Mitch’s Red Pill

With apologies to my regular readers and commentariat, I’m mid-stream through crafting my next essay and what do I see in the comment feed from last week’s post? Our (our soon to be formerly) Purple Pill friend Mitch returning to give us all an update on what was supposed to be his inevitable married bliss. Rather than allow Mitch’s saga get buried under pages of comments I thought I’d post the continuation of his in-progress unplugging here for others to benefit from. Be sure you read the first case study before you dig into his update below:

Hello Gentlemen,

It’s good to be back here reading your insightful, intelligent, funny, actionable posts. I’ve been away for awhile. Glad to see Rollo’s blog and books doing so well. Congratulations sir, and I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my purple-but-slowly-turning-red heart for your work. I am now eating my previous words about this being ideological and cult-like. lol. Some might remember that I was the eponymous subject of one of Rollo’s posts on purple pill, and the ensuing discussion about whether I was setting myself up for slaughter in marrying a Ukrainian I’d met online. I (basically) said I’m a big boy now at 50, and know what I’m doing with women, and would let ya’ll know how it worked out. Not that anyone gives a rat’s ass after all my bullshit, but whatever, here I am.

Funny thing is that I’d been thinking about posting this update a few days ago, after reconnecting with TRM blog, and I would have said something along the lines of: she has been here almost 9 months, we been married for 5, going reasonably well, regular and enjoyable sex, she cooks everything from scratch and takes good care of me and the house; she’s diligently studying english, meeting people, etc, seems mostly happy; without fail she packs my lunch every night – once she woke up at about 1 am and remembered she had not made my lunch for work next day, and even though I told her not to worry about it, she got up, and went downstairs and *cooked* me lunch. Her responsibility, she said. She also genuinely likes me, and is very loving and affectionate and passionate in bed. We’ve had some conflict, and I’ve mostly held my ground, but made some fairly key concessions in the spirit of playing fair (since she has, in actuality at this point, zero leverage in this relationship), and accommodating her wants and needs.

And hypergamy doesn’t give a fuck.

Lo and behold, yesterday the computer is open and I see a ‘Hi’ come across the screen from Skype from a male. Open the Skype window and she’s been chatting with this dude from New Hampshire or some shit, not long, but the kind of bare bones swapping of details – the guy’s on hunt for a wife, and she’s asking about the size of his town, and what’s the weather like, how many kids, etc. As the blood drains from my face, the veil parts, I see it for what it is, and I realize without a shadow of a doubt, this shit is real. Complete with the subsequent hamstering and total lack of accountability following.

I don’t believe she was actually interacting with this guy with any conscious intent to find someone else, but clearly she thinks about it, and is willing to “play” with the idea, even at a time when she has sooo much to lose. I could withdraw my petition to get her a green card in two seconds, and she’s done. I think she was/is bored and enjoys the attention and validation, and sense of (diminishing) power that she has over men.

So now I need to figure out what to do. i am beyond grateful for Rollo’s work, this blog, and forum, and having internalized RP to the limited extent that I have, and know I need to do A LOT more. It’s pretty humbling to be 50 and need to be totally schooled in something so basic. It’s fricking amazing that I have managed to hide myself from this knowledge for so long.

Thank you.

[…]

I meant to also say that I have learned a ton from you guys, and really appreciate the time and energy that many of you spent last fall trying to get me to get my head out of my ass. What can I say, I need to learn the hard way. Truth is, though, you guys were so vehement about it, that it definitely helped me to keep myself in reserve and react a bit more strategically to her.

Just to preface here, my intent isn’t to be cruel or pop of with ‘I todja so’, but I think it’s very important for guys in the various stages of unplugging to see Mitch’s situation as a clinical example. I’m not trying to flame you or pillory you Mitch, but your situation does serve as a good example.

As I mentioned in the first post about Mitch, there is a visceral desire on the part of Purple Pill men to force fit the parts of Red Pill awareness into Blue Pill idealisms and personal convictions because they simple cannot face the abyss of what a full Red Pill awareness presents to the belief set that the Blue Pill has conditioned them for. It is truly awful to be confronted with unflattering truths about the nature of women as well as a man’s coming to realize he’s got to drop all of his previous idealism and create a new, positive, paradigm for himself based on Red Pill awareness. For a lot of men inured by the Blue Pill it’s just too horrible to let go of those hopes based in a false awareness of their experience.

Thus, we get tropes like “well, the Red Pill is true, but it’s okay to have ONEitis for a girl because my new awareness insulates me from the worst effects of it.” Mitch even began his first entreaty by claiming this woman was “the ONE.”

