Betas In Waiting

betas-in-waiting

I came across another familiar story on the TRP Reddit this week. It’s familiar because this story is becoming increasingly more common as Hypergamy becomes a more open secret that women can no longer keep under wraps.

For the better part of 2014, and in Preventive Medicine, I explored the social trend of Open Hypergamy and the impact it’s beginning to effect on contemporary western(ized) culture. In that exploration I published Saving the Best (another TRP link), a story which revolved around the increasingly more common post-Epiphany Phase “regrets” women have when their Party Years indiscretions are made evident to the Beta men who committed to them in monogamy or marriage.

Have a read of Saving the Best before you continue here, you’ll see the commonalities immediately. I’m going to dissect this “confession” a bit as I go, but bear in mind this woman’s predicament is the direct result of the unintentional Red Pill awareness that Open Hypergamy has brought men to – even uninitiated Beta men.

An update, for those asking for it. Here’s the link to my original post although the text has been deleted? Before I get into the details, I’d just like to say I greatly appreciate the support this community extended me. Believe it or not, I read every response.

As of this morning, we still hadn’t slept in the same bed or spoken more than 10 words to each other in passing. As I was waking up, he was walking in the front door with two coffees. He sat me down at our kitchen table and finally opened up to me.

Basically he feels that he was “conned” (his word) into the marriage, saying that he wouldn’t have even dated me, let alone married me, if he’d known what he knows now. His view of me has been irreparably changed and he no longer sees me “as someone worthy of being [his] wife”. (quoting him here… fucking prick) Beyond the sexual aspect, he says he no longer trusts me because I “kept something this big” from him our whole relationship.

One of the primary disconnects women are conditioned to believe during their Epiphany Phase is that a “good man” will be willing to forgive and forget her past indiscretions. On their journey of self-exploration and discovery women are encouraged to adopt a finely tuned cognitive dissonance with who they conveniently become and what should be the consequences of their pasts. While men are expected to live up to their responsibilities as men, and are expected to own up to the consequences of their failures, at the Epiphany Phase women are encouraged to convince themselves that they become someone else – someone who was “so different” from who she was in her Party Years.

Her husband feels “conned” because he was conned; conned after discovering the dual personality of his pre and post Epiphany Phase wife. What we’re expected to believe here (courtesy of the social conventions emplaced by the Feminine Imperative) is that her husband is some prudish, moralistic throwback unwilling to accept and embrace the “real” her – the one who was trying to “get it right” by turning over a new leaf with him. This is the easy, ready-to-use shame that women have available to them; if a man becomes indignant over a woman’s sexual past it translates into his insecurities as a man. His feeling conned over his bait & switch marriage is redirected to being his problem.

Men aren’t off the hook with that convenient convention either. There’s a moral high ground many men want to claim and cast the actions of a guy in this circumstance as virtuous and a proper revenge for being mislead. While that may feel good, men in this situation aren’t disillusioned with their ‘unworthy’ wives from a moral pretense, but rather that they believed they would be entitled to their wives’ sexual best reserved for him. As I quoted in Saving the Best, they “marry a whore who fucks like a prude.”

Subjectively that may or may not be the case, but it’s the freedom and genuine desire with which their wives had sex with prior (Alpha) lovers; desire that wasn’t based on material provisioning, emotional investment or the logistical hoops women expect their post-Epiphany “good men” to perform to in order to merit their sexual and intimate attentions. That’s the disconnect, that’s the con; Alpha Bad Boys get her 3-Way genuine sexual abandon with no investment expected, while he’s got to maintain ‘multiple businesses’ in order to get a prosaic sexual experience with her. The Bad Boys got her sexual best for free, while he’s expected to accept her as the ‘new’ post-Epiphany her…

Nothing I could do or say could convince him that these were past mistakes and not reflective of who I am today. He wasn’t angry with me, didn’t call me a slut or anything like that. Never once raised his voice. Part of me wishes he did, although I can’t exactly say why right now. It felt like I was being laid off from a job.

As I mentioned, the expectation is for her husband to accept “who she is today”, yet who she was ten years ago had a more genuine desire for less established, but sexually arousing, lovers. I’m going to speculate here, but it’s likely that a man who owns multiple businesses spent more of his time diligently and (I presume) responsibly cultivating those enterprises than the men his wife took as lovers ten years ago. Again, we can see that as a moral virtue on his part, but there’s a root indignation of what her past represents within the context of his (I assume) responsible past.

