A comment from Truman gets us started today:
Rollo, it would be great if you could provide some evidence for female solipsism beyond a few examples. From my own experience I could name a few solipsistic women, but I could do the same for men as well, and I’m far from convinced that the trait is universal in women, or even that it’s more prevalent in women than in men.
I will admit that the main reason I split this post into two was because I anticipated this example-seeking. And to their credit my more vocal female commenters didn’t disappoint me with (sometimes over the top) illustrations. If you haven’t had enough of the hamster spinning goodness yet feel free to sift through the comment thread from part one.
However, to begin to work out Truman’s request Voverk from the TRP forum had this example:
One of the most eye opening of the solipsistic world of females was when a plate of mine was giving me directions on where to pick her up. It went something like this:
Her: “When you come to that traffic light, turn over to me.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Her: “Just turn here towards me.”
Me: “How the hell am I supposed to know which way is that? Left or right?”
Her: “I don’t know. Just turn my way”
She eventually gave directions, but it amazed me how hard it is for a woman to put herself in someone else’s shoes, even if she wants to.
Women’s mental point of origin (solipsism) presumes the entire world outside of her agrees with her imperative and mutually shares the importance and priorities of it.
Just like The Red Pill Lens, it takes a sensitivity to it, but you will begin to notice instances of that solipsism all around you if you pay attention. An equalists, feminine-primary upbringing and acculturation predisposes men to accept the manifestations of this solipsism as ‘normal’, so we blow it off or nod in agreement without really considering it. Most plugged-in Blue Pill men simply view this as a standard operating condition for women to such a degree that this solipsistic nature is pushed to the peripheries of their awareness.
It’s just how women are and women are more than happy to have men accept their solipsism as intrinsic to their nature. It’s excusable in the same sense that women hold a “woman’s prerogative” – she always reserves the right to change her mind. When your default is to accept this social imperative any greater inconsistencies fall into line behind it.
We are conditioned to accept that what best benefits women’s sexual strategy is necessarily what benefits men. On both a social and personal level women’s solipsistic importance presumes, by default, that what best serves themselves automatically best serves men – even when they refuse to acknowledge it. Remember, nothing outside the female existential imperative has any more significance than an individual women will allow it. So, perceptually to women, if a man suits a purpose in her self-primary requirements he must also mutually share in that awareness of his purpose. Thus, she maintains that his imperatives are the same as her own.
Societal Reinforcement
Social reinforcement of women’s solipsistic nature is a self-perpetuating cycle. A feminine-primary social order reflects in itself, and then sustains, female solipsism. For most Red Pill aware men this cycle is apparent in women’s overblown self-entitlements, but there’s far more to it than this.
When men accept and reinforce this socially, we feed and confirm women’s solipsistic natures. When men are steeped in a Blue Pill acceptance of what they believe should be men’s condition, and defend (or ’empower’) women’s solipsistic behaviors or manifestations of it, thats when the cycle of affirmation of this solipsism comes full circle.
Recently I called commenter InsanityBytes to the carpet about her first priority being to defend the Sisterhood when Dalrock published a post critical of a woman’s abortions and another who’d joined Ashley Madison then rationalized it away because she was in a loveless marriage with a man who was in his last days.
This is another instance of solipsism; that a woman’s first directive is to defend her sex’s imperatives even above considerations of religious conviction, marriage vows or espoused personal ideology. That’s the depth and breadth of feminine solipsism, and again, this reinforces a cycle of affirming it in women.
Communication
One of the easiest ways to identify women’s solipsistic nature is manifested in their communication style, and as fate would have it I received a fresh comment from a new female commenter on my interview with Niko Choski. I wont bore you with the histrionics of most of it, but her ending comments serve a purpose here:
I’m not lonely, I enjoy solitude…
I am a whole person who needs no other for my own completion.No man, no woman. The qualities identified by different cultures as male and female…are all mine.
Your obsession with division….iis absurd.
I’ve dug into women’s communication styles on more occasions than I can account on this blog, and with regard to how women defer to their solipsistic nature there is no better way to identify it than in the priorities they give to communicating with men and other women.
From Duplicity:
It’s endlessly entertaining (and predictable) to see how often women’s (and feminized men’s) default response to anything they disagree with in regards to gender dynamics is met with a personalization to the contrary. It’s always the “not-in-my-case” story about how their personal anecdotal, exceptional experience categorically proves a universal opposite. By order of degrees, women have a natural tendency for solipsism – any dynamic is interpreted in terms of how it applies to themselves first, and then the greater whole of humanity.
Men tend to draw upon the larger, rational, more empirical meta-observations whether they agree or not, but a woman will almost universally rely upon her isolated personal experience and cling to it as gospel. If it’s true for her, it’s true for everyone, and experience and data that contradict her self-estimations? Those have no bearing because ‘she’s’ not like that.
This personalization is the first order of any argument proffered by women just coming into an awareness of long standing conversations and discussion in the manosphere. It is so predictable it’s now cliché, and each woman’s first retort invariably responds with personalized anecdotes they think trumps any objective, observable evidence to the contrary.
It might be entertaining for Red Pill men to count the instances of personalization in a woman’s rebuttal comment, but it’s not about how many “I”s or “me”s a woman brings to any counterargument – it’s that her first inclination for a counterargument is to use her personal experience and expect it to be accepted as a valid, universal truth by whomever she is presenting it to.
I’s, Me’s and Myself’s are simply the vehicle and manifestation of women’s first directive – a solipsistic mental point of origin; any challenge to that self-importance is invalidated by her personal self-primacy. This mental origin is so automatic and ingrained to such a limbic degree that consideration of it is never an afterthought for her.
This is common to feminine communication preferences (and men who’ve been conditioned to opt into a feminine-primary communication mode). Women focus primarily on the context of the communication (how it makes them feel while communicating), while men focus primarily on the content (the importance of the information being communicated). This isn’t to exclude men from using personal experiences to help illustrate a point, but the intent comes from a different motive. That motive is an attempt to better understand the content and information of that issue, not an exercise in self-affirmation that feminine solipsism requires to preserve a woman’s ego-investments (usually her solipsistic mental point of origin).
