Mitch’s Red Pill

With apologies to my regular readers and commentariat, I’m mid-stream through crafting my next essay and what do I see in the comment feed from last week’s post? Our (our soon to be formerly) Purple Pill friend Mitch returning to give us all an update on what was supposed to be his inevitable married bliss. Rather than allow Mitch’s saga get buried under pages of comments I thought I’d post the continuation of his in-progress unplugging here for others to benefit from. Be sure you read the first case study before you dig into his update below:

Hello Gentlemen,

It’s good to be back here reading your insightful, intelligent, funny, actionable posts. I’ve been away for awhile. Glad to see Rollo’s blog and books doing so well. Congratulations sir, and I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my purple-but-slowly-turning-red heart for your work. I am now eating my previous words about this being ideological and cult-like. lol. Some might remember that I was the eponymous subject of one of Rollo’s posts on purple pill, and the ensuing discussion about whether I was setting myself up for slaughter in marrying a Ukrainian I’d met online. I (basically) said I’m a big boy now at 50, and know what I’m doing with women, and would let ya’ll know how it worked out. Not that anyone gives a rat’s ass after all my bullshit, but whatever, here I am.

Funny thing is that I’d been thinking about posting this update a few days ago, after reconnecting with TRM blog, and I would have said something along the lines of: she has been here almost 9 months, we been married for 5, going reasonably well, regular and enjoyable sex, she cooks everything from scratch and takes good care of me and the house; she’s diligently studying english, meeting people, etc, seems mostly happy; without fail she packs my lunch every night – once she woke up at about 1 am and remembered she had not made my lunch for work next day, and even though I told her not to worry about it, she got up, and went downstairs and *cooked* me lunch. Her responsibility, she said. She also genuinely likes me, and is very loving and affectionate and passionate in bed. We’ve had some conflict, and I’ve mostly held my ground, but made some fairly key concessions in the spirit of playing fair (since she has, in actuality at this point, zero leverage in this relationship), and accommodating her wants and needs.

And hypergamy doesn’t give a fuck.

Lo and behold, yesterday the computer is open and I see a ‘Hi’ come across the screen from Skype from a male. Open the Skype window and she’s been chatting with this dude from New Hampshire or some shit, not long, but the kind of bare bones swapping of details – the guy’s on hunt for a wife, and she’s asking about the size of his town, and what’s the weather like, how many kids, etc. As the blood drains from my face, the veil parts, I see it for what it is, and I realize without a shadow of a doubt, this shit is real. Complete with the subsequent hamstering and total lack of accountability following.

I don’t believe she was actually interacting with this guy with any conscious intent to find someone else, but clearly she thinks about it, and is willing to “play” with the idea, even at a time when she has sooo much to lose. I could withdraw my petition to get her a green card in two seconds, and she’s done. I think she was/is bored and enjoys the attention and validation, and sense of (diminishing) power that she has over men.

So now I need to figure out what to do. i am beyond grateful for Rollo’s work, this blog, and forum, and having internalized RP to the limited extent that I have, and know I need to do A LOT more. It’s pretty humbling to be 50 and need to be totally schooled in something so basic. It’s fricking amazing that I have managed to hide myself from this knowledge for so long.

Thank you.

[…]

I meant to also say that I have learned a ton from you guys, and really appreciate the time and energy that many of you spent last fall trying to get me to get my head out of my ass. What can I say, I need to learn the hard way. Truth is, though, you guys were so vehement about it, that it definitely helped me to keep myself in reserve and react a bit more strategically to her.

Just to preface here, my intent isn’t to be cruel or pop of with ‘I todja so’, but I think it’s very important for guys in the various stages of unplugging to see Mitch’s situation as a clinical example. I’m not trying to flame you or pillory you Mitch, but your situation does serve as a good example.

As I mentioned in the first post about Mitch, there is a visceral desire on the part of Purple Pill men to force fit the parts of Red Pill awareness into Blue Pill idealisms and personal convictions because they simple cannot face the abyss of what a full Red Pill awareness presents to the belief set that the Blue Pill has conditioned them for. It is truly awful to be confronted with unflattering truths about the nature of women as well as a man’s coming to realize he’s got to drop all of his previous idealism and create a new, positive, paradigm for himself based on Red Pill awareness. For a lot of men inured by the Blue Pill it’s just too horrible to let go of those hopes based in a false awareness of their experience.

Thus, we get tropes like “well, the Red Pill is true, but it’s okay to have ONEitis for a girl because my new awareness insulates me from the worst effects of it.” Mitch even began his first entreaty by claiming this woman was “the ONE.”

I’d like to encourage men who still want a good wife to look East. As in, Russia, Ukraine and other former USSR counties. I cannot begin to tell you how encouraged and revitalized I am by this woman I met – and by most of the women I met and interacted with before I found “the One.

Shades of Purple

I’m beginning to see that there are two varieties of Purple Pill men; the first is the guy whose revenue and wellbeing depends on his only accepting what the Red Pill presents to him in half-measure. These are the Man-Up, do the right thing moralists who only ever marginally warn against the nature of women while believing that the self-improvement imperative that the Red Pill represents to men will more than compensate for the very real dangers of a man not fully killing his inner Beta. These are usually the guys who at one time were solidly Red Pill and used that awareness to their personal benefit with women (and life), but at some stage their life’s circumstance demanded that they “change their ways” and shift back to believing that Blue Pill ideals can be had with Red Pill means. These are the men who follow The Script.