I’d like to encourage men who still want a good wife to look East. As in, Russia, Ukraine and other former USSR counties. I cannot begin to tell you how encouraged and revitalized I am by this woman I met – and by most of the women I met and interacted with before I found “the One.

Shades of Purple

I’m beginning to see that there are two varieties of Purple Pill men; the first is the guy whose revenue and wellbeing depends on his only accepting what the Red Pill presents to him in half-measure. These are the Man-Up, do the right thing moralists who only ever marginally warn against the nature of women while believing that the self-improvement imperative that the Red Pill represents to men will more than compensate for the very real dangers of a man not fully killing his inner Beta. These are usually the guys who at one time were solidly Red Pill and used that awareness to their personal benefit with women (and life), but at some stage their life’s circumstance demanded that they “change their ways” and shift back to believing that Blue Pill ideals can be had with Red Pill means. These are the men who follow The Script.

The second type of Purple Pill man is the one who never fully unplugged. I believe this was where Mitch was when I outlined his situation in the first essay. There is a certain class of men who simply cannot ignore the truths that the Red Pill presents to them, and they eagerly endorse the tenets and the understanding of women’s visceral natures. Hypergamy doesn’t care, they get the dynamics of Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks, they even believe they’ve come to terms with their own (often Beta) nature and what it is they believe is necessary to effect a change in their lives; yet there are aspects of that Red Pill awareness that they desperately want to reconcile with their long-held Blue Pill idealistic hopes. So, as a result, they attempt to discard or ignore whatever aspect of the Red Pill that isn’t conducive to making those old Blue Pill dreams come true.

For as long as I’ve been writing in the Manosphere I’ve always made a point of telling men never to use my marriage (or other Red Pill married men’s marriages) as some kind of template or goal to be had with Red Pill awareness. I realize that my own Red Pill marriage seems like some ideal to strive for, but what I think most unmarried single men need to consider is that, for the vast majority of men who’ve been able to unplug, remake themselves and employ an internalized understanding of Red Pill awareness within their marriages and in their families, these men do so in spite of themselves.

Very few men I know of, whom I’d say are Red Pill aware husbands and fathers, did not set out to be so. I have no doubt that in the future I’ll encounter men who were formerly Blue Pill and Beta who changed themselves, unplugged, became Red Pill aware, internalized it and used it to enter into a marriage wherein his Frame was always the primary and his wife intrinsically recognized it and was attracted to him because of it. I do hope this is eventually the case for some men, but as it stands now, the far more common occurrence is the Blue Pill, Beta husband who was “awakened while married” and turned his marriage back from the brink – if indeed that is the case at all. Even more commonly it is divorced men put through the ringer who unplugged post-divorce.

As I mentioned in the first case study about Mitch is his story is engaging because it so faithfully follows the progression of rationales Purple Pill men will use in order to hold fast to their old, comfortable mindset – in this case it’s the Blue Pill dream of an idyllic marriage had through Red Pill means.

One danger I think should be apparent to Red Pill men having to deal with a Purple Pill guy who’s hostile and resistant to what they’re trying to tell him is the potential disaster a Purple Pill man is setting himself up for in his inability to really stare at the abyss, work through the anger and hopelessness, and then recreate himself. This, I feel, is where that resistance stems from. It’s not so much an inability to acknowledge the truth of what real Red Pill intersexual dynamics is showing him, but rather how he will internalize, process and use that to create a better life for himself. So you get anger, not at the message as much as the messenger, when you tell him his sincere hopes are based on a Blue Pill interpretation of what a ‘good marriage’ is:

Lol…you guys can go fuck yourselves. I appreciate where ya’ll are coming from, though. Trying to save me from myself. And i appreciate how naive my post must sound to a bunch of hard core red pillers like yourselves. However, I am not nearly as inexperienced with women and LTR’s as ya’ll assume. I have learned a lot from red pill in general and this site in particular – it’s very insightful and helpful, and I’ve adjusted my attitude and posture toward women because of it. At the same time, though, it strikes me that many of you are taking on red pill ideas as a kind of ideology, and that’s its own kind of danger. The absolute certainty that ya’ll think you know all you need to know about me and my woman and my relationship from that very brief post is what I mean. As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman. Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage.

And yet, it does and it did.

If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then I feel sorry for you. Red pill helps me tremendously in seeing more clearly what is going on. I totally get that I am a beta provider for her, that a large part of my appeal is what I can provide, and I get that she is turned on by alpha traits. Both of these things can coexist in the same person. Understanding this and what’s behind it makes me feel less anxious and insecure about that, because I’m more clear about what to do.

Also, being a beta provider does not make me a bitch. Providing for my woman and family is a large part of what makes me a man, and I derive great satisfaction and pride in doing so.
Also, I am not in any way “settling” for a 44 yo woman. Younger women were/are available to me, but that is not what i choose.

