Men and Suicide

Before I launch in here today I need to confess that this post has been in my drafts folder for a while now. As most of my readers are aware I’ve known two personal friends who’ve taken their own lives as a result of having their Blue Pill conditioned beliefs set them on a path to self destruction. One of the more important parts of my charter when I started writing was to reach the men who were at their wits’ end in figuring out how to deal with their personal, romantic or married lives that had until then been directed by what their Blue Pill acculturation and their understanding of intersexual dynamics were molded to be. Since I started and stopped and then restarted this topic again there have been a few recent developments in my perspective on men taking their own lives as a result of the Blue Pill’s influence on them.

All of this really began about two months ago while I was engaging in a debate (or what passes for debate) on Twitter with a very unsympathetic woman who thought she’d set me straight about why it is men choose to take their own lives at a far greater rate than women. As it stands today, men are statistically between 4 and 5 times more likely than women to kill themselves. For most Red Pill aware men this is a fairly well known stat and one that gets quoted often enough when women trot out their own stats about abuse or whatever issue they think it is that MRA are ‘confused’ about. They usually get owned when this sort of back and forth goes down, but I’m always drawn to the comparative issues women think are equitable to that of men losing their lives.

Men’s disposability is also nothing new to the manosphere. Sperm is cheap, eggs are scarce and men are expected to sacrifice their lives for the security and betterment of women even in the most patriarchal of prior social orders. It’s always interesting to me that issues of mandatory male conscription into the military (potential death) and the unignorable high male suicide rates are something women still won’t accept as being a pretty raw deal for men. Women’s innate solipsism will still compel women to find some “yeah, but;…” rationalization for men’s disposability. Whenever I bring something like this up the reflexive presumption is that I’m bemoaning men’s victim status for being disposable. However, it’s impossible to discuss male disposability without such a connotation. My issues isn’t one of seeking some equitable disposability for women, but rather it’s drawing attention to the way women react and rationalize away their own part in that disposability.

True Powerlessness

I covered a lot of this in Chivalry vs. Altruism, so I won’t belabor that here, but I will point out the inherent power imbalance in this disposability. I’ve stated in the past that true power is not the control we can exert over the lives of others, but rather the extent to which we have control over the direction of our own lives. When we discuss issues of power between men and women the real, ultimate, loss of that control is in the context of our deaths.

There is no greater powerlessness for men than a lack of control over our own disposability.

Again, this isn’t some cry of victimhood for men – I happen to believe there’s an evolved component in the male psychological firmware that actually predisposes us to sacrificing ourselves in lieu of the security of our women and children. That’s not so much altruism as it is an inborn subroutine for protecting women that triggers in life-threatening situations. When a mass shooter opens fire indiscriminately at a crowd of people it is the men, not the women, who instinctively put their bodies between that gun and women or children, even the one’s they don’t personally know.

In the bigger scope of things, men will always be more disposable than women, and on some level of consciousness women’s hindbrains instinctively understand this. As such, women’s conscious process must find ways to reconcile this understanding in order for them to move on from men’s sacrifices. Sometimes this can manifest in the War Brides phenomenon, but I would argue that in today’s social learning environment of mass media, instant gratification of women’ solipsism and feminine-primary social order, this reconciliation takes some even uglier turns. Today, women have become very efficient in consoling each other’s solipsistic rationalizing of men’s sacrifices. In this environment of default female victimization and presumed oppression even men’s ultimate sacrifice, men’s ultimate powerlessness in their own deaths, cannot ever be consciously or unconsciously acknowledged in a state of fempowerment.

While I had this debate it occurred to me that even men’s suicides could never be attributed to anything less than their own ‘male egos’ by women, thus making them victims of their conditioning into “toxic” masculinity. Essentially, women were arguing that men would put a noose around their necks because they were socially conditioned to do so. Their suicide rate was attributable to their self-pity and inability to be ‘real men’ as some nebulous toxic masculinity had predefined for them. I thought this was kind of ironic when you compare this reasoning to the narrative shift away from ‘toxic’ masculinity to masculinity itself is toxic. This is really a stupid argument when you consider that it’s just another social convention used to absolve women of the guilt associated with men’s sacrifices. Men are hardwired for self sacrifice, but likewise women had need to evolved psychological adaptations to help them clear the red from their life’s ledger in this respect.

So, in the end, it helps if women can fall back on social conventions that put the associated guilt of men’s sacrifices back on the men themselves. Chivalry and traditional masculinity are fine when they serve the Feminine Imperative, but if a man actually gets killed or kills himself as part of that, well, that’s on him then. And this is what I was beginning with in this debate; there will always be a desire for absolution of women’s guilt or complicity in the deaths of men. I should also add that in terms of war and men being drafted women regularly default to the same asinine presumption that if women were running the world that there would be no wars. I won’t dignify that with any deeper analysis than to say that this too is one more (feeble) way of looking for absolution in the sacrifices men make to facilitate women’s reality.

Suicide Solution

That still left the question, why do men take their own lives in such alarmingly high numbers compared to women? I had to do a bit of research on this, but the demographics for male suicide today show some patterns. 7 in 10 suicides are men (majority white) between the ages of 45 and 65. As expected from gynocentric media, the primary reason always cited is men’s so called stubbornness in seeking out psychiatric help before they attempt suicide – again absolving women’s influence of any complicity – but ignoring what would motivate men, and this demographic in particular, to suicide. Again, there’s no attempt to understand the underlying reasons for male suicide, only a stereotypically easy ‘male-stupid’ answer to absolve women’s complicity in it.

