Divorce Incorporated

What I’m going to get into today is going to be kind of dark. I’m doing this not to exacerbate any guy’s negative feelings, but to shed some light on the reality of how divorce operates in the United States as well as many other western societies. A lot of guys tend to focus on the logistics, the laws, the process of how a divorce proceeds. Much of what I see coming from Men’s Rights advocates about divorce centers on the need for legal and institutional reform of the process in their misguided hopes of creating a more ‘equal’ state between men and women. From what I understand, MRA’s primary hope (for most every issue they address) is that this reform can come from a top-down approach – changing the system to be more fair – rather than confronting the fact that these laws, divorce and others, are manifestations of an endemic social dynamic that is based on a fundamentally unfair, unequal interrelation between the sexes.

What I’m going to focus on here is dissecting this process, but doing so from a Red Pill aware perspective. While it may be the purview of the MRM that this process is fundamentally corrupt and in need of reform (I agree), what they willingly ignore is the root level inequalities that are part of men and women’s evolved differences that are the source of this process. This isn’t meant to be some take-down of the MRM; I find their causes worthy enough, but I believe their approach to solving them to be fundamentally flawed due to a refusal to accept the core, evolved differences in men and women and a stubborn refusal to reject the ideals of egalitarian equalism that the feminism they claim to hate is ostensibly founded on.

This system is designed to create conflict, but that conflict is rooted in the presumption that men are always at fault in it. This is why there can never be an equalist solution to correcting the endemic problems of modern divorce procedures.

At present I have a personal friend I’m counseling who is in the opening phases of this process. He and his soon to be Ex are also in ‘marriage therapy’. First thing I ask, “is it a man or woman therapist?” He says woman. I say, you’re fucked; start planning your exit now.

He agrees, but still has that Blue Pill hope he’s not wasting his money (she’s a SAHM) and they’ll be able to negotiate some mutually amicable feigning of her desire for him. When we invest ourselves in something we’ve accepted is supposed to be effective we’ll hold on to hope that it will because there’s a part of us (especially in idealistic men) that doesn’t like to think we are able to be conned. This is a very well studied psych phenomenon. We convince ourselves that we ‘got something out of’ an experience regardless of it being a provably bad investment. We like to believe that in all labor there is profit, but reality shows us, quite often, that this simply isn’t true.

I gave him a list of things to keep in his head as he was going to these counseling sessions, but I also told him the truth that marriage counseling is almost always ‘last stop before toll’ and that he needs to be careful now because his wife will eagerly use this therapist’s testimony to destroy his character at a later date. That’s the profit model for therapists in divorce proceedings. They’re getting paid when you’re coming and going.

I told him she will turn into someone he never thought she could become and most of it will be at the prodding of their therapist and her attorney (who he’ll also be paying). It’s in all of their best interests that they create a monster of him. The male anger bias I write about here will be the primary basis for his character assassination.

Anything even remotely, positively masculine or Alpha is still a ‘man being a man’ and this can always be reinterpreted as potentially aggressive or violent. In a feminine-primary social order where feminized men and women are taught that men are inherently evil and prone to anger and violence (the “culture” of masculinity) there’s an army of women and White Knight sympathizing men who want nothing more than to stick it to the ‘man’ symbolically. And when they draw a paycheck from doing so they’re all the more eager. Add to this that they feel a sense of moral justification in “making the world a better place” by burning him in an effigy of all men and you get to where we are now. We presently live in a social order that presumes any masculinity is “toxic” or “hyper” masculinity. So disassociated from anything positive has society become with regard to conventional masculinity that just the term is now masculinity is a negative connotation.

Needless to say this will be the starting point from which a soon-to-be-divorced man will have his undoing begin. So prevalent is the presumption of abuse on a man’s part that even the most saintly father can be remade into a secret monster. It’s just ‘how guys are’ and this presumption also serves as a point of justification for women, and Blue Pill male sympathizers, to feel okay about pillorying him.