There’s a lot more to life than fucks and bucks, but if that’s all it is for you, then this is the type of woman you will attract. In a relationship, what you get is what you are. If I can’t find a way to live with an open heart, then I don’t know what the fucking point is. But, to each his own.

So, here we are. And again, it’s hard for this not to come off as a big ‘I toldja so’, but I think it’s even more important for Red Pill men who have it in them to want to help a Blue Pill guy unplug, or hell, just to even recognize the reasons why he’s in the personal circumstances he is, to remember that the Purple Pill guy is only lashing out because he fears the totality of the truth that Red Pill awareness brings into his life. As I always say, unplugging guys from the Matrix is dirty work, but I am genuinely glad to have Mitch back on track and hopefully he’s learned something from the experience. I think other Red Pill men should adopt the same spirit of welcoming a Blue/Purple Pill prodigal son back into the fold.

So that’s my take, but please feel free to comment on Mitch’s situation in the comments thread.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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dr zipper
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congrats mitch!! you’ve been made an example lol

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[…] Mitch’s Red Pill […]

Black Label Logic
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The more I think about the purple dilemma, I think of the gap between aspirations and reality. In the case of the moralists, their aspiration to become a duty fulfilling adult, requires marriage. In the case of the second man, who accept red pill statements, yet fail to fully swallow the pill, they aspire to a given fantasy of what life will be like and giving this up is too painful. This is no different than how people aspire to other things, the kid who aspires towards public service, who becomes disillusioned when the reality of military service dawns on… Read more »

thedeti
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thedeti
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This is often the very last principle a Red Pill man comes to accept in his unplugging. Your sweetie, your wife, the woman you’ve pledged your life to – she is completely and totally capable of doing every single thing we talk about in the manosphere. And probably already has with other men, if she hasn’t with you. And if you give up Frame, she probably will do it to you. Actually, no. The very last principle a Red Pill man usually comes to accept is the fact that men and women really cannot discuss Red Pill concepts in any… Read more »

thedeti
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thedeti
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Just because she married you, doesn’t mean she suddenly shed her feminine nature. AWALT, including your wife. AWALT, including Mrs. deti. AWALT, including all Mrs.

thedeti
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thedeti
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She’s not special. She’s not different. She’s not unique.

Albert
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Albert
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I have been thinking about this a lot recently, not necessarily within a blue pill/red pill dynamic but also extended to alt-right, alt-left, feminism and any other ideology. Why do people (including my former self) belief in them? Well because they are ‘true’. They are true in a sense, just like all the self-help feel good about yourself bullshit is ‘true’, its part of the story with the nasty bits edited out. The story the blue pill offers is ‘true’ in that it describes love between a man and women (if the pre-conditions for her hypergamy are fulfilled). However, what… Read more »

insanitybytes22
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So Mitch picked up a Ukrainian sexual commodity whose sole purpose is to serve and pleasure him and the woman who has absolutely no options, meaning no way of escape, is now about to victimize poor old Mitch with her hypergamy?

Good grief, Tomassi! That poor woman is just trying to figure out how to untangle herself from a sad and pathetic red pill narcissist. Sheesh.

insanitybytes22
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“……at a time when she has sooo much to lose. I could withdraw my petition to get her a green card in two seconds, and she’s done….” I can’t tell you how astoundingly pathetic this all is. Shall we just name this Stockholm syndrome game? Do red pill narcissists actually get off on forcing women to be with them? You guys don’t believe in love because all you can even imagine is power and control? Truly awful, Tomassi. Grow a bloody imagination and a pair of manly bits too, while you’re at it. [Read the first post about Mitch before… Read more »

newlyaloof
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So Mitch’s wife picked up an American financial commodity whose sole purpose is to serve and provide for her and the man who had every warning given to him by Tomassi and gang, meaning we told him so, is now about to ditch said clever-like-a-fox Ukrainian and her hypergamy?

Yep! That poor man is just trying to figure out how to untangle himself from a opportunistic and predictable hypergamous narcissist.

newlyaloof
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I can’t tell you how astoundingly pathetic this all is. Shall we just name this Stockholm syndrome feminism? Do hypergamous feminists actually get off on forcing men to be with them? You women don’t believe in traditional love because all you can even imagine is power and control?

Truly awful, Broad. Grow your own blog while you’re at it.

Sentient
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Newly

LOL

Sam Botta (@sambotta)
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she has been here almost 9 months, we been married for 5
(less than a year ago)~Mitch

The Rational Male – Preventive Medicine Volume 2 by Rollo Tomassi was released March 9, 2015
(more than two years ago)

insanitybytes22
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“Do hypergamous feminists actually get off on forcing men to be with them?”

