The Utility of Beta Men – Part I

This week my fellow 21 Convention speaker and good friend Goldmund posted a very poignant essay about his experience stealing a girl away from her Blue Pill orbiter for a same night lay. I’ll paraphrase a bit of it here as I riff on it, but do click over to his blog and read the entire exchange.

Before I do though, let me first begin by stating that I have been the Blue Pill orbiter Goldmund describes here. I think too many readers seem to think I write from some position of Alpha authority; as if I’ve always been the lesser Alpha I am today. I’m sorry if this disillusions anyone, but I’ve run the gamut from being a well-conditioned Blue Pill Beta, to being a verified-by-social proof rock star Alpha, to dropping almost into an Omega status with a BPD girlfriend, to maturing into a Red Pill aware, lesser Alpha I would humbly think of myself as today.

A lot of critics, and even a handful of Red Pill men I know, have a real tough time with what they believe are arbitrary terms – Alpha, Beta, Omega, Blue/Red Pill, etc. – but let me reiterate here that these terms have always been abstracts. They are placeholder words for larger ideas, not binary definitions. A lot of critics also, erroneously, believe that Blue Pill, Beta, Omega, White Knight, etc. are some dismissive insult to end a conversation with, rather than, again, the abstract terms used to describe a man’s condition. I’ve made it clear in prior posts that being Beta or Blue Pill isn’t a life sentence, and neither should it merit our scorn beyond the ignorance that man happens to be a subject of.

I’m prefacing this here because sometimes it’s hard to look at ourselves, or our past selves, from the perspective of a guy who is enduring the same Blue Pill conditioned delusions we had. The Blue Pill orbiter’s role in Goldmund’s story here is a guy I’m sure most Red Pill men can somewhat empathize (if not sympathize) with because they were this guy also. They made the same decisions based on the same foolish Blue Pill preconceptions about women, and due to the same ignorance and lack of any Red Pill awareness we once had. So in this respect, try to understand the following from an objective perspective of what it was like to be that ‘hopeless Blue Pill orbiter’ basing decisions on old books social understanding.

To outline the story briefly, Goldmund was invited to socialize with a friend and what he’d thought was a couple; a nice looking 23 year old woman and her dutiful Beta ‘pseudo-husband’ (edited for content):

It was Sunday evening, the weather was pleasant, and being around a group of great guys who were eager to learn had me in extra fine spirits. A text came in from a friend who said he was hosting some people from out of town and wanted me to join them all for dinner. I met them at a restaurant and sat down to eat.

At first I thought the two attractive people he was hosting were a couple. They were both from Australia and sitting next to each other at the table. I noticed that the guy was catering to the girl, not standing his ground in conversation, and ended up paying for her.

After dinner we all went to a bar where a band was playing, the girl came over to me and we started to chat. I immediately asked her “so, is that your husband?” and she responded with “oh, no, he’s just a friend” and gave a hungry ‘save me’ look.

[…] The Australian guy stood next to the girl while I walked closer to the front, and after the first song, I looked back and waved her over. She came right away and the guy glared at me like I was Satan.

She stood right in front of me and began dancing a little. While I rubbed my crotch on her wiggling ass, my hands went to her hips, then felt up her flat stomach before caressing her big boobs.

I said into her ear, “I’m going to take you on a date right now” and she looked back and smiled.

At this point you can probably see where this is going. One thing I think is very important to point out here is that Beta male orbiters of most stripes can simultaneously end up being their own worst enemies while reinforcing the Alpha impression of his sexual competitors. In most cases, that orbiter’s status is set in woman’s hindbrain and as such any other man’s status whom she happens to encounter is measured against his. Game savvy men should (usually do) know that Beta orbiters are an opportunity to establish an implied social proof. Orbiters actually strengthen your Game and SMV because of his baseline status and subconscious comparing of Hypergamous options.

Women want men who other men want to be and other women want to fuck. Whether it’s actually true or not, to a woman’s mind, her impression of your orbiter’s status means you are a man who wants to be like the competing Alpha – the guy who she and other women want to fuck.

In most instances there’s no real reason to AMOG an orbiter. We’ll get to this in a bit, but understand now that most orbiters are unwitting volunteers in aiding a Red Pill, Game aware, man boost his signal, so to speak, by complaining, doubting and criticizing the efficacy (or ethics) of it. In doing so, his less (or non) competitive status is also reinforced with every positive response a woman returns for that Red Pill awareness.

Remember, stay objective here, focus on what’s transpiring and why it’s working. Whether you’re the Blue Pill orbiter or the Red Pill seducer in a scenario like this, the real education comes from observing the process.

Goldmund continues:

We went to the back of the venue, and my friend came up to me and said “hey man, listen, that guy is really upset that you are hitting on the girl”.

“Well she surely isn’t going to fuck him, they aren’t together”

“Yeah, but he paid for her to come out to New York [from Australia], and last night, he told her that he loved her”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

While this conversation was going on, the guy went up to the girl and begged her not to leave with me. At this point, I despised him, especially after my friend informed me that he had referred to me as ‘a creepy predator’, and wanted to teach him a lesson that stung. Especially since he was taller, better looking, and much more arrogant than me.

Right about here you’ll probably have a real tough time with the ethics of this scenario, but lets run down a few of the facts we know at this stage. First, ‘Pseudo-Husband’ is now the kind of Beta who pays for non-interested, or semi-interested women to go on international trips with him. This in itself is material for an entire post, but any Red Pill aware guy knows the mindset of the Beta sexual resource exchange – also known as the Savior Schema.

Just as an aside, I think this schema becomes all the more interesting when you account for the Sugar Babies companionship/sex dynamic going on today. It might be easy to think a Sugar Daddy paying for a woman’s exclusive attention would simply vote that girl off the island by closing his wallet, but when you mix pride, alcohol, Beta Game and expectation-but-not-expectation of sex with a Sugar Baby, well, that can make for a very volatile outcome. There’s a certain expectation of ROI when you pay for a woman’s international vacation.

Obviously Goldmund’s approach shifts at this stage, but, being the seasoned seduction artist he is, he has more than enough intel on the guy and IOIs from the girl to get the lay. At this point I expect Goldmund made it personal, but we’ll discuss this towards the end.

‘Pseudo-Husband’s’ impression of Goldmund as “creepy predator” is another tell as to his Blue Pill conditioned mindset. “Creepy predator” is fem-speak. It’s what I expect to hear come from a woman’s mouth, but when it comes from a man it’s a giveaway as to his conditioning; in this case feminine-primary.

As I’d rather not copy and paste all of Goldmund’s story here, I’ll ask that you read the sexual details on his site. Suffice it to say Goldmund expertly Games this woman and has quick-hit sex with her at the venue they were at. However, to continue with the analysis of this girl’s orbiter, let’s skip ahead to some select quotes:

Her face was red and we had been gone for about 20 minutes, so when we returned to the table, I’m 100% sure that everyone knew what just went down. The guy didn’t say a word while the rest of us chatted about sex over drinks, and when I got up to go home, he didn’t say goodbye. As I was leaving I told my friend to mention The Rational Male to him.

Major lessons found in this one, and they are so clear because a few years ago, I could picture myself being in the loser’s situation (I wouldn’t go so far as to pay for a chick to fly across the world, but I’ve done some extremely pathetic things in attempts to woo girls).

Game taught me that girls are incredibly sexual creatures, love being dirty, think about sex often, need it, and want to get fucked by men who are wild.

