Fempowerment

fempowerment

I’m often asked by ‘fempowered’ women critics whether I ‘believe‘ in some of the more socially acceptable tenets of feminism in some sort defense to the affront of my Red Pill lens being cast their way. It’s usually something to do with, “Do you or do you not think women ought to have the right to vote?” or the ever-reliable “Shouldn’t women have the right to do with their bodies what they choose?” These questions are always binary (“yes or no will do”) and usually couched in a context that implies that if you even slightly disagree or have a marginal caveat to answering ‘appropriately’ you’ll be dismissed with a name tag that has “misogynist” printed on it. Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man.

Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man. Up until recently, it’s been a very effective means of silencing uncomfortable truths about the Feminine Imperative.

I’ve always found it ironic that a movement (feminism) that predicates itself on the ostensibly egalitarian notion that rational, reasonable considerations of issues should lead us to ideals of equality is the first to reduce itself to unquestioned, blind faith binaries at the first sign of rational reasonable truth being unflattering to women. If you want to know who holds power over you, look at whom you aren’t allowed to criticise – or even hint at criticism.

My position on these and many other questions of the sort is usually met with simple observational analysis (as you’d probably expect). I don’t necessarily have a problem with women voting or even having access to legal (relatively safe) abortions. What I have a problem with is the latent purpose behind the reasons that led to women’s decisions to vote a particular way or the latent purposes that brought them to having that abortion. For the greater part, any dubious ‘right’ women feel they were somehow denied in the past usually comes at the expense of men being liable for decisions they had nothing to do with.

What I have a problem with is an expectation of lowering the standards of the game, thus fundamentally altering the game, to better accommodate the variable strengths and weaknesses of women – up to, and including, changing the very nature of women’s environmental realities that would endanger the wellbeing of both sexes. What I take issue with is the expectation of making men liable for the decisions and consequences of the rights and freedom of choices we’ve reserved for only women to make (almost unilaterally Hypergamic choices) that are not in men’s best interests.

I mentioned in Our Sister’s Keeper that men today find themselves in a very precarious position with regard to entertaining women’s perceived wrongs of the past. Men are expected,by default, to be held accountable, for no other reason than they were born men, for past injuries to the ever-changing Feminine Imperative. Your existence as a man today, your failed understanding to accommodate women’s social primacy, your lack of catering to the ambiguous nature of what conveniently passes for masculinity, is a constant stinking affront and obstacle to the “advancement” of women. The Feminine Imperative has known how to manipulate men’s Burden of Performance for millennia, and at not other time in history has it had the unfettered leisure to do so than now.

So, we get socially acceptable default presumptions of ‘male privilege’ without qualifying what it even means, or we get catchy jingoisms like ‘mansplaining’ to give a name to women’s need for silencing men’s inconvenient observations of women’s ‘correct’ perceptions, decisions and the reasons they came to them. We get default presumptions of male guilt for sexual assault and sexual consent as fluidly defined in as convenient a way that serves women’s imperatives. As I’ve mentioned before, the true intent of feminism has never been about establishing a mutually agreed ‘equality’, rather it’s always been about retribution and restitution for perceived past wrongs to the sisterhood.

There has always been a subtext, a cover story, of equality mentioned in the same breath as feminism. Only the most antagonistic asshole, only the most anti-social prick, would be against “equality between the sexes”. Thus, to be against feminism is to be against a simplistic concept of baseline equality. However, taken out of the propagandizing efforts to shame and ‘correct’ men’s imperatives, it’s easy to demonstrate that the true intent of feminism is female ‘fempowerment’ in the dressing of an equality that no man (or woman) wants to appear to be against.

Yellowed Pearls

I found an interesting example of this  Catch 22 in the Economist recently. Pick and choose: Why women’s rights in China are regressing.

In 2007 China’s official Xinhua news agency published a commentary about women who were still unmarried at the age of 27 under the title, “Eight Simple Moves to Escape the Leftover Woman Trap”. The Communist Party had concluded that young Chinese women were becoming too picky and were over-focused on attaining the “three highs”: high education, professional status and income. Newspapers have since reprinted similar editorials. In 2011 one said: “The tragedy is they don’t realise that as women age they are worth less and less, so by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old, like yellowed pearls.”

In the last Red Pill Monthly discussion, I mentioned the expansion that the Feminine Imperative has taken on a global scale. One of the old missives of the manosphere has always been about how American women are too far gone to be worth ever entertaining beyond a pump-and-dump consideration. They are too damaged and self-absorbed beyond all redemption, and men ought to expatriate to another country where women are more feminine or at least necessitous enough to appreciate a conventionally masculine man.

I get that. I understand the want for a Poosy Paradise or some promised land where women are still raised to respect and love men by being conventionally feminine. I also get that there exist certain cultures where this is still true, but for all of that, I think it’s important to recognize the social undercurrent that the Feminine Imperative exercises in these cultures. A popular meme on Twitter is ‘Feminism is Cancer’, but there’s a kernel of truth to the humor of this. The spread of the westernizing social primacy of the Feminine Imperative is spreading, not unlike cancer, into what we would otherwise believe were societies and cultures still oppressed by the mythical Patriarchy – a belief necessary to perpetuate the narrative of default female victimhood.

It may not be now, but at some stage, the Feminine Imperative will exercise its presumptive control over even the societies we think ought to be immune from that cancer. As I mention on The Red Pill Monthly, even in underdeveloped countries where we would expect to find the horrible oppression of girls and women, we make a triumphant example of the incidents of where girls (not boys) are taught to read and “think for themselves”. Westernized culture, founded on the Feminine Imperative, celebrates every time a woman in Saudi Arabia is allowed to drive a car, much less run a business on her own as if it were some blow against the tyranny of men.

Little by little, or in leaps and bounds, your second or third world Poosy Paradise will eventually be assimilated by the Feminine Imperative.

I bring this up because, as you’ll read in the linked article, China is also experiencing the long-term results of having adopted feminine social primacy in its own culture. From women’s popular consciousness, we’re still, to this day, told of how horrible “communist” China has been in mandating its one-child policy and how its draconian ‘sons live, daughters die’ social structure has been the result. However, once we reasonably investigate it, we find that China now has a problem with “Yellowed Pearls” as a result of a cultural shift that placed women’s interests as preeminent in that culture. And it should be noted that this shift came about as the direct result of the men who adopted and accommodated the Feminine Imperative as their own.

Now the problem for women in China is not unlike the plight of American women bemoaning the lack of men with “equal” marriageability as themselves. And likewise, the self-same social authorities responsible for institutionalizing the fempowerment of women are now the horrible misogynist villains for suggesting that women ought to lower their unrealistic standards.

The tone of these articles is surprising, given the Communist Party’s past support for women’s advancement. Mao Zedong destroyed China, but he succeeded in raising the status of women. Almost the first legislation enacted by the Communist Party in 1950 was the Marriage Law under which women were given many new rights, including the right to divorce and the right to own property.

Sounds a far cry different from the pictures women, even women in this century, have painted of China’s institutionalized, one-child sexism doesn’t it? Remember, this advancement in women’s rights took place before the Cultural Revolution in China.

Though collectivisation made the latter largely irrelevant, women played an active role in Mao’s China, and still do today. By 2010 26% of urban women had university degrees, double the proportion ten years earlier. Women now regularly outperform men at Chinese universities, which has led to gender-based quotas favouring men in some entrance exams. However, many of the earlier advances have been eroded in recent years by the gradual re-emergence of traditional patriarchal attitudes.

Consider this part in contrast to other industrialized nations and how women have increased their socio-political standing as the result of having the Feminine Imperative adopted as the primary social order of those cultures. Even in cultures that are still popularly deemed “repressive” to women we see educational and socioeconomic parallels to western(ized) cultures. We also see the same resulting consequences and the shifting of blame for them to men. The downside of Yellowed Pearls is placed at the feet of men for not living up to the convenient, feminine-primary definition of what their Burden of Performance ought to mean in promoting and forgiving women’s decisions.

The party has joined an alliance of property companies and dating websites to confront the issue. Government surveys on marriage and property are often sponsored by matchmaking agencies, and perpetuate the perception that being “leftover” is the worst thing that can happen to a woman. They also promote other myths, such as the idea that a man must have a house before he can marry.

As you may expect, the tone of the article is written to emphasize an egalitarian perspective that conflicts with a reality that the Feminine Imperative would have men change or be responsible for not having changed. It’s men’s fault that women might feel bad for not having married by a post-wall age. It’s men’s fault for promoting myths that women would expect that a man must be successfully established in his life and career before any considerations of marriage occur to him. It’s also a man’s fault for clinging to the “myth” that women don’t want him to be established.

The law is reflecting the shift away from women’s empowerment too. An interpretation by the Supreme Court in 2011 of the 1950 Marriage Law stated that, when a couple divorces, property should not be shared equally, but each side should keep what is in his or her own name. This ruling, says Ms Fincher, has serious implications. In the big cities a third of marriages now end in divorce but, based on hundreds of interviews, she finds that only about 30% of married women have their name on the deeds of the marital flat. Women believe the party hype about becoming a “leftover” woman so strongly, she says, that many rush into unhappy marriages with unsuitable men, made on condition that the brides agree not to put their name on the property deeds.

Feminism Would be a Success if Men Would Only Cooperate More

Several years ago Dalrock had a post detailing the sentiment of feminists that feminism would be a success if only men would cooperate with the ideology by abandoning their own interests and sublimating their own biological impulses. The fact remains that feminism and egalitarianism are failed ideologies because at the root level those ideologies ask men to participate in their own extinction. Not only this, but they ask men to raise successive generations to accommodate and participate in their own degradation.

The narrative expects Yellowed Pearls to be prized by men, or respected as Spinsters, or pandered to as ‘Cougars’ while still maintaining men sublimate their own imperatives by willfully ignoring the fact that their own sexual strategy is what is being asked of them to abandon. As I stated in the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies, for one sex’s strategy to succeed the other must either be compromised or abandoned – what better way is there to assure this for women than to socially mandate through shame, persecution or financial liabilities that men abandon their own strategy in favor of women?

For some time now, I’ve detailed how for the past 4 or 5 generations, there has been a popular social re-engineering effort to raise and condition boys to become the ‘better betas‘ – boys designed to become the supportive male-reinforcers of empowering women’s interests and imperatives.

For a greater part this effort has been primarily focused on boys and men in western society, and while it’s still open for debate, I’d say that westernizing cultures are really the only cultural environments that can afford to entertain this ‘fempowerment’. This is changing radically now if it was ever really the case to begin with.

In the manosphere we like to highlight the ‘pussification’ of modern men through various efforts on the part of a nebulous ‘socitey’ aligned against masculinity. However, the flip side to this is the fempowerment agenda; an feminine-primary social structure that disallows any criticism of inherently female nature while promoting the empowerment of women on every level of social strata.

We coddle and cater to the feminine in every aspect of social interaction, every aspect of academic achievement, every socioeconomic advantage inventable, every story we tell in every form of media and we do so under the threat of not being supportive or misogynistic for suggesting anything marginally pro-masculine. This is the other side of the demasculinization imperative of boys & men – the total consolidation of handicaping men and empowering women into unrealistic effigies of feminine triumphalism.

How do you counter this?

I’m always lauded for describing these social dynamics, but I’m run up the flagpole for not offering concrete ways of dealing with and pushing back on these imperatives. Many a MGTOW will simply suggest men no longer play the Game, that isolationism is the way to go, but this only serves to eventually concede power to the Feminine Imperative. You don’t get to check out of the Game even if you refuse to play it. For all the guys who left for parts unknown to find their demi-utopia of feminine women in a foreign country, even they will explain that the tide of feminism is changing those seemingly idlyic places. And for every guy to voluntarilly go celebate and “refuse to deal with women” I’ll show you a man whose tax dollars go to fund the consequences of women’s legislated rights to Hypergamous choice.

Sooner or later Men will have to confront and push back against both men and women who are convinced of their purpose in idealizing the dictates of the Feminine Imperative. A lot of men in the ‘sphere believe their being clever when they refer to people with this worldview as ‘SJWs’, but for every hair dyed, gender-confused man-woman you see on Twitter there are hundreds of ‘normal’ people who all share similar perspectives – some simply subconscious generalization they’re oblivious to – sitting next to you at church, or working in the cubicle next to you.

As I’ve mentioned countless times, the change needs to take place by appealing to the hearts and minds of Men by making them Red Pill aware from the bottom up, but moreover, we need to live out that awareness in our own lives and lead by Red Pill example. Our decisions in life, our aspiration in parenting, family and career, in our business dealings, in the women we Game and the people we hire, all of these aspects need to take on the perspective of how they fit into pushing back against a feminine-primary world that demands we surrender any thought of individuated male power.

As Men, we need to unapologetically exercise what little power we’re left with to inform this and successive generation of Red Pill truths tactfully, but with strength of conviction in the face of a feminine-primary society bent on our surrender. Life finds a way. Feminism and the consolidation of the Feminine Imperative have failed because Men were not evolved to acquiesce their dominant spirit. On the same evolutionary level women also evolved into requiring that convnetionally masculine dominance. This is why feminism and egalitarianism will ultimately fail – nature simply will not cooperate with it’s own stagnation. As men, we can use this truth to our Red Pill aware advantage.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

906 comments on “Fempowerment

  1. Apparently the well of admirers ran dry on 4chan …

    Seriously? I did not think that was possible.

  2. @Softek
    You have some fucked up views about sex/biology so I’m gonna just ask this flat out ’cause I’m curious:

    You understand that when dudes don’t orgasm, they get horny as fuck and the urge to orgasm becomes overwhelming, right? Like, porn or no porn if a guy is abstaining from fapping he goes through intense urges TO fap…like the first couple days after orgasming are whatever, often he doesn’t even care about girls/sex, and then it starts building up and then like a week or two of NoFap and the guy is clawing at the walls and full of frustrated energy and easily agitated and shit until he faps (or has sex) again.