The most visible manifestation of women’s rudimentary solipsism is the priority with which they expect their personal, existential, experience to be considered the most valid, legitimate and universal truth apparent in any debate.
Middle of the Story Syndrome
One thing I’ve been frustrated with by virtually every woman I’ve ever known in my life is their tendency to begin a conversation in the middle of a story; all the while expecting men to understand every nuance and be familiar with minute ‘feely’ detail that made up the backstory that’s never forthcoming.
I swear, every woman I’ve known has done this with me at some time. The presumption is that their story is of such importance that bothering with any pretext, or outlining and describing the events and information that led up to that mid-way vitally important element that made them feel a certain way is all that should matter to a listener.
Women have an uncanny way of accepting this when they relate stories among themselves; gleaning incidental details of the backstory as the teller goes on.
There’s an ironic feminine-operative social convention that complains that “men aren’t good listeners” or “men don’t listen” to what women are telling them. This convention is really another manifestation of a solipsistic mindset with regard to communication.
It isn’t that men don’t listen, it’s that our communication styles focus on content information, not the contextual ‘feel’ of what’s being communicated by women. Women, above all else, hate to repeat themselves. Not because of the inconvenience, but because men ‘not listening’ and requiring a repetition of that information conflicts with her own self-primary solipsism.
The want for a ‘good listener’ is really the want for a man who affirms her self-priority by not needing to be told something that confirms that priority more than once. And this confirmation should never require explanation or and understanding of the backstory of events that made it feel important to her.
Women have an inherent pretext in communication that always begins with themselves. In fact, most are so sure of their solipsistic, personal truth that glaring objectivity never enters their minds; at least not initially. As I mentioned in the first installment, women are entirely capable of applying reason, rationality and pragmatism as well as men, it’s just that this isn’t their first mental order when confronted with a need for it. Just as a girl can be taught to throw an object as well as it comes naturally to a boy, a reasoned transcendence above her solipsism, one that considers the individuated existences of others’ experiences takes a learned effort.
Ladies First
Luxocrat had a great illustration as well:
I asked my ex that last month, if her kids came first or if I did. She paused and said “I really don’t know. That’s a hard one.” I replied “Then it’s your kids.” I recall my ex-wife reading one of those save your marriage books right after I made it clear I was leaving. She read me a line in it and said she sees how she was wrong. The line went something like this: “If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to understand your husband comes first, even before your children. They must be taught by you, their mother, that he is head of the household and respect must be given. The only way they’ll see that is by your demostrating by your actions that this is so.”
I still left though.
The irony in this instance is that for all of the humble deference this seemingly good advice promotes, it still presumes a woman is already the primary source of authority who ‘allows’ her husband to be “the man”. I’ve heard similar advice espoused by evangelical pastors making Pollyanna attempts at ‘granting headship’ to husbands and fathers from their reluctant wives. The inherent flaw is that these men already begin from a perspective that women are in a position of unquestioned primacy and require their permission to be ‘men’.
In a way they are unwittingly acknowledging women’s solipsism (and perpetuating the cycle) as a default source of authority. That a woman would need to be taught to defer authority to her husband belies two things; first, her solipsistic mental point of origin and second, that her man isn’t a man who inspires that deference.
It’s easy to see how a Beta man wouldn’t be someone that would naturally prompt a woman to go against her natural solipsism, but in Luxocrats position (I presume Alpha since he walked) there is a conflict women have to confront in themselves.
In a social order that reinforces the entitlements presumed by women’s solipsism there develops an internal conflict between the need for an optimized Hypergamy and the ego-investments a woman’s solipsism demands to preserve it. As a woman progresses towards the Wall and a lessened capacity to optimize both sides (AF/BB) of Hypergamy this conflict comes to a head. The necessities of long term provisioning war with the self-importance of solipsism at the risk of her losing out on preserving both (and having a guy like Luxocrat simply walk away from her).
@ user who brought this up “Saw this yesterday on The Peaceful Wifehttp://peacefulwife.com/2015/09/10/dont-tell-your-husband-i-am-only-respecting-you-because-god-says-i-have-to/ … wives being instructed to start respecting their husbands, but to be “secretive” in not coming right out and saying that they still do NOT respect them and that they’re just doing it because God wants them to. Even if that is their real reason.” Earlier in life I always obsessed about what a woman “thought”. Then after realizing that women don’t know what they are thinking most of the time. I gave up. I posit – if you are getting a pleasing relationship where she displays… Read more »
“I posit – if you are getting a pleasing relationship where she displays all the respect and admiration you desire… why worry?”
Here is the kernel of truth in the saying “Happy wife, Happy life!” the problem is: we have all been lied to about what makes women “happy”.
So…Embrace the suck?
Ha ha!
I can do that. Fuck yeah.
@BP: “Duty sex is bad because women do everything they can to make it as unpleasant and dehumanizing as possible.”
‘Duty sex’ is only good is she has (solipsistically) rationalised that it’s her duty to satisfy you…without you negotiating for it. Any other form is bad…in my opinion.
If you are in a LTR, you will get duty sex. There’s just no way to avoid it if you intend on having sex often. (usually men have higher drives, so if you’re getting you’re fill, she’s likely getting more than hers.) OK duty sex comes from her rationalizing its in her best interest. To me “good” duty sex comes when she simply wants to please you, without having to rationalize it at all. She just wants to make you happy, so it isn’t even a chore for her. If you can feel the “duty” oozing from her while your… Read more »
While I can admit to way too much Beta behavior on my part over the years, there were two things I instinctively grasped and never let go of throughout my life: 1) I’ve never had a woman give me anything other than enthusiastic sex. If they began to give signs it might become duty sex, I ended things. 2) I never wanted to be the plan B provisioning man. When I was in my teens, I wanted to either meet a chick young before I had any money and know she was with me because she was in to me,… Read more »
@ keyser
Women would fuck the alphas non stop.
A 15 years old would fuck Johnny Depp 24/7.
This is another way of saying that women’s libido is responsive, while men’s libido is always on. Around attractive men, women experience a spike in libido.
