During the Q&A section of the Man in Demand talk I gave back in September I was asked about where I believed the social dynamic of Open Hypergamy would lead. In specific the idea was proposed, and I agree, that the logical next step for a social order founded on feminine Hypergamy and one that prioritizes the female sexual strategy as preeminent would lead to a state of openly accepted cuckoldry.
Although I can’t say it’s an accepted social dynamic as yet, there are many social indicators that are revealing this push towards a normalized cuckoldry. I’ll explore these for a bit in this essay, but for now these indicators are about a move away from conventional monogamy in the hopes that a ‘soft cuckoldry’ might be a precursor to instituting a more accepted open cuckoldry.
I think it’s also important to keep in mind a couple of primary principles about this shift. First is the fact that, initially, an openly accepted state of feminine-controlled cuckoldry will never be called ‘cuckoldry’ proper. If we use the example of a socially accepted (if not celebrated) open Hypergamy as a model, open cuckoldry will be sold as a more logical, more humane sexual strategy for men and women in light of divorce statistics, romantic boredom and other sexual studies that indicate men and women weren’t evolved for monogamous commitment.
The second is that open cuckoldry is the extension of a unilaterally feminine controlled Hypergamy. That is to say that as Hypergamy becomes more normalized as a social imperative that sexual strategy will extend to optimizing Hypergamy across genders. If that optimization is taken to its logical end it will require men not just to adopt cuckoldry as a norm, but to socially reward them for advocating it among their own sex.
Cuckoldry By Any Other Name
As I said, it wont be called ‘cuckoldry’; the connotations are negative, so a redefining will be made in order to make the practice more socially palatable. The Feminine Imperative wont recruit the very men it needs to perpetuate cuckoldry as their own sexual strategy if the term is derogatory. Thus we’ll get euphemisms for alternative lifestyles, ‘open marriages’ or a “Designer Relationship“:
We live in an era when everything is customizable. Relationships are no exception. Some people will continue to practice their grandparents’ form of monogamy, and others, probably the majority, will be serially exclusive and pair-bonded. Still others will explore some form of non-monogamous expression that encompasses one or more of the facets we’ve discussed or may flow in and out of being exclusive based on what the relationship requires. (We’ve done this ourselves.) Having the ability to customize a relationship means having the freedom to respond to life’s vicissitudes.
The first time I came across the concept of ‘soft polygamy’ I was in a behavioral psychology class exploring the practices of modern marriage and contrasting them with the long term sexual behaviors of men and women. As you might imagine the context of the study focused entirely on the ‘bad behaviors’ of men who essentially transitioned from serial monogamy to serial marriage. The idea was that in the process of moving from one LTR to another men were establishing a soft form of polygamy.
In a social respect, men have far more to lose from serial marriages than do women. The financial liabilities of divorce are well known to the manosphere, but so are the emotional and familial accountabilities. So from a strictly male perspective, serial LTRs are a dicey prospect, but from a female perspective, in a feminine-primary social order, institutionalized Hypergamy and the soft polygamy that results from the Sandbergian sexual strategy, soft cuckoldry becomes pragmatic in optimizing Hypergamy for women.
At this point we should consider the Heartiste maxim about feminism again:
The feminist goal is removing all constraints on female sexuality while maximally restricting male sexuality
Institutionalized cuckoldry is the logical means to restricting male sexuality, but we have to consider what function that restriction serves for women. From an Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks perspective the plan is simple; restrict that sexuality as women find need for a particular man’s service.
Diamonds and Rust
While I’m reluctant to prognosticate, my guess is that future generations of men will be conditioned to accept their role in this cuckoldry as part of their socialization. The above Forevermark diamond advertisement is one illustration of this. Open Hypergamy and its acceptance has already made its popular debut in mainstream media and advertising, and likewise open cuckoldry is just now finding a social foothold.
It takes the Red Pill Lens to appreciate the efforts as they’re being made by a large society. The Forevermark ad is intended to be funny or cute, but it belies a deeper, more poignant truth about Alpha Widows, Hypergamy and the long term sexual strategy Plan and roles women expect men to play in it.
I was made aware of this ad being circulated from a reader on Twitter and at first thought it was a reworked joke. It is however legit and billboards with this campaign are up in major cities. Without the benefit of a Red Pill Lens I can see how most men would laugh it off or women might giggle sardonically about it, but the the fact remains that a clever copywriter is aware of the sexual dynamics that make it funny.
I pulled the following quote from Deti on one of Dalrock’s more recent post:
“I think what we will continue to see is growing disengagement.”
Yeah, this has been discussed here and elsewhere in the almost 5 years I’ve been around here.
I think that what will happen is that things will continue sliding in the same direction they’re going now, until a critical mass is reached. I don’t know what that critical mass is, what will trigger it, or when it will be reached.
We live in a mostly free society with a hybrid of capitalism and socialism. We have maximum freedom and autonomy right now, with both sexes being free to pursue pretty much whatever they want, however they want to. That is the prime characteristic driving the current circumstance — that, and up to now, there’s been enough money taxed, borrowed and stolen to pay for it.
A growing number of men are not getting as much sex as they want. A growing number of women aren’t getting commitments in the form they want — when they want or from the men they want.
So things are going to keep sliding that way. More and more men will walk away and direct what energies they have left elsewhere — into work, or beer/bros/Xbox/porn, or travel/leisure. (Oddly enough, this might make many of them more attractive to women, since they’re spending less time directing their attentions to women.) More and more men will earn just enough to support themselves, since they don’t plan on marriage, and fatherhood is out of the question. They will lack the skills to improve their lives. They will not get nearly as much sex as they want, but they will learn to live with it — mostly through porn, the occasional hookup, and the even more occasional prostitute. The price of prostitutes will skyrocket as demand increases; and a few more women will go into high-end call girl work to earn side money.