    Like, you know that’s NORMAL, right? Ya his brain might go to “I should look up some porn on PornHub” but that’s more just because it’s a convenient outlet for taking care of that 100% natural urge that builds up. (and for younger dudes this can all happen over the span of a few hours/days instead of like a week lol I have a pretty chill sex drive compared to some of my buddies who in a couple days/hours are where I’m at after a week)

    I’m just making sure you know that this isn’t like, the devil taking over you or Weak Sinners Juice building up in you or some weird religious shit lol This is 100% normal. It’s why in Rocky, Mickey says no women before the fight ’cause women weaken legs. For a lot of dudes after they jizz they enter lazy time and lose that pent up energy edge that could be handy in a fight.

    No idea on porn addiction but I’ll say this much: if you have pussy LINED UP to suck your dick, a girl right in front of you touching your cock and saying “baby I want this in my mouth so fucking bad” and you’re turning those girls down to fap to porn, then ya, that’s probably a porn addiction.

    But if you’re a dude who has no real access to sex and you’re fapping away for 8 hours a day to porn, in my mind you’re just a horny dude with no outlet for that horniness who’s finding a really low effort way of solving it (and because it’s low effort it’s easy to get caught up in spending all day on it or turning to it frequently because it’s right there for free on your computer 24/7).

    Like if you’re some dude with a fat ugly wife and you turn her down for porn, you’re not porn-addicted, you’re a guy who’s horny like he naturally is SUPPOSED to be and you just don’t have an outlet for taking care of that because your wife is “doing it” for you.

    I’m pretty skeptical that any guy with porn addiction would turn down a busload of hot 18yo college cheerleaders all begging to suck his dick, to go look at PornHub.

    I’m not saying you, specifically, Softek, should be looking up Porn (really you should be hitting stripclubs and shit with live human girls to help normalize sex), although it would probably help you escape this shitty damaged chick before she gets preggers and locks you down, but like, I’m pretty skeptical of the porn addiction thing. I don’t have a McDonald’s problem because I eat their shitty cheap hamburgers all the time, I have a “don’t have access to a delicious steak dinner” problem lol

    That all said, if it helps get a guy to go out or be productive, then cool, NoFap it up. I avoid porn/fapping from like Wednesday on or I won’t have the sex drive to care about picking up girls lol

    I just hate guys being misdiagnosed with some “problematic” addiction/disease when they’re really just normal dudes. I went through a lot of shameful feelings built up around sex that I had to get over when I started out, most FI-raised guys do.

    @Pallaeon @Softek
    Like I hate that guys with ugly fat wives get diagnosed with ED like THEY’RE the problem, when they have no problem fapping to PornHub…if you can get hard for PornHub then there’s SOMETHING MENTAL going on keeping you from getting hard for your chick, whether it’s that she’s ugly or that she’s smokin hot and you’re pressuring yourself too much like performance anxiety or she’s demanding (or you IMAGINE she is) and you feel too pressured to focus on the pleasure or she’s totally cool and you just have baggage from other times you couldn’t perform built up and worry that it’ll happen again and again take your mind off the pleasure or whether she MAKES you feel shitty about sex like it’s begrudging sex or whether you’re thinking about competing with her past lovers or worrying that she’s judging you and will tell her friends etc etc

    I say deal with THAT shit (even if it means upgrading to hotter women) instead of writing yourself off as damaged and blaming porn. If you can feel 100% comfortable and confident with a busload of your personal 10/10 cheerleaders stroking your dick and making you feel super comfortable and safe and relaxed and not judged without a care in the world fully focused on the pleasure, and you STILL can’t get hard, then okay, you have legitimate ED. Like if you can meet a stripper who makes you feel totally safe and non-judged and flirts with you and turns you on and SHE can get you hard, but you couldn’t get it up for that 10 in your bed the other day, you probably don’t have ED, you probably were just worried about performing and over-stressing yourself mentally to get hard and running panic thought-loops about disappointing this super hot 10 and for multiple reasons didn’t feel mentally as safe and chill fully enjoying the moment as you did with that stripper who helped create that feeling for you (and the same feeling you have when you’re PornHubbing it up by yourself where you don’t have to worry about performing or anything and are mentally fully focused on the pleasure and looking up girls you think are hot etc).

    I think a lot of dudes don’t realize that it’s not just girls’ orgasms that are mental. Dudes’ are too. If your brain is stuck in stressed out thought-loops about performance and shit and it veers off into “oh god it’s not getting hard why isn’t it getting hard c’mon oh god what’s she thinking she must think I’m so lame fuck c’mon I need to get hard ahhhh!!!!” territory in the back of your brain, like, you’re not gonna get it up lol

    A LOT of guys report that they don’t even CUM the first time they have REAL sex. Because there’s SO MUCH PRESSURE they end up jackhammering away for half an hour dying for it to happen, to validate their worth FINALLY losing their virginity, and all that pressure makes them unable to actually climax. But no one wants to admit THAT in public lol

    “Same here. I will say though that I did find getting a few lap dances at strip clubs helpful in alleviating some of my sexual shame and anxiety. I think the big difference is having an actual person there in front of you, and you can see it’s not really a big deal for the girl. Like ya, it’s work for her, but it’s not like she’s on the verge of breaking down and crying “help, his objectifying gaze is oppressing me!” It’s just a job that can be annoying sometimes, and sometimes they actually seem to enjoy it.”

    Right, this is why I’m specifically recommending Softek hit up Chaturbate for porn and stripclubs, VS like, pre-recorded stuff on PornHub. Chaturbate is all cam girls (and couples and shit if you’re into that, like in terms of understanding how not a big deal sex is it can help to be like “holy shit all these couples not only ENJOY porn together but actually set up webcams and shit streaming themselves…meanwhile my girl won’t even let me LOOK at another girl??? These couples seem normal and happy, maybe my relationship ISN’T that great after all…”) who just WANT to be sexual putting up cams. Even strip clubs these days, ya you’ll meet a lot of fucked up girls still, but a lot of them are just doing it for fun because if they JUST care about the money they could do webcam etc with way less risks/hassle, so they’re working specifically at a stripclub because they like talking to people and the exercise etc

    I mean, they’re still fucked up, but I’m not saying go DATE them, I’m just saying it can be good to spend some time interacting with them and flat out ASKING them about sexual stuff and seeing REAL LIVE GIRLS admitting that sex is fun and cool and not a big deal. And then you see COUPLES, at the STRIP CLUB, and you think “man, this guy and girl look happy together and on their date they came to a stripclub to look at hot girls together and get lapdances together…and MY girl would blow up my phone telling me I’m a dirty fucking pig who disgusts her for even walking INTO a stripclub…wtf??” and it forces you to ask yourself some pretty uncomfortable questions about your relationships lol

    Did I walk into pickup thinking “I’m gonna have multiple fuckbuddies who all know about eachother and I’m going to have relationships where the girl knows I’m fucking other girls but she only fucks me!”? Fuck no. I had the exact same LTR goals and dreams that Softek has. But over the years of EXPOSING MYSELF to more and more girls and more and more people who are cool with sex in general (like infield you’ll just naturally eventually meet all sorts of people, from strippers to swingers to people in open LTRs to players with harems to girls with harems to lez/bi chicks to fetish scene people etc), I realized that other guys were in LTRs with girls that let them do WAY MORE FUN STUFF than I ever imagined girls would let a guy do (because I was picturing the unicorn good girl who thought sex was shameful like I did).

    Like I had NO IDEA these mindsets even EXISTED out there until I went out and was exposed to them and realized that some of the stuff I saw other people doing (like you assume swingers must hate eachother or have problems, and then you meet a couple who’s super into eachother as fuck and find out they’re also swingers and it’s like wait what but what about monogamy how can you two look more “in love” than most of the mono couples I know but be fucking other people wtf IS this?? and then you meet swingers who DO hate eachother and who ARE in a problem situation and you learn the world isn’t black and whtie).

    That’s why I say Softek doesn’t even KNOW what he wants right now. What he wants is what society and his upbringing programmed him to think he wants. The very fact that he didn’t go “okay let’s LTR up into monogamy then!” with this chick who’s demanding it says that there’s a conflict between what he thinks he wants and what his instincts are telling him he wants. He won’t figure that shit out till he has a few years infield meeting and fucking a bunch of women and learning what EXACTLY makes him happy.

  3. YaReally to Softek
    … then like a week or two of NoFap and the guy is clawing at the walls and full of frustrated energy and easily agitated and shit until he faps (or has sex) again.

    Or he has a really interesting dream and wakes up with sticky sheets. Sperm cells have an age limit, and the reproductive system generally will empty the prostate one way or another for much of a man’s life post puberty, to make space for newer and fresher sperm cells. It’s gonna happen, one way or another.

    The Victorian era was big on no – fap. There was all sorts of horrrrible things that were supposed to happen to men who masturbated too much, including insanity. Probably could dig around the world and find some old books explaining how, but not worth the effort. But go look up George Kellogg (yah, breakfast cereal guy) and see some of his 19th century ideas, some of which probably hung on until the 1950’s or 60’s in some corner of the world.

    How an ejaculation in a man’s sleep is “good” but an ejaculation done intentionally is “bad” in a physiological way is a mystery to me. There are religous teachings that fapping is bad, but physically it’s like a lot of other things – why / how often / how / etc. Caffeine occurs naturally in some plants, but drinking enough caffeine to cause heart palpitations is clearly not a good idea. Heck, drinking enough water to put your electrolytes out of balance isn’t good, either.

    Some of those ideas still echo around western culture to this day, in more conservative subcultures.

  4. @Rollo
    “I picked it up from Roosh’s thread. Apparently there’s still some speculation that Boxxy is Shoe’s younger net persona.”

    RVF is the Jezebel of the Manosphere, they do the same level of research there and like to just post click-bait to get upset about lol

    Shoe’s been getting the Boxxy accusations since she entered the whole anti-feminism scene and literally a one second google search clears up that they’re not the same people. Again, the original Boxxy was still making videos while Shoe was rising up in popularity, they are 100% not the same person lol

    “I took Karen out of mod. Still not convinced she’s Shoe, but I’ll put her on probation for now.”

    Oh I’m sure Karen is a troll, don’t get me wrong. I would keep her banned. But I don’t think she’s SHOE. Shoe’s Twitter had her like off banging her boyfriend and shit when Karen was posting, that was why I was like “what exactly IS the evidence?” ’cause there were no screencaps of anything here on her feed and she posts her trolling there for her fans to lol at (like the Aurini skull stuff).

    That’s why I was asking though. I mean guys can hate on Shoe I don’t care, but when guys are posting “hey Karen nice fucking video you dumb slut look at Karen!!!” and picking apart her videos and I can’t post a relevant Shoe vid because she’s blacklisted it’s just a huge facepalm. We look like the bunch of out of touch parent’s basement crotchety bitter old men who don’t understand the Internet and modern times, that haters make MRAs/Manospherians out to BE lol

    If Shoe WASN’T planning to make fun of the Manosphere, she sure as shit WOULD BE posting a vid making fun of us after seeing that uproar in that Karen comment section. And it would be 100% deserved for not doing 5 min of proper research before loading up the hate train lol

    Also her Twitter feed is funny as fuck. Highly recommend it. I don’t care if she “grows out” of anti-feminism down the road, she provides the lolz hardcore right now.

    Also WB. lol

  5. @Anonymous Reader
    “Or he has a really interesting dream and wakes up with sticky sheets”

    Right, forgot that happens lol I have a Natural buddy who never looks at porn or faps. Because he has multiple girls lined up all week long to fuck him, he doesn’t NEED porn. If THAT guy turns down all these girls dying to suck his dick to fap to porn, then ya, ok, I’ll say he has a porn addiction.

    But some dude who’s starving to death and keeps pigging out at the free buffet isn’t a dude with an “eating problem”, he’s a dude with a “not enough food available” problem. Guess what I think THAT dude needs to be doing…….. 😉

  6. Eh, wrong Kellogg. I meant John Harvey Kellogg, inventor of corn flakes. Corn Flakes were invented as part of his health regimen to prevent masturbation. His belief was that bland foods would decrease or prevent sexual arousal.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg

    Some of his ideas, such as the importance of intestinal flora, are actually quite good and scientific. Others…not so much, and that may well be part of Softek’s background.

  7. YaReally
    But some dude who’s starving to death and keeps pigging out at the free buffet isn’t a dude with an “eating problem”, he’s a dude with a “not enough food available” problem.

    Yup.

    Somewhere or other I suggested that if culture and law forced married women to eat only the food their husband gave them, in his presence, and it was routine after a birth or two for a man to cut her back to 1,000 calories a day, there’d be a huge uproar. But a woman cutting her “till death do us part” AFC back to an I.V. drip of starfish sex? Situation normal. Unless he takes the Red Pill, which is not medially approved…

    It’s a control issue, pure and simple. Like Bill Burr says in one bit, “What are you doing in there? Are you having fun? Let me in so I can ruin it!”

    Easy way to test it – anyone ever have a fit over women’s porn, like that Goodreads stuff Blaximus mentioned a while back? Nah. Case closed.

  8. Hey, Ya..

    Easy on the ” old guys don’t get the super cool, sweet tech ” stuff. Lol. Hurtz muh feelz since I work in the sweet, cool, nee tech field. Understand fully. Just call electronic bullshit on the effects of SM. It hurtd more than it help. Both sexes.

    Some of us remember life before all of the tech….and adhd diagnoses….and mass shootings…. And guys having trouble socializing in large numbers…..and playstation/xbox playing 30 year olds with no life direction.

    New isn’t always better. Some of us old guys know better.

  9. @ Pellaeon

    I wonder if premature ejaculation is a potential side effect of too much porn. It’s not the norm (ED is from what I’ve read), but I have read some cases of that, and I feel like I have it really bad. If I could get over that hurdle I think I’d feel a lot more confident. It could be too soon to tell (the last time I went on it was a couple weeks ago or something like that), and I have had times that I felt I had a lot of control (though not complete).

