Two Guitars

2guitars

Recently, I’ve been very busy with more than a few business projects. ‘Success Coaches’ always tell you to develop passive forms of income in addition to whatever it is you consider your vocation, but I have an odd habit of turning my past “vocations” into passive forms of income as I move on to my next project.

Then I’ve had the audiobook of The Rational Male as a front-burner project for my leisure time along with doing re-edits of the first printed book (new, better-edited, bigger font edition coming soon) and then there’s the first draft of the third book I’m picking away at.

In between all of that I’ve been doing my best to stay on top of the comment threads for the essays I’m writing. Among these, for the past 6 or 7 months has been the saga of a commenter who goes by Softek. While I haven’t been able to keep abreast of all his comments and the exceptional advice of fellow Rational readers, I’m going to take a moment now to address his situation because it serves as an example, and perhaps a warning, to Red Pill aware men who come into a new awakened understanding of intergender dynamics and fall prey to some of the pitfalls inherent in unplugging themselves from their prior illusions.

I’ve followed Softek’s unplugging and his increased confidence from a thoroughly Blue Pill conditioned guy to something approaching Alpha confidence. Whether this is beginning to stick and becoming an internalized part of who Softek is as a man, I’ll let him say, but recently he’s been dealing with some of the fallout that comes from being caught up in what I went through in Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite.

Another very common occurrence is the “reformed” AFC who makes progress toward becoming more Game savvy, and as a result gets his “dream girl”, only to lose her after reverting back into an AFC frame once he’s in an LTR with her. I’m not a big Ross Jefferies fan, but he did say something very profound once, he said “teaching PUA skills to these chumps is like giving dynamite to children.” This is probably truer than he realized, because the potential for disaster is much higher. Most guys want that silver bullet, the magic formula that will get them the girl, but it does nothing to prepare them for the idyllic LTR their beta nature has fantasized about for so very long. They don’t become Men, they become children with dynamite. So are we really surprised when the guy who finally gets his Dream Girl as a result of learning Game becomes despondent and suicidal when he loses the “best thing he’ll ever have” when she leaves him? Are we shocked when his ONEitis turns out to be a BPD girl and his life’s ambitions fall into a death-spiral because he was unprepared to deal with a post-Game LTR?

Now, I’m not suggesting that Softek is despondent or suicidal in his present position. In fact, likely not because he’s got a base of support on this blog and in the manosphere at large to coach him through it. I’ll let him outline his situation in the comment thread for this post, however, Softek’s situation of getting wrapped up in a yo-yo clingy BPD relationship reminded me of a story I’m not very proud to relate, but in the interests of other guys in a similar situation I’ll explain it.

The Price of a BPD

Towards the end of my relationship with my own BPD there came a point when I attempted to make it work with her as a long distance relationship (LDR). This was really the last nail in the coffin for us. I knew damn well she was ‘cheating’ on me while I blithely convinced myself I would eventually get her to move another state away to join me so I could continue wallowing in her neurotic psychological abuse of me.

I’m happy to say that never happened, but it came at a cost. At one point during the LDR I had to make a decision in order to find a way to drive over a state to see her college graduation. I’d already had my (correct) suspicions she was fucking a guy from one of her classes, but I wasn’t entirely sure. You’ve got to understand that as a BPD she’d already had me ‘converted’ to accept her frame as the dominant one. And as pathetic as it’ll sound, I was still her thrall and blamed myself for her neurosis even as I lived 800 miles away.

People love to cast me as some life-long Alpha, but I’ve been Beta, a natural Alpha, and during this period of my life I was approaching Omega (by Vox’s definitions). If there’s a bright side, it was that the bit I’m about to relate to you was the catalyst in my turning my life around to be a ‘lesser Alpha’ in a permanent way.

I had already been brought low. In her neurotic jealousy, she insisted that I toss out a photo album of all the times I’d been on stage in my Hollywood days and essentially destroy the memories of friends and events I had archived of that time. It was like losing part of my soul, but I did so because I thought she was right; I was convinced anything that came before her that I’d done was the source of her distempers.

You might think that was bad, but in order for me to go to her graduation – the time she intentionally had me discover her fucking this guy – I had to pay for that horrible experience by selling off two very expensive guitars. I won’t tell you the brand, but they were a 12 and a 6 string acoustic that was priceless to me. Even the guy I sold them to asked me if I was sure I wanted to part with them, he could tell I didn’t.

But I did sell them, for $800. Now they’d be worth around $4,000, but it’s not the dollar value I regret the most, it was voluntarily cutting off a limb from myself for the privilege of learning exactly how fucked up this person was. The only time I’ve ever snapped with Mrs. Tomassi was her casually suggesting I might sell off a guitar from my present collection. She knew there was something more to it and I’ve never silenced her with more seriousness.

I have one post outlining Borderline Personality Disorder and I feel like it’s all I really needed to post about it. There was a time in my life when I was completely in the dark about anything like it, so when I first discovered it in the DSM while studying psych it literally sent chills down my spine.

After this traumatic experience, I came to realize that while all the women I’d been convinced and conditioned to believe were my duty to be supportive of were banging other men and earning degrees, my life was paralyzed. Now, in hindsight, I can see that my beating myself up over being stalled in life because of my Blue Pill conditioning was misplaced. ONEitis will do that to you, but when you combine it with a BPD it takes a trauma to wake you up – either that or you swallow a bullet or put a rope around your neck.

