The Price of Nice

Price-of-nice

Well, dammit, here we go again. Just as I’m mid-way through another in-depth post I get stopped by something I can’t ignore. The above ‘post’ has been making the rounds on Twitter and more than a few in the ‘sphere have asked me for my take.

I probably would’ve just blown this off along with the few hundred other incidences of Beta guys (really Average Frustrated Chump in this instance) bemoaning the same lack of cooperation on the part of women to play along with their investment in the old set of books, that was however until I read through the predictable ‘Nice Shaming’ of Mark Pygas here.

“Good guys” are the absolute worst. If you’re going to go on an insane rant every time a woman tells you ‘no,’ you’re not a good guy.

Tumblr user Fenrufenrifenny recently spotted a flyer posted all around town that shamed women for not giving the “good guys a chance” and choosing “scum” men. Just a brief warning, it will probably be the worst thing you’ve ever read.

Proxy male femsplaining aside, no Mark, this isn’t worst thing I’ve ever read from a Nice Guy. In fact, just three years ago the ‘Nice Guys of OK Cupid‘ blog/hashtag made a point of running these Good Guys up the flagpole for the exact same frustrations of dealing with women in the most deductive, old rules way they’ve been taught to deal with women by their own words and conditioning.

You aren’t an original Mark, Hugo Schwyzer beat you to the Nice-Shaming-As-Beta-Game 4 years ago. And just like Hugo you make the same predictable assumptions about men expecting sex for niceties in an era where women exploit and advertise that men doing more chores and making women’s lives easier will lead to sex.

You see shaming Nice Guys for playing by the rules every woman has told him he ought to play by – since his single-mother or feminized father mentioned he should respect women by default to him since 5 years old – is the height of Hypergamous hypocrisy. Every time a woman, or a Vichy Male femsplainer, tells a guy “just be yourself‘ or “women love men who respect women” or in some other way convince him that women’s intimacy is best achieved by being the sensitive, understanding and supportive Beta they’ll need once they can no longer attract an Alpha asshole, all you do is reinforce the Nice Guy you now hate so much.

You see, you don’t get it both ways. You can’t shame and heap derision upon a Nice Guy for believing the same Old Books horse shit you’ve taught him will earn a woman’s favor and love. You don’t get to call him duplicitous when he believes all the “just be yourself” and “in the end women really want Nice men” tropes he’s been fed by the media mouths of a society that’s founded on women’s Hypergamy.

You may think this is some new development, but Nice Shaming has been going on for at least the 4 and a half years I’ve been blogging:

When truly nice guys (80-90% of the masculine sphere) read a line like “Nice Guys are the real jerks” something snaps in their heads. Black is white, up is down and Nice Guys are Jerks. Most Nice Guys have been playing the self-internalized Beta Game, identification scenario out for so long that to read something like this is akin to blaspheme. “Great now all these women I’ve been trying to be so nice too (like they all say they want) really think I’m a jerk?” One would think this would be a moment of clarity for the Nice Guy and he’d realize the truth of what his ‘misogynist’ Game-aware friends had been trying to enlighten him about for so long.

It’s almost like I have to revisit this Nice Guy paradox ever two years or so:

The only way to garner true appreciation, true valuation, truly inspired displays of affection, from women is to covertly imply the risk of losing a high-value Man. Whether the man is even truly of a higher value is irrelevant, only the perception needs to be reinforced for her. Risk of loss is all that factors. Risk of losing an investment in optimizing hypergamy is weighed against her own perceived sexual market value and the effort needed to reinvest in another, potentially higher SMV man. Risk of loss is why her imagination furiously spins the wheel in her head.

That sounds horrible, but the truth often is. Women’s lack of appreciation for the more compassionate natures of men, and their consuming regard for rewarding men that appease their hypergamy is so well proven it’s become predictable enough to develop techniques and behavioral modifications to exploit it (i.e. Game). Most guys would like nothing better than to honestly play the loving, white knight, romantic who women bemoan a lack of in the world. Yet for every sonnet composed, every provision met, every compliment delivered and every well planned candlelit dinner conversation, there’s a woman feverishly fucking her Alpha bad boy in his low rent apartment for fear of losing him to the competition.
However, all that reviewed, it’s good to return to the issues that never really die off, and particularly so in the case of Nice Shaming because as we progress further into a social order that’s become increasingly more comfortable in openly, proudly, embracing Hypergamy the more poignant messages like the one in this posted letter are. Really it’s nothing new for a guy steeped in Blue Pill conditioning to be frustrated with the new set of books on display right before his eyes, but as Open Hypergamy becomes more and more unignorable in real-space as well as in media and open expressions of it, the less men will vent these frustrations so publicly.
The time to worry wont be when guys post open letters like this in dorm hallways, the time to worry is when that ceases altogether.
Women’s continued inability to really understand why a Nice Guy would ever be so frustrated as to post a notice like this only highlights an obliviousness that serves their Hypergamous imperatives. In other words it’s not in women’s Hypergamous interests to understand or sympathize with a guy who’s brought their sexual strategy out into the open.
The reason Nice Shaming still persists after decades is that it actually serves the Feminine Imperative. If you read through the Twitter responses to this note they are all identical to, or variations of the response I’ve outlined in my previous ‘Nice’ guy posts for almost 5 years now. And if this doesn’t convince you that women have a vested interest in not getting why a guy would post such frustration, you can just read the real-time posted response to it:
price-of-nice_2

Dear Sir,

If you’re watching some girl you like getting hurt by another guy STOP WHINING ABOUT IT AND DO SOMETHING. Don’t leave some anonymous note on a dorm wall. If you know someone is being hurt DO. SOME. THING.