There’s a lot to consider and be sensitive of when it comes to male suicide, but I’m going to speculate about a few reasons here coming from a Red Pill perspective. At no other time in western history has there ever been a generation of more purposeless men. From an evolved psychological perspective, men need a function. We are innate idealists. We look outward at the world and like to imagine what could be possible. I believe there is also an innate part of our evolved mental firmware that predisposes us to problem solving and improvisation, and much of that comes as an adaptation to women’s own innate need for men who can display cues of competency.

In Competency I made the case for women’s attraction to men displaying signals of competency, confidence, mastery and creative intelligence as a selected-for survival adaptation. In short, our competency in life, whether stemming from physical prowess, social dominance or creative intelligence is integrally linked with our reproductive success as well as overall life success.

However, at no other time in history has men’s competency been so devalued and so debased; other than perhaps in terms of physical prowess and accommodating the short term (Alpha Fucks) breeding imperatives of women. At no other time in (western) history has the equity in what a man can provide or create or solve been so implicitly unnecessary or superfluous to women. When we consider the rates of college enrollment and graduation of women compared to that of men, when we consider the practical problems that men used to solve, our utility has never been less needed – or at least that’s the zeitgeist of today.

We read about how men need to accept this new social reality – that our need for purpose and function is no longer needed or as valued – and we need to change our headspace about it as if it were something men might simply turn off. This is the result of equalist beliefs that anything gender-specific is something learned rather than the innate firmware we were born with. But we cannot simply change our minds about needing a function. We evolved to be problem solvers, women talk, men do, but now we are expected to accept that men are obsolete.

Loss of Utility

In Relational Equity I made a case for men investing too much of their egos into what intrinsic (and extrinsic) value they believe their respective women ought to appreciate about themselves. Under the old books, old social contract this equity may have had some conditional value to women, but as a buffer against Hypergamy today there is very little a man might consider value-added equity (unless it’s exceedingly rare or exceedingly valued) as a hedge against Hypergamy. Before any defeatist critics tell me how not all women are like that, yes, I get it, there are a lot of variables to consider here, but the equation and the reality doesn’t change – relational equity, overall, is no insurance against Hypergamy. It is also no insurance against women’s security and providership needs being met by resources that come from outside that relationship. I’m not considering this because I’m trying to depress any man, but it is vitally necessary to consider when we look at reasons why 45-65 year old men are predisposed to higher rates of suicide and higher rates of alcoholism and opioid abuse.

I would argue that a major contributing factor to high male suicide rates finds its origins in men’s need for purpose, function and accomplishment during this phase of life. Every day I read an article about how men my own age are dropping out of social discourse. I mentioned a Boston Globe article about just this phenomenon in Male Control. In some respects I can understand that despite the unprecedented connectivity we enjoy today men really don’t seek out bonds with other men. This is primarily due to the fact that men need a common purpose in order to form these bonds. Again, this is just how we’re wired. Women intentionally schedule time to simply interact with their same-sex friends just for the sake of communicating and enjoying the act of communicating. Men need function or a common purpose to come together. We need an activity or a problem to solve and then we communicate and form bonds.

Women talk, men do. This is a well studied fact; our brains and, by extension, social networks largely center on purpose and function. Now, lets presume that in spite of having literally all the information in the world at our finger tips we remove all need for the utility that men are wired to provide to not just women, but the larger scope of Society. We get a generation of men on the outside looking in. Only the most creative, resourceful and motivated of men can really utilize, much less master, all that this information has to offer him. And even a portion of those men can really see past the antipathy of their supposed obsolescence to do something truly meaningful or masterful. As the saying goes, most men live lives of quiet desperation, but in the modern era these men are demonstrably useless. And I mean that in a functional sense; once a Beta man has been wrung of his utility to women, he ceases to be able to convince his hindbrain that he can build, improvise or solve things.

Once a man is stripped of his usefulness, once it’s made clear that all of the equity he believed would support his relationship has been erased after so long, men will still resort to practical, deductive solutions. That solution may be suicide when weighed with the prospect of having to rebuild himself in a new context; and even if he did would he just be building a new ‘him’ based on his old belief set?

When my brother in-law committed suicide it seemed to me at the time to be the most logical end he would come to. He was a man very steeped in Blue Pill ideals, but he was also a man who prided himself on what he could do – and if he didn’t know how to do something he was always a fast learner. He literally built his life, and expectations of a future life, around the relational equity he believed defined him as a man. He was very invested in the old books, old social contract that rooted a man’s attractiveness and quality in what it was he could do. What he built for himself and his wife defined his identity.

All of that 20+ years of building equity and an identity based on it was erased for him in the space of about six months. But it was more than the 20 years he’d been saving, building, solving and refining, it was a perceived future he believed would be lived out for the rest of his life that got erased.

To me, at that time, his suicide made absolutely perfect sense from a male-deductive logic perspective. What didn’t make sense was all of the endless rationalizations I heard from his family, friends, his kids, his Ex (my now widowed sister in-law) about why they thought he went through with it when it was plain for anyone who wanted to confront the truth to see. A lot of these rationales were almost verbatim the same that the article I linked used. “If only men would reach out when they have suicidal thoughts”, any and every rationale that might absolve his Ex of the guilt, and still more that were meant to console her (he must’ve been mental ill) though in the end she really didn’t need it.