Why, is that some secret fantasy of yours? Are you home alone dreaming of some big fat, sweaty feminist knocking some sense into you?

Mitch is not a victim here. Mitch is a 50 yr old man who allowed himself to be led down the wrong path by a bunch of red pill narcissists.

And Tomassi is a broken and wounded man,so dysfunctional, he actually gets off on “I told you so” whenever relationships fail. For Tomassi to admit women are actually people would probably collapse his entire psyche.

Sam Botta (@sambotta)
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It’s preventive medicine, not a cure for any particular disease. ~Rollo Tomassi

SJB
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SJB
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Just read an article: “Embryos kill off male tissue to become female” (https://www.sciencenews.org/article/embryos-kill-male-tissue-become-female)

While technically different from Mitch’s situation — kudos, Mitch, on laying it out for constructive criticism — it seems poetically similar.

insanitybytes22
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And another thing, what Mitch is doing to this woman is actually called abuse. You don’t have to be feminist to recognize that.

You should just go ahead and slap the shit out of her Mitch,it would be far more honest. At least you wouldn’t be virtue signaling your own self deception anymore.

newlyaloof
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Why, is Tomassi some secret fantasy of yours? Are you home alone dreaming of some big fat, sweaty dick knocking some sense into you?

The Ukranian is not a victim here. You are a 100 yr old woman who allows herself to be led down the wrong path by a bunch of feminist narcissists.

And you are a broken and wounded woman,so dysfunctional, you actually get off on “you’re so wrong Tomassi” whenever your blog efforts fail. For you to admit men are actually people would probably collapse your entire psychoses.

insanitybytes22
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It’s preventive medicine, not a cure for any particular disease. ~Rollo Tomassi

No chit sherlock. It’s actually the very cause of your disease! Anybody with a lick of sense can see that. Except for a handful of sad and pathetic narcissists.

newlyaloof
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And another thing, what you are doing to this blog is actually called abuse. You don’t have to be smarter than a fifth grader to recognize that.

You should just go ahead and slap the shit out of yourself,it would be far more effective. At least you wouldn’t be virtue signaling your own self delusion anymore.

Sam Botta (@sambotta)
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As if red-pill theory, or whatever it is, completely and concisely explains the total dynamic between a man and woman. Red pill explains a lot of things really well, but certainly not the totality of the mystery that is between a man a woman in a marriage. ~Mitch

This is in no way comprehensive or meant to account for every woman’s circumstance, but rather to help a man with what he can expect in various phases. ~Rollo Tomassi

Streber K
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..”Trust but verify.” Ronald Reagan

insanitybytes22
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Newlyaloofs stupidity and capacity for self projection ranks him a -2 on the intelligence scale.

This is flat out abuse,Tomassi. Your stupid red pill is condoning and endorsing psychological and emotional abuse. That’s the truth.

newlyaloof
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It’s preventive insanity, not a cure for any particular feminist. ~Rollo Tomassi

I’m losing my shit sherlock. It’s actually the very cause of my unease! Anybody with a lick of sense can see this. Except for a handful of my personality disorders.

insanitybytes22
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I’m not going to fight with someone who is still recovering, Sam Botta, but you shouldn’t be carrying Tomassi’s water for him. I’ve already read his lies. I know what he claims.

He is totally wrong and he is endorsing abuse of women,and keeping men trapped in perpetual bitterness.

newlyaloof
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Insanity’s insanity and capacity for self reflection ranks her a -2 on the intelligence scale.

This is flat out self-abuse.. Your stupid feminism is condoning and endorsing psychological and financial man-abuse. That’s the truth.

Jafyk
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@ Insanitybytes: I don’t say a lot around here but I’m gonna guess you’re a woman or white but it’s apparent you haven’t learned a damn thing and you want to come here to plead the case of Mitch’s wife being a victim. Get the fvck outta here with that bs. Are women empowered or victims. If men are such oppressors why didn’t Mitch’s wife get together with a woman to begin with? You bitches feel entitled to a man’s success without responsibility. Mitch’s wife options are to play by his rules, get out and be her own woman or… Read more »

newlyaloof
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I’m not going to fight with someone who is still delusional, Insanity, but you shouldn’t be carrying feminism’s water for it. I’ve already read its lies. I know what it claims.

It is totally wrong and it is endorsing abuse of men,and keeping women trapped in perpetual bitterness.

SJB
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SJB
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IB: pull up your Duluth model and go home — there are sammiches begging to be made. Be useful.

insanitybytes22
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The Deluth model was never intended to be an instruction manual, morons.

newlyaloof
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Insanitybytes was never intended to be an instruction manual.