    But having complete control is one of my goals. I feel like I should at least have mastery over my own mind and body. Kind of a bigger metaphor, like, how can I expect to be dominant and lead any woman in any relationship if I can’t even control myself?

    @ newlyaloof

    “the more you consume , the more beta your brain will become. The less you consume, the more alpha your brain will become.”

    That’s how I’ve been thinking. For guys that are freaked out by porn or have some serious issues with watching it, it could help turn them around to get over it.

    For someone who’s indulged excessively in it, and as an excuse to not learn and apply social skills/Game etc., ditching it could help. I did have a long period where I wantonly went on porn and decided to be guilt free about it, and I was.

    But I’d still feel like shit after whacking off so much. Just like a videogame hangover. Level grinding in RPG’s feels great for a while, but then when you’re done it’s this sense of wasted time like “what the fuck did I just do.”

    Even bashing my head against the wall over some business related project feels better than that, and even if I don’t make much progress. I just translate my videogame experience to real life and think of it as level grinding in real life, lol.

    Same really could apply to Game. And everything else. You don’t start out at level 99.

    And in videogames, you’re objective. I’ve never complained about a game being hard. You look up tutorials online if you need help, then you just emulate that, do your best to come up with your own strategies and keep at it until you win.

    Real life is just better because there’s no level cap. Adapting this mentality helps me get motivated too. Whether it’s learning how to use a new tool and buying one for the workshop, or spending 12 hours in a row working on building a new tool, or coming up with a solution to some problem, the results add up and you just get more and more experience and more mastery.

    Funny how emotional buffers get in the way of seeing things that clearly. But when you’re behind the screen as a fictional character there’s no real risk of loss. You don’t have any skin in the game. It gets a little more uncomfortable when you’re in person.

    But in reality, I don’t think it has to be much different. It’s called “simulated reality” for a reason, lol.

    And how many guys have completely succumbed to porn and videogames? I’d say that’s the VAST majority of guys currently in their teens and 20’s.

    @ Blax

    Thanks for the support, by the way. I appreciate it. And also @ YaReally and the rest. It’s not easy for me to face this shit but it’s better that I hear what’s really going on.

    We all have relapses, but I do feel better about how I’ve cut back on smoking lately, cut out drinking SEVERELY (I hardly ever drink anymore), and while the spinning plates deal is still out of my current skill set/comfort zone, I at least have gotten more confident taking on harder jobs for customers, and even putting myself out there for more people to find me.

    Porn withdrawal feels very real to me too btw. The urges are insane. I get so many of them every single day it takes 100% focus and self control to NOT bust one out to porn.

    Are there guys who use it and don’t have issues with women? Sure. A lot of NoFap guys talk about face fucking and dirty talking and rough sex as negatives, like it’s abusing women.

    That’s white knighting. I’ve done a lot of that shit and women LOVE IT. They crave it. See: Fifty Shades of Grey, or all that Dinosaur Erotica on Amazon, lol.

    So I think all that is BS Blue Pill nonsense.

    I was watching some guy’s vids on YouTube, and he seemed really great, really real, about NoFap. But then he got into how the Bible says we should never have sex unless we’re doing it to procreate, and I was like……OK, well, that just ruined everything, lol.

    Baby and the bathwater and all.

  10. softek
    But having complete control is one of my goals. I feel like I should at least have mastery over my own mind and body. Kind of a bigger metaphor, like, how can I expect to be dominant and lead any woman in any relationship if I can’t even control myself?

    This.

    But I’d still feel like shit after whacking off so much. Just like a videogame hangover. Level grinding in RPG’s feels great for a while, but then when you’re done it’s this sense of wasted time like “what the fuck did I just do.”

    This.

    We get a little T boost from winning something. Games give us the illusion of winning something. Just like p0rn gives us the illusion of sexing some woman. But it’s all an illusion, it’s not real. Leveling up in an RPG or taking over the world in old Cilvilzation is just “beating” a program. Our brains, at a certain level, can’t quite tell the difference.

    We can distract ourselves to death without too much difficulty.

  11. @ Blax

    re: old guys

    I was hanging with my near 70 y/o friend today, the 1200+ N count guy. He needed help with his computer.

    As I’m working on it, I need to access a program I downloaded. It’s in the downloads folder. Lo and behold there are like 500 porn videos in the download folder, lol.

    He goes, “Hm. I don’t know where that came from. It must be a computer virus or something. You know, those damn things are everywhere these days. I’ve never seen all of this before.”

    Rofl

    He’s still got plenty of women chasing him. I don’t really think he gives a fuck anymore. He still does all right at his age. Never had any ED problems or anything in his life and is still going strong. I swear I’ve been with him when he’s gotten serious IOI’s from chicks my age. He looks like he’s in his 40’s and has lied about that to women at bars before and hooked up with them. Gets along just fine. Gives me hope, haha. He’s definitely the single most positive male influence I have in my life and he’s rubbed off on me probably more than I’m aware of.

    Hearing him talk without any shame at all, and pretty much randomly, about women he’s been with, and pretty vivid details about how they had sex, foreplay, etc., and descriptions of their bodies, like this could be an erotic fiction novel from a PUA standpoint, lol, has opened me up quite a lot.

    @ YaReally, rest

    Getting some work done as of now, really excited to read those comments though, hope I can get to that after I’m done, thank you a lot, as always, for the help/support/advice

  12. softek
    We all have relapses, but I do feel better about how I’ve cut back on smoking lately, cut out drinking SEVERELY (I hardly ever drink anymore),

    Lemme congratulate you on cutting back the drinking. That’s not always easy, but the sooner done, the easier. And now you know how do to it, so if you drift back into it sometime, you know the way out, right?

    BIology of Desire is your book, man. Look, the neural pathways to do X or Y or Z to lessen anxiety is there, just redirect it to something else.

    Lift free weights, nothing heavy, get 5 or 8 pounds and do three sets of curls; I know men who do that stuff in the middle of a cube farm. Gets them up out of the chair, slightly increases blood flow, increases T a little bit, etc.
    Or go walk 30 min. Or run. Or pushups. Something that will help you, mind and body. A yoga pose, if you have privacy.

    It’s really easy for us now to hide in a phone (see “Garden Gnomes”) or laptop. Don’t. Do something else, just 3 sets or 5 min.

  13. “Eh, wrong Kellogg.”

    But wait! Don’t order yet, they were BOTH right.

    George was the estranged, adopted son of John Harvey, who invented the cornflake, but George actually is the guy who started the breakfast cereal company (which was part of their estrangement). And at the root of it all was Sister White, the girl who “heard voices” and founded the 7th Day Adventists.

    And they don’t come much estranger then Graham, Kellogg and White but a number of people tried harder. For a longer read than the Wikipedia articles, the best general overview book is The Nuts Among the Berries, by Ronald M. Deutsch.

    I can’t find a good link to a pdf, but here’s the Amazon page of a revised edition:

    http://www.amazon.com/New-Nuts-Among-Berries/dp/091595009X

    99 44/100% of what most people think of as “healthy eating” came from Graham, Kellogg and a few other nut jobs of the time. It was designed to make you weak, effeminate and with T levels flushed right down the toilet.

    Throw out your granola, even if it comes packaged as an “Energy Bar,” and eat some real goddam food.

  14. One more before I head out for a while:

    Just a couple years ago he had a hookup with some 20 something. Clothes come off, they start going at it, and then boom — car starts pulling up in the driveway.

    Her boyfriend was apparently in the military or something, she said he had a gun. As he was pulling into the driveway she said he should probably get out of there fast.

    Whether she was making that shit up or not just because she didn’t want to get caught cheating, we’ll never know. But having had a gun pointed at his head earlier in his career for real he probably didn’t want to take any chances, lol. Of course, she also didn’t mention anything about having a BF to him before they went back to her house.

    He ends up climbing out the window at like 2am in his underwear. He’s out on the roof in the moonlight putting his pants on, and he’s trying to figure out how to get down. There’s no easy way in sight.

    He sees a bush in the corner, and just decides to jump off the roof. He lands in the bush, manages not to get too fucked up, but one of the branches jams up his pant leg.

    So after doing a little finagling he manages to get his pants free, and then he makes a break for his car, which he said he parked a little ways away from the house, which ended up being a good idea. Lol.

    That and the story about how two days before his wedding back in the day he hooked up with some 18-19 year old and then broke things off by telling her he got a new job and was moving out of state or something.

    He’s joked multiple times about how “the good die young,” and him and his best friend have told each other that means if that’s true, they’re both going to live forever.

    Makes me laugh just thinking about it. I’m really lucky for having met him, but at the same time, I made the effort, and I have to keep that in mind. It’s a relationship I CHOSE to build up, and he’s ended up being one of the absolute best friends of my entire life. And continues to be. The divorce took a huge toll on him and he appreciates me driving him places he needs to go, doing grocery shopping with him once in a while, and he always is a good friend and gives me some money for gas and my time too, whereas other friends I had would just capitalize on me being nice and take advantage of me, expect me to do shit for free and have no remorse about it, etc.

    Anyway, off for now, getting rid of procrastination should be next on my list, lol.

  15. @Rollo,
    Thanks for the heads up and link on Sommers. As I watched the video I wondered about her and if she was a female token anti-feminist.

    Milo was funny as hell.

  16. @Rollo
    Also for real send that group a free copy of your books. If you can get ANYONE in that anti-feminism/anti-SJW crowd (Shoe, Armored Skeptic, Sargon, etc) to check it out they’ll probably give it a fair review/mention if they like it. They’re pretty open to opposing logical viewpoints and discussion (Sargon does interviews with all kinds of guests from all kinds of backgrounds/ideologies/etc) and your work is some of the most RATIONAL (HURR DURR) writing on the Manosphere that isn’t full of overreactive “WOMEN ARE PREDATORS TRYING TO TAKE MUH RESOURCES” negative weird shit and most of them are semi-red-pill (more purple pill, but like, that’s to be expected outside of the sphere).

    I can’t imagine Sargon wouldn’t do a very fair/open interview/livestream with you and Skeptic has dealt with a crazy psycho bitch (his ex blew up all over that scene recently trying to smear him and false accuse him of shit) so like, your books are probably gonna resonate with them or at least be interesting to read/debate.

    And their audiences are going to be the most receptive to the stuff you write about in terms of mainstream mass audiences, ’cause their fans are rebelling against this whole feminist/SJW culture (VS an Oprah crowd that would reject you and your writing).

    Someone like Rollo has too much negative baggage tailing him for them to listen to him and MGTOWs make themselves look like creepy weirdos with all their rambling angry videos, that’s the only real reason they make fun of those guys, it’s easy lolz.

    But you could hit a pretty huge audience that’s open to reading your stuff if you’re able to put away the inaccurate Shoe hate (since she’s not the one that was trolling us, like she should have a clean slate with you in your mind) and go tap into that market.

    Ya they aren’t full red pill, and they’re not GOING to become full red pill, and some of them might have other viewpoints or motives that aren’t awesome (I like Hoff Summers but more just for her Factual Feminist series and how she handles the SJW haters, I don’t really care about her other stuff ’cause those vids themselves are helping convert people and all I care about is getting guys off the plantation right now, if Sarkeesian herself put out a vid quoting Rollo on Hypergamy and it all aligned with proper red pill shit I would link it to guys lol), but everyone in that scene drops a lot of red pill stuff in their content, that’s why I throw it on my headphones at work.

    I’m no marketing strategist genius but that’s what I’D do lol They have direct access to the next generation of teenagers and early-adult men to spread ideas to and WAY bigger fanbases than anyone in the Manosphere (guys in the Manosphere with big fanbases have big fanbases of already-converted people).

    @Blaximus
    “Easy on the ” old guys don’t get the super cool, sweet tech ” stuff. Lol.”

    lol <3 My point is just that like, like some 45yo guy who's been divorced raped and is working 2 jobs to pay alimony and venting about his frustrations tend to not be reading Shoe's Twitter feed and understanding how Tinder has actually changed things in terms of the whole sexual "battlefield" or how webcam culture has grown or following reddit/GamerGate/etc Like ya you work in tech, but do you know the young kids' culture around it? Do you know what GamerGate was about or who, say, Candace Owens is and what her relevance this week is, or how Twitter has put Anita Sarkeesian on their "safety council" and how reddit is being censored by SJWs and how the general reactions on places like reddit or comment sections on articles are reacting to false rape accusation stories or what 8chan is what Nero is out there doing, what Rebel Media and Gavin/Lauren are doing there, etc?

    I follow this stuff 'cause it's fun junk food for my brain (I'd rather read discussions and shit on the internet in my spare time than play x-box or watch sports or netflix or get high or whatever guys do lol) and infield I run into a lot of the <25yo crowd where you can see some of these influences reflected (like seeing the Tinder match list of a hot 21yo and understanding how that's different than, like, Plenty of Fish pre-smartphones was and what effects that's had on pickup and the SMP etc).

    I'm not hating, it's just like, "this girl ran out of an audience on 4chan so now she's here to manipulate a new audience into believing her lies she doesn't actually believe this stuff she's just after our resources" shows like, WILD lack of understanding of current internet culture. Which is totally understandable, old guys got other shit to do, if I had a wife and kids I probably wouldn't bother reading this shit myself.

    But TO that culture, the Manosphere/MRAs/etc recording their shitty potato-quality videos and their awkward "Can you hear me?? How about now?? Women are stupid bitches!!" angry Google chats and like, Aurini and Roosh's super-awkward attempts at frame controlling a shit-posting girl who's tooling circles around them, it looks like a bunch of out of touch old akward dudes who don't understand tech and are behind current culture.

    "New isn’t always better. Some of us old guys know better."

    OK GRAMPA

    @Softek
    "I wonder if premature ejaculation is a potential side effect of too much porn"

    lol who knows, who cares man. It happens. Just say "shit, you're just too damn hot ;)" or blame "lol it's 'cause I haven't fapped in a week and then you come around being all sexy, I'm surprised I even lasted THAT long" or "whoops lol that's what happens when you tease me all night in that dress, when we were at dinner I was rock hard checking you out" Boom. Problem solved. Girls love thinking they're so sexy and had you so turned on that you blew early. Then you just make up for it next time, no biggie.