My brother in-law made a practical decision not an emotional one, and while I wouldn’t presume to say that a guy’s emotional state isn’t very influential in his suicide, how he comes to the decision is very much attributable to men’s deductive nature. He showed no outward signs of emotional distress. In fact, right up to his hanging himself he was in very good spirits and seemingly accepting of the fact that the wife he lived his life for was going to be leaving him soon. He was very matter of fact in a way that men are when they’ve resolved something for themselves. When a guy seems to be taking things in stride we don’t want to create a problem where we see none.

When we look in this context at the high rate of male suicide in this age demographic we begin to see how men come to this decision. Everything they’ve built up to 45-65 years of age is now debased, devalued or simply erased. All of the value and equity they’ve committed their lives to – doing the right thing according to their Blue Pill conditioning – is as if it never mattered. So they’re confronted with a choice, rebuild themselves (hopefully in a new Red Pill aware paradigm), reconstruct a new life and tough it out, or, simply, pragmatically erase themselves.

Personally, I’ve had at least two occasions where I’ve been confronted with rebuilding myself. It’s a tough prospect, make no mistake, especially when you’re Red Pill aware and understand the reality behind having to rebuild a life from scratch after so much investment in plans and projects you truly believed in when you made them. My father had to confront this rebuilding too at around 55 years of age, but rather than rebuild or kill himself I watched him slowly decay into a man I never knew could exist as my dad.

Zeroed Out

I apologize if this topic is a bit of a downer, but I think it ought to be part of any Red Pill aware man’s understanding that at many points in our lives we will be confronted with the prospects of having to rebuild ourselves. Failure, rejection and disappointment will happen for you, that’s just part of a man’s life, and it’s easy to rattle off platitudes about how many times you get back up being the measure of a man. But what I’m saying is there will be times when total reconstruction of your life will be a necessity.

You will be zeroed out at some point, and how you handle this is a much different situation than any temporary setback. This zeroing out is made all the more difficult when you confront the fact that what you believed to be so valuable, the equity you were told was what others would measure you by, was all part of your Blue Pill conditioning. At that point you need to understand that there is most definitely a hope for a better remake of yourself based on truths that were learned in the hardest way.

To end this I’m going to quote the comment of a man I met when I spoke at the 21 Convention in September. I won’t use his name, but after we talked he confessed that he was the commenter here. He’d made the trip to the convention to meet me face to face, to thank me for my work and gave me permission to use his example in a post. I won’t quote it entirely, but you can read the whole thing here. His situation is an example of, and inspiration for, everything I’ve illuminated in this essay

After a long marriage I divorced the mother of my children. A couple of years later, after some casual dating, I met a woman I would come to describe as my soulmate. I got married young – but this time, with all my infinite wisdom gained over the years – I was finally wise enough to pick a woman I was super compatible with.

We were together for a few years and even lived together. Things started out great and it was mostly smooth sailing until we moved in together – at which time I slowly allowed myself to be betaized in a slow motion, excruciating painful way.

About a month after breaking up with her I fully planned to commit suicide. I wrote a long letter explaining my rationalization and took other affirmative steps towards going through with it. About a week after I wrote the note – with D(eath) Day fast approaching – I took a break from getting my affairs in order to surf the net. I stumbled upon an Ask Reddit thread that was bad mouthing various subreddits. Some feminazi or male feminist mentioned the Red Pill subreddit as an example of a subreddit filled with craziness, and I decided to check what all of the fuss was about. Now

I’m not a religious man, but I will never rule out divine intervention. The timing of finding TRP – by complete coincidence no less – couldn’t have been more fortuitous. I stayed up all night reading the side bar – Rollo’s essays having the deepest effect on me – and everything…just…clicked….Talk about connecting the dots! Wow! It was very much like a come to Jesus moment. It was like divinity revealed secret knowledge to me just when I needed it the most – knowledge that gave me hope and very well may have saved my life. This all went down not really that long ago in actual time – but from where I metaphorically stand now it seems like an eternity.

Stay strong my friends, you can rebuild yourself even in the face of being zeroed out.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

666 comments on “Men and Suicide

  1. @Blaximus – that was what is called a “bad shoot” in some circles. They happen every few years, sometimes in the course of SWAT actions, sometimes other situations. Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to everyone, though. Not saying I approve in any way, just saying it’s not as common as you might think.

    There’s probably some real tension in that town between the DA, the cops and the judge. Because it’s unusual for a cop to get charged with 2nd degree homicide (DA / cop tension) while the judge chose to exclude Officer Hotshot’s engraved gun from evidence (DA / judge tension). I am not a lawyer but that exclusion ruling is pure bullshit, because the engraving clearly shows the ossifers mindset and that has direct bearing on his actions. If a mere citizen had that engraving on a gun and he used it in a totally clean self defense case it still might be enough to put him in prison, or bankrupt him in civil damages. Or both.

    The worst part is, Officer Hotshot might just be able to leave the state and find another cop job.

  2. @ AR

    I have lots of friends and family that are in law enforcement, so I understand, depending on where they work, the inherent danger of the job. But the shooting to kill unarmed citizens is a problem that needs to be addressed. I’m told that it has many factors involved, one being training.

    My thing is, ” fix that “.

    I was once pulled over when I was about 19 or so. 2 cops approached with guns drawn screaming and yelling. One came to my passenger side, the other on the driver’s side. Both stuck their guns inside the car aimed at me. I asked them what did I do and was told to shut the fuck up.