On the BPD comment thread, there’s a sobering account of another man’s experience with a BPD woman. I’ll quote it here, but virtually every experience I’ve had men relate to me about a BPD is a frighteningly similar story.

From Hugh:

So, to start, I discovered that my ex was having an affair, revolving around a “church based canoe group”. Initially, I began questioning and blaming myself, telling her that we needed to work it out. I spoke to a professional seeking support and answers, who somehow got her in to see him.

He reported to me that he diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, and that I had some major choices to make, as she rejected his diagnosis and any thought of treatment. He advised that she would never change without help, and that what she did had little to do with me or the children – it was all about her.

I initially failed to understand, and tried to reconcile. Over the next few months she promised to try, and even started going to church.

But, little-by-little she revealed how this had begun, first with lesbian affairs with coworkers, then eventually, when I bought her a new car, but declined to take a car maintenance class with her – she slept with the mechanic giving the class. I learned of more in rapid succession, of affairs, one night stands, and worse over a 7 year period. She was in the medical field and used the cover of being on call,being in surgery, working extra for a dentist, going to medical conferences, etc, etc.(I could comment on my opinion of medical morals, but ’nuff said) I recalled an occasion when I got overwhelmingly sleepy after consuming a soft drink at a movie with the ex. I realize now that she drugged me. She also infected me twice with STDs, telling me she had a yeast infection. She put antibiotic in my food unknown to me. My children later reported to me, when asked, that whoever I was out of town, the ex was “always” gone to the hospital at night “on call”.

The gross details aren’t necessary, but the revelations shook me back to reality. (disgusting, degrading, and sick are better terms even than gross)

She began trying to convince me to sell our house and move. Now awake, I realized that she wanted her share and would dump the children on the street and force a move to a new neighborhood. I had recently pulled her off the chest of our 11 year old son when she tried to strangle him for begging her not to leave him – so I wasn’t exactly fooled by her house sale drive. I resolved that my children needed to have the support of friends and family, and not be moved out of their home and away from friends. How I would do this came to me eventually – wait long enough and she would find another prince, but couldn’t hide it easily, and would have to leave.

I had been contacted by the wife of her latest affair, a physician whom she had recommended me to for minor surgery.(Roll that around for a second). She and I had quite a conversation, during which I learned that he had “done this before with his office nurse, and she had attempted suicide when he dumped her – possibly for my wife”. I advised her to seek professional medical and legal council, but also delivered an explicit warning concerning what I would do if I ever saw her husband in public.

The next day the ex came home late from work, crying and just glaring at me (a Thursday BTW – a favorite day for medical professionals at some hospitals to play, as it offers the cover for some surgeons who “have surgery that day”.) The next day, after meeting with her surgeon friend again, she proceeded to drive her car right in front of an oncoming truck, suffering broken ribs. I rushed to the hospital, told she was being X-rayed and that I should go to the room she was assigned. I did so and in rearranging the pillows on the bed, found a hand written note from a “friend” indicating they would be by later. I didn’t stay long after she got to the room.

Well, we bought her a new truck, and about 3 weeks later, she called to inform me that she was taking our motor home on a canoe trip that afternoon, and when she returned, she was “leaving the family”. She asked our teenaged daughter to drop her off, and my daughter called me, appalled, that the canoe trip was my ex and 4 men. My daughter said she threw gravel “all over them” with her rapid departure.

She never said anything to the children, but shortly after informed me that she was leaving that afternoon. She got friends to help her move and was gone when my dad and I returned from picking up the kids at school golf team practice.

The judge at the divorce hearing classified her as having abandoned the family and offered to impose child support payments on her – which I declined, in an attempt to cut all ties.

That was 31 years ago, and we had absolutely no contact with her until Dec 24, when a scribbled note, from some tiny town in East Texas arrived, stating that she had breast cancer, and I should take “appropriate measures concerning the children”.

I can’t imagine that she thinks any of us care!

So, that’s my early life’s scary story – though I left the horror story parts out!

Be safe, there are really monsters in the world!

Hugh

P S – My 2 older children are college educated,very successful professional people with families and children. I remarried a spectacular woman a few years after, the true savior of our lives, and have a third child, who is a Nurse Practitioner, and who also has 2 children.(I have advised her about morals in the medical field particularly).

Softek, the reason I’m dedicating an entire post (and hopefully an on-topic comment thread) about this is because, in my estimate, you’re in both a more precarious, yet potentially more hopeful, position than guys who’ve dealt with what you are now. My concern is that your Red Pill awareness and basic Game skills have brought you a dangerous woman. It’s the kids with dynamite dynamic I’m seeing unfold.

The good news is you have a solid community of men ready to help you with this, most of whom have some experience with toxic women. I’ve seen too many men learn Game or adopt an abundance frame, but still cling to the hope that they can fulfill a Blue Pill ideal with their Red Pill awareness. Women like the one you’re involved with will believe your Alpha frame, but when you shift or backslide into Blue Pill idealism they’re either disgusted with a man, or they see him as potential prey – and often are oblivious to their own interpretations of why they do.

I’d like to open up the commentary here for men to relate their experiences of dealing with BPD women and/or offer something for Softek. I realize there are a lot of well-meaning guys who think that BPD is overestimated in the ‘sphere, and while I can appreciate that, I think it speaks volumes that women can so regularly be confused with the signs of BPD today as to make that estimate. For my outline have a read of Borderline Personality Disorder first.