    I've had the opposite too, not being able to finish. I just say "whoops must be the booze lol" or "it's cause I fapped like 3x today I knew I shoulda' waited but PornHub called to me lol" or "whew, shit, no don't worry it's not you, I'm just wiped from work" or "ya don't worry about it, I just take a while to finish, here lemme take over give your arm a rest, come up here and nibble my neck and talk sexy" and rub it out yourself and get her to finish you or blow your load on her, whatever, and make up for it next time, no big deal they don't REALLY care.

    But again guys don't realize their ability to orgasm is mental and we have all this societal bullshit (from guys who DON'T GET LAID) scare-mongering guys into being terrified that they might not have a perfect flawless sexual performance and should be ashamed and the girl will laugh at them and tell all her friends and never come back again etc etc and it gets in our head and we freak out and panic when in reality girls don't give a shit at ALL if you just hold your frame that it's no big deal.

    "But I’d still feel like shit after whacking off so much."

    lol again this is pretty natural man. Even Louis CK has a routine about the instant you finish cumming and are like "oh god what am I doing with my life" and feel ashamed and shitty lol Not saying you weren't wasting your time or anything, but again you've been programmed with some fucked up views so I want to make sure you understand that this is a NORMAL THING that happens and not like, the devil consumed you and you should feel bad that you fapped. As long as you understand those things about your body, and make those decisions with that understanding, cool.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kkt-mttjL8k&t=55s

    There's a reason everyone laughs at that joke lol

    "Porn withdrawal feels very real to me too btw. The urges are insane. I get so many of them every single day it takes 100% focus and self control to NOT bust one out to porn."

    Again like, this is pretty normal if you aren't fapping. You said earlier that you try to go like two weeks without fapping. Almost NO GUY gets to two weeks with no orgasm and NOT thinking "holy fuck do I want to look at porn or something right now I am so fucking horny" It's not necessarily the porn, the porn is just a free convenient outlet to take care of that natural horniness that builds up.

    I'm just going over this because I have no idea what you've been taught about your body/urges/etc but I've met dudes with some seriously fucked up belief systems programmed into them that they've had to unwire lol

  17. @ Softek

    Some new agey stuff,the four agreements,excerpts.

    “The domestication is so strong that at a certain point in our life we no longer need anyone to domesticate us.We don’t need Mom or Dad,the school or the church to domesticate us.We are so well trained that we are our own domesticator.We are an autodomesticated animal.We can now domesticate ourselves according to the same belief system we were given,and using the same system of punishment and reward.”

    ” How many times do we pay for one mistake?The answer is thousands of times.The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for one mistake.The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make.But not us.We have a powerful memory.We make a mistake,we judge ourselves,we find ourselves guilty,and we punish ourselves.If justice exists then that was enough;we don’t need to do it again.But every time we remember we judge ourselves again,we are guilty again and we punish ourselves again,and again,and again.If we have a wife or husband he or she also reminds us of the mistake,so we can judge ourselves again,punish ourselves again,and find ourselves guilty again.Is this fair?”

    “In your whole life nobody has abused you more than you have abused yourself.And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit you will tolerate from someone else.If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself,you will probably walk away from that person.But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself,you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.”

    The four agreements.
    1″Be impeccable with your word.”
    2″Don’t take anything personally.”
    3″Don’t make assumptions.”
    4″Always do your best.”

    I am not suggesting that you become a Toltec warrior.Reading your comments over the last month i believe that you may find some of the information and beliefs in Don Miguel Ruiz book;The four Agreements,a practical guide to personal freedom helpful in achieving your goals.

  18. ” . . .do you know the young kids’ culture around it? Do you know what GamerGate was about or . . .”

    . . . Literally Who?

    And don’t tell anybody, but Vivian James tends to push my slender, red headed Scots buttons.

  19. Porn is a weird thing, sure there is the getting off libido angle but there is more to it. If was simply about removing an urge men would simply bust a nut without having the need to look at it.

    Like Ya intimates it’s more to do with unfulfilled desire.

    It’s not really a substitute good, otherwise chronic users wouldn’t be spending hours on end jacking off, even after they’ve passed the point of biological satiety.

    Coolidge and Chaser effect aren’t present in normal human interactions to the extent it is evident in chronic porn usage so it doesn’t really provide an adequate explanation.

    The act of porn usage itself is of an outsider looking in, it’s symptomatic behaviour of feelings of inadequacy and status anxiety.

    There is never really a ‘hit’ in porn usage as the chasing of validation (masculine adequacy) is never fulfilled.

    The way I’m seeing it chronic porn usage is similar to behaviours exhibited in social ostracism in group psychology. Interestingly there are no psychological papers on ‘sexual ostracism’ apart from the manosphere.

  20. Rollo, I thought it was an Onion News service report at first.

    Now, that reminds me of when some Southern state – Alabama, maybe – tried to ban sex toys back about 15 years ago. The testimony in the Statehouse hearings was apparently very special; women swearing under oath that they cannot, can not, obtain an orgasm without a deVICE, for example.

    That also reminds me…once upon a time, I knew a man who got paid very well to travel way too much. He was involved in the rollout of lots of mom and pop Internet providers; part of the turnkey solution. He’d roll into town, some servers would be delivered, he’d configure them and connect them to the fiber or sometimes T-1, whatever the local telco office was providing.

    Then he’d babysit for a little while, to get Mom and Pop over the startup phase of their email / webserver / ISP / dialup business. Watch the traffic, keep an eye for any hack attempts and so forth. On the road pretty constantly, living for a few weeks at a time at the Holiday Inn Express in smallville, then maybe home for a week, then off to another one.

    He told me that he did several of these in Utah. Without exception, every time he helped set up a new ISP or node, 90% or more of the requested (outbound) URL traffic while he was still in town was p0rn. Pure, untouched, 100% Mormon “Nowhere, Utah” would get a dialup or a faster connection and dive right into teh pr0n headfirst. Yeah, ok, pure anecdote, I agree. But I wonder, what’s the Utah lege gonna do about it? Ban VPN’s?

    Heh. Vaseline. What year is it, 1979? The chain drugstores don’t sell Astroglide? What next, a mandatory minimum number of Graham crackers and bowls of cereal per man per day?

    I swear, if someone at Onion had made that up, nobody would believe it. Too fantastic and stupid.

  21. @ Softek

    “I wonder if premature ejaculation is a potential side effect of too much porn.”

    “…..But having complete control is one of my goals. I feel like I should at least have mastery over my own mind and body. Kind of a bigger metaphor, like, how can I expect to be dominant and lead any woman in any relationship if I can’t even control myself?”

    You can’t.

    Anonymous Reader is giving you some real good practical advice. Be all ears to what he is saying.

    In my opinion, your problem is with having too much Beta. (And YaReally is right, porn is a red herring–i.e. not the problem but merely a symptom of your problem).

    Your cure is in being more Alpha. And yes, that is a hard prescription to swallow. It takes work. A lot of work.

  22. Softek

    But I’d still feel like shit after whacking off so much. Just like a videogame hangover. Level grinding in RPG’s feels great for a while, but then when you’re done it’s this sense of wasted time like “what the fuck did I just do.”

    This feeling is dopamine withdrawal… huge prolonged surge of dopamine, then a crash. Your brain is associating an other meaning to it.

    Ignore.

    You can feel the same way after a few consecutive days of running game… It’s a chemical reaction loop.

  23. Rollo, am looking forward to more from BizStandardnews.com…now there’s a hook in my mouth I must remove.

  24. @Pallaeon @Softek
    Like I hate that guys with ugly fat wives get diagnosed with ED like THEY’RE the problem,

    I agree. This is not the case I am referring to, however.

    if you can get hard for PornHub then there’s SOMETHING MENTAL going on keeping you from getting hard for your chick, whether it’s that she’s ugly or that she’s smokin hot and you’re pressuring yourself too much like performance anxiety or she’s demanding (or you IMAGINE she is) and you feel too pressured to focus on the pleasure or she’s totally cool and you just have baggage from other times you couldn’t perform built up and worry that it’ll happen again and again take your mind off the pleasure or whether she MAKES you feel shitty about sex like it’s begrudging sex or whether you’re thinking about competing with her past lovers or worrying that she’s judging you and will tell her friends etc etc

    This is a possibility, however, I don’t believe this is the situation in my case. For one, I don’t get hard easily for porn hub after a while. After a day or two of bingeing, It can actually take an hour to an hour and a half of searching to finally get off. Even then, I won’t often be fully hard – just finally eeking out an ‘O.’

    For another thing, I’ve gone to strip clubs where I’ve had no pressure on me to perform, and I haven’t been able to get hard watching the hot naked chicks dancing in front me while I’m watching porn on a regular basis (which generally means bingeing on a regular basis).

    A final thing, the last girl I had in my bed- the one who was begging me to fuck her. I didn’t feel nervous at all. The girl I’d lost my virginity to (ie the previous girl I’d gotten into bed) was actually pretty chill when I’d told her about my ED issues from porn, so I was generally reacting as it wasn’t a big deal with this other girl. Like, I’ve never been as calm with a chick in bed as I had been with her.

    I can understand why you don’t want to believe the possibility of there being some brain chemistry involved in this shit. Nonetheless, I’ve experimented enough and read enough that I fully believe it.

    I even went and saw a psychologist, who convinced me for a while that it was all in my head, and that porn addiction was a myth, so just have it and I just need to focus on being more disciplined. That worked for about a week…and then two months later I woke up and realized that I compulsively spent all of my free time watching porn, playing video games, and watching netflix. I was constantly late for work, and couldn’t concentrate for shit all day, and I found doing chores around the horse a complete pain and only did them when necessary.

    In contrast, when I abstain from porn, I find it very easy to get up early for work, I find myself doing chores around the house without even having to think about it, and I can concentrate very well at work.

    Porn addiction is a legitimate thing. Some people can use it without problems, others, like myself, have difficulties. It’s no different than alcohol. I can drink sparingly, without finding myself bingeing. Other people have problems doing so. And speaking of alcohol addiction, I went to a recovery group just to help give me some resources to deal with my porn addiction. About half of the stories they told about their alcohol addiction I could have told about myself, the only difference being swapping the substance consumed.

    There are so many things that add up to show it’s a real thing that I could probably write an entire blog post about just that.

  25. @ Anonymous

    +1 on the exercise. One thing I’ve been doing lately is interval training with boxing. Get my heart rate up really high, rest period, rinse and repeat for a few sets, usually first thing in the morning before breakfast. Big fan of calisthenics, but I got out of shape over a long period of time. Back when I was 18 I could do 100 pushups in a row on my fists. Now I can comfortably do about 15, and I have joint pain in my hands these days so the fist pushups are out.

    (glycine, as a supplement, around 8g a day, especially combined with some taurine and L-proline is supposed to help with inflammation and joint pain, along with a lot of general problems that inflammation causes, and I plan on giving this a shot soon)

    Real pullups are hard to do. Shoulderblades fully retracted, and REALLY feeling your lats. Chest to the bar with back slightly arched (as necessary to touch your chest to the bar). Ido Portal has a lot of good fitness tutorials.

    I’m nowhere near being able to do a pullup like that yet. But day by day. Been lowering into a full squat position, and using my legs to help me pull myself up. Activate as much as I can of my lats. It feels great. Building up slow to full pullups.

    Lateral raises and hammer curls/regular curls with free weights.

    I’m starting out very slow with all this. In the past I tended to overdo it when I’d get back into working out. I was doing gymnastics training for a while and want to get back to that too. Killer for developing core strength.

    But I need to address some skeletal issues. Some birth defects left my skeleton fucked up and my muscles are compensating which has resulted in chronic pain and tension. I’ve just lived with it for years but I have an appointment coming up Thursday to see if anything can be addressed. Can’t take bones out of my body that aren’t supposed to be there, or at least I’m not willing to go into surgery for that, lol, but maybe some other help can be gotten.

    @ YaReally

    I jerked off last night as a release, but didn’t go on porn. The temptation is so real it’s crazy. It’s very hard for me to masturbate without going on porn.

    The NoFap people might be taking it too far with no “PMO” (porn/masturbation/orgasm), but for guys with ED (which I don’t have), it might be necessary.

    I do have to rewire my brain. When I was growing up I had so much guilt around masturbating, probably from being raised catholic and some other shit. I was sexually abused by a doctor when I was a kid, never mentioned that in therapy or really to anyone and never got any kind of treatment for it.

    It’s much like how I was physically/emotionally/verbally abused growing up. I had to realize all this by myself. My sister didn’t see most of it happen, and we don’t talk anyway, and my parents blocked everything out.

    Having no one to step in and understand what happened or that it was wrong, and having to read about this stuff and realize it by myself, has been very hard for me.

    Especially the sexual abuse. It was one time. But it would explain why general things they do in physicals, like anything having to do with touching my balls, or medical diagrams, or biological drawings of sexual organs and their internals, etc., makes me feel like I’m going to pass out. Health class in high school I felt sick every single class, like I was going to throw up and/or pass out. I can’t even touch my own testicles. Doing that outside of washing in the shower (e.g., how they tell you to check for lumps for cancer) makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. Just can’t handle it.

    Even with the girl I’ve been seeing, it’s taken a long time for me to be OK with her touching my balls or grabbing my ass. Even now my body feels extremely sensitive, in a bad way, in a lot of areas. It’s been getting better with real sex though. It feels like it’s safe or something. It’s been the first time in my life I’ve had a positive wiring to sexuality.

    Even that’s been mixed, lol, we all know the story with the girl I’ve been seeing and potential BPD issues and the shaming for going on porn or looking at other girls, etc. But the good thing is I’m slowly starting to be able to realize that this is unhealthy.