    One cop told me if I moved one muscle he was going to blow my head off, while simultaneously the other said to put both hands on the steering wheel or he was going to blow my brains out. For a split second they both kinda chuckled realizing the commands then I was pulled from the car and thrown on the grown with a 200 pound cop on my back contorting my arms behind me to cuff me. They left me cuffed on the ground until another unit showed up with a seargent. They talked among themselves for a bit, then uncuffed me and said I was free to go, all got in their cars and left. No explanation no apology, nothing.

    Now they’re killing with surprising regularity.

    The video I posted of a 26 year old cop killing a 26 year old man gives me shivers. Even with a bodycam, the cop didn’t bother to calibrate. He truly gave no fucks.

    If there is justice that officer should be heading to prison. If there’s justice.

    Of course it’s not all cops. It’s probably like 1 or 2%. But that tiny number are killing with state sanction. And that’s actually more of a problem than the cops actual behavior.

    Criminals and murderers killnand execute people. Cops are supposed to be the opposite.

  3. @ Novaseeker


    Quotidian female rivalry over provisioning is catty, gossipy. It self-induces, auto perpetuates. I don’t need to contribute to that. If ya wanna get along, advance in femcentricity, go along though. Yep.

    Don’t expect women to want to fuck you and you’ll be setting yourself up for “creepy” status, perhaps. As you’ve written, Novaseeker, that’s best done superduper obliquely.

    I was aiming at the more feral nature. Alas, I’m not smart enough yet to figure out something this strategic: How to stoke interfemale discord, if needed, enticing them back to men away from the cultural suicide path we’re on if only on the margins.

    A push pull approach perhaps, appearing Alpha up on our side, pulling, just enough, and remove the ostensible benefit of female autoprovisioning, just enough, the push. Let them come to us.

    Hell, the women I work with are sad and frustrated. Most work for health insurance. What’s leftover, women eat and drink their disappointment away, overeating, screaming-laughing at Bennigan’s by 6 PM.

    Saw it yesterday night. (BTW last night was a blast.)

    IMO, half the sales pitch is done.

    They can’t be trusted to actively choose their futures. They must be led, I’m saying, too.

    Small scale example:

    A co-worker could get women to physically fight over him, on the job, once at a company Christmas party. He wasn’t all that good looking, didn’t try that hard either. He was Beta even at times.

    His true love fiancee left him, he recovered and then he blew through every new hire, really pretty ones too. Two came to ETOH fueled blows at the above party. Awwwesooome.

    His catch phrase: “EhIntellect, I gotta see her naked. Dude…I mean it.”

    They’d come to him with little prompting.

    He did settle down tho…and was immediately fleeced, divorced within 6 mos. Poor guy.

  4. “Of course it’s not all cops. It’s probably like 1 or 2%.”

    The other 99% are aligned with the 1%. There’s no justice there either.

    I’m paranoid still.

  5. Blax, that was some pretty crap treatment you got and good example of idiot cops. I know a ton of cops and few would act like that. Like you wrote, its 1 or 2%. With easy access to social media examples like that spread like wildfire and skew the public perception. There sure are racist cops out there that assume any black person they pull over is a criminal. They are a minority but inflict serious dick behavior against those they are harassing.

    I learned early on to always put my hands on the steering wheel as the cops approach your car. Taught my kids that and told them to always be polite. Save the commentary for after they have relaxed a bit. No matter how polite you are there can always be the dick who will be a dick to you. I don’t consider it luck, but I’ve talked my way out of getting cited a number of times by being polite and admitting I was in a hurry, or didn’t realize the tail light was out etc…Most cops are stressed and just want to end their shift alive. In my previous line of work I interacted with the police on almost a daily basis. Almost all the time the cops behaved and acted professionally. Admittedly, I probably got better treatment more often when I got pulled over because they recognized me and my gear sitting on the front seat. The average young guy driving a beater late at night will immediately make cops alert to potential danger. How those cops reacted to you was simply outrageous.

    Training and experience are key to a lot of situations. What most people don’t realize is how many times the average cop has had his life threatened or been in situation that could have easily gotten out of control had they not used just the right amount of force. That shit builds up after time and gets ingrained into their behavior and reactions. Not making excuses, but until one walks in their shoes it is hard to understand, or care about.

  6. Meh… Narrative du jour.

    50+ cops shot and killed a year…

    A lot like this… Note the off camera pleading for his life.

    “What you got?” Lard can be heard yelling as he fired his gun.

    Later, Schmidt can be heard pleading with Lard off-camera: “Please don’t shoot me. Please don’t shoot me again”

    Perspective is important. How many traffic stops or other detentions per year? How many dead cops? Civilians?

    This is what happens in the zone of uncertainty.

    For YOU pay attention, listen, no sudden moves.

    And it’s not a black thing. Lol. In high school i was pulled over by a white cop who was an asshole and didn’t like a 17yo driving a BMW. Just wanted to fuck with me. So yeah people in authority can be bullies.

    No it’s the #MeToo crowd.


  7. Blaximus
    The video I posted of a 26 year old cop killing a 26 year old man gives me shivers. Even with a bodycam, the cop didn’t bother to calibrate. He truly gave no fucks.

    Going only by the bodycam and the image of his gun, he had no business being a cop at all.

  8. Blaximus
    I was once pulled over when I was about 19 or so. 2 cops approached with guns drawn screaming and yelling.

    That serious reference experience had effects on your amygdala that last to this day. Other people have other reference experiences with cops. Something to think about.

    A lot of younger cops have been recruited from ex-military in the last 10 years, and their reference experiences don’t lead them to be Officer Friendly. It’s like a podunk town buying an MRAP complete with machineguns as a patrol vehicle. Something bad will happen eventually. I wonder about the background of that Arizona cop, because 5 rounds into a proned out suspect due to a furtive movement is a whole lot more like Fallujah than “civilian peace officer”.