I’m sure the Australian guy never thought the girl was capable of having sex in a bar bathroom by a stranger, yet it happened right under his nose. Its hard to think of a bigger example of getting friend-zoned than this guy who had spent 1000s of dollars on the girl to confess his ‘love’ for her, only to be cucked by some Playboy she just met.

I think this is one of the hardest lessons a Blue Pill man has to learn before he understands the importance of being Red Pill aware. Most ‘Nice Guy’ orbiters/friends never really need to be AMOG’d by a sexual rival because they’re ignorant of the nature of Hypergamy. Even the ones who’ve experienced it personally from a woman, or having it flaunted in their face via commercial Open Hypergamy, these men still want their dream girl to somehow be different. Many a White Knight has been knocked from his horse after having the truth of women’s sexual natures viscerally illustrated for him. It’s the guys who go into denial, who fall back on the “Quality Woman” rationale and get back on the white horse who are truly lost.

I’ve been friend-zoned before and remember it being some of the most frustrating, mentally clouding times of my life. This guy was seething with anger so bad, he couldn’t even speak–or attempt to fight. The friend-zone is anguishing. Overcoming it happened when I started reading stories like the one above, started assuming every girl has slutty tendencies and will use weak guys for money, attention, gifts, or whatever it is that they are lacking.

Having your Blue Pill ego-investments dispelled in such a brutal fashion often leads to two types of misdirected anger: anger at the sexual rival who just schooled you in the most personal way about women’s Hypergamous sexual natures, and anger with a woman (or women) who are simply incapable of appreciating, or abiding, by the old social contracts, the old books he believes they ought to be.

This anger is not so much about a loss of investment as it is about a Blue Pill man having his inner world destroyed by outer world facts.

There was a point in my own life when I was something very similar to the Australian guy. I’m glad Goldmund mentioned my site and books to this guy’s friend because I’m still hopeful for men like this. I’ve had a few men in my Red Pill sphere tell me I ought not to care about men who don’t want, or don’t know how, to intrasexually compete; either due to their arrogance or ignorance. But that’s not what my goal is. While I understand that sometimes it’s necessary to Ghost on men at times, that’s never going to be my first impulse.

If the dude was cool about the situation and humble enough to talk to me like an adult about it, I would have gladly given him some advice and probably just got the girls number at some point and arranged to meet her privately.

Ego is the reason most people stay bluepill, you have to be honest with yourself and admit when something is wrong. And then find ways to fix it.

Hypergamy and Evolution want Hoes Before Bros

I understand Goldmund’s sentiment here. About 9 months, maybe a year ago I ran a Twitter poll asking whether it should be considered a Red Pill aware man’s duty to educate Beta men about their Blue Pill beliefs and why it’s the source of a lot of their troubles. For the most part, the consensus was that men should help other guys. That’s encouraging, but it’s also not always advisable. I find it fascinating that despite all of the attraction and arousal Red Pill aware men can knowingly generate in women with Dark Triad personality traits, they still believe they can compartmentalize those traits when it comes to helping their fellow man.

Should Goldmund have backed off this girl out of respect for a man who was obviously trapped in a Blue Pill negative feedback loop with her? Or did he do both him and her a favor?

I’ve personally had one of my best friends bang a girl I was locked in the friendzone with. This was a girl I’d tried for months to get her to sexually respond to my pathetically Blue Pill “I really care” Beta Game. I vividly remember (I was 19) the night I introduced him to her and so began a literal fuck-fest between the two of them that lasted about 2 months after only meeting for an hour that night. It was a hard kick in the teeth to take, one my friend and the girl showed absolutely no remorse or regret for, but it taught me a very valuable lesson. All the bullshit about “bros before hoes” all the idealistic pretty Blue Pill lies I believed about being friends and comfort first before sex went right out the window that week – where they belonged.

Personally it was hard to take, but objectively it was exactly what I needed to experience. I think this is a hard line for even a lot of Red Pill men to really cross today. Granted, I expect Goldmund was really into banging this girl that night more than he wanted to teach this guy some object lesson, but I think it’s going to be a really difficult area for Red Pill guys to sort out for themselves when it comes to “helping” Blue Pill guys unplug.

I’m reminded of the story about the guy who taped the note about banging another guy’s girlfriend under the toilet seat.

What is a Red Pill aware man’s ethical responsibility to Blue Pill men?


This is a two-part series of posts. In the next post I’ll consider how Red Pill men might deal with Blue Pill men in non-sexually competitive situations, and the advantages and dangers you might encounter.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

1,119 comments on “The Utility of Beta Men – Part I

  1. @John the Miner: “The host was the “mastermind”.
    He knew the Aussie flew the girl here. Knew the Aussie told the girl “he loved her”. So the host invites his friend, the “god king” of players, to join himself, the Aussie, and the Aussie’s pedestal princess for dinner.”

    I don’t think so, because in a follow up post Goldmund stated that the host was upset and that he may not invite Goldmund for any future events. If the host is upset, I bet it is not because Goldmund nailed the feral, its because Goldmund got to her before him.

  2. “Then, Blaximus made the comment that a sexually satisfied woman doesn’t cheat. OK, that’s pure bullshit. Women do what they want based on their feelings. I expect this kind of remark from young inexperienced guys who still believe that you can fuck a woman into submission. I remember some guy touting sex god method or some such program.

    You can’t control the woman. To a certain degree, you cannot control how you feel about the woman.”

    Blax wrote:

    “A sexually and emotionally satisfied woman is as capable of cheating as any other woman, but usually will not. Problem is most men don’t know what it takes, or what it means to have a woman in this state. I still see this quite routinely, and my conclusion that it will never change.”

    ——

    I’m with Blax, and life experience.

    It’s not just about banging her into submission. If the sex is consistently sizzling hot over a period of time you’re doing something right. Highly enjoyable hot sex over a period of time indicates you’ve connected to her emotional feelz. A ONS or the bathroom fuck now and then might satisfy on a more physical level, but less emotional level. Or perhaps the emotions she experiences are somewhat different in a bathroom, backseat of her minivan etc… with the risk, fear of being caught, danger and all that. Those scenarios are one-offs that could result from ovulation coupled with your game etc…. If you’re really nailing her well and she is getting off you’ve reduced the chances she might cheat. You are never going to have any guarantee. As SJF has told me, it’s all about motive and opportunity. If you reduce her motive when the opportunity arises the chances she cheats are less…or so you hope. If she is into you and you’re a halfway decent cock smith she should be satisfied to some degree that she isn’t working/seeking at mating with others. If she consistently does not orgasm something is wrong. If she is having multiple orgasms and you know she is not faking bonus points!

    Leave her sated, drenched in sweat, dripping etc…At the very least, if you’re in a LTR you should know your woman’s cycle. If you don’t then you’re not paying attention. But with no emotional feelz (and less powerful orgasms) she might leave well fucked, but not all dreamy and maybe even less Oxytocin flooding her brain.

    A buddy of mine was in luurrv with this hot chick we worked with. He always told me how the sex was very hot and spontaneous, but always quick and she never once in their months of dating ever had one orgasm. I believe she was not orgasming because my buddy made no good emotional connection AND she was mental. He was also very beta and drenched in blue. Once at a sales meeting I attended, her and I had to partner up to pretend sell a product and create a sales program. She quickly chose sex toys as our product line and went on to describe to me quietly all the benefits of what she had in her bedroom. The entire thing was hilarious and we did a great job. Lots of sexual tension and it was becoming very clear that there was a Nooner opportunity. BUT….based on what my buddy told me and my own observations, this chick was batshit crazy. Had been through 4 marriages, lots of insane drama and she would pull my buddy into because even after they broke up he still luvvvrr’d her soooo much and needed her juicy pussy. I saw trouble and drama, which I did not want at work. My friend embarrassed himself at work with his oneitis for her. Not quite sure I would use the whore label, but borderline crazy as fuck, hell yes.