    Anonymous shared a great post and I agree with that completely: if someone else abuses me a little less than I’ve abused myself, or have been abused in the past, I’ll put up with it. Doing my best to be aware of this.

    But the positive: all this stuff is on the table. My parents never realized that they were abused. My dad went through some horrific shit, not just at home, but at school too, e.g. physical abuse from teachers, I’m pretty sure my mom was sexually abused, and of course all the shit they didn’t deal with dumped on me.

    But I have the awareness. And I’ve been making progress. I went out of my way and got another job from a client today. It took a lot. But I feel so good. I have something on my workbench I’ve been doing and it’s amazing how much it clears my head.

    To have meaningful work. I was working for minimum wage for years and fucking hated it. It wasn’t that I felt I was “above” it. My boss was just a major asshole and treated me and everyone else like shit and it was just going in and getting yelled at all day.

    So being able to do something I love, and something in isolation like I like, having the time to be obsessive and get things to come out just the way I like, and have customers be really happy — that’s awesome.

    Long way to go, but I feel like I’m light years ahead of where I was.

    Up the Alpha? Yes. I have to. A lot of Beta left, but a lot less Beta than last year. Just like I can’t even do a single pullup yet, I’ll be getting there. It’s all relative. A huge victory for me is a huge victory. The trick is to just keep them coming and not compare myself to how much I think other people are achieving.

    Thanks again for all the support everyone, awesome advice here and I feel like I’ve been growing a lot even as a result of that alone. As always even if I don’t respond, I do read everything here, and appreciate all of it. This place has become my home away from home, lol

  26. @stuffinbox
    That was a good read.

    @Pellaeon
    “I’ve gone to strip clubs where I’ve had no pressure on me to perform, and I haven’t been able to get hard watching the hot naked chicks dancing in front me”

    Me neither. OH SHIT I HAVE ED!!!!11 Or it’s just not that sexy an environment and I don’t view it as that big of a deal and need more than seeing a vagina to get hard lol

    “I can understand why you don’t want to believe the possibility of there being some brain chemistry involved in this shit.”

    I didn’t say it wasn’t possible. I just don’t think it’s NEARLY as common as the current push for NoFap and “porn is evil!!!” is making it out to be and I don’t like guys who don’t have regular access to HOT pussy self-diagnosing (or being diagnosed by blue pill therapists) as being addicted when the REAL issue is that they don’t have access to an outlet for their horniness besides the extremely convenient free porn on their computers…everybody wants to be a special snowflake victim these days.

    I’m not saying that’s YOU, you might actually have a problem, but the vast majority of guys who are freaking out about porn and pushing NoFap are usually the same guys who don’t actually have girls they think are hot lined up to suck their dick, just like the guys who go “monk mode” on TRP are usually the same guys who don’t have any girls to go monk mode ON lol

  27. I can see I knee jerk reactioned a bit there – having only zeroed in on the one part of YaReally’s post. I definitely agree with like, 90% of the rest of it.

    I wonder if premature ejaculation is a potential side effect of too much porn. It’s not the norm (ED is from what I’ve read), but I have read some cases of that, and I feel like I have it really bad. If I could get over that hurdle I think I’d feel a lot more confident. It could be too soon to tell (the last time I went on it was a couple weeks ago or something like that), and I have had times that I felt I had a lot of control (though not complete).
    But having complete control is one of my goals. I feel like I should at least have mastery over my own mind and body. Kind of a bigger metaphor, like, how can I expect to be dominant and lead any woman in any relationship if I can’t even control myself?

    I’m not sure on that one – I’ve only experienced the ED myself. I’ve heard premature ejaculation can be caused by porn addiction, so it’s definitely possible. YaReally is also right though that it’s possible there could be mental causes for that as well. I’ve read that in certain cases of troubled relationships, the guy was subconsciously causing the premature ejaculation as a way of passive aggressively getting back at his girl for all her shitty behavior. Cuz once she started treating him decently, the premature ejaculation went away.

    I will second YaReally’s advice to dump the girl you’re with. There are a lot of advantages to being single, even if you’re going celibate in the process. Like, I have a friend who’s dating this fairly hot chick, but she’s completely in control. I’m so glad to be in my position instead of his. His life has completely stagnated – he’s slowly gotten fatter and fatter, and hasn’t been able to even sign on to a reddit blog to post “I signed on to show my commitment to actually achieving a goal,” let alone take any action on any self-improvement for the past two years.

  28. @ Pellaeon

    I agree 100% that porn addiction is a real thing.

    re: Kellog. Look at circumcision. Main initial purpose was to reduce male masturbation. I was circumcised so bad (all foreskin gone, no mobility at all) that the skin was so tight that it hurt for me to masturbate in the ‘traditional’ way. I started masturbating by humping my mattress. They actually have a site about this and how it can damage your dick to masturbate like this, and how to re-train yourself to masturbate the ‘normal’ way, with your hand(s).

    It’s sick and twisted.

    So I’m not knocking masturbation. I will add that Gary Wilson posits that high speed Internet porn is not the porn of the past. It’s the unending novelty that exhausts the reward centers of the brain over time.

    They have medication that lowers your opiates. The idea is that when you take it at night, the next day your endogenous production will be higher to compensate.

    When you flood your brain with the novelty of high speed Internet porn, it responds by downregulating dopamine receptors and your feelings of everyday pleasure are diminished.

    Again, I agree 100% too that it’s real. From having gotten addicted to it myself. And I experience the same thing:

    I jerked off the other day, needed the release. But resisted, and didn’t go on porn. Just thought about some times I hooked up with some girls or some dirty text exchanges, lol.

    I don’t feel the same after whacking off without porn. Whacking off with porn, I feel a LOT worse after. Very significantly.

    Keeping in mind too I’m a younger guy. I grew up with this shit. I remember before I found Internet porn, I saw some half-nude pics of women on a calendar my dad owns.

    I felt like I was gonna cream my pants. So turned on. We all get experience as times goes on and get desensitized. But it can go overboard. I’d get so turned on in high school it was ridiculous. Checking out girls, seeing a thong here and there, just a little bit of one. It was insane.

    But I never had sex with any of them or even got close. Retreated into porn because I didn’t know any better.

    And I’d like to have that feeling back for real women. The other night, I was CRAVING PORN so bad, like specifically, it wasn’t good enough to just masturbate, I NEEDED to go on porn.

    Instead I just thought of what I was doing. They’re just women on a screen. It’s not real. Just like videogame accomplishments vs. accomplishments IRL that result in me getting money and also building skills that will allow me to make more money and also feel more self-actualized.

    Also, I’ve seen enough porn, the only thing I care about is what’s NEW. I’m always looking for something new. And it bothers me thinking about not going on porn because I wonder, what am I missing?

    What women am I missing out on online? How can I live without seeing them online, knowing what they look like?

    Meanwhile I’m passing up chances every day to approach a hottie. Every single day. Never thinking I’m missing out by not having sex with different women. But porn? Oh, how can I live without that? NOVELTY!

    But there’s novelty IRL that I’m ignoring.

    This is a main reason I’m abstaining from porn these days. I have watched probably so many thousands of hours of videos, and seen so many thousands of pictures, and played so many of those anime sex games (yes I’ve been that guy), if there was anything to get out of porn, I would’ve gotten it by now.

    It’s a huge struggle to not go on porn. Even talking about it is making me want to go on it.

    I have work to do on the bench, and it’s getting late. Go on porn or work? Choice is obvious: work. And if I’m feeling that revved up I can masturbate without going on porn before bed.

    There’s a big distinction though: I don’t want to masturbate. I don’t feel turned on. I want to masturbate TO PORN, specifically.

    It really is like a digital harem. I’m not even remotely excited about thinking about banging this young 20 something hottie I’ve been talking to. I’ve been kind of meh about it. Like, I don’t want to drive there, I don’t want to do this, I don’t give a shit.

    But pull up Pornhub and my dick will be hard as a rock in 5 seconds and I could get off all night.

    To me that signifies something very wrong, and I’m trying to address it by abstaining from porn and seeing what happens.

    I got nothing to lose. That’s one reason I’m trying to stick it out too. Masturbation is OK, but no porn. I think I can do that. But it’s amazing how strong the pull, specifically, of porn is.

    I can see the point of porn being a Red Herring, but I think it CAN be its own issue. It’s also true that heroin is a red herring, in the sense that it’s the pain causing someone to use that’s responsible — but it certainly causes its own problems, and while the core problems won’t go away simply by not shooting up, not using is a step in the right direction.

    But Gary on YBOP also is very clear about needing to re-wire your brain to something else, not JUST quitting porn. So I’m hoping that in going through an alleged withdrawal, I might feel more turned on by normal women enough to feel motivated to actually approach, to feel excited about having sex with them, etc. like I used to back in school.

    Like looking at a girl and going WOW and wanting to fuck her, instead of ‘meh’ and thinking it’s just easier and more exciting to go on porn and look at 100 different digital women instead.

  29. But I need to address some skeletal issues. Some birth defects left my skeleton fucked up and my muscles are compensating which has resulted in chronic pain and tension. I’ve just lived with it for years but I have an appointment coming up Thursday to see if anything can be addressed. Can’t take bones out of my body that aren’t supposed to be there, or at least I’m not willing to go into surgery for that, lol, but maybe some other help can be gotten.

    Ahaha, chronic pain. That stuff wears on a person. Self-medication can be a result. So you may not be doing just muscle compensation for a defect, there may well be muscles that are chronically tight due to stress, leading to myofascial trigger point problems. Some people “put their stress” into headaches, or into a neck vertebrae, others put it other places.

    Consider an orthopedic physical therapist. PT isn’t a fast correction but it can work very well with chronic pain issues. You also really might want to find a good masseuse for two reasons. First, actually relaxing the large muscle groups will be good for your stress levels and help untighten muscles. Second, like a lot of men you may be “starved for touch” and a massage on a regular basis will help with that. I’d advise against trying to pick up the masseuse, by the way.

    Back to the ortho-PT – if you have myofascial trigger point issues, they can address that as well.

    Do. Not. Get. Cut.

  30. “There are so many things that add up to show it’s a real thing that I could probably write an entire blog post about just that.”

    Or you could not waste your time and just read Marc Lewis’ book.

    Everything you just said, he proved, explained, or gave anyone motivation for work-arounds.

    If I were wise enough like kfg and knew what Q.E.D really meant, I could emphasize that was already proven. (I.e. bad habits are your primitively evolved brain functioning totally normally in a modern society. It is not abnormal/pathological. It is just lack of masculine tactical virtues and stoic discipline that gets you in trouble.)

    As Sentient indicates, it is dopamine management.

    I’m an advocate for this stuff being “learn-able” with cognitive fore-brain tactics. But it still takes hard work. I’ve over-relied on self help because it worked for me (i.e. I’m ego invested in it), but some would be better to get professional help or listen to others opinions on the matter. Esp. mentors like Rollo for red pill awareness and YaReally for game.

    Listening to others means accepting what they have to say rather than denying, being angry, attempting to bargain, or being depressed about it. Your real progress comes in the Acceptance phase.

    Relax, accept what is, (not what ought to be) and move on. There is a lower downside and a higher upside to understanding and overcoming bad habits.

  31. @ YaReally

    I do see your point too, and how would I know what kind of girls I think are really hot when I’ve only seen a couple naked IRL?

    My friend has told me tons of stories about being semi into it with some girls, and saying when you get with the REALLY good looking ones, hold onto your shorts, lol.

    NoFap reminds me of Jesus’ followers, lol. Like, I read the Bible for fun back when I was heavy into my ‘spiritual’ (introspective psychological seems like a better term for it for me) phase. I just wanted to read and compare to other things I was reading from Zen and Buddhism, etc.

    So many dots connected. There are a lot of great parables in the Bible. There’s a lot of good shit. There’s also a lot of dumb shit and then you have dumb people turning everything into a doctrine and fucking everything up, and then if you quote the Bible, even if it’s a really good parable that is like a general life lesson, you sound like a Bible thumper and people aren’t open to what you’re saying cause the majority of those people are out of touch with reality.

    Like in my mind “Jesus” is just a fictional character for all I know, or he could’ve been a real monk or spiritual teacher like Osho or something (and also could’ve had sex scandals with his students like Osho, lol, chicks dig the ‘non attached’ but actually attached rich spiritual guys, haha, it’s a stereotype and stereotypes = attractive to one type of woman or another)….

    …but yeah. Anyway that rant isn’t going anywhere productive, lol, at this point in my life I can’t say “Jesus” and take myself seriously unless I’m saying it because I just accidentally slammed my hand in a door or tripped on my way up the staircase.

    I don’t even KNOW what women I’d find really hot. And now that I think about it, I DO get that ‘old feeling,’ like for the girl I’ve been seeing’s friend. She looks like she has really nice tits, and she has a great ass, and it was kinda awkward when we were out because I was like getting a boner looking at her.

    That’s how I felt about the girl I’ve been seeing. And I do still feel that way. Coolidge Effect is real though. My friend said even with supermodel type girls he got with, that were dead gorgeous knockouts, he usually got bored within a few months.

    He had access to so much pussy on such a regular basis, it just didn’t hold for him.

    It’s like novelty in porn, except IRL. And I think we were wired for that. 1200+ is a crazy high N count, but for Internet porn?

    I could easily see that many women in a single session. Big difference.

    And I do see some girls walking by once in a while that make me go “God DAMN!”

    This girl is the first I’ve been with that I was attracted to. But she is older and (as much as I hate to say it because I feel like it makes me a horrible person) seeing pics of her from when she was younger, like 10 years ago, it’s like fuck man, I wish I had some of that.

    And here comes the guilt/shame. Lots of Beta left. I feel like a scumbag for saying that but that’s how I feel. Kinda like how I felt around her friend.

    Would I want to date her friend? Not really. But looking at her physically? I was just thinking about shoving my dick between her tits, which I bet look awesome, and it got me REALLY excited.

    That brings to mind another piece of advice my friend gave me: just go for women that you really want to bang. It isn’t worth it to heavily pursue women you’re not into just for sex.