  9. @ Sentient,
    Gammaybe, I don’t rightly know. What’s a Gamma again?

    @ boulderhead
    Not so fast, the Sexual Misconduct Act of 2023 allows credible claims of sexual harassment to be passed down to the victim’s heirs and assignees to 7 generations, and claims can be made against the perpetrator’s estate or descendants for the same period. However, it is argued by women’s advocacy groups that the 7 generations limitation is unfair and should be removed. They also advocate for the ability to file additional claims as the technology for detecting sexual harassment improves and the penalty awards become more fair.

    @ All — I have found that I have an amazing talent for killing threads. So, I offer these quotes from, “Identity Politics and the Marxist Lie of White Privilege” By Jordan B. Peterson, posted by Rugby11 (Thanks!)

    “To attribute to the individuals of a community, the attributes of that community on the basis of their racial identity is called racism. That’s what racism is. There’s no other way of defining it. It’s attributing to the individual, the characteristics of the group as if the group was homogenous.”

    Conclusion: 1:54:45

    “The post modernists are wrong. They’re philosophically naïve. They’re right about an infinite number of interpretations and wrong about a finite number of viable interpretations and that’s like that’s, that’s death. That’s the end of post modernist theory and that’s not the only way in which they’re wrong. They’re wrong in a bunch of other ways but they’re more subsidiary.

    The Marxists, they’re not just wrong; They’re wrong and murderous or wrong, murderous and genocidal. Unless you think murderous and genocidal doesn’t mean wrong. And you, you can think that, there’s lots of would-be revolutionaries who would be happy to have blood running in the street if they had their chance for revenge and the opportunity to move up the hierarchy of tyranny. So, you, you don’t have to think that murder and genocide is wrong especially if the right people are murdered and genocided. Right, that’s actually part of the whole equation, but, if you’re willing to think that murder and genocide on a mass scale across many cultures over many decades is wrong, then, Marxism is wrong.

    And the post modernists don’t get to come along and adopt Marxism as a matter of sleight of hand, because their Marxist Theory didn’t work out and they figured out a rationalization. They don’t get to get away with that because it’s too dangerous, it’s too dangerous to the rest of us.

    And we don’t, and it isn’t necessary for us who are trying with the small part of our hearts that might be oriented towards the good, to allow people who are manipulating us with historical ignorance and philosophical sleight of hand to render us so goddamn guilty about what our ancestors may or may not have done. So that we allow our shame and our guilt to be used as tools to manipulate us into accepting a future that we do not want to have.”

  10. All of this rationalization resumes into fear. Just become Fearless. Fear no woman, Fear no rejection. Fear no men. Fear no ideology. Fear no solitude. Act to your own standards, you define what`s right or wrong. Be your own God. Just make yourself comfortable first in all situations. Relax, show who you are. Have the balls to build the world you want for yourself.

    Respect to all of you who want the better of manhood, Rollo, Blaximus, Yareally, et al.

  11. @If I fell.

    “The post modernists are wrong. They’re philosophically naïve. They’re right about an infinite number of interpretations and wrong about a finite number of viable interpretations and that’s like that’s, that’s death. That’s the end of post modernist theory and that’s not the only way in which they’re wrong. They’re wrong in a bunch of other ways but they’re more subsidiary.”

    This reminds me of a recent exchange on facebook I had. Me and my big mouth… I rarely go on facebook, but a woman I know that was married (she divorced him) to a friend of mine. She’s got over 1,000 ‘friends’ and is the director of some Women and Society center at a major university. She’s a definitely an influence vector in the pomo- feminist world. I responded to a belligerent #metoo post she made challenging men in general – as in where are all the male allies, and why are women’s #metoo posts so devoid of male white knight responses. I wrote a fairly long screed in which I told her why – essentially saying that aside from instances where women are physically overpowered, or underage, that #metoo is bullshit. That women need to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for what they experience in life – THAT’S essentially what most men actually think, if you really wanna know. Of course from the chorus of responses you’d think I was the devil himself.

    What was interesting about the whole thing, was the way she encouraged her deranged and damaged minions to respond- and the ones who responded tended to be really really damaged – but only if they could do so safely. ie without getting too triggered. And when I kept tesponding with sound, reasoned logic, she quickly decided to ‘shut down’ the thread, after she had the last word. I wasn’t giving her the last word, and then I was deemed abusive, disrespectful and unsafe, because I wasn’t honoring her unilateral right to dictate the terms of the conversation. She made a reference to our collective ‘liberation’ – which included me, because of course men are oppressed by the patriarchy and toxic masculinity as well. Lol.

    Anyway, trying to get to the point here, it was interesting during the course of this exchange watching her trying to manipulate me, but she and this other pomo Phd student I knew, were clearly also manipulating these damaged women, clearly exploiting their rage and pain, channeling it into politicized action. It was *very* interesting and gave me some insight into just how insidious leftist politics have become. These are skilled puppet-masters pulling strings, orchestrating chaos, manipulating their unsuspecting constituents in the name of society-wide liberation, in order to increase their own power. I believe most people on the left have no idea what is actually happening, what they are actually doing.

    I dropped out of a graduate program in American Studies 25 years ago, (which I went into because I had no idea what else to do at the time) after being introduced to Foucoult, Derrida, and pomo feminist theory. At the time I thought it was kind of interesting in an amusing way, but also saw it as a bunch of nonsense that had no relevance to the ‘real’ world outside of academia. People who were into it loved how sophisticated and radical – and elite – it made them. It really does take graduate level work to understand this shit. I thought of it as harmless nonsense.