More and more women will direct their attentions into their work, travel/leisure, and having children without men. (This will definitely make more of them less attractive to men except as on again, off again sex partners.) They will not get the commitments from men they want, but they will learn to live with it. They will complain about it with increasing volume and shrillness, but they’ll learn to live with it.
Until something happens to cause the tides to turn. Again – don’t know what, or when, or how. But something will happen to cause a hard reset. And it will be exquisitely painful for everyone. I don’t want it to happen, nor do I relish it. It’s not something to desire or look forward to because of the pain it will bring. But I do think it will happen. I don’t think it will happen in my lifetime or my kids’ lifetimes. We could easily slide like this for another 50 to 100 years.
I think one consequence of this separation of the genders will include a socially normalized institution of cuckoldry. To take hold it will need to be termed something different, but in effect the process of women conceiving with one man and then expecting another man to parentally invest himself in that child will be a casual expectation of women. With so many men effectively (if not intentionally) going their own way, the idea that any man wouldn’t be expected to serve as a surrogate parent will become commonplace.
Genders divided by feminism or feminine social primacy will need a ‘customized’ form of cuckoldry that allows for the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy to be reconciled with the Beta Bucks side by enlisting different men for either purpose.
The Pink Pill
I want to end here with an essay I read recently on the fallout of the new female form of Viagra:
In an infamous cartoon in The New Yorker in 2001, one woman confides to a friend over drinks: ‘I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized what I really needed was Steve replacement.’ Medicine has been reluctant to engage the question of just how much monogamy and long-term togetherness affect sexual function and desire, and the ‘Steve’ problem remains an issue that is tacitly acknowledged and yet under-discussed. To return to Julie’s growing pile of self-help titles, the books all promise to return, revive, restore without really getting down to the brass tacks of why desire extinguished in the first place. As Julie notes, the honeymoon grinds to an end, but the issues leading there are complex. In short supply is attention to the way mind and body react to social structures such as popular media, faith and marriage.
To develop drugs to boost libido is like ‘giving antibiotics to pigs because of the shit they’re standing in’
The American psychologist Christopher Ryan argues that the institution of modern marriage – meaning an exclusive couple bound by romantic love – is antithetical to long-term excitement. Ryan is best known for Sex at Dawn (2010), a book authored with his wife Cacilda Jethá, that makes the case that sexual monogamy is deeply at odds with human nature. He is among a growing number of researchers suggesting that the rift between women’s purportedly limitless sexual potential and their dulled actuality might owe to the circumstances of intimacy. Accordingly, the conjugal bed is not only the scene of dwindling desire, but its fundamental cause. The elements that strengthen love – reciprocity, closeness, emotional security – can be the very things that smother lust. While love angles toward intimacy, desire flourishes across a distance.
The entire article is very insightful if not a bit depressing, but with the Red Pill Lens we can begin to understand the latent purpose behind the message. I’ve gone on record about the pushback against clearing the pink pill for use as being a direct threat to women’s control of their own Hypergamy. The concern, ostensibly, is that a libido stimulating drug might be used to induce a woman into having sex that her otherwise sober sense would prevent; effectively it could be a ‘rape’ drug.
What’s finally being addressed in this article however is what I’ve been saying since I was aware of the drug’s trials – a chemical that induces libido in women removes an element of their control in sexual selection and compromises Hypergamy. I’m not entirely sure the author was aware of the points she was revealing in this, but she succinctly makes the case for both institutionalized cuckoldry (or certainly a ‘customized’ soft polygamy for women) and advocates for women maintaining control of their Hypergamy unclouded by a drug that would remove that control by chemically inducing them into sex that isn’t of their own choosing.
The ‘cure’ to women’s low libido is holistic, not biological. Women’s sexual deficiencies are presumed not to be the result of a ‘broken’ biology, but rather a lack of proper motivation. I should point out that all of this validates all the points I was making about Dread in marriage last month on Biblical Gender Roles – maintaining a condition of proper motivation (i.e. Dread), the holistic cure, is exactly what even femosphere authors are tacitly advocating.
The elements that strengthen love – reciprocity, closeness, emotional security – can be the very things that smother lust.
Yet now, even when a pharmaceutical solution to the lust problem is made available the ‘cure’ is rejected. Why? Because on a root, limbic level women’s hindbrains know that Hypergamy cannot be optimized with a drug that removes Hypergamous choice. The real solution has never changed and women are now put into a position of having to openly acknowledge that for all of the pretense of “mismatched libidos” or “sex just declines after marriage” social conventions, men’s cuckoldry is the real plan for Hypergamy.
When presented with a pill that will make them sexual, when given a cure to their low sex drives with the men who’ve made lifetime commitments to them, women will still refuse to take it. Hypergamous doubt can’t be quelled with a pill.
Hi Rollo,
An eye opener, it’s true that our femcentric culture is becoming increasingly widely reciprocated. To give an example my father is from the Middle East where the role of the traditional male is the accepted social model, so you can imagine the feeling of something not being quite right when I visit my inlaws and it’s the norm that the woman is the leader of the house!
Awareness is the answer!
Dan
On Rollo’s frequently cited SMV chart. Part of what we see re: higher male SMV around 30+ has to do with the economic and social winnowing of males by that age. Thanks to the aggressive matriarchcial lean of modern society, smart and physically attractive males get “poached off ” by women like prime deer during hunting season long before reaching 30. Case in point. I once met a college kid paying a $450 monthly child support obligation at a party. Kid got screwed by the Chance card of life. The first girl he banged in High School got knocked up… Read more »
In the middle of sex, I asked Mrs. Gamer what her favorite movie was and she immediately saw through my game, lol. Joviality ensued.
https://theasdgamer.wordpress.com/2015/12/09/the-emotional-connection-gambit/
@ rugby
Good to see you progressing. Props on journaling.
IliadsTangent: Very true and good points. I went through that as did many of my peers (I’m now mid-40s and doing quite well with a normal wife [foreign] and kids).