    He even mentioned that when he did that, he had problems having any fun at all, or getting into it, or enjoying it.

    So that is a good catch there.

    I still think that porn is addictive, but I can see your point about guys blowing it out of proportion.

    The hardest pill to swallow is for BP guys like me to realize that, even if they’re attracted to their GF/wife or whatever, there’s the ‘forbidden fruit.’

    i.e. the smoking hot women that walk by that you want to fuck, but for 100 reasons, you feel like you can’t, and you’re not allowed to.

    Or something.

    I was working in the yard the other day and what looked like an 18-19 y/o walked by and smiled at me, and it was like, fuck, I wish I had a piece of that. I would tear that shit up.

    THAT is the drive I’m not indulging.

    So thanks for pointing that out. I will also say again that quitting porn isn’t enough, and isn’t the ultimate idea — the ultimate idea is to get off porn and then re-wire to IRL experiences.

    i.e., banging hot girls like the ones you watch in porn. I did brainwash myself thinking that it was JUST novelty of porn, like it had nothing to do with what they looked like, but that they were DIFFERENT.

    This is a buffer against admitting that I do have standards, and I do find different women more attractive than others.

    Which is the girl I’ve been seeing’s WORST NIGHTMARE. That I would ever think another girl is hotter than her. So I’m guilt tripping and shaming myself for EVER feeling like that, maybe because that’s what she’s subconsciously conditioned me to do.

    Feeling a little more enlightened right now, thanks again for the input, super helpful as always.

  32. @ Anonymous

    Funny you mention that, the guy I’m going to see specializes in fascial work.

    The issue is an extra vertebrate in my spine that has thrown everything out of alignment since I was born. One side of my body is higher than the other and all that, have some mobility issues. I have a lot of other shit but the conditions are so rare I would basically be doxxing myself if I mentioned everything. Not that it matters at this point anyway, lol, which bothers me, but whatever. Fuck it.

    I’m hoping I can at least get a clearer picture of what’s going on with my body. Even if it can’t be fixed, I’m sure it can be helped and I could be doing a LOT better than I am now.

    This guy is supposedly really good, and maybe he can recommend me to other specialists as well as giving me some advice about what I could do to improve the situation.

    I’ve avoided doctors of all kinds like the plague as soon as I was old enough to not go against my will. So this will be new for me. But I’m hoping it’ll help with chronic stress, just as you said. And I think it will.

  33. Ya really enlightened us with:

    >That’s why I was asking though. I mean guys can hate on Shoe I don’t care, but when guys are posting “hey Karen nice fucking video you dumb slut look at Karen!!!” and picking apart her videos and I can’t post a relevant Shoe vid because she’s blacklisted it’s just a huge facepalm.

    We look like the bunch of out of touch parent’s basement crotchety bitter old men who don’t understand the Internet and modern times, that haters >make MRAs/Manospherians out to BE lol

    People don’t say that about you as far as you know…

  34. Ya really’s obsession intensifies:

    >If Shoe WASN’T planning to make fun of the Manosphere, she sure as shit WOULD BE posting a vid making fun of us after seeing that uproar in that Karen comment section.
    >

    A whole section devoted to me? Can a book deal be and a late night show be far behind?

    *Giggles*

  35. >I took Karen out of mod. Still not convinced she’s Shoe, but I’ll put her on probation for now.
    >

    That was like sooo generous! But I would like to request a female probation officer. Thoughts of you making unannounced visits to my domicile at any and all hours is not something I fantasize about…though somehow, I doubt that feeling is mutual…

    *Smirks*

  36. @Softek
    “I do see your point too, and how would I know what kind of girls I think are really hot when I’ve only seen a couple naked IRL?”

    I’m not even just talking about looks. Personality and sexual chemistry and shit go a long way too. You haven’t experienced enough women from a place of understanding yourself to know what REALLY clicks with you. You’ve got this mediocre girl that your brain is blowing up into a special snowflake because she occasionally tells you what you want to hear and your brain blocks out all the obvious evidence that she’s full of shit and you’re not allowed to look at other girls or go fuck them so why would you ever think other girls were better than her? Why WOULD you leave her?

    “I was working in the yard the other day and what looked like an 18-19 y/o walked by and smiled at me, and it was like, fuck, I wish I had a piece of that. I would tear that shit up.”

    This is what I’m talking about. When you have to chase around an average girl to get laid and put in work, ya PornHub is a way better alternative. That’s just basic logic/economics. But if you had that 18yo who smiled at you hovering over you in bed asking “can I please suck your dick??” would you go “ehh, get out of here, I’m going to look up PornHub” lol

    I mean it doesn’t sound like you manage porn well, but it just sounds like any addiction to anything that gives you good feels. You could juggle for 21 days (or however long the neuroplasticity shit takes to kick in) and enjoy the thrill of it and then stop and REALLY MISS juggling and be thinking about juggling all day and want to juggle etc Juggling itself isn’t evil.

    That doesn’t mean you should whip out the porn, but just that I don’t think porn is any more addicting than anything else that feels good like junk food etc And even junk food isn’t that appealing when you’re stuffed full from a good meal…but when you’re starving or getting that meal requires effort and the junk food is sitting RIGHT THERE in front of you…….lol

    “I will also say again that quitting porn isn’t enough, and isn’t the ultimate idea — the ultimate idea is to get off porn and then re-wire to IRL experiences.”

    You mean like replacing watching porn with opening a hot 18yo that walks by and smiles at you? 😉 lol Except wait, you’re not allowed to, because your girlfriend will get mad. But then she’ll get mad if you vent those urges into porn. Maybe you should just chop your dick off and take up woodworking lol

    “Which is the girl I’ve been seeing’s WORST NIGHTMARE. That I would ever think another girl is hotter than her. So I’m guilt tripping and shaming myself for EVER feeling like that, maybe because that’s what she’s subconsciously conditioned me to do.”

    You got it lol All she has to do is keep you away from other girls and shaming yourself etc long enough for you to “accidentally” knock her up. Then she’s got what she needs and you can be her perfect sexless provider cuckold because how could she stay attracted to a guy who doesn’t have the self-esteem or the options to leave a girl who tells him to go fuck himself and that he’s a disgusting pig etc?

    @Rollo
    Like I say, I would keep Karen blacklisted lol but for being a dude pretending to be a girl, not for being Shoe.

  37. “That was like sooo generous! But I would like to request a female probation officer. Thoughts of you making unannounced visits to my domicile at any and all hours is not something I fantasize about…though somehow, I doubt that feeling is mutual…
    *Smirks*”

    Being fun (solipsistically) is one thing. Adding value in comments on The Rational Male blog is an entirely different thing.

    And then there is spam…….toying spam. Solipsistically having fun is cute, even if trite, until it is not. When it is worthless is the point it should be labeled as trite, worthless, spam.

    So Karen, have fun, but add value and move the discussion along and be engaging, moreso than random, trite and toying. Rollo likes open discussion, but he’s not that tolerant to blatant spam.

    This blog is about red pill awareness. What is your agenda? Self amusement? Garnering hits?

  38. Mr Scribbleberg writes:

    Ask yourself a simple question: Why shouldn’t you live in a society in decline? Why shouldn’t we lose? Why not us? Why not me? Where do I get this idea that I shouldn’t live in a batshit society? Most humans live in ridiculous political and social conditions. In fact, that is the norm. So, be philosophical about it. Adam Smith once said, “There is much ruin in a nation.” It’s nothing new. I’ll close with a poem I may have posted another time here, it’s worth revisiting and re-reading from time to time.
    >

    This is a wonderfully salient comment. Mr. S gets it; probably more than 99% of those currently breathing.

    I recall Jeremy (or some other male) assailing me verbally a few weeks ago about how I was “privileged” and he was “disposable”.

    Jeremy may be “disposable”…but the quality of his life vis a vis almost every single person who has lived since the Sumerians is in the top 1%…and he does not even know it.

    There is no better time or place to be alive than America 1946 – 2016…and I challenge anyone to point out a better combination of era & venue.

    Medical, life expectancy, communications, variety of entertainment, quality of food & drink, quality of shelter, technology, ease of travel, lack of restrictions on personal liberty & autonomy…Jeremy…perhaps you can go back to Philadelphia circa 1776 and take the week long pony ride back to Boston! Sooo much fun! Especially when it is snowing!

    Males may have been reduced to tacit 2nd class citizens over the last 25 years in the West, but it is hardly a re-enactment of the Inquisition…there are no reptile pits people are being tossed into…no roasting the (live!) body over a hot fire to obtain a confession of heresy. When you compare the mind boggling tyranny, oppression, hardship, suffering, and indescribable deprivation that ALMOST EVERYONE who has ever lived has been forced to endure…your life has been a hayride. Almost half the planet *still* goes to bed hungry every night. You have nooooooooooo conception of what genuine suffering is…and your ingratitude at the amazing luck to live here & now is mind boggling.

  39. Karen’s getting try hard and not making me hard. Betcha she can’t do it with pics, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

    Males may have been reduced to tacit 2nd class citizens over the last 25 years in the West, but it is hardly a re-enactment of the Inquisition.

    Why is suicide the first or second leading cause of death for men between 15 and 45?

  40. @ stuff

    LOL they should also restrict the sale of mormon scripture writing pencils,you know,the ones with little erasers on the end.

    There are these really fun things you can do with sharpened pencils….

  41. Yeah! Really! says:

    >Like I say, I would keep Karen blacklisted lol but for being a dude pretending to be a girl, not for being Shoe.
    >

    Poirot…you are not.

  42. @ YaReally

    Everything you’re saying makes sense, and keeps making me think of the Second Unplugging.

    This is the hardest shit I’ve ever gone through as far as women go. Hell, as far as life goes. Everything’s hitting the fan at once. All my worst fears. In a nutshell, being independent and being my own person. Was reading over my psych test results from back when I was in the mental hospital and it’s pretty telling that on the diagnostic part, two of the things were Dependent Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder.

    Sums up my condition perfectly. The prognosis for personality disorders is very bad, basically the idea is you can never overcome them or do anything about them, which I think is BS. That’s also something that makes me want to get away from psychology: you can only heal as far as the beliefs of the people helping you go.

    If a person giving you advice believes that you can’t really get better, that’s one way to get fucked. Like grief. Some people believe that you never heal from grief and that you’ll be scarred for your entire life. Is that a healthy belief to have? I was crying this morning about someone in my life that died, but I let myself vent the emotions and then went on with my day. It doesn’t feel like I’m scarred for life. It just comes up once in a while and I don’t see it as an issue in any way and letting it out allows me to leave it there. Deal with it as it comes up kind of thing. I don’t feel like it negatively influences my life in any way, if anything it helps me relate to other people more because I understand what it feels like to go through that.

    There’s an old Taoist story about a monk who performs impossible feats. He performs them because he’s unaware that they’re impossible. As soon as someone tells him they’re impressed with him for performing these tasks that should be impossible, he stops doing them. He ‘realizes’ that they’re ‘dangerous,’ and that they’re ‘impossible,’ like walking through fire, breathing underwater, and flying through the air —

    — so he stops immediately. All these things he used to do effortlessly, once he realizes that he “shouldn’t be able” to do them, he never does again for the rest of his life.

  43. The Lion says:

    >Why is suicide the first or second leading cause of death for men between 15 and 45?
    >

    Perhaps they have an aversion to prosperity; they may have an inborn biological predisposition that seeks out the more rustic and rugged lifestyle. This is a mindset in direct contravention to what modern civilization currently resembles and provides. The failure to be able to reconcile the one with the other may very well be the root cause of their psychological malaise.

  44. @ YaReally

    “Maybe you should just chop your dick off and take up woodworking lol”

    Lmao, I actually made a joke almost identical to that to my friend the other day. I know what’s up but denial is a hell of a drug.

    I’m fighting against my own nature. Deep down I’ve been feeling this for a while, and have verbalized it to my RP buddy on multiple occasions. Like I’m going stir crazy being in my mid 20’s and not getting any young pussy at the age I should be having it in abundance. Big time struggling with shame over that.

    Guess what? Not the first time. I felt guilty with the 300lb chick I was seeing years back on and off for not being attracted to her sexually and wanting someone thinner. Yeah, it’s been that bad. What’s even worse is I’m actually a good looking guy.

    Not to sound like an entitled prick. I’ve put on some weight and am rocking a pretty good beer belly these days, but even thinking back to a year or two ago, I’ve gotten compliments from girls on my looks plenty of times. And it frustrates me feeling like I’m supposed to be one of the LUCKY guys that has an unfair advantage that other guys get pissed off about and write about on Word Press or wherever the fuck it is people go to complain about shit.

    Like one time I chatted up a girl at the mall, and she said I had beautiful eyes, and to stop looking at her because I was making her blush. We just went back and forth about BS and I kept making direct eye contact, smiling at her, her smiling back, etc.

    She ended up giving me her name and number. I didn’t even ask for it. I ended up dropping the ball on that and not doing anything about it and losing the paper she gave me after a week or so.

    Shit like that. She was probably around 18 and was knockout gorgeous but I was so fucked up at the time I couldn’t Close a paper bag even if someone else Opened it for me.

    Another time at a Halloween party one of the hottest girls there wanted to dance with me. I hate dancing because it makes me anxious. I just figured it out and put up with it and she started rubbing me all over and then put her head down on my shoulder.

    I backed away or pushed her away or something because I was nervous because her BF was at the party too and was in the other room. Lol. They were engaged and guess what? Later that year they broke the engagement off. Could’ve got that shit while the getting was good.

    Had girls come onto me with strong dead giveaway IOI’s like rubbing my legs and shit and I just didn’t do anything.

    It pains me to hear his story about how when my friend turned 28 years old, his GF at the time surprised him by showing up at his place for birthday sex — with two other girls that were 18 and 19. Some ridiculous amount of hours later, like from 10 at night to 11 or 12 in the morning, he was 28 years old and had what he said was one of the better experiences of his life, but he has plenty of stories right up there with it.