    Boy was I wrong. 25 years ago this stuff was confined to the universities, and had begun to be promulgated in undergrad education, and that generation is now at the peak of their career in the bueaucracies, and legislatures, courts and media. The long march through the institutions has been accomplished. The totalitarians have successfully reinvented themselves from the discredited marxism, and disguised themselves under the cloak of compassion and fairness – and nearly half the country, and probably a majority of millenials have swallowed this fraudulent bullshit whole.

    In this fb exchange I was calling her out on her manipulation of her minions and the corrupt fraudulence of her politics. She simply refused to engage in any reasoned argument and told her minions that it was unwinnable.

    Why, was an argument defending her politics unsinkable? I asked her.

    Because Reason is a tool of the Patriarchy? ( I learned that in feminist theory). Because it takes a graduate course in critical theory to understand the basis of your politics?

    And how does that square with the basis of democracy, which is premised on the idea that reason is a natural faculty of Man, and therefore Man has the capacity to govern himself?

    And with that she *immediately* deleted the whole thread. Because the Empress does not wish anyone to see that she wears no clothes. Lol

    Trumps election caught *everybody* by surprise – even Trump himself. It will be very very interesting to watch how things play out going forward. It will also be interesting to see what happens wrt Jordan Peterson – his profile is rising, he’s got their number, and as such he will soon become an ‘enemy of the people.’ I’ve never before been a paranoid sort of person, but lately I find I am tempted more and more.

    Stay tuned and stay aware.

  12. Hmmm . . . Rollo, this article woke me up to a much bigger picture.

    and it’s not just in America where this is happening.

    But it’s clearly an analagous situation. Men are being lied to about more than just women. Farmers are being exploited by the big boys, agricorps that take advantage of cheap transportation costs to arbitrage their labor against that of farmers in other countries, drivin profitablity down, until the farmer faces loss of his land, where they further profit by consolidating acreages.

    But you average farmer is as unsphisticated about this as your average married man is about the truth about women. As unsophisticated as the factory worker who is seeing his work arbitraged against factory workers in Burma and Malaysia who will work for a quarter the wage he can.

    There are many other areas of life which need to be red pilled . . .

  13. IIF and Mitch,

    Great stuff, timely as my son and I were discussing Othello this weekend, how people rationalize away errors in judgement to protect ego, creating a sophisticated Rube Goldberg theory to solve an otherwise simple problem.

    Only the annointed-educated believe this stuff as most do not have the luxury of idle time to scrape together a happy, fertile life predicated on socially polite fictions.

    Come to think of it, I haven’t met a happy feminist either. That goes back, IMO, to a woman’s desire for drama and without men they en masse guard dog spin up, pouring venom online as a substitute for natural feminine subservience.

    Was out this weekend, new venues, the women AWALT, looking for leadership, vulnerable with a empowered shellac. They were easy enough opening, it was fun. One unfamiliar lady showered compliments on wifey, her fulsome praise was manipulative. After 5” she turned her mania onto me, I dodged and switched tables, surrounded us with another crowd.

  14. Oh and it’s telling that: the women’s studies director manipulated-whips her followers into the dervish frenzy and at some point even she doesn’t believe that woman-can-do-no-wrong narrative and deleted the comment thread.

    They can’t believe they’re getting away with it, when embarrassed enough will scrub comment history in damage control.

  15. @ eh,

    Yeh, its weird. These are very cynical people. I question how much they believe their own shit – and I’m talking about the real string-pullers, not your garden-variety SJW, whose most likely just an idealistic but confused kid, or a busy bleeding heart adult who doesn’t have the time to think things through.

    Another funny thing: the nextmorning her FB post was a call to have people say something nice to her because poor baby, she was having a rough morning. After about 50 comments of “oh _____, you are sooo brave! So beautiful! Sooo freaking awesome!!!!” In my comment I asked her if the cognitive dissonance was hurting her head, or was it just the moral shame you feel because you know damn well you’re a fraud? Hmmm?

    Took her about 2 seconds after I commented for her to unfriend me. Her fb game is tiiiight! Lol.

    Btw, for guys who like to bang the shit out of intersectional feminists, here’s a handy list of questions you might want to prepare responses to:

  16. The league is having such a tough time finding fans to fill seats that some tickets are selling for the unheard of price of three dollars a seat, Breitbart Sports reported on Sunday. In many cases tickets are selling for prices lower than the cost of buying a beer or a hot dog in most stadiums!

    Bend over, NFL owners. This is what you get by caving to political correctness.

  17. A good friend of mine told me a story of another friend of his who was hauled into jail for drunkenness and lost $500 to the cops who arrested him. They pretended that he only had ten bucks in his wallet.

  18. I like the caption under intersectional chick pic:

    “Two people on a date with one looking unimpressed.”

    No shit, honeybuns.

    They have low regard for the readership intelligence and, ironically, mansplaining the obvious.

  19. Nice report Mitch, but nothing seems more pointless than arguing with a woman — except arguing with a woman on Facebook.

  20. OBIT,

    you’re right, and I can hardly believe its taken me so many years to figure that out. Old habits die hard. I looove to argue, my mother used to say id argue with a post if it could argue back.

    However….in this case, with over 1,000 potential people reading, you never know who might have had a light bulb go off. How many silent men read that, and thought, yeah fuck he’s right, and good for him for saying so, and maybe ill speak up next time too. You never know.