I can see and hear that American women now want a second, third or fourth swing at destroying a man’s life even after 40, even after he has gotten through ALL that mess in his 20s and 30s. Fortunately, the Red Pill sometimes foments on it’s own in these men, who ever never remarry, or marry foreign.
@Enrique – Of course, it’s all situational and there may be good reasons. But getting a woman to explain that to you will be emotional and revealing as well. And of course, you are normalizing what is exceptional for some reason. For most human beings, family relationships are key. Even in my case, with a sadistic, madman for a father, I maintained an adult relationship with him. And of course, family is more than parents, i’m also curious about siblings, extended family etc. I find people who have strong family relationships are much more emotionally healthy. Just sayin’… And if… Read more »
Basically crazy mom stuff. The same stuff we talk about in the Manosphere. Just because my father put up with it (and beta’d down to it) doesn’t mean we have to. Serious enough shit, and a near nuclear destruction at any attempts to have normalcy. I understand your point and finding out what’s going on is important. Btw, I’ll take the reverse of what you say though too. I’m (White) Hispanic, and ANY TIME (in the past when I was single) I dated a Latina that was a momma’s girl, that was a red flag, specifically if mom was a… Read more »
@NTBM, so I guess MGTOW scientists haven’t developed that drug to eliminate male libido so men can reach their enlightened potentials yet huh?
@Dman:
http://therationalmale.com/2013/09/19/the-curse-of-potential/
Men’s peak SMV is still based on men optimizing their personal potential. This period is simply the time most men who’ve built upon that potential will enjoy the sexual selectivity and benefits that are associated with it.
Also:
http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/04/moments-of-clarity/
@rugby
http://m4ker.free.fr/PUA/Essential%20Seduction/%5BJuggler%5D_The_Juggler_Method_Encyclopedia_(Second_Edition).pdf
Thx man. I was reading some crib sheet version. Probably why it wasn’t doing it for me.
@Rollo: if there was such a drug, already proven without ANY side-effects I think I would at least try it.
If I didn’t have to worry about sex I think I would be happier (if this seems strange to any of you, many of us yearn for childhood)
But not having ANY side-effects is basically impossible as male achievement is apparently necessarily linked to libido (hormonally?) and I wouldn’t be as happy underachieving.
@Rollo Speaking of SMV and benefits,how does that SMV chart apply to men who’ve made the socially expected bluepill relationship errors ? I can see a man who develops himself consistently improving his SMV-as long as he doesnt step on the legion of FI relationship landmines.Its getting to the point where any sexually active man is risking the gauntlet, and a lot of them will lose. How does improving SMV work for a man $150,000 + in the hole due to a divorce , or paying $2000+ monthly for child support and /or alimony? As a single man who luckily… Read more »
@IAS/Rollo – It’s a compelling hypothetical, isn’t it? Would you take a pill to release you from the imperious urge or not? I guess for me, my sexuality is so wrapped up with my masculinity and identity I couldn’t imagine life without it. But then again, I have an N of 100+. If I was some incel or loathed beta who’s had bad sex 3 times in his life and spent 30 hours a week thrashing myself to porn, perhaps I might feel differently.
@Scribblerg: my N is 1 so there is certainly that factor.
I get so much joy from other stuff where I don’t need anyone else that it would be very tempting for me, but it seems that at least part of my drive to be “better” is at least indirectly related to libido.
By the way, if I could go without eating, I would mostly do that too. It is not that it is bad, often it is actually very good, for me it is just not worth the effort the majority of time.
My bomb drop for the day lol work is picking up again so my free time will be limited soon. @Klem Haven’t seen The Program, I’m done with online/internet game. It’s been flooded with chodes and cold approach gets me way better reception in 2015 where everyone else is relying on online shit to talk to girls. @bluepillprofessor lol glad it helped. Google how to choke safely, you can do serious damage if you’re just winging it. @averagechump “Do you think they’re not important because (1) in a given venue, or out on the street, there will always be a… Read more »
@YaReally Here’s the best way to describe it and this is for Rollo too ’cause of the fireman calendar thing: If muscles are inherently attractive, what do girls picture those firemen in that calendar doing in their fantasy? Do they picture those guys shuffling around with their head down, shoulders hunched, stuttering and asking permission to take off their bra? No. They picture those guys throwing them over their shoulder and manhandling them and fucking them James Deen style. But why? If the muscles themselves are what’s attractive and women are visual like men, then it shouldn’t matter what those… Read more »
scribblerg,
“@Ya etc – Re: SilverFox game….”
Thanks for that post scrib. Your FR’s on this topic keep me in the game.
A gem among a pile of gems from YaReally: My orig comment: “I get stalled as I escalate. I have trouble isolating, I need to do volume to get better at that but it scares the shit out of me for some reason. It’s like I’ve given myself permission to approach and be flirty and get the vibe going but I think that escalating will just crash me.” His response: “lol standard sticking point, don’t sweat it. This is just your brain wanting to preserve your ego. You get a good reaction and it’s going well and your brain doesn’t… Read more »
@Rollo: ” I guess MGTOW scientists haven’t developed that drug to eliminate male libido so men can reach their enlightened potentials yet huh?” Sure they have. @IAS: “. . . if there was such a drug, already proven without ANY side-effects . . .” But it turns them, hormonally speaking, into pathetic and weepy women. @Ya Really: “VR-porn and Netflix and videogames etc will help neuter that.” That’ll take out something like 90% from the local field. And under those conditions, where large groups of “men” facing a single armed man cower on the floor like rabbits, simply waiting their… Read more »
@kfg
https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/3vtbqp/the_rational_male_open_cuckoldry/cxqqfm3
There are several prescription anti-depressants that do exactly this. However the down side of these drugs is that the men who take them become apathetic to any other intrinsically rewarding stimuli they were previously passionate about. Side effect or simply the consequence of removing an incentivizing stimuli?
