Confidence and the Safety Net

Presently I’m putting the final touches on my third book, The Rational Male – Positive Masculinity. I’m now going through the final proofing stages of the print version while I await the reformatting for the digital version. As if that weren’t enough, this time of year tends to be my busiest with regard to promo gigs and brand developments stuff for my “real” job. So if my posts for the next couple of weeks seem a bit sporadic that’s why.

In the midst of this, however, I came across a comment by a long time lurker, Logic, that dovetailed so perfectly with the Afterword of the new book so well that I’ve decided to quote parts of it in the book:

I don’t comment a lot in this blog. However, I think it is important to make a comment that many will probably disagree with but is certainly true for me.

If you ask someone what is the greatest benefit he gained by reading Rollo’s articles, I am sure that you will get various responses:

“I finally got laid”

“I managed to successfully spin plates”

“I understood the true nature of women”

“I stopped giving a fuck and focused on myself (and the women came after)”


I am sure that all of these are true, not the least reason being that I have experienced these benefits myself.

However, if I may suggest an unpopular opinion, the greatest benefit that one gets from reading Rollo’s article is the fact that you are giving yourself a safety net. And the most important thing in my opinion is that you give yourself this safety net EVEN IF you don’t truly believe what Rollo writes.

If I may elaborate briefly, by safety net I mean LITERALLY safety net. The safety net’s purpose is not for you not to fall. It is for you not to DIE after you have fallen. I believe this is an important distinction (and forgive me Rollo if you have touched on this in one of your articles already). At least for me this is HUGE.

There is a nontrivial probability that you ARE going to fall. Unless you really swear to not EVER feel ANY emotional connection with a woman, then it is highly likely that at some point you WILL fall in love with a girl. Sure, I am positive that many guys will consider that this is something that they can control now that they are Red Pill aware, but you MAY at some point fall in love and you WILL lose your “cool” (btw if you don’t want to call it love call it infatuation; there will be a girl whose combination of laughter, looks, mannerisms and personality will produce this to you; if you want to deny it go ahead and you may be right. But as I said this is just MY humble opinion).

So where does the whole “safety net” come into play? Well, it comes into play when things go south. You WILL loose your cool and she might not notice but then again she also may notice. You will think that this girl is different. Again, it is easy to say that AWALT, but you are not dealing with a bunch of 1s and 0s. It is a human being, standing in front of you, with a personality, with a voice, with interests, opinions and the like. So your brain will tell you that THIS one is different.

And when it turns out that she is not, and she goes cold or dumps you, or cheats on you, then my friend you are going to be JUST FINE. Because you have a safety net. I am not saying that you won’t be sad (you will) but you won’t try to throw yourself under a bridge. The safety net is placed there for a simple reason. The reason is that, in the beginning stages of your infatuation, before you started thinking that she is “not like that”, a little voice inside of you said “You have read about this situation in the Rational Male brother. This may be an illusion. Be careful”.

Yes, you muted that voice for a while, but you never killed it. And when the inevitable happened this little voice came back and said ” Oh well. We knew it. Nothing wrong with giving it a shot. Now let’s move on. Hey check out Little Miss Perkytits at the counter.”

I know that many of you will laugh at this but, to me at least this is a big deal. I also think that the analogy of the safety net is pretty accurate. Even if all of Rollo’s writings hadn’t helped me AT ALL with getting laid, improving myself etc and THE ONLY benefit was gaining that safety net, I think that reading Rollo’s articles would have still bee very much worth it.

I thought this metaphor of a safety net was apt. The history that comes after a man has unplugged himself from his old Blue Pill mindset is in some ways more poignant that what a man does while he is still trapped in his old way of thinking. It’s easier to forgive yourself of the decisions you made in Blue Pill ignorance, but when you become Red Pill aware you own those decisions. As Logic points out, you can only read and absorb what I or any other Red Pill author has to relate to you – at some point you’re going to either consciously or not put this new awareness into practice.

As such you’re bound to make mistakes or false starts. No one makes it on their first jump. It takes time and practice along with an educated Red Pill awareness to internalize and transition into a new way of life. One reason I wrote A New Hope was to help newly unplugged men get past the anger and nihilism stages of unplugging, but also to warn them that the want to achieve the old Blue Pill idealistic hopes will be a strong impulse until they come into a new understanding of Red Pill, realistic, hopes for themselves. In that stage, and even after, there will always be mistakes and falls along the way.

The difference now is that you have a new confidence in the knowledge that Red Pill awareness provides for you. Whereas before you struggled with both a lack of understanding intersexual dynamics and the deliberate misdirection of you ever understanding it, now you have the Red Pill Lens. Now you have a perspective that in most ways insulates you from ever thinking your situation is hopeless. Red Pill awareness provides you with a map and a safety net that allows you to make accurate corrections to your Game, to your relationships and to your life no matter if you fall, no matter your temporary setback. Many a disingenuous critic would have men believe the Red Pill is all about anger or fomenting a belief that men are victims of an unfair system, but what they conveniently ignore is the overwhelmingly positive effect Red Pill awareness has in men’s lives. A great source of confidence comes from a man knowing he’s been emancipated from a Blue Pill paradigm that’s conditioned him to blind himself to its influence.

Reader, and long-time friend, Morpheus responded with this:

Exactly right. All of it!

My 2nd marriage recently ended (about 6 weeks ago my wife left me and informed me she was filing for divorce) and to be honest I’ve sort of surprised myself just how emotionally unaffected I’ve been compared to my first marriage ending (which was before Red Pill, Rollo, and Rational Male). I’ve actually had multiple people comment incredulously at just how well I am doing. I’ve recommitted to a much more intense and frequent workout regimen, and am down about 20 pounds in those 6 weeks.

I credit my Red Pill perspective for enabling me to stay relatively stoic about it all, and refocus on something positive. I think it helps that I realize I haven’t lost my “Soulmate” because that is bullshit to begin with, and that women are fungible at least partly. Don’t get me wrong, I really do feel like I lost by best friend and have times of sadness. It certainly helps to realize that “Little Miss Perktits/Tight Ass/Tighter Wetter Pussy” is out there, and I’ll be fucking her soon enough.

I’d add that my Red Pill perspective also clues me in to what awaits my soon to be ex-wife who is 43 going on 53 in terms of her menopausal stage and very overweight (we started dating when she was 32 with the body of a fitness model). Schadenfreude is probably the wrong term since I don’t actively wish her a horrible experience in the SMP, but I do know she is in for a very rude awakening once she tests the dating waters.

But yeah, you are absolutely right. The fact of the matter is many “Red Pill” guys are going to form strong emotional bonds with women, and it will hurt when those bonds are severed unless you are a psychopath who doesn’t feel emotions like love, affection, etc. But the most powerful thing about the Red Pill perspective is knowing you will be JUST FINE and that truly the world is filled with other female options.

Anyone who’s read my post What’s Your Problem? probably has a good idea of what motivated me to write what I do going on 16 years now, but when I read stories like this and I get emails or Tweets to let me know how what I’ve made men aware of has somehow changed or saved a man’s life it’s always a humbling experience. As I’ve stated in both my books, I’m not in the business of making better men, I’m in the business of helping men become better men themselves. No formulas, no Top Ten Ways to,… lists, just actionable intelligence; but that information still requires a man come to applying it to his own life in a way which works for him.

Even if all Logic gets from my work is the sense of confidence that he has the right intel about how he can better direct his life despite any momentary downside I consider that a success of my intent as a Red Pill writer. When you look at the appalling statistics of male suicide and you understand the correlation of it with the rise of a feminine-primary social order that teaches men to loathe their own gender and accept their superfluousness, knowing that the Red Pill can provide some insulation against it is encouraging. My first reflex when I read a story like that of Morpheus is to presume the man is a suicide risk; his response to his situation is an example of how Red Pill awareness is not just an exercise in warning and preparing men of what to expect, but also a safety net in case a man must deal with the worst.

From the 16 Commandments of Poon

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

As I get closer to completing whats become a herculean task of finishing this book (it’s now at 340 pages!) I’m taking some time to reflect on what I’ve done not just with this new book, but what I’ve built in the Manosphere for over 15 years now. I may be one of the 3 ‘R’s of the ‘sphere, some might say I’m the godfather of the Red Pill and my work is required reading for the Red Pill Reddit sub, but I’ll never be comfortable with all that so long as there are guys who are still despondent in their Blue Pill paradigm. The Red Pill is ‘open source’ and its strength lies in its decentralized way of openly debating and testing the strength of ideas. I’m humbled that many men have had their lives changed by what I write, but it’s really a testament to their own resolve – all I do is connect dots, remember?

If it’s not too much to ask, for this week’s comment thread I’d like to get some feedback on how the Red Pill has changed your life. Maybe it’s been my work, maybe it’s due to others in the ‘sphere, but as I get closer to finishing book three I wanted to get men’s Red Pill testimonies, so to speak, to help with the summation of the book.


Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

1,056 comments on “Confidence and the Safety Net

  1. I have a medical doctorate and thought I understood human nature well but Rollo’s ideas have blown me away, incredibly insightful. I’m lucky to have a good marriage despite just recently finding his work but they have shed light on past mistakes and have helped me make decisions. I’m quite grateful for his work!

  2. Rollo’s work has changed my life and encourages me to make the effort to make it even better.

  3. The Red Pill brought life back to my marriage once I implemented Dread. I now keep a close watch on my triggers so that I no longer go into a beta rage and am now generally aware of shit tests when they happen. Some of this was because of Rollo’s posts and some because of comments by people on Rollo’s blog.

    Really, Rollo’s ideas have helped me so much as regards understanding women that I could write a book about it.

  4. Wow such an honor Rollo! You have helped us all so much! My comment was the result of some observations regarding my own experiences. Since I am a rather introspecting person, when I realized that something had changed in my internal representation of the world and the way I internally reacted to various events, I knew I had to make a comment and share my experience. External changes are awesome; I love how I can now pull of things I never thought possible. But it is by far the internal mental and psychological changes that happened to me that made all the difference! I thank you once more and if you ever stop by Boston I will be more than happy to grab a drink with you!

  5. Your writing has improved my marriage and my personal life. It also helped me to survive the lose of my job and bounce back better than ever.

  6. @Logic

    I know that many of you will laugh at this but, to me at least this is a big deal.

    nope… that was a GREAT!!! comment… make more…

    every comment is like another thread in that safety net… and you never know what it is exactly that helps reach a man on the other side of the computer screen…

    good luck!

  7. I might have posted that elsewhere, or even here, but if you had given me the choice to never, ever get laid again and understand what had happened in my life or getting laid and remain clueless I would have chosen the former.

    To run into a wall again and again and again while I “did everything the right way” was simply insufferable.

    When I encountered the red pill narrative, my own observations fell neatly into place and I am not entirely sure that women my age foresaw my outlook on live in my 40s when they were in their 20s.

    When I see a woman declaring that she is “hoping to have a child someday” at the tender age of 35, because, up until now, she was busy developing her career as the vice president of paper products in the greater area of Oscosh, Wisconsin, well, I might actually giggle.

    A manly giggle.

    No pot of gold at the end of the carousel, I am afraid.

  8. “I ask not for a lighter burden, but broader shoulders.”

    The problem with Blue Pill reality is it works great as long as nothing goes wrong. But something will always go wrong. Man plans, and God laughs. The essence of manhood is to bear any load life throws at you, and the Red Pill enables you to do that, at least as far as women are concerned. In all the old myths, women represented chaos, and men represented order. Men create order using their masculine abilities. It can’t be any other way.

    Your own ability is the ultimate safety net.

  9. How has the RP changed me? Before I answer that I will be buying your new book as a show of support. Back to the question…

    The red pill has taught me how to see what’s actually there, vs. what’s in my head. There’s no more she so hot or smart so need to do XXX to show her I’m different. No more if I just.. Then she will bullshit. I literally feel no pressure, where as prior to taking the rp I felt a ton of pressure when it came to women.

    The next thing was understanding the realist vs romantics. Accepting that women size men up, what will she have access to whether it’s money, a friend network, resources. She’s eyballing that shit, which makes me so much more relaxed about what I’m getting out of her. On that note also understating women love much differently than men do… So I don’t expect women to be something they can’t be.

    I’d say the next most important thing I’ve learned is self acceptance. I questioned my self, who I am, because I was steeped in blue pill land. I hated where I was but had no clue how to get out. I was too ashamed to ask for help. I found those site in Jan 17 I’ve got a ways to go yet. Man I’m much more confident, I know what I want and I’m much more relaxed. I don’t owe wen anything, dates, my time, money my hard work.. Nothing. That sounds MGTOW ish.. I know. I’m not going there, I don’t have to pressure my self to be with anyone. That’s huge for me. Thank you.