If you want to play the “good guy” you need to rethink your intentions. If you’re only doing it for gratification, then you aren’t being the good guy. Did Batman give up on Gotham because people weren’t thanking him for saving the city?

You know what I really want? I want respect. I want people to respect that I’d rather not walk with a stranger in the middle of the night. I want people to respect that I can defend myself. I want people to respect that WOMEN CAN DO THINGS WITHOUT A GENTLEMAN TO HELP.

You want to be a gentlemen and a good guy? Start with changing the way you and other men see women. We aren’t fragile things you need to defend. We’re people. Keep holding doors open, keep being friendly, just don’t expect things in return; you aren’t owed anything by this world.

If you want us to be less afraid of the world, then change the world, don’t change us.

The obliviousness to the original message might seem staggering until you consider that it was likely typed out by a woman with a self-impression of female empowerment. The idea she’s addressing is that it’s the Nice Guy’s fault for not stepping in to “do something” while simultaneously claiming that “women can do things without a man’s help”. That alone would be enough to illustrate the mindset that would respond to a Nice Guy bemoaning women’s duplicity about ‘being Nice’, but she continues to miss the point that the dutiful ‘helping’ he’s offering isn’t help at all, but his disillusionment with his Blue Pill conditioning.

It’s likely he’s oblivious to it, but he’s publicly taken a step into Red Pill awareness and in doing so reveals women’s Hypergamous duplicity. Now, that is what it is, but that step into Red Pill awareness is something that makes women very uncomfortable when they don’t control the narrative about their own Hypergamy. It’s one thing to make Hypergamy ‘open’ in a commercial or in a book by an empowered woman, but let a man reveal it in his perspective and he’s “bitter” or it’s an “insane rant” by a Nice Guy who’s only Nice because he thinks it’ll get him laid.

As I was saying, in the future I expect to see less Nice Shaming as the machinations of Hypergamy becomes part of men’s popular consciousness. The result, like most others brought on by feminine social primacy, will be men taking women at their word – “women can do things without a man’s help” and they “aren’t fragile things you need to defend” – and they’ll get the men they deserve; men who will understand that niceties aren’t in fact exchangeable for appreciation, intimate or otherwise. Their attentions, courtesies and help will be reserved for the women who actually deserve and reciprocate it rather than due to it being some default chivalry that’s expected of them. And they’ll abandon the strong independent women (and even the ones who look like them) to their fates, while they cry about the lack of self-sacrificing ‘real men’ to love and help them when it’s convenient for them.

It’ll take a while. Obviously the same Nice Shaming from a decade ago still manifests like this occasionally, and the predictable “women don’t owe you sex” indignation is still the reflexive response. But as the old exchanges of the old rules are cycled out for the cruel, but accepted, realities that the Red Pill outlines, women will get exactly the men they deserve. Men who will give them respect based on their real personal merits and only offer niceties to the ones who wont spit in their faces or accuse them of sexual harassment for doing so.

As it stands now, Nice Shaming serves as a filter for women’s Hypergamy. The guys who Just Get It don’t post notes like this. Guys who get it learn from that frustration, they adapt, they experiment, they adjust and they develop Game to exploit the real intersexual rules in play, and they don’t make grandiose displays of the real game.

5 1 vote
Article Rating

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

Speak your mind

637 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Is This Thing On?
Is This Thing On?
5 years ago

The funny bit is women really don’t see the truth of the women at work issue. They really do believe they are productive players in the work world. When I think of all of the make-work jobs I’ve seen women do it really is astounding.

stuffinbox
5 years ago

Not so surprising considering they”women” have been saturated w/ the same fem bullshit as the men.It is just that the male psych is more damaged by living a twisted lie and for the female this is second nature.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum Great ideas about the meetup.com and all.. Hadn’t thought of that. worth checking into “PS – Sentient, your Happy Hour Game thing is pretty much what GLL seems to be running in that video discussed in the last post and he seems to have done pretty well out of it…” Yeah that’s kind of why I posted it originally, to me it was a very good focused example of “intent to get laid” and employed a minimum level of very accessible game to do it… the context kind of got blown out of the way. But the mindset when… Read more »