@ YaReally But when you have your subcomms down despite your externals (this girl at 7:40 thinks he’s so high-value from all the little subcomms he’s given off that he’s just taking her number “to be nice”, she doesn’t think she deserves him and he has to correct her and make a hard statement of interest): See, this is where I keep dropping the ball. A girl is showing massive IOI’s (which causes me to have to game myself so I stop calibrating the girl) and I fail to act quickly enough and she DQs herself. Last Friday night a… Read more »
@scribblerg The ego-preservation is even worse for you because you used to be a pimp with girls. So your brain won’t want to take any chances on fucking up that self-image, especially since it logically views success with these girls as being harder at your age than when you were in your prime so it thinks “look we were able to pull this off in our prime, but NOW it’s WAY harder so just don’t even try to push it, just be happy with the validation cause you’re probably going to bomb and then you’re going to have to worry… Read more »
@YaReally
I tried watching the full debate a few days ago, but couldn’t. They kept interrupting Milo and telling him he couldn’t use certain words, etc…
Thanks for linking to the highlights. Much more watchable.
@YaReally That’s why I respect pickup instructors who have to go out every night and people are paying them thousands to succeed…I don’t even know if I could perform under that kind of pressure lol I think it would be hard to enjoy that…but then some people thrive under pressure. Haha that’s one of the weird things for me. I feel like I do much better with my game when I’m trying to show a newbie what to do, or if I got a camera on me (I originally filmed myself doing approaches to try out for the PickUp Artist… Read more »
Fuck. Busted again. Ya is spot on. The stakes are higher in escalation for me in terms of ego for two reasons: – It’s not like approaching which I do with ease (although it’s harder with my less experienced wing watching, bang on, Ya, I can fix that with a conversation tonight). Approaching is so high volume for me (I approach wherever I go no, no prob, sometimes I have to turn it off, lol) and it’s not like they are down to fuck, it’s just a fun convo so I don’t care how it goes. I’m freed up to… Read more »
@Scribble, I’m stealing that pink or brown line.
@Newly – Bonus round? Depending on the social situation, it may be better to whisper it in her ear rather than trying to make her laugh about nipple conversations in front of other people. You lean in, not quite all the way, making her move towards you a bit and then whisper, “It’s about your nipples, silly.” Make it your little secret. I’ve actually watched a chick’s nipples get hard and stick out right after this line, as i’m staring at them. Tee hee. Fuck, what happened to that guy? Answer: He settled for the fantasy and the ego gratification.… Read more »
@Rollo Tommassi https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/806980005/slut-the-play @scribblerg “Someone who is willing to write off family for anything short of the most heinous shit is at best, quite selfish and immature and more likely a fucking headcase themselves.” Just thinking about how I set myself up when I go back to my family. I will always loved all of them but I have serious heart ache from a lot of unnecessary abuse. I will always love my mom and dad. What hurts is my mom emasculating my farther. That hit deep an levels that shatter my frame when I go back to that as… Read more »
Sadly most men who are married never come to the realization that they are not desired, and the fact that this status quo is not amenable to negotiation. That is why the singlemost important red pill truth is AFBB. Any man who runs into this awareness is fucked for life whichever side of the equation he finds himself in. He is either a piece of meat or a piece of money. Cucker or cucked. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
@cheupez “That is why the singlemost important red pill truth is AFBB. Any man who runs into this awareness is fucked for life whichever side of the equation he finds himself in. He is either a piece of meat or a piece of money. Cucker or cucked. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.” No it’s called honoring nature. I would have never though of destroying myself if I had Rollos book as early as 14. All the hardships came because of forced reality a being pushed on me that was nothing like what I was seining and living through. Have you ever… Read more »
@ YaReally
when you go into a venue that retarded 22yo guy you threw a girl at once is like “YOOO!!! SCRIBBLER-G!! WHAT UP MAN LOLOL” and you think to yourself “fuck society is doomed”
I almost snorted coffee out my nose. Stop that shit. Hits too close to home. I threw a girl at a man older than me last Fri. He’s not retarded. Wtf would I throw a girl at any retarded guy?
Yeah, you were fucking hilarious.
@Cheupez, Fuck ignorance. Ignorance is slavery. Marriage without red bill knowledge is bondage around the hands and feet. With red pill knowledge, those bonds become a cock ring. lol
@Rugby – Dude, fuck Ronda Rousey. She’s Exhibit A in what’s wrong with our society and women today. She fought in a tiny, not so challenging division and let the Beta Chodes fluff her up into something completely disconnected from her talent. Holm’s defeat of her couldn’t have been more karmic. Fyi, her first trainer said that too – she’s been a cunt of epic proportions for years, no surprise. And then here comes Holm, a woman who worked her way up, built her skills and rep – without being a loudmouth bitch. She’s actually quite feminine in her own… Read more »
@Rubgy, someone said it prior here (can’t remember if Scribble or Blax) but anybody not on your red pill train is simply “irrelevant” to your goals. You still love them, but they have to take a back seat if they dis you in any way. It’s such a freeing feeling once you reach this realization. You’re disappointed in all their past shenanigans you now see, but you’re no longer pissed, and yet you don’t feel a strong need to hang around them if they try to dis you either.
@ Rollo
A femblogger has posted about her husband’s low libido. Is this a problem for many <40 yo men?
https://emma75love.wordpress.com/2015/12/05/blow-up/
@asd, read the comments. Then switch the roles and imagine a husband who posted the same meme and blog post.
He’s a monster with ‘issues’ and “is sex really the most important thing in a relationship?! Take him for everything he’s got!”
Surely. But what about my question?
@Rugby – One more thing. Most of my family members solved the problem of our family trauma by disconnecting from each other. I’m the only one who got therapy and I decided to be glue in our family and slowly knit adult relationships and traditions for most of us that sustain us to this day. As for my Dad, I had to ask myself a very serious question at one point. Who did I want to be? Did I want to be a good son, no matter what he’d done? I wanted to be and did my best. I also… Read more »
@Scribble, did your dad ever apologize for his actions?