And like a good business owner he plays the confrontation calmly and collectedly. The part of her that wishes he’d raised his voice is the same part that got excited by the Alpha indifference of her former lovers.

So that’s it. We are getting divorced. My supposed life-partner turning his back on me without a second thought. He didn’t even have the decency to discuss it with me first – apparently he visited his lawyer during the week and “the process is in motion” (his words). Knowing him, there is absolutely no changing his mind.

My husband owns multiple businesses and wouldn’t get married without a prenup. I signed it, honest-to-god thinking we’d never, EVER have to use it. Well, he had the fucking document with him this morning. He said he’d pay off the remainder of my student loans, which he isn’t “legally obligated” to do. While I appreciate that, I am going to meet with my lawyer this week and see if the agreement can be challenged in court. We have built a life together, I gave him 5 of the best years of my life and I’ve been 100% faithful to him – I don’t fucking deserve to be tossed out like a piece of trash.

So that’s it. My life turned upside-down in the span of a week, over something I did 10+ YEARS AGO BEFORE I EVEN KNEW HIM. It’s fucking asinine. The thing is, even as I wrote the original post, in the back of my mind I knew he was through with me. He’s ended friendships and business partnerships over less.

Ghosts of Epiphanies Past

In Preventive Medicine I go into a bit of detail about men in this increasingly common circumstance. There is a subconscious expectation on the part of Beta men who find themselves at or just past women’s Epiphany Phase, that predisposes them to believing that what they’ve become as a result of their perseverance throughout their 20’s has now come to fruition and the women who ignored them then have now matured to a point where he’s the ‘sexy’ one at last.

Unless men have a moment of clarity or a Red Pill initiation of their own prior to this, what they don’t accept is that this expectation is a calculated conditioning of the Feminine Imperative to prepare him for women like this; women who can no longer sexually compete for the Alpha Fucks they enjoyed in their Party Years. The Feminine Imperative teaches him that he can expect a woman’s “real” sexual best from the “real” her – why else would she agree to a lifelong marriage if he weren’t the optimal choice to settle down with? Why wouldn’t she be even more sexual than in her past with the man she’s chosen to spend her life with and have children with?

That is the message the Feminine Imperative used to subtly and indirectly imply to Betas-in-waiting. Now with the comfort of Open Hypergamy this message is published in best selling books by influential women:

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

― Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

Not to belabor Sandberg yet again (she has been hocking the tired out Choreplay meme recently), but this is essentially the outline of the script we’re reading in this woman’s lament. She’s essentially followed Sandberg’s advice only to find that her Beta-in-waiting bought into the same script too. The problem for her is that he took the “nothing’s sexier” part to heart only to find that someone else was sexier long before she’d convinced him otherwise.

For what it’s worth, fem-centrism has far less to fear from the manosphere revealing the ugly Red Pill truths about Hypergamy and more to worry about from pridefully self-indulgent women gleefully explaining it to the general populace themselves. Roosh had a tweet this week with what would likely have been the attitude of our subject wife ten odd years ago:

https://twitter.com/rooshv/status/580169533253636096

The more common Open Hypergamy becomes and the more proudly it’s embraced by the whole of women the less effective shaming men into acceptance of it will be. However, I thought it was entertaining when the counter-comments on Saving the Best questioned how common this situation really was or else thought it was trolling.

I think it’s much more prevalent than most men would like to admit. Perhaps not as dramatic as this example, but far more common for a majority of men who’ve tacitly accepted that the woman they married (or paired with) gave her best to her prior lovers and are too personally or family invested to extricate themselves from her after they’ve realized it. That investment necessitates them convincing themselves of the pre-planned memes the Feminine Imperative has prepared for them – that they are doing the right thing by forcing that dissonance out of their minds.

A lot of Betas-in-waiting like to claim a personal sense of vindication about their successfully pairing and breeding with women who they believe are (and were) their SMV evaluate equals once those women have “got it out of their system” with regards to self-discovery and Alpha indiscretions. In a sense they’re correct; often enough these are the men who gratefully embrace a woman’s intimate acceptance of him precisely at the point when his SMV has matured to match this woman’s declining SMV. I call this crossover the comparative SMV point in my SMV graph.