Chump No More
Chump No More
5 years ago

@stuffinbox “Really the problem isn’t that the nice guy is unattractive,the problem is his being attracted displays low value and this appears unattractive.” Being a nice/good guy is attractive to the beta-bux side of the equation but, unlike the lie all men are told, it doesn’t get you laid. You listen to what women claim is attractive in men and you hear, “likes dogs, good with and wants kids, loves his mom, good job, nice house”… all beta provider shit. You have to dominate & arouse them to get laid, and this is counter to everything beta, BP, nice guys… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

“the lie all men are told, it doesn’t get you laid. You listen to what women claim is attractive in men and you hear, “likes dogs, good with and wants kids, loves his mom, good job, nice house”… all beta provider shit. You have to dominate & arouse them to get laid, and this is counter to everything beta, BP, nice guys are told… it does not compute to them.” Just a word to say the Nice Guy thing is accelerated in marriage, BP and Churchian doctrines all pushing Happy Wife Happy Life and choreplay… leads to slow death of… Read more »

IAS
IAS
5 years ago

@Sentient: is GLL making himself look dumb on purpose to disqualify himself as a provider? He looks like he is doing some stuff right even with calibration in that one. He was “aggressive” in the open, but then when he is sitting down he lays back a bit (although he keeps the left arm close to her). At a certain point he kind of pokes her a few times, eventually when she is giggling a bunch (IOI) he gets closer to ask about something she is wearing (I think). She giggles some more and eventually he is holding her ankle… Read more »

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
5 years ago

kfg: “I think Madoka Magica was the last series I made it all the way through.”

Same, actually. Though to be fair I’ve basically given up watching things. Only so many hours….

I wasn’t expecting to like it, so that was a pleasant surprise. Talk about making something of a trivial concept….

theasdgamer
5 years ago

kfg @ http://therationalmale.com/2016/03/20/the-price-of-nice/comment-page-3/#comment-147939

Excellent comment about women’s contribution in the “workforce”.

Lots of women teachers and nurses. We could do without the former.

We couldn’t do without miners, ag workers, construction crews, or boots on the ground.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

IAS “@Sentient: is GLL making himself look dumb on purpose to disqualify himself as a provider?” LOL… IDK… I doubt it is on purpose. My view is that he is really just a simple minded former meat head, but honestly wants to help guys. The Good Looking Loser thing is pointing to his badly fucked up internals on top of a jock’s physical appearance. he did go to law school for a semester, so he isn’t a total retard. again – disclaimer – just shows the advantage of having intent and being physical early, poor verbal skill is not hindering… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@ sentient

he most likely wasn’t a guy running around kissing great gramma’s ass

I remember watching my grandfather chase my grandmother up the stairs, pinching her ass.

stuffinbox
5 years ago

@Chump No More
I agree,that this being ones MPO being framed as selfish and bad,while being sold by women,is also unacceptable to women.
A man that doesn’t make himself his first priority will suffer much injury under any circumstance.

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
5 years ago

@Sun “You think the reason she wrote what basically amounts to a Beta snub song is that’s all that’s ever approached her whale ass?” Hah, good thought. A girl like her will take any prop to her ego. Rejecting men who won’t raise their status is a way unexceptional women raise their ego. “I can tell you she’s not in any danger of being approached by me. Never was. Honestly she looks like the hambeasts I seem to catch eyeing me wishing I’d approach them these days.” I spent the first minute of that vid slack-jawed, then spent the second… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
5 years ago

@Forge

forcefully inserted into my phone.

Phrased like that I feel like we should see if SJWs will add it to their ever-growing list of things that constitute rape.

stuffinbox
5 years ago

867530nieieeene

newlyaloof
5 years ago

Could be wrong, but I think a whole section of comments is gone today. Don’t see some comments I saw yesterday. Anybody else notice this?

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
5 years ago

@stuff

comment image

kobayashii1681
5 years ago

“Blax, 40% of our labor force are females, so I’m sure plenty of things are serviced and built by women.”

😑😑….😒…😊…😁😁😁…😂😂😂😂😂😂…

Twilight zone…thy name is emily.

redlight
redlight
5 years ago

@newlyaloof

Could be wrong, but I think a whole section of comments is gone today. Don’t see some comments I saw yesterday. Anybody else notice this?

There were a lot of comments yesterday on the Plan B post including Ya nuking a poster with a Text Bomb, and the usual attention whoring

kobayashii1681
5 years ago

@kfg: “Women, on the whole, and Emily in particular, don’t even have any idea what it is that men do. They cannot see them. They have no idea that many of their functions even exist.” ‘Xactly! As Rollo has pointed out previously they’re completely oblivious to the sacrifices men make to make the realities liveable or even likeable… There’s no point in our brothers, here on RM or otherwise, trying to explain anything to Emily and her folk, about women…they really can’t internalise it…and to some extent it’s not their fault that they’re this way…and of course they take advantage.… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@SJF – Dude, his subcomms are shit in that video in my estimation. We disagree, fair enough. I’m unconvinced by your other commentary as I’ve already stipulated he’s smart and produces interesting content that i’ve followed for a while. None of that changes my impression of his subcomms in that vid. I also notice the same low energy, low enthusiasm vibe in his overall game. When I compare that to say Mystery’s infields or any of the RSD guys I come away understanding why Krauser’s numbers are what they are. We don’t have to agree but I think you may… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