  21. I was like that 30, 40, 50 years ago — always had to have the last word. But living with a woman and working almost exclusively with women finally helped me see the futility in that. I still get the last word — but only in my own mind!

    You fought the good fight and maybe gave some guys the wake-up call. But Facebook for a guy is like being thrown to the lions in the Coliseum. The F1 has a big home advantage there

  22. But seriously,

    Co-sign that. Guys act, women talk.

    Hence all these femininism gains are just that words until enforced by men with guns.

  23. Mitch, could one of your anti FI FB comments be used against you? Are your attorney coworkers, or whatever checking your posts on the sly?

    HR decisions need not be public.

    “Mitch we’ve decided to eliminate your position. Leave your things. Security will escort you out.”

  24. ASD
    Hilarious indeed. Sounds like the observation once made about college English departments: The infighting is so vicious because the stakes are so low.

    Meanwhile, there are some men off on the periphery actually getting the coding done.

  25. @eh and OBIT,

    Absolutely, I’ve thought of that. Why I’m glad she deleted the thread. Something about the tone of her OP, and who she is, I just couldn’t resist. I rarely even look at fb, and if I do post or comment, I’ve always been careful to keep it free of political content. Since its inception FB has always given me the heebee jeebies. It is creepy as fuck.

    # Me too last word in my own mind. My wife taught me that! I will say though that I have several exes who were always good-faith arguer. The best was an ex who would say yes, yes, logically, you are right, but I don’t care…

    as long as a woman owns her shit, we do just fine.

  26. women don’t have sympathy for a man. A man killing himself is a weak man, just like a man who cries in any instance of tragedy even to his owns parents death a man cannot stay down for long. Nature is has no compassion and females are the human form no different than a dog is a form of nature.

    A man without top looks or status or money has great reason to kill himself. A low SMV man with no value, actually literally, has no use to society except to be a slave to keep the economy running to support chads and chads women. To realize you will never ever be able to generate raw sexual attraction from a female is something some men just can’t take.

  27. Today is not like any other day, I too feel the need to end it all but thank God I found TRP, I forever will be grateful for being alive to read this information. Even if I value nothing but me at least I still have me.

  28. ReaderX speaks for me. I’m 65. I was married a long time, 43 years, kids grown and gone. My now ex-wife wasn’t happy and engineered our separation and eventual divorce to get at the hard earned savings I was keeping for our retirement. After our separation, I also did some casual dating and met a woman I thought I could live with. We starting spending a lot of time together, and early on, she demanded exclusivity. Following the advice of my therapist (a woman), I gave her exclusivity and cut the casual dates out of my life. I thought I was rebuilding my life with this woman, however what I slowly came to realize I also was being betaized in a slow motion painful way, just as ReaderX alluded to. She was training me to be her beta provider.

    Now, realize that I had read The Rational Male repeatedly before I met this woman. I met a man early last year who turned me on to TRP. I read everything I could get my hands on. In spite of reading TRP, in spite of all the advice, in spite of everything, I let myself get led down the betaization path. I now look at what I was doing with this woman and I have to gag. I knew better, yet I wanted to go back to my beta ways so much. I knew not to grant her exclusivity. I knew not to over-invest in her. I knew abundance mentality, that I could easily replace her. I knew not to give up my interests. I knew there’s no such thing as free pussy. All I can say is that I wanted to get back what I had lost.

    The day I moved into my own condo with all my stuff surrounding me, I was zeroed out. I thought WTF, what just happened? How could this happen to me? Suicide was an option to end the pain, and I have to admit, it crossed my mind.

    What I’ve learned the hard way is that rebuilding yourself is a slippery slope. It’s all too easy to fall back into your old beta ways. I knew better than to take the deal she was offering. Yet I was still taking it. What would have helped me is a framework for the rebuilding. I’m not saying a one-size fits all cookbook, since every man’s experience is different, but a map or guide to get to a more satisfying existence. Call it “You’re a Man: Now Rebuild Your Life”.

    A man needs a strong wake up call to start the rebuild process. In ReaderX’s experience, it was TRP. In my case, it was a long winter vacation to beaches late last year, where I felt totally useless, and found myself getting lazy and complacent. Whatever it takes.

  29. I’m glad you wrote this post, I could remember I get to know about your blog when someone posted a link to your year one archieve on reddit/the red pill

    Before that I contemplated suicide several times but couldn’t go through with it due to religious beliefs. Though I understood/agree with the articles but the damage was already done by the time I landed upon your site. I was not only in my spilling year, I was also struggle to get a third class in a shitty course as that’s the best I could do at the time.
    In a family of 5 boys I was the only one that came out ugly, so basically my life was the opposite of my brothers. So I figure that to be liked, I’ve to be nice to both boys and girls; I do most of the house chores with no complain and the most I get is that I’m a good guy; I’m so blue that in uni I do a better job helping friends in writing assignment than to write mine.
    I manage to finish last year and now I’m back at home struggling to find work, problem is the country I’m in (Third World) not only is rule by nepotism but my result is poor and the course I studied is no longer in demand. So that crippling thought of offing myself is back again but I know better now; which is hold up and hope I find something as I try to rebuild myself. Thank you Roll

  30. I had independently reached the idea that men are well aware of their disposability; a dude can knock up 15 women in a week and go get himself blown up and still leave a profound genetic legacy. It’s pretty obvious why I’m so discontented with my life in modern society. In a few thousand years we’ve gone from punching bears in the face to living entirely sedentary lives in climate-controlled buildings. A few thousand years is not enough time to evolve and adapt. So while searching to see if anyone shared this theory I found this article, and it really clicked. I had no idea that what I was feeling was so common, and the way it’s laid out it is really, well, rational.