Yes, I understand that there is at least a reportedly higher incidence of men being the abuser in domestic cases, but we also have to understand that the definition of “abuse” has been rendered so ambiguous that most men don’t realize virtually anything they do in a domestic confrontation can fit the definition of “abuse”. Just raising one’s voice is enough to qualify as psychological abuse. Denying a woman access to money also fits a new definition of abuse. I once counseled a guy who had been taken to jail for snatching the car keys away from his drunk wife so as to prevent her from driving drunk. She called the police and, as you likely know, the man is always the party removed from the home by police. Snatching the keys was enough to qualify his removal. 5 months later he’s living with his parents (at 43) and paying rent on a home and car payments on a car only his now ex is allowed to occupy and drive.

I know how my friend’s story is going to end. I’m doing what I can to give him fair warning – it’d be better for him to completely pull up stakes and remove himself from the situation than stick around and ‘try to make it work’ because the longer he lingers the more ammunition she and the therapist potentially get. I think this is also the profit model; keep the Blue Pill chump husband around the house for as long as it takes to build him up as a stereotypical ‘man’ and then escalate the most marginal conflict as a ‘typical’ domestic violence incident and he’s gone. If you watch the above documentary on the divorce industry you’ll see how many lucrative profit opportunities there are at every stage of divorce; and there is no incentive to dissuade divorce profiteers from doing anything different. And, as I stated earlier, there are many ready-made social and moral conventions available to help them justify their profits.

Old Books and New Books

‘No one cares how mean your ex was, how unfair she was to you and so on … at the end of the day, the system can’t right wrongs, they only process your case’

The above and following  quote was from an article in the National Post, Family court advice for men, from one who’s made it through;

I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of notes; on a gender breakdown, probably 80 percent are from men, 20 percent from women.

I’ve heard from family court lawyers, some of whom are angry at my suggestions that fathers get the tough end of the stick in child custody cases (though the actual evidence is reasonably clear that they do), some of whom say “the whole system is B.S … one of the first things out of my mouth when I see someone is, ‘What’s your budget and how much does he/she dislike you?’” I’ve heard from judges and former judges and psychologists and counsellors.

Without exception, they agree that the system is beyond broken.

What we have, fundamentally, in the state of modern divorce is a conflict between old books social contracts serving as the ethical basis of a new books resource transfer from men to women (Thomas Ball even described it as such). Really this conflict is at the root of much of what Red Pill awareness (from the social perspective of intersexual dynamics) describes, but in this instance there’s an entire social complex that influences policy and profit. Judges, attorneys, psychologists and counselors all make a very good living from this fundamental conflict; and if you watch the Divorce Incorporated documentary I linked you’ll see that there’s no incentive to ever change that profitable conflict at any stage.

However, all of the people involved in even a typical western divorce are all subject to the belief sets that the Feminine Imperative has predisposed them to about men and women. We presume a default state of victimhood is to be applied to a woman and the benefit of that victimhood doubt runs deep. We see it evolve into the kangaroo court systems that govern what we’re told to believe is an endemic ‘rape culture’ on college campuses – up to and beyond denying a man his civil rights.

We’re taught that any slight appearance of abuse towards a woman is an opportunity to teach any man doing so a lesson, but should a man be the victim of the same abuse? Well, he probably had it coming. The Feminine Imperative has (and still is in some senses) prepared women and Blue Pill men to believe that women are untouchable; always to be believed, by default, in their victim status no matter the circumstance.

Now we can expand this presumption to every party involved in a divorce proceeding. We get female therapists whose livelihoods depend on following the victimhood of women and demonization of men (and masculinity) script the Feminine Imperative has laid out for them for most of their lives. We get Blue Pill Alphas eager to prove their authority by punishing any man who might remind them of their asshole fathers or who fits their idea of what the imperative has taught him is a “misogynist”. The imperative plays to the natural ‘protector’ impulse of these men. We get well-conditioned attorneys, counsellors and judges ready to follow that same script by legally enacting the retribution and restitution upon which feminism has always been based.