 

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Fred Flange, Authorized Safe Zone Pemit #333
Fred Flange, Authorized Safe Zone Pemit #333
5 years ago

@Trent Lane may be genuine, but the solicitous effort to draw out our Honorable Sensei’s past life seems trollish to me. Sure I’ll really get web hits if I publish all these cool secret details on all the times I parked my pickup truck where the sun don’t shine! Then next you know, the whole expose is on Twatter or 8Chan complete with doxxing instructions to harass friends, family, customers etc. Vox and I are opposite poles politically – let’s say someday I will be the commissar he reports to – but I’m with him 1000% on the benefits of… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

scribblerg May 25th, 2016 at 12:54 pm

I’m not taking the bait. My preference is a collusion of the tribe (secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order to cheat or deceive others, LOL) in the comments section advancing the cause of the masculine sexual strategy.

I can’t see a rat hole opening I’d like to take.

But I sure wouldn’t mind seeing you and her fight.

rugby11
rugby11
5 years ago

BPD
Without any positive feedback…

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

– Damn, you’ve seen through me, he he…

newlyaloof
5 years ago

Softek, draw a small box on a sheet of paper. Inside that box put the words “My past life with crazy BPD chick.” Next, draw a big box around that smaller box and label that “My life after crazy BPD chick.” What memories and accomplishments do you have to put inside this bigger box besides “I comment on TRM about the crazy bitch inside my smaller box”? Dude, fill your new box with ANYTHING OTHER than that crazy bitch. Put so many awesome new experiences inside your new box that you won’t care about that smaller box, and when you… Read more »

scray
scray
5 years ago

@emily

“I’m not very old, but in my experience very few things get easier with age.”

well, you’re speaking as a woman tho.

M Simon
5 years ago

Fred Flange, Authorized Safe Zone Pemit #333 – May 25th, 2016 at 1:39 pm

My www presence is relatively wide and deep. There are more than enough people out there with very deep grudges that I should in fact be dead already. Why I am not is a wonder to me.

But I have never lived in fear. It is unbecoming. I was a dead man 50 years ago. Every day since is a miracle. And a gift.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

“I’m not very old, but in my experience very few things get easier with age.”

Immaturitease 2016

M Simon
5 years ago

emilyy May 25th, 2016 at 1:53 pm Older man younger woman is quite common. Things do get easier with age. Was with the LTR some weeks back and was getting IOIs from 5 or 6 25 yos and was amused as was the LTR (it validated her choice). The best part was when we were leaving and I got IOI from a pair of 16 yos in the parking lot. I’m 71. Last week I actually had a 25 yo “chasing” me. The LTR was again amused. The 25 yo actually sat behind us while we watched a movie. And… Read more »

scray
scray
5 years ago

@emily

“Yeah but women and men aren’t all that different… Age effects men less negatively, but it does effect them regardless.”

well do you agree that life experience tends to strengthen someone’s internal frame?

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Emilyy – That’s a good girl. But a fully realized man is in quite a different circumstance than a junior girl at university. Your chastity makes you valuable and experience shows that the more cock you get, the more insane, miserable and unmarriable you’ll be. Not so for a man.

Do you miss getting a good dicking? Do you think about your current BF when masturbating or some alpha who widowed you already?

scray
scray
5 years ago

@emily lol so….no answer to the question i asked? “Imo, things may get easier with TIME but not age. If you use time well you could be wise, wealthy and have a lot of practice and charm by the time you are old. But if you don’t, then aging isn’t good per se.” what you’re saying here is that time + dedication/effort = increased skill but the passage of time alone != that increased skill, which would translate into x or y being ‘easier.’ sure, given. but let’s just assume people are gaining more and more experience with whatever it… Read more »

Via Vitae
Via Vitae
5 years ago
becomingamaninmyforties

@NotBornThisMorning – “A man cannot have two masters. He is his own or he is not” – Enjoyed the whole comment but this has become very true in my life and are words I need to live by.

kobayashii1681
5 years ago
Reply to  Rollo Tomassi

@Rollo: 😂😂😂😂

Exactly!

Klem
Klem
5 years ago

Lol funny how Softek’s post was to a T what Yareally predicted “she is not so bad, it’s only when she drinks etc.”

Softek dude, not so long ago you were agreeing that leaving her was the right thing to do.
Don’t get her pregnant 🙁

scray
scray
5 years ago

@emily k ya you’re saying that the means to acquire x or y fade over time. for ex, a guy starting in his 40’s to acquire wealth is going to find it more difficult than a guy in his 20’s because a lot of traits that are just naturally “greater” in youth lend themselves to it. not sure anyone would disagree with that everyone else is coming at this from the ‘had I put more time + determination/effort into it earlier it would have been easy at this point.’ angle. and assuming that men, by virtue of their role in… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Rollo – I forgot how awesome that cartoon is, superb! Remember, @Em, Rollo says you might have a chance as a pour girl if you get breast implants.

MonTueHappyDays
MonTueHappyDays
5 years ago

This kind of stuff is what the manosphere is all about. I seriously had no clue what bpd was before I started Googling the crazy shit she would do. We don’t want young men to be caught unawares. We live in a funked up society where we hear that women can’t be the problem. And where men who are the victim of physical assault want to know what more they can do for thier attacker. Don’t expect people you have known for years to believe what you are saying. The lies go so deep because a bpd believes whatever she… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

‘had I put more time + determination/effort into it earlier it would have been easy at this point.’