Okay, that’s it, I’m convinced Emily and Kate are sock accounts Rollo uses to demonstrate the FI. It’s not possible for them to be this dense and solipsistic and self serving and cunty? Or is it… Been really busy with work and am playing some longer game with a former soft sugar baby who is reacting very nicely to dominance and is basically getting addicted to me. Turnaround was catalyzed by massive emotional spike from me hard-nexting her and putting her in her place. She’s a 9+ and is smart and interesting and unusual so she’s worth the freight. I… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Scribblerg “I also am now really clear that subcomms tell all about state of mind. Congruence is key to being really effective with women and if your subcomms are not congruent with your overt way of being, it’s weird.” Well this is almost right. Congruence is important and a well deserved Game tenet… but better than congruence is authenticity. Congruence can be faked, it is a veneer applied. It can be congruent but inauthentic. Authenticity is bedrock. It subcommunicates on a whole other level from congruence. With congruence their is still some hesitancy around the edges, with authenticity almost none.… Read more »

Tom
Tom
5 years ago

@Sentient

You’re forgetting something here.

The Dark Triad is important to women, as important as the Light Triad (what you’re calling the Alpha Triad.)

Especially Machiavellianism.

But it’s hardwired, and subconscious.

emilyy96
5 years ago

Note, I never said that you shouldn’t be nice or that niceness is a turn off. It totally isn’t. But niceness alone is not enough to make someone who is normally unattractive, attractive. As I said, reverse the roles. An ugly post wall woman being nice to you doesn’t mean anything. You’ll ignore her. As ever, almost everything we talk about here works both ways.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Tom I don’t think so: The dark triad [1] is a group of three personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.[2][3][4] Use of the term “dark” implies that people scoring high on these traits have malevolent qualities:[5][6][7][8] Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy.[9] Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, a cynical disregard for morality, and a focus on self-interest and deception.[10] Psychopathy is characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callousness, and remorselessness.[11] When Dark Triad is used, it is just the intersection of actualized Game techniques (i.e. the language of seduction… Read more »

TheOldOligarch
TheOldOligarch
5 years ago

Rollo, what’s funny is that some of my exes date guys like Emily’s boyfriend and they actively seek sex with me because of how turned off they are by their boyfriends. And well, prior experience and discretion. If he’s actually doing all that crap for her, I predict her cheating within a year of having a ring on her finger. Two tops. This being said, I forgot to mention that I doubt Emily seeing the niceness of some guys as a covert sexual strategy prevented her from playing along and extracting the benefits of the sexual strategy exhibited, which is… Read more »

Tom
Tom
5 years ago

@Sentient You will learn, young Padawan . . . Just because psychobabbling academics define the terms using moralistic language, and tend to emphasise the criminal and antisocial cases of people with these personality traits, doesn’t mean you should put yourself into their frame. And yes, we all know about unsuccessful Dark Triad criminals and freaks who have women lusting after them. But get this: Women are attracted to successful men with Dark Triad traits like all gettout. Field tested. SIWMOE. So why is this? I think it is related to the phenomenons Rollo talks about in his War Brides posts.… Read more »

Tom
Tom
5 years ago

Apologies, lost part of the post.

There absolutely are chicks who could not give a shit about passionate or authentic (dynamic does always seem to win out though, IME). And using J-C-conditioned terms like “lowest” (which implies a “highest”) reveals that you still have some red pill pain to process.

newlyaloof
5 years ago

Rollo,

“The more Emily’s fiancé ‘agrees’ to her demands the less attractive he becomes.”

Corrected version:
“The more Emily spends on this site, the less happy she is with her fiance.” lol.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
5 years ago

She simply can’t avoid just making herself look worse every time she replies. Really, the persistence of the stupidity would be impressive if it weren’t so cringe-inducing to watch.

SJB
SJB
5 years ago

An ugly post wall woman being nice to you doesn’t mean anything. You’ll ignore her.
.
If a woman, regardless of HB rating, holds the door for me or helps when I’m juggling an armload, I respond with gratitude–i.e. “Thank you.”
.
I will note that I’ve encountered more men who lend a hand on the spur-of-the-moment than women: women, especially young women, are so full of their entitlement they cannot assess the appropriate course of action for a civil encounter.

Pellaeon
Pellaeon
5 years ago

Well this is almost right. Congruence is important and a well deserved Game tenet… but better than congruence is authenticity. Congruence can be faked, it is a veneer applied. It can be congruent but inauthentic. Authenticity is bedrock. It subcommunicates on a whole other level from congruence. With congruence their is still some hesitancy around the edges, with authenticity almost none. Potato potahto. The definition you’re using for authenticity is the old school definition of congruence. I don’t know what the fuck you actually think congruence means. In my vocabulary, if there is hesitation, you are not congruent. Period. Personally,… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

An ugly post wall woman being nice to you doesn’t mean anything. You’ll ignore her. As ever, almost everything we talk about here works both ways.