    A chick like that you could fuck into submission and you would still have a high risk for her to go (continue) feral. The real whores with no boundaries are mental, Rollo has one or two posts are women with BPD.

  3. @Incubus_Rising

    “I don’t think so, because in a follow up post Goldmund stated that the host was upset and that he may not invite Goldmund for any future events. If the host is upset, I bet it is not because Goldmund nailed the feral, its because Goldmund got to her before him.”

    If the girl was the goal, why invite a superior player?

    As for the host being upset with Goldmund, I think that’s because the host is either truly machiavellian and is done withe Goldmund. Or more likely he’s getting shit form the Aussie for inviting the guy who cucked him and from the girl ’cause Goldmund showed the Aussie what she really is. Gotta protect that beta meal ticket. So the host throws Goldmund under the bus.

    But I may have it all wrong. I’m still learning.

    I just discovered this place about a month and a half ago.

  4. @Roused

    Hot sex is optional for submission. Hot sex is fun and can stimulate a girl’s emotions, but there are other ways to stimulate a girl’s emotions besides sex. Playing with a girl’s emotions make submission easier for a girl.

  5. When the subject of ” deep conversion ” was approached here a while back, it was roundly laughed at and rejected right off the bat. The discussion fizzled in short order.

    The fact that grown, sexually active men had no idea or interest only buttresses my point.

  6. “) the visible sexual release after each encounter – babygirl fell asleep hard after.”

    Male induced orgasm is the only thing that pauses the hamster wheel. THAT is the payoff…

  7. @asdgamer
    Bill Clinton fucking Monica does not represent a very high level of social order. Fucking five a day certainly does not! You were saying something about alphas and social order?

  8. @John the Miner: At this point there is a lot of speculation as to what or how things went done in this situation. But it has been a good analysis of the Alpha / Beta mind set using this example.

    “I just discovered this place about a month and a half ago.” Welcome to this blog. I have been here for a little over a year only. I was a lurker so far, but this post pushed a lot of buttons and had to jump in and I leant a lot, especially in the comments section.

  9. @IR
    i am curious, what have you learned?

    No sarcasm or anything intended, legit question, just curious.

  10. Male induced orgasm is the only thing that pauses the hamster wheel. THAT is the payoff…

    yep, test it…watch girls if you want to stop before you O…the hamster will turn feet up

    @cheupez

    Bill Clinton is likely a psychopath…I’ll give you that one even though he’s also an alpha leader…now as to the rest…

  11. Mrs. Gamer passed by me on the PC…asked if I was watching my pr0n yet…I said that it was on my todo list…amused mastery look…she only had a lame comeback…shit test smashed again

  12. *Edit:

    @Agent P: I learnt that I am not Jesus and helping people attain salvation is not in my job description.

  13. @theasdgamer: No, I am not Hispanic. Just a guy who realised he still has some “buffering” going on in the sub conscience. Some of it has been eliminated in the last 5 days since this post began.

  14. @ASD

    Good point about submission. I overlooked that and you’re right, sex is just one aspect to it.

    @Blax
    Thanks for the reference, will make for good weekend reading material.

  15. @IR
    That’s a good thing to learn. Certainly took me a while to learn that one, in many different contexts.

    I am glad to see the evolution.

  16. “human wiring remains constant…biological desires remain constant”

    Biology is constant and humans are biologically adapted to be social animals. They don’t just consume, reproduce, and poo. They: collaborate. They’re tribal. Collaboration requires some basis in trust. When people speak of the fall of civilization what they are really speaking about is the fall of a larger functioning tribe into smaller tribes.

  17. @anon

    When people speak of the fall of civilization what they are really speaking about is the fall of a larger functioning tribe into smaller tribes.

    see, I don’t think that this is how stuff works…civilization is a whole nother animal than an agglomeration of tribes of 50-75 people…it’s not just scaling…the family doesn’t change inherently, tho civ can have a major impact on family, but church, govt., jobs, culture, etc. all come into play…essentially you rely on laws to cause certain effects to happen to modify human behavior…in driving, you are best off driving defensively and watching out for people who don’t follow the law…distrust is the best policy for driving, bank statements, tax statements, stuff you wanna buy, etc….laws are passed because people misbehave and police are around because people cannot be trusted to keep the law…distrust is the basis of civilization

  18. “They don’t just consume, reproduce, and poo.”

    Now wait a minute; I have an Economics 101 text book here and it says . . .

    “Collaboration requires some basis in trust.”

    Bearing in mind that the trust group and the trust metric is rather different for men and women.

    “When people speak of the fall of civilization what they are really speaking about is the fall of a larger functioning tribe into smaller tribes.”

    For my part I would be talking about something far more fundamental than that. The Classical Greek city states were fully civilized. The Czech Republic and Slovakia are just as civilized as was Czechoslovakia, and their separation into two smaller tribes allows them, in many ways, to be more civil in their behavior.

  19. “Bearing in mind that the trust group and the trust metric is rather different for men and women.”
    True.

    “For my part I would be talking about something far more fundamental than that. The Classical Greek city states were fully civilized. The Czech Republic and Slovakia are just as civilized as was Czechoslovakia, and their separation into two smaller tribes allows them, in many ways, to be more civil in their behavior.”

    True. Smaller doesn’t ipso facto mean less functional or cohesive.
    It might even be the opposite case (if it weren’t the collapse likely wouldn’t have occurred).

  20. i don’t know much about Czechoslovakia, but if it was like Yugoslavia that would be a good example of different value systems clashing (the anti-collaboration/anti-trust formula). They were already different tribes, forced together. If it were true that distrust is a sound basis for civilization, it would’ve been a winning formula.

  21. lol I can promise you every nation falls apart along ethnic and tribal lines

    That ain’t speculation but based on a life time down range in various failed nation states

  22. “Smaller doesn’t ipso facto mean less functional or cohesive”

    Such as Switzerland… But that time is soon passing.

  23. @ Blaximus
    Thank you for your polite response, and I appreciate it. Yes one can get arrested for having sex in a public bathroom and for having sex inside a car in a public place. I remember a clerk telling me that two gay men having sex inside a Border’s book store were arrested by Chicago police over 20 years ago. I also remember seeing a Cook Country, Illinois Sheriff arrest a man an woman having sex inside a parked car over 30 years ago in a parking lot. Since you asked whether it is more harmful to civilization to murder in a public bathroom or to have sex in a public bathroom, what is more harmful to civilization-to have sex in a public bathroom or to throw toilet paper on the floor of a public bathroom?,

  24. @ SJF
    Let us suppose for the sake of argument that Aussie man is reading this article and all the comments now and he is looking for what to do now. That was a nice thinly veiled insult about me giving Kid Jupiter blue pilled Average Frustrated Chump support. So would you if in Aussie man’s shoes let Aussie woman stay in your home, keep her return air line ticket, and say nothing about Aussie woman having sex with Goldmund in a public bathroom and take her to the Airport in blue pill AFC Cucked White Knight Mangina sense of obligation to not take vengeance or retalliation on her? in most cases, it would be stupid to take vengeance or retaliate because the cost to oneself would be too great and is a waste of time, but not in this one.