“It doesn’t any get easier, you just get faster.” — Greg LeMond

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

Replying to posts from the end of the previous thread on my LR: YaReally Sentient HABD thanks guys (and Blax – heh, great story dude – give me some years to build up something like that with girls stripping for me). Not even much to comment – just to note, I am trying to keep that vibe going..”Daily Game”.it’s definitely easier post-lay. More EC, better subcomms, walking taller, easier to open people etc. Next day I had another online date (HB7, 25) and then did a little solo game around my usual high-end hotel bar and chatted up bartender a… Read more »

Via Vitae
Via Vitae
5 years ago

@Rollo ROFL!

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@ Culum “I don’t know when it happened, but I have reached a point where I LOVE going on dates. It’s not WORK. It’s fun, something I anticipate and look forward to, because it means talking to pretty girls and improving my social skills, inherently fun activities. I don’t worry if they’ll like me: I KNOW they’ll like me, because who wouldn’t? Sure, I wonder if whatever skill I’m practicing that date will work, or if I’ll be able to pull her in the restroom or whatever..but there’s ZERO nervousness. It’s just like playing a fun game that you enjoy,… Read more »

M Simon
5 years ago

Rollo Tomassi – May 25th, 2016 at 2:57 pm

LULZ !!11!!

M Simon
5 years ago

scribblerg – May 25th, 2016 at 3:06 pm

Rollo says you might have a chance as a pour girl….

pour encourager les autres

M Simon
5 years ago

Culum Struan – May 25th, 2016 at 3:53 pm

I learned early on (by #4 or #6) that it is easy to dominate. What I also learned is that unless I’m trying to run up the score it is not worth it. Avid chicks are so much hotter than those who are likely to have second thoughts.

My operational rule went something like this – “Sleep with me naked. I like the body contact.” About 3/4s came back after that experience gagging for it. And the other 1/4? I got to sleep with them naked.

Jax
Jax
5 years ago

I haven’t read through the comments, I will, but I want to post about the aftermath of my experience with a BPD woman. After I finally grew balls and cut her out of my life for good, I spent the coming months still coping with the anger, rage, and emptiness. I was done with her, but a blue pill conditioning meant that emotionally, I was not. I was bitter and angry and blamed everything that went wrong in that dynamic on her. Things in my life changed however when I finally took responsibility for my role in the relationship’s failure.… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Now to me, that girl there is a solid 7.5, assuming her height is below 5’8″

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

M Simon Interesting back story for sure. Be interesting if you could explain why she was THE ONE for so long. what kept you engaged to this degree? I assume you have some need for drama in your life? A subset of men do. ” unless I’m trying to run up the score it is not worth it. ” If you read on Sedfast, The Thin Man is a very interesting poster. His model is zero LMR, because he does not like it. So he keeps his initial intro pick up short, his day 2 short and slightly sexual and… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Softek I have a proposal for you: Now that you have our attention, how about we help you on that mission statement of yours. You know, the one you don’t have and need to start on someday? You know: (from TheFamilyAlpha): What is it that you truly want? Remove what you think society has told you to say Remove your ‘honor’ What do you want right now and into the future? What is your vision? So why don’t you write out some ideas and we’ll help you refine it? Be concise, make it a three act play, three short paragraphs.… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

Also, just been going through the comments after reading this article – incredibly powerful stuff. I have had the fortune of not having been sucked into any BPD chicks (went on dates with one or two who may have been I dunno) but even without that personal connection – this is really powerful stuff. It reminds me a bit of when I read Rollo’s original Dream Girls and Dynamite post and then compulsively read all the comments (long before I started commenting myself) like a whole new world had opened up – where stuff happened that I had no idea… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Good story Jax. Thanks.

Stories like that are why the manosphere was invented.

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

@M Simon & Sentient – will post more later, but that’s a very interesting point – getting her to jump you. You need to be spot on sexualizing and building the tension to a point where she will do it. I’m in the very early stages of proto-gaming this with my recent (last few dates) experiences to get the girl to come kiss me herself..essentially you’re talking about an expanded version of that. That short Day 2/sex Day 3 is also a Blackdragon strategy – again, the trick is hitting the right level of tension on which to end the… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

Actually you know this thought has led to another interesting one: I think (Sentient I know you’ve said this before, but I’m seeing it in a new light) I’m spending too much time on my first dates. Typical (online girl) first date is about two hours. Usually get the kiss about an hour in on average (some variance but not a huge amount). Most of the sexual tension building – sexual stories, laser, cutting distance etc is in the FIRST hour. What am I actually getting out of the second hour with her post-kiss? Sure, some more comfort/rapport, some more… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Jax Love your story and you taking responsibility for you. If more guys did this, there would be a whole lot less posting and confusion. Personally I don’t buy the BPD thing to the degree that guys feel it. No doubt it exists and there are truly clinically crazy women out there (i.e. if you are in fear of harm.. well that’s a great sign) but mostly it is just women being women, being hypergamous, solipsitic sluts (and I mean this in the best way) and running into weak half-men and steamrolling them (Softek is exhibit 453678). But when you… Read more »