My father won’t even acknowledge his father by the term “father” or “dad” because he was just like your father.
@Newly – Nope, in fact, not too long before he died he said his biggest mistake in raising me was that he wasn’t hard enough on me, lol. He was an actual psychopath, which is one of the reasons I get a little tetchy when people in the manosphere throw around diagnoses and “dark triad” stuff so glibly. I know what a real psychopath looks like…
@YaReally – ” Everyone caves to social pressure. If you’ve ever not done something you know would disappoint your mom, dad, kids, friends, boxing coach, etc then you cave to social pressure. If you’ve ever held back on swearing around kids or in church, you cave to social pressure. If you’ve ever dressed up for an important event, worn a suit in a job interview, gotten a haircut, spoken respectfully to a police officer, spoken more politely in some company than in other company (around your mom or a date VS your friends), felt uncomfortable being an outsider in a… Read more »
@YaReally
I’ve been saying this for over three years now but thanks for taking the time to reply, thanks for helping others, thanks for doing what you do.
-IG
@Blax – Handled like a boss, boom. Those of us who’ve had a lot of fights generally don’t start them, try to de-escalate and stay away from guys who “like” to fight. We know people get really hurt, it’s not fucking TV. And today, besides the guns etc, you will also likely go to jail if you get in a fight. The cops have zero tolerance policies now and a fight that you might have had 30 yrs ago as a private matter can now easily become a felony. That said, being able to fight is quite a confidence builder.… Read more »
@Rugby: “The side with the girl in the red dress.”
Having a Cypher moment, are we?
@scribblerg
Amen. ” Felony ” is not on my To Do list in any way.
The confidence thing is KEY. People never scare me at all. Women included. : ) Hurricane Sandy, that shit scared me. I was thinking ” JESUS!!!! When is this shit gonna end!!!”, but on the outside I was Mr. Emotionless.
But yeah, you’re right, men aren’t allowed to handle shit anymore. It’s actively discouraged. I’m hard-headed though, lol.
@asd A femblogger has posted about her husband’s low libido. Is this a problem for many <40 yo men? about half the cases in r/DeadBedrooms are low libido men under 40 (and most of the rest are betas that can’t get much sex from their wife/GF). For example just posted: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/3w4vl3/advice_my_so_ll26m_and_i_hl23f_have_pretty_much/ We’re coming on a year together, and although we were fiery in the beginning (3x a day) now it’s closer to once a month, where I can tell he’s not into it/lasts a very short time. We still cuddle and have some physical intimacy, but every time I make… Read more »
@ Blax Cosign your plan to always use good sense and avoid trouble if you can. I’ve been arrested for a felony before and won the case. I know my way around the courts. I’ve won three cases and lost zero. I helped get a buddy out of the slammer once on a habeas. Mrs. Gamer filed for divorce while I was in the middle of that felony case, too, so that made it harder to deal with the case. Obviously, we reconciled. I’ve worked with cops before at gun shows. I hike with a cop. I know how they… Read more »
When are we going to crowd fund our movie, possible names based upon RP themes: The Cuckering. [From the people who brought you The Stand, Christine, and… The Purge] She’s almost Wall [Soundtrack by Phil Collins…Sir Elton John was too expensive] Sandberg: A life examined. [Creators or Ishtar, Beaches and Star 80] Foam Cannon Summers [Inspired by Grease, the Musical] He’ll still be there [The Notebook Sequel] Bitch..I am a bitch. [From the creators of Friday, Next Friday and Friday after Next, soundtrack by Queen Latifah] Mother, Daughter, Beer [Christian-themed movie about the reconciliation of a 40-something former stripper and… Read more »
@ASD I have 2 cousins that are state troopers, 1 cousin is a fed Marshall, and I have a shitload of friends that grew up to become law enforcement officers. I’ve had a few really bad experiences with cops, so I’m not inclined to automatically assume positive things about them. I get that they get jaded and all, no one calls the police to invite them to their cookouts, but there are a lot of cops out there that should not wear the uniform and carry a gun. I’ve been detained/arrested for everything from kidnapping and bank robbery, to assault… Read more »
@ YaReally
WTF with the “Tom Cruise” panelist missing the girl passing the kiss compliance test at the end? Was that panelist retarded?
Lol, I just got kicked out of a comic book store where I went to game. I was carrying a bottle of wine and the store owner wanted to give me a lecture and I didn’t want to listen and he kicked me out. He was a big lardass who probably faps to porn and never gets laid, lol. I could have helped him but he fucked himself.
“”We don’t even WANT the girl…we just want to NOT GET REJECTED lol We don’t play to win, we play to not lose. To preserve our ego and our sense of identity.”” Light bulb moment right there. This is my game sticking point as well. Being 6’5″ my brain tells me hey I’m ‘supposed’ to get some IOI’s. I’m supposed to be able to approach & not get blown out. I put pressure on myself. Then my self-preserving ego talks me out of approaching and I stand there all night like a tall chode hoping for a decent IOI that… Read more »
Self surgery pt2 Cold approached a women today and we got talking about art. Her smile was amazing no rejection and a good deal of work left to learn. @Rollo Tommassi https://mikespassingthoughts.wordpress.com/2015/12/09/more-thoughts-on-intelligence-including-the-importance-of-the-penetrative-quality/ @scribblerg My dad holds both of Rollos books I pleaded with him to read and heal with the red pill. I will always love my dad. When he annihilated me as a male by having me duplicate to women. I attempted to rebel. Did a piss poor job at it. The most amount of intimate experiences with him where violent. I came home one day an he looked… Read more »
Men don’t approach women because they are too ego-invested in the outcome instead of approaching to amuse themselves. Approaching should be play, not work. We shouldn’t expect a return so we won’t be disappointed if we don’t get a return.