Re duty sex.
That’s all I’ve ever done with the wife is negotiate. Ltr duty sex would be fine is she was into me enough to not rationalize it, but she isn’t.
CaveClown – “That’s all I’ve ever done with the wife is negotiate. Ltr duty sex would be fine is she was into me enough to not rationalize it, but she isn’t.” Sex with my ex went from: “This guy is the shit and I want to fuck him!” to “I want to make him happy” sex to “Its in my best interests to have sex with him” to “I’m only fucking you because I have to” in the span of about 12 years. I can’t describe how demoralizing that last type was, other than to tell you that at 38… Read more »
Remember how I used to whine about how my wife was withholding sex? And that that had lasted for five years?
It was extremely embarrassing to admit that and freed me all at the same time.
@Seraph – “Rollo’s” – A masterpiece. Well done. This thread is one of the best in a long time. Too many guys to call out by name, just reading along is brilliant, really.
Jeremy said “I swear to god, at some point I’m going to start assuming that Rollo hired someone to act like the very thing he writes about. It’s just too f-ing perfect.”
Hah, ya, absolutely, but then we see her behavior and opinions in the women around us in our daily lives and realize that AWALT.
@SGT – That study you linked to wrt female hiring preferences for tenure track jobs reveals something I’m seeing everywhere in the corporate world. Women treat other women with outright preference in hiring and when choosing to do business with them (unless you seduce them as I do, tee hee). I remember another bit of research (I know I’m lazy for not sharing the cite sorry, no time before i’m out for a while) that showed how strong female ingroup preferences are versus males. The research showed that men actually had little ingroup preferences but that women had huge ingroup… Read more »
speaking of duty sex… I’ve done it for my LTRs… 🙂 Anyway this is the way I see it. If a woman is having sex with you things are ok. Perhaps she is not moaning enough or exhibits enough interest to be sexy but she is doing it. I have seen too many marriages end. And not end because the guy was not a good provider, father, companion. But it ended because the woman got complacent and looked at him as a steady income stream… an income stream that if she played her cards right in a divorce did not… Read more »
So withholding sex on the FIRST day of our marriage was probably a big red flag? Lol
As embarassing as it is to admit all this, it sure helps ME to realize, and admit how ridiculous I have been with all this.
Where in the actual fuck did I put my testicles?
If found, drop in any mailbox…the postage is guaranteed.
@CaveClown
So withholding sex on the FIRST day of our marriage was probably a big red flag? Lol
… I think even in my bluest of Blue Pill days, I would have called for an annulment on that one. Cripes.
@CaveClown
Buddy, I struggled with the same thing, when I first became unplugged…
We can’t continue to beat ourselves up for not knowing what we didn’t know when we didn’t know, when we didn’t know it.
At some point you have to forgive yourself and move on. This is at the core of what happens when you finally get to ‘acceptance’… you forgive yourself.
FWIW, if you recognize @Teddj4g from MMSL, then no doubt we crossed paths there too. I moved on (for obvious reasons) and grew some roots here, but always good to see familiar ‘faces’.
Relax, Cavey, you’re ahead of the field. Because you’ve realized something is wrong, and it’s definitely not your head. You’ll be fine. Concentrate on tactics more than strategy, I’d advise.
My spot on the guest-list to the manosphere party was tapping “Women are insane” into the google. Guess what? It seems to have happened to other guys too. Who knew?
Every journey begins with a single step (although as the Irish say, “To get there, I wouldn’t begin from here”).
So, Tam, why did you google “women are insane?”
Just got done seening Jeremy and Rollo.
Man I hope to meet everyone here in person. Least for a good conversation.
One of my best friends is visiting and he just told a story about how a couple guys we knew were basically ready to overdose over some married bitch who was fucking around with them both at the same time. These guys were great musicians and could obviously pull better pussy if they knew what was outside of hell (aka New Jersey, I’m glad I moved away from ugly fat bitches with attitude). This shit is real, and I feel like we’re engaged in something important here. I hope he’ll talk some sense into them for me.
“So withholding sex on the FIRST day of our marriage was probably a big red flag? Lol”
I wouldn’t be that strict. The commitment coming with a marriage is a huge turn off for women. The mistake is marrying. Or not getting caught kissing with the bridesmaid.
@Caveclown – Let yourself off the hook. You were lied to, hoodwinked, brainwashed, and trained like Pavlov’s dog to be Blue Pill. As we all were. What’s amazing is that you’ve seen beyond it. It’s kind of an honor to witness someone unplug live and in living color – keep at it. You are doing nothing short of reclaiming your life and you honor as a man. I can’t remember now who says this on this site, but he’s quite right. KFG maybe? You have to give negative feedback for negative behavior. You also need to turn any of her… Read more »
Scribblerg : “You want to really go alpha dog on her? Have sex with her but refuse to fuck her in her pussy. Fuck her mouth and ass, without asking or discussing it at all. Just fucking take her and treat her like the dirty slut she is. Tell her if she wants to get off, she can do it herself. Tell her you are testing her because you suspect she wants to get pregnant so you are seeing if she really wants you sexually – fuck with her head. Blow a load down her throat and up her butt,… Read more »
Grudge ass fuck?
Haha!
Like I’ve ever been allowed in her ass!
Good time to go for it then, lol! Be fun to see just how submissive she would get in an attempt to keep me. There’s no real attraction from her to me, so it will be fun to watch her little hamster run anyway. Just how submissive do I have to be to keep him? Nice, I shall enjoy it.
How is it I can run a multi state, multi million dollar company and be this beta with her?
This is what I need to hear!
“How is it I can run a multi state, multi million dollar company and be this beta with her?”
Because we were raised and trained to put the pussy on a pedestal.
@Scribblerg Hah, epic. I appreciate the ‘straight sex talk,’ we men talk so little about what’s possible, desirable, and effective these days. A combination of puritanical pearl-clutching and FI shaming/indoctrination, I guess. It takes an alpha frame to start with to pull this sort of thing off, of course. I’m not there yet, myself, but even starting to see this come together is gratifying. You start to see flashes of how you can actually make a woman fall in love with you and it’s a very, ah, counterintuitive process at times. Until you change your intuitions. Re: negative feedback –… Read more »
@CaveClown
That’s more like it.