YaReally
YaReally
5 years ago

I don’t want to interrupt all this important arguing/flirting with Emily with some dumb ol’ PUA shit but… 😛 @Culum Struan “You need to be spot on sexualizing and building the tension to a point where she will do it.” “I’m mostly leaking value and losing attraction, like air from a balloon, and giving her more and more validation from the kissing? What YaReally calls “why would she want the milk if the cow is free” (or the other way round? THink I messed up that analogy lol).” Skip to 4:27 (the first 4 min Tyler and Julien are in… Read more »

redlight
redlight
5 years ago

It turns out that researchers are sneaking up to the idea that engaging a women’s emotions is useful Three studies examined gender differences in the effect of storytelling ability on perceptions of a person’s attractiveness as a short-term and long-term romantic partner. In Study 1, information about a potential partner’s storytelling ability was provided. Study 2 participants read a good or poor story supposedly written by a potential partner. Results suggested that only women’s attractiveness assessments of men as a long-term date increased for good storytellers. Storytelling ability did not affect men’s ratings of women nor did it affect ratings… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum – ” I’m simply enjoying the kissing and the company of a pretty girl myself, without looking at the strategic big picture.” well you are probably ego protecting here as well, and you are in scarcity so you are following the sunk cost fallacy, you don’t want to blow your “investment” in the one girl you are with by pushing it too soon and blowing out… But you are missing the really big picture in any event – which is you are the prize and she wants you to fuck her or she wouldn’t be there in front of… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Sentient – “The rest is really just price discovery… the “deal” is already done.”

Yup.

M Simon
5 years ago

Sentient May 25th, 2016 at 5:35 pm Why? Well it is something I wanted to do. I also wanted kids with her. The day I made up my mind on kids she said “Are you sure?” Yes. Fifteen minutes later she was pregnant. We both felt the spark. I can’t imagine anyone else having the temperament, understanding, and stamina to help her. And she turned out to be as crazy as I could handle. I tried some others along the way. She had one-itis for me which helped a LOT. As far as I can tell she was monogamous once… Read more »

YaReally
YaReally
5 years ago

@redlight “Study 2 participants read a good or poor story supposedly written by a potential partner. Results suggested that only women’s attractiveness assessments of men as a long-term date increased for good storytellers” Bet they would shit bricks at the results if those stories were purposely written with a bunch of DHVs laced in them. And then I bet they would shit even more bricks if the guy read the cat and the hat or says random words or simply says the alphabet but gives the girl deep laser eye-contact while slowly cutting the space between their faces as he… Read more »

M Simon
5 years ago

SJF – May 25th, 2016 at 5:36 pm

Do what thou will is the whole of the law.

Ajax Parallax
Ajax Parallax
5 years ago

@Softek From what I’ve read from what you’ve already written, it’s pretty clear to me that the person most in need of fixing is you. Forget, if you can, what she’s doing. I am not qualified to diagnose your GF-non-GF from your secondhand accounts – and wouldn’t try to do so if I knew her personally. I’ve had very painful experiences in my past trying to out-game mental illness. She is a harsh mistress and she bled me nearly to death through a woman I once loved very deeply but who simply could not be the wife I desperately wanted… Read more »

YaReally
YaReally
5 years ago

http://jezebel.com/amber-heard-files-for-divorce-from-johnny-depp-3-days-a-1778792879

Oh Johnny…no prenup. Dude.

“Heard is seeking spousal support, although Depp has asked the judge to reject this claim through his lawyer”

The wonderful ladies in the comment section are cackling with glee. Someone tell me again about how nurturing and caring they are and how I’m supposed to quit this girl-chasing and settle down expecting one to take care of me in my old age? lol

Lookin forward to Popp’s breakdown to join the graveyard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_vys0WuLg8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fukUTYuLZBI

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@ Sentient Wise words indeed. “Things in my life changed however when I finally took responsibility for my role in the relationship’s failure. It was my weakness, my ineptitude, my conditioning and failures as a man that allowed this to happen. When I faced the reality that I was the problem and not her, that is when everything changed for me.” No one can take your value, but you can give it away. That also was my redemption. Universal, fungible, actionable red pill game. It is not about her. It is about you. You improve yourself and she is welcome… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

@ All Please, if you’re vulnerable to it, for the love of Buddha, for the thousandth time, STOP PEDESTALIZING BITCHES!!!! Jesus fucking Christmas. Get a hold of your mind. Hb_whateverthefuck. Hawtyoung , top shelf, prime, valuable… STOP!!! They. Are. Just. Girls. Repeat. Do not Project shit on them until they’ve EARNED IT. And while I am at it, go fuck yourself Emily. This ^^^^ is the product that results from gassing up regular hoes. Sorry for the interruption, but it burns the hair on my nuts, the whole ” pussy solves all my problems ” meme. Humph!!! Woooo-saahhhh. Right. Back… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

Ahem.

The bpd subject matter induced me to recall some deep, dark shit that I do not think about at all.

I’m a little touchy and out of sorts momentarily.

So… uh… I may be temporarily prone to outburst.