Would a man bang Andrea Dworkin?

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2005/apr/12/gender.highereducation

Hell no!

Ozzie is ugly and picks up hot girls: http://www.rsdnation.com/ozzie/profile

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Tom uhhh faux condescension… not a good start. Look I know you want to LARP as a so called Dark Triad guy… spooky shit and all. but do try and keep up here Spencer. “Women are attracted to successful men with Dark Triad traits like all gettout” Yeah I agreed that the underlying exhibited traits of the Dark Triad were attractive, AND also that they are just basic game techniques. Curious you add the FI/beta qualifier of successful… and then get on your LARP box about who is more RP conditioned. LOL “guys who will stop at nothing to acquire… Read more »

Andy
Andy
5 years ago

“Really, the persistence of the stupidity would be impressive if it weren’t so cringe-inducing to watch.”

@Sun

lol. The worst part is that you can tell she thinks she’s wicked smart.

But here’s the real question. Would you fuck her?

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Palleon

The definition you’re using for authenticity is the old school definition of congruence. I don’t know what the fuck you actually think congruence means.

I’ll use Webster’s Old Skool Old Tyme definition if that’s ok with you, to wit:

con·gru·ent
kənˈɡro͞oənt,ˈkäNGɡro͞oənt/
adjective
1.
in agreement or harmony.
“institutional and departmental objectives are largely congruent”

au·then·tic
ôˈTHen(t)ik/
adjective
1.
of undisputed origin; genuine.
“the letter is now accepted as an authentic document”
synonyms: genuine, real, bona fide, true, veritable; More

Any other questions? Class dismissed then.

Mazrim
Mazrim
5 years ago

Hey I’ve been poking around some of your comments on Reddit (bored at the cubicle you might say) and read an old post of your’s-Hear Me Now, Believe Me Later. This seems to be in direct contradiction of your recent “Ghosting” post. Am I being a concrete simpleton, or has there been an appreciable evolution in your view since the Hear Me Now post?

scray
scray
5 years ago

this chicks digs jerks thing is one of the biggest manosphere misdirects ‘nice guys’ don’t have boundaries they enforce and they also give themselves away cheaply (their time and attention and emotional investment). that’s what losers do. a ‘jerk’ isn’t going to do these things so sure….a ‘jerk’ is better off than this guy. because when someone disrespects a nice guy, the ‘nice guy’ will keep it bottled up and go with it. but a guy who is SUPER polite to everyone he meets and SUPER nice can also have a backbone and a) not waste his time and b)… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
5 years ago

@Andy

The words “grudge fuck” have crossed my mind.

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

Sentient – yeah I’ve done the RSD video silent thing – it’s very apparent (especially for Tyler I think, but to some extent all of them) how most of the conversations at night time tend to happen with their arms around the girl. But I hadn’t noticed how consistent it was till you pointed it out. They don’t talk about it much at all, but this video here is the closest I’ve seen – it’s from Tyler talking about how to open girls by grabbing their hands and taking them with you – like, immediately. And it has some similar… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

“But here’s the real question. Would you fuck her?”

“The words “grudge fuck” have crossed my mind.”

Guys guys guys… this is playing right into her hands… FI all the way. It is a rigged game though Girl shit tests guy to death and IF the guy stomps all over them she gets laid by a “hot” guy who passed her tests… She can’t lose!!!

Women.

Andy
Andy
5 years ago

lol, oh god. It feels good to laugh.

Fucking the mentally retarded is a bit too far for me. But I won’t judge.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum “One thing I wondered both with this girl and the one he pulled home in the previous video: are the videos in real time? It looks like they are but did he really pull them HOME in about 8 mins/12 mins in the two videos? In this day game one I didn’t even hear him clearly say what he was doing – he said something vague about her place being on his way home..” Yeah those are real time. He has others on his site. All the same pattern, single girl he isolates. There is one, he says he… Read more »

stuffinbox
5 years ago

On the gasoontite note;
Most men have been trained to be polite and extend niceties to women,on the other hand it can be expected that when the female is nice she most definitely wants something in return.
Leading to her belief that when a man is nice he wants something.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum

and my theory on RSD not really explaining kino much now in their (free) stuff is perhaps they have just gotten to the point it is a natural part of their game…

Pellaeon
Pellaeon
5 years ago

I’ll use Webster’s Old Skool Old Tyme definition if that’s ok with you, to wit:

con·gru·ent
kənˈɡro͞oənt,ˈkäNGɡro͞oənt/
adjective
1.
in agreement or harmony.
“institutional and departmental objectives are largely congruent”

Thank you for proving my point.
If you hesitate, then your actions are not in harmony/agreement with your intentions.

Ergo, congruence means that there is no hesitation in your actions or subcomms.