CNN – Lisa Ling series, This Is Life, doing a show on PUA bootcamp…..
If you wouldn’t mind Ya, just a quick question to the resident expert. How does one disqualify themselves to a woman in a work setting without losing face and rocking the boat? Just a quick background to myself to set the scene. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m a full bore omega but I’m constantly getting hit on by women at work, to the point where it’s getting awkward now. I don’t know how to deal with it and I’m not interested in pursuing anything. My childhood was fucked up beyond all recognition, the old man was a counter intelligence… Read more »
I just touched down in Vegas, & there’s a National Rodeo Championship going on. I left Texas and the Cowboys are all here. Insanity.
I don’t know how to deal with it and I’m not interested in pursuing anything the best technique is to go temporarily beta at first I didn’t do this. so my older boss takes me to lunch and tells me “I do things other women aren’t willing to do” (which given what you can find online is what, make pancakes?). She then sets up a bogus reason for the two of us to go out of town. I go to HR and without telling them why get transferred out of there. Fast forward a few years, a very important woman… Read more »
@ Johnny
Maybe women like damaged men, I dunno.
To the women, you are a puzzle–a mystery. They want to unlock you and figure you out.
I don’t think I’m an mystery, I think post wall harridans can spot and break an omega at will.
A lot of women want a ‘comfort boy’ to take care of them,
compartmentalisation.
Use a deep position for a boy and save it up for a big blast for several days blowing it as deep as possible inside her right at the time of ovulation. Keep her legs in the air for several minutes after sex. For a girl, use shallow thrusts (and don’t save it up so it is also shallow squirts) and ejaculate just inside several days before ovulation. This gives you about an 80% chance to get the gender you want. You can bring it up to 90% plus if you use vinegar douche before sex. I don’t remember but… Read more »
@Rugby 11
“Have you ever seen an animal or human die? It helps show the importance of time and brutal sincerity.”
Ya. Nature is brutal. As brutal as being told by a doctor you have an incurable cancer in your body that is taking you out in a month or two. When one distils the RP, a man wakes up to the fact that he is his only true friend. This truth is not for the majority of humanity. Few can fully embrace it.
@yareally Hey man, keep writing here. Your post are really good, lots of stuff to learn from them. I asked about day game advice a few weeks earlier and you gave me some resource for that. I told you about being busy with my job but I think I can hit nightclubs on Saturdays. So I have compiled a list of products I will be going through for that: 1. black philip show 2. rsd tyler blueprint 3. rsd julien shift and pimp 4. mystery method eBook and dvds 5. rsd jeffy day game dvds 6. Paul jaunka day game… Read more »
Mini-FR: Today, new team lead is extremely amenable to my educating him. He’s a beginning aikido student, I’m a wing chun student of 5+ years. Today we took a few minutes for educating each other with martial arts techniques. Within minutes I had learned a few tricks from him, but “You could whoop my ass, hands down man” from him. Obvious respect from a guy who’s my direct boss simply for the fact that despite having a couple inches and 50 lbs (plus military experience) on me that I could stomp him. Really good guy of respectable character that acknowledges… Read more »
@Sun Wukong “Why can’t I be this guy with women I’d love to fuck?” Take it easy and keep yourself exploring new ways and avenue of having him become you. Just came back from a dance. I’ve learned two things. Today one ask lots of questions when dancing with hot new girls from out of town. Two never give away major details about your life even if its something she is asking for. Danced with an 9.7 redhead and she was new and I just took her body while motioning first “care to dance” She enjoyed it because I made… Read more »
Not sure if this got addressed earlier, but “Forevermark” is surely a bit telling. A “mark” is the target in a con game. And it’s forever.
good catch jr
not sure what to make of this
http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/social/this-might-sound-completely-crazy-ceara-lynch-makes-a-living–exploiting-the-strangest-kinks-of-men-across-the-globe/news-story/b55307259e3784d094a09cb9ca396c12
@Johny: You aren’t interested in them, that’s what drives their interest. I had similar experiences when I went MGTOW for a few years. Never was I chased that hard. It seems irresistible to them. At work you gotta be careful, but otherwise I’d recommend letting them chase you, enjoy the fun without investing anything from your side, make them jump on you naked (several did for me) but in the end I’d recommend to fuck those who are pleasant and really trying. Only if you really don’t they will realize your Omega-state, rationalizing your rejection as a deficit of yours… Read more »
@Hollen – Women have sex with men they aren’t attracted to all the time – that’s what Beta, married guys have to live with. That deadfish, compliance sex. That “don’t cum in my mouth”, “don’t put your finger there”, “ow, that hurts, your pushing too hard”, “I just can’t cum that way” kind of sex, yes? I will tell you this – I’ve had better sex with a prostitute than I did with my ex-wife after 2 hrs of begging and pleading (it didn’t start out that way). That used to be the norm in many cases when Marriage 1.0… Read more »
so I guess MGTOW scientists haven’t developed that drug to eliminate male libido so men can reach their enlightened potentials yet huh?
It’s not like developing such a drug would be difficult.
@Sun – Nice FR and revealing, given what YaReally shared upthread about ego investment and game. What’s clear to me is that my mid-game failure is all about ego investment, I won’t try to recreate it all here just go back in this thread and read our exchange about all that stuff. My take? It works like this. In my case, having had success with super hotties when younger sets the ego bar very high. I see myself as a guy that women dig, but I’m older now. Regardless, when I get rejected it’s more of an ego blow. I’d… Read more »
@Sun Wukong If I could take a educated stab at it, I would volunteer two factors. 1. I think you are employing buffers. With good reason. You’ve had to much undeserved shit served at you in your life. Specifically, the two buffers (cut and pasted from Rollo’s essay Buffers): Objectification of Gender – This might be less obvious, but both sexes tend to objectify the other. Naturally when we think of this, the popularized notion is that men objectify women as sex objects, but women have a tendency to objectify men as “success objects” for the same reason. It is… Read more »
@YaReally and everyone else – FR: On the way to the bar (where I played an open mic), I listened to Sedona Method to clear my emotional state and get into a happy, high energy place. I’m using Vulpine’s method/YaReally’s for setting the stage in a new venue long term to be successful. I noticed who knew who and when the 3 people joining me arrived, I focused on us having a good time and having good convo. I used eye contact with cute waitress, and was super bold with her only to find out she was married but did… Read more »
@scribblerg
Props.