    Side note, a lady I work with her son was cheated on by his GF in college. She told him him to his face. I asked how he responded, he was like “I Love her so much… “I told him mom we need to red pill your son. She read Onitis, sent it on to him in two weeks he kicked her out and was on to the next. I told her alot of mothers raise thier sons wrong, when it comes to dealing with women and dating. She didn’t argue, I think for her it was just a Band-Aid. Help my kid hesin trouble! I hope he keeps reading like I did.

  10. Rollo,

    This is my first time commenting here, but I wanted to say how big of an impact your work (and other manosphere/redpill writing) has been on my life.

    I always had this feeling that I was doing everything wrong in my dating attempts and was frustrated for years.
    Rewind back to April of this year. I had my 29th birthday and on the last throws of my blue pill stages, everything seemed to line up. I listened to your book (Audible) and it was like I was viewing a painting of my life and where I was fucking everything up. I wasn’t angry, I pretty much sat on my anger for 22 years, too nice to express it, too depressed to do anything about it. Rather, I felt this sense of calm, as if all the pieces finally clicked together, like I woke up from a wonderful dream and could still recall the lost knowledge I uncovered.

    I’m sure I’m not the first to say it, but it felt like your book was an abstract biography of my life. My past dating attempts, fully disclosing things about myself, letting my emotions get to me (especially with the few women I’ve dated), overthinking and over analyzing everything, etc.
    I also had that sting of regret, wishing I could have learned this when I was younger, but better late then never.

    The most ground breaking thing for me when I read your book (I still regularly listen to it when I’m inbetween books or can’t quite fall asleep) was the graph of the sexual market value. When it was laid out that a man reaches his peak potential around age 38, I felt this positive feeling about myself and my masculinity then I had never felt before. It all made sense, a man should generally be the most desirable to a woman at this age because he has made something for himself (that’s the hope anyway), he’s reached a level of personal and professional success that proves he is worth a damn.

    Soon after my birthday I bought a sports watch and took up running again. I’ve always been overweight and hated it. I realized I am in the prime of my life I ought to improve my flaws (or I could bitch about them in 7 paragraphs like everyone I know on Facebook). When I first started running I was 231 pounds. I’m down to 214 right now and plan to lift weights soon.
    Professionally I have value too. I work in IT, I’m on a small team and I know that I’m one of the few techs that actually gives a damn and puts in the effort. I know I have value, I get shit done. If my place of employment can’t appreciate that then I’ll work for someone who can, or at least take a higher paying job (Also reading Mastery by Robert Green).

    My whole mindset in regard to women, men and society as a whole has hit a paradigm shift. I feel more prepared for living now then any amount of education or skills could have done for me. I can’t help but think about power, hypergamy, and trying to read people’s behavior (especially women).

    Now it’s one thing to read about all of this, I think a few posts back a commenter was talking about how he was only reading about game / redpill, but not practicing it in the field. That rang true for me and I’ve started reading Neil Strauss and watching the Mystery Method archives. I need to learn to read IOIs and women’s behavior, etc. and put myself out there. That’ll come soon (I also need to update my wardrobe, my clothes are getting baggy!)

    When reading Neil Strauss’s “The Game” I wrote this:
    “I remember most of my highschool and college life feeling frustrated that no one really teaches men how to date, how to ask out women, how to kiss, fuck, keep their interest, how to be interesting, etc. You just have to get it enough to figure that shit out, or stay an angry, lonely loser. I’m glad I’m informed. I wish I was when I was younger, but I know the old me would have scoffed at the me right now. If I could time travel, trying to teach my old self this knowledge could be disastrous. The old me would probably become more depressed knowing that I’d even entertain these ideas, let alone embrace them. The old me would probably consider suicide or worse, knowing that I’d be able to change so drastically both myself and my view of dating and women. The old me would call it ‘unethical manipulation’ and a sad fact that one cannot simply be himself to find someone special. Fuck you old me. You’re a pre-whipped beta pussy who dug his own hole”.

    I’ve gained so much in such a short time, and I’ve got a long way to go still. Thank you Rollo for everything. You lead me down just the right rabbit hole at just right time when I needed it.

  11. The red pill has given me a better understanding of reality and what is and isn’t possible, and with that helped me build a better life. You have to work through denial at first, and I still have a lot I want to improve, but it’s opened up the right path.

    I’m now dating younger and hotter women half my age, able to spin plates as much as I like, and most importantly have a vision for my life and the confidence to go get it. I’m in my early 40’s, wish I discovered it earlier and wish I acted earlier, but better late than never.

  12. After a long marriage I divorced the mother of my children. A couple of years later, after some casual dating, I met a woman I would come to describe as my soulmate. I got married young – but this time, with all me infinite wisdom gained over the years – I was finally wise enough to pick a woman I was super compatible with. We were together for a few years and even lived together. Things started out great and it was mostly smooth sailing until we moved in together – at which time I slowly allowed myself to be betaized in a slow motion, excruciating painful way. About a month after breaking up with her I fully planned to commit suicide. I wrote a long letter explaining my rationalization and took other affirmative steps towards going through with it. About a week after I wrote the note – with D(eath) Day fast approaching – I took a break from getting my affairs in order to surf the net. I stumbled upon an Ask Reddit thread that was bad mouthing various subreddits. Some feminazi or male feminist mentioned the Red Pill subreddit as an example of a subreddit filled with craziness, and I decided to check what all of the fuss was about. Now I’m not a religious man, but I will never rule out divine intervention. The timing of finding TRP – by complete coincidence no less – couldn’t have been more fortuitous. I stayed up all night reading the side bar – Rollo’s essays having the deepest effect on me – and everything…just…clicked….Talk about connecting the dots! Wow! It was very much like a come to Jesus moment. It was like divinity revealed secret knowledge to me just when I needed it the most – knowledge that gave me hope and very well may have saved my life. This all went down not really that long ago in actual time – but from where I metaphorically stand now it seems like an eternity.

    Below are some excerpts from my suicide note:

    It’s like the world has moved on without me. Maybe not “the” world. More like “my” world. All those I care/cared about have moved on. [ex-wife] has a new and much better life with a new man. I’m happy for her. My kids are busy building their lives. Sure they need advice/help/money from time to time but the “needing” of dad from day to day is minimal. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m proud of the independent young adults they are becoming. My friends have moved on. [friend 1 and friend 2] are building new lives with new women. I’m happy for them. [friend 3] senses my distance and respects it. Would expect nothing less from him. [friend 4] moved on years ago. The divorce irrevocably changed our relationship. I lost [list of other friends, neighbors, in-laws and others] in the divorce. That’s a lot of people. The biggest price to pay in the divorce wasn’t money or stress or love. It was the loss of all the people. People who were important to me even if I wasn’t as important to them. Bottom line I have concluded is that I’m expendable. I don’t say this as an expression of self pity or condemnation of those who’ve moved on. I say it as a raw, incontrovertible truth.

    And of course last but not least there is [post-divorce ex girlfriend]. She couldn’t help losing respect for me and the man I have become. It’s not like she treated me with increasing contempt because she was envious of my virtues, wanted to dominant and control me, or was just a bitch by nature. No, she developed contempt for me because I was and am quite contemptable. I let her in too deeply. There is no way to hide your true self when you openly admit and discuss your flaws – and spend an extraordinary amount of time together under the same roof. I think if I were a woman and she was a man than she (he?) would have been more accepting of my flaws. Of course I might have it all wrong with [ex girlfriend]. Maybe it was just too much time together. Maybe that doomed us from the start (of living together). Maybe ultimately it’s that simple. However, I don’t think it’s that simple.

    One thing that never occurred to me until now: Getting your affairs in order in preparation for your premeditated suicide is a very lonely undertaking. It’s not like you can get support from anybody close to you. They will just freak out and try to talk you out of it (or worse). You can’t get support from counselors, doctors, clergy, or even random strangers on the internet. Every last person will be unsupportive (if they think you are at all serious). Suicide is something to be prevented. Period. That’s what is drilled into us over and over and over from all sources. We tell ourselves that all lives have value, it’s not our choice when we die, it an affront to God, yada yada yada. All these reasons for condemning suicide are complete nonsense. There is only one anti-suicide slogan I struggle with: Your suicide will bring pain and suffering to those left behind. Now that’s undeniable. That is, if you have anybody who truly cares. And I have plenty who will care quite a bit: My mom and dad, my siblings, my kids, etc.

    My kids won’t be getting only pain and sadness from my death. They will also be getting a substantial amount of money. This will be very helpful for education, buying a home, and basically improving their financial stability. They will also feel abandoned. And a bunch of other negative emotions. I think the bottom line, the ultimate question is this: How much pain should a man endure to shield his grown children from a traumatic experience? Is me choosing when my death will occur just a selfish act? Why can’t I choose to leave this life when others can still benefit from my death? In a world where freedom of choice is so limited, don’t I get any material say in my destiny? Would I still do it if I was flat broke with no life insurance [note life insurance was fully vested and suicide exclusion no longer applied]? I honestly don’t think so. Not with my current level of pain at least.

    [I’m glad you’re still here brother. Stay strong. You can PM me if you like.]

  13. Thanks Rollo! I have told my story here at least twice, so I’ll just summarize what you/RP has done for me:
    One one saving grace was being very independent and always in control. Pussy whipped men nauseated me completely. Beyond that, I was raised blue pill and completely clueless about game. I came upon Red Pill after an incident where my wife publicly disrespected me and wouldn’t own up to it. I was fixing this or leaving her and through Google (something like “How to dominate your wife”) a new world began to open up.
    At first I craved actionable information and I literally read every possible moment for months. I found your material pretty quickly as well, but since it is more abstract, it took a while for me to really love it. At first, the game and RP info from others hit the spot for me because it was so hard hitting (attitude) and directly actionable. Having multiple sources itself was incredibly valuable, though I am less and less referring back to what I was initially attracted to. Having people on forum’s (especially this forum) share their stories and wisdom has been invaluable. Now, and for some time, your material and the forum here is about 90-95% of what I ingest re Red Pill. Your material has helped me build that strong safety net and create the proper attitude about my new RP life. It is like I have completed my Master’s Degree in RP and working on my PhD (internalization of RP) now. I have bought only two books, both of yours, and will have a 3rd soon! Thank You so much!

    P.S. I would love to do with Economic Knowledge what you have done with RP knowledge

  14. Your book will be another required reading. How has TRP and rollo/roosh et al helped me?
    I grew up a well functioning sports mad kid who for all intents and purposes fit in well. With one caveat. I grew up with a single mother. She did what she could but this dynamic regardless of how hard the mother tries always leaves gaps. My mother also developed schizophrenia and other nervous/paranoid conditions well before my teens. She in essence became a non functioning, completely medicated, guardian by signature only. As a result my teens and early to mid adulthood were a mess. I gained a manly enough qualification/line of work and continued to play sport and appeared to be doing well. But while functioning this way I remained friends with my high school type friends (from your typical low socio/welfare suburb) and kept myself fully entrenched within the crab bucket dynamic. Drinking to damaging levels, clueless about real inter gender dynamics, confused and living beneath my potential. This essentially squandered my prime of life vitality, physical and sporting abilities. Met a girl that I wasn’t suitable for, put significant time and resource into a relationship that was never going to be productive or return a dividend of any symbiosis (I even knew it wasn’t right at the time). This relationship ended after a few years thankfully unencumbered. I met my now wife not long after. We dated for about a year before falling pregnant. Happy to say as much as my life till this point had its fair share of ‘noise’ I always had an accurate people perceptor…..I just didn’t have the confidence, understanding and internal fortitude to follow my instinct…regardless I’m fortunate in that although not knowing why at the time I knew my wife was a good woman. We had cracks appear sometime after the birth of our second child. This is where the manosphere and the writings of initially Athol Kay, then consequently roosh rollo and the rest come in. They literally filled the gap of what a strong positive masculine father should have done. Happy to say I’m the father of three happy well adjusted kids. Have a wife who now fulfills every ideal that I want in a wife and in every regard I’m a husband that wants for nothing. I do well at work in a fantastic career and NEVER experience the cloudy fog of doubt with regard to ALL manner of relations anymore. I see shit for what it is and not what I’m told it is by anyone. This is a massively liberating feeling. My regret is that the red pill and its contributing community weren’t around to prevent me wasting the first twenty years of adulthood but that is something I can not change. I feel I can get my needs met without reliance on ANYONE. Should a person whom I have needs from not meet them then it’s not lifetime levels of anguish to part from them-it just shall be….this is the life and the levels of understanding I want for my three sons from the get go. This is due to the manosphere and your writings. Thankyou

  15. @ReaderX – Glad you’re still around dude. I’ve got to say that’s one of the most powerful comments I’ve read here.

    This kind of thing is what I think about when I see articles about the Red Pill like that one Rollo just posted on Twitter, or I occasionally see RP sites linked and laughed at on other discussion sites I’m on for my work, and RP men called misogynists and worse.

    This place is a safe haven for me – not just Rollo’s posts, but also the community of men who hang out here, and from whom I’ve had so much help and support, that I try to pay forward as much as I can.

    I don’t have anything so dramatic as considering suicide, but I was a stereotypical computer nerd from puberty till my mid 20s (lost my virginity by fluke at age 24), and reading The Game at age 24-25, was a fundamental change in my world view because I understood that “being good with women” was actually a skill that I could practice and improve at, not inherent.

    Then I improved my skills and had some great experiences for a few months before being sucked into my first serious relationship for (too many) years where I predictably was BP, failed shit tests, got betaized, the works. When I got out of it, soon after I found Rollo’s site (first I read Heartiste and Krauser but while I appreciated the insights, I didn’t like the underlying negativity and unpleasantness and extreme political views) and read Rollo’s book and it was like the shades falling from my eyes – the original Game stuff was the “how”, but the Red Pill was the “why” – the underlying framework that explained WHY Game work and generalized the principles, and calling it “Red Pill” was genius because it really was like seeing the Matrix – combining the Game stuff (esp with insights from – but not limited to – people like YaReally) with the principles of RP is like a superpower.

    I have a long way to go and I’m still learning – I’ve just posted about my current Game sticking points on the Field Reports thread (and not just about women and intersexual dynamics) but I’ve already done things that my 24 year old virgin self couldn’t imagine I’d seriously do when all I wanted was someone to have sex regularly with, cuddle, and spend romantic times together. And a huge part of it was because of this place, and all the men here (including the advice from YaReally and HABD which saved me from a very close shave with a nasty situation where a girl almost accused me of an FRA, but I managed to turn it around and stave off even an accusation).

    Thank you Rollo

  16. @ReaderX

    Glad you found TRM.

    Yeah, that soulmate thing….I used to believe that utter bullshit too.

    Hang in there, and don’t be a stranger.

  17. When I first encountered Rollo’s writing, I remember that I recoiled in disgust, despondent at the thought of someone seeing women as anything but delicate, sensitive, and in need of protection.

    I was unwilling to admit to myself that I was here, on Rollo’s blog, reading his posts because my idealization of women (something I had been taught was appropriate my whole life), was in fact a scam, a ruse. I was reading The Rational male because I had been burnt, and discarded, without understanding why, or what I could have done differently.

    Not anymore. Now I know.

    Several years later, and having taken TRP, and studied The Rationale Male I & II, I find myself lining up, like many other compardres, to get my hands on a copy of The Rational Male III. Thanks Rollo.

  18. Its been 3 weeks for me and all I can say is “what a ride”.
    Have made the typical mistake of trying to explain all this to the “delicate flower” I call wifey. She reckons I have always been alpha but little does she know she has been sub consciously shit testing me for 14 years and I have failed miserably 90% of the time and as a result have been betaised. I know realise that this has been the major source of ALL my frustrations to date.
    I remember the early days when she would have the highest respect and regard for me and would essentially do what ever I asked and didnt ask her to do. I was a bit amused by this and enjoyed the attention but didnt see it for what it was at the time and ended up reverting to her frame.
    Its been an eye opener but this I know – “whatever happens I will be a winner”.

  19. One of the biggest mind liberating experience after reading Rollo’s work is you can now put thoughts in your emotional experiences or as Rollo puts it, “You can see glitches in the matrix but never point out”. One of the aspects of safety net recently was my recent plate who ghosted on me recently. I was a bit sad but was fine and was able to pull myself with so much ease…why? Coz now ur emotions in a new set of circumstances with a new women can be explained by a set of theoretical words. Such is the magic of knowledge that it provides a man the potion of words that he himself utilizes to heal and grow emotionally and mentally strong. Sexual interactions after red pill exercises is analogus to working out. It stretches ur mental faculties and makes you stronger
    Thank you sir!

  20. Hey Rollo:

    Long time lurker.. first time commenter.
    I’ve read both your books and I’m very excited for the third. I think you have coined a great term with positive masculinity. It’s super important to keep a positive attitude and keep your head held high. Men have always known deep down what they’re capable of when they put in the effort. It’s hard to describe but it’s that gut feeling all men get. It’s something primal. Spurring you on. Telling you to take warning or telling you to take action. Listen to it. I think it takes young men some time for things to really click. Your writing is a great resource for men to comprehend things that are tough to grasp for those that don’t have the experience quite yet. Experience teaches harsh but experience teaches best. It’s cool to think that you can take the collective red pill experience of men from all across the planet and share what you’ve found with people who really need it. I’m sure you have inspired many other men out there to connect their own dots and begin writing things down. The more red pill aware men we have out there, the better off society is as a whole. We are all going through life on our own journey but at the end of the day, no matter your cirucmstances, it’s pretty damn great to be a man. What a time to be alive. We have more info and red pill wisdom at our fingertips then anyone has ever had before us. I’m sure it’s been stated before and I’ll repeat it now, your books should be COMPULSORY reading for every young man. I picked up your books in my mid-twenties and I am still learning more everyday about game, life and women. Now at 29 it truly does feel like I have a safety net under me at all times. I feel like I’m really starting to hit my stride and just beginning to reap the benefits of my own SMV and it’s a great feeling to know the best years are yet to come. 🙂

    Positive masculinity instills confidence.

    You have provided every man who reads your work a safety net, it’s up to men not to cut holes in theirs. Thanks Rollo and keep up the great work!

  21. Good comment….I think too often The Res Pill is seen as a transition art state before getting into a “better” reltionship. The idea of a “safety net” is an insurance policy against the kind of set backs that often come with getting involved with women.

    I adopted this safety net concept during my last involvement with a girl who was banging me regularly and Pushing for some sort of exclusivity all the while running around with dudes including two of my “friends”. There was the malingering…I recognised all the red flags and after a while was there for the ride and nothing more…plating at ita best.

    I got burned but was proud of how I handled it by simply ghosting her. I’m sure somewhere in hér own fucked up psyche she respected that I cut her off and disappeared. Not many guys do.

    I keep a regular rotation and my personal dealings discrete. No one really knows what I’m up to beyond what I let them know.

    For the newbies who discover the Red Pill after a bad break up the idea of “two in the kitty” is so far away from where they are now it’s a distant dream. It took me a few years before I could spin plates and then another few years where I felt I could credibly offer advice based on a wider variety of experiences with a wide variety of women.

    Knowing what works and calibrating …takes guts and perseverance.

    Having something to fall back on to take that sting out of whatever you’ve lost is critical to moving forward.

  22. The rational male was my first step into a whole new life, being so desperate after i got cheated on and dumped after i was 9y with a flake, pitty social programming. It as now been 5 years i am still single, i started living when i stop thinking about THE ONE, stop giving a fuck, at 45 i train everyday, i dress super, i groom and take care of myself, and i get hit on by 25y old women go figure, i guess that being older turns some of them on. When you realize all of this, its priceless, when you stop searching for something that does not exist, when you realize that no women is going to make you happy and they all try to manipulate you, mold you into what they want, living a single life is wonderful, I have been introduce to a few women, i am not irresistible i am very honest and yes i got turn down too, this is life, but after thinking about it, would i have been happy with a single mom with 2-3 kids…….. HELL NO, life is too short for this dumb social programming, and pity. I am not sure that one day i will even get hook with another women, if it does happen, there is no way we live together, i lost 2 houses due to separation i ain’t losing my condo. HA

  23. I grew to 6’3 by the age of 15 weiging 115kg. My dad had another family we didn’t know about so I never had the chance to learn about girls or guns, mechanics or fixing shit. I was picked on in High School by smaller kids because I didn’t know how to fight. (still don’t, after my surgery recovery i’m signing up for Krav Maga). I got married, she got fat, treated me like shit, and then we divorced. No kids.

    Finding TRP couple years ago, and then Rollo’s blog, change my life. 4yrs later I broke off my LTR with a good woman but she didn’t adhere to my one standard of not getting fat. I was able to put my emotions aside and enforce my standards. I’m dating a younger, hotter and fit girl who adores the hell out of me. I still keep two in the kitty (at the moment just one), because I know better. I adopted a Stoic approach and enjoy the emotions when they happen, but I always do a debrief after the night of emotions or whatever to remind myself objectively that it’s just my turn. My debrief sessions with myself help ground me in the principles, reminds me of AWALT, reminds me that she could be fucking some other dude too. When I feel the emotions of love, or whatever you call it, I relish in it, but I make sure to tell myself you’re enjoying this NOW. That’s all it is.

    My life has taken a complete 180. I’m successful in my career, nice car, motorcycle, it’s 100% what I’ve been working for. I continue to work on every aspect of my life and the important thing is, I”m having a fucking ball of a time.

    I practiced social skills over 3yrs to the point where people think I’m an extrovert. You can’t change your personality but you can improve on it and adapt. From hating social events and people, I can now muster up the courage to get over the first hurdle of “just fucking go” and then I end up having a great time. I have to cut it short since I still have a limit on the amount of time I can spend among a big group of people, but it’s fucking amazing. It’s shocking what you can do if you put your mind to it.

    TRP and the authors like Rollo changed my whole life. People always say thank you, but if I could meet you, you would see the gratefulness. The product of the last 4yrs of improvement is astonishing even to me.

    Thanks for all you do.

    [Thanks, maybe someday, I’m planning on doing some more talks in 2018]

  24. As a 24-year-old, it’s a strange realization that I’ve had some, albeit surface level, exposure to red pill ideology for almost a third of my life. At 16 and despondent over a breakup, I googled “how to get girls” or something equally inane and fell upon the PUA community, which ignited the spark. However, it wasn’t until November of 2015 that I discovered TRM (after many more years of running around like a chicken with its head cut off) and the fire was truly ignited.

    My utmost thanks to you, Rollo, and the other regulars on the site for the shared wisdom and insights. TRM has saved me and countless others a great deal of the most valuable resource of all, time, by providing this material and the vast collection of experiences to validate it. Instead of adopting a nihilistic philosophy and being hopelessly cynical about the future, it’s exciting to tackle the worldwide shit test as presented by the FI/feminism/modern society. Concepts like mental point of origin, amused mastery, and embracing the burden of performance are proven winners.

    Looking forward to the third book.

  25. Have read and absorbed Rollo for years now, I’m an older dude (56) and the best summary I can make of how this has helped me is:

    I now understand what is happening and why it is happening in my relations with women.. just like most things when you know the cause you can come up with solutions. Not being bewildered anymore is the greatest gift. Thanks Rollo!

  26. @ReaderX – wow, this one punched me so hard I teared-up each time I read it:

    “The biggest price to pay in the divorce wasn’t money or stress or love. It was the loss of all the people. People who were important to me even if I wasn’t as important to them.”

    Overnight, good people I considered family now weren’t. I’d known these people a third of my life (a long time). To make it worse, I know that I was vilified by the ex. I haven’t been able to get over this part yet.

    As brutal as it is seeing your immediate family fall apart, the collateral damage can easily push a man to suicidal despondency. I see no safety net for this part of intertwining your life with a woman. Just part of the risk. Glad you made it through.

  27. Rollo
    I lost 6 people to suicide last year 5 of them where male, your work pulled me back from me that and got me into serving myself while gaining self confidence and taking my childhood trauma and transforming it into creative aggression. After losing Patrick last than Blake than Nathan and Thomas I felt Sad and not as lonely. I found that i have a savior complex. A Moral ground of how things “Should be” but never how they are. I can’t change anything other myself. Your work is the filling’s of not having a farther or any male with the willingness to take a child into adulthood without the abundance of guilt shame and anxiety. I grew and failed and got rejected but i wasn’t complaining anymore. I was getting back up and saying to myself “Bring it”
    Everything about the way life is is more beautiful because of its brutal truth and that is something religion is always teaching us to change. Your work got me into building a business which i am doing now. As well as learning how to man a family and love women for who they are not for who i want them to be. You got me to focus on a mirror without needing any outside
    validation. you got me fundamentally thinking as a man. I started writing song’s to sooth the history of violence in my body. Ever time i read comment’s such as Blaximus or KFG i find myself connecting to how ignorant i am with thing’s i haven’t tried out in the world. I am reminded to take a seat and maybe learn that my pain and experience is meaningless unless i can use it to help other people above and below this post with what they are going through.
    Creative aggression

  28. I meant to also write that on the family on my ex’s side, at most they lost a single relative-by-marriage, not blood. From my end, I lost dozens of family members in a single swoop…. by going all-in on on the BP dream. Dumbfuck move. But now I’ll know better for the next go-round.

    Thanks Rollo for all you’ve done and will do. Seriously, you’ve done more to better mankind than 99.9% of any humblebragging politician or religious spokesman.

  29. Reader X’s comment should be engraved on steel framed on titanium and nailed forever onto the first page of the manosphere.

  30. TRM has enhanced my life and options tremendously. I was always naturally RP, but now get it internally and philosophically. Never married but sired 3 by 2 moms. Now have grands. At 62, pulling in ladies half that age means I get to skip the early 20 year olds. Guys fishing in those waters place too much emphasis on the youth of these sluts. It’s far better they settle down a bit. Believe it or not, many post-carousel chicks are just growing up. I could care less about their history. Some of these early 30 chicks experience a renaissance as they hit the wall. They get a bit more productive and are more easily influenced by a mature man. They know the difference now. Im not just older, I’m fit, experienced, relaxed, and quiet. Chicks fall over themselves to qualify to a man of obvious maturity. I never wish I’d known this earlier in life. I was a solid stay-at-home father. Raised kids cause the moms were poor role models. SMP peaking at 38??? LMFAO. Gimme a break. Try 68. I’ll report back then. Stay for gentlemen, avoid corporate food, Learn to cook and what to eat. Buy a place in the country. Grow food and weed. Read Mother Earth News from the 70s. Practice self sufficiency. Know from where your sustenance comes. Peace.

  31. Long time reader, first comment on the site.
    Your writing helped me understand women for the first time in my life many years ago. I’m a naturally analytical guy, but I was also straitforeward with my thinking and very blue pill in highschool and college.

    Once I stayed up a couple of nights strait, reading all of the “Best of Year One.” I knew what I had to do.

    I broke up with my gf of 3 years, who as wonderful as she was as a friend took up far too much of my time and emotional energy. Freeing myself of this has allowed me to focus on building the life that I *truly* want, not what others tell me I should want, because I know that the ultimate prize is no longer at risk if I do so.

    In fact, it’s the only way to obtain it. That is: long-term, consistent Happiness.

    I would never have been able to obtain it effectively without the information that you have provided. I’m a young man and know all the most lethal bullets to dodge when it comes to achieving my goals.

    I’m no longer confused, despondent, and lost in a sea of loathing.

    I see the shore. I have built my liferaft by hand and sail by the map you provide.

    I am free.

    Thank you, Rollo.

  32. In my opinion, the Red Pill is the only emotionally sustainable way for men to interact with women. I just yesterday ended a 1 year LTR, a few days after the anniversary, and without Rollo’s work I would not have had the resolve to navigate the break up and stand my ground on standards that had been infringed.

    I had discovered Red Pill before the relationship, and was consistently surprised at the accuracy with which Rollo’s observations matched my previous failings and new interactions with women. True to form, everything has held up through the break up process.

    Add this one experience to the list, because at this point I am completely sold that having and applying Red Pill awareness without a doubt allows for truly positive relationships with women, and a healthy level of emotional resilience in men.

  33. I must admit that my life has not changed much outwardly but my view of the world has. I have become more conscious of things like male-female smv chart, the wall, the epiphany, the Myth of The One, abundance metality, dread and a lot of other deep stuff. I think this has changed my inner self significantly.

    The other day I caught myself laughing like a damn fool when a girl who had travelled almost 300 clicks to “see” me said that “I was not having sex today.” Genuine, unrestrained, healthy bawl of mirth. I said, “Sure, none today. What about tomorrow and the day after?” I knew she knew I was not going to be with her the following day or the next so I knew the hamster would quickly be putting one and two together. Then we continued drinking, chatting and dancing.

    One hour later (and still very early in the evening), she was working double time to get me from the club into the hotel room. Heheheee. I had to get her off first then we went back out clubbing since it was still too early to sleep.

    I think what Rollo writes, though amoral, can be put into very immoral use. Very immoral use.

  34. I was Red Pill aware… then my marriage fell apart and I am now divorced. While I am still rebuilding The Red Pill has served as both a framework and foundation for how I live my life going forward.

    Very much looking forward to your new book. I have three daughters and a son, all under the age of 8.

  35. This is my first post on this blog, but I have been reading it for at least two years. I actually bought the book before I ever read the blog. It sat on my bookshelf for at least a year after I had bought it on amazon, and I remember always tossing up whether to read it before another title. In hindsight, I wish I had read it immediately, because my eyes were opened as a result of its contents. I read it in two days – on the bus, in bed, on the toilet. I couldn’t put it down. Something in my mind was shifted.

    Although my first reading of The Rational Male was a profound experience for me, the ‘dots’ didn’t connect right away. It was only after some experiences I went through, or some situations in which I witnessed in my male friends go through, that I started to experience the awakening of the Red Pill. I started to see things differently. Although it was painful to come to terms with, I started seeing hypergamy in my day to day life. Perhaps the most interesting moment for me to experience was being on the phone to my ex-girlfriend one night, post break-up. I remember her sobbing on the phone to me: “My biggest fear is that I’ll never be able to find a man who will care for me as much as you did.” Once upon a time such a statement would have been perplexing. But with the Red Pill lens, I understood it differently: my unconditional love and care for her simply wasn’t enough. Although she was petrified of the possibility of not being able to find a man who ‘cared’ for her like I did, this level of ‘care’ that I gave her wasn’t enough to stop her from leaving me – she still wanted a better man. Instead of being confused as to why she left me, I was able to look at it through a Red Pill philosophy.

    I’m in my late twenties now, and I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I found the book (and blog) in my mid twenties, because I shudder to think of the outcome of my life if I had not. My idealism, although somewhat already shaken without The Rational Male, would have sent me down a different path. This path seems to be the path that all my male friends are heading down. None of them are single, and almost all of them are engaged or married. One of my friends who is engaged gets sex once a month – if he’s lucky. Recently, another friend was allowed a blowjob, but only under the condition that he could complete two pieces of IKEA furniture by the end of the night. He’s been married to his wife for six weeks! Another friend moved overseas to marry his wife (his reason being that he had “nothing else going on in his life”). He returned for a two-week holiday recently, and he told me that the thing he misses most is the company of his male friends. The point of these examples is that my friends seem to think that these situations are okay, that this is how things are meant to be. They think that these sexless, passionless relationships are the status quo. Yet I can’t help but be stunned as I hear – and see – these situations around me. I feel like a conspirator around my friends, like I’m the only one who sees that there is another way. I was best man at my friend’s wedding, and I went home exhausted because of all the acting I had to do that day – I was trying to hide my concerns for the life decision that he was following through with. In general, I honestly worry about the outcomes of these marriages…what’s going to happen to my friends?

    I remain single, and I intend to improve myself and my position in life. I’m learning to focus on me and my life purpose, which, thanks to Rollo and other writers, may have been severely hindered by falling in love with a woman in a Blue Pill mindset. Unlike my friends, I intend to wait for monogamy and children, assuming that’s a path I will take. In short, The Rational Male has opened my eyes to the pitfalls that exist in the realm of modern-day marriage and dating. It has made me see that having (passionless) sex once a month, especially at my age, is not something I have to accept. It has made me see that if a woman turned around and told me that I can get a blowjob if I finish IKEA furniture, I can turn around and decide that my life might be better lived alone – I’d rather live alone and on my feet than with a partner and on my knees.

    One more thing.

    The medium is the message = pure gold. That idea has helped me NEXT a handful of girls recently, whereas my younger Blue Pill self would have hung around like a puppy dog just hoping that the girl might miraculously change her mind and love me. So, although my hit rate of getting girls remains average, my ability to perceive their level of interest has increased exponentially. As a result, I have been able to walk away from these nonexistent, one-sided ‘relationships’ and reinvest the energy into either (a) myself, or (b) meeting new people.

  36. Each time I fall, I pick up Rollo’s two books to read a chapter or two. For guidance, reassurance and insights. I always get frustrated, angry and sad when I can actually see why I fell: 90% of the time it’s because of being beta. But the most painful thing of all is I have to accept I will lose a girl, and I can’t use the knowledge to ‘fix’ the situation. I can only be used for a similar situation in the future. Knowing is half the battle, but a next battle that is. Without your teachings Rollo i would still be lost in the Matrix, without me even realizing it. So thank you for giving me / us a safety net.

  37. Hello Rollo and fellow men.
    I discovered the Red Pill after my now ex-wife left me for an older bad boy from her slutty past. I was in shambles and TRM helped me piece myself back together.

    As I look back I barely recognize (with disgust) the blue-pill schlob I used to be. I am carved in stone now. My life is better than I could have ever hoped for, and this is in no small part thanks to you Rollo.

    Keep saving lives, we will keep spreading the word. I have red-pilled at least five close friends that have gone through similar traumatic experiences and I know for a fact that they are also doing their part. Let’s keep paying it forward gentlemen. In my mind that’s the best way to repay all the good that has been given to us. Help take off the blindfold. Our women, our children, our families and our society deserve better than what has been given to them. Most importantly, we Men do too.

    Keep up the good work, and my sincerest thank you to Rollo and all the other writers and fellow red pill men that have inspired me to be the best man I can be.

  38. Here’s what distinguishes Rollo from his peers in The Red Pill community. Rollo defines each gender’s sexual strategy (AF/BF for women, sprinkler for men). Phenomena are properly identified in the contexts of these sexual strategies. For example, an intuitive aversion to prostitution as unethical is recognized within the context of how prostitution would affect supply/demand of sex. Another example, success of one gender’s sexual strategy requires compromise of the other’s (for a man to “get the girl”, the girl must not get a better man). A Blue Pill beta who is unwilling to force others to compromise their best interest will be shown by Rollo’s writing how deleterious such a mentality is to his success.

  39. I’m following the red pill universal principles and internalised many of them to my bones. I’m basically Living my life and spinning my plates. I have almost develop Oneitis for one girl, but she merely a special plate for me now. Knowing her is an Alfa Widow keeps me away fm letting my self fall in trap. I have developed my Game significantly started to getting laid every singly day by another woman. That alone boosts my confidence sky-high. I still feel weak fm time to time against women, but now I just come back to the Blog to resharpen my focus and not fall into the One paradigm.
    Thanks Rollo, You have had an amazing impact in my life, now I can see what women really are and why they are there.


  40. I stumbled across Rollo’s work. Don’t quite remember how I found it. The Rational Male book has been with me ever since on my post-marriage journey.

    I was watching my long marriage implode. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. I started looking for answers. What could I do to prevent the ending? I tried all the tricks in the beta game to no avail. I thought these things worked. Paying more attention to her, buying her tokens of appreciation, romantic guestures, fixing her shit. Flowers, jewelry. If I do all these things and more, then won’t she stay with me? Won’t she work with me on our marriage?

    But once a woman has decided to leave you, it’s over. Even if you can delay the ending, you won’t ever stop it. But I was conditioned to believe that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Isn’t she meant to be my true love, and we stay together until death due us part. Something like that.

    So I re-entered the dating market after it all blew up, and was I ever naïve. But I had Rollo, Pook and others to guide me. First girl that I was serious about tried to move in with me 2 months after my marriage ended. Iron rule #4 guided me. I dated a girl at least six times, and she was still not interested in sex. Iron rule #3. Another wanted exclusivity. Spin plates? Wasn’t I supposed to be true to that one special girl. And when I find her, won’t we both look into each other’s eyes and know we were meant for us and no one else. Oneitis. With the Disney myth thrown in for good measure.

    I read Rollo’s work and put into practise what worked for me. I met a woman during my re-education and were getting pretty tight. But still, some things I’m hesitating over. I stay with her lots, but I’m not moving in with her and she’s not moving in with me. Every so often, I sense being taken for granted. So I borrow from Rollo the practise of stirring up competition anxiety in her.

    I put Rollo aside for a while, and got into reading Red Pill, all of the sidebar material and other advice. Pook helped immensely. I stumble around for a while, and pull up,Rollo read his work again. I am repeatedly struck by how immediately relevant and practical is Rollo’s work. I’m struck by finding new nuggets of wisdom that I’d missed in an earlier ending.

    Quite frankly without Rollo and others, I don’t know where I’d be in my life. Most likely have some woman living with me, eternally grateful for her presence, worshiping the ground she walked on, telling my friends what a lucky man I am to have such a great girl, and watching the sex dry up and be a distant memory.

    I really like my current girlfriend, but if it all,ended tomorrow, I know that I’d be ok. Shaken up. Sad. But I would pick myself up, smile at the next pretty girl, and see if she smiles back. Ask her name, and listen to her story.

    Safety net is a good anaology. After each short term relationship ended, I’ve looked at Rollo and others to see how I can recover. And inventively, I bounce back up.

  41. For me TRM/ the red pill has given me the following.

    1. An understanding that your success with women is largely a consequence of your lifestyle ( it’s not who you are it’s what you are that attracts her).

    2. An understanding of the true nature of women, I now no longer idealise them I just enjoy them for what they are.
    I like the way that women measure me as a man they provide constant feedback as to where you are on your red pill journey.

    3. FREEDOM Being your own mental point of origin is very liberating.

    4. Enjoyment of women without expectations. At 49 and no wish for more kids I see women as for entertainment purposes only.

    They entertain me with their bodies and feminine energy or they GTFO no ifs no buts.

    Thanks Rollo

  42. Hello Guys,
    First time commenter here. I’m a 26 year old guy writing from you from Hungary. Rollo is one of those figures who changed my way of looking at women, next to David Deida (Way of The Superior Man), combining these two books I can see what is going on in this world. My story is that I have a beta father who is a typical nice guy, he is very sweet and caring, but my mother is a manipulative princess. She didn’t work a lot in her life, mostly my father took care of us. I have an older brother 12 years older than me and he is a passive agressive beta asshole , who beat me when I was younger and my parents didnt do nothing about it, yep bad parenting. I never had confidence, I was overweight , I didnt do nothing with my life all the time in high school just play videogames basically, boy I missed out a lot.
    So basically I didnt have a role model, but my gut feeling said something is not right. So I started reading pickup at the age of 21, but wasnt very good, I was lucky kissing some girls at the age of 17-18, but nothing more.
    Afterwards I was looking online then I found MGTOW and I participated and followed Sandman on youtube, but still I was depressed. I started hitting the gym and read some PUA sites, but still something was missing. I’ve stumbled upon Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of power, mastery and the art of seduction where I realised what is going on. I found your book and site on the recommended blogs on illimitable men and I started reading your blog. At first I didnt understood a lot about it, but after reading Deida’s book I returned here and started to realise things. So after 3-4 years of experience I’m giving now advices to people.
    This information is really valuable and I thank you very much for it. I call out girls on their shit tests and I now how to elevate sexual tension so I’m quite good now. I still have approach anxiety, but really it is getting less and less day by day.
    My favourite article was: “War Brides”, that was the REAL eye opener for me and I cannot look at women at the same way, anymore. I thank you again for helping me open my eyes at such a relatively young age . Keep up the good work and I’m sure to buy your new book.

  43. I discovered this blog, as well as the other R’s, after leaving a 12-year relationship because of a dead bedroom. A shame, because with this knowledge I could have either saved the relationship or abandoned ship some years earlier and save myself a lot of time and grief.

    It didn’t “save me” as such because I was so hungry I launched headfirst into Tinder even before I discovered the manosphere and was spinning plates before I knew exactly what was going on.

    What you did for me was set me up to never go down that path again. I might fail again, but I’ll never be a chump about it. I’m actually thinking of marrying soon, but it’s because of wanting to have kids and not some blue pill fantasy. Oh and prenup or the highway for sure.

    The bump up in your game that your subliminal communication to women that you JUST GET their fiendish tendencies provides should also not be underestimated.

  44. First of all, I owe Rollo and enormous debt of gratitude. I don’t think a cliché like ‘life-changing’ really does justice to the change in mindset that I experienced after reading the ‘Rational Male’ book. Looking back, I curse myself that I couldn’t figure it out on my own; I was painfully aware that something wasn’t quite right, but just couldn’t connect the dots.

    I discovered TRP and the Rational Male in my early 30s. I wasn’t a virgin but I’d gone through my teens and 20s almost dateless. As someone who’s generally regarded as decent looking, and had a degree of professional success, I couldn’t understand my lack of success. I would occasionally come across unusually clingy 5s and 6s, yet seemed to be utterly incapable of generating any sexual interest in more attractive girls. I wasn’t a classical nice guy, but was definitely a (higher) beta.

    I tended to lash out in frustration against friends and family a lot during this time, something I’m not proud of.

    After a disastrous episode of oneitis with a work colleague, I sought out the help of dating coaches. I had the great misfortune of spending thousands of dollars on what was essentially an overpriced meditation course conducted by a prominent Australian purple pill ‘natural’. When this didn’t ‘fix’ me, I crashed into a massive depression. I was convinced that there was just something ‘rotten’ about me that I could never fix. I sought further inner game coaching, which was also pretty useless, although at one point the coach made an offhand comment that intrigued me, after which I found the Rational Male blog.

    Rollo’s articles on frame control and compatibility were massively helpful. Prior to reading them, I would pursue activities that I believed would make me popular with women, rather than things I actually found enjoyable per se. I also used to routinely fail shit tests simply because it didn’t even occur to me that I was being tested, or why women would even do this.

    Even just realising that the game is not easy is a big thing. If, as feminists say, women have a sex drive equivalent to men but are ‘oppressed by the patriarchy’, a man who can’t get laid becomes truly pathetic. He keeps losing a game he’s been told is easy, and he hasn’t even been given the correct set of rules. This is incredibly dispiriting. Simply realising the game is actually hard, and you’re failing because you’ve been given the wrong rules, is something of a relief.

    I also recognise now that I dodged a bullet. I was getting to the stage where I was going to speed dating events and meeting a number of saccharinely sweet girls in their late 20s and early 30s who’d ‘been burnt’ or were ‘tired of players’, and were looking for a ‘good man’ to settle down with. These girls were basically predators, and I was easy meat.

    Unlike some of you guys, I still haven’t experienced much success with women. I wish I could say that I was spinning plates, but I’m not. Part of the problem is that I’ve recognised a woman won’t give me the fulfilment I was originally seeking (and which I’m now gaining from other aspects of my life).

    I’m probably still in the nihilism phase, but I realise now that if I hold a woman to the same standard to which I hold other men, almost all of them fail. I wish that I could simply enjoy them for what they are, but admittedly have fairly poor reference experiences.

    I’ll be looking forward to the third book! Thanks again Rollo!

  45. How has TRP changed my life?

    It finally makes things make sense.

    When I was….oh, 23? 24? I had a bad breakup. I was *the* nice guy. I was taken for granted, so I moved out. She….did things….that basically amounted to emotional rape (no details, I value my anonymity). I cried, naked, drunk, and alone, in the dark, for a few months. Then I got angry. I said and did whatever the fuck I wanted, wherever I wanted, no regrets or apologies (which, looking back, was a crude form of frame control). I got more ass than a toilet seat. I had begun to understand.

    But back then, this was only my experience. There was no forum to compare my story to other men’s. Now there is, and all these guys are telling the same stories. The truth has come to light. We can finally agree that we’ve found the real rulebook, not the crap that the women have been telling us since we were boys.

    These days, I find the TRP reddit to be heading more PUA than RP, which saddens me, but The Rational Male isn’t going PUA. It never has been strictly about pussy, it’s been what you’ve aimed for: contemplation of intersexual dynamics. It does a fantastic job of not being angry. It just announces, ‘this is what women are like’. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it. It is what it is. And the more I read, the more things click into place.

    Thanks for what you do, Rollo.

  46. The “Red Pill” awareness and knowledge has allowed me to greatly improve my life.
    This solid base also equips me to learn even more from future experiences and observations.

    The main source for me was without a doubt the Rational Male, particularly the “Best of” compilations. The information is presented in a very rational manner which helps seeing how it matches reality. I think it is also important that topics such as politics and religion are mostly avoided.

    I want to mention also the community, in the comments sections. The community is a great assistance in my continued learning, which enables me to further improve my quality of life.

  47. “f I may elaborate briefly, by safety net I mean LITERALLY safety net. The safety net’s purpose is not for you not to fall. It is for you not to DIE after you have fallen. I believe this is an important distinction (and forgive me Rollo if you have touched on this in one of your articles already). At least for me this is HUGE.

    There is a nontrivial probability that you ARE going to fall. Unless you really swear to not EVER feel ANY emotional connection with a woman, then it is highly likely that at some point you WILL fall in love with a girl. Sure, I am positive that many guys will consider that this is something that they can control now that they are Red Pill aware, but you MAY at some point fall in love and you WILL lose your “cool” (btw if you don’t want to call it love call it infatuation; there will be a girl whose combination of laughter, looks, mannerisms and personality will produce this to you; if you want to deny it go ahead and you may be right. But as I said this is just MY humble opinion).

    So where does the whole “safety net” come into play? Well, it comes into play when things go south. You WILL loose your cool and she might not notice but then again she also may notice. You will think that this girl is different. Again, it is easy to say that AWALT, but you are not dealing with a bunch of 1s and 0s. It is a human being, standing in front of you, with a personality, with a voice, with interests, opinions and the like. So your brain will tell you that THIS one is different.

    And when it turns out that she is not, and she goes cold or dumps you, or cheats on you, then my friend you are going to be JUST FINE. Because you have a safety net. I am not saying that you won’t be sad (you will) but you won’t try to throw yourself under a bridge. The safety net is placed there for a simple reason. The reason is that, in the beginning stages of your infatuation, before you started thinking that she is “not like that”, a little voice inside of you said “You have read about this situation in the Rational Male brother. This may be an illusion. Be careful”.”

  48. I discovered this blog at a time when I committed myself to the Blue Pill idealism of identifying with women, being a provisional Beta trying to woo a woman 5 years older than me (I was 27 at the time). Needless to say I failed and this woman subsequently married an older and in context more established male and I felt like my world crashed down.

    Having being awakened to the Red Pill after searching for answers to my failures and finding it in Rollo’s writing, I am just happy for the fact that there is a community out there that seen fit to help other men, awaken them out of the stupor and empower them with the tools, knowledge, confidence and Game and fulfill each and every man’s potential.

    I reflect on my actions every so often, and frequently come back to classic articles like “Friends Like This”, “The Medium IS the Message”, “Just Get It”, “Amused Mastery” and so on. I constantly revisit them to reinforce the principles therein and compare against how I’m doing, in addition to keeping up with all the latest articles. Thus far, I find myself having improved in my communication methods with the opposite sex, and I am enjoying more of their attention. I’m no apex predator, super jerk boy who gets laid every night, but i daresay i’ve at least managed to overcome my years long dry spells and it has been a boost in every aspect of my life, including my career.

    I’ve never been one to withdraw from challenges in the workplace and naively I thought that was all I needed – to be successful at work and the women would come, but now after reading “The Burden of Performance”, I’ve realized I needed to improved EVERY aspect of my life. So I started working out, attending more classes and seminars to broaden my knowledge and income, travelling more often and just doing what interests me without caring what others think, all that thanks to the Red Pill.

  49. Frame, killing the beta, oneitis, pedestal and mental point of origin are still hurdles for me but knowing what the hurdles are is half the battle.

    Alpha fucks, beta bucks and epiphany stage were the real eye openers, Rollo saved me from the post wall vultures circling for a soft landing for Mr He’ll Do For Now.

    Being on the spectrum and severely lacking social intelligence I was ripe pickings for the more astute post wallers, they’re like sharks they can smell the suckers in the waters. Women who wouldn’t have a bar of me for 20 years are now lining up to ‘settle’, I have literally over a dozen women ready to go.

    They run the whole gamut, from single moms to branch swingers, ex carousel good girls, born again virgins, Tinderellas, professionals who waited too long for Mr Big, women tired of paying rent, ex junkies and even an ex prostitute. If it wasn’t for Rollo I would have considered it a compliment, now I know it’s an insult, I could have been old Wile Coyote over a cliff holding the Yikes sign.

    I don’t have the heart to string along women on the fertility precipice so I stick to the older birds past the cliff.

    The commenters here are great as well, it’s easy to fall off the wagon and go full nihilistic but the positive guys like Blax and sundry are doing God’s work.

  50. At age 56 I could have stayed in my dead-bedroom relationship until the end, but I got pissed one day after my stepfather was diagnosed with concurrent lung cancer and a massive stroke. I just uped and left. Dating after that was ok but after growing up as a Nice Guy I was on a quest to discover the language of humans at the sexual level – how do I communicate effectively to a woman I want to fuck her.

    A mention of TRM on an okcupid forum post brought me here and the Revelation started. I devoured the archives. I was also consuming other sources of RP knowledge so superficially my life got better because I went back to lifting, ate better, managed my T levels, and dumped my dad clothes for something better fitting. But the core development of my attitude and my mind was all TRM. Oh, and Sex God Method – can’t forget that!

    I’ll never be a PUA player but I now have the proper tools to potentially be one. But more importantly I now have the tools to be self-confident in my dealings with others and to size up the woman in front of me and be bold and game her.

    The safety net is real and I use it all the time. We are human after all and love or at least the potential for love still is a strong force. Only this time it doesn’t squash me like a bug.

  51. Much gratitude to your dedication, intelligence & consistency over many years, Rollo. I’ve always been good with women, lots of much younger lovers and having never married or bred, have always led a free-wheeling bachelor’s life. What the manosphere and your writings in particular have given me is greater understanding & clarity in my own journey as an independent man in this feminine-centric society we live in. Exposing this feminine-centric society especially has been vital and totally turned my perspective around. I may have pedestalized women at times in the past, but not now. I tested all the RP teachings on my last lover, and she played out the script perfectly! I always kept frame, and the more alpha i was the more submissive she was. As good as she was in bed, i need a more attractive woman, so now i have another (who pursued me) on the go whilst always keeping my options open. But the best thing is, i know i don’t ever need a woman to make me happy. Not in the least.
    I have also been introducing other men to TRM and recently have had 2 very enthusiastic new recruits, with many more to come no doubt. I pick my marks wisely, and see beta behaviour everywhere. It’s quite sad, but i’m glad it’s not me or my crew.
    I am now inspired to get my own blog together for “middle-aged” men that will be called ‘The Solitary Silver FoX’. I’m currently writing ideas out and formulating the concept in between composing electronic music, gardening and riding my dirt bike whilst living the good life mostly in solitude on my remote country property in south-eastern Australia.
    Always maintain frame brothers, and stay tuned…

  52. I think the best post you ever wrote is There Is No One. Once the soul mate myth is destroyed in a man’s life, he can move on to better things. Also, you wrote, “A man should never consider a LTR until he has experienced abundance.”
    I have never experienced abundance in my life and I’m 40 years old, so it’s safe to say I’ll never consider a LTR with any woman.
    The SMV chart was very helpful too. Thanks, Rollo.

  53. Your blog has helped me finally to make sense of the differences between men and women that we see all around us every day, but which few voices in the mainstream media or academia have been able or willing to describe accurately. I appreciate how you present the Red Pill as not cynical or immoral, but as an objective description of what motivates men and women on a deep-rooted biological level. That knowledge can be used for good or for evil. Your blog has made me a realist about what to expect from my relationships with women in my life, and it has given me a blueprint for how to maximize those relationships.

    In my personal relationships with women, it has helped me contextualize my disappointments, and given me practical advice on how to be a more attractive man. I now see that women don’t need to “perform” the way men do in order to attract the opposite sex, that they are biologically hardwired to compete among themselves for who they perceive to be in the top 10-20%, and that in our prosperous and relatively peaceful times in twenty-first century America, being a stable provider is not enough.

    After fully internalizing the information in this blog, the romantic world now seems like a less scary place. I know that every new experience–success or failure–adds to my wisdom and maturity, and to my overall value. As an unmarried man just beginning to hit his stride professionally, I now see that the tables are turning in my favor in terms of commanding attention from the opposite sex, and I am equipped to make well-informed decisions about who I spend my time with and how I spend it.

    In the professional world, I now understand why there will always be disparities between men and women. In terms of sheer IQ, I believe that women are absolutely capable of being equal to or smarter than men; hence, the success of women in gaining admission to college and actually outperforming men. But I also see that what they choose to do with that IQ is guided by Red Pill truths, and is very much the explanation for why there are very few women in “alpha” positions of power. Female hypergamy rewards men for pursuing high-risk, high-reward endeavors, and for developing the insane work ethic and making the painful sacrifices needed to achieve and perform successfully in those “alpha” positions. By contrast, a woman stands to gain little in terms of attention from the opposite sex by achieving those positions, and if she is successful in hypergamy, she will have married a man of “equal or higher” income. As Oscar Wilde once said, “everything in the world is about sex.”

    Thank you for what you’ve done Rollo. Your blog has forever changed my life, and it should be required reading for every man in this world.

  54. How has TRP changed my life?

    First it saved my life and now I am able to see the Matrix …not pretty but essential for a better life.

    Rollo, my deep gratitude for your work and commitment. Words can hardly describe what you and the comments of many followers have done for me.

    I am 43 years old and from Germany and hit the ground last year after a 14 Year LTR with house and two kids. I lost my “mate and lover”, everyday life with my kids and the house.

    After a hint from my brother I was reading your essays and a transformation began.
    Now I was able to spot the signs and was amazed, fascinated and appalled of female behavior.

    I began to change my behavior und started spinning plates. So far it gave me great sex and more liaison I had before my LTR. I teach social sciences in further education and integrated some stuff in my class.

    Months ago I met really hot alpha women with PhD. and a Job with multiple income of my own. I am still broke, I am living in temporary shithole, have an old car … and there was this beautiful women with all prospects and she was attracted to me. It was like a dream. We had Tension, Sex, deep talks and heartrending moments. But all the time there was a little voice that warned … take it slow, keep cool …it is all part of the game, hold your alpha status.” Short story … I fucked up and fall in love in no time. I saw the shit tests und thought, no its love show it to her. Yeah I know, it was foolish and against all redpill wisdom …but this infatuation was stronger than every feeling I had bevor for a women. She flaked and for tow day now in am the darkest hell of heartsickness. It really produces these thoughts of suicide, because this was the one of a kind experience. It was my stupid mistake despite all redpill understanding. Why should I endure any more of trivial sex with other women, pain and shit? When there is now hope that I will ever find this lasting moment of happiness with a female existence.

    After a sleepless night It got me to Rollos TRM again and I read this article about the safety net and great words from Logic and the other guys.

    Hopefully I will get just little bit wiser.

    I think it will save my stupid ass today.

    Beware of infatuation … it burns und kills everything “was Dir lieb und teur ist” (almost like: what near and dear to you).

    Thanks for all

  55. Rollo: you were right to expand upon Logic‘s comment as it was and is a gem. And I just get the article picture this time around.

    To the frank and sincere testimonials here I can add nothing but: J. Peterson points out the majority of information we observe is discarded as irrelevant. In essence, TRM / RP gave me permission, as it were, to “see” the dots again. “Permission” is not the best word; “encourage” is far better given the word’s etymology.

    Thank you & Cheers!

  56. I’m 45 and so I learned about women before the internet was around. We did it by watching guys who were really great with women and trying to emulate their tactics, but often without really understanding the underlying motive behind the technique. I was lucky in that my job as a rafting guide afforded me access to lots of high SMV chicks, but I also observed how even in that environment some of the guides couldn’t get laid to save themselves.

    I discovered Rollo’s blog about 6 years ago now, and for me the experience was not so much of how to do stuff, or why stuff works, but more the explanations of the underlying reasoning and motives behind it all. It was a big series of ah-hah moments, if that makes sense. I didn’t learn anything new but at the same time I learned lots of new stuff that made sense.

    This clarification of the underlying knowledge behind all of this stuff has been a huge boon for helping other guys red pill and for being able to support my peers as they enter the years when many of their marriages are failing and they don’t know why. I can’t tell you how many copies of Rollo’s first book I have purchased but it has been a lot. But I only give the book as a gift when I think that the recipient is ready for it. It’s no use giving this knowledge to someone whose mind is still closed to completely new possibilities. Often you have to wait for them to hit rock bottom before you can act. This is very hard at times to watch.

    But I’ve also passed on Rollo’s knowledge to very young guys as well, in their teens and early twenties. This has been the most satisfying thing for me by far. To see a few weeks later the new-found awareness on their faces is the sweetest revenge for me on the feminine imperative. I can only imagine how I would have gone if someone had passed me Rollo’s books 25 years ago.

    Rollo’s work has also helped me with my own books. The awareness of the male-female dynamic and how it operates makes for more complete and believable characters as well as superior writing.

    Lastly, I have been married for 8 years to a woman almost 10 years younger than me. Rollo’s work has indeed helped me with a safety net, if that will ever be needed. And it has helped me to stay at the top of my game and not relax and take things for granted within my marriage. You’ve always got to be hustling, you can’t ever think that you’re on top of it. You either work at a marriage or it gets out of your hands, and after that you’re probably looking at a pounding.

    So, thanks, Rollo. You’re the man, and your humbleness and attitude that it is not you who is changing men’s lives but the men themselves once they are armed with the required knowledge is the most important and for me the biggest attraction to how you present your findings.

    We’re lucky to have you.


  57. @The Solitary Silver FoX
    Let us know when your blog gets off the ground.
    Might be an interesting read for us OSGs

  58. A year ago, my wife, while on an apprenticeship in Europe, announced to me that she had met another man and was leaving me for him. The announcement came the day before I was to fly there to meet her for a two week holiday. We had been together for 8 years. By providence, a friend of mine was an avid reader of your blogs and many others. He had been a vocal apostle for many months before and was feeding me brief synthesis of everything red pill. Two days after the bad news (did not get on that plane to square things off, couldn’t face the traveling while feeling miserable) I emerged from my depth of despair, spent a weekend on my sister’s sail boat and took a firm resolve to get better and achieve control over my life and myself. Having time to spend, I hung out more with my friend and got schooled while devouring the Rational Male’s every blog post. Reading, re-reading, assessing, evaluating content while reflecting on my relationship with my wife and connecting the dots. Very hard work, killing the beta. On the other hand, it felt good to have certain views I kept to myself about relationships validated.

    The benefits from the red pill are multiple but the major one was a leavening of a more level outlook on life. It helped me land on my feet faster after the separation. It made me see the burden of performance for what it is and pushed me to overcome any feeling of hopelessness and alienation from the world. It made me love the man I am and pushed me into dedicating myself to my guitar playing and song writing. I dropped everything that used my time and brought no benefits and pruned my circle of friends accordingly. I also met more interesting people in the last year than in the previous eight.
    In regards to women, I love them as much as before though I now see through the veil of deception. Being aware of red pill truths and equipped with Rollo’s and CH’s rules, I can navigate my interactions with the ladies with full knowledge of the land mines that are laid before me. It seems I have a natural talent for teasing the girls.
    To end this, a heartfelt thank you to you, Rollo, for the help you are providing. Despair and confusion was my lot. It isn’t anymore

  59. Rollo I’d love to give more feedback, but I think my series of comments since my divorce aptly shows the trail of how I applied the RP in my post divorce life (3 years next month).. And it all leads to the same exact conclusion as Logic’s, which I shared last week. It’s a state of Zen that allows us to fully enjoy a woman in all aspects, without the weak underbelly that she can exploit. Safety net is a good analogy, because yes, it does still hurt to lose someone you love. The two in the kitty, if you are so fortunate, is definitely the fastest elixir. I have experienced this once in my short time back on the scene.. the FWB was right there when another love went south, and that was the end of that pain. So simple. But even without that, the RP mindset is a place to turn when things fail.

    For me, there have been many tertiary benefits.. It’s an umbrella when she rains. It’s a decoder when she’s cryptic. It’s a suit of armor for your identity. It’s an affirmation for tough choices. It’s a nest egg of confidence. It’s a toolbox with the right tools for the job, instead of the primitive and inadequate tools you used to wield. It’s a way to assert control without being controlling. It’s comic relief when things get too serious. It’s a well of assertiveness to tap in all aspects of your life.

    It’s a brotherhood that reminds me that a situation as disgustingly bad as the destruction of my 20 year marriage and family was, that I am not alone, and that many many other men have suffered, and still risen, and I must do the same. Don’t think for a second I didn’t look the other way, and stare into the abyss.. wondering.

    I still falter. That won’t change. But I won’t go down.

    I can live without bitterness, and love without restraint..

    ..though she’s here today, gone tomorrow.

    C’est la vie.

    I’ll surf or ski.

  60. What I’ve found most useful about your writing, Rollo, is the systematization of things, the putting together of things in a way that is coherent and useful.

    I was in the manopshere and around the “red pill” for quite a few years before becoming more familiar with your site, as you know. The basic ideas were familiar to me. But the great value add here is the tying together of things, the placing things in a broader systemic context, and the recapitulation of them in that vein. This is extremely useful, both from a conceptual and a practical/life point of view — thanks for that.

    The comments in this thread are priceless, by the way — so many men being helped here, it is great to see that.

  61. First time poster, but long time lurker. How did the Red Pill change my life?

    I was pretty much always an introvert. Throughout middle and high school I had no idea how to talk to girls. No clue how they operated. I was either a “creep” or eventually I became the really nice guy. We know what that means. I was your classic beta. While I was strongly against feminism, I was a pretty big white knight too. I never saw the whole picture but I was on my way.

    Throughout high school I had my ONEitis who didn’t like me back. I did everything blue pill possible to try and win her over. You name it, I did it: be suuuper nice and kind, notice and give her attention, buy her gifts, etc. And I wondered why she didn’t like me back? Why were all these girls friendzoning me or going for these badboy jerks?

    Thankfully, I discovered TRP while I was still in high school. I guess because I never really had a relationship or wasn’t totally invested yet I didn’t have much of an anger phase. But somehow I came across the manosphere and saw people discussing intersexual dynamics. I read and I was shocked. Here are people online discussing MY EXACT SITUATION. And even better, they are predicting EXACTLY what happened and how the girls would respond. It’s like they had a magic ball and knew everything. They even had explanations and all for it! From that day on, I was reading on the manosphere everyday.

    Then, I was able to compare/contrast past experiences and examine what worked/didn’t work. It’s pretty clear TRP was the answer.

    Thank you, Rollo. Who used to be the scrawny, unathletic, white knight, kiiind, embarrasing introvert is now a CONFIDENT, intelligent, totally un-afraid of public speaking, young man who’s hitting the gym all the time, cold-approaching girls, and improving himself in all aspects of life.

    I still have to practice and will put my knowledge and skills to the test as I enter college. (When I discovered TRP in high school I was really just learning and practicing, no real chance to use it or change myself that everyone knew for 3 years)

    Thanks again. I feel ‘good’ now. I know the truth and I’m even bringing friends into the knowledge of TRP. I’m glad I’ll be able to use this knowledge in the future. I’m religious, so my focus is to use this knowledge for marriage and not for PUA stuff, but that’s what is great about TRP. It is amoral. It is just knowledge. It just is. Use the facts of life how you see fit. Best of luck to everyone. Thanks.

  62. @Curaitis

    You are on your way brother. It’s what you do in the aftermath that really defines your progress. This was necessary.. now make a few simple changes and keep your eye out for the next one.

    because this was the one of a kind experience

    No sir, it was not. It was one of many to come. Let me know if the next one is even more enthralling.

  63. Taught me how to stop being a shlub, to take life by the balls and not get preoccupied with pleasantries and etiquette.

    Gave me the confidence to walk away from girls who frustrate me, knowing that I can generate options.

    Taught me to be a lil rougher with them in the bedroom, especially during the proliferative phase.

    Taught me that I’m the one in control, but that I’d been ceding that control to women to my own detriment. After my shift in MPO I’m better with women, better at sports and more confident in my work and everyday interactions. When I realized I could I started spinning plates, and before long I was dating the hottest girl I ever knew in my life. In my blue pill years I’d have died for a night with this girl. Now I wonder if even she is enough.

    These books and blog have shed light on what went wrong with every failed attempt to get intimate with a girl in my life, and on what dissolved the relationships I did have.

    Easily the most valuable, empowering info I’ve come into. Thanks.

  64. @Rollo

    I’ve noticed you post your books’ reviews on twitter. I’m not sure if you know this, but there are reviews in the non english(de, fr, uk, etc) amazon sites. Maybe this could help you spread the word more.

  65. Every single time I read Rollo’s blog TRM,I am amazed at how so many of today’s societal and cultural problems reside in something as simple as misunderstood gender dynamics.

    I will be eternally grateful to Rollo and his faithful commenters for the insight they have given me into my own life’s set of figures. Really who would think that the simple misdirection of biological gender norms could cause so many problems throughout modern society,that get blamed on various things snowballing into chaos,well maybe not that bad but it makes me think.

    “The Blue Pill” (Noasatall) Vs. “The Red Pill” ( Mycoxarockin) seems too simple a choice to make without a basic understanding to uncomplicate the complcated.

    An old associate of mine called for some help today.I mentioned that I didn’t recognize the # he replied “my wife doesn’t let me use this phone very often. To witch I said we will have to fix that. He said “When you figure that out let me know.” So I told him there is a book,the print is very fine and it is so simple it will make you mad you didn’t think of it. Then we both had a good laugh.
    Thanks again Rollo for all that you do my good man.

  66. Hello from Turkey.
    About 2.5 years ago I had posted to Reddit about my wife threatening to divorce me.
    Even though I had a basic understanding of Redpill, I understood that I was beyond the point of return for saving the marriage.
    We divorced, I have custody of my 10 year old son, and no alimony payments .

    After a while I started writing, on a very popular Turkish forum similar to Reddit . My way of making sense of all of it was writing about what I read about the redpill, my own experience, others that replied back to me.

    2 years forward, I get similar messages from men and boys – who mostly lack the language skills to read directly from the source, but from also men who benefit from my perspective as a Turkish man, because most men are kind of stuck between middle eastern masculinity and western influence that we receive via media.

    The Truth is what it is. Understanding it and adapting to it will always work. Redpill is the closest we got to the truth of how intergender dynamics work .
    Rollo and other men who helped elevate redpill ideas have collectively helped many men and women to have happier more productive lives.

  67. Everything’s been well covered but I’ll emphasize the value I’ve received from the fact that this “place” TRM, exists at all. Rollo puts the knowledge out there worldwide and free of charge, plus has created a forum where men can exchange ideas, challenge and encourage each other on subject matter that generally cannot be discussed anywhere else. He could have kept it to himself, used it solely for self-advancement, and left the AFCs to flounder. Read all the stories above to imagine the effects of that.

    Now we know other men saw it too, couldn’t figure the angles same as us, and are grateful to have it explained. Now we can get the baseline knowledge, and enhance it by communicating in near real time with men that are further along the curve.

  68. Let me speak for the married dudes with kids who find themselves in marriages they got themselves into while they were blue pill.

    Imagine you finding an email from your wife to her mother stating that she was scared for her safety (bullshit charge setting the stage for her narrative to leave) and would leave with the kids soon.

    Imagine taking what you learned from Rollo and being able to be quite happy living in the same house with her, being able to make her happier than she’s been in years, and getting more ass than before.

    You know the marriage probably won’t last.

    You know she may cheat on you – and you on her.

    You know you’d be more happy living on your own and banging younger girls.

    But you handle it all like Neo when he finally sees the zeros and ones and is able to nonchalantly fight Agent Smith with one ZFG hand.

    When a man finds himself inside a situation like mine, the Red Pill isn’t merely a safety net; it’s armor.

  69. ” I’d like to get some feedback on how the Red Pill has changed your life.”

    It’s been the confirmatory diligence that has allowed me to accept life as I have (mostly) always viewed it – in a much more natural state – vs. trying laboriously to back fit everything into a BP/Golden Rule paradigm and not feel absurd, lonely, depressed, angry and confused.

  70. I live in San Francisco, having moved the family from NY about 8 years ago. Within 4 years of our move, my wife filed for divorce. Rollo, your stuff, and the rest of the manosphere, has totally saved me.

    I wish this information was taught to all boys in middle school or high school. It’s value to the lives of men is more important than any other subject currently taught.

    As a result of the divorce, the lives of my three boys have been about 50% crushed for these past four years. Failing grades, truancy, parental alienation (I’ve only seen my oldest son three times in four years), and god knows what else in going on that I don’t know.

    Men, absorb all of Rollo’s info. It’s important.

    Thing I have learned from my experience:

    1. Under the current family law system, it is just too legally risky to get married. I know it’s better for the kids to have an intact family, but damn if I know how that can be accomplished. A prenup for sure, but if your ex wills it, you won’t see your kids for years (maybe longer).

    Also, guys I recommend Stefan Molyneux’s podcasts. They are great also.

    Thanks Rollo.

  71. theRationalMale helped me to jailbreak my bluepill “one day she’ll love me” rapture. Like all DIY Jailbreaks, it seemed daunting and impossible, but I’m good. The firmware update works, mostly. Society hates me. Thank you.

  72. Thank you for your work Rollo! TRP is fairly new to me but have loved reading your books and gaining new awareness and understanding in reflecting on my own experience with hypergamy and a most unfortunate Beta story. It’s almost comical looking back, as you could have almost predicted what was about to happen in my own journey. I was the typical narcissistic prick with little game but with options. She was the sweet, beautiful NAWALT that I began dating in high school. I partied, she chased. I played, she stayed. We dated for 6 years or so as she skipped her party years, so I married her when she finished college. Much too young I was 25, she was 23. This is when shit got interesting. She met betaman (10 years her senior) when she started a new job a few months after getting married. (Protip: do not be this guy) He sold the fuck out like no other chasing her. She changed jobs, he followed. He bought a car identical to what we were shopping for to impress her. He left his wife & three young children for her. All of this in about 4 months. She was getting more attention and affection than she had ever received and loved it. She was getting absolutely nothing from me. Hell, I probably hadn’t even kissed her more than a few times since we were married. I was driven, and focused on my businesses not on a love story. She was torn, and broke the news to me a month before our first anniversary. I told her she should carry on, but she wouldn’t. I sold the house and went back to school, she followed and paid the bills. Poor girl, I treated her like hell for a year or so. It wasn’t easy, but looking back, fortunately I never lost control of my frame. Hypergamy’s a bitch, but somehow we persevered. Life lessons learned. Call it what you want, but seventeen years and two sons later, I can’t say I’d change a thing. Just had to experience it and learn a little beta game. Laughable, i know, to most red pillers but it’s led to an awesome relationship with a wife who now, about to turn 40, works out every day & is still hot as hell, cooks & holds nothing back for me. Had to be terrible to be that guy at the time, I’m sure, but I’m thankful for the beta and for your books.

  73. Longtime lurker and reader- No words can fully express the impact, but in a nutshell, my grandpa’s dad died in Germany when he was an infant, then raised in a large family by a single mom. Certain manosphere-known patterns got passed down to me through my dad. My mom was an overbearing sociopath type, dad defeated and vacant. I had very little, actually zero guidance, and made disastrous decisions with women and was mired in severe depression and misery leading to a long period of drug and alcohol use and peaking with a mental breakdown. My life began to, and eventually completely stabilized, after a short time of reading The Rational Male in 2013. I regard Rollo as a complete blessing, and proxy main leading male guidance and wisdom figure in my life, albeit remote and anonymous.

  74. The best thing I got out of TRP was the habit of challenging my beliefs and social conditioning. It put me on the path to understanding shit about who I am, who WE are, why we’re here, and what will lead to a fulfilling life.

    Unfortunately it seems that most people want to replace Blue Pill ideals, beliefs, assumptions and conditioning with “Red Pill” ideals, beliefs, assumptions and conditioning. Ideals, beliefs and assumptions are your little blankie to cuddle with when things get scary. Don’t trade the blue blankie for the red blankie. It’s going to let you down just the same.

    No belief is true. Anything that is true can be KNOWN. This will get you there:

  75. TRP made me hate people (both men and women). It made me see everyone as ennemies that want my ressources or hurt me out of evilness. And it made me understand I can’t trust anyone.

    It altered my social life significantly and in a negative way.

  76. Rollo:

    Your best writings are, by far:

    The Medium Is the Message
    Just Get It
    War Brides

    How has The Red Pill changed my life?

    A tad over 6 years ago, I was your typical middle aged average frustrated chump, having vanilla missionary sex every 3 weeks or so with a wife who could barely conceal her contempt for me. So one day i was at work, reading some political blog during lunch, when I happened on an article talking about the 2011 Kay Hymowitz book, the title of which escapes me. I think it was Hymowitz herself writing in City Journal. She had a link to Roissy’s old blog (then known as Citizen Renegade, now Heartiste), back when the original Roissy was writing it. That took me to some of the older blogs then existing, most of which are gone now (Badger whose blog is down and Private Man, whose blog is still up following his untimely death earlier this year).

    I couldn’t believe what i was reading. It was like i was reading the history of my life, written by other people. I had always had this nagging feeling something didn’t work.

    Why did my relationships always fail? Why am i a married guy with a sex life that sucks (or, rather, DOESN’T suck)? Why did this happen? What did i do to cause it?

    And, holy shit, IT HAPPENED TO OTHER GUYS TOO. I’m not alone. And I’m not crazy either. Something IS wrong. Something is REALLY, REALLY wrong. And I’m not the only man who’s seen it.

    I KNEW it. I just KNEW something was wrong.

    And the thing that was wrong was ME. It was the way i acted, the wrong things I’d been taught and internalized, the things i believed with no real basis for believing them. It was my upbringing. And it was how i interacted with society. And i was also right was that society really had changed, right under our noses.

    Everything i read confirmed more and more what was going on. Concepts, things I’d seen, things Blue Pill people dismissed – all were articulated in crystal clear prose, explained what happened, how they happened, and why they happened.

    Without going into detail, The Red Pill saved my marriage. It saved me a lot of money. It saved my children from living through their parents’ fuckups. It saved my children from the hell of coming from a broken home, watching their father sink into poverty, watching their mother sink into insanity, and watching themselves fall into the abyss. It saved my entire family from certain social, economic and professional ruin.

    The Red Pill saved me. No matter what happens, I’m not afraid of it. I can now stand up for myself, get what i want and need, and end relationships that don’t serve me. Could my marriage end? Sure. If you’d asked me that 7 years ago, I’d have said “no, we’ll NEVER get divorced because my sweetums would NEVER EVER do anything BAD like that to me!!” Now? It’s “sure, Mrs. deti is capable of that. And if she does blow it up, I will be OK and my kids will be OK. NO matter what happens, I will be OK. It will not kill me.” The difference is now that I’m realistic about it, and I’m not afraid of it.

    I’ve also learned how surprisingly predictable men and women are in their social and sexual responses. I’m amazed at how application of Red Pill concepts results in men and women responding roughly as predicted.

    A caveat is that a man has a relationship with a woman. He’s not having a relationship with “women”. He’s having a relationship with one woman. The map isn’t the territory. That said, she has a basic female nature which Red Pill quite clearly maps out.

    There’s a lot more but that’s enough for now.

    Thanks, Rollo, from the bottom of my heart.

  77. When I got the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” after four kids and twenty years of marriage, I was a mess. I proceeded to do everything wrong that could possibly be done wrong to save the train wreck that my life became. Didn’t matter, the train jumped the tracks when she cheated. I moved out right before Christmas. That first Christmas Eve without my kids I almost beat the fuck out of a guy that cut me off in a Home Depot Parking lot. It was the lowest point of my life.

    Not sure how I found my way to the Rational Male, but I thank the good Lord I did. Being a logical man, I was drowning because I could not understand why this had happened to me. It made no sense. I was in shape. I was rich. I was successful. I did everything right. I was a Good Guy.

    “The Myth of the Good Guy”, “The Burden of Performance”, “Woman in Love” and the Iron Rule of Tomassi #6: “Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved” connected the dots for me. I don’t want to be dramatic and say that you saved my life, but you probably saved my life.

    Once before I wrote on here:

    Many want to change the world
    Few do
    You have

    Thank you

  78. First time poster on here. I have only recently found Rollo’s work and it has LITERALLY saved my life. After being a BP husband for 20 years with three kids, my wife cheated on me in a year long affair. My BP self understood the rationalization my wife gave me behind it but I could never fully explain it and understand it myself. Let alone fix the marriage. I tried every BP solution imaginable. Everything the articles said, every top 10 list, hell even things she said she needed and worse of all everything the marriage counselor said. I was depressed, paranoid and hated my life and what it had become. I started thinking that maybe everyone would be better off without me around. I started contemplating what that scenario would be.

    Then by accident from an ad link on amazon I ended up buying The Rational Male. Even after it had arrived I didnt pick it up immediately. I finally threw it in my bag on a business trip and boringly opened it up on the airplane. That was the day I woke up and my life has not been the same. I realized the reasoning behind how my life had panned out. I realized the steps of what I needed to do to become the man I used to be. I realized how I could improve my life and become a better father for my children so they could grow up to be better men. I have a long road ahead of me still but I realize that I am on the right path and Rollos writing was the lighthouse to help me find my way.

    Thank you brother!! I honestly do owe you my life!!

  79. I’ve been a reader of Roissy since I found it in college in 2009 and found this blog about 6 months into its inception. I also found Barbarossa and the old Stardusk before he went too technical and abstract. The information found in this have lowered my blood pressure immensely and nothing gets me worked up regarding women any longer. I also don’t think I could ever fall in love with a girl again either knowing what I know but that is perfectly ok with me. I still enjoy their company and sex and am in a relationship but if it ended tomorrow it would not even get me upset anything more then a minor car problem would. I view the word out of a woman’s mouth the same way I view a child speaking. They both are too out of touch to know what is best for them or what they will want in 2 years. the understanding of the powers balance dynamic is huge and also understanding women’s dualistic nature. I used to get so upset over women’s dishonesty as I would take their words at face value rather then ignoring them entirely and putting my own interests first. Wow does it feel good to be in control in a manner I never have been before. I wasn’t crazy all those years, I was just misled by misinformation regarding women’s behavioral tendencies.

  80. Though I found Athol Kay first The Rational Male is what really awakened me to how things work. Though I still don’t like a lot of what makes up my marriage I at least understand it. I no longer fear making her mad. Reality is she’s going to get mad at me on occasion. That is on her unless I truly fuck up, and if I do I own it.

    Once again I allow myself to do things that are just for ME. Tomorrow I leave for a week long motorcycle trip. Alone. For ME. Before I’d have felt guilty heading off alone. Not anymore. She’s an adult; she can amuse herself for awhile.

    Embracing stoicism and simply being a man has improved all aspects of my life, not just relationships with women. We have lost touch with what makes us men and it is imperative we awaken as many kindred souls as possible. Without The Rational Male I don’t know if any hope would exist.

  81. @ DisgruntledEarthling

    Cheers for your interest. I’m currently free-form writing about my experiences with women and life in general, trying not to edit my stream of consciousness. I’ve led a more non-mainstream life for most of my adult life, so have escaped the draining commitment of marriage, career and kids whilst still enjoying the company of many mainly younger women over the journey. Now at a healthy 51 i’m in the best headspace of my life (quitting alcohol for the most is something i highly recommend) and moving forward with great contentment and still much to create, learn and achieve. Most of the men’s blogspots out there seem to mostly be about picking up women, style, gadgets, health & fitness etc (not including TRM in this observation), but my focus will be more on life experience, living the good life as i have experienced it, and moving forward with style and confidence in middle age. I also plan to have an interactive comments section as i would like to facilitate a community feel (like we have here) and support network for other silver foxes (and younger men too, of course). I truly believe, as i am living proof, that an old fox definitely can learn new tricks, as i got into motorbikes (dirt & road, riding hard and fast) and started making cutting-edge electronic music (after many years in various bands) in my mid/late-40’s and am now thriving. I believe that happiness can only come from within, that intimate relationships with women are very over-rated and almost superfluous as a man hits 50 and beyond. Freedom and autonomy is what men truly crave, which compliments all of the wisdom shared here on TRM.
    What are some topics you would like presented and discussed in ‘The Solitary Silver FoX’ forum? It’s going to be a very interesting conversation and i welcome your contribution…

  82. Safety nets are only needed by those in danger. The man who,really understands, comprehends and ,most importantly, accepts red pill truths has no need for a safety net. He is no in danger because he is prepared, developed and mature enough to live without one. You either swallow the red pill or you don’t.

  83. Rollo,
    Long time lurker , first time comment.I found the red pill in 2012 right after escaping an engagement to a BPD ex. Quickly swept through numerous site/blogs. The three Rs, So Suave..

    I just have to say, as an INTJ ,self described mostly lesser alpha. with plenty of unrealized BP ideals, once I started digging into your sidebar and old posts, I was here daily. Your writing speaks to the truths I have subconsciously known , but has expanded upon and explained them in a depth I never could put together.Like the RP Buddha .I feel like part of the family of commenters/visitors here. Though before this, Ive never typed a word.What a great bunch of guys who always make my day when a new post is up.

    Ive always had an interest in human psychology and evo psych , and you have inspired much additional reading and study in this field. I want to thank you for the inspiration. Mental point of origin is key. I will vastly improve your life.

    Your blog should be required HS study. Now at 50 ,I cant imagine what my life would have been had I had access to the red pill and your blog at 18. ( but you know…rotary phones and party lines in 1984)

    I wholeheartedly endorse Atticus’ comment above. Couldn’t have said it better.

    You have
    Thank you

  84. @theDeti:

    >And, holy shit, IT HAPPENED TO OTHER GUYS TOO. I’m not alone. And I’m not crazy either. Something IS wrong. Something is REALLY, REALLY wrong. And I’m not the only man who’s seen it.

    In Real Life…most of the guys I know wouldn’t know how to offer proper context or advice on how to handle a variety of these situation—let alone explain the motivations behind them.

  85. Rollo, your blog and books are by far the most logically concise description of the reality of relationships in the manosphere. I originally found Dalrock through an instapundit link, and then found my way here. The first few months I just read everything I could; there was so much information and it was so obvious that everyone had been lying to me for years. You explained why my wife was not interested in me anymore and what to do. It was hard to take; that old idealistic dream is hard to let go of, but I did, eventually.

    I kept testing things out that I read here and other sites like Heartiste, and it was amazing. I could tell just from very miniscule peacocking and the reaction of women that you guys were right (along with realizing what women actually meant sometimes when they were emoting), and that I had been blind to another whole world of communication and information my whole life.

    Reading the Rational Male was like learning another language, or getting night vision. So much about women made sense; it’s not a mystery anymore, and the parts that are a mystery don’t matter because I am my own mental point of origin, thanks to you.
    I’m still not that comfortable socially (think I’m on the spectrum) but it’s night and day better now. Still working on self improvement, and I guess that never ends, but all I ever wanted was someone to tell me the truth ands tell me what to do, no matter how much it hurt in the beginning, and you did that, and I’m grateful.

  86. Rollo Echoing the thanks of other posters it would be an exaggeration to say that you saved my life but you definitely changed it for the better.

    As a somewhat natural who became betatised during a BPD marriage and then suffered a severe case of oneitis about 4 years ago TRM has helped me make sense of things and put me back on the path I need to be.

    I’m sure for some of the men on here it has been a true “life saver” and for that we are in your debt.

  87. I needed this so bad. I constantly spoke with myself after taking the red pill and asking how do I stop caring. I spin multiple plates and in that I see what Rollo speaks on my confidence level remains high. Even during so coming across one hot girl after the next I’m always pulling myself back from the feeling I should value the hottest more than the others as if there won’t be another. I’ve kept myself under control and I see it’s simply a growing experience. If I’m lucky going to the 21 Convention I’ll have the opportunity to speak with Rollo himself.

  88. The essence that can be distilled from all these comments here is: your wisdom grants us a framework to deal with all the experiences (especially with women) that puzzled us or didn’t make sense at all. Every reader now can process former and coming incidents and learn from them in a way that was not possible before.

    That is the same for me and therefore: Keep on rockin!!!

  89. @THe Solitary Silver FoX

    I’m 58 going on 41… I woke up rather late in life, after blowing up my 28-year ltr. 2 grown kids. I’m kinda lucky since I’m one of those fore-ever immature young boyish men and have kept in shape. Never a woman chaser and that’s a really hard thing to change. These days I just want to experience a healthy sexuality before my gear shrivels up and stop working.

    There’s not a lot of people like me in the ‘sphere. Rollo’s writings and the OMG here are the nearest things to my experience (except for the being married part) so anything you have to contribute would be very interesting.

  90. Rollo
    I thought that it was strange that in relationships I had to “force” myself to be the “good” boyfriend/husband that society said that I needed to be. I was always treated way better by women when I went against the grain and was not quite committed.

    Living the blue pill life was frustrating and confusing for me, and thanks to your blog, I see that a lot of men share the same experiences. I’m married over 30 years and while I don’t spin plates any more, I know that I could if I needed to do it.

    As a daily reader for about four years, I would like to thank you for opening my eyes with your articles and fostering the kind of discussions that one can find nowhere else.

  91. “I KNEW it. I just KNEW something was wrong.”

    Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

    Neo: You could say that.

    Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that’s not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?

    Neo: No.

    Morpheus: Why not?

    Neo: Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.

    Morpheus: I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?

    Neo: The Matrix.

    Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?

    Neo: Yes.

    Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

    Neo: What truth?

    Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.

    In Truth To Power: “So entrapped are we in our self-expectation and self-imposed limitations that we fail to see that we have always had the keys to our own prisons – we’re just scared shitless to use them.” –Rollo

    Yep. Safety Net indeed. Composed of new neural networks–via neuroplasticity.

    Derived from Red Pill Awareness and Action.

    “Action is the answer.”

    Backed by science and observation in Daniel Coyle’s The Talent Code

    Excerpt 1:


    When it comes to dealing with bad habits, many of us try to attack the problem head-on, by trying to break the habit. This tactic, of course, doesn’t work, and we’re left with the old truth—habits are tough to break. The blame lies with our brains. While they are really good at building circuits, they are awful at unbuilding them. Try as you might to break it, the bad habit is still up there, wired into your brain, waiting patiently for a chance to be used.

    To build new habits, start slowly. Expect to feel stupid and clumsy and frustrated at first—after all, the new wires haven’t been built yet, and your brain still wants to follow the old pattern. Build the new habit by gradually increasing the difficulty, little by little. It takes time, but it’s the only way new habits grow.

    Excerpt 2:


    • Action is vital. Myelin doesn’t grow when you think about practicing. It grows when you actually practice—when you send electricity through your wires.

    • Myelin wraps—it doesn’t unwrap. Like a highway paving machine, myelination happens in one direction. Once a skill circuit is insulated, you can’t uninsulate it (except through age or disease). This is why habits are tough to break (see Tip #46).

    • You can add myelin throughout life. It arrives in a series of waves throughout childhood, creating critical learning periods. The net amount of myelin peaks around age fifty, but the myelin machinery keeps functioning into old age, which is why we can keep learning new things no matter what our age.

    Studies have linked practice to myelin growth and improved performance in such diverse skills as reading, vocabulary, music, and sports.

  92. If I were to be honest, I’d say Red Pill knowledge kept me from eventual suicide. It wasn’t just the blue pill that put me in that mental state all by itself. No for that I required some very neglectful parenting, and some pretty bad ideas from a church that were stuck in my head. And to be truthful, I wasn’t at all close to suicide to begin with. I hadn’t seriously thought about it. I didn’t own any weapons (at the time), had no ammunition, etc.. But I knew the path I was on.

    I’m not spinning plates and enjoying women as I should be, but I’m also not stuck in a BP fatalistic mindset where I know it’s just a matter of time before I can’t take it any more.

  93. I feel the same way.
    I tend to play future cutscenes of horror in my mind a little too often than I should.
    Knowing that it is not healthy, I distract myself with the gym, work assignments or a ride on the motorcycle.

    What if she cheats on me, divorces me, takes the kids, leaves me in financial ruin?
    Will I decide to suck the delivery end of the Mossberg 500 to make the pain end?
    Or do I get up acknowledging I was always aware of this possibility, brush it off and move forward?
    This awareness helps me move forward. Let’s me know that no matter how much I’m in the shit, I’m not really alone. Others have survived worse. In many, many thrive afterward.

    If you ride enough miles, you are going to lay the bike down. Lots of dudes say “oh no, not me. never.”.
    Not a question of if, but when.
    I think it is wise for men to hear these voices of fear. Every time. Feel the cold. Embrace it.
    It’s what makes us men.

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