No ill will intended brothers.

stuttie
5 years ago

sold two 1970’s strats chasing my ex of 10 years overseas….fuck I miss those strats.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Ajax “I’ve had very painful experiences in my past trying to out-game mental illness. She is a harsh mistress and she bled me nearly to death through a woman I once loved very deeply but who simply could not be the wife I desperately wanted her to be.” Once again, right out of Dr. Laura’s playbook. A myriad of callers ask “how do get her/him/my parents to change?” Dr. Laura: “They are mentally ill. They are not competent. They have squash for brains because they are mentally ill. Your prescription is to do X.” Depending on the questioners situ. Back… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

…but I meant the part about Emily going and fucking herself. That was heartfelt.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum Story time… so this was my proto game… Came about after doing the same exact thing a few times and noting the same responses… always been good at pattern recognition. This early repeatable experience kept me intellectually curious on “pick up” techniques and NLP. I remember watching the Mystery VH1 show a few times for this reason, when my wife wasn’t home. This was pre DVR days… Anyhow my proto game developed as follows.. it was late 1980’s at college. I had a sick off campus condo with a ridiculous view, a great balcony and the only stick of… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Blax

For your NYC tear up… try and spend late afternoon n the Standard Hotel beer garden in Tribeca…

comment image

Great spot that can get pretty intense in the daytime… and test your game.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@M. Simon

“Do what thou will is the whole of the law.”

You know that and I know that.

The problem is:

I don’t know if you have been following along with Softek.

Problem: He doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t know “what thou will is”. That is where we are here to help. To mentor the young guy.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Ahhh and the proto neg! used this all the time then to… “you know you could be a model… … … if you were taller”

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

SJF

“Makes my HSE, attractive wife a joy by comparison”

My good buddy’s wife killed herself after a few years into their marriage… few people even know he was married before. Retarded his development, he moved. remarried, but those many years are lost forever.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@YaReally May 25th, 2016 at 7:29 pm Nice sub-comms I call non sequitur on that. What are you trying to communicate. Wait don’t answer. I already know. @Sentient “My good buddy’s wife killed herself after a few years into their marriage… few people even know he was married before. Retarded his development, he moved. remarried, but those many years are lost forever.” What? Another non sequitur? You’re really going to have to explain your comment in relation to mine. I take it you haven’t seen as much crazy (psychological disease) your women as is evident in real life as other… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Blax: “No ill will intended brothers.”

+1

bluepillprofessor
5 years ago

One could argue I am an “expert” on personality disorders as I have four (4) academic publications on them. So let me just remind everybody that BPD is quite rare AND that EVERY woman (and man) exhibits some type of personality disorder. If you are not one you are another. If you are not pathologically anxious and uptight you are careless and irresponsible. If you are not a little bit paranoid (i.e. overly sensitive to others around you) then you are psychopathic (i.e. insensitive to others distress). Self diagnosing these things is usually a fools errand because ALL of us… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

SJF – You think my comment was adversarial? try it again tomorrow.

cheers.

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Sentient

“You think my comment was adversarial? ”

Not hardly.

I didn’t understand it.

Water Cannon Boy
Water Cannon Boy
5 years ago

The recent dating videos that YaReally linked up bring a few things to mind. The swept up in a wild time at the club fantasy all girls crave. The archetype middle school dance that has girls on one side, boys on the other and nobody does anything until one couple decides to dance, then the rest join in. And, as when I worked for a designated driver service, I see how the old trope of guys trying to get girls drinking got started. Johnny Depp. I don’t know if it was a tweet I saw or something in this blog,… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

As an HB9…

Now your just straight trollin…

Via Vitae
Via Vitae
5 years ago

@sentient, careful, her boyfriend’s in a gang.

http://i.imgur.com/L2KaDZm.jpg

Ajax Parallax
Ajax Parallax
5 years ago

@Blaximus “Do not Project shit on them until they’ve EARNED IT.” Man, ain’t this the truth. I just clicked on the above up-thread Madison PUA link (yes, you read that correctly), and he was telling his “students” he just wants to surround himself with “high quality women.” Can you please help me understand this? Determined from interacting with women from minutes to hours after first meet? I have been sussing this feisty available tall blue-eyed blond I’ve had on-off sexualizations with for the past two years and I’m still not willing to categorize her as *high quality*. @SJF “Back in… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
5 years ago

@yareally

How do you balance anonymity with getting bartenders and regulars to know you at a bar?

hank holiday
hank holiday
5 years ago

@ yareally, culum, quioxitic, blax, etc Was going to do more, but had to get stuff done for work. Got sidetracked dealing with those work related things. Had time for going out a bit, however I mostly just drove around in circles. Big problem I have is that there isn’t really any places I WANT to go, or people I really want to talk to. I can have a convo with pretty much anyone, but there are only a few people I’d want to see again or hang out with again. Its mostly foreigners I get along with best. People… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
5 years ago

About the post topic, I’m lucky not to have had much to do with any BDP. Did have one minor incident with a girl I worked with, I’ll call her Sally. Gave me shit, would tease her and just be ZFG and she would give in and be nice to me, complimenting me on anything I did and would help me out with things. But it was always shit first, then I would just tease her or push past, and THEN Sally was nice. I was sick for a while and was just generally more depressed. So I didn’t really… Read more »

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

Johnny Depp this deja vu: Sentient: “No one can take your value, but you can give it away.” Jax: “Things in my life changed however when I finally took responsibility for my role in the relationship’s failure. It was my weakness, my ineptitude, my conditioning and failures as a man that allowed this to happen. When I faced the reality that I was the problem and not her, that is when everything changed for me.” Ya, it’s predictable but not inevitable. Depends on desire level and skill level. You want something bad enough and you develop enough mastery, things might… Read more »

YaReally
YaReally
5 years ago


“Nice sub-comms I call non sequitur on that. What are you trying to communicate. Wait don’t answer. I already know. ”

jesus christ dude don’t tell me you think I’m making some kind of personal attack AGAIN. I have no idea what you’re talking about and my posts aren’t aimed toward you at all.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Re Johnny Depp… He is getting the better deal… he had her from 25 and now she is 30… No great loss. She ain’t getting prettier.

he appears to have some serious substance abuse issues to deal with anyhow.