SJB
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Mitch: There is a certain class of men who simply cannot ignore the truths that the Red Pill presents to them, and they eagerly endorse the tenets and the understanding of women’s visceral natures. Hypergamy doesn’t care, they get the dynamics of Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks, they even believe they’ve come to terms with their own (often Beta) nature and what it is they believe is necessary to effect a change in their lives; yet there are aspects of that Red Pill awareness that they desperately want to reconcile with their long-held Blue Pill idealistic hopes. While the last phrase or… Read more »

scribblerg
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Biggest problem men have digesting the Red Pill is embracing their own inner asshole. Ya have to give up on wanting to be seen as a “good man” – and then you are free. Up until that point, you are just a service animal awaiting a treat for keeping the bit in your mouth. @Mitch – If you’ve internalized the Red Pill, then the only question for you is how many plates are you spinning? Clearly the dynamic is that she’s the “catch” sexually/matewise. How about creating some dread, some jealousy, some scarcity? She might just stop looking for other… Read more »

insanitybytes22
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Mitch,these men are stupid and pathetic and Tomassi is wrong.

I.H.
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Welcome back Mitch. For your own sake, try to keep an open mind about the red pill moving forward. As an older guy, it’s hard to fully accept the reality that so much of what you did in the past with regard to women was totally wrong. I thought I had really embraced the red pill at about age 55. But it actually took the breakup of a 5 year relationship at age 58 for me to finally internalize what I had learned. Be prepared that unless you take steps to end your marriage to her on your terms, she… Read more »

SJB
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SJB
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@Mitch, being a modern, strong, independent woman, IB speaks for herself.

SFC Ton
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#1 arranged marriage is the historical norm and still common as dirt world wide so the troll whore should shut it’s rancid mouth ……… Mitch, what you have discovered is the tip of the so called iceberg. Every day you don’t burn her life to the fucking ground is another day you live the simp life….. my guess is she is skyping any number of men, pretending they are her boy friend and scamming money out of them. Why is that my guess? Because most of the nice girls I banged in the Ukraine were not only running that scam,… Read more »

newlyaloof
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Mitch,men are stupid and pathetic, but Tomassi is my thong.

insanitybytes22
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IB’s been happily married for 32 years now.

Mitch, these men lie. Misery loves company and they want you as miserable as they are.

newlyaloof
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IB’s been financially subsidized for 72 years now.

Mitch, bitches lie. Misery loves company and they want you as miserable as they are.

I.H.
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Agreed 100% with Ton. Dump her as soon as you can. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Looking For Zion
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Always interesting when a troll shows up, especially one who seems to have Hysterical Personality Disorder (see: DSM 5). Mitch wasn’t saying he was using the green card to lord it over or control his wife. Hard to imagine him doing that either, considering how strong his beta tendencies are. His comment on the green card was clear to anyone not thinking with hysterical emotions. Maybe I shouldn’t comment and be seen as speaking for Mitch, but it was obvious to me that his point was that if his wife were a logical and rational being she would not risk… Read more »

rugby11
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“lashing out because he fears the totality of the truth that Red Pill awareness brings into his life.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfOrY7CidTA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2SskRLd4F4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG6C9JuB4YA

Mitch i hope you are thriving

insanitybytes22
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Listen Mitch, just go full blown red pill and lock the bitch in the basement. Abuse her all you want and invite your friends over too. She’s not a real human being anyway, she’s just a woman.

Heck you can even make videos and post it in Tomassi’s field reports.

newlyaloof
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newlyaloof
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Listen Mitch, just go full blown red pill and lock me in the basement. Abuse me all you want and invite your friends over too. I’m not a real human being anyway, I’m just a feminist troll.

Heck you can even make videos and post it on my blog that nobody reads.

Mitch
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Thanks Rollo. I didn’t enjoy being made an example of, but it definitely did get my attention. And your absolutely right about the reason for my resistance. I did not want to have to deal (and still don’t) with what that implies for my life. More accurately, I’m afraid. @insanity I’m sure you believe you know what the skinny is here with my situation , but you don’t have the foggiest idea what you’re talking about. What’s your story, btw? Are you by any chance a lesbian? Not that it matters, but I’ve noticed that lesbians generally do not get,… Read more »

CSI
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The same lesson would apply if Mitch’s girlfriend were an American woman closer to his own age. But it seems reading this blog the “burden of performance” necessary to keep a woman faithful is very high. Gaining a 100+ N count? Holding frame near-flawlessly each and every day? Perhaps spinning multiple plates? How many men are capable of this?

newlyaloof
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Man, that was fun. I’m out! Someone take over for me.