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Even women on the down-slide of their SMV like to encourage the idea that their post-Epiphany decision to marry the Plan B Beta provider (long term orbiter) is evidence of their newly self-discovered maturity. How could they have been so foolish and not seen how the perfect guy for her had been there all along? That consideration gratifies the ego of a Beta who’s been hammered flat by rejection or mediocre experiences with women up to that point.

The primary reason I spent the last year compiling Preventive Medicine was to help men see past the compartmentalization of women’s phases of maturity, but also to help them see past their own immediate interpretations of those phases as they’re experiencing them. Long term sexual and intimate deprivation (i.e. Thirst) will predispose men to convincing themselves of the part they believe they should play in the social conventions of the Feminine Imperative. Their own cognitive dissonance is a small, subliminal price to pay when they believe they’re finally being rewarded with a woman who’s now ready to give him her best.

What inspired me to this post was reading a cutesy photo-meme on Facebook. The syrupy message was “My only regret was not meeting you sooner so we could spend more of our lives together” superimposed over some kids in black & white holding a rose. Then it hit me, this was a message a guy was posting to his girlfriend; the one he’d met after his second divorce was finalized. What he didn’t want to think about was that if he’d met her sooner she’d have been too busy “discovering herself” to have anything to do with him.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/03/29/opinion/sunday/julia-baird-stand-up-for-your-cats.html?referrer=
Part of the appeal of cats is that they are independent and discerning. They have few needs. They come to you when they want; you can’t force them, or cajole them. They can be fiercely affectionate. They are gloriously indifferent. Cats don’t pretend to like you, and don’t care if you like them.

Now read the above, does that sound like a Beta?

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

Beta men, BE like a cat.
Now I know why women end up with cats, it is the alpha attitude in cats.
The indifference.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

Holy shit. You may be onto something big here, T. Never thought about it that way before.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

But a reasonable counter-argument might be that cats are more like women. Fickle, constantly shit-testing, and only deigning to give their attention to the highest status bidder (the one that currently has the best food offering or affectionate attention that is most pleasing). Hard to make a call on this one.

Dragonfly
7 years ago

StringofCoins… If I may say so, this is beautiful…

“How can women, with so much power, have such an incredibly poor understanding of men?

Perhaps one day women will realize that feminism has lied to them. That they have almost all the power. That they need to grow up and start using that power in a remotely intelligent way.”

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  Dragonfly

Hey you know honor is alpha someone willing to fight or perhaps to oppose is to support?
How’s this Mr T?
http://www.csn.ul.ie/~arise/stuff/hagakure.pdf

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

Diplomat

Crazy cat woman=alpha widow who gave up on betas?

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

@rugby

Is English your second/third language? Just curious where you are from.

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  The Diplomat

Third was born in a French speaking family than learned English with some sign language than English.

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

Cats are the ultimate alpha mind set, maybe that’s why women love cats, when a woman have cats it is the silent crying out for the alpha.

Why then women love cats?
Or a horse ?
Me, ,I love wolves.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

I will have to think long and hard on this one, T. I will come up with a thesis on “Cats: Alpha or Hypergamous?” and try to defend it here on the thread.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

As a teaser, I will offer: cats may occasionally be fierce in defending what they think is rightfully theirs, but they are the ultimate opportunists in virtually all of their feline behaviors. I’m leaning toward hypergamy on this.

Misery loves company. Thus, cat lady.

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

Now that is topic Rollo didn’t cover?
Missing the alpha and not ready to settle for a beta?
Then get a cat, it’s as similar of an alpha as it gets.

Forge the Sky
Forge the Sky
7 years ago

Opposites attract. Dogs are social, alpha men are drawn to them and control them without a thought. Cats are antisocial, (very) beta men and women are drawn to them.

Learn what you can from this dynamic.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
7 years ago

Dunno if I’m alpha, but I’ve always preferred dogs. Who wants a pet that ignores you when you call to it? Not I.

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

Part of the appeal of cats is that they are independent and discerning. They have few needs. They come to you when they want; you can’t force them, or cajole them. They can be fiercely affectionate. They are gloriously indifferent. Cats don’t pretend to like you, and don’t care if you like them. Yet again, All the characters above is the alpha mind set that women live in a man. Not too many men would put up when with an indifferent woman (except desperate betas) but on the other hand, an indifferent man is irresistible to ALL women, indifferent cat?… Read more »

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

Correction
That women love.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

I concede. You’re making a thoroughly convincing argument for alpha cat, T.