    I knew of the concept of Red Pill from Reddit, but I’d written it off as tools and concepts for PUAs to use while chasing tail. Many of us have though it at some point: “Oh, I’m different. I’m looking for a LTR not a hookup.” I’m a grandmaster Beta. I was raised by a single mother who, to her credit, loathed modern feminism and was well aware of the ingrained biological differences between sexes, but I had sparse opportunities to learn how to be a man. When I was 15, I even made a promise with a girl “best friend” that if we were both unmarried at 30 we’d hitch up. I was already aware that even if I become the perfect “nice guy” that I wouldn’t get any women until they were “used up” and had kids and shit. I knew I’d never fuck a woman in her prime. Still I held on for the unicorn that was never going to come. Probably the same year is when I started wanting to suck-start a shotgun. Coincidence?

    I spent the next 14 years completely failing to attract any worthwhile women and feeling more and more dejected with each rejection. Certainly related to my upbringing, I’d put every girl on a pedestal and desperately sought her approval. My entire identity was about pleasing women. I felt fucking worthless when they walked all over me. I made detailed plans about my suicide, wrote notes, and even made a kit with all of the gear in it so I could just grab it and GTFO. I have done everything I was “supposed to do” to become a good provider. I busted ass to pay my way through an engineering degree, got a high-paying (but miserable, sedentary) job, and made myself subservient to literally every woman in my life. I paid for one chick’s abortion because the guy who knocked her up said she was a slut and he wasn’t going to help finance it. Now they’re married.

    I looked on the angry men in the TRP and PUA communities. Now I get it. I wish I could’ve understood this before I reached a boiling point, but honestly I wouldn’t have believed that I’d become so jaded. Thank God that I’m not married, and I’m still young enough to turn it around.
    I don’t know if The Rational Male will save my life like it did for many others, but since the alternative is death there is zero reason not to go all-in and try it. Being the man women SAID they wanted me to be didn’t work. At all. Period. I’ve read dozens of articles, bought the first book, and I’m actually glad to be at rock-bottom with my entire worldview in shambles. It’s the perfect opportunity to build myself into the man I know I can be.

    Thanks Rollo + the community. Literally probably the most important website I’ve ever discovered.

  31. @OrangeZipper

    “I don’t know if The Rational Male will save my life like it did for many others, but since the alternative is death there is zero reason not to go all-in and try it. Being the man women SAID they wanted me to be didn’t work. At all. Period. I’ve read dozens of articles, bought the first book, and I’m actually glad to be at rock-bottom with my entire worldview in shambles. It’s the perfect opportunity to build myself into the man I know I can be.

    Thanks Rollo + the community. Literally probably the most important website I’ve ever discovered.”

    If you can get through denial, anger, bargaining and depression and get to acceptance. If you can move forward and learn red pill awarness and game from a healthy perspective, the world is your oyster.

    There is no question this community can definitely save your life. And get you agency.

    If you want any personalized conversation contact me at my google mail address.
    User name: inscrutablemastermind. I have a few resources. And lots of manosphere reading resources in my electronic library as needed.

    I don’t need any more friends, but you are worth helping as long as you are not a douche, weak, or want to buffer your way through life.

    Otherwise, keep reading. and give it a couple years to sink in.

  32. I think this is just one cause of the problem: a feeling of general disenfranchisement and the resulting resentment.

    To paraphrase what you said, at some point in their lives, they start to believe there is no place in society for them (because they think it’s corrupt, it abandoned them, etc.) and they get very resentful over this fact. It festers until they lash out either in the form of suicide or by running people over/shooting up a school. Some get over this resentment, others don’t.

    Blue pill idealism is definitely a major cause of this feeling these days but I don’t think it’s the only one.

  33. re. your comment about men in a mass shooting shielding themselves for women – I was reading re the George Sodini shooting yesterday and found this telling bit: “”All of us girls were just ducking behind each other and it was just, you know, I was behind a girl, one of the girls in front to get hit, and when he was in the opposite corner shooting, I booked it,” Falk told WPXI-TV.”

    only women in the room and yes, not the most heroic display, is it?

    I don’t have the desire to look at all the eyewitness accounts of all other mass shooters but it would be interesting to see if in fact it was always the men/boys (in case of school shootings) that placed themselves in harms way. In this case, there were no men so see what happens

  34. One method to cope and still come out a winner: Become a school or amok shooter and kill many people. Think about what sex is about: Spread your genes, increase their share in the population. If you cannot get sex, your genes are about to be killed off, their share in the
    population will fall. Worse than mere death, your genes, you, are exterminated genetically, because your line ends. BUT if you kill people you hate – which mostly carry genes different from yours – you reduce their genetic share in the population. Copies of your genes in other
    people you spare killing will then have a larger share in the population still alive and fertile. This is the genetic logic of mass shootings/killings: If your instincts tell you that you will fail sexually because you are too low social status, you can still increase the share
    of your genes in the population by killing many of those who have different genes from yours. Sex and mass shootings, school shootings etc. fulfill the same genetic objective.
    This is a reason sex-denied men, for example in China, go often on killing spreads in schools, kindergartens etc. – not only are the targets there concentrated and more easily killed, they also are one’s sexual enemies’ reproductive fruit – deleting them deletes sexual success.

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