“I can’t remember now who says this on this site, but he’s quite right. KFG maybe? You have to give negative feedback for negative behavior. You also need to turn any of her actions into your advantage.” I might have said it that way, but I don’t recall it. One of my principle maxims states the case in the inverse form: You cannot give positive feedback for negative behavior, which is the behavior besetting 99 44/100% of blue pill providers. Girl acting up? Buy her candy, flowers and take her to dinner to make her happy. Yeah, I want my… Read more »
The cure for women’s solipsism is DOMINANCE.
It is in women’s DNA to be dominated, it is biology.
feminists spend half of their lives pretending they don’t like being dominated , and the other half convincing men not to be dominant.
Some men get convinced and some men don’t.
Solipsism is on its highest gear when she is with a non dominant beta.
Ps,
Women, Good luck fighting biology.
Way of topic yet it’s been on my mind since seening Rollo
How do you build AF alpha mindset with beta bux provider in yourself to be the ultimate version of female complimentary companiship? It’s been on my mind all morning. I’ve been focusing my energys on bettering myself. But I don’t think that’s created a balance. Any links to pass articles I can read to journal about?
Maybe that’s a Male mirroring way of just focusing on myself in connection to my world.
Change is hard but I’m getting their.
“There is nothing like a grudge-assfuck when the headcase ex does a 180.” I’d be careful with that. She will like it and therefor repeat that behavior to get it again. The Dr. Borderline Master of Psychology I’ve been fucking for several months now tried something like that. The only viable punishment is no attention at all. To give a little field report regarding BPD: I’ve been doing it mostly to find out what happens, when you give such a women a strong alpha frame and good awareness for all those manipulations. After enthusiastic sex in the beginning followed some… Read more »
One more thing: Getting “the alpha treatment” is not enough. I got that all the time and she was still trying.
@ soze “The cure for women’s solipsism is DOMINANCE. It is in women’s DNA to be dominated, it is biology.” I wholly agree. I was going to put this out there and this is a great intro. Thinking that solipsism is an innate quality of a mating strategy is an interesting theory. But another theory for someone who has experience with non-western women, would be: women greatly desire to be in a solipsistic bubble. In fact I firmly believe that nearly all women would love to be a kept woman with a small world of experiences. In my area there… Read more »
@LH – This is what cell phone cameras and and other video recording devices are for. She starts to act up, whip out the cell phone and start recording. Exit the premises and call the police. When it’s on video, the cops will listen to you. Especially if you call first. In fact, it’s even better if she goes apeshit at your place and you leave her inside and call the cops. @Cave – The harsher you are with her sexually now, the more she will like it. Whatever the case, you will fuck with her head and she surely… Read more »
@Ang – Great stuff, truly. It seems to me that this solipsistic bubble is nothing more than a childlike state. Young kids are like this, the experiences of others often don’t seem real to them. One way to imagine solipsism is to think of the solipsist as looking at the world as a giant TV show being played inside his/her eyes. And that it’s playing for only him/her. This is childlike. But if women were always like this, well then, we can’t expect more can we? Yet put something at stake that they are interested in and well, katie bar… Read more »
Scribblerg : ” I think feminism is essentially a burst of rage from women who realize they are submissive and not as powerful, courageous, and strong as men are. They hate being women, hence do everything they can to change women into men. It’s this loathing of femininity that drives everything they do, not ideology.” I agree. Feminists are women who hates the biological fact of NEEDING To be dominated. It is the war within, it is not the war against (dominant) men. It is like saying, I hate women’s bodies because they make me have a hard on. Ps,… Read more »
@Ang,
That solipsistic bubble + 10 years of feminism is punctured by a dominant dick.
Re: The Conference This is probably the wrong place to post this, but in my exhaustive search (3 minutes) I couldn’t find another thread on the conference and thoughts about it. So this is OT for this post by Rollo. I enjoyed myself quite a bit. I was surprised by just about everything there. It started first with the announcement of the venue. The venue was great, Rollo wasn’t kidding there, but it wasn’t right across the street from the Bellagio. So I either read something wrong a few weeks ago, or it changed. No biggie really, I was just… Read more »
@Jeremy From where you left off. Went over to te Sinatra in the income off the Vegas strip was with Christian Goldman Tanner Rollo and two other people. Spoke about the red pill and how it comes up at weird points Sam Botta was their and had some incredible insigths on the mansphere and authenticity. Went over story’s from each person and ways of dealing with BPD. I think being able to go out to lunch as a group would have been a huge plus especially to help Each person their to get to know each other. The diversity of… Read more »
Oh, and @Rollo & other presenters, grats on getting coined by the Military folk in the room, that is a tremendous honor. I was never military, have no been coined, never expect to, I know what it means.
@Jeremy – Tremendous report. I will take the f2f encounter with Christian to heart, I’m not a fan but in truth have always been way too put off too quickly to spend any time on it. Perhaps he deserves a second look.
As for your commentary on Rollo’s presentation, I felt like you were describing every attempt I’ve made to ‘splain the Red Pill to any guy.
Someone putting on a conference might be interested in asking me to speak about my dance game. My dance game is turning out to be a very low energy (heh) endeavor. The dancing is relatively high energy, involving power runs down the floor turning the girl a lot, but I don’t need to do much else to obtain feminine interest. I’ve been cold-approached several times recently by women. Two last Friday night–SMV 6 & 7. The 7 was thru a broad I know. The 6 was an out-of-towner. A week ago Sat. a woman (SMV6) cold-approached me and asked me… Read more »
@scribblerg Christian did not try to sell himself nor his own services offered off his blog/etc the entire conference as far as I could detect. I think he only once mentioned them in passing because they pertained to a story he was telling. He was friendly, engaged, and clearly has a lot of respect for the men he invited to speak. Honestly, I got the impression he felt like he was aiming low for the conference just to get a feel for the interest, and that he wanted to do more. I expect the group will try to hold another… Read more »
We made an effort to get everyone’s input at he end of the conference, and if we do it again next year we’ll definitely be doing a meet and greet and a casual beer and pretzels gathering afterwards.