@rugby

Thanks. I sometimes have difficulty understanding what you are saying, even thought you generally have a good point to assert.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

@Rollo

There’s a possible speculative psych post in what Mr. T is positing about cat ladies and ersatz alpha fulfillment. It might be a departure, but it’s at least worth a sub-convo in a future post on late stage spinsterhood.

Badpainter
Badpainter
7 years ago

Cats?

As a self identified beta I’d have to say I greatly dislike cats. Cats, for some reason, love me. I much prefer dogs as I demand all pets display obsequious, even sycophantic submission, loyalty, and obedience. More importantly dogs can trained to perform useful labor, cats seem to have useful purpose.

Mr T.
Mr T.
7 years ago

One crazy thought

I wonder how a crazy cat woman deal with her cat during her ovulation (I mean the woman)

does the cat woman put up with her cat’s indifference during the menstrual cycle?

Obviously we aren’t gonna be able to ask the cat! That leaves us with the”hopefully ” full cooperation of either the cat woman or the beta boy friend.

kfg
kfg
7 years ago

The Cat That Walked by Himself

We’ll have to go to Vox Day’s hierarchy for this one; cats are sigma.

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  Rollo Tomassi

Rollo I do donate however I was thinking of a way to help increase your funds. Why not link to your books through this? http://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/ch/change/ref=smi_cycsr_btnr1_setch

Tam theBam
Tam theBam
7 years ago

Dogs are good because the fur (on non-fancy breeds) is less likely to clag up with ice; use for everything below the knee except soles.
Cat skins are excellent for hats and mitten backs, very warm (but not as good as a February fox), but ices up too easy.
Horses for courses, and hope the neighbors don’t miss ’em.

Anonapotomous
Anonapotomous
7 years ago

I really like the content of Rollo’s writing, if I could make two suggestions in all respect. 1. Shorter sentences. i.e., “A lot of Betas-in-waiting like to claim a personal sense of vindication about their successfully pairing and breeding with women who they believe are (and were) their SMV evaluate equals once those women have “got it out of their system” with regards to self-discovery and Alpha indiscretions.” (There are many like this) 2. If it can be said with less words, then do so. I don’t have a specific example of this. But just being cognizant of this while… Read more »

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

In the past two years that I’ve been haunting the Rational Male blog, I have never seen Rollo ask for anything other than that people think clearly, maintain a productive dialogue, and spread the knowledge to others. Obviously, he gives quite a lot of himself and his time to many people for no remuneration at all. It’s the true definition of dedicated altruism. No one who is a regular here would doubt for a moment that he has both actively and passively saved many lives from potential ruin (or much worse) by the tremendous work he has done here (for… Read more »

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  The Diplomat

According to my research if everyone donated 11 U.S. dollars a price of a movie ticket who reads this blog we could easily hit passed 1,000. Not use the whole savior complex but each time I read both books and change my behavior by acknowledging how wrong I am about the world I give my digits to the donate button. When you think of the social benifit it’s really worth more than you think. Case in point you help dogs. Which someone once said was a mans best friend.

ReticentPill
ReticentPill
7 years ago

Not entirely on-topic, but I joined a buddy for some pre-Wrestlemania lunch with a couple of his female friends. Food hadn’t gotten to the table before the loud one pulled the “it’s 2015” line when discussing how the bill would be divided. Current events for a bit, food arrives and I’m sensing her escalation into a predictable monologue about relationship “fairness.” I side-glance my buddy who is clearly tired of hearing it and interrupt. “I can disprove your entire thesis in two sentences.” Then, I put my hand gently on hers and make eye contact. “I’m unemployed. Will you marry… Read more »

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  ReticentPill

I had a friend of mine go to a bar at an airport where he went to go speak to a women where she promtly rejected his advance so in good humor he raised his voice and said “that’s it I am getting a divorce” everyone in the airport by the bar came over to see them not allowing him to leave because at least 5 people where surrounding him. So the girl kept saying how she didn’t know him an his reply was “that’s what you always say” he ended up getting a few dates with her before he… Read more »

divorced dad
divorced dad
7 years ago

“boo hoo” cries the bitch – “5 of the best years of my life” boo hoo. meanwhile your prior 15 years before the marriage you had as much sex and as much variety as you wanted, while your beta built his businesses. and now you want to challenge the prenup. but a regular marriage without a prenup is literally (if law were still done correctly) an unenforceable (voidable) illusory contract, because only one party (the man) has any enforceable obligations. fuck you, women (not a typo). all of you. try being a man and getting no fault divorced for NO… Read more »