    The least the Aussie man should do is take her to the airport and tell her that our friendship is finished and that he never wants to see her again. He should tell her to shut her mouth and never give him grief or he will tell everyone what a slut she was by fucking a complete stranger named Goldmund in a public bathroom. He should also tell her that he does not like to be wronged the way he was. Then he should learn GAME from this site and other sites etc. This was more likely to have worked 20 to 30 years ago as people had a little more sense of shame and would shut their mouths especially a woman like Aussie woman who did this.

    The most Alpha response would be to cancel her return ticket, tell her to leave his home now without explanation, He should only say get out of my home and nothing else. Then he should tell everyone back home in Austrailia what she did. This demonstrates that when able he can act ruthlessly when wronged and lets every woman in his future know he knows how and is not afraid to use DREAD GAME. This is the action he should probably take.

  25. @ Blaximus
    Please read my response to SJF above. In most cases it would be best to do something right away. This one case between the Aussie Woman and the Aussie man is not one of them because he can probably retaliate or take vengeance at little to no cost to himself. Most people think of retaliate and take vengeance as the same, and if there is a difference, I did not look either word up in the dictionary for decades as I have little time and am acting like most people would for now. I probably will look at the dictionary later.

  26. It’s not important what he did to the Aussie woman. Your proposed Alpha retaliation would be nothing more than Butt-Hurt Beta retaliation.

    It is important going forward what he does to remediate his lack of having the Aussie girl want to fuck him.

    I recall a couple events I had back 34 years ago.

    Event #1: Back in college I didn’t have the highest social or emotional intelligence. I did have my shit together, but wasn’t out-competing other guys for girls. We were on a campus of 25% women (half of which were fat or unattractive) and 75% men (90% of which were smart, attractive and had top 20% pareto virtues).

    One night, I was in bed in my dorm when my two roommates returned from partying. They thought I was asleep, but was wide awake feigning sleep. One of them commented “That SJF, he’s never going to make it, he’s so fucked socially.” The other concurred.

    Event # 2: After college I applied to medical school, and was accepted on a rolling acceptance waiting list. The college I went to was exceptional and hard. I learned how to learn very well. Although I didn’t have a decent grade point average to show for it. I didn’t get taken off the waiting list. And had to sit out a year, applied for early admission and was in the following year. At med school I was a rock star. Barely ever dipping below honors level, because of my ability and the weak pool of students.

    What I took home from both events was: I’m never going to let that ever fucking happen to me in my life going forward. I just didn’t like the feeling. I can’t recall significant stumbling blocks in my life thereafter, even though I had a thousand hurdles to surmount. I surmounted them with a desire to do my best, not to whine, complain or get back at someone that stood in my way (other than to have my success be the best revenge on them).

    It has nothing to do with vengeance for the sake of retribution. That’s Gamma behavior.

  27. @ doc

    Personally, I am of the mind that any vengeance or retaliation from the Aussie boy would’ve only cemented his stellar bitch like status. He made a really ill planned gamble and he lost.

    The chick owed him nothing. Full stop. There is no negotiated desire. There is no owed sex. He has no real recourse for his hurt feelings. He lost.

    It’s okay.

    I mean, he can try shaming or something, but grown ass men with a modicum of testosterone flowing through their bodies should never stoop to this form of feminine behavior. He could cancel her plane ticket… I guess that’s an option. Or he could take the fucking loss.

    Part of being a man is learning how to win, as well as how to lose. If this guy is really the marshmallow that his actions point to, then he’ll regret any serious retaliation or vengeful action – unless he has multiple personalities or something. He ain’t built that way.

    I have a little empathy for Aussie boy, sure. But it’s damn near microscopic. Life is supposed to automatically come with degrees of difficulty. Most of us learn by doing, and sometimes fucking up. Aussie isn’t special. The world owes him bupkiss. His best option was to go see some sights, catch a Broadway show, buy some souvenirs and shit, then get on the plane and go back to Australia.

    That’s what I’d tell him. He’d already fucked himself when he bought the plane ticket. There was no ” helping ” him beyond that point.

  28. “The most Alpha response would be . . .”

    . . . to forget her when he left Australia, having already told her, “See ya, Toots.” Otherwise, impossible. He had already completely given away his frame and established himself as a doormat.

    You just can’t go “chode, chode, chode, chode, ALPHA BITCH!” It doesn’t work like that. That’s just hurt and angry doormat.

    Should he withdraw from her? Of course. He should have done so years ago, the first time she treated him like a schlub, when it might have actually been an Alpha move in his frame rather than hers.

  29. “Part of being a man is learning how to win, as well as how to lose.”

    https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-6/#comment-187294

    We had an epic varsity wrestling meet against our prime rival back in 1979. Two premier all boys Catholic schools. The Jesuits against the Franciscans. It went back and forth and we lost by a few points. Our team members grumbled in the locker room afterwards about how we got screwed by the referee’s on a few points and should have won. Our coach taught us and epic lesson on that. I believe he swore a bit as he spit out that: “The referees didn’t screw anyone. You guys didn’t wrestle well enough to overcome those few points decided by the referees. Next time, be so good that those points out of your hands don’t matter.”

  30. No telling what an alpha would do. He would probably be laughing his ass off and would probably just walk up to the bitch and Gm on the dance floor the moment he grabs her petite derriere and tell her that the way it appears she needs a change of shoes because he can see a few drops of pussy juice oozing down her legs into her shoes. Then walk away, grab a beer and check out the nearest escort online and book her ass, in a big city that should take less than 20 min. Get a refund on the remaining days and move to the next hotel or just check out to the next room or just stay same room but have her stuff moved to the reception for her to pick. Fuck like a champion for the rest of the holiday and go back home alone. He would probably maintain strategic contact with the chick for one more rude fuck in the ass then ditch her.

  31. If it were to get the Aussie man anything to throw it in the face of the Aussie Girl, he should. But it is not going to get him anything. So he should pass on the vengeance.

    What does he get by throwing a temper tantrum? There were no borders to enforce because he didn’t ever bring her in to his border.

  32. I’m not clear on this yet.

    Aussie guy shouldn’t “do” anything in the aftermath.

    If it his return flight to cancel, he shouldn’t, even if he could get a partial refund.

    He shouldn’t pitch Aussie slut out from his lodgings… if not, should he allow her to bring back Goldmund or other guys back to bang? If so, should he make himself graciously absent whilst she does? Should he ask her to change her own cum and shit stained sheets, or should he? If him, should he smile instead of scowling whilst doing so?

    Just wondering. If he acts too rashly, she might pitch him out from the friend zone to which she banished him.

  33. Aussie guy should have rolled out all nonchalant, gone back and banged all her hot friends, plus maybe her mom and younger sister

    Any sign of what she did bothered him would reduce Aussie guys standing even further, so changing rooms, shit canning her ticket etc should be done with a shit eating grin on his face

  34. The “solution” for lost honor is death –
    either your’s, her’s, her family’s or in some cases all of the above.

    Not a good solution.