But underneath all of this we have the fundamental inequalities in ideology between what the old books social contract expects of men while the divorce industry enforces, almost unilaterally male, punishment based on a new books social paradigm to better empower women – presumably to right the past wrongs they believe were endemic in that old books paradigm. What we have today are new books divorce and marital laws based on those old books presumptions of men’s evils, indiscretions and addressing the toll it allegedly took on women. The result is a system that is designed to psychologically, financially and personally ruin any man whose idealism led him to believe that men and women share some mutually recognized concept of love; enough to compel him to a lifetime commitment in modern marriage. It is a system calculated to destroy the same Blue Pill conditioned men who will eagerly stand up to defend their ego-investments in it.

The common refrain to this is always “just don’t get married”, and it is precisely this system’s goal to disincentivize long term commitment between the sexes so that this response is the only logical one. Thus, we get women spending small fortunes to freeze their eggs in the hopes that one day some man will be foolishly idealistic enough to look past all the inherent life-threatening risks marriage and divorce uniquely disposes men to. Thus, we get old books moralists berating men for wanting to prolong their adolescence (never mind women doing so is considered empowerment) by avoiding the dangers of marriage that they’ve been smart enough to understand, or have been a party to in one way or another.

In my next essay I’ll be addressing the misguided opinion of some ‘stand up’ Purple Pill moralists that the Red Pill is “just for guys who are obsessed with sex and make getting laid their life’s mission”. I’ll elaborate on why this is simply a distraction from the much larger meta-scope of Red Pill awareness and intersexual dynamics. However, understanding how the divorce industry is based on the same dynamics the Red Pill has described for a decade and a half is a good illustration of why the Red Pill isn’t just about men basing their lives on getting laid. This system is fundamentally unegalitarian and unequal, and the designed imbalances are entirely founded in Red Pill intersexual principles. This is why the MRM will never be successful in their hopes of a top down institution of social change. The laws and the social imperatives that crush men are symptoms of a deeper problem that requires a bottom up changing of men’s minds about women and themselves.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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SFC Ton
5 years ago

My main point really is that there isn’t some approved universal Man List of Acceptable Activities That Qualify As Masculine
…………

You have to go to college of be into some hippie ass bullshit to be that fucking stupid.

Not only is that line bullshit at the micro level it is utter bullshit at the macro level becasue that is exctaly what every successful, growing and thriving tribe, people, nation, culture etc do. Over and over again for generations and when they stop doing that some other tribe who is doing that replaces them

SFC Ton
5 years ago

It’s interesting to watch two dudes from the 1st world bullshit about what a collapse will look like

dr zipper
dr zipper
5 years ago

ton – you check the link above from Anon01 about the bosnian war dude? seems legit but I’ve no real reference; just the first part when the dude is talking about his experiences, not the last part of the article, which sucked

Donegoner
Donegoner
5 years ago

SFC Ton said it best-

“If you want that bitch to stick around, fuck her so hard you break her mother fucking pussy. Then that raving bitch will follow you around like a lost puppy.”

That just about settles the matter.

dr zipper
dr zipper
5 years ago

then it’s settled: wood beats plastic

SFC Ton
5 years ago

I havent seen that one but there is a guy who speaks about his time there and if I recall, he seemed pretty legit but most places become Argentina, Mexico etc and not Bosina. War and economic shit storms aren’t the same thing though one causes the other pretty damn often

What will make America suck ass will be the diveristy. Every place I have been breaks down on ethnic/ racial lines. Even when they look so similar outsiders can’t really tell the difference

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“You have to go to college of be into some hippie ass bullshit to be that fucking stupid.”

Nah. These days all you have to do is watch television. I think I’ve got one in the basement somewhere, but I don’t believe it will receive anything.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

then it’s settled: wood beats plastic

But rock beats scissors.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

kfg
These days all you have to do is watch television.

Nobody under 40 watches that “television” thing. They are too busy binging on Netflix.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Nobody under 40 watches that “television” thing.”

Crossed with ASD’s comment that nobody fixes things these days, I know I’ve a got a compact, surround sound stereo in the basement that was so nearly new that I even snagged the remote and owner’s manual with it – on trash day.