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  divorced dad

Well said
My uncle had a similar circumstance happen with him. I asked what I could do to help And he said “Don’t ever lose your male friends”
Wish you a good day brother

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

@divorced dad

Divorce ALWAYS happens for a reason. You just don’t like the reason.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

Wrong thread, Big Kahuna.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

But funny, nevertheless.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

^^ those last two comments were in response to a comment that has been deleted. Please disregard. Not Alzheimer’s or Schizophrenia…I hope.

spike
spike
7 years ago

What’s missing: She’s likely already had another rooster in the hen house. One poster was close, in his use of sticks as a metaphor. .past performance is no guarantee of future earnings performance. .but under same management, entities tend to perform the same! Once a slut, highly likely to be so again, especially when times are tough. Drug use too? Be a great mother if children! Especially for a man who has a sense of familial responsibility, good thing he ejected. There’s a reason we have an underclass: lack of self control. By hiding the behavior from him, she attempts… Read more »

Badpainter
Badpainter
7 years ago

“Her reproductive strategy collapsed because of a friend with loose lips.”

Which brigs up a question if etiquette. What is an appropriate gift for the “friend” who spilled the beans?

George Meeks - Not born this morning - whatever the fuck you want to call me
George Meeks - Not born this morning - whatever the fuck you want to call me
7 years ago

–” I don’t fucking deserve to be tossed out like a piece of trash.” INTO THE GUTTER WHERE SHE BELONGS AND WHERE SHE CAME FROM!!! “Newgal” – There is not a fucking thing new about you!!!!! Rollo- Your work is excellent despite my disagreement with you concerning “idealist love”. You really connect the dots as you say and I still recommend your work. It is like a knife cutting straight to the truth and you break down & explain things in a manner that most can “get it” However, I personally cannot swallow “idealist love” in ANY context whatsoever. Call… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
7 years ago

@Badpainter

A date after the divorce.

George Meeks - Not born this morning - whatever the fuck you want to call me
George Meeks - Not born this morning - whatever the fuck you want to call me
7 years ago

To be a “MAN” means to not let the woman have control

of your loyalty
your bank account
your dignity
your time
your emotions
your hopes
your fears…

All of these things are yours. They are not hers.

George Meeks - Not born this morning - whatever the fuck you want to call me
George Meeks - Not born this morning - whatever the fuck you want to call me
7 years ago

Every man must seriously consider any woman as a risk and a liability primarily before any other considerations. ThIs is what she really is to his life regardless of what he wants to believe. He must never forget this, especially in an LTR. All risks and liabilities must be MANAGED.

The Diplomat
The Diplomat
7 years ago

@ Sun

Good one. Thanks for the chuckle.

trackback
7 years ago

[…] Badpainter: […]

former-party-guy
former-party-guy
7 years ago

Here’s a question: what if it is the man who had his party years, and the woman resents it? I partied it up, had lots of partners, and then married a hot, low-partner-number woman. She hates it when there are occasional reminders of my indiscriminate past. Is it buying into the feminine imperative for me to feel a little bad about this? One major difference is that I didn’t “settle” because my SMV was plummeting, quite to the contrary, increasing SMV over time let me find a long-term partner good enough to settle down with. Plus I wanted stability &… Read more »

M3
M3
7 years ago

“One major difference is that I didn’t “settle” because my SMV was plummeting, quite to the contrary, increasing SMV over time let me find a long-term partner good enough to settle down with. ” “It is easy to do an easy thing, it is hard to do a hard thing.” – Me Women are attracted to men who other women have had. Men are attracted to women that could have been with many guys, but limited their choices smartly to a tiny pool Preselection. For men it means how many women have fucked him+how many women want to fuck him… Read more »

trackback
7 years ago

[…] is something a woman pre-plans in her head. She knows at 20 years old that she’ll need her Beta-in-waiting. It’s not serendipity that she’ll find a Beta ready to out-support and out-forgive […]