Mitch
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@Insanity:
Also, get the fuck out of here. This is male space and you are not welcome nor is your input needed. As you feminists insist on female-only space being respected, you have no basis to insist on your right to invade male space. Thank you for your consideration.

Anonymous
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Glad to hear Mitch is benefiting once again from RP. I’d like to share that as much as I like to consider myself RP aware, I still, unfortunately, find myself struggling at times stuck in the anger phase. It’s like I can’t fucken see pass the abyss and get pissed at myself for it. And although it’s not Rollo’s true sentiment to write the RM as a bible, I myself treat it as so because it keeps me sane when the village tries to blind me. Like Rollo said “The Rational Male is meant to be a kind of living… Read more »

dr zipper
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other than newly (lol), pls nobody wrestle with the troll pig, that’s all it wants: attention

Albert
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@CSI you are looking at it from a logical compartmentalized point of view. However, this is neglecting how you can master any task. “Mastering the burden of performance” is like learning how to write. In the beginning you have to learn; grammar, spelling and new words and your occupied by getting the basics right. Once you have proper grasp of writing you can then start to write essays, where you have to think of narrative structure, information flow and readability. Once you proceed to writing full books you do not consciously think about all these micro aspects (they are still… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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Two shades of purple? More like 50. Recomment from previous thread. I have reading to catch up on. Mitch So now I need to figure out what to do. FIrst off, good on you for returning. A lot of men would be too proud or afraid of criticism to do that. Second, welcome back. Don’t panic. Do. Not. Panic. Don’t get butthurt, either. If you want this thing to stay intact, panic and/or butthurt will not work. If you are going to send her back, that decision needs to be made in a calm mindset, so again panic / butthurt… Read more »

SFC Ton
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How many men are capable of this?

How many men were capable of being Spartan peer? Of crossing yhe Atlantic to chop out a new nation from a wilderness? Land on Omaha beach and make it across the kills zone?

Pretty much all

thedeti
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“yesterday the computer is open and I see a ‘Hi’ come across the screen from Skype from a male. Open the Skype window and she’s been chatting with this dude from New Hampshire or some shit, not long, but the kind of bare bones swapping of details – the guy’s on hunt for a wife, and she’s asking about the size of his town, and what’s the weather like, how many kids, etc.” Agree with Ton. You have seen only the tip of the iceberg. You also know only a smidgen of what they’ve been talking about. She’s probably been… Read more »

dr zipper
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triage, mitch…. is it save-able? I tried that, was succeeding, then somehow fumbled and failed; others have managed to turn things around (ehintellect, where’d you go?); since this is a marriage and not a free-will ltr, it’s trickier, but you have all the cards, fucking play them can’t remember the details, but I think Sentient went with the nuclear option…. if you fuck up bitch, my lawyer will be calling yours shortly (pls correct if need be); can’t be a threat that doesn’t or might happen, but something that IS happening right then and she had better find Jesus (again… Read more »

VicV
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VicV
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Be aware Mitch, that her next move is to file a violence against women action. Particularly should you move to withdraw the green card petition. She will claim you abused her and threatened to withdraw the petition when she objected. That will be the basis of the VAWA action. You are fucked already. There is little to gain except your dignity and self respect. Preserve that to the extent possible. And cash. You will be getting divorced. Let her go, without a fight or argument. No threats. She is looking for any reason to call the cops and begin to… Read more »

Flip
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This is easy. You file for divorce and find a woman young enough to have kids.

dr zipper
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thedeti is spot on; be sure to capture all the info about the FB accounts, take screenshots (w/ your camera if you have to), separate your money, hide some, etc.

the more ammo you have to prove that she’s using you to illegally enter the country under a sham marriage/false pretenses, uncle sam should end up doing most of the heavy lifting; any lawyers or guys w/ direct experience on these facets of protecting yourself? please add if you can

VicV
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I agree with thedeti. You do need to protect yourself and get legal advice immediately.

dr zipper
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set up hidden cams near the computer she uses, make sure it legibly shows the screen and her face/reactions/etc….. use a keylogger to allow you full access to everything

don’t let on that you know… this is your biggest ally to gathering intel and ammo for your own protection and use; by the time you tell her, it’s too late, and the ‘W’ in your column is for a win, not a woman

Blaximus
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@ Albert

Kudos. That breakdown was awesomely perfect.

scribblerg
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@SFC Ton – Dishing some serious truth. My only difference is that I wouldn’t kick her out. I’d tell her to go get an under 25yo hottie to bring in to bed with you if she wants that fucking green card. I’d just not come home a couple of nights here and there, take up a new habit/hobby/friend. As an aside this is important for your RP journey as it’s ultimately an inside job. The real place you want to get is that you don’t worry about her. Rather, you worry about you. That she’s the woman that keeps your… Read more »

Dizzle
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In my experience, VicV is not being sufficiently alarmist.