The VIP dinner at Sinatra’s was memorable and I want to make something like that more accessible to more guys.
I like Vegas for the site. Good energy, beautiful women everywhere.
Good to hear Vegas was a success! Meanwhile I let Dr. Borderline teach me some psychological theory. “Game” can be considered as something like a psychodynamic therapy and I wonder if the community could get something from those intellectual sources too. Rollo isn’t into psychoanalytical approaches as I know, but since the therapist has to be one step ahead of the patient in these approaches I wonder how much the wisdom of those therapists could add to our understanding of solipsism. These things seem all to be about “reverse engineering of solipsism”. @scribbler: Her calling police isn’t my worry. She… Read more »
Rollo Tomassi was at the podium for 133 minutes. It seemed more like 11 minutes. If we were not at the end of the time allotment at the venue, the questions for Rollo would have continued. His insights from this day are treasures. In “The Rational Male” (Volume 1) Rollo Tomassi says I’m not a psychologist, or a PUA, or a men’s rights activist, or a motivational speaker. I’m just a guy who’s connected some dots. But narrating this book has shown me that Rollo Tomassi has this unique, masterful way of arranging words to simplify the most difficult concepts.… Read more »
“Saw this yesterday on The Peaceful Wifehttp://peacefulwife.com/2015/09/10/dont-tell-your-husband-i-am-only-respecting-you-because-god-says-i-have-to/ … wives being instructed to start respecting their husbands, but to be “secretive” in not coming right out and saying that they still do NOT respect them and that they’re just doing it because God wants them to. ”
And once again, Dragonfly never passes up an opportunity to attack another woman and to speak down about her behind her back. There can be only one pretty princess, right Dragonfly?
Congrats on the conference Rollo!
I’m def gonna go next year! Sounds like quite a learning experience! (if I’m living under a bridge from the divorce, I’ll just hitchhike to get there)
“@Cave – The harsher you are with her sexually now, the more she will like it. Whatever the case, you will fuck with her head and she surely deserves it. You also deserve to take her ass virginity, I guarantee you it will help you develop that smirk Bruce Lee caouldn’t seem to wipe off his face. Fyi, ass sex is the true test of dominance, women only allow a man they’ve submitted to entrance to the back door. Same thing with swallowing cum.” Tried for the back door yesterday, no go. So I fucked her and went to finish… Read more »
““How is it I can run a multi state, multi million dollar company and be this beta with her?”
Because we were raised and trained to put the pussy on a pedestal.”
Yes I was. My mother was a rape and attempted murder victim when she was a teen. You can imagine how that was used in the raising of a boy. Pretty confident she didn’t really want a boy, maybe because she said that several times? Oh well, the red pill has helped me find peace with my mother and how she is.
theasdgamer,
I’d be very interested in hearing about your dance game. Before I married I was active in group (line, contra…sort of boring) and beginning to learn (couples) dancing. Even as a beginner found it to be quite the ticket with women. Predictably the ex and I could not dance together as she was unable/unwilling to allow me to lead.
What would be the basic repertoire of LFD for me to have decent game on the dance floor? (rugby talks about balboa, but that looks a little specialized but interesting nonetheless.)
Thanks in advance.
Insanitybytes,
Here you go again about ” worthy of MY respect “.
I never ever in my life sought a woman’s respect.
Worthy of ANY woman’s respect mean ZERO to me,women should strive to be worthy of MY respect.
I want a toilet seat that is worthy of my ass to sit on when I take a shit.
Worthy of my respect is another self entitlement bullshits . Who the hell are you to deserve any respect?
Women think they’re God.
3 years old girl want somebody “worthy of her respect”! Hahaha, hehehe.
I got very, very angry over the weekend. Spittin’ nails type angry. Because ya’ll know what? I have my beta mindset problems, I have my moments of weakness, I have put far too much stock into what the women in my life think of me, I live in fear (scarcity & thirst) but what I just wrote: “Then she insisted I go down on her. I told her no, and instead finger fucked her very roughly. She came, and then complained that I was so rough. My response was to slap her ass and leave a red mark.” Is way… Read more »
“I want a toilet seat that is worthy of my ass to sit on when I take a shit.”
A man who perceives women as nothing more than a toilet seat is so far beneath me as to be worthy of only my pity. Would I submit to such a man? Hell no.
http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/29/respect/
http://therationalmale.com/2015/04/07/admiration-respect/
Respect is not a feeling. Respect is a cautionary prejudice that manifests in actions that demonstrate an awareness of potential risks. Fear and admiration are feelings that impact how respect is shown. The intensity and ratio of those feelings will be what determines how respect is demonstrated.
“While I’m not normally a “go back and restart the fight” kind of guy, in this case, I believe you should absolutely go back to that busy-body little bitch who dressed you down and tell her what you think of her.” Thanks ScribblerG. I wasn’t sure if it was just a bad idea to try and pick this back up again. I’m not gonna force it, but if there’s a chance or she tries to open convo with me I’m absolutely going to light up about it. I like explaining things but I’ll do my best to avoid discussing anything… Read more »
Insanity,
“worthy of only MY pity.” . we’re even Steven.
Here you go again, MY pity.
I feel sorry for Mr. Bytes (the real toilet seat) who is gamed with trickery by a manipulative used up hag.
I’m sure you’d love to suck Ashton Kutcher’s Dick with no “worthy of MY respect required” .
Ps,
What is the rewards for earning your holly respect?
How to avoid your holly Indignation/pity?
Do you think you are the Messiah?