Armpal
Armpal
7 years ago

This article is so raw and true and am currently breaking up: I got married at 21 (she wanted the papers) Left me when I was 32 after she was done with school I had a hard time trusting women since then I went MGTOW for 4 years; my female psy told me to start dating I still had a VERY blue pill idea of women psy I started dating women over 30+ After a few unsuccesful dates I met a woman on line 32 y.o. On the first date I noticed she was detached, and very aloof for a… Read more »

Armpal
Armpal
7 years ago

Ohh and I forgot, she is allergic to Cats… Btw I believe this will be what happens: She she just turned 36: She will tell her friends she tried everything to make a serious relationship work (nothing to do with her lack of pair bonding abiliity and disregard to connect emotionally) and explain that her first relationship after the carousel fell apart as fast as it began; and will then probably ask her friends (who left the carousel before her) to see if their boyfriends/husbands can set her up with some of their friends! As you know women are the… Read more »

trackback

[…] Betas In Waiting […]

trackback

[…] good news is they’ve all been waiting for you, like you asked them to way back when; and while their feminine conditioning has finally made them […]

trackback

[…] a prime selector’s position. Feminine social conditioning has done all it can to predispose Beta men to wait out and forgive women their short-term Alpha Fucks indiscretions during their Party Years, but as Red […]

trackback
6 years ago

[…] now conflicts with their previous short-term mating strategy (Alpha Fucks). As I detailed in Betas in Waiting, women of this age cannot afford to have their short term sexual strategy count against them at a […]

Jack Sparrow
Jack Sparrow
6 years ago

Horrifying… That poor guy in “Saving the Best” reminded me of a wedding I once attended. Indigo, our most infamous party whore friend (so hardcore that she was the stuff of legend among us) was FINALLY getting married and settling down. Unbelievable we said. Never thought it would happen we said. On one of her coke-snorting wild clubbing outings she’d some how hooked a rich dude (lawyer) and he proposed within a fortnight. She WAS hot stuff in the sack so he must have thought he’d struck oil. Indigo… the question among the lads was who HADN’T fucked her? I… Read more »

trackback
6 years ago

[…] of how the Feminine Imperative conditions men to embrace their “feminine sides” and create generations of ready Betas. Most Blue Pill men will fail to identify with the more masculine specificity I’ve outlined […]

Darwinian Arminian
Darwinian Arminian
6 years ago

Messed up the link in the last comment. You can find it here:

http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2013/05/american-sheng-nu.html

trackback

[…] The second mistake it to presume the inverse: that 20% of men actually get 80% of women. Usually this gets trotted out as an equal-for-equal argument that presumes, again, that desire should necessarily translate into consolidation. Betas and lower SMV men do get laid and pair off with women for any number of reasons, but the principle isn’t about who’s actually fucking who. Rather, it’s about who has more access to sexually available women based on their SMV valuation. Nice Guys may finish last, but they do finish eventually – whether they finish ‘well’ is a thought for another post. […]… Read more »

trackback
6 years ago

[…] In Betas in Waiting I explored how a majority of boys have, for several generations now, been conditioned to be serviceable providers for women once they enter a phase of life when they find themselves becoming less able to compete intrasexually. Anyone familiar with Preventive Medicine understands this (Epiphany Phase) period as the point during which a woman’s Hypergamous priorities shift from short term Alpha Fucks to long term Beta Bucks. […]

trackback
6 years ago

[…] into the same Dead Bedrooms scenario most men in his situation are placed in. He was the dutiful Beta in Waiting and “married a slut who fucks (him) like a prude”. There are over 30,000 subscribers on […]

trackback

[…] men who are awakened while married are men who followed the same script as the men I illustrate in Betas in Waiting. These are the men who have ‘done everything right’ for the better part of their lives. […]

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[…] But why would a woman who, for all intents, knows her capacity to attract men is waning be so insistent on delaying her becoming intimate with him? This seems counterintuitive, particularly in light of the fact that most women in their younger, Party Years eagerly had sex with men for whom they made little or no ‘rules’ for in order to become sexual with them. It’s a common enough idea in the manosphere that women will ride the ‘cock carousel’ in their 20s until they realize a lessened capacity to attract guys and then seek to cash out of the… Read more »

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[…] I wrote for Gendernomics. Rollo has written many great posts, but my favorites posts are “Betas in Waiting” and “Saving the Best“, two posts that I consider crucial for the destruction of […]