Striver
Striver
5 years ago

Authentic… men are not going to get laid for being authentic. Plenty of nerdball men, invisible men, passionate about their interests, willing to be authentic. Women don’t care. Women want “Brad Pitt.” Women want a type. Women tend to see men in black and white. They don’t see the colors of men, don’t care about the details. Take Mad Men as an example. Two of the better players were Don Draper and Roger Sterling. They are opposite types. Draper was a made-up man. Horrible childhood, but so horrible he could escape with few regrets and re-make himself. Completely made-up, fictional… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
5 years ago
Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Striver

You may be having trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality. You do know Mad Men is fiction right?

Until you sort this out, probs best to hold your comments back.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Pelleaon

Congruence can be faked. Authenticity cannot. You are stubbornly missing this.

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

My First FR — Hit a local Karaoke bar last night with an old friend who never gets out.. Disclaimer: As a man of 44 who passes for 35, I’m in a different bracket than many of you.. no I’m not trying to bang 22 year olds.. Also have teenager at home which causes logistics issues.. So not to make excuses but I wasn’t really there to close.. Last night was really about getting my friend out, and getting hammered. Mission accomplished. Turned out to be quite a few groups of HB 5-9 females of different stripes as the night… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum

Good RSD clip. Good stuff to keep in mind for moving girls intra venue as well… Compliance testing moves early on – bounce to bar, to other seats etc.

enrique
enrique
5 years ago

Blax, remember the post about a year ago, from the black chick, showing a pic of a black dude walking on the INSIDE of the sidewalk, black gal, walking on the OUTSIDE (Atlanta I think) and she was posting it with the whole, “smh” stuff, seeking the “only real [black] man in the room”…man she got Red Pilloried (to our gender’s credit), Torn the FUCK UP by the (largely) brothers, posting shit like, “they are prolly coworkers, he owes her shit!” and “unless it’s his sister or wife…” Brothers woke up long before white and hispanic dudes (my white and… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

@Tuffluv – great FR and great start. You seem to have a good grip on what needs to be done and you’re taking action which is the main thing. Not much to add except you should check out YaReally’s archive and particularly the posts where he talks about the basic resources for beginners to read/watch (too much theory is bad but good basic resources are the framework – you say it’s your first FR but not sure how much reading you’ve done) and watch that and then just focus on action and post FRs here for us to help. Oh… Read more »

newlyaloof
5 years ago

@Tuff, damn that was a great FR. Good for you to get a taste of the exuberance that Scribb often mentions with this game stuff. Keeps a man young!

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

@Culum Thanks man.. Yeah the young one’s do like me, but it weirds me out a bit. Not that I don’t want them, it’s just the maturity gap. Sex involves some level of non-sexual intimacy with me.. simple as that. I have learned a ton here, but haven’t read much of Ya, except his comments here. He’s definitely a great purveyor of poon protocol.. I’ve got most of the tools.. execution. @enrique Brothers got that way because their families and women were destroyed and stolen by the state long before ours (beginning in 1960 with the war on poverty). That… Read more »

YaReally
5 years ago

@Sentient “I’m not a GLL booster, he has some good stuff and seems like an honest dealer, humble and with good intentions.” I’m sure he’s a super nice dude I would love to grab a beer and hit on girls with. But I don’t care about that, all I care about is “is what he’s showing guys going to help them or slow their progress (or hinder them)?” Like I told ETA I’d love to see some good GLL vids, whatever his fans think are the cream of the crop that show versatility in his skillset and social competence etc.… Read more »

YaReally
5 years ago

bigass post in mod

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

@newly

Amen.. but as scibb says, Dancing don’t count.

I’m on my way though.. fer sure.

YaReally
5 years ago

OR NOT. lol I still have PTSD from CH’s week long mod queue, it’s still surreal to see my posts actually show up when I post them.

YaReally
5 years ago

@Sentient @Culum @ETA Julien on subcomms over verbals looks money etc, exercise at 7:00: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo0d10Tl_Go&t=7m Same thing with getting physical and showing sexual intent in your kino. Like I say GLL’s initial opens in that 15 min vid were fine, it’s everything after that where he dropped the ball because the girl is subcomming that he’s making them uncomfortable and he doesn’t calibrate to it. Also a good lesson around the 2 minute mark about women living in “temporary truths” (in that moment it’s real and truthful to her, but then her emotions change and now something else is true… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Tuff

Nice… “Suddenly, it all comes clear. This girl’s got game.”

Game as we know it was backwards engineered by watching the hottest women… more proof. everything SHE did to you, you do to them… Open, kino, jealousy plot line etc etc etc

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Tuffluv Good field report. Glad you had fun. Two points perhaps: First. The drinking thing is going to be your stumbling block. Sure you are introverted and you think you need to drink to overcome your fears. You don’t. Pushing forward in the face of fear will make you better. Buffering your fears by drinking will hold you back. You could have had an even greater time and learned more and felt better about yourself if you only had two drinks the whole night. And having only two drinks the whole night is entirely possible for you. Especially because you… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ Rollo ” Is it just me or do the men here have the same experience that women will never say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes? I hear men say this, never women. That’s kind of petty, but it’s something I notice on a large scale.” Women strangers very seldom say bless you to a sneeze. Older women are most likely to respond, younger chicks much less so. In my life, I spend more time around women I know, and every one of them will say ” bless you ” if I sneeze, but that is different than the reality… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ Ya

” On the flip side, there’s the Blaximus types who will knock the teeth out of every guy who looks at them funny …”

Lmao.