  35. @ Sentinet
    Act as if Aussie man is reading this now and is looking for suggestions for what to do next. If you have a better idea then any of the two I stated above then write it on this blog’s comments section in this article. I have more ideas of what he could do in between the two suggestions I wrote above but have not written them. I regard doing nothing and remaining friends with Aussie women as a cuck stain move. I regard saying and doing nothing while giving her the silent treatment and not being her friend anymore as a hardly better cuck stain move than what I stated in the previous sentence. Every plan of action I can think of. has its positives and negatives. I refuse to call SJF a cuck stain as long as he remains polite even though I regard his idea of saying and doing nothing as a wrong headed Cuck stain move because I can at least respect the person even if I vehemently disagree with his ideas, I can respect you if you respect me even if I vehemently disagree with your ideas. We are all here to learn. You are walking on thin ice here, and I suggest you tread carefully. If all you can do is criticize what others say without coming up with a plan of your own of what you would do, then you are a cuck stain so the only way for you to avoid being a cuck stain is to state what you would do if you were in Aussie man’s place with all that has happened from this day forward like I have.

  36. @ SJF
    I respectfully disagree with doing nothing and saying nothing. I agree that Aussie man should have never bought the ticket for Aussie Woman etc. That is done and over with now, I agree with you that he should learn GAME. I personally think that Aussie man is a Average Frustrated Chump Beta Bux man in this situation who got cucked by smooth talking Alpha Fux Goldmund. I personally think it would be best for Aussie man to remove the Bux immediately from Aussie woman and let her suffer by cancelling her return ticket home and removing her from the lodgings where he is staying. He should do this as coldly as possible, then tell everyone back home in Austraillia what he did and why in order to get his side of the story across first. I disagree that it lowers his status as inflicting Dread on Aussie Woman and sending a message to any other woman that Aussie man does not tolerate being messed with. You are right that Aussie woman does not owe Aussie man sex, but Aussie man does not owe Aussie woman money( lodgings, food and a return air line ticket home etc.) I truly believe that the best first step to stop being the AFC Beta Bux and to become the Alpha Fux is to remove the BUX from women because it demonstrates that you will not be cuckolded so brazenly and that you will punish such a woman if able which Aussie man is able to do so unlike most men most of the time.If Aussie woman had paid her own way, then there is little Aussie man could do except say that his and Aussie woman’s relationship is finished which is what most men most of the time must do as they have little to no recourse. If you read what I said to Sentinet above, please do not take it personally as I disagree with your idea, but hold no ill will towards you as your last response was respectful towards me and at least you had a plan of what you would do even if I think of it as very poor whereas all Sentinet could do is criticize and insult yet offer no plan of hat he would do. As long as you stay respectful to me, then I will respect you, and I do respect you.

  37. @ Blaximus
    Please read what I read to SJF above. I never suggested that Aussie man throw a tantrum. He should act coldly and remove the Beta Bux now,

  38. @ SJF
    @ Blaximus
    The reason I said that he should tell everyone back home what she did and why is so she is at a disadvantage when she tells her side second, If he cancels her logings and ticket without saying why first then everyone back home will regard him as a raging dickhead asshole, They may do so anyway. The person who speaks first is more likely to control the frame of the conversations which will be going on in Austrailia. Most young women today will silently and in subtle ways brag about how they cucked AFC Beta Bux and fucked Alpha Fux under the nose of the Beta Bux. Some of these women will openly and loudly brag about it. It is for this reason that I regard Aussie man doing this as the best legal option he has as it inflicts massive pain, confusion and terror on the Aussie Woman. This is why I said what I said. If you disagree then that is fine Gentlemen as we just respectfully agree to disagree with one another.

    He should cancel her ticket and lodgings. Then he should immediately tell everyone back home what he did and why.. He should do this coldly and with raised voice but not shouting as to make the point clear by saying to leave the lodgings and not tell her whether or not he cancelled the ticket. Once she is out of the lodgings he should have a shit eating grin to show her or laugh at her if her back is to him. Then he should go out and GAME American women as him being an Austrailian man gives him higher Sexual Market Value in the USA than in his home Austrailia. If he can successfully game women then good and if not then at least he tried. If he is able to Game American women who look a lot like Aussie woman successfully, then send pictures home or directly to Aussie woman then all the better.

  39. Doclove

    I didn’t see this tacked on the end… Lol.

    “He should cancel her ticket and lodgings. Then he should immediately tell everyone back home what he did and why.”

    Gamma rage? For what purpose?

  40. @ doc

    ” He should cancel her ticket and lodgings. Then he should immediately tell everyone back home what he did and why.. He should do this coldly and with raised voice but not shouting as to make the point clear by saying to leave the lodgings and not tell her whether or not he cancelled the ticket. Once she is out of the lodgings he should have a shit eating grin to show her or laugh at her if her back is to him. Then he should go out and GAME American women as him being an Austrailian man gives him higher Sexual Market Value in the USA than in his home Austrailia. If he can successfully game women then good and if not then at least he tried. If he is able to Game American women who look a lot like Aussie woman successfully, then send pictures home or directly to Aussie woman then all the better.”

    No.

    This sounds insane imo.

    If Aussie guy is 16 or 17, then maybe I could see the above actions, but it is not good for a grown man to throw tantrums and act out like that. This was not his girlfriend or wife. PERIOD . He even miscalculated how good of a friend she actually was.

    I do think Aussie boy should’ve gamed some women, but from the story it seems that my parakeet has more game than he does, sooooo…….

    It’s not possible to ” inflict ” dread on any female that gives zero fucks about you at all.

    As for running back to Australia and telling everyone what transpired in NYC, all I can say is Holy Shit!!!. I’m with Sentient: What is the point of all of that crazy, childish behavior? What does it get him?

    If any man that I knew came to me with a story of how he flew some chick to another country, professed his lurv, and she banged some guy she just met in a bathroom ( Lmao… I cant help it, it’s fucking hilarious on so many levels ), First I’d tell him how stupid his actions were, then if he wanted to run around and explain this clusterfuck to everyone, I’d tell him to gtfo of my face with that bullshit.

    What should he have done?

    I will reiterate. He should take the loss and learn a lesson and never repeat this kind of shit ever again. Maybe if he wasn’t such a giant pussy, he’d bang her in the hotel bathroom. Place his ” friend ” in the ” Whore ” category and treat her accordingly.

    All of that coldly raising his voice and voicing his displeasure and cancelling flights and kicking her out and blahblahblahblah… are the actions of a weak man. He would be displaying a lack of inner strength and understanding rather than the other way around. The aussie chick just ” girled ” him. That’s it.

    Never, ever let any woman weaken you. IDGAF how you might feeeellll about what happened, never let them see you fucking sweat. Evar!!!!!!!! Playing emotional games, that’s women’s territory. Leave them too it.

  41. “I agree that Aussie man should have never bought the ticket for Aussie Woman etc. That is done and over with now . . .”

    Yeah, the ‘What difference, at this point, does it make?’ defense works every time.

    So, there I was, playing with matches in a fireworks factory. Not very smart, I admit it, but . . .

    what has that got to do with my situation now?

  42. The circus has moved on, but…

    “He could cancel her plane ticket… I guess that’s an option. Or he could take the fucking loss.”
    Blaximus June 9, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    A quick search found a ticket price of about $1,300 one-way from NY to AUS. I for one, would take a full refund, a partial refund or cancel with no refund. If that’s gamma rage—I’ll take it.

    Men on this site have argued that if a woman acts like a bitch on a dinner date. The man should excuse himself like he’s going to the bathroom and leave her with the bill. Why should he take an additional financial loss. As someone noted previously, a man could buy a lot of $9 drinks with that money.

