Assurances

circusgirl

In 2015 women were offered workplace benefits that would allow them to freeze their eggs in order to grant them a promise of a future family irrespective of the personal or career choices they make in life. Granted, this benefit is only reserved for higher up positions in select tech firms that can afford to make a showing of concern for women’s professional and family aspirations (as a PR effort), but the message of even having an option to reserve giving birth at a later phase in life is clear:

Women want an assurance of Hypergamous optimization.

Whether it’s on the personal scale of socially engineering generations of men to accommodate this, or on the larger, more direct scale of legislating those assurances into common law, the underlying imperative is making that optimization as certain as possible for the largest number of women.

It’s important to remember that Hypergamy is rooted in doubt; doubt that any one man might serve to optimally satisfy the dual nature of women’s sexual strategy – optimal sexual agency for optimal genetic selection, and then optimal provisioning for optimal parental investment in offspring – Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks. This doubt of optimization defines the subconscious hindbrain experience for women throughout all phases of their lives.

I covered these phases in Preventive Medicine the book, but to keep things brief, it’s a necessary review when we consider how this doubt extrapolates from the biological level, to the neurological level, on to the personal experiential level, to the interpersonal/intersexual, and on to the great societal and political level. Ensuring Hypergamy is optimized for a majority of women, irrespective of their own suitability for a majority of men, (and at the complete abdication of men’s sexual strategies) is at the root of all feminine empowerment, all socialization of feminine primacy, all cultural efforts to normalize it, and all legislation determined to enforce it.

The latent purpose of developing technology to freeze a woman’s eggs, for instance, is to cheat (or give the impression of being able to cheat) the otherwise naturalistic process of fertility that women are beholden to.

The latent purpose of every pop-cultural trend that contributes to the perception that women can realistically exceed the window of their fertility is offered as an assurance that women have more time than would be naturalistically expected to optimize Hypergamy.

Ostensibly the message for women is the cliché of ‘having it all’ – reassuring women that they can have a rewarding career and make a significant difference in their lives and the lives of others as well as realistically having a meaningful family experience later in life. The unspoken hindbrain message is that a woman has more time to optimize Hypergamy.

If this doubt ensuring requires men’s sacrifices or special dispensations in order to accommodate women’s naturalistic realities or individual deficiencies, those requirements are simply means to an end.

Furthermore, the Feminine Imperative makes exhaustive effort in social, personal and political spheres to assure women that even when their Hypergamous choices prove debilitating or damaging that they have the prerogative to reset their chances at optimization proactively or retroactively.

Whether this is realistic or not is irrelevant to the messaging. This messaging is couched in the social expectation that men are required to afford women this forgiveness of past indiscretions (single motherhood, Alpha Widows, etc.), but again, the purpose of this reset is to provide women with the maximum amount of leeway in consolidating on an optimized Hypergamy.

In Nursing Power I outlined the power dynamic behind women’s drive to maintain the primacy of a feminine defined social order, but it’s too easy to simply think that women’s ultimate end of attaining power is for the sake of power alone. That want for power is driven by the obsessive hindbrain need to quell the doubt that Hypergamy instills in women. All we need do is look at the societal changes women will push to legislate for once they have even marginal degrees of power.

Margins of Power

Serendipitously commenter Not Born This Morning took me to task on this idea in the last comment thread:

@ Rollo – “The new, post-sexual revolution order is a model ostensibly based on ‘sexual freedom’, but what this really represents is a return to that naturalistic sexual order based on pre-agrarian, evolutionarily incentivized hypergamy.”

This is not true.

The naturalistic sexual social order of pre-agrarian human existence expressed BOTH genders natural sexuality without preference of one over the other or the perversion of both that we see today. Today’s laws and social conventions prevent men from returning to THEIR natural sexuality. We are not returning to the naturalistic sexual social order and there is no indication that we will any time soon.

Many of todays “betas” are restrained “alphas”. Law and social convention restrains them.

As a point of order here, I wasn’t suggesting that ‘societally’ western culture is returning to anything like a pre-agrarian sexual paradigm, but rather that pre-agrarian evolved paradigm of Hypergamy is informing the social narrative. Both pre and post agrarian, Hypergamy still influenced and determined our socio-sexual direction – men performed, women chose.

It is not idealism, intellectualism, mental masturbation or “cultural changes” that determine human behavior. We like to pretend that emotional idealism steers history but it never has and never will. We think women are “liberated” by laws and social conventions but they are not. The laws and social conventions that we think make it possible for women to “enjoy” new “freedom” are not the cause, they are only ideals and “paradigms” that result from the real cause.

These laws and social conventions are only thoughts, documents and behavioral practices that confirm what has already happened and been accepted. Women have been liberated from responsibilities and hardships they faced prior to agriculture.

Technology and industrialization were the real enablers of female “liberation” and “freedom”. Today, because of technology, we are relatively safe from predators, famine, disease, and tribes of other humans, etc. We are intellectually advanced (maybe) but definitely physically and mentally weaker. Today’s human female does not need the superior strength, tenacity, strategic intelligence and initiative possessed by surviving males in pre-agrarian tribal groups. Back then, she and her children could not have survived without it him. Today we breed mostly wanna be hyenas and betas and they are voting accordingly.

While we may have a greater mastery over our environment and women may not need strength, tenacity, etc. women’s sexual nature is still informed by an evolved Hypergamy that responds to, and is aroused by, these cues in men.

However, NBTM has a point. Perhaps I should revise that idea, but I will say that post-Sex Rev, the paradigm has favored women’s sexual strategy as the one to define our predominant social order (i.e. unfettered Hypergamy).

Given that freedom and preferential deference to women’s imperatives in a social context, women use both to optimize on a Hypergamy that evolved from pre-agrarian physical and social environments.

Thus, with all the Beta security/provisioning aspects of Hypergamy being met by men (either directly or indirectly) the Alpha sexuality/breeding aspect of Hypergamy is the only thing not directly or immediately available to women without their own qualification for it.

And even this is progressively being accounted for both socially and legislatively with regard to sexual consent law ambiguities, ubiquitous abortion, divorce concessions and curbing every trivial expression of male sexuality from men not ‘worthy’ of expressing it. In fact virtually every socially mandated convention that limits men’s sexual expression or his most marginal want of qualification in women is really an effort in forcing men to comply with women’s need for optimizing Hypergamy.

That’s an important footnote in a social order that’s primarily focused on women’s Hypergamy as the predominant one, and then one that is primarily focused on men’s Alpha side sexual suitability. Beta provisioning needs being relatively assured, women demand satisfaction, qualified and verified satisfaction, of men’s suitability in an Alpha breeding context.

For example:

You’ll have to forgive me for using this video of Gronk (the first has been making the rounds on Twitter), but his nature, attitude and behavior are illustrative of a Hypergamous social order that forgives the excesses of a confirmed Alpha.

I stated in a prior essay that women will break rules for Alphas, but create and impose more rules on Betas while expecting compliance from them. This can be extended to the greater whole of a society based on the Feminine Imperative; feminine social mores forgive the Alpha while punishing the impotent Beta for daring to qualify himself as an Alpha.

One reason women despise