I’m in your head….. I’m in your head….

Lol. That’s why I loves you.

Not that it’s important at all, but I understand the ” where *I* grew up…” scenarios to illustrate learning to cope and deal with extreme situations.

It ain’t about anyone’s expectations….except that a mean, ignorant and violent person may expect to be able to beat/rob/shoot you.

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

Good advice

I am usually a moderate drinker, but I also haven’t had that much fun in a while.. so it got away from me. Sucks.. gotta learn from it, but yes I consciously time my consumption and even do so for my date sometimes.

One drink is actually my path to Zen.. just to take the edge off. But you are right, the challenge is (should be) to be able to do that without any assistance.

TuffLuv
TuffLuv
5 years ago

Also, yeah the married chick and I were pretty flirty but you’re right about the kino..

My inner fear is that they’ll fall for me. I’m your AF/BB combo guy with dreamy eyes. Chicks want to own me when they are attracted. Gotta filter, and married chicks are out.

Point taken, will practice more on them, then vanish.

Pellaeon
Pellaeon
5 years ago

Congruence can be faked. Authenticity cannot. You are stubbornly missing this.

I absolutely am… because my main point is that it’s a useless distinction.

If an outside observer feels that you are being “inauthentic”, then your behavior is not congruent. You can say I’m wrong for talking about internal combustion engine vehicles when you want to talk about cars all you want. If we’re referring to the same object with different vocabulary, then the label doesn’t really matter.

gb_hill
gb_hill
5 years ago
SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Tuffluv Your field report reminded me of a couple points Daniel Coyle makes in “The Little Book of Talent”. (Not preaching to you Tuffluv, merely making this point to others reading and following along at other points in their learning curve of game.) The times when you screw up are not the times to kick yourself or be afraid of failures in a growth mindset. You don’t have to gloss over failures because they are a critical time for learning. When you respond positively to mistakes and tell your ego that it is an opportunity for learning. (Any time you… Read more »

redlight
redlight
5 years ago

@yareally

Meanwhile no one actually just types in “rsd physical” or “rsd escalation” into fucking YouTube and watches them go into this shit ALL THE FUCKING TIME lol …
(Replying to SUPER polite)
This. I’m quoting your whole post because it’s all gold. No one who meets me thinks I’m a “jerk” or “asshole”

When I YouTube “rsd polite” I get videos like Julien being the Center of Attention. PLEASE post some videos of the SUPER POLITE PUA approach. THANK YOU!

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ Ya…again… ” ..It’s incongruent for them to NOT enforce their boundaries IF those “don’t look at me funny” boundaries come from personal inherent value systems and not from social conditioning put on them (aka other people’s frames” ^ This right here. ^ That says it all imo. I just spent the past week getting the shit knocked out of me ( with headgear, thank God ) by my boxing instructor friend. I’m trying to become proficient at the Floyd Mayweather style of defense. I studied and studied, but It’s imperative that I get in the ring with gear and… Read more »

Mazrim
Mazrim
5 years ago

Really? 4 yrs ago you were arguing patience, now you’re “Ghosting”. Not meaning to sound accusatory. I suppose it’s a question of have your thoughts evolved on the topic.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Blaximus

“I have a lot of confidence but I’m wary of irrational confidence and I try to reinforce my belief in myself by challenging myself sometimes.

And just like being infield talking to chicks, this exercise won’t kill me.”

Lol. There we go thinking alike again.

SD
SD
5 years ago

Us humans are working off of obsolete software. Or biological mate seeking instincts are wired for a world seldom graced by civilized rules of conduct. Compared to our time span as a species, “Recorded History” is but an eyeblink. Now when it comes to women , the reason they despise nice men is simple. It’s because such emasculated creatures would not survive in a natural world. For all the faults Hypergamy brings in a civilized society, it’s a damn good evolutionary mechanism in a tribal social system bereft of 911 and Netflix. Why should a woman mate with a man… Read more »

Chump No More
Chump No More
5 years ago

@Rollo “But here’s the kicker, don’t be nice, don’t hold concern for, or really give any deference to the state of any woman, but also, don’t be caught in a monogamous relationship with a woman in which you’re subject to the weakness of being Nice. It’s unattractive to regard her above yourself or put her existence above your own purposes.” You speak the truth here, sir… I learned this one the hard way. 2nd (ex)-wife was single mom, trying to have it all. I was a single dad, raising my three because (1st) ex abandoned me & kids to run… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ SJF

Well you know what they say about Grape Vines.

… or was that Great Minds???

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago
SJF
SJF
5 years ago

“Well you know what they say about Grape Vines.”

They need pruning in the spring.