    He referenced this song when I asked him what his favorite age for women was, lol:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ucx6xQ3syN0

    Anyway, like Tyler would say, he’ll be out banging 9s and 10’s and just stop complaining and go fucking do it.

    Step one is just getting out of the house. I’ve basically been under house arrest with this girl, like seeing each other every single day for fucking 8 months in a row. With very rare exceptions. I don’t even have TIME to go anywhere else.

    Aye….well I’m off to some more work and then bed. Great discussion tonight.

    Also, necessary repost for the lolz:

  45. Ya Really says:

    >I follow this stuff ’cause it’s fun junk food for my brain

    You are what you eat…

    I bet few realize that the origin of the phrase “we are going to eat them up” (with regard to ones foes) is derived from the time when Zeus would actually ingest either lesser gods, humans, or a synthesis of the two…who he deemed to be his enemies.

    Now there is an old saying, “Choose your enemies carefully…for it is they who you will eventually resemble”. Man is a strange creature in that as he moves through life, he tends to switch places with those he once despised. Contemporary examples are manifold…the college Marxist become an investment banker…the religious fundamentalist becomes an atheist…or the other way around…and so on…and therein lies the roots of the old maxim “you are what you eat”. After vanquishing a particular civilization or culture, the conquerors invariably take on many of the customs and traditions of their victims. The “War Bride” commentary is also at the heart of this dynamic…as the progeny of the women absorbed into the triumphant side carry the defeated enemies genes.

    There is nothing random in this universe *at all*…and there is often considerable truth in seemingly trite clichés.

  46. “I’m often asked by ‘fempowered’ women critics whether I ‘believe‘ in some of the more socially acceptable tenets of feminism in some sort defense to the affront of my Red Pill lens being cast their way. It’s usually something to do with, “Do you or do you not think women ought to have the right to vote?” or the ever-reliable “Shouldn’t women have the right to do with their bodies what they choose?” These questions are always binary (“yes or no will do”) and usually couched in a context that implies that if you even slightly disagree or have a marginal caveat to answering ‘appropriately’ you’ll be dismissed with a name tag that has “misogynist” printed on it. Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man.”

    The same syllogistic/binary arguments can be used against feminists/leftists with respect to cuckoldry.

    “Do you or do you not support cuckoldry?”

    If yes, then self-righteously denounce and demonize them as evil and your exploiters who must be vanquished.

    If no, then proceed to argue how their positions do support cuckoldry and they must change them or else they are an evil cuckoldist.

    The benefit is both approaches allow you to go on the offense. And the only way to capture territory in (culture) war is to go on the offense. Playing defense doesn’t capture territory, it at best only stops you losing what territory you already have.

    “Several years ago Dalrock had a post detailing the sentiment of feminists that feminism would be a success if only men would cooperate with the ideology by abandoning their own interests and sublimating their own biological impulses. The fact remains that feminism and egalitarianism are failed ideologies because at the root level those ideologies ask men to participate in their own extinction. Not only this, but they ask men to raise successive generations to accommodate and participate in their own degradation.:

    Hence why feminism is exclusively about cuckoldry. (And if you extrapolate into a general form, so is all leftism, as leftism is about parasitism and cuckoldry is a form of parasitism, (reproductive parasitism to be precise.))

    The single issue of cuckoldry, both in a practical sense and in an institutional/systemic or abstract sense, can be for the right, what the issue of rape is for feminists.

    It can be our cudgel that we use to beat the other side into submission.

  47. Mr Scribbleberg writes:

    >”The Second Coming” by WB Yeats

    Yeats had ties to Crowley and other turn of the (last) century practicioners of theosophy. With a strong sense of the esoteric, he innately knew that a change was near…and the prophecy of the poem is close to manifesting.

  48. The Polymath spoke thusly:

    >There is no better time or place to be alive than America 1946 – 2016…and I challenge anyone to point out a better combination of era & venue.
    >

    Just read that retribution for another grave crime against The People of North Korea was obtained via a custodial sentence of 10 years “hard labor” for the perpetrator…this on the heels of the 15 year sentence handed down two months ago when a young American male of extraordinary insight took it upon himself to attempt to abscond with a state poster or sign (for his mom’s girlfriend no less…serving the F.I….should have read T.R.M.!!!!!!). I doubt the bright boy even enjoyed the perfunctory sympathy the judge in Istanbul gave Billy Hayes, “gecmis olsun” (may it pass quickly!)….upon handing him three decades for hashish.

    But even worse, John Wayne has been denied his “holiday” for inappropriate remarks. Though I enjoy the movies immensely…I have never seen one of his films. Not being terribly well acquainted with his biography, I took a couple of minutes to scan the Wikipedia article. He would probably fit in well here…

    Let *that* be a lesson to you all!

    *Laughs*

  49. @Softek
    “What’s even worse is I’m actually a good looking guy.

    Not to sound like an entitled prick. I’ve put on some weight and am rocking a pretty good beer belly these days, but even thinking back to a year or two ago, I’ve gotten compliments from girls on my looks plenty of times. And it frustrates me feeling like I’m supposed to be one of the LUCKY guys that has an unfair advantage that other guys get pissed off about and write about on Word Press or wherever the fuck it is people go to complain about shit.

    Like one time I chatted up a girl at the mall, and she said I had beautiful eyes, and to stop looking at her because I was making her blush. We just went back and forth about BS and I kept making direct eye contact, smiling at her, her smiling back, etc.

    She ended up giving me her name and number. I didn’t even ask for it. I ended up dropping the ball on that and not doing anything about it and losing the paper she gave me after a week or so.

    Shit like that. She was probably around 18 and was knockout gorgeous but I was so fucked up at the time I couldn’t Close a paper bag even if someone else Opened it for me.

    Another time at a Halloween party one of the hottest girls there wanted to dance with me. I hate dancing because it makes me anxious. I just figured it out and put up with it and she started rubbing me all over and then put her head down on my shoulder.

    I backed away or pushed her away or something because I was nervous because her BF was at the party too and was in the other room. Lol. They were engaged and guess what? Later that year they broke the engagement off. Could’ve got that shit while the getting was good.

    Had girls come onto me with strong dead giveaway IOI’s like rubbing my legs and shit and I just didn’t do anything.”

    And yet, nobody believes me when I tell them how COMMON this is with good-looking dudes and how frustrating it is for them to NOT be getting results when they have all these advantages according to everyone else. Lots of them will even lie about their results because they don’t want to admit like “hey, I have this bazooka you all wish you had, but don’t know how to kill that bunny that’s following me around” and the self-loathing and depression and low self-esteem that comes with that (since if you can’t succeed with all those advantages according to everyone else (who don’t understand that Game is more important than Looks), what kind of LOSER must YOU be??)

    This stuff is so common and it’s why I don’t panic when I see a guy like you in the bar and go “O SHIT IT’S A GOOD LOOKING DUDE, BETTER PACK UP MY THINGS, NO ONE’S GETTING LAID TONIGHT BUT HIM!!!” lol It’s very rare to find good-looking rich dudes who ALSO have solid game and specifically can deal with interruptions/obstacles (VS just taking home the girl giving them the free gimme iois or taking the lead, with no one interfering).

  50. Softek,

    Just stop fapping for a couple days in a row as test for yourself. Then go for a week. Read this site: http://yourbrainonporn.com

    Not going to write a novel to share my experience but that site is useful. Porn can be addicting but until you figure out your mental point of origin you’re going to be stuck in that fap loop. Once you begin to break free you will have more time and a lot more energy to spend on your goals. If jerking off is a goal you’re meeting all expectations. Leave the house, get outside and spend time doing stuff that doesn’t give you the opportunity to fap.

    As others have stated you need new dopamine inputs. Hiking, the gym, chopping wood (not slapping it) rowing, kayaking, etc…. Figure out what you enjoy outside. Get outdoors. Now.

    Fapping can be fun, but flirting with chicks is even better. Less talk/writing and more action by YOU is what it takes. Now get outside.

  51. ” Less talk/writing and more action by YOU is what it takes. Now get outside.”

    Amen

    Softek, really enough of the emo… nothing is going to get better for you until you start putting one foot in front of the other… You shared, you vented, you got advice you agree with… get in the game now son. DO.

    In doing you will feel so much better.

  52. @ Blaximus

    I agree with your views on electronic de vice and can also remember a time when people were not addicted to social media.

    Take Karen for instance,if there was an EMP event today you would find her out in the lawn stirring up dog shit and giggling at the flies.As this is the full extent of her skill and stirring up shit to get a reaction has become her favorite pastime.

  53. Stuffy says:

    >Take Karen for instance,if there was an EMP event today you would find her out in the lawn stirring up dog shit and giggling at the flies.As this is the full extent of her skill and stirring up shit to get a reaction has become her favorite pastime.
    >

    Yes…like all rich girls…I just live for the thrill of it all!

  54. In re-watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest the other day, I discovered a film with *far* more gender symbolism then I had noted upon first viewing some time ago.

    Kesey, the author of the novel upon which the film was based, evinced grave dissatisfaction with the transference of his work to film. However, the underlying theme expressed in both genres is unquestionably present.

    The Emerging Gynocracy was experiencing its first birth pangs around the time his novel was penned…as the dreaded (@ T.R.M) Woman in Power was making Her seminal appearance on the American Stage.

    With Nurse Ratchet emasculating the (ostensibly) male members of her ward with ease, the book conveyed the quiet reality of the first rumblings of the Great Shift of Power between the genders at home.

    The symbolism was delicious! When the Nurse afforded McMurphy the chance to watch the baseball game on TV *if* he could get a majority of males on the ward to support his change of policy…a “raising of their hands” was required (symbolizing the erect phallus, of course)…the Nurse…utilizing Her Immense power as both a female first and the authority her job afforded her quickly quashed the insurrection (lol) with a synergy of duplicity, guile, & her superior language skills…three traits males have been deficient in since time immemorial vis a vis Women.

    Then, after McMurphy had been quietly put through the pre-frontal procedure to properly mute his masculine urges…The Chief pulls up the water fountain in overt protest…causing a huge gushing forth in a steady upward stream (quite geyser like)…to symbolize masculine ejaculation…which was followed up by a smashing through of the “mesh screen” (sooo hymen like) that confined him to the ward via nascent Feminine Power…on the way to Canada & freedom…this, of course well before travel between the friendly nations was problematic and subject to government inspection. The Last Stand of The Brotherhood…lol.

    You know, sometimes I am soo brilliant I scare myself…

  55. Her Highness writes:

    >In re-watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest the other day,

    Of course, none of this would have been possible w/o the three white (or in this specific case, black) knights (orderlies) to facilitate the Nurse’s whims…providing Her with the requisite grunt work to keep the recalcitrant males in line…

    Solomon was right…there *is* nothing new under the sun!

    Lol.

  56. And yet, nobody believes me when I tell them how COMMON this is with good-looking dudes and how frustrating it is for them to NOT be getting results when they have all these advantages according to everyone else.

    Yeah, have some empathy for the better looking dudes… LOL

    But seriously… I was a late bloomer. started college at 17, 5’8’sh and 150 lbs, boyish face. Invisible to girls, to me it seemed.

    Over the next year or so, I grew 2 inches and, from getting more into fitness, working out etc. gained 24 lbs… of hard muscle. But I was still operating under my own past image. LOL I had so many girls who were throwing themselves at me and I had no idea, because they weren’t like actually unzipping my pants. Stuff like the Pan American games medalist swimmer girl/model having me in her private dorm room, laying on her bed side by side to “study” and she is showing me her modeling pictures and telling me how she thinks she will stay a virgin and I’m like “great for you”… [Two months later she is banging a swimmer bro lol… and I’m thinking “but you where so intent on marrying as a virgin?”]

    Girls coming over to my dorm to have dinner and hang out. At night at bars, I had a whole series of hot girls I would have given my arm to fuck, hanging out with me and we would be in deep conversations in a corner [guys and girls where always coming up to me and saying I saw you two, you going out/hitting that – I’m like puzzled “nah just friends man, not like that”] but they would mention some “boyfriend back home” or something benign and so I would be in “be a good listener/problem solver” mode [now know as deep rapport]… I was pretty lonely, just thinking like how come none of the girls SAY they want to go out with me…? How come they all have boyfriends?

    Then when I was out, shirtless on my bike, or walking down the street… all these girls would start yelling shit at me “I want to fuck you!!!!” as they drove past in their cars… “you’re so hot”… honking… “Mary me!!!”… shit like that. Sometimes dudes as well LOL. But on campus in the flesh up close, they wouldn’t say anything like that… LOL was very confusing. And depressing.

    So I made plans to transfer schools… About 6 weeks before transferring, news got out… Holy shit… all these girls started coming out of the woodwork, all with the same story “hey… I heard you were transferring!!! OMG… I always thought we might get together… how come we didn’t? I’ll miss you”… I mean, girls I would have killed to be with. But STILL it didn’t really register, other than, “Fuck, why the hell now that I’m leaving would they even bother to say anything?”… a little angry…

    So the kicker is… about a month now before leaving I am out walking around the city and run into two girls and they are like “OMG! It’s you!!! we know you!. You hang out at Club X!!!” and I was like holy shit, these girls know me. There was one club me and a buddy would go hang out at, have some drinks, dance a bit and leave [he had a GF at another school]… But they were there all the time and were watching me, knew about me. I was really flattered. One of them had a crush on me.. so the other, her BFF, was like you two need to hang out. FINALLY somebody took some action LOL. So I fucked this girl on our first “date” [ha actually she fucked me lol] and of course went mental for her. Finally! Found somebody.

    Changed my plans to transfer now to another school in this city, but would miss the first semester. So we do the “long distance thing” in the meantime, I”m flying down to visit once a month… This goes on for like 3 months.. Till I come down on one trip and find out she was cheating with the married manager of the place where she worked. Crushed me, for a month…

    But now the switch flipped… I became mercenary. I knew my value. I developed my killer proto game. And I went back to that city a few months later and destroyed a swath of girls… happily nexting on a whim… Peak Alpha phase for a year and a half… until I met my wife…

    That’s a whole other story…

  57. For ED, you can just get viagra in the mail from Indian Pharmacies. It is no big deal don’t even go to a doctor. Get a pill slicer to make smaller doses.