    I agree with Blaximus and others that he has lost. The “relationship” or “friendship” is over. There is nothing to discuss or solve. I totally subscribe to the acta non verba. The problem is that his bluepill conditioning would not allow him to see it, and he would most likely find some rationale that makes him want to take her back.

    I think there is some confusion about the meaning of dread. The removal of financial benefits is just that. It is not making the woman fearful or anxious to further a man’s goals in the relationship. If she experiences financial hardship due to the removal of the financial benefits, well that’s so sad.

  43. “Why should he take an additional financial loss.”

    In this case, because he didn’t do it the first time, he did it something like the 900th time. And, he already paid for this particular drink.

    His loss, and the rules under which he would accept such losses had already been established. Refusing to pay for a drink has an obvious economic component, but it’s about frame. Refusing to pay the first time is maintaining frame. Having already paid, you have already lost frame. Paying for a drink establishes no contract other than you will provide her with a drink. It is only your hope that it will lead to some further contract. She is not responsible for your hopes, just as you are not responsible for hers.

    So what should he do now? Accept that he was played for a sucker, that his sunk cost is sunk, consider it his tuition and don’t do it again. Don’t give this girl any more money and don’t give the next girl that first drink.

  44. “I think there is some confusion about the meaning of dread. The removal of financial benefits is just that. It is not making the woman fearful or anxious to further a man’s goals in the relationship. If she experiences financial hardship due to the removal of the financial benefits, well that’s so sad.”

    Alpha Fucks guys can remove their presence and make a woman fearful and anxious.

    Beta Bucks guys can remove their financial benefits and attempt to play a Machiavellian game of negotiating desire. Depends on the woman how that will play out. A detached observer can see how that will play out better than the principles involved.

  45. What SJF said.

    Goldmund described him as tall, good-looking and arrogant. Throw in his Aussie accent in NYC and he could clean up.

    Take the loss, like Blaximus said, immediately ghost yourself from the scene and hit another NYC hot spot. Then, assuming you have game,

    1. Hook up and stay overnight at another chick’s place with zero responses to bathroom girl texts etc.

    2. Pull one or two American chicks back to your hotel room late that night and, if bathroom girl is there, a chill “Oh, I didn’t think you would be here. Mind getting some fresh air for awhile?”

    Both require a major DGAF attitude and both of these seem laughable to me purely from Goldmund’s description of Aussie’s anger and (non) post-bathroom-banging (non) response.

  46. @KFG
    Yes, frame was lost and 99.9% chance it cannot be recovered. Yes, he is an average frustrated chump.

    “…his sunk cost is sunk…” Emotionally, to her, absolutely yes, agreed. Financially, his sunk cost is with the airline unless recoverable. I would receive some satisfaction knowing that she had to pay her way back home.

    @SJF
    Agreed, he cannot play dread game to win her back or reestablish frame. I was only promoting the idea of burning down the village and walking away.

    I’m not sure if this makes you guys arguing that he should stay in a bad deal white knights or apex alphas. It seems to me to be a little of both.

    To illustrate my position, I had a situation with my buddy Earl right after I began driving. We picked up a girl named Bonnie–a blond HB5. This was a very old car with bench seats. She chose to sit in the back with Earl.

    Well Earl, being Earl started a make-out session. I told him to cool it. She made some comment like (the song):

    Keep your mind on your drivin’
    Keep your hands on the wheel
    Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead

    I said fuck this, slammed on the brakes and ordered them to get out. He gave me the “be cool man”, and she said at least take me back where you picked me up. I told her, hell no and I was going to pull her out by her long blond hair if that’s what it took.

    So, I left them on the side of the road, and went in search of other action. Earl walked her back. Taking a detour through some bushes for a quickie.

    Neither of us apologized or held a grudge about the incident. We were both playing our respective roles. She chose him. Fine, done. It doesn’t mean he’s going to do her in the back seat of my car with me driving them around like a chauffeur.

    The funny thing was he came to me about 2 weeks later in a panic to tell me Bonnie was pregnant and had been sent away. He was worried that he might be the father. I told him he was a dumbass and that a girl wouldn’t know she was pregnant until a missed period. She was already pregnant.

  47. “Agreed, he cannot play dread game to win her back or reestablish frame. I was only promoting the idea of burning down the village and walking away.

    I’m not sure if this makes you guys arguing that he should stay in a bad deal white knights or apex alphas. It seems to me to be a little of both.”

    I’m always promoting getting out of the initial stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining and depression) into a stage of Acceptance. The initial four stages hold you back, while Acceptance allows you to move forward.

    https://therationalmale.com/2011/11/15/rejection-revenge/

    Remember, rejection isn’t limited to just inter-gender instances. In fact that’s almost a more interesting aspect; your reaction to being rejected for a potential job will be far more measured than if you were rejected for intimacy with a woman. One reason we go to such great lengths to buffer ourselves against rejection is the fear of having to experience it, but often the fear of it is more debilitating than the actual experience.

    Revenge

    I mention this in particular because it’s easily the most common, and potentially the most damaging reaction men have with rejection. This can be from enacting something petty and annoying to the actual murder of the rejecting woman. This is the “how can I get back at her” response, and while it may seem satisfying to ‘teach her a lesson’ trust that this lesson will never be taught by revenge, no matter how justified or deserving she is.

    Indifference speaks volumes. The very consideration of revenge is a waste of your time, a waste of your effort, that would be better spent learning and bettering yourself from that rejection. I can personally relate a story of a young man who was just released from prison. He killed the boyfriend who his ‘soulmate’ replaced him with when he was 16 by stabbing him 32 times. That was his revenge. If he’d been 2 years older he would’ve been put to death or served a life sentence. You may not be that extreme in pursuing a course of revenge, but the consequences are similar. For so long as you consider revenge, no matter how petty, you’ll still be attached to the emotions of that rejection. Accept the rejection, move on, rejection is better than regret – literally in this case.

    Men aren’t being prepared, aren’t being raised to be Men. We constantly belabor this to the point that we make it a matter of personal pride and duty to instruct our fellow men less fortunate to realize it. Dealing with rejection is the lynchpin to this. When I read posts from Men I’d otherwise consider enlightened (to the Matrix or what have you) contemplate how best to enact their ‘revenge’ upon a woman who refused his approach, or in retaliation to a woman’s infidelity, I wonder if they are as enlightened as I gave them credit. In facing rejection, you have no choice but to accept it. How you’ll do so is a matter of your character. It’s important to cultivate an almost third-person approach to accepting rejection. For a lot of people, particularly those unaccustomed or new to deep personal rejection this is a tough order. We get emotionally invested and that’s never conducive to making good decisions, particularly for men who’d do better to rely on rationality and pragmatism. We’re particularly susceptible when we’re adolescents and young adults.

    “The funny thing was he came to me about 2 weeks later in a panic to tell me Bonnie was pregnant and had been sent away. He was worried that he might be the father. I told him he was a dumbass and that a girl wouldn’t know she was pregnant until a missed period. She was already pregnant.

    https://therationalmale.com/2011/12/08/chasing-amy/

    I didn’t repost this story as some indictment of Christian culture, but rather as an example of how plugged-in men develop idealization of their “Quality Woman.” Neither am I trying to convince anyone that “all women are sluts, never trust them.” Both of those characterizations are binary extremes, women lie somewhere in between. It’s a much healthier starting point for men to understand women from the perspective of coming to terms with their pre-conditioned idealization. Your sweet little virgin wants to fuck, and your whore still wants to be a soccer mom.