A bad cap.

Since I can fix things I used to really like trash day. I can still get steel there, but nobody buys stereos any more. Trash is mostly just busted furniture that I would have considered busted when it was new in the box.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

” Since I can fix things I used to really like trash day. I can still get steel there, but nobody buys stereos any more. Trash is mostly just busted furniture that I would have considered busted when it was new in the box.” For a long while in my early teens, my close friends called me the Trash Man. I too used to raid the trash piles outside folks home, particularly on ” bulk day “. I always was on the lookout for Bike frames, televisions and any kind of stereo equipment. Eventually I got pretty good at bringing… Read more »

stuffinbox
5 years ago

” I can still get steel there, but nobody buys stereos any more. Trash is mostly just busted furniture that I would have considered busted when it was new in the box.”

Firewood is worth twice what steel is and both can be picked up of the ground for nothing,a man with game can get paid for removing both.At least for now,a reset to electric funds would hamper that action.

dr zipper
dr zipper
5 years ago

strange tangent that brings things back to vetting the woman…. one of the things I liked about my ex was her complicity in trash pickins and would even bring me stuff she’d seen and thought I’d like; see, it wasn’t all bad, gotta give her credit where due

fucking amazing what people throw out, a testament to our gluttony

stuffinbox
5 years ago

dumpster diving 101

The hands on course where you can learn what to salvage and how to make the most of it.

Classes start early and end late don’t miss free dinner at midnight mcdonalds daily at 12:30 am.

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“Remember when all the rage was ” Lacquered Furniture “?”

I’ve been doing a few pieces in an old Japanese style, I’m blanking on the name and ain’t gonna look it up. You lacquer it red, then black over it. As it wears the red starts to show through the black, each piece different from every other due its unique history.

I’m not sure why. I’m not likely to live that long.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Blaximus, New Jersey and New York have doubled and tripled down on stupid gun laws for years and years. There’s surely a lot of anti gun propaganda in the schools. Urban people learn from movies, not from reality. So those young men may have had all kinds of bizarre junk in their heads popping up to their amygdala just seeing that shotgun, never mind touching it / hearing it. Chalk it up to overcivilization. With regard to cars, a lot of hotrodding goes on now in the chips. You don’t change camshafts or ream out fuel jets, you change the… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
Not Born This Morning
5 years ago

A Woman in Florida bought him a new car. A woman in California bought him a motor home. Who knows who else bought him what else. As a newspaper article describing Leslie Gall’s cross country exploits aptly pointed out, it’s all in the name: Gall says it all. The “sweetheart swindler,” as one of his victims referred to him, made his way from widow to widow, bilking them out of all he needed and far more. They opened their hearts and their checkbooks to him. “With nerve, charm, and a suitcase full of false IDs, he allegedly stole tens of… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@Ton

War and economic shit storms aren’t the same thing though one causes the other pretty damn often

If you want to see what happens when a nation rejects science and technology, look at Cambodia under Pol Pot. Cambodia never was very techy, but it went from 3rd world to 17th century pretty damn quick.

@Blax

asd there was a time…. before plastics.
What do you have against wood, steel and glass?

For a society, going forwards in tech is easier than going backwards.

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ AR Man, I’m trying to stop boring the readers with my shit, he he he.. But thank you. I try to learn something new daily, so now after I type this I will look up Carrington Event because I’ve not heard of it before. You may have a point about guns. I never had a fear of guns, but I was exposed to them very early in life in the southland. It’s just really strange to see guys freak out over a shotgun blast when he can see the gun and tell that it’s not pointed anywhere in his… Read more »

rugby11
5 years ago

Lost patrol
Riding off with death… Fuck yeah…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGN0LuEXBYY

Embrace adventure…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0TalLrtZ24

Stop chasing my own tail…

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“For a society, going forwards in tech is easier than going backwards.”

This is true, and yet my desk is wood, my computer case is steel, my windows are glass, my coffee mug is clay, my clothes are twisted cotton fibers and it’s the plastic monitor screen that I consider a step back.