Those were both very good posts, Tomassi. Something I find interesting here, you said, “I can remember a period in my 20s when I heard countless times “Rollo, you need to / you don’t respect women” from both women and (who I thought at the time were) men as if by saying this to me I would stop wanting to hook up with the strippers, groupies and club girls I was getting with then…” Now see, that reads as some basic respect for women to me, not disrespect at all. Men who hang out with dancers and club girls exhibit… Read more »
The problem with what passes for ‘respect’ with women is that their understanding of it comes from expecting a default, unearned respect for no other reason than they were born female. It’s yet one more default entitlement for women and men are only too ready to adopt it and the expectation of it, but what they believe is respect is really just their manifestations of putting women on a pedestal (really the Feminine Imperative). As such women are then free to define for themselves what they believe “respect” and its proper applications should be for men and themselves. Naturally this… Read more »
@insanity,
Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?
I’m sure you would , and I’m sure Mr . bytes would help you with your solipsism to make it okay in the eyes of God by donating half of the proceedings to Church.
@Cave – Very interesting field report. You could see the hamster spinning – which was the real point of all this. It’s all negotiated desire with her and she’s merely trying to rope you back in. Take what you want and leave the rest. And if she doesn’t want to do what you want to do sexually, next her in that dept – but leave her quickly no matter what. Personal note, I never blow on a woman’s face, I don’t want to degrade them. Swallowing is nice because of them sucking through your orgasm, it feels fantastic. The ass?… Read more »
@Badpainter “Respect is not a feeling. Respect is a cautionary prejudice that manifests in actions that demonstrate an awareness of potential risks. Fear and admiration are feelings that impact how respect is shown. The intensity and ratio of those feelings will be what determines how respect is demonstrated.” …damn. That’s excellent. I’ve been thinking about respect lately, and I’ve basically concluded that it is fundamentally rooted in a person’s best assessment of their circumstance. It just happens when a person subconsciously realizes that it is necessary for them to show it. As such, it cannot be forced and it cannot… Read more »
@ longgone Start with waltz because it’s basic to all LFD. It gives you frame and posture, which are very important for dancing and game. Start with waltz (with an instructor who will stress those things!), but don’t only start with waltz. I was taking five group lessons a week in five different dances right off the bat. I had two left feet and it was all very confusing at first, but I learned rapidly. At the country bar where I was cold-approached last Friday, I’m in competition with a body builder who’s an excellent dancer. He’s much younger and… Read more »
@CaveClown One more thing. You’ve said she’s a shitty lay. You gave her a chance just now at proving otherwise; ya gave her a fucking good window to show you her slutty side. She didn’t. So now you ignore her, as totally as possible. She’s not hot for you, so she’s useless to you. If she tries to get with you sexually, push her away. Your attitude: why the fuck would I want to have sex with you? You kinda suck at it. I’ve got better things to save my nut for lol. This, of course, is the only way… Read more »
@ASD
If women are trying to feel your muscles, you want there to be something for them to feel. Past that, getting them to WANT to feel them is the far more important step.
Insanity, ” Men who hang out with dancers and club girls exhibit a fondness for women.” …… “Exhibit fondness”? Those men want to fuck.
“Those are the kind of men I’ve always enjoyed being around, had the best conversations with.”…..were you a Stripper?
” That is the kind of man I married.” . Mr bytes was a regular at a strip club?
” Those are the kind of men that are easy to respect.(easy to manipulate)”
Those are the men with no options.
Congratulations Mr. Bytes.
@Cave – And boom, your Blue Pillness has been exploded, very nice. To observe it is magnificent. I had exactly the same experience with my ex during our endgame decades ago. Why on earth am I groveling to this bitch? I don’t grovel to anyone and in fact, just like you, in the rest of my life I’m in leadership roles and my advice is sought after. It was just so incongruent to be in the position I was with my ex. The tone @IB exudes is so familiar, right? A presumed sense of superiority based on exactly nothing. Harsh… Read more »
@ CaveClown I highly recommend gymnastics strength training. Lots of free resources online. I swear that having more control over your body gives you more confidence by default. Most people in modern society have pretty severe mobility restrictions, and doing some gymnastics strength training can help identify these restrictions and ultimately fix them. I’d keep lifting and definitely keep up with martial arts. If you can find a sparring partner, that would be ideal. Then you can really build confidence: you get used to having punches thrown at you, grappling, etc. with a real person. And the responses become automatic.… Read more »
I do hate that Aretha Franklin song. Even when I was a child it always grated me wrong. It comes off as the whinings of a woman who wants to be put on a pedestal. No man in his right mind would compose or sing such a song, men understand that respect is earned not demanded.
Men also don’t expect it by default, or from virtue of being born male.
You want a graphic illustration of what I mean by men’s burden of performance? Look no further than the stark difference in how men and women view respect.
@CaveClown, As embarassing as it is to admit all this, it sure helps ME to realize, and admit how ridiculous I have been with all this. Keep this in mind… You weren’t ridiculous. That’s a self shaming phrase you are using on yourself. I have used it on myself, and a couple of others here set me straight. You were conditioned to be the way you are by a number of factors. You were given only select information, much of it wrong, which informed your mindset and your behavior. A few threads back Rollo was questioning whether the Matrix analogy… Read more »
@ Forge
If women are trying to feel your muscles, you want there to be something for them to feel.
Cosign. I have 14″ biceps. Larger than average and girls like them, but they don’t attract attention like a body builder’s 16″ biceps do.
@asdgamer, heh, I have 16″ biceps. I’m always wanting them to be 18″.
“The problem with what passes for ‘respect’ with women is that their understanding of it comes from expecting a default, unearned respect for no other reason than they were born female.” We are Tomassi, innately and biologically programmed to receive it, but it is not respect so much as it is protection. I don’t think women even really desire respect? We desire something more akin to provision, protection. Do you think I desire the respect of some of the wankers who post here? Not at all, they’ve already been nixed and deemed unworthy. That is just female biology at play.… Read more »
@IB, I understand that your first directive here is to insult my readers, and you may not desire their respect, but you most definitely expect it as a default point of origin in all your relationships with men.
“their understanding of it comes from expecting a default, unearned respect for no other reason than they were born female.” every single one of us men was already a woman. in the womb. then our brains got that testosterone wash at the perfect moment, our clits turned into cocks and our pussy lips became balls. men are the extra step. testosterone is hard on the developing body. we survived it and came out men. women automatically respect (and envy) testosterone. this is why no one talks about the need to respect men. it is implied by our existence. we already… Read more »
A conversation with men at a strip club is worthy / easy to respect by Insanity.