Jimmy B
Jimmy B
5 years ago

Don’t ever do what a woman wants you to if you don’t want to do it. Ever! If you do she will never respect you for the beta chump you are, but if you instead be a real man and hold your frame she will be kept in her place and do as she’s told instead, including deep-throating you at your command. When a woman deep-throats you, it’s because you’re the Alpha who gives her the tingles. You can’t ask for it, but demand it, or just simply do it, gently at first of course, but nothing lets her know… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Jimmy B – hmmmm is this Emilyy?

M Simon
5 years ago

emilyy – May 25th, 2016 at 9:09 pm

Pictures please.

Via Vitae – May 25th, 2016 at 9:21 pm

Poseurs. Very funny. Those boys will get themselves killed if they start believing their own shit.

M Simon
5 years ago

Sentient – May 25th, 2016 at 10:15 pm

Substance issues in this culture are usually a sign of PTSD. They can also be a sign of more serious dysfunction. (as if PTSD was not serious enough)

emilyy – May 25th, 2016 at 11:21 pm

One good comment (according to you) is a contribution? BTW it was a lousy comment and ill formed.

Weakness is not a strength. Strength in a woman is the ability to surrender. Totally.

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Emily – Sweetie, do you miss the obvious arrogance and downright silliness of you telling us what the benefits of age and experience are? Also, HB9? LMFAO – we’ve seen your pix. I am so tempted to post a pic of my HB9 plate just to show you what such a woman looks like. Hint, in her case it includes D cups and being a size zero…Another hint, if you are an HB9 or better? Your experience of life is that you are constantly offered opportunities to earn and gain social status based on our looks, to the point where… Read more »

Craiger247
Craiger247
5 years ago

@scribblerg Well done my friend! Your point about “dominating and controlling” is spot on, I always enjoy your comments. Also, for any guy who thinks that a high SMV, Hollywood status, and uber Wealth allows you to be more beta,or “Game” isn’t needed, look no further than what is happening with Johnny Depp. Read the articles, they are laced with, “Amber railed on him, treated him badly”…beta and being submissive/appeasing kills a relationship faster than anything, he’s more proof. I wonder how poorly he feels now when his team of lawyers warned him to have her sign a prenup, and… Read more »

Softek
Softek
5 years ago

@ SJF, Ajax, scribblerg, YaReally, Rollo, Sentient, all Absolutely agree about me being the problem. Not that the relationship hasn’t been toxic at all, but I’ll sum it up like this: Whether it’s actual BPD or not, the main issue is me falling into her frame. Falling into a woman’s frame might be more dangerous with BPD, but even without BPD, it’s still dangerous. In the sense that it’s doomed to failure. In that sense, it doesn’t really matter if a girl is BPD or not. This is a very important point to drive home. Why? Because guys like me… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Softek: “Because guys like me . . . will rationalize to themselves that their relationship is great depending on the day.”

Softek
Softek
5 years ago

@ scrib I have been at least feeling unrestrained with flirting with other girls. Just not following through to the point of closing. So IOW, not unrestrained at all, lol. A big part of that is needing to brush up on Game. First night I got with the current GF I was on a roll and I never ran such tight game in my entire life, including fucking her like a champ. It was all in the matter of a couple hours and we went from just watching some TV show to me telling her to sit next to me… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Step 1

Softek: Hey, yeah it’s me. Listen, this thing isn’t working. I’m out.
Her: blaaaaaaahhhh blaaaahhhh blah
Softek: OK. Thanks. Take care of yourself.

Step 2. Hang up. Delete her number. Block her number.

Step 3. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE.

It is that simple.

Cp king
Cp king
5 years ago

Bpd i dont believe in it, i think just man’s fault we dont act like man it makes the woman go crazy .You got to be a mother fucker pimp and make every decision for her she will never be happier but if you didnt do at first your lost let her go

SJF
SJF
5 years ago

@Softer

Man to man, maybe I only said that when you were down. So you wouldn’t feel so down. When you sounded desperate. You no longer sound desperate.

Now you are plateau-ing.

That is normal after such an advance that you made last year.

But now my advice is to start really moving forward and upward when you get the strength, courage and the energy.

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago
Softek
Softek
5 years ago

@ kfg Exactly. Just trying to write these things out so they’ll stick in my head better. I didn’t even realize that’s what I was doing until I wrote it out. @ SJF Working on the business/life goals/etc. is priority #1. However, Maslow’s Hierarchy….sex is important to me. Having a GF has helped me indirectly because I’m not worried about sex. The relationship stress, as bad as it’s gotten at times, IMO, is nowhere near the stress I felt when I was incel. When I was incel, it was 24/7 adrenaline. It was horrible. I’m not so abjectly consumed by… Read more »

Softek
Softek
5 years ago

@ Adam “In my experience there is nothing you can say to a man in such a situation. It is our own personal hell and you can only get out by your own effort. I hope that he manages it and that he learns the lesson.” I partially agree with this. I do think that all the advice never goes to waste. Even if it takes a while to realize it, it’s still stored in there somewhere. Even posts I’d read a year before helped me when I finally got out on the field and got some hookups, even though… Read more »