Newer does not imply better.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@kfg

Glad you have eliminated plastic from your life, lol.

For sure, food storage containers should be wood or glass.

Newer does not imply better.

I miss the olden days with witch doctors chanting and dancing. Nowadays you have to ingest poisons and get cut.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
5 years ago

Blaximus I’m torn about all of the electronic enhancement/management in newer cars. There’s two generations of that stuff now. First to meet air quality and CAFE requirements, all of it in the engine compartment and some of it in the transmission. Then the second generation is all about safety – the ABS brakes, the anti-skid system (can still turn that off in some cars), now the lane departure stuff, the “car too close” sensors. Autobraking is on the way, where the car decides that a panic stop is needed no matter what the driver wants. That should be fun. Or… Read more »

SFC Ton
5 years ago

My daughter use to date a guy who was a starter in the NFL. She dumped him for being a pussy saying she couldn’t marry a man she could out shoot though mostly it was an city vs country clash, with city dudes being the sort who maybe wouldn’t suck a dick but would probably hold one in their mouth until the swelling went down. This fag was upset when she served him country fired deer because so,e how eating game was dangerous. The underlying message is she was born an alpha widow. Me, her grandfathers, uncles, God fathers etc… Read more »

SFC Ton
5 years ago

Leslie Galls primary crime was being born male. Thousands of women do essentially the same to men as he did to women every day in America.
………

Legit

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

Anyone interested in Carrington Events and the like may want to check this website out and buy their USB stick and start printing off their library (or atleast keep it handy):

Survivor Library..Or How To Survive Without Modern Technology

http://www.survivorlibrary.com

Blax – I see what you’re saying and I agree with 90% plus of it. It’s just the prescriptive activity list that we appear to disagree on.

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[…] The Rational Male’s “Divorce Incoporated” […]

higherIQthanu
higherIQthanu
5 years ago

LOL!! Great piece Rollo. Now, with all due respect, please remind us again why getting married is preferable to “shacking up”? (This should be good…)

rugby11
5 years ago
NuDiam0ndz
NuDiam0ndz
5 years ago

This article and the insightful comments are why I continue to frequent this site despite some of the bigots and nazis (e.g. Novaseeker) that spread their vile hate on here. I’m going through the same process now, and someone else said it well. There is no winning, just minimizing losses. This process will test the outer limits of your patience and sanity. It’s true though that you will always as a man win the post divorce assuming your don’t swallow a bullet. It’s also true that as much as your noble mind will try to do what’s best for both… Read more »

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Novaseeker is well thought of here…you aren’t.

O.B.I.T.
O.B.I.T.
5 years ago

This has been one of TRM’s most harrowing, compelling comment sections. If I’ve done one thing right it’s been to maintain a solid 30-year LTR and avoid legally tying the knot (despite some pressure at times). But my parents divorced when I was 6 and based on the comments here I can only imagine what my dad went through (Even though he was a dynamic, successful guy and would not ask any pity). Then 25 years later he came back for more punishment — a second marriage and a second divorce (at least without the grave financial shakedown of the… Read more »

Morpheus
5 years ago

I told him she will turn into someone he never thought she could become and most of it will be at the prodding of their therapist and her attorney (who he’ll also be paying). It’s in all of their best interests that they create a monster of him. The male anger bias I write about here will be the primary basis for his character assassination. Yup. This! I’m reminded of Roissy’s maxim When the love is gone, women can be as cold as if they had never known you. My wife left me in mid April and filed for divorce.… Read more »

Morpheus
5 years ago

So my question is, if you have had your heart broken and your pocket picked once, why come back for more — it seemed like a lot of guys in this thread were in or nearing their second breakup. Marriage is a shaky proposition once, so why push your luck with a second try? Ha. The triumph of hope over experience I’d say. In my case, I really thought my second wife was someone committed to seeing things through, but I was obviously wrong. There won’t be a third. At this point, I’m old enough where having kids is almost… Read more »

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