May I ask you Insanity what was being conversed at a Strip Club?
The truth about “Worthy of MY respect ” = worthy of MY HOLLY pussy.
insanitybytes22 September 14th, 2015 at 12:03 pm Do you think I desire the respect of some of the wankers who post here? Not at all, they’ve already been nixed and deemed unworthy. That is just female biology at play. I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean: insanitybytes22 September 6th, 2015 at 4:14 pm “A man should only ever have oneitis for himself. Selfish, self-serving, aloof, indifferent, unpredictable, insatiable. This is what she wants.” Really? Because if I had a man like that, I think I’d just turn him into a bad smell coming from my attic. Yes,… Read more »
“I highly recommend gymnastics strength training.”
That is my general recommendation for beginners as well, particularly for those who wish to be “athletic,” with little interest in being a mass monster.
As I have written here before, calisthenics are about moving your body through space and weight work is about moving objects through space, and I consider having control of your own body as the more fundamental skill set.
And there’s no reason you can’t be working with a light bar learning lifting technique at the same time.
“Men also don’t expect it by default, or from virtue of being born male.” Actually, you really do , Tomassi. Men perceive themselves as very entitled. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. I have to go with Fleezer on this, when he says, “women automatically respect (and envy) testosterone. this is why no one talks about the need to respect men. it is implied by our existence.” That’s it exactly, except perhaps it isn’t envy so much, as it is attraction, desire. Respect is implied by men’s existence. “I understand that your first directive here is to… Read more »
Of course not, strippers are there because they’ve learned to leverage their sexuality and the marginal amount of personal attention that men are simply unused to in their everyday lives. But I will say those same strippers “date” men whom they expect to respect pedestalize them. I’ve yet to meet the woman who was taught by her mother that she needs to have a default respect for men in the same degree as boys have it hammered into them that they must have a default respect for women by their fathers, by their peers, by the media, by their single… Read more »
@insanitybytes22 Yes Tomassi, respect is the point of origin for all my relationships with men. MY ability to respect them. If they are not worthy of my respect, then no relationship. Women do not desire respect from men so much. We desire to be seen, to be valued, to be admired, to be delighted in, but respect is not a priority. Do you think all those dancers and club girls were working because they desire men’s respect?…A man who perceives women as nothing more than a toilet seat is so far beneath me as to be worthy of only my… Read more »
Insanity “We are Tomassi, innately and biologically programmed to receive it,”. Biologically programmed to receive a dick in your pussy. What next, women’s respect found in DNA? “but it is not respect so much as it is protection.” Make up your fucking mind. We are still discussing “respect entitlement”. ” I don’t think women even really desire respect?” You had been annoying us with “worthy of my respect” and now you don’t wanted anymore? In the same post you say it is biologically programmed to be respected and don’t desire it ! “We desire something more akin to provision, protection.”… Read more »
“Wow… as to your english vocabulary… I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Wow, your inability to grasp some basic concepts is EXACTLY what I thought it was the first time.
Any man that thinks offering himself, his sexuality to a woman, is the equivalent of taking a dump on her, is a man full of self loathing who does not value his own self.
@IB, I think you need to look up Aretha Franklin on twitter and discuss women’s need for respect.
How many of the women in this documentary do you think share your assessment of default feminine respect?
http://therationalmale.com/2015/03/13/bachelor-nation/
Shadowboxing too. Knowing how to throw a really hard punch has everything to do with good form. You literally throw punches — generate the torque and momentum with your feet and hips. Hooks, crosses, overhands, jabs — they all require their own way to generate force. You also guide punches with your feet and hips. Your arms are along for the ride, more or less. I threw my shoulder out back when I had no idea what I was doing, especially with hooks. You should be able to punch the air as hard as you can with shadowboxing and not… Read more »
Insanity, make up your mind, you either want respect or you don’t.
Found this biceps site:
http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/bigger-biceps
Looks helpful.
http://www.timinvermont.com/fitness/measure.htm
For measurements.
@Softek Once I was talking with a friend in a room when my girl went walking past in the hallway. I jumped out of the room straight at her, yelling ‘YAH!’ with a fist pulled back. She flattened against the opposite wall, I brought my fist whipping toward her and stopped it an inch in front of her face (PSA: decade of martial arts experience, don’t try this at home, etc). She stood there thunderstruck for a second, wide eyes, flat against the wall. “Woah. I would’ve been dead,” she said, tiny voice. I laughed and let her go. One… Read more »
Insanity,
“Do you think all those dancers and club girls were working because they desire men’s respect?”
The strippers Desire men’s $20 by showing PUSSIES .
Because women know biologically by showing their pussies, men give the $20.
It is the power of the Pussy NOT the power of “biological respect ” .
Insanity, you either want respect or you don’t. You can’t in one post claim that a man that disrespects you is “so far beneath you” as to not even get your pity; And then in a subsequent post say that “Women don’t want respect so much.” You’re literally reframing your thoughts from comment to comment now, twisting in the wind, probably only getting a little emotional boost from the attention and disrespect the men here are giving you, while doing anything you can to keep the attention going. I would wager that most women who lurk here, and those who… Read more »
@Rollo
Interesting. So you’re saying that women respect men differently (i.e. it has to be a default, reflexive sort of thing) because they expect that sort of respect from a man simply by virtue of being female. And they’re unable to see how men’s conception of respect (being based more upon admiration of accomplishment) differs from their own, or how they could provide respect in that fashion.
The thing is, we often don’t respect them by our own, masculine standard of respect. Pedestalization is different from respect, I feel, though I’m having difficulty explaining why.
Because in our blue pill conditioning we’re taught from a very early age that pedestalization is respect for women, and never to expect any reciprocation or appreciation of that resect.