The fix is in, Mitch. Get out if you still can.

SFC Ton
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Oh yeah! Lawyer up
Put as many high caliber liars you can on retainer so she has to use second tier support

You can’t be underhanded enough during this but follow the law or they can extra fuck you

Anonymous Reader
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Albert
I have been thinking about this a lot recently, not necessarily within a blue pill/red pill dynamic but also extended to alt-right, alt-left, feminism and any other ideology.

The Red PIll is not an ideology. It is a praxology. The first step to wisdom is calling things by their right names.

Anonymous Reader
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bytes

I can’t tell you how astoundingly pathetic this all is.

Thanks for displaying the known female ingroup preference. It’s 4:1, for those who didn’t know.
Now run along, dearie, men are discussing a serious subject.

(Lurkers, notice that aging femiist Bites is taking the side of a woman who is clearly a borderline cheater already. That’s “ingroup preference” at work. In the workplace when women only hire other women to work in Human Resources that’s also ingroup preference. One small study found that women prefer to hire other women over men by a margin of 4 to 1.)

smartassrob
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Men are the real romantic gender, women enjoy the fruits of that pursuit, women are not “romantic” or at least not to the extent that men are. I think that romantic nature of men can make them ignore red pill truths, a man can also get caught up in a relationship, we are human after all, even if you know the sky is blue, the water is wet and that fire burns, sometimes you can get become so mesmerized by a beautiful woman that you will forget things you know, or maybe more appropriately ignore things you know to be… Read more »

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Bites
IB’s been happily married for 32 years now.

IB’s “husband”, aka the bad smell in the attic? Not so much.
Are you still hitting him from time to time, dearie? Because you know he won’t hit back?

Mitch
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Mitch
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Scribbs, you are a fucking asshole and I think I love you. Lol. I definitely remember you from last fall.

Lots of good insights and ideas. I can’t imagine being as ruthless as some of you badass fuckers. But I know I can be more solid, and make myself MPO. My head is spinning, and I’m going to take more time and assess the situation better and do what I can to protect myself before making any decisions. Not panic, as someone said.

SFC Ton
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Sadly Mitch you won’t listen to the men who have been through the grinder so you’ll learn to be ruthless the hard way

Look man, retarded simp that you are, we all want to see you avoid a metric shit ton of pain and loss but either way your fixing to get a lesson

stuffinbox
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@Mitch

You are a celebrity man,going to a foreign land picking and vetting the best catch,against all advice to the contrary you stubborn fuck. You coulda had a future in the concrete biz.

Insanity Bites husband is jealous,he is getting fucked way worse than you are.Scribs advice is good for a guy that is getting chumped,just don’t give her an excuse to fuck you over like bending over in front of her with your pants down.

Yollo Comanche
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@Rollo

“I think other Red Pill men should adopt the same spirit of welcoming a Blue/Purple Pill prodigal son back into the fold.”

I thought you said you weren’t a cult leader!

@Mitch

Glad to see you got your refund on those Dickbowl tickets.

William
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William
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“I can’t imagine being as ruthless as some of you badass fuckers” And he goes right back to the purple pill. Hey Mitch, be sure to let us know how that works out for ya. Good luck, man.

Mitch
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Ton, I understand and appreciate where you guys are coming from. It’s like watching a kid do something you know is stupid, and everything in your experience tells you that he’s setting himself up for a big colossal fall, and you like the kid and don’t want him to go through the pain and loss that you went through and so you do everything you can to steer him the way you think is right. I used to do that all the time to my little brother, but he never listened to me and he has what he has. But… Read more »

Ang Aamer
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Mitch, I have been there EXACTLY there. I too found a wife out in eastern area of Europe. I too began to get her a green card. And I too had the “innocent” young woman begin to prepare a plan B and a plan C, should I not get her that Green Card and ultimately citizenship in a timely manner. I stomped on that shit HARD. I printed out and recorded all the little flirtations. All the starts of “I might consider X, if it does not work out.” ALL OF IT, I threw it in her face and said… Read more »

BC
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clearly she thinks about it, and is willing to “play” with the idea, even at a time when she has sooo much to lose. I could withdraw my petition to get her a green card in two seconds, and she’s done…

So now I need to figure out what to do.

You answer your own question. You just don’t want to hear the answer yet.

SFC Ton
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If you can’t do ruthless do smart but when it comes to this shit they are one and the same

Sentient
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“can’t remember the details, but I think Sentient went with the nuclear option…. if you fuck up bitch, my lawyer will be calling yours shortly (pls correct if need be); ”

Doctor Zipper

No not I… Never did anything like this. Just dread and awesomeness and The Platinum Rule.