The second type of Purple Pill man is the one who never fully unplugged. I believe this was where Mitch was when I outlined his situation in the first essay. There is a certain class of men who simply cannot ignore the truths that the Red Pill presents to them, and they eagerly endorse the tenets and the understanding of women’s visceral natures. Hypergamy doesn’t care, they get the dynamics of Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks, they even believe they’ve come to terms with their own (often Beta) nature and what it is they believe is necessary to effect a change in their lives; yet there are aspects of that Red Pill awareness that they desperately want to reconcile with their long-held Blue Pill idealistic hopes. So, as a result, they attempt to discard or ignore whatever aspect of the Red Pill that isn’t conducive to making those old Blue Pill dreams come true.

For as long as I’ve been writing in the Manosphere I’ve always made a point of telling men never to use my marriage (or other Red Pill married men’s marriages) as some kind of template or goal to be had with Red Pill awareness. I realize that my own Red Pill marriage seems like some ideal to strive for, but what I think most unmarried single men need to consider is that, for the vast majority of men who’ve been able to unplug, remake themselves and employ an internalized understanding of Red Pill awareness within their marriages and in their families, these men do so in spite of themselves.

Very few men I know of, whom I’d say are Red Pill aware husbands and fathers, did not set out to be so. I have no doubt that in the future I’ll encounter men who were formerly Blue Pill and Beta who changed themselves, unplugged, became Red Pill aware, internalized it and used it to enter into a marriage wherein his Frame was always the primary and his wife intrinsically recognized it and was attracted to him because of it. I do hope this is eventually the case for some men, but as it stands now, the far more common occurrence is the Blue Pill, Beta husband who was “awakened while married” and turned his marriage back from the brink – if indeed that is the case at all. Even more commonly it is divorced men put through the ringer who unplugged post-divorce.

As I mentioned in the first case study about Mitch is his story is engaging because it so faithfully follows the progression of rationales Purple Pill men will use in order to hold fast to their old, comfortable mindset – in this case it’s the Blue Pill dream of an idyllic marriage had through Red Pill means.

One danger I think should be apparent to Red Pill men having to deal with a Purple Pill guy who’s hostile and resistant to what they’re trying to tell him is the potential disaster a Purple Pill man is setting himself up for in his inability to really stare at the abyss, work through the anger and hopelessness, and then recreate himself. This, I feel, is where that resistance stems from. It’s not so much an inability to acknowledge the truth of what real Red Pill intersexual dynamics is showing him, but rather how he will internalize, process and use that to create a better life for himself. So you get anger, not at the message as much as the messenger, when you tell him his sincere hopes are based on a Blue Pill interpretation of what a ‘good marriage’ is:

Lol…you guys can go fuck yourselves. I appreciate where ya’ll are coming from, though. Trying to save me from myself. And i appreciate how naive my post must sound to a bunch of hard core red pillers like yourselves. However, I am not nearly as inexperienced with women and LTR’s as ya’ll assume. I have learned a lot from red pill in general and this site in particular – it’s very insightful and helpful, and I’ve adjusted my attitude and posture toward women because of it. At the same time, though, it strikes me that many of you are taking on red pill ideas as a kind of ideology, and that’s its own kind of danger. The absolute certainty that ya’ll think you know all you need to know about me and my woman and my relationship from that very brief post is what I mean. As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman. Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage.

And yet, it does and it did.

If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then I feel sorry for you. Red pill helps me tremendously in seeing more clearly what is going on. I totally get that I am a beta provider for her, that a large part of my appeal is what I can provide, and I get that she is turned on by alpha traits. Both of these things can coexist in the same person. Understanding this and what’s behind it makes me feel less anxious and insecure about that, because I’m more clear about what to do.

Also, being a beta provider does not make me a bitch. Providing for my woman and family is a large part of what makes me a man, and I derive great satisfaction and pride in doing so.
Also, I am not in any way “settling” for a 44 yo woman. Younger women were/are available to me, but that is not what i choose.

There’s a lot more to life than fucks and bucks, but if that’s all it is for you, then this is the type of woman you will attract. In a relationship, what you get is what you are. If I can’t find a way to live with an open heart, then I don’t know what the fucking point is. But, to each his own.

So, here we are. And again, it’s hard for this not to come off as a big ‘I toldja so’, but I think it’s even more important for Red Pill men who have it in them to want to help a Blue Pill guy unplug, or hell, just to even recognize the reasons why he’s in the personal circumstances he is, to remember that the Purple Pill guy is only lashing out because he fears the totality of the truth that Red Pill awareness brings into his life. As I always say, unplugging guys from the Matrix is dirty work, but I am genuinely glad to have Mitch back on track and hopefully he’s learned something from the experience. I think other Red Pill men should adopt the same spirit of welcoming a Blue/Purple Pill prodigal son back into the fold.

So that’s my take, but please feel free to comment on Mitch’s situation in the comments thread.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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SJB
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Mitch: I’m my own man, and if I end up being Exhibit A for what Not to do, then so be it. Maybe that will be of some use to others. I’m not doing this to prove anything to anyone- I’m doing it because it’s my life and I want it to be the best it can be.

Martyrdom is what you are choosing. The suggestion is two-fold: you can choose your ending and you probably need to revisit “best”.

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@Mitch: “At the moment she’s terrified.” And so your doom is sealed. You know it’s a damned site cheaper and easier to hire a lawyer to keep you out of trouble than it is to get you out of trouble. @Sentient: “A “controlling” husband who limits his wife’s dating might fit this bill…” Under Duluth/VAWA having her on an allowance, explicitly, already does. Her professional organization in the Ukraine (with whom she is still in full contact) can inform her of this, it’s knowledge of the trade. The local women’s shelter certainly will and offer her direct aid in leveraging… Read more »

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@Mitch: Whatever you do …. read The Rational Male first.

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kfg 1. There is no tight connection between (to use his term) androphilia and failing to reproduce. This is not ancient Greece. I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority of gays had children. I would. Perhaps you could provide some support for your speculation that the majority of homosexual men have children? Sexual contact is not even necessary. Is buying a child from a foreign country the exact same thing as biological reproduction? Do the majority of homosexual men buy children? 2. If he fails to reproduce, I have called into question what he is attempting to do. Exactly what… Read more »

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@Mitch I totally understand and support your decision. Go for it! Just honestly report back every 6 month or so how it is going – to help others. @all Please stop criticising Mitch! If you think that Mitch is making mistakes, you probably do not really understand the RP philosophy! Because there is an elephant in the room, and a lot of the manosphere doesn´t seem to understand this. It is actually hidden in the name of this blog “the rational male”. As humans, we are not rational. Now while it is true that on average, men are more rational… Read more »

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kfg
Under Duluth/VAWA having her on an allowance, explicitly, already does.

Doubly so if he reduces the allowance.
As does limiting her access to Skype or other means of communications with other men.

And she will certainly be referred to the woman’s shelter by someone.

Where someone like I-Bites will be ready to help her, with a protective restraining order form partly filled out.

Sentient
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Mitch but good reminder that my ace is strongest right now. Please… what are going to do with your ‘Ace” force her to love you? Is your “Ace” a brand of lock on her chastity belt? You have a delusion on your hands friend. You have no attraction, no game, a legal obligation and a system to ensure she gets what she wants – GC – with or without you. She has a few months to rope a dope you… then just dope you. But really explain your thinking of this strong Ace and how you are going to compel… Read more »

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Bromeo

Great Idea. Rollo please do it… and add an over under poll… Doc Zipper – I got you down.

j
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I say let mitch the bitch fail.

Sentient
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Marriage and Green Cards In the case of marriages that are less than two years old, the foreign spouse is granted conditional permanent residence. On the basis of that conditional green card, the foreign spouse comes to live with the sponsor in America. At the two-year mark of the relationship, immigration officials review the marriage to see if the couple is still together. Those spouses that satisfy officials of the bona fides of their relationship get approved for permanent status. Those who fail are required to leave the country. It sounds straightforward enough, but often it can get complicated. One… Read more »

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“This is not ancient Greece.” That is correct. We make the error of sending our childless children to fight. Hence we suffer Lost Generations in the big ones. “Perhaps you could provide some support for your speculation that the majority of homosexual men have children?” Strictly anecdotal, but of those with whom I am personally acquainted, some of whom are living together as gay couples, I can think of one over 40 who does not have children. Some are living as a couple with wife and children. It is not at all uncommon for men to come out in the… Read more »

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https://www.uscis.gov/i-134

I-134, Affidavit of Support

Mitch
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Sentient Please… what are going to do with your ‘Ace” force her to love you? Is your “Ace” a brand of lock on her chastity belt? Of course not. What I mean by ace, is a temporary shortcut that induces the dread required to buy the time I need to develop sufficient game to stand a fighting chance. You’re right I have no game, but I’m a quick learner. And my read of the situation (and you cannot with certainty read my situation, people! It is not fucking possible, and all of you that think you can are only projecting… Read more »

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Sentient
Where do you reckon you would rate yourself wrt to risk aversion? Especially emotionally.

Mitch
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@palma

The clue here is in the words NEW LOVER..

Nice work Sherlock

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General question…As far as men’s SMV I want to hear some experiences from “older” 30+ men. I am very conflicted on the realities of being an “older” (32-33) man in the dating market because I have not been in the market for almost 5 years (LTR) that recently went splat. I have a handful of friends who all have differing experiences. My one friend was married and divorced less than 2 years later and has embraced his freedom by going on a tear, banging out hot younger women with ease. My other friend is a natural who is married with… Read more »

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Waffles

I am very conflicted on the realities of being an “older” (32-33) man in the dating market because I have not been in the market for almost 5 years

As a 50YOP married dude with some side exploits… You are still a child at 33. Chicks lurv older guys, if you act the part – skillful, dominant, experienced, and learn Game, you won’t have any trouble, even at your young age.

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Mitch Where do you reckon you would rate yourself wrt to risk aversion? Especially emotionally. Well generally whatever I’ve wanted to do – I do a quick calculation – and do, not talk about it… Risk is not the same when you have skill, and many times the “downside” is illusory and the upside great. So generally not “risk averse”. Started a business at 24 with no money, wife and a kid… walked from 8 figure business to pursue other options, etc. Lot’s of blink ’em along the way. But mama didn’t raise no fools either… I don’t joust at… Read more »

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Mitch

You’re right I have no game, but I’m a quick learner.

No you aren’t.

And my read of the situation

Is wrong… you don’t even grasp how the elemental structure of how you met has fucked you so thoroughly…

Culum Struan
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@Waffles – 37 year old single guy here. Have a pretty unlined face, but more gray hair than most 50 year olds. Active in online game and nightclubs with late teens/early 20s girls etc. Not fat, but otherwise average looking. Age basically irrelevant as long as you don’t come across with an old-dude/beaten down vibe (that doesn’t mean pretending to be 21 year old and dressing like one etc – it means you still have passion and enthusiasm for LIFE). Many resources on this but for eg, See a recent video by the pickup coach Jeffy from RSD – he’s… Read more »

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Mitch What I mean by ace, is a temporary shortcut that induces the dread required to buy the time I need to develop sufficient game to stand a fighting chance. So what is the Ace? What is this “shortcut”? How is threatening to deport her evo bio psych attraction Game based dread? How is it triggering her hypergamy in your favor? You don’t even know what “dread” is… you poor stupid fuckwhit… All you have is blind hope you can learn wizard game in a few months – with your eyes and ears closed and your hands tied behind your… Read more »

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@Mitch – to rephrase Sentient’s last post, he’s basically saying that your GC sponsorship isn’t dread. Dread [of losing you to another woman] triggers genuine attraction in a woman by flipping her biological switches.

What you have is not dread. It may be – in a fashion that is more limited than you think – some level of leverage to prevent her from leaving you (for now).

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You shouldn’t be asking a general question, as that is a buffer. I’ve heard this thing a time or two (lol, actually a shitload of times) on a certain talk radio show. The real question is: what station in life were you at when you entered your recently ended LTR? How did that Go? Why did it fall apart? Who are you? (not a literal question. Something to ask yourself.) Are you happily satisfied with yourself? Are you comfotable with being alone with yourself? Why would a girl want to be with you? How was your childhood? What were your… Read more »

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Clarification re reading Rollos book. I have not read the book, but have extensively read his essays on this blog, and somewhat on other RP or PP sites, got about 3/4 through athols MMSL – beginning many months ago. I do not understand RP deeply, that’s for sure, and am only beginning to internalize it. I’ve got a long, long way to go. But I am not a naive little lamb offering myself for slaughter. I know myself fairly well, what my capabilities are, and to date in my life have done a decent job of risk assessment and mitigation.… Read more »

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That was for Waffles of course

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Mitch Let’s go through these statements… But I am not a naive little lamb offering myself for slaughter. What did you think when you paid the agency for your bride? You have a pre nup in place? What did you think when you filled out and signed form I-134? I know myself fairly well, what my capabilities are, and to date in my life have done a decent job of risk assessment and mitigation. So how did you mitigate the risk that within months of touching down on US soil that your speshul would be flirting online with another dude… Read more »

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@sjf: You can look at and for other mens success stories and as for positive experiences from others at your young age. But you can’t copy them. You have to do your own work and have competence and confidence to do that. Both take your own reference experiences into consideration. +1000 and you have to let other men do their own work. You can’t assume that your process and choice making will work for other men, it won’t. But telling what you did and what worked/s FOR YOU, and let other men see themselves in you is more precious to… Read more »

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Sentient
Much as I appreciate what your trying to do, I cant and don’t want to justify my every move and decision. I need to focus on learning to game my wife.

Mitch
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But as far as risk assessment and mitigation wrt to my current situation- the jury is still out, and we won’t know till it plays itself out.

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sentient, your tenacity is admirable; your logic is sound and points well made; I hope if I ever need it then someone like that will be there for me

“I don’t joust at windmills I know aren’t there”

time to consider this statement in light of mitch’s recent decisions; mitch, please check in from time to time and let us know how it’s going as no matter what happens on your end, adding your experiences to the cauldron will make us all wiser

good fucking luck, I hope you don’t need it

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Asking for Sentient not to turn the heat in the kitchen up too high is putting up Buffer Shields. Mitch, there is a method to Sentient’s madness tone in the Manosphere. I have to tip my cap to him for showing up here in early 2016 and being: Forceful. It helped me a ton. And I didn’t understand what he was saying at very first. I came to understand he was chanelling Manosphere axioms and maxims and actionable advice. Very, very good advice. From a turret in a self developed castle. Despite the fact that everbody has a different narrative… Read more »

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sjf – it’s not sentient’s methods, I agree with you there; but calibrating to the audience is what I’m talking about

mitch’s open, heartfelt tone when re-surfacing a couple of days ago has changed to more of a hunker down, dig-in defensive mode… he’s made his decision; to me, this signals the turtle has withdrawn to his shell and no amount of poking or prodding will change that; he must come out on his own when his mind is in a less defensive state and make his way slowly, his own way

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Mitch

Much as I appreciate what your trying to do, I cant and don’t want to justify my every move and decision.

Of course not, because you know you can’t. Which is why I asked you – after you boasted of your prowess at risk assessment and mitigation. You have zero. You know it. She knows it.

Wake up Mitch.

It’s your ass, not mine… lol I’m just a digital expression…

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The evolution is very clear here. You are not ‘falling apart’ not by any means. I don’t see this as ‘oneitis’ on your part. You have a relationship and one you want to work. Being ‘willing’ to be alone is part of the ability to stay together. Calm, mastery, strength, confidence, funny, witty – everything you got. Amused mastery, your girl, fuck her good, dreams of great things (behind a bit of soft dread). It can all be there. She’s not the ONLY girl, shes the girl you chose, you want, you desire. Women love that shit. Confidence is everything.… Read more »

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Doc – Mitch is grist being milled. The point of this space is to wake up all the lurking Mitch’s…

He has lifesavers in the water… he swims to them or sinks…

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Mitch

You’re right I have no game, but I’m a quick learner.

Didn’t you say that same thing last year?

kfg
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“But I am not a naive little lamb offering myself for slaughter,” he said last November as he walked into the gates of the abattoir.

“I made a mistake,” he said yesterday.

“But I am not a naive little lamb offering myself for slaughter, I learn,” he says now as he makes his way toward the great, whirling blades.

Exactly what he has learned is left as an exercise for the student, ’cause it beats hell out of me.

Anonymous Reader
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Mitch’s wife sexes him good, he says, and has been Skyping with another man.
Los Tornados Tejanos have a question for you to ask her, Mitch.

dr zipper
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“they may be worth saving, that’s the point of this site, comments and all” – dr zipper

…. then zipper says a bunch of shit….

“The point of this space is to wake up all the lurking Mitch’s” – sentient

damn, have to eat my own dog food

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Regarding Donovan: “This is not ancient Greece.” kfg That is correct. We make the error of sending our childless children to fight. Hence we suffer Lost Generations in the big ones. Completely irrelevant. This is also not Afghanistan or Iraq or Morroco. “Perhaps you could provide some support for your speculation that the majority of homosexual men have children?” Strictly anecdotal, Cool. I have anecdotes that are different from yours, and so what? [Hollywood] is a floating bubble world. If it is not the majority, it is certainly not uncommon. Note that I didn’t assert it as fact. I said… Read more »

SFC Ton
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I have seen way to many men do excllent jobs of vetting, and wives staying loyal for 20 plus years before they go to whoring to think marriage etc is a good idea.

SFC Ton
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Fair certian Donvan was married and had a son from said marriage before deciding he liked cock…..and the neo Pagans I habe ran into have been pretty much all pole smokers which is funny given in many pagan European cultures fucking dudes and running away from a fight where the only two ways to get the death penalty. Any rate he wrote an amazing book but he is a weird dude
………

Emotional risk aversion? That sounds gayer then Jack Donovan .

kfg
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@AR: “Completely irrelevant.”

I didn’t raise the issue.

“[Hollywood] is a floating bubble world.”

Those people’s father’s didn’t originate in Hollywood. Obree lives in East Bumfuck, Scotland. I live in East Bumfuck, NY.

“It is another way that homosexual men “have” children, probably more common than biological, based on my own anecdotes.”

It is still a false monotony. Another way they have children is shipping sperm to another continent. Not having sex with women is not an impediment to biological reproduction.

“Cool. Now so what?”

Now I think it will be interesting to see where he goes with it.

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@AR: “Completely irrelevant.” kfg I didn’t raise the issue. You didn’t get the point. “[Hollywood] is a floating bubble world.” Those people’s father’s didn’t originate in Hollywood. Obree lives in East Bumfuck, Scotland. I live in East Bumfuck, NY. I live in Flyover Nowhere, and all the male homosexuals I have known well enough to talk with did not have children. Lesbians are different in that regards, but lesbians generally are women, at least out here. “It is another way that homosexual men “have” children, probably more common than biological, based on my own anecdotes.” It is still a false… Read more »

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@waffles. A just below 50 YO Married guy here. You are a young pup, you frame yourself as an older dude because you are checking out younger chicks. That does not make you an older dude or something, it makes you a man, a perfectly normal man. Men dig fertility and 22 yo chicks have it in spades.Chicks close to your age will try and convince you that your and old perv for checking out 20 YOs. They just want to cock block you because they know their value is burning off by the day now they are post wall.Don’t… Read more »

rugby11
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Mitch
What are you going to do?

SJF
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“Being ‘willing’ to be alone is part of the ability to stay together. Calm, mastery, strength, confidence, funny, witty – everything you got. “ Being in a relationship can be hard when a man is isolated. Isolation is dangerous. Those virtues quoted are good ones for relationship game. There’s something outside of the relationship bubble that matters. Socializing with other men. And other men and women. In real life>on a virtual blog. Mitch is here in a virtual male space. With a Male Social Matrix.In a male space men get a position in a hierarchy focused on a mission. Here… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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@AR: “You didn’t get the point.” There is no impediment to Donovan biologically reproducing. He doesn’t even have to ever step foot on the same continent as the mother, never mind fuck her, although I’ll note that among the things he is is a white tribalist. It is simply a matter of his desire to biologically reproduce. And how that might relate to his idea of starting the world. “Sure, that neopagan drum circle bonfire boys club has never, ever been done before.” And I suspect he’ll figure that out. As I suspect that will not be the end of… Read more »

Mitch
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Holy shit! Game really is liquid nitrogen. The dog training analogy is clicking for me. If I can train a German Sheperd to find lost people in the wilderness, and then run back and me and take me to the person, well fuckin’ A, I’m pretty sure I can train my woman. Just dropped her off at home. Giving her positive reinforcement, but not too much, communicating without words, maintaining frame as her alpha. She’s eagerly starting to snap to attention. The hardest part was not letting her see how delighted I am that it’s working! That is gonna be… Read more »

Mitch
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And wagging her tail and spilling her beans…

mersonia
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@Mitch

The Itis took your soul.

Put me in your will please….. I love you and you’re a sucker. Just leave me like 5 grand a mattress and some skittles

Blaximus
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Circa 1987

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts4sEBb2K3s&w=1280&h=720%5D

Then he married a non African Bush Bitch, lol…

http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/fp/Nicole+Murphy+Nicole+Murphy+Leaving+Badgley+FnnonkmCDrol.jpg

( not bad for 49 – 50…)

Fathered 9 kids total…

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Blaximus
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Honestly, I don’t really get this idea(l) of finding a wife in some far away land…. only to bring her ass here.

I had a friend/fwb, Brazilian stripper, who was here on a temp worker visa. She straight up made me a business proposition: we get married so she could stay in the U.S., and she’d take excellent care of me and I could fuck anyone I wanted to – and she’d even join in.

Declined. But I admired her straightforwardness.

Mitch
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Mersonia
Lol! I’ll hold onto the skittles thanks.

Mitch
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Blax, YOU are way out of my league. But she isn’t.

kfg
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kfg
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“I’ll hold onto the skittles thanks.”

Doin’ it all bass ackwards again.

Anonymous Reader
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@AR: “You didn’t get the point.” There is no impediment to Donovan biologically reproducing You didn’t get the point. This is still not ancient Greece. It is simply a matter of his desire to biologically reproduce. All by himself? And how that might relate to his idea of starting the world. Or it might not. You’re reallly stretching. Of course he could buy a child. That’s been done, too. “Sure, that neopagan drum circle bonfire boys club has never, ever been done before.” And I suspect he’ll figure that out. No evidence so far. As I suspect that will not… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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Mitch
Holy shit! Game really is liquid nitrogen. The dog training analogy is clicking for me. If I can train a German Sheperd to find lost people in the wilderness, and then run back and me and take me to the person, well fuckin’ A, I’m pretty sure I can train my woman.

The analogy is imperfect, because dogs are not hypergamous with regard to men.

not only do I not have game, I also have NO poker face.

Sure, that fits. Part 3 is going to be quite the train wreck.

theasdgamer
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The analogy is imperfect, because dogs are not hypergamous with regard to men.

My bitch ran off to party with my neighbor. He complained that my golden was drinking his beer. Then she lied about bathroom sex with a Chihuahua.

Sentient
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Sure, that fits. Part 3 is going to be quite the train wreck.

https://narrativefirst.com/articles/four-acts-not-three

Part 3 is Mitch’s faux victory on GC Day +1… Subtitled “I told You so Pffffft!”

Part 4 is the devastation that follows… Subtitled “What was that again? I can’t hear you over the sobbing.”

Blaximus
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Sentient’s like…

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If-I-Fell
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Test

Mitch
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I’ve been underestimated my whole life, I don’t like it, but I have learned to use that to my advantage when I need to. I don’t fuck with other people but if they start fucking with me, I usually will just exit if it makes sense to do so, because fighting these kinds of battles is often exhausting and I don’t enjoy it-unless i get lucky and manage to take him – or her – down quick and hard. I admit that’s fun. At work, I never back off, and will do everything I can to avoid a battle, but… Read more »

If-I-Fell
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I attempted to post this in the AM, but the website would not accept the post. Then, I ran a “Test” in FR’s and then this thread–accepted. Then I tried to pasted the comment–rejected. Now, Attempting to retype. @ Newlyaloof I had a terrible commute yesterday–briefcase spilled open, Starbucks cup shattered, rain pounded, stupid drivers. But, your reframe of insanitypytes22’s twisted FI-serving comments had me LOL! I know you’re not supposed to feed the troll, but dissecting her weak arguments with her own words was great. Game of Thrones (Spoiler Alert) I tried to enjoy Ep. 6, but the show… Read more »

SFC Ton
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She does not “like you” if she thinks she can control you

That’s not how women work.

Mitch
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And the best part of it is, I don’t even have to play dirty. Psychological Aikido. I just made that up.

Blaximus
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I’m torn between writing Mitch a long assed posting about my foray into feelz and butthurt and poor decisions that I started out in relationships with at the tender age of 13 ( it’s a trippy saga for real ), or just letting it go and follow along with the advice he’s being given right here, right now, in 2017. Yet I’d be remiss if I didn’t address all of my lurking pals out there reading along with a thought or two. To all y’all reading along, especially those of you younger than 30 years of age, I want you… Read more »

kfg
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@AR:

You say you are watching me squirm. From my perspective all I see is you squirming around the fact that gay men both can and do produce biological offspring. Many of them. And I can’t for the life of me figure why. It’s silly, and you are not generally prone to such silliness.

“Or it might not.”

The premise is my own. It can be readily found upthread and I do not disown it. It would seem the point where it would be both valid and relevant for you to be a bit more loquacious in objection.

“No evidence so far.”

Agreed.

kfg
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Mitch
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I see I’m starting to bore people, and I’m getting bored too by all the negging. I’ll update at a later date. Cheers.

Mitch
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@sjf: Mitch, there is a method to Sentient’s madness tone in the Manosphere. I have to tip my cap to him for showing up here in early 2016 and being: Forceful. It helped me a ton. And I didn’t understand what he was saying at very first. I came to understand he was chanelling Manosphere axioms and maxims and actionable advice. Very, very good advice. From a turret in a self developed castle. whoa, what sjf? I’m confused about the advice YOU’ve given me. Do I forge my own path taking from other men what seems most useful to me,… Read more »

Mitch
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right after this…

Finally, I reported today on my attempt at gaming my wife, based on advice given here. And it worked.

And the person who gave the advice – ads – then backtracks and piles on ridicule saying dog training is an imperfect analogy because dogs aren’t hypergamous. Well no shit, genius.

This kind of stuff is bullshit – talking out of two sides of your mouth. You want to help guys unplug? Doesn’t seem like it to me.

Sentient
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Mitch

Funny. I usually hope I’m wrong. Just rarely works out that way.. You’re just the latest example.

j
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j
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“But Sentient and others continue hammering on me trying to get me to change my decision because in their eyes it is WRONG.” Dude you are the literally the only one that thinks he can turn this around lmao. Let that sink in. The people telling you what to do (people with vastly more experience/RP knowledge than you), have either had this happen to them/friend/acquaintance. Your situation is not unique. You are too fucking stupid to see that. Personally I want you to fail cause I’m a dick. “I need to focus on learning how to game my wife, and… Read more »

If-I-Fell
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There is often discussion of saving those that can be saved and reading last rites over the dying. But, there does not appear to be an actual last rite. So, while not religious or catholic, I have written one in Mitch’s honor: Date and Time of Death: 08/30/17, 6:26pm We accept that our brother Mitch has turned away from red pill praxeology, and against all reason we pray that he will be spared from the pain and suffering arising from blue pill idealism. We further accept that, for this time, our brother is lost to us. But, we hope for… Read more »

Mitch
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Sentient
I don’t know for sure, but I hope you’re wrong too. I know your heart’s in the right place, and that you really know what you’re talking about. It’s not that I think I’m so special, or so smart, but I simply cannot go against what my own instincts tell me to do, and base a major life decision on what someone else believes (no matter how well intentioned) is right for me. I also know that my instincts are formed through the intense
BP conditioning of my childhood, so I gotta work through that.

theasdgamer
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@Mitch

And the person who gave the advice – ads – then backtracks and piles on ridicule saying dog training is an imperfect analogy because dogs aren’t hypergamous.

Actually, I didn’t say that…AR is the culprit. You need to work on your reading comprehension aikido.

SJF
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“I’m frustrated, because defending and justifying my decisions really is a waste of my time – and a waste of yours. It does not get me any closer to where I want to go.” The peanut gallery was wondering when you would come to that realization. You doth protest too much about the pressure, the pressure. Although you did admit you were afraid. And that is cause for concern. Fear is unbecoming. Defend, explain, excuse, and rationalize. Otherwise know as DEERing in Robert Glover’s No More Mr. Nice Guy. Which by the way, is on the sidebar reading material for… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@Mitch

but I simply cannot go against what my own instincts tell me to do

It’s not instincts, it’s feelings. Feelings will really fuck you up if you don’t understand the game. Think of poker. If you don’t hide your feelings when you get a good hand, they will cause you to expose the quality of your hand.

SJF
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J said: “Dude you are the literally the only one that thinks he can turn this around lmao. Let that sink in. The people telling you what to do (people with vastly more experience/RP knowledge than you), have either had this happen to them/friend/acquaintance. Your situation is not unique. You are too fucking stupid to see that. Personally I want you to fail cause I’m a dick. I think Mitch can turn it around. Nine months of fucking up relationship game is nothing. (try twenty years). The toolbox to do that has so many tools. But the trick is to… Read more »

Keith
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Mitch if it does go bad with the unicorn try your best to get the most miles out of it you have already paid the bills. Try to get the most social proof that you can out of the situation. Get the woman to bring you some lunch to work.and get her to hang out out with you in your social circle. Build your value with other females by being seen with her. Most females never want a man unless they can take him away from another woman. Most females never want to fuck they you they just don’t want… Read more »

kfg
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The problem Mitch faces is harder than bringing back 20 years of bad marital relationship. He has issued a nuclear ultimatum to a professional Ukrainicorn. And from that position he has to win a relationship he never had in the first place.

Mitch
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Thanks for clarifying SJF. I get what you’re saying about being all in. That’s the crux of the matter. What I’m saying about my instincts- I’m not talking about my feelings, I’m talking about my instincts that tell me I can turn this around. Not with my current level of game skill and awareness, no, but that I can get there. Maybe I misunderstand what folks are trying to tell me, but what I’m hearing is that I’m simply fucked and I should cut bait now and I’m a fucking idiot if I don’t do exactly as you say. making… Read more »

Mitch
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Anyways I need to take a break from all this exhausting explaining, and just listen awhile.

Please, talk amongst yourselves so that I really will STFU.

dirka dirka
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@Mitch Why did I say you are out of your league, intellectually, culturally, emotionally ? Of course I haven’t met either of you, so I could be way off. And I am basing this on some sweeping generalisations, that may be unfair. But it sits with what I know, what I’ve observed in life. Lets do the ‘intellectually’ and ‘culturally’ first. What I am about to say may cause offence to quite a few people, but it is my honest opinion. You are American, she is Ukrainian. You are at a huge disadvantage. Americans have money, they are often big… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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Mitch
I also know that my instincts are formed through the intense
BP conditioning of my childhood,

Those are mental habits. Neural pathways. Brainwashing.
Instincts are wired deeper than that. You are acting on the basis of flawed, out of date training, not instinct.

Anonymous Reader
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Tagging on dirka-dirka:
Then we have Ukraine itself, which is part of the Russian world but is schizophrenic about it, also wants to be European. Ukrainians are more or less plugged in to European culture, which is a whole other thing. So she inhabits three worlds, you just one.

Mitch, re-read Rollo’s essay on War Brides. Pay close attention.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/

dirka dirka
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Let me broaden my response to Mitch above to talk about relationships between Westerners and non-Westerners more generally, when the two live in their respective countries. Right now I am in Vietnam. I have a good female friend here (we had a bit of a thing once but she wanted a ‘relationship’, I only wanted a bang, it was there for the taking but time ran out and I had to get on a plane. I lost interest after that, but we have stayed in touch as friends. I like her on that level, I also flirt with her incessantly… Read more »

LEX
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I can see why this causes difficulty, but the cult mentality you are fabricating around unplugging does not help. Yes, hypergamy doesn’t care. But unplugging should not be fetishized and one should not create two distinct groups of people based around a mental shift they “need to make” in order to be healed, saved or whatever. This is groupthink and you are creating an “in group” and an “out group”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groupthink

SFC Ton
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#1 I don’t think Mitch is sincere. I call bullshit on the whole thing because it all reads like some lame chickflick romcom #2 let’s pretend he is legit. I think it is possible for certian men to pull this sort of shit together, but not Mitch. He is to worried about being a nice guy to establish himself over this chick, who is likely to be a pro #3 We all know it’s generally easier to pull a new girl then patch up shit with the current gash. In Mitch’s case this would seem even more true since she… Read more »

SFC Ton
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LOL drika is on the money To add to what he said, most of the girls I have ran across like that have more then one Western boyfriend, getting each one to help her with rent, medical bills and whatever else she can come up with which adds up to a nice living for them. The other thing I have noticed is they don’t normally start husband shopping until they sense the wall is coming. Then it’s all about landing a beta of some sort. Thing is, they view it all like a business and provide excellent customer service. They… Read more »

Culum Struan
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Just for those guys who weren’t there/can’t remember: Mitch is 50 and his wife is 44/45. Not just past the wall, but way past it (mind you, it’s entirely possible she’s still hot, although not as hot as when she was 25). One thing to add to dirka’s excellent post (mainly for the lurkers): Just keep in mind that women divide men into two categories – it’s often called Alpha and Beta here, but in this context “Lover” and “Provider” are perhaps better names. Everything dirka said applies to the Provider (BB side of the equation) guys but the Lovers… Read more »

Sentient
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Mitch

I simply cannot go against what my own instincts tell me to do

That’s cool. Nothing wrong with that. Instincts are good right?

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4592305/lemmings-off-the-cliff-o.gif

Naturals. so much for learning game I guess…

rugby11
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Game and the principle’s of life and understanding… To play off Blaximus and his comment on not wasting time and applying what we have learned. This is a bit on play with a personal note on my behavior and the change needed in acting on the red pill awareness. Went to a party on this week a women invited me to and observed many thing’s that helped calm me down on how the world works. Behaviors and elements of certain thing’s people enjoy and participate in. Social rejection in approach’s don’t matter as much and conversation’s are important. What the… Read more »

St
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Mitch you got this bro. If you’re learning it’s all good. It’s never a loss if you get something from what your thinking/doing. You felt it, the power of being THAT guy. I could tell in your posts. Best of luck and learn your game

If-I-Fell
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Ukrainicorn – noun | u-crane-ek-corn

Mythical homo sapiens female originating from the eastern European sovereign state of Ukraine or land area. The creature is believed to possess a feminine, non-hypergamous nature

I think kfg coined this; brilliant word formation.

pinelero
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Trying to follow this saga. If Mitch simply wanted a housekeeper, female companionship, and a sex partner then this transaction makes sense at one level. However, the legal risks of having to be responsible for her upkeep forever in the USA as a contingent for a greencard/visa this a large risk. The fact that a Blue pill fog of idealization of a woman is stopping Mitch from seeing the transactional nature of this arrangement is the most concerning to me. True they may like each other enough to check off the companionship box at some level, so the rest is… Read more »

SJB
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Lemmings on a turn table = betas in the FI grinder. Brilliant. Perhaps adding a Marlin Perkins voice over: “These men, driven insane in their search for the ONE, leap into the sea.”

dr zipper
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dirka keeps knocking them outta the park…. well done sir; you have a yareally kind of style that should really resonate with many men

Sentient
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Pinelreo “Buy American/Hire American!” Lols Mitch… I’m a fucking idiot if I don’t do exactly as you say. making a decision- a major life decision, like hiring a lawyer and dumping my wife asap, because others tell me that’s what’s best for me is just weak and it’s wrong. LOL. Come on… Recall everyone told you NOT to enter into this arrangement. A major life decision to marry her… 100% said don’t do it. Did anyone come out in favor of your marrying this woman? I mean in real life…. Of your vast network of guy friends – you have… Read more »

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