I wonder if it would work if you just walked in and pretended to know everyone even if you didn’t and just waved and just called people random names and wave at them with a big smile on your face. “Hey Jim-Bob how’s it goin? ” lol.
@ scribbler_g & anybody I think that you’re on the right track with working on your social intelligence–especially your social awareness and calibration and tactics for overcoming social challenges. (You’re way ahead of me in the social intelligence dept.) Likely this will end with some more self-examination for you. I’ve been using dancing as a buffer/crutch. I think that I’ll spend one night a week just approaching people and working on my convo in bars where there isn’t any dancing. I’ll start in one place and go around the room, chatting with both men and women. I found that meetup… Read more »
@Johnnycome… – Dude, why are you settling for so little in your life? Please know I get the suffering, but at this point such a pose is a choice in your life. Why not jump into the game of being an amazing man with the rest of us here? Why not adopt an abundance mentality? Why so tentative? I think YaReally’s sharing on ego investment is so crucial for guys who want to fix what’s not working inside with respect to game/women. It works in many ways – guys who haven’t had any success with women may be using “buffers”… Read more »
@Andy: Drop the goofy random name thing and yes. Back in the day, before everything became a “technique,” we called it “being friendly.”
@ Johnny
You hide well your deficit at social intelligence, so women aren’t sure about your value. Maybe you’re a sigma who is going incognito. They find something about you intriguing.
Why not work on your social intelligence? That’s a fine thing for MGTOWs to improve just like anyone else.
Back to the continuing insanity – check this by a recent female marine who served in Iraq on women in combat.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=814s564R6F8&w=560&h=315%5D
@ ASD : to be fair, part of the criteria for ASD diagnosis is related with lower social intelligence. You probably had to start with it from a learned response whereas others may have an intuitive understanding of it from instinct or whatever.
There may be a reason not to work at it, sometimes it is good to play to your strengths and improve on those, rather than shore up you weaknesses (beyond some reasonable minimum capacity). Or am I just defending / rationalizing buffers?
@scribble, soild FR, man! I remember getting down on myself a few months ago when I didn’t do several opens. Sucked that day and I promised I wouldn’t NOT open again. But the last time I went out, I just had your similar thought that I wanted to just be the most fun dude in the bar and lift the vibe of my group. Worked like a charm. When in that state, it’s as if I have a funny joke on the tip of my thought and it’s coming out in my externals and people want to be around that.… Read more »
I checked out that chaturbate site. Interesting. I was greeted by an attractive young woman, totally naked with legs spread. She was apparently upset because someone called her a whore. Don’t worry though. Their where lots of white knights there to defend her honor….
As she sat their naked, with legs spread, ready to do what ever for a few donated tokens, what ever they are.
The hamster is strong.
@ IAS
ASD implies lower social aptitude, not necessarily active social ability. Social intelligence may be raised by application. ASD is associated with obsession and stimming; if someone with ASD obsesses about improving their social intelligence, rapid improvement is possible.
Social intelligence is so very important that one cannot neglect improving major deficits in it, barring being forced into a life as a hermit. Life is richer to those who can engage others. Why are we on this blog?
“Back to the continuing insanity – check this by a recent female marine who served in Iraq on women in combat.” That was a very interesting interview. I hadn’t thought of it from the angle of having the (potential) option to place any active duty service woman into a combat position. It answers some questions….I honestly couldnt’ think of ANY reason whatsoever why they would do this, but that adds some clarity. I don’t think conscription is likely, but I do see why they would want to use what they have right now to fill those holes. It’s not a… Read more »
“But if you are a politician and you aren’t concerned about actual security, or the lives of our service people, or logistics, or tactics, or longterm goals/consequences/costs…” How many of them are left that were at Belleau Wood or Arnhem? How many are left that have even heard of them? OK, to be fair, one of my childhood war heroes was female. She received the Croix de Guerre for 12 separate actions at the Battle of Verdun. She survived the war, but had been shot through the chest, lost an eye, a leg and ultimately died as a result of… Read more »
http://cdn4.thr.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/675×380/2015/12/gettyimages-485975346.jpg
Read this article by Camille Paglia on “girl squads” and selfies. She calls Taylor Swift a “Nazi Barbie”, lol. I love when women eat each other…
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/camille-paglia-takes-taylor-swift-845827
@Rollo Tomassi Hello again Rollo, I translated one of your first bloggings into Finnish now. My blog is a bit hybrid one now. And Ill try separate the gender dynamics later on. You are prolly aware that the third world exodus is storming into EU right now. Thanks to Western world bombing the muslims. In a nutshell: Syria/Iraq/Afganistan/Somalia go into civil war and chaos -> European left wing females want them here (you know why) and conducted the asylum system. -> They make exodus here to get “asylum” as in better living standards -> They start raping and doing terror… Read more »
Sosiaalisen yhteensopivuuden teoria Nauramme perseemme kipeäksi tälle alla olevalle kuvalle, mutta miksi se on hauskaa? Se on hauskaa, koska ihmisillä kuten muilla korkean järjestyksen eläimillä on sisäsyntyinen kyky tehdä kognitiivisia vertailuja alitajuisesti. Näemme epätasapainon systeemissä ja teemme deduktiivisia johtopäätöksiä ottaen huomioon yksilölliset olosuhteet. Tämä on pohja sosiaalisen yhteensopivuuden teoriassa. Teoria määritellään suunnilleen seuraavasti: Kaikkien asioiden ollessa tasa-arvoisia yksilö tuppaa vetämään puoleensa ja pariutumaan toisen yksilön kanssa, joka on suunnilleen saman fyysisen vetovoiman tasolla. Sivuhuomautuksena tämä on yleisesti tunnustettu sosiaalisen psykologian teoria, eikä jotain pelimiesteoreetikkojen keksimää. Pähkinän kuoressa se alleviivaa seksuaalisen markkina-arvon dynamiikkaa, ennen kuin muuttujina tulee mukaan “peli”, status ja… Read more »
@Rami
“Katso rikkaan äijän kuvaa uudelleen. Nainen tässä epätasapainossa on uskomuksemme mukaan “Gold Digger”. ”
Gold Digger in quotes in the mild of all of that made me LOL.