I pruned mine last week, spring equinox and all.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

scribblerg Okay, that’s it, I’m convinced Emily and Kate are sock accounts Rollo uses to demonstrate the FI. It’s not possible for them to be this dense and solipsistic and self serving and cunty? Or is it… How old are you, again? Of course it is possible for GeishaKateTroll and Emilyslut to be that solipsistic, that selfish, etc. and so forth. Emilyslut is 20-something, and GeishaKateTroll is a very slightly reformed feminist. Rollo doesn’t have to create sockpuppets. All he has to do is leave the gate open for stray bitches to wander in, and pretty soon there’s always one… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ enrique ” Blax, remember the post about a year ago, from the black chick, showing a pic of a black dude walking on the INSIDE of the sidewalk, black gal, walking on the OUTSIDE (Atlanta I think) and she was posting it with the whole, “smh” stuff, seeking the “only real [black] man in the room”…man she got Red Pilloried (to our gender’s credit), Torn the FUCK UP by the (largely) brothers, posting shit like, “they are prolly coworkers, he owes her shit!” and “unless it’s his sister or wife…” Brothers woke up long before white and hispanic dudes… Read more »

YaReally
5 years ago

@redlight “When I YouTube “rsd polite” I get videos like Julien being the Center of Attention. PLEASE post some videos of the SUPER POLITE PUA approach. THANK YOU!” Sure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_04eBZcTy1o infield of Jeffy bitching out a student at 5:20 for miscalibrating and runing a girl’s night…6:30 when he tells the student “it’s not fucking funny dude” is a good example of a scolding frame I use infield with AMOGs, just holding eye-contact and staying calm but very assertive/sure of myself in what I’m saying, like if they’re picking on a dude I’ll do this to them and say stuff like… Read more »

YaReally
5 years ago

@redlight
Hell MOST of Todd’s infield is all polite gentlemanly shit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3PRAgwyKDA

He opens with a compliment and goes from there being generally polite but knowing when to push things etc. No dark triad chicks dig jerks asshole Julien drama here.

This shit is all just sitting there on YouTube for anyone to find lol

YaReally
5 years ago

@redlight
Max too, most of his style is just going in with a positive good energy, complimenting the girls, etc, no crazy Julien drama:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8M2_tgCszg

Thanks for giving me a reason to link these again lol

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ SJF

My neighbor has vines growing on the other side of my fence. Natch, they grow over the top and trail down into my yard. Neighbor just laughs and say ” enjoy them “. You’re right, I’ll trim them soon so I can better direct the path that they will grow in.

Big, juicy Concords. I can hardly wait.

Striver
Striver
5 years ago

“Nice guys were called something different for most of our animalistic history; dead meat.”

Or he was cucking the alphas when they were off fighting battles against other alphas.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Chump No More

“So yeah, being ‘nice’ at the expense of yourself does not pay… ever!”

This is how you start to begin pursuing the Platinum Rule [Do whatever you want to whenever you want to]… welcome!

Few random notes

Creep – girl language for low attraction

Jerk – girl language for she didn’t get what she wanted or expected. Often delivered ex post facto, so you have the situation where she DID fuck him but retroactively jerk classes him… so all BO guys here is botches, having been fucked by these guys, having had liked “jerks”…

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Edit – BP guys hear…

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
5 years ago

@YaReally

Todd on proper negging (it should be fun, not an insult):

The fact that I’ve gotten away with saying “So you’re the ugly friend?” to a target’s friend (getting one of those open mouth smile/gasps as a reaction) then had her introduce me right after tells me that I’ve got a decent grasp on this one.

Chump_No_More
Chump_No_More
5 years ago

Rollo, I completely get it, for the RP aware it’s not hard to miss. I see it everyday, wherever I go… I can’t unsee it.

My intent was to share my tale as an FR, of sorts, on the stark contrast of prioritizing yourself vs women and how I finally in my RP awareness connected the dots in my own life.

Ludiam0ndz
Ludiam0ndz
5 years ago

whats your beef with the baffler article? What do you disagree with?

enrique
enrique
5 years ago

Blax, do you know what ever happened to Thugtician? He had some good shit on Youtube and he went radio silent about 4 or 5 years ago.

Hope he’s on an island somewhere with some hotties.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ enrique

Nope. He just went dark.

There was a little movement to get him to come back, but I don’t think anyone has heard or seen him in years.

redlight
redlight
5 years ago

@Ludiam0ndz

why do you love the baffler article? what do you agree with? can you summarize it to some key points?

@yareally

Thanks (when I posted the request I thought here comes 85 videos, it was a close guess). My natural style is not at all jerk, so it’s nice to see some cool stuff I can use.

Roused
Roused
5 years ago

SJF,

Hey man that post about mistakes was spot on. If I keep my head in the frame of it’s learning from mistakes it helps makes the mistakes easier to swallow and digest. Some good sleep and letting that post of yours along with Blax’s ooze into my consciousness will do me wonders.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Thugtician”

I missed him somehow.

Found mirror archive.
Good stuff.
Radio Voice.

What’s new to me is new. I’ve got some more listening to do.

637
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
%d bloggers like this: