fucking younger chck that’s calling him daddy….

    Plenty to process there.

    The mind is forever fascinating.

    As an aside re: libido. Speaking for myself, my sex drive has consistently been an issue in life. It is ridiculous ulouly high and always has been. Even now.

    It has been a true burden to control, but I became more proficient at controlling it in my 20s.

    It is a combination hormonal/mental thing.

    Boy…in my late teens I tried to bang every girl I could. It was an obsession.

    But when my head started to drive me to places I really didn’t want to go and prod me towards risky and dangerous behavior, I forced personal change for ( IMO ) the better.

    Obsession can take a man to great heights or drive him to unimaginable lows. I had always welcomed maturity in the belief that I would have all of my shit together by then.

    So far, so good.

    There is an undeniable attraction of all men to younger women. But is it reasonable for older men ( twice the age or more of the woman in question ) to become obsessed with younger chicks?

    I am not speaking about ” preference “. I am speaking of fevered pedestalization. The Nirvana thing. Catching deep irrational feels.

    I guess it is all a personal choice.

    I knew a 70 year old heroine addict. He had been an addict for 50 years. He had overdosed a dozen times and survived. He once said that not only was he addicted to getting high, he was obsessed with it. He would never get treatment. He was OK with his habit killing him. Chase the dragon until the very end.

    Mastery is wonderful. Mastery over self is essential. The latter can off times prove more difficult.

    TL;Dr. – check yourself before you wreck yourself.

  82. YaReally Sentient HABD Walawala Scray Forge scribblerg and the gang

    Several days of FRs for the second half of Blitz Week – Post 1

    Sunday through Tuesday: Solo night game/street game all three days, but brief outings – state not great, weather not great..but happy I forced myself to get out there and do a few approaches each day to keep the habit going..it almost started to feel “normal” to be out solo.

    Not a huge amount to report:

    -Found one small bar that was absolutely rocking on a Sunday evening when everything around was dead. Filled with a bunch of early-mid 20s dolled up girls..including a couple of 8s. I don’t know if that was a one-off birthday party or something (it really didn’t feel like 7pm on Sunday evening in there) but it’s clearly a good place to know. Did a couple of openers and the HB7s blew right open but I let it fizzle out (was joking about being served first by the bar tender because he was hitting on me)

    -Monday it was pretty late at night by the time I got out and the bars etc were all closing and it was totally dead. Still managed to get in one open with a late 20s HB6. It’s funny how IOIs work..in a smoking area outdoors..as soon as she walked up a creepy homeless looking dude opened her with Hello just as I was about to open and she flat out ignored him..then 20 seconds later she sort of kept edging away from him and closer to me (no one else around) so I took that as an IOI and I opened her with something situational..she didn’t blow totally open, but she did engage enough to say she was waiting for her Uber..again, I took that as another IOI, but before I could do more, her car arrived. Not much happened but it was interesting how different her reaction was to that guy and me.

    -More of the same on Tuesday..what was interesting is just how much of a difference solid lasering and EC makes. Opened a very cute arty brunette early 20s HB7 in a coffee shop and a 30 year old Asian HB6 in a smoking area. Very similar in that both of them actually didn’t hear me properly at first but my subcomms were good enough that both of them actually leaned in and came right towards to get me to repeat myself. When I did it again with strong EC/slow voice, I got a laugh from the HB7 and full engagement and total blowing open from the HB6…then I let it fizzle out dammit. I clearly need to memorise some personal routines like YaReally suggested for this scenario.

    -Overall takeaway from this Blitz Week is that I need to focus on getting OUT there and doing more opens and continuing more conversations in cold approach. It’s amazing how easy it is to fool myself and rely on online dating as a buffer. Even social circle stuff – it’s a great idea for me to build up a solid social circle and use that to game (or just stuff like becoming a community college part time lecturer or bartender) but I can’t use that as a buffer to AVOID cold approach where the skills really get tested.

    -It’s as if my brain will do ANYTHING to justify NOT going up to a couple of pretty girls in a nightclub and say hello and have a conversation..

    -Oh and I opened a late 20s HB8 blonde..very attractive. In the airport security line. Was teasing her about how she looked like she was in a hurry and was going to miss her flight etc and she was like “Oh no, don’t say that” = emotional spike. It’s just fun generally.

    -One thing I’ve noticed with this last couple months of online dating: I’m used to flake rates of 50%, but it’s now getting close up to EIGHTY percent for first dates. Basically I have pretty much started to schedule dates on the assumption that they are not going to happen. And this is across age groups (the younger ones are worse than the 40+ crowd but not that much worse..more that they are even less communicative). And this includes girls who WANT to meet me (who offer their numbers first online, who suggest meeting up and/or say they like my profile).

    -I’m trying to understand why this is..part of the reason is definitely the increasing “Tinderisation” of the dating market that YaReally talks about..but it’s not the only reason. Not to go from 40-50% flakes to 75-80% so quickly. I think it’s also because my frame is getting a lot stronger and I’m chasing a lot less. So now I’m much more of a take-it-or-leave-it proposition for girls now in a way that I never used to be..I only meet where I want to meet where the logistics are good. I won’t rearrange to suit the girl. I won’t chase the girl or accommodate her schedule. If she messes around I will soft-next – that kind of thing. So it’s a lot easier for them to find other guys…and flake on me. At least that’s my theory. But then I should be getting STRONG bites from a few girls but that’s not really happening..

  83. YaReally Sentient HABD Wala, Scray Forge Scribbler etc – Post 2 with the last FR from Blitz Week

    FR from Wednesday: afternoon was the Cutting Girl and evening was going out with my wing

    20 year old brunette HB6 from online – bit chubby, great tits, decent features

    -She was pretty nervous at the beginning – she even texted me right before we met saying so. Plus she was very stiff – really quite rigid for the first few minutes when I kino’d her and tapping her feet nervously in the bar etc. But she’d made a real effort for a mid-afternoon casual drinks – plenty of makeup, black dress etc and she slowly calmed down over the first hour. Good compliance with me moving her around and sexualising about her ass etc early on.

    -Conversation was okay – she wasn’t super robotic or weird and she was decently engaged but not totally. Just a little bit off. Like the conversation didn’t just flow naturally and I had to use up ALL my stories to keep things going for two hours which rarely happens. okay but not super-flowing. Not as flat as the late 40s MILF but still the vibe was kinda flat – like the stories didn’t hit as much as they normally do with most girls..by emotional impact..some meds can do that right?

    -Not drinking cos of meds. Cut herself (I saw scars on her arms)..forcibly admitted to mental hospital..multiple attempted suicides..voices talked to her..shadows and visions..delusions of text changing (so like when she looked at street signs, she would see words saying “kill yourself” or similar). Charming girl clearly. She did say she understood now that these things were delusions. It was a bit weird because I ask most girls about whether they believe in the supernatural and have some solid routines relating to ghosts..but with this girl it mostly brought out her mental illness.

    -Strong EC and pupil dilation..but after first half hour or so I feel like I lost the “edge” of sexual tension..started thinking more about the content of words and less about EC/tonality etc (although during stories was still good because I on autopilot).

    -Did decent push/pull – pushed on lack of cooking skills, pulled on how she reads lots and is into poetry etc qualification – not like most young girls (I really did think it was quite cool that she was into the Beat writers etc). Not sure if I got balance right.

    -Overall the first half hour to an hour..till I got the kiss (peck on lips) I think sexual tension was decent (although convo never flowed well)..she was willing to come in for kiss and did it willingly etc (never tongues).

    -Then it sort of faded in the second hour and she seemed less keen to come in and kiss although she still did. Also could feel the compliance dropping.

    -Dropped in some sexualization – about checking out her tits etc and got a minor laugh but not much. Didn’t want to trigger ASD..but maybe I overdid it and didn’t sexualise enough? I did play the questions game for a while and she was fine with it but she never engaged with the sexual questions (matter of fact answers and she never asked any).

    -End of second hour I could tell the energy and vibe were dropping but I was running out of stories..I decided to try to extract anyway for the pull – trying my new extract to home method (the wallet left at home thing). Worked like a charm..she was a bit nervous in the elevator going up..saying she’d gone shy. But no resistance. Very happy that this extraction home is coming together well.

    -Once I got home was sort of similar to late 40s MILF at home. Worse in some ways actually. She didn’t engage at all. DIdn’t want to kiss. I got her onto the bed but she literally went rigid like a statue with her arms stiff by her sides (she resisted a little bit but not much..she complied..but like that in rigid fashion). I kept telling her to calm down and relax and if she wasn’t comfortable..we could go etc. No reply. Few minutes later I said same thing again..that it’s up to her if she wants to stay or go but I liked hanging out with her and found her sexy. She actively said that she wanted to stay for a while.

    -She was fine with chilling on the bed and chatting..if I tried to get her tits out or get her hand on my dick, she resisted strongly. She started talking about how she doesn’t like kissing much (actually this happened a while before, in the bar itself towards the end of the two hours). I tried lowering the vibe by reading her favourite poem to her..she wasn’t that into it..just kind of spaced out..while we cuddled on the bed.

    -Then I thought I’d try a freeze out (this wasn’t classic LMR as far as I can tell – she wasn’t turned on and into it but fighting ASD in the first place) which may not have been appropriate but I may as well try. Utter silence for 5 mins while I played with my phone. She just stared at the wall sitting on the other side of the bed..not even at her phone. Then I tried escalating again and got another no (and some BS about how I was a “nice guy” (lol) but she’s not comfortable around new people etc – I gave in to logic talk and even asked her if she was a virgin etc). And then she asked to go so I walked her out.

    -Did aftercare and sent her a beta text about how I had a lovely time etc and got an appropriate reply saying thanks etc so I should be protected just in case she goes batshit with an FRA..it was just a weird vibe when she was in my bed and when she got uncomfortable and left.

  84. YaReally Sentient HABD Wala Scray Scribbler Forge etc – Final Blitz Week FR

    Evening Out With Wing

    All of the above happened before dinner so I went out after that with a wing – first I spent some time alone wandering around the bars and then he joined me. Sentient – cold approach FRs just for you and HABD!

    Quiet bars and didn’t have much time..but great feeling to be out doing stuff. Really glad I pushed myself and waited for him to come out – he actually texted when I was thinking about going home. It’s like..after 4-5 days of going out alone and forcing myself to do even a few opens each day, having a wing’s energy (and this is a cool guy) feels like a superpower..I opened quite a few sets with no AA and we had some good convos across several bars even though it was pretty late by the time he joined me and things were dead.

    One early two set in a smoking area – 5 mins of “joint” 4 person talk before they finished smoking and left..I could have probably risked asking for a number close and got it (although we never really got clear who was going for which girl – need to work on wing tactics) – dammit for not doing it. Also a touch dancing monkey there..but first set of night getting warmed up etc – forgivable.

    Some other minor chats – in one bar (the Latin dance bar I sometimes go to alone and often mention in my FRs) we were near the water jug and I just started stopping girls and telling them they had to pay me to drink from it..one pretty mid-twenties HB7 blew right open and then I could just FEEL what YaReally talks about with her RAS shifting..like when I opened her and for the first minute she was engaged with me but then my wing said something and I let him have his crack. And his Game is okay, but nothing great – he mainly relies on being a tall 22 year old jock with big muscles and a six pack and talks a little and escalates (nice guy, good vibe, but just really young). And I literally could see as I went quiet, her RAS shifted totally to him as he talked, even though he wasn’t saying anything special..but he’s good looking and her RAS had nowhere else to turn. And then it faded a bit and she rushed back to the dance floor..(again, need to work on wing tactics with this guy).

    Most interesting set of the night:

    Outside another bar..didn’t get in as nearly closing time..2 girls mid-20s (HB7/7.5 Latina/brunette respectively or flip the rating round for guys who like Latinas – basically two really cute girls) smoking outside..wing opened them an instant before I did – just as we walked away from the bouncer telling us we couldn’t get in because it was nearly closing time. They instantly blew open – really cool and fun girls. By this time I was pretty tired and generally zoned out and just wasn’t half as much on the ball with these two as I could have been – wasn’t thinking at all – could have so easily bounced them or closed them in some fashion (and again another wing rules failure).

    Within about one minute of chatting (as a four-some), the Latina had already told us that the white girl was married and I started teasing them saying lots of girls just wear rings to ward off unwanted attention and they were all like “No, really I’m married”.

    Within about two minutes of chatting, the white girl offered to take us inside with her. I hesitated for a second because I *knew* the bouncer wasn’t going to fall for it (Julien actually talks about these logistics in SHIFT somewhere) – he was standing only about 10 feet away, there was no crowd and he’d *seen* us open the girls after we didn’t get in. And in that few seconds of hesitation, the white girl actually grabbed my wing’s arm and then grabbed my arm to take us both in. Then (my memory’s a bit blurry – I wasn’t drinking but was really tired) she literally handed me to the Latina saying “I’ll take this one…you take this one..”

    Obviously these are all good signs but I’m not sure if that was cos the white girl liked my buddy or she saw the Latina liked me. Anyway, then she and my buddy walked a couple steps ahead and the Latina and I were behind (the Latina immediately grabbed my arm and held on to it, like we were on a date walking somewhere). I held her back a little as the other girl and my buddy talked to the bouncer and (predictably) didn’t get in..and we chatted for like a minute or two. My memory for this kind of stuff is usually excellent, but I literally cannot remember what we talked about. I just have this impression of her deep brown eyes and our eyes just locked on to each other and talking utter nonsense…my buddy came back and joined our conversation (the other girl was calling her Uber or something) and he was kind of part of it but not really – it’s like the Latina and I only had eyes for each other and he was sort off to our side saying things but not really part of the conversation.

    I teased her about not looking Latina and I didn’t believe she could speak Spanish and I was like “Okay, say something in Spanish”. She goes “What?” and I was like “Say [my name] is a sexy name” and she looked a bit surprised saying “I’m not saying that!”. But she was still giving me the DDB look and hanging on my every word..I was teasing her a bit and I tried again a couple times “Go on..say it just once..nope, I don’t believe it..you’re not a REAL Latina..” stuff like that. After a couple minutes of conversation..I pretty much self-ejected..I turned to my wing and said “We need to go” (twice! because he didn’t move the first time). Arghhh!

    As we left the Latina shouted at me “Adios Amigos” (proving she can speak Spanish!)..and we walked off. My wing told me it was really obvious she was into me and when he looked back she kept looking at me walking off..DAMMIT. I’m so unused to this kind of thing happening that I just freeze up.

    It was really interesting though..the vibe around the whole thing. Sure, I was teasing her, but I really said very little (my wing also spoke and so did the girls). It was less than 5 mins from beginning to end. And the feeling was really strong. And by some fluke (maybe because I was so tired), I had a real James Marshall type low-energy vibe with really solid laser and slow speech (but saying way more provocative and teasing/challenging stuff than he does).

    By some fluke of vibe I was basically coming across laid back James Marshall style in this convo – low energy, good EC and intensity..esp in contrast to my high energy buddy. Interesting feeling – in those few moments – I “felt” really authentic especially in contrast with my higher energy buddy…just like I had the right energy level and congruence as a successful guy in 30s..not TRYING to be higher energy like my early 20s buddy..strong James Marshall vibe. It’s like I’m getting in touch with MYSELF…and I was tired.

    Need to practice more with this cold approach. I’ve lost count of the thousands of online messages, hundreds of online phone numbers and dozens upon dozens of online first dates it’s taken for me to become at least decent on dates, comfortable with escalating, and only VERY recently with arranging logistics and managing the pull home.

    I need to do that volume of practice to get good at cold approach – especially (as Scray says) focus on escalation and bustamove. It’s embarrassing to admit..I think I have got exactly five phone numbers from cold approach in 3+ years since my LTR ended (two I never followed up on because I was going travelling, one never replied, one I never texted because I got two numbers from a two-set and the other one texted *me* first..and that last one who texted me – a HB7 college student – became one of the best FWBs I’ve had with the most incredible sexual chemistry between us for about 6 months).

    It’s really embarrassing actually counting them up and writing it out here. When I’ve had so many lays and dates and phone numbers from online in that time period. And I’ve DONE enough cold approach and had enough IOIs from a bunch of girls to have got so many more numbers (yes, I know numbers are not that important..but if I can’t even get THOSE, it’s not good you know?).

    But very buzzed off the whole evening..felt more energy and fun from that last set than from the 2.5 hour date with the Cutting Girl

  85. YaReally Sentient Agent P, HABD and all who replied to my networking question at the conference – thanks a lot. It’s coming up in a while.

    I have taken careful note of all the tips and will post a “Field Report” of sorts after the conference.

    Basically the key points seem to be:

    -Build some social proof by being visible and asking questions and offering perspectives during the panel discussions/sessions and parlay those into conversations and connections after.

    -Engage the junior/mid-level types to gather intelligence and build long term relationships – “insta-date” them and change venues and basically build experiences together because shared experiences = building relationships, rapport and bonding.

    -Spread value and good vibes to everyone and focus more on the breaks and social events than the actual sessions – be honest about being a newbie and ask for help and tips (not necessarily a job – just advice cos people love giving advice – and it means they invest more in you). Introduce people to each other/merge sets, be honest and authentic and try to break through the “work facade”. And try to connect to some of the socially well-connected (not necessarily most senior) people there and leverage off them.

    -Senior guys easier to catch them in the bar/hotel or brief downtime moments rather than in the heat of the moment at big social events or during the sessions. Presumably the focus is more on getting them to remember my name and maybe get them to agree to an informational meeting (not asking for a job). If I can provide any value obviously I will give it…

    Oh and I’d better watch the Jet Set episode of Mad Men..I got distracted after watching the first season and never want back to it..

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