kfg “OK, to be fair, one of my childhood war heroes was female. She received the Croix de Guerre for 12 separate actions at the Battle of Verdun. She survived the war, but had been shot through the chest, lost an eye, a leg and ultimately died as a result of her wartime wounds in 1919. In a real life Mulan moment she had been registered as a male, and it was only at her autopsy that her actual sex was discovered.” Just looked this up. I had never heard of this woman. Serbian eh? Tough folk around those parts.… Read more »
@Dutchman
I dunno whether we got a slang term for that yer 😀
Yet*
Shit, I hate this guestbook style conversation stuff.
@Dutchma – How about this? “rahaa kusipää”.
^ Pfft, I bet half of the ppl got Nordic ancestry and live in Wisconsin/ Michigan
@ Liz
Just looked this up. I had never heard of this woman.
Serbian eh? Tough folk around those parts.
She was kind of flighty. An airhead. A real bird brain.
“But she also wasn’t human.”
http://becausebirds.com/2015/11/08/5-things-might-not-know-pigeons/
“Because to a girl ALL GUYS are muscular because we are men. Our weak guy is still stronger than most girls just because he’s a man and his muscles are and body weight and body mechanics just work like that.”
@immoralgables Great to see you around! Ya sure I’ll explain my specific journey. 1) Know a promoter When I first started, I befriended that tall Chad with game. He was a promoter then. And I just leveled with him…explained what was up ‘gonna try to talk to these girls man, try to get better and improve, so if there’s a deal or something let me know and I’m there in your spot.’ And every time he HMU, I was there at the club. I always made sure to buy at least one drink to show that I appreciated him remembering… Read more »
addendum: “double or triple that amount of guys WHO WILL BUY A LOT OF DRINKS will show up.”
“FYI it’s super easy to get dudes and girls to turn out with a deal like that…and like, when people hear about this deal exclusively tied to your list…OMFG your circle will EXPLODE”
@scray
Just curious. What do you get out of the huge social circle? Everyone’s wicked cool and fun to hang out with, or you’re just doing favors for the club manager? Do you get tired of going to the same place all the time?
@Liz: “Serbian eh?”
English.
“Tough folk around those parts.”
“we ended up fighting machine guns with our fingernails and eating dry grass. I starved to death. In fact, I went on breathing.” -Nero Wolfe
And during WWII they would come to think of that as the good old days.
“She was kind of flighty. An airhead. A real bird brain.”
10 points to Gryffind. . ., er, The Gamer.
@Scray Props dude, good to hear the details of how you came up outside of the FRs. Never would’ve imagined you’d have the lifestyle you have now back when you wrote about those girls dissing you on the dance floor when your buddy goaded you to go try to dance with them hey? lol Also I was the same way with having to learn just basic social skills first. Thing is Mystery Method gives you SOMETHING to get out there because the only advice anyone really has for general socializing is like “just be cool man” “just make small talk”… Read more »
God, I read all this game shit all day, it pumps me up, and then I have to go home to maniacal screaming and getting my skull bashed in by toy planes…
And the kids are crazy too!
@Andy “What do you get out of the huge social circle? Everyone’s wicked cool and fun to hang out with, or you’re just doing favors for the club manager? Do you get tired of going to the same place all the time?” Well, if you know a significant % of the people at the club, you just look super high value and your cold approaches are much easier. I’ve gotten asked several times by HBs if I’m some sort of rich dude or celebrity (ya they open me). Within the social circle, I’m the connector, so everyone knows me and… Read more »
But the basic idea of befriending the staff and building connections is good for an older dude. You can use competition with the staff, too. I have my favorite waitresses and bartenders at clubs and other staff are excited when I select them for my attention, lol. I drink water and tip them a buck every other refill. I ask for an extra cocktail straw with my water so that I can recognize it among all the other dancers’ waters and I order “the usual” and people next to me see that and it’s a DHV. (My club isn’t a… Read more »
Interesting https://www.rt.com/usa/325040-hopkins-veterans-penis-transplant/ @Yareally I enjoy going to new venues and practicing things I’ve never done before. At one now it’s a Louisiana bar restaurant. It helps me get out of my comfort zone which I fall back into way to much. One thing that helps me not get down on myself is understanding how socially retarded I’ve been for 20yrs. Yet I’m getting way more into leaning what’s going on around me. Went to a dance yesterday and slightly hijacked the jukebox to play space oddity by David Bowie. After that I checked the FB dance group and a few… Read more »
“God, I read all this game shit all day, it pumps me up, and then I have to go home to maniacal screaming and getting my skull bashed in by toy planes… And the kids are crazy too!” Lol, if I had to do it again…no kids, no wife, probably ever. Make some cash, travel the world, fuck chicks, die young. Being 34 years old and married, I feel like an in-between age/situation that doesn’t fit in either the older generation’s ways or the newer generation’s constant changes. Frustrating. Interesting that James Deen is only 5’7″. I’m 5’8″ and have… Read more »