Make yourself useful, carry her books home for her from school, never hit a girl, respect, defer and every girl will probably respond in kind,…but never, ever expect or feel you are owed her intimacies. Just do these things because you are a gentleman who ‘respects’ women for being women.
theasdgamer, I dance Viennese-style waltz, but haven’t in 15 years or so. I had trouble with dizziness sometimes and needed to remember the pause- and-reverse move to counteract it. I think I could pick it back up again fairly easily. (There’s some other move called a waltz, but being of Austrian heritage I never paid any attention to it.) I was really asking about what other basic couples dances are current. Two-step is one I’m interested in as well as polka (which I’ve faked my way through sometimes), but these two seem to have limited venues in which to use… Read more »
Insanity “Any man that thinks offering himself, his sexuality to a woman, is the equivalent of taking a dump on her, is a man full of self loathing who does not value his own self.”
And this is brought to you by a woman who wants to kill a man and hiding him in the Attic and then uses it as a fertilizer.
As with ‘love,’ it looks like we’re describing two different concepts with one word – the female conception of respect and the male conception of respect. I think that ‘pedestalization’ does passably well to cover the female concept of ‘respect.’ I haven’t run across a good one for the female conception of ‘love’ yet. Would it be accurate to say, then, that women generally do not respect men – they either pedestalize them, or they disdain them? I have seen women seemingly respect men, truly. But it’s rare. I suppose it probably takes as much training as it does to… Read more »
“Pedestalization is different from respect, I feel, though I’m having difficulty explaining why.”
Because a man’s respect has to be earned.
@ Forge Agreed about not overdoing it. The reason it excited her so much was because it was completely unexpected. Pure reflex. I didn’t plan it out and she had no idea I was going to react that way — I didn’t either. It just happened. Realizing women are like children helped me a lot. They don’t crave equalism at all. They want a rock, a man — someone that complements the soft/receptive nature of their gender. Capitalizing on gender differences helped me a lot. Not being AFRAID to capitalize on those differences, and emphasize them, has helped me a… Read more »
“Do you think all those dancers and club girls were working because they desire men’s respect?”
Insanity,
You are almost there, confess, this is the closest you ever came to admit the truth.
Pussy=respect.
How many of the women in this documentary do you think share your assessment of default feminine respect? http://therationalmale.com/2015/03/13/bachelor-nation/ I watched this when you first posted this. It is not that long, so I would recommend everyone watch it for all it illustrates. It is fascinating to watch these men, some of whom are young, a lot of whom are in shape and good looking, complain that they can’t find a woman in the United States. Why? Well, part of the reason stated by the U.S. women is that they are college educated and make a point that they want… Read more »
Pedestalization is actually disrespect. It is something more akin to goddess worship. It is more like how men would admire each other. It creates too much of an emotional burden for women. We can never hope to live up to those expectations, to fulfill those needs. If you start with the basic premise that men and women are very different, that men need respect in order to truly feel love and that women need love in order to feel respected, it begins to make more sense. “What earns men respect from either sex is the degree to which they master… Read more »
“Insanity Bytes would argue that this is all misogynistic…”
IB would do no such thing. You made a very nice comment.
@insanitybytes22 Pedestalization is actually disrespect. It is something more akin to goddess worship. It is more like how men would admire each other. It creates too much of an emotional burden for women. We can never hope to live up to those expectations, to fulfill those needs. …So much failure while so close to win. IB you understand what is being discussed here about as well as you understand the cosmos. Men do not “pedestalize” each other. If they did, do you think Michael Jordan would have ever gotten trash talked by fans? Do you think military leaders would ever… Read more »
“Pedestalization is actually disrespect.”
Very good.
“It is something more akin to goddess worship.”
That’s correct. You’re on a roll.
“It is more like how men would admire each other.”
And then you fuck it all up by knowing fuck all about men and having absolutely no respect for them. Go figure.
Scribblerg ” I never blow on a woman’s face, I don’t want to degrade them. Swallowing is nice ”
This is the reason I have ZERO interest in paying attention to the bullshit of “worth of my respect”.
One woman would find swallowing empowering, another would find it demeaning.
One woman would find coming on her face demeaning, another would find it sexy.
It all depends on different stages of solipsism.
“No. Fear is instant disrespect. Forced compliance perhaps, but not respect at all. Respect is not the same thing for women. We need to be able to look up to you. If you perceive women as a threat or as someone you must trigger fear in, in order to control, it reads as weakness in all but the most broken of women.”
You’re an idiot. Your understanding of fear is very limited, as is your understanding of respect. That’s OK I expect nothing more from you.
“Just do these things because you are a gentleman who ‘respects’ women for being women..”
Actually Tomassi, the men around here did those things because they respected themselves as men, because being gentleman was a way of setting themselves apart from others, it was a way of displaying their honor and integrity, acknowledging a sense of responsibility towards those smaller and weaker than them. It was never really about women at all, although we certainly benefited.
“But I will say those same strippers “date” men whom they expect to respect pedestalize them.” In my experience with strippers this is not the case. Almost the opposite in fact. All the strippers I knew (including the one I was fucking – she started stripping at my suggestion because I needed money and didn’t want to work) were dating/fucking the biggest scumbags they could find. Most were drug dealers who treated them like shit and spent their money. These hot young girls would spend their nights taking money from guys with steady jobs who praised them non-stop and offered… Read more »
fleezer
September 14th, 2015 at 12:09 pm
“women automatically respect (and envy) testosterone. this is why no one talks about the need to respect men. it is implied by our existence. we already were what women are, and then we became something more – the dominant organism in our solar system.
the problem these days is that men don’t respect their own testosterone. this is easily fixed.”
I disagree with the reasoning to this conclusion. But I agree woman automatically respect testosterone. Man don’t need a social convention for that.
@IB your guesswork impression of masculine respect is hopelessly trapped in the old order, first set of books:
http://therationalmale.com/2014/01/14/the-second-set-of-books/
@longgone Try swing dancing west coast not east coast. It also helps me to go to dances I haven’t been to before and practice with pros who aren’t used to being asked. @Forge the sky “Then as you get better you learn to demonstrate rather than explicate the things you’ve learned, and everyone except the white knights loves it and think it’s just a natural way for a man to think and act. And if you explain what you think at all, it’s from a place of understated confidence that people find difficult to question.” That was the only time… Read more »