    ED is generally just stress related and it can cause a feedback loop like Yareally says. When you are stressed, the body shuts down inessential functions. It is perfectly normal.

    Long term you can build up testosterone by loosing weight, eating eggs nuts + red meat, lifting heavy and getting plenty of sleep. But fix the short term problem with viagra now.

  58. I think the hour is propitious to promote “Yeah Really!” to moderator in recognition of the splendidly consistent job he has been doing ferreting out *Persona Non Gratas*…he’s been wrong every time.

  59. @Sentient

    “That’s a whole other story…”

    Have you told that whole other story in blog comments before? Is it interesting? Or does it steal energy from your other stories?

  60. Ooops…probably should read “personas non grata”…I haven’t had any great need to utilize that vernacular since the Salarian gate tumbled circa 410 AD…now if Jeremy needs a first hand look at *real* suffering….

    1. @Karen, if all you continue to do is offer (typically female) snark, insults and non sequiturs based on your uneducated guesses about TRM I’ll be happy to put you back on the ‘bad girls’ list.

      Thus far you’ve proved your worthlessness to any discussion, even the off topic ones.

  61. This Tyler’s Digest is awesome. It’s really giving me a much better understanding of how and why certain routines work… This shit never gets old.

    @Sentient

    My college experience was somewhat similar. Had no idea what an IOI was. Thank God for alcohol.

    I still get honks and shit when I go for runs (it makes me feel so VIOLATED! *eye roll*)… Must be because there’s no risk of them actually having to interact with you. Guys feel the need to yell “Nice shorts!” all the time.. lol. There’s usually cute chicks in the car when that happens. Little things I never would have noticed before.

  62. Andy

    what is great about the Tyler Digest is the practical detail.. Way more helpful after you’ve seen so many theory clips. Highly recommend reading it.

    On girls – when they are safe and nothing can happen they give strong IOI’s… LOL

  63. Andy ” Guys feel the need to yell “Nice shorts!” all the time.. lol.”

    LOL indeed… once i was in a convertible, top down. Buddy driving. we are stopped at a light and I look over. Some mustachioed guy. I look forward… start hearing something… look back over… Dude is flicking his tongue around saying “I wan’t to suck your cock!”… Look at my buddy – “hit the gas!”… LOL gays…

  64. Karen – “Males may have been reduced to tacit 2nd class citizens over the last 25 years in the West, but it is hardly a re-enactment of the Inquisition…there are no reptile pits people are being tossed into…no roasting the (live!) body over a hot fire to obtain a confession of heresy. When you compare the mind boggling tyranny, oppression, hardship, suffering, and indescribable deprivation that ALMOST EVERYONE who has ever lived has been forced to endure…your life has been a hayride. Almost half the planet *still* goes to bed hungry every night. You have nooooooooooo conception of what genuine suffering is…and your ingratitude at the amazing luck to live here & now is mind boggling.”

    A form of this argument was used to justify slavery. Benevolent Christian whites were liberating Africans from the jungles, and providing them with civilization they would not have otherwise had. Many slave owners genuinely believed their slaves should be grateful for their kindness. Abe’s response to these types of arguments were to ask those making them to switch places with their slaves.

  65. @Sentient

    I think the “nice shorts” is usually derogatory, but yeah… gay dudes love me too. Back when I thought looks mattered it was a source of some frustration. lol.

  66. @Sentient

    “Maybe interesting… Alpha – slow betaization – depression – reawakening – Alpha.”

    Glad to hear of the re-awakening. It resonates loudly in your writing and I certainly appreciate your writing. Thanks.

    And yeah, the slow betatization would not be that interesting. The Alpha reawakening is, though.

    (I was greater Beta, lesser Alpha–slow betatization –(too busy or too thoroughly INTJ to be depressed) withdrew–reawakening–greater Beta, lesser Alpha. Now, onward and upward. Happy to engage.

  67. sfer, anyone else, think twice about online pharmacies, especially from India. Something like 20% to 30% of the drugs sold in India are nothing, or even harmful (lead isn’t good to eat). Dosage can be wrong, different from what is specified. Quality control is not a strong point for a lot of Indian pharma.

  68. Victimhood is the primary means women use to manipulate men. And women are natural masters in this black art. Through it, they manufacture debt, turn you into their debtor, and you then owe them.

    Examine this on the micro level. Take, for instance, an argument with your woman. She will escalate the argument by interrupting you, raising her voice, and calling you names. She is laying the trap which will allow her to claim victim status. So, when you return equal fire, she will claim injury, claim victim status, and thus transform you into her debtor. You now owe her for the “harm” you caused her. If you go out with your buddies, she will claim injury, and you will owe her for it. If you stay at work late, you owe her for this injury too. If she’s a stay-at-home mom, she will claim injury for it and claim you owe her for it. If she works, she will claim victim status for having to work — and claim you owe her for it.

    Examine this on the macro level. Nearly every feminist trope is a means create victim status and debt: the wage gap, rape culture, 1 in 4 women raped, fat shaming, slut shaming, lookism, objectification, male privilege, beauty standards. Hell, in the the Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan actually argued that spoiled, pampered, stay-at-home housewives were oppressed!!! Feminism is nothing but natural female manipulation writ large.

    Clearly, no man alive owes any women alive for what dead men may have done to dead women. But women will never pass up an opportunity to manufacture victimhood, turn men into their debtors, and collect on the debt. It’s how they’ve manipulated men since the beginning of time.

  69. “Hell, in the the Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan actually argued that spoiled, pampered, stay-at-home housewives were oppressed!”

    War is peace, Sister.

    What they were actually, of course, was bored. Their lives were so easy, and thus without apparent meaning, that they fell into existential angst.

    But being women they had to claim special victim status, and so the malady they suffered from, which had been named before their great grandparents were born, had “no name.” Like a sixteen year old girl who believes that no one can understand them because no one has ever been jilted by a boyfriend before.

  70. KFG writes:

    >“Hell, in the the Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan actually argued that spoiled, pampered, stay-at-home housewives were oppressed!”
    >

    Genuine happiness *for anyone & everyone* is as elusive as a butterfly…a foray into the O.T. should prove illustrative…

    How many times do we see Jehovah “angry”, “jealous”, “displeased”, “saddened”, and countless other negative emotions?

    So here we have the principle Reigning God for most of the last few thousand years showing signs of severe psychological distress.

    How can that be? He has Everything and He is Everything…and yet his manifestations of melancholy are frequent…leading to some *really* bat shit crazy outbursts that are too well known to merit revisiting.

    The point being is that this search for happiness is nothing more than chasing rainbows…mankind has never been happy and Will Never Be Happy…

    Most everyone’s incarnation is unpleasant…there are simply varying degrees of horror that infringe upon our path through life.

  71. @Karen
    >After vanquishing a particular civilization or culture, the conquerors invariably take on many of the customs and traditions of their victims.

    Not invariably, but almost always. The reasons why are interesting, but won’t elaborate here.

    I noticed you alluded to the fate of Ragnar up above. The HC series is also covering the betaization of the Vikings who invaded France in the dark ages- a classic example.

    They started out as badass Norsemen and those Frenchwomen within 1 generation had turned them into … Frenchmen!

    Kinda parallels the process I’ve seen happen to badass young bucks who buy into the Great Betamerican Dream …

  72. RT says:

    >@Karen, if all you continue to do is offer (typically female) snark, insults and non sequiturs based on your uneducated guesses about TRM I’ll be happy to put you back on the ‘bad girls’ list.

    Thus far you’ve proved your worthlessness to any discussion, even the off topic ones.
    >

    I thought we were friends…I always speak so well of you…

    *Sighs*

  73. “What they were actually, of course, was bored. Their lives were so easy, and thus without apparent meaning, that they fell into existential angst.”

    @kfg

    Totally agree. It’s only taking them 50 years plus to figure out that work isn’t the answer… Too bad TRM didn’t exist back then (Giving bored house wives something to do by stalking the comments section)

  74. @kfg

    “What they were actually, of course, was bored. Their lives were so easy, and thus without apparent meaning, that they fell into existential angst.”

    Boredom has always been the chief complaint of the privileged class!!

    “But being women they had to claim special victim status, and so the malady they suffered from, which had been named before their great grandparents were born, had “no name.” Like a sixteen year old girl who believes that no one can understand them because no one has ever been jilted by a boyfriend before.”

    Women are masters in the black art of victimhood debt creation. I know spoiled, pampered, stay at home moms who claim victim status: they say they “sacrificed their careers,” or they’re “stuck at home.” Through this manipulate their husbands. If they get divorced, they will actually feel entitled to alimony as a reward for not working.

    I like to do bike rides in my neighborhood and surrounding suburbs in early afternoon. I observe hordes of these pampered princesses walking, jogging, lounging, doing yoga, having leisurely coffee at the coffee house, eating lunch with their fellow princesses, shopping, hanging out in parks. The only men I see are working on the street, fixing electrical lines, cleaning the pools, and cutting the grass.

    These princesses have the most successful scam going. They get to live lives of leisure while being rewarded for victim status.

  75. “These princesses have the most successful scam going. They get to live lives of leisure while being rewarded for victim status.”

    For whatever it’s worth my wife is one of these princesses, and I’d get a fairly regular dose of “WAH, my life is so HARD…” It’s difficult to hold back because of how utterly absurd it is… Well, it’s been good month since I’ve gotten any complaining… I just stopped responding to it. Like, I wouldn’t even acknowledge that she was speaking at all. Worked like a charm! haha. Who knew it could be so easy.

  76. Fuck.

    I’ve just realized how much of a herb I’ve become.

    I’ve been with a girl I truly love for 2.5 years and I’m thinking about getting married (I know..). She’s generally sweet, and feminine, but I’m beginning to see the threads at the edges of our relationship begin to unravel.

    1) She starts talking about marriage, then tells me she doesn’t want to change her last name – we’re both doctors and her rationale is that she does not want to go through the process of changing all the professional/legal documents. It’s too much to ask. Notably, her best friend who is already engaged will not change her name either.

    2) We get into brief but intense arguments about me supporting Trump.

    She first thought I was jerking her around about Trump but now she realizes how genuine I am in my support. The arguments end when she dismisses herself from the conversation and a few hours later we just talk about other stuff and act like nothing happened.

    3) We are long distance (about a 3 hour drive). She wants me to move in with her after I’m finished with my program (which will finish a couple of years prior to hers). I don’t really want to but I love her.

    I’m just not sure where to go from here. I’ve invested a lot of myself into this relationship and for the most part I love spending time with her, but I’m finally starting to see the warning signs. Is there any way for me to reclaim hand in the relationship?

  77. Matlock says:

    >For whatever it’s worth my wife is one of these princesses, and I’d get a fairly regular dose of “WAH, my life is so HARD…” It’s difficult to hold back because of how utterly absurd it is… Well, it’s been good month since I’ve gotten any complaining… I just stopped responding to it. Like, I wouldn’t even acknowledge that she was speaking at all. Worked like a charm! haha. Who knew it could be so easy.
    >

    That you subsidize such indolence invalidates any claim you might make to being a “red-pill” male…lol.

  78. @Andy

    lol. If she worked, she would whine about that. It’s how they manipulate us.

    The thing is: stay at home mommying is not difficult. There’s no rush-hour drive, no taxes, no boss to please, no customers, zero risk of occupational injury, no deadlines, no cut-throat competitive work place politics. Can’t be fired for cause. And if she is fired, she gets a severance package of half of your income.

    After two years, children become easily managed. After five, it turns into a party time kush job. Last September at 9 AM., the stay at home moms across the street from me celebrated first day of school by opening a bottle of champagne.

    On my afternoon bike rides, I observe these stay at home princesses. They have carefree, stress free, happy looks on their faces. The men I see going to and from work look angry and stressed.

  79. Milo Fan,

    Keep this in mind. She is far past her prime. You are not yet at the height of your SMV. If you stay in shape, develop decent game, and once you become established in your profession, you will be able to score like you won’t believe.

    If she wants to marry you, you set the terms. She needs you more than you need her.

  80. @Karen

    I acquaint myself with all the world history the History Channel and Starz, and Netflix, have to offer … wait a minute …

    Stop buttering me up! I refuse to be pegged …

  81. Dionysus says:

    >lol. If she worked, she would whine about that. It’s how they manipulate us.

    That is hilarious.

    Here is an Essential Truth I will dispense free of charge…

    In a marital contract, the individual in the lesser financial position has everything to gain…while the well-to-do partner has everything to lose.

    What thinking person willfully assumes liability?

    I sort of observe humanity at a distance…and I cannot help but be confounded by the extraordinarily pervasive masochism endemic to your species.

    But this is not rare. If one thinks it odd that someone would willfully sign their life savings over to another…I would ask you to consider that all of the institutions of our society…our military, our educational system, our very culture itself…become entangled in strange, bizarre, self defeating habits and behavior…and for decades not a single soul will find the courage, wisdom or perspective to escape…indeed, whole nations go quite mad from time to time.

    Delusions pass and people do come to their senses. The only salient question is “will it be to late?”

    Lol

  82. “These princesses have the most successful scam going. They get to live lives of leisure while being rewarded for victim status.”

    How self aware are these types of women? I’ve never met an accomplished woman with this attitude except when it comes to a divorce. I suspect this attitude prevents accomplishment. This might be why the percentage of women in the STEM fields only approaches that of men in developing countries. There are just not enough resources in developing countries to pull off this scam.

  83. “Like, I wouldn’t even acknowledge that she was speaking at all. Worked like a charm!”

    Not that it matters, but I suppose I should mention that I have been happily rewarding her with attention when she is pleasant. Also, no real negative attention when she complains… just… uninterested.

    Training her you might say. Like a dog.

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