Sentient
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Mitch

“I don’t believe that pain and loss can be avoided in life, not really. That’s an illusion, like BP idealism is an illusion. Pain and loss is a fundamental part of being human.”

You are reciting The Chump’s Creed. Why? Do you feel noble? Better than others? What is the gain from this thinking?

Pain and loss are most often outcomes of bad decision making… And bad timing.

dr zipper
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dr zipper
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sent – my bad, not sure where I got it

Sentient
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Mitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdE-BZoB9SA

Or is losing the only time you feel “alive”?

Sentient
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Sentient
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“Us lemons, we fuck shit up all the time on purpose…”

ShanksNes
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@Mitch: Maybe stupid of me to interject here, cause i’m kinda half your age but here’s my take. 1. First assume that women are incapable of love and always want something from you. Do women in your life and what they’ve done make sense when you assume this? Try to parse all the women you’ve had in your life, and see if you can map a motive to each one of them. 2. Next, look at all women you fell in love with and see if you could have had a motive. Especially the desire for steady sex and simultaneous… Read more »

Sentient
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Sadly my sense is Mitch is just pulling an elaborate troll… he just doesn’t really know it yet.

Sentient
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VicV

remind me not to play poker with you… well done.

SJF
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Lots of disparate ideas going down. Welcome back Mitch. Thanks for moving more towards Red Pill. Hope you can make it through triage. Don’t you see how much clearer everything is with the new mostly red pill lenses? See how those Blue Pill ideas were clouding things. You can make your own decisions on how to proceed. You are a big boy. And even bigger with red pill lenses and lots more advice on how to be more aware. I don’t know your circumstances. Who you are under the hood in order to make any actionable recommendations. Except don’t be… Read more »

rugby11
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fleezer
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fleezer
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“about whether I was setting myself up for slaughter in marrying a Ukrainian I’d met online. I (basically) said I’m a big boy now at 50, and know what I’m doing with women”

this has to be a joke.

“She also genuinely likes me, and is very loving and affectionate and passionate in bed”

this too.

fucking love this place.

SJF
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“The fear of being alone forever. You will have to work on this one on your own. I have come to the conclusion that a man is always alone; If he isn’t he’s deluding himself in someway. I wish that you don’t reach the same conclusion, but I bet you will.” A man has to be comfortable being alone. That’s part of being good at being a man. And solidly Red Pill. Bonus Cut and Paste: The last chapter of Franco’s Manual of Seduction (context for Mitch): Quote: Being a husband and father “In order to be one day a… Read more »

fleezer
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“set up hidden cams near the computer she uses, make sure it legibly shows the screen and her face/reactions/etc….. use a keylogger to allow you full access to everything”

if you even have to think about doing this, you fucked up.

the second you start to mate guard is the second she took the frame. get a side piece instead and keep fucking both their brains out.

women have no power over a man with drained balls.

SJF
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“Sadly my sense is Mitch is just pulling an elaborate troll… he just doesn’t really know it yet.”

Wouldn’t be the first time nor the last time you see that happen. Softek and Hank Holliday, (no offense to them, they tried, they really tried, but come up short on resources and mindset), come to mind.

Water Cannon Boy
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On twitter I’m seeing more attempts to personally brand red pill with purple pill ideals as more women become aware of Rollo and others. A combination of the purple pill post and male spaces post.
It’s usually been prefaced with “A true alpha…” or “True red pill…”. But what follows is always a purple pill accommodation to women.

insanitybytes22
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“…..as more women become aware of Rollo and others….”

Trust me,nobody cares. Tomassi is old news.

Anonymous Reader
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Bites
Trust me,nobody cares.

But you can’t stay away, dearie, you just can’t stay away. You need this place.

dr zipper
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fleezer – mate guard? lol, not even close to what I meant… didn’t think it read that way, but let me re-state

mitch gathers this info as evidence, proof of her dalliances, something to show immigration or to whatever institution would find it in your favor

actually, my main point is to pretend nothing is wrong while gathering this evidence, then pull the rug out and come out smelling so purty

but if the evidence is used to negotiate her compliance, I can’t really recommend that

SJF
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“the second you start to mate guard is the second she took the frame” X10 Do not mate guard. That’s like saying the referees screwed us in the 1979 wrestling match. And the coach corrected us: “No you little high school fuckers–Life lesson: you guys didn’t wrestle good enough to beat your rivals without the refs having the opportunity to do that.” Good advice going forward. He only became a little more Accepting of Red Pill Yesterday. No time to retrench. Don’t get butt-hurt and whine. Don’t be afraid. Do what you have to do to achieve your goals, hopefully… Read more »

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