Softek
Softek
5 years ago

@ YaReally “The irony of course is that the same way Boyfriend Destroyers work (when you insult the girl’s boyfriend, she’ll defend him and when you compliment the girl’s boyfriend, she’ll bring up his flaws), this article and the comments and warnings etc will probably end up just making Softek instinctively want to defend his girl and view us as not understanding and that she’s not THAT bad it’s “just when she drinks” and he’ll probably use the phrase “I only tell you guys about the BAD stuff so you don’t hear about the good times too” etc etc (all… Read more »

YaReally
YaReally
5 years ago

@Softek “This.” Like I say, the reason I can call out exactly what’s happening and predict where it goes is because we see your situation ALL THE TIME. It’s super unique and special to YOU but to us it’s like “ah shit, another one, here we go” lol “It’s funny because it’s the same pattern with the physical/emotional/sexual abuse I went through. I actually DENIED any abuse when I was in the mental hospital because I didn’t want to paint those people as ‘bad’ or cause trouble for them, or feel like I was slandering them.” It’s not that you’re… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Softie – Progress, not perfection buddy. But you are at a crux (in rock climbing most climbs have a very hard, scary, dangerous move or two that you can’t fuck up and we call that the crux) in your life. Thanks for sharing about the abuse, too, I can relate to every aspect of it. What I want to do is ask you what you’ve made that all mean? To yourself. My situation was different. My father fucking hated me. I finally get that now. He treated me like he hated me. Worst of all, he told me my entire… Read more »

scray
scray
5 years ago

@emily “Yeah, assuming. But that it isn’t always the case. You gotta work on the stuff that’s important to you early – and then it get’s better with age. You aren”t gonna get more confident if you don’t keep approaching.” ok but no one here is saying that all men no matter what improve with age. it’s pretty much just that, given social norms surrounding ‘being a man’ men are just much more likely to go down the path of skill development in their youth than women are. like, for example….even if a man at 20 doesn’t make a specific… Read more »

provdawgfire
5 years ago

TRM is on fire. Can’t stop reading your stuff man. Keep it up

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
5 years ago

@hank holiday – Good FRs in terms of taking action. But the main thing which jumped out me from reading them is that it isn’t productive for you to be focussing on the negatives (bars are all spread out, not many foreigners/girls you like around you, whatever). Like I get those are legitimate problems, but focussing on them instead of the positives (you’re going out, getting new reference experiences, taking action, and you should be thinking of changing your life circs in the way YaReally talks about – moving etc) isn’t helpful. I do exactly the same thing (watch how… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Softie – A little inspiration. Posted on FB by a post-wall, formerly very hot, single mom I’ve been gaming but haven’t fucked yet. Funniest part? How all the chodes and orbiters and Blue Pillers respond to her posts which are often sexual and crude. She never gets a word from me. I deal with her live and only use FB messenger to try and set stuff up with her. She’s single again so I think I will get a crack at all her holes, we’ll see She’s a tatted up whore, but petite with beautiful eyes and a wild attitude.… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
5 years ago

Culum

read some of Kant’s old FR’s. he had his place set up with no where to sit but on the bed, had his mood music queued up on the pc, just had to hit the button, had the lights set right etc.

Just a mattress can work though too… lol

Gordan001freeman
Gordan001freeman
5 years ago

Softeck I have been lurking for a few months after reading Rollo’s two books, so I wanted to comment to let you know that you have many invisible guys cheering you on and wanting to see you succeed. Your real-time journey gives us hope that we can do the same thing if we put in the tremendous effort and work required to unplug. Sadly, I am still stuck in the anger and depression phase as I am twice your age and this is an infinitely harder road to travel when you no longer have youth on your side. Be glad… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
5 years ago

” I think being married and monogamous is defacto Blue Pill. Just sayin’…Let’s see if we can take this thread down a different rathole! ” Not defacto. Not all men can pull marriage off successfully. Like everything else in one’s life, it will depend on the man’s mindset and just how vulnerable he is to pedestalizing women. I do not recommend marriage to most men, because they have pussy-weakness. This will harm any relationship one can foster with a mate, as well as other women. As I stated in the previous thread, women aren’t aliens. They aren’t ” gifts “.… Read more »

M Simon
5 years ago

scribblerg May 26th, 2016 at 10:40 am My Dad was like that. Always bragging about all the women he banged (to me). Funny enough when my n was obviously higher than his the bragging stopped. LOL. Another one was “I’ve done more shit than you will ever do”. When I got heavy into the 60s scene that stopped too. Later in life (a few decades) I actually got him to apologize. I am one determined SOB. But he was actually a man. And willing to change his bad habits. When forced to. LOL. But I was lucky. Some where deep… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Blax – In the future, I will make all my cautionary comments with the caveat “Except for Blax” as you are a man of steel…Lol. For the rest of us mere mortal pussy-beggars and alien fuckers, marriage is blue pill as shit…

M Simon
5 years ago

scray
May 26th, 2016 at 10:44 am

On learning new skills. We know why that decreases with age. Endocannabinoid production peaks in the 15 to 25 year age range. As that starts to decline the ability to learn new skills falls off. Thus the old “never trust anyone over 30”.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

Shut up Emily.

theasdgamer
5 years ago

@ Blax

Not defacto. Not all men can pull marriage off successfully.

It’s that shit that causes me to scroll past his comments.

scribblerg
scribblerg
5 years ago

@Blax – Correction: Monogamy is blue pill as shit.

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