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[…] The presumption of relational equity comes before a Beta even has a woman to invest in. This is the source of Aussie guy’s frustration. I covered this dynamic in Prewhipped and Betas in Waiting. […]

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[…] Here is one such, a tale of marriage today: “Saving the Best” and the follow-up “Betas in Waiting.” The author gives an analysis that cuts to the heart of the […]

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[…] the risks and the all-downside potential of that vulnerability. This obliviousness – keeping a Beta-in Waiting blind – is a primary goal of Blue Pill […]

ItalyMich
ItalyMich
5 years ago

The part I like best is where she says she wants to challenge the prenup she signed… :))

They just can’t get what “agreement”, “promise”, “honor”, signify.

Accursed unreasonable snakes.

Stoic101
Stoic101
5 years ago

-bub’s; i.e. Back up Bitch

joatsimeon
joatsimeon
4 years ago

Dudes, when I was in my teens and twenties I went after every woman I thought I could get flat, and succeeded fairly often, if only on the “machine-gun” principle. Young horny boho artistic type, footloose and fancy free. And then I realized I just didn’t -want- that any more. So, the question is, if you ripped off every piece you could when you were younger — and no matter how nebbishy you were, don’t try and tell me you didn’t take every opportunity you had and would have taken more if only you could, and just for the fun–… Read more »

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[…] Hypergamy only applies to men with the best social / provisioning status I’ve seen this one-sided perspective promoted by Dr. Jordan Peterson. The idea is that, in women’s natural beneficence, they will only be attracted to the man with the best capacity to provide for her long term security and parental investment. This idea myopically ignores the Alpha Fucks side of the Hypergamous equation. This concept is very complimentary to women and usually guys who limit their definition of Hypergamy to the inherent goodness of women also tend to think of Alpha in terms of men being pro-social, leaders… Read more »

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[…] there’s so much pressure on Vietnamese girls to satisfy the Beta side of hypergamy that they honestly long for needy, albeit supportive long-term boyfriends (husbands preferably), […]

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[…] more than a “getting laid without social judgement” license, to create a social convention where guys must be convinced “her past doesn’t […]

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[…] wait for them) at the time at which their need for security is the greatest. This expectation of Betas in Waiting is part of a Hypergamous plan; it is the consolidation of an Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks […]

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[…] Betas In Waiting […]

Scott Edward Smith
Scott Edward Smith
2 years ago

The trouble with modern women is you never know what you’re getting. When I bought my motorcycle, I bought a previously owned model. It has an Odometer on it so I knew how many miles it had be ridden.

SJF
SJF
2 years ago

“The trouble with modern women is you never know what you’re getting. When I bought my motorcycle, I bought a previously owned model. It has an Odometer on it so I knew how many miles it had be ridden.” Such a statement is out of context. And buried into old threads on a blog. Like you shouting into the fog of war. You never know what you are getting? As if you have no powers of discrimination. Or, you have to settle for what you can get? Make yourself better than that paradigm. When you got your motorcyle, you rode… Read more »

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[…] the only guy who would date her in that phase of her life given her circumstances. She married the Beta in Waiting, who’s overjoyed that he’s finally found his Quality Woman who appreciates his type. […]

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[…] the only guy who would date her in that phase of her life given her circumstances. She married the Beta in Waiting, who’s overjoyed that he’s finally found his Quality Woman who appreciates his type. He’s […]

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[…] course the will always be what Rollo Tomassi describes as Betas in Waiting – men who have been dutiful in waiting for ‘their time’. Now the women who […]

Power of Positivity
2 years ago

Power of Positivity® is a News / Media Website founded in 2009 with a mission to provide daily inspiration, motivation and tools to live a happier life. Our vision is to plant, nurture, and grow positive energy in the hearts and minds of everyone.

Yomo
Yomo
1 year ago

I don’t think this is true, if you take a beta-male as a male, who waits for a marriage. Waiting for a marriage is related to Christianity. Nothing is more doomed than a woman, who doesn’t have standards and isn’t showing love. No matter beta, zeta, alpha etc…. It’s generally not for a woman’s safety, if she lived a life without standards, because she thought she could. The same goes for men, doing the same. The reason is, it is transparent and will cost her many things. She will then go towards the Gamma or Alphas, because she doesn’t need… Read more »

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[…] Betas In Waiting […]

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