  48. Some mighty fine suggestions

    Problem is Aussie cuck can’t pull none of that shit, otherwise he wouldn’t be out who knows how much cash with his dick in one hand and his heart and soul laying on the floor. About all he has is cutting his losses and figuring out what went wrong/ how not to fail like that again. Which comes down to reducing his fiscal loss, red pill and learning game but when a business venture goes bad all you can do is recoup your losses and learn how to play the game differently the next time.

  49. Dreams of rolling this back or regulating it or limiting it, or of seeing some phantom Caliphate impose sharia, are fruitless and pointless in this context, precisely because they overlook the underlying reasons for why things are the way they are. The option open to men is to adapt to the new reality, which is what we are about doing here at this blog. Because that is still possible in this environment, and the rest of it is not — no longer possible. The underlying reasons are real, tangible and technological, and they are not going to get rolled back.

    Has anyone seriously considered the likely implications of men actually adapting to this new reality? Which is something that hasn’t truly happened yet, judging by the number of beta cucks still around? This is indeed the one option open to them, but it is also something that is unprecedented in history. If that happens, the bets are pretty much off. In that case, we’re in uncharted waters.

  50. Let me rephrase that

    Anyone who thinks their lot in life would improve under sharia is either fucked in the head or into fucking boys, goats and other livestock

  51. Just found an article from Australia that I thought I would share. Have included the last few paragraphs. Feminists are still blaming everything but feminism for the sad state of affairs for many over-50 women. Their sense of entitlement, victim mentality and solipsism knows no bounds…

    “That is why feminism is not just a privileged, middle-class white ladies’ indulgence. Feminism looks at the structures of inequality that handicap women for their whole lives and, tragically, come home to roost when they are at their most vulnerable.

    Feminism is an incomplete project. For some women of my generation it has helped us gain an independence that our mothers and grandmothers only dreamt of.

    For other women, particularly those who thought they had no need for feminism when young, a sexist society has left them literally out in the cold.”

    abc.net.au/news/2017-06-18/women-over-fifty-feminism-incomplete/8619526

  52. From 50+ Australian feminist Jane Caro. The sense of entitlement, victim mentality & solipsism certainly doesn’t mellow as a feminist ages…

    “Feminism is an incomplete project

    It is when women turn 50 (as it is for men) that their ability to remain employed becomes shaky.

    If they are in low-paid, relatively low-skilled occupations, losing their job can be a disaster.

    If they have spent their working lives in such jobs — and remember, girls of my generation were often overtly encouraged not to bother with tertiary training because they would marry, have kids and their husband would support them — they will have very little between them and poverty.

    They don’t have much superannuation (women retire with roughly half as much super as men: $105,000, on average, compared with men’s $197,000), are too old for the job market, too young for the pension and not eligible for any kind of disability support.

    If they don’t own their own home or have sold it to live off the proceeds (what else do you do when you have no income?), a rent rise or increase in electricity prices can tip them into homelessness.

    Indeed, the fastest-growing group among the homeless is women over 55.

    That is why feminism is not just a privileged, middle-class white ladies’ indulgence. Feminism looks at the structures of inequality that handicap women for their whole lives and, tragically, come home to roost when they are at their most vulnerable.

    Feminism is an incomplete project. For some women of my generation it has helped us gain an independence that our mothers and grandmothers only dreamt of.

    For other women, particularly those who thought they had no need for feminism when young, a sexist society has left them literally out in the cold.”

    abc.net.au/news/2017-06-18/women-over-fifty-feminism-incomplete/8619526

  53. The Utility of Beta Men – Part I
    @ SJF June 17, 2017 at 11:01 am

    So, if you (and apparently Blaximus) believe that you can get to the Acceptance Stage of Grief more quickly by skipping the Anger Stage or not acting on anger your position makes sense. I don’t agree, but I understand.

    Denial
    Anger
    Depression
    Bargaining
    Acceptance

    I looked up the stages to make sure I knew what you were saying. I came to grief.com and the first sentence under anger was, “Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process.” My understanding is that you cycle through these stages and not in order and often not with any finality.

    Yes, taking revenge by stabbing the rival 32 times is a bad move. However, while kicking her out, canceling her flight and ghosting can be considered revenge, I believe the important function is anger and beginning the healing process.

    In my car story, I could have allowed Earl and Bonnie to continue making-out in the back of my car. I could have driven them back. But, I chose to kick them out of my car. Yes, I was angry, especially at her snarky comment. The clock was ticking on the night, and I wanted this part to end immediately. Choose the metaphor you like: rip off the bandaid or stop the bleeding. The handles many men have chosen on RM illustrate this sentiment.

    The point of Earl’s pregnancy scare over his quickie with Bonnie was not about his or my idealization about her quality. It was funny because in this scenario he got the girl. He had sex. So, he’s the winner. Oh, except he had the “oh shit moment” that he could be the father. Until, of couse, I helped him with the math. Earl was better with seduction than with simple math.

    The Utility of Beta Men – Part I
    @ SFC Ton June 17, 2017 at 11:24 am
    Agree, Aussie Beta is not ready. I think the AFC must be kicked in the face several times. For me, it took about 3 really good kicks.
    Based on your response, I’ll put you in the “yes” category to the question “if the train should jump the tracks, do you want your money back?”

    Concerning Goldmund doing him a favor or some such claim. I’m not a fisherman. But as a metaphor, I think it’s kind of like fishing on a peer as a newby, and having a master fisherman stand in the same spot and cast his line right next to yours. Similarly, it’s like the bully who believes you owe him thanks for allowing you to walk down the street without beating you up.

  54. @If-I-Fell

    I understand your points on the necessity, for some individuals, to go through the stages. But the stages are mostly descriptive and are very much not prescriptive. (E.g., not everyone needs and Anger stage and retribution.) They were observations by Eliz. Kubler-Ross on what dying patients went through when they were facing death in the care of tone deaf physicians and support staff to the process of dying a certain death.

    She just reported what she saw, rather than formulated a plan to get to Acceptance in Grief situations. And then she applied it to every other type of situation similar to “dying”, like the loss of a relationship. Everyone that can’t get to Acceptance can’t get there in their own little way. Everyone that can get to Acceptance is all the same.

    While the stages of Grief may be “necessary” for one individual to cope with their situation, they are not necessary for all individuals. The stages short of Acceptance are normal emotions that everyone might face. Does Aussie need to experience the first four stages in order to move on to the next girl? Probably and perhaps. Does every one else need that? Not really.

    Everyone has a natural inborn natural mechanism to have psychological resilience. The absence of grief or trauma symptoms is a healthy outcome. Acceptance is healthy. It is Detachment from the grief. It allows one to move forward. As long as you are not facing death, it helps to advance your purpose and pursuit, rather than having taxing emotions. Denial, anger, bargaining and depression are taxing to clear thinking and “the how things ought to be, rather than how things are” predicament.

    Psychological Resilience is like Nassim Taleb’s Antifragile state building.

    Psychological resilience is defined as an individual’s ability to successfully adapt to life tasks in the face of social disadvantage or highly adverse conditions. Adversity and stress can come in the shape of family or relationship problems, health problems, or workplace and financial worries, among others. Resilience is one’s ability to bounce back from a negative experience with “competent functioning”. Resilience is not a rare ability; in reality, it is found in the average individual and it can be learned and developed by virtually anyone. Resilience should be considered a process, rather than a trait to be had. It is a process of individuation through a structured system with gradual discovery of personal and unique abilities.

    A common misconception is that resilient people are free from negative emotions or thoughts, and remain optimistic in most or all situations. To the contrary, resilient individuals have, through time, developed proper coping techniques that allow them to effectively and relatively easily navigate around or through crises. In other words, people who demonstrate resilience are people with optimistic attitude and positive emotionality and are, by practice, able to effectively balance negative emotions with positive ones. –Wikipedia, Psychological Resilience

    Because Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief cannot be prescriptive (ask any grief counselor), I also fully realize that a person like me, in the comments I’ve made about The Stages of Grief, amount to not much more than The Power of Positive Thinking for those that need to process Grief in their own individualized way. I think that fact that is the issue you take with my statements. It’s just too pithy.

    As exhibit A, take this essay from The Family Alpha (I take issue with this essay, without dismissing it’s merit. It’s really a great manifesto. Cause I’m not a pure Alpha personified man, although I try to move toward that, while being limited by circumstances):

    https://thefamilyalpha.com/2015/12/30/creating-your-slut/

    While that is great essay in the manosphere regarding the Power of Positive Thinking, it’s exhortations still need to be implemented. And its implementation is actually limited by the resources, pressures, and characteristics of one man’s immediate environment, which can make a tremendous difference. These factors are not, and cannot be taken into account by a Descriptive Model of what goes on in some peoples minds and be implemented forthright into a prescriptive plan of action. (And that is precisely why Rollo got irritated by the PoPT that crept into RSD Game models. And it’s not that PoPT doesn’t serve a purpose, it’s just that some shouldn’t be selling it –for a price–for what ails you. Because each unhappy man is unhappy in his own way.)

    All this is an exercise in Accepting cognitive dissonance. It is a call to move forward without cognitive dissonance inhibiting your Game.

  55. @ If-I-Fell

    ” So, if you (and apparently Blaximus) believe that you can get to the Acceptance Stage of Grief more quickly by skipping the Anger Stage or not acting on anger your position makes sense. I don’t agree, but I understand.”

    Time.

    Maybe it’s because of age or something, but Anger doesn’t serve my purpose. When I was a very young man, in my late teens and early 20’s, I had a hair trigger and volcanic temper. Overall, it never really served any purpose because I couldn’t resolve the anger by any real means. I couldn’t beat and kill everyone that I presumed slighted me in some manner.

    Nowadays, whenever anger does appear ( I’m human, after all ), it vanishes almost as quickly as it arises. Life is better that way.

    So based on my own personal experiences in life, I’d recommend to any man to get past any anger asap. Avoid acting in anger. Dumb shit usually happens.

    A tactic in boxing is to try and get under your opponents skin by making him angry. Muhammad Ali was a Master at this. An angry man can’t think clearly ( with few exceptions, as some folks are just born angry ) and is prone to bad judgment at key points in his decision making.

    A man will pretty consistently run across some really stupid people in life. It’s a job to stay angry at all of the possible fuckery one may encounter. It’s better to just keep it moving. On to acceptance = ” This is stupid/dumb/fucked up, nothing for me to gain here and I Am Out. “.

    Makes a great component to a stronger frame.

  56. @ SJF and Blaximus, I think we are close enough for horseshoes. I still would cut her off financially.

    Here is a story to illustrate how I have used anger to get to acceptance:

    When I dated the married but separated woman, she broke up with me on the eve of mid-term week. She was I would later learn a cold and calculating bitch who was tired of playing me—probably a Cluster B. She never even played out the de rigueur of having “the talk”. I suspect she scheduled the breakup for maximum effect. I think we as old guys (I’m part of that group) underestimate the amount of brain real estate that a woman occupies in a young man’s mind when he has his romantic relationship suddenly cut away.

    I remember trying to concentrate, while thoughts of her kept coming back into my mind. I was somewhat successful in managing my addictive behavior and anger by imagining her laughing at me for being a chump and her having the power over me to cause me to fail my semester. My grades suffered about a letter grade, but I managed to keep the ship from sinking. After, figuratively, cutting off medusa’s head, I rarely gave her a second thought.

    I saw her, for the last time, on the street a few months later. She made eye contact, looked scared, crossed the street and walked away hastily in the other direction. This was strange behavior because I am not by any stretch an aggressive guy and I have never been threatening or abusive to any woman I have dated. By then, I had reached acceptance (at least bluepill acceptance), and my reaction was bitch you aren’t worth my time.

  57. Dear Rollo, I’ve been thinking recently that if there is an Alpha Buddha like Corey, then an antithesis must exist! Much like Mr Glass is the antithesis to Bruce Willis’s character in ‘Unbreakable’. Well, a friend that also reads your blog told me about the guy in the following link. He basically emasculates himself live on TV on a popular woman’s show here in UK. The female hosts are basically supporting him and in not so many words telling him what a good little beta he is because he’s totally fine with not ever getting sex from his wife. Basically not only giving away his beta status but flaunting those same credentials as if it’s something all men should aspire to attain. From a red-pill aware state, this is quite frankly laughable and in my humble opinion, if ever there were an antithesis to the Alpha Buddha then this guy is totally it! He is so naturally beta that he oozes betaness in an almost Zen-like state. So here he is in all his proud emasculated, pathetic glory… Steve, The Beta Buddah! (Disclaimer: Just opinion obviously)

  58. I recently just experienced a hard kick in the teeth knocked my whole from row of teeth down my throat..a girl who I had be orbiting for years has been fucking another dude big surprise right.. but it’s the reality when you try to seek external validation from a woman she will reverse engineer it and destroy you with your own insecurities.

  59. @Rah Gawd

    “I recently just experienced a hard kick in the teeth knocked my whole from row of teeth down my throat..a girl who I had be orbiting for years has been fucking another dude big surprise right.. but it’s the reality when you try to seek external validation from a woman she will reverse engineer it and destroy you with your own insecurities.”

    So you thought that if you were a good friend and put in some equity that she would see how great of a guy you are. This is blue pill bullshit we have been taught to believe. When in reality, she has been stinging you along for free resources and attention with no desire to take it any further.

    The best revenge is to move on and excel without this woman. You are already a “good guy” and it didn’t work out. She should have been clear that it would never lead to anything, but then she would loose your free attention and resources. In the mean time, she is fucking another guy.

    It’s funny to be awake and see the code around us. You will start to see women for what they really are. Take them off the pedestal and stop giving them free shit. Not all of them are bad, but some are utter shit and you need to avoid them like the plague. If she doesn’t show desire, move on. Actions speak louder than words.

  60. I was looking for something about Let’s Just Be Friends and brought this back up in the search. This post is 2-3 years old so it’s probably been talked about in the comments already. But even if a light comes on after men read what happened with Goldmund, a 2nd light that might come on if they give it more thought to if you take away the beta australian guy from the scene and it’s just Goldmund and the girl meeting at the bar, she very well may have not considered banging at the bar despite having the same level of attraction for Goldmund.
    The beta aussie being there with her probably was a high motivating factor to use it as a metaphorical pie in the face. As Goldmund is quoted as saying if the guy was cool about it, Goldmund admits he would likely have met up with her somewhere else, and secretly. Her motivation was probably almost exactly the same. She very much wants to show the aussie how much beta she sees him. And does it with all the carefree attitude in the world despite that she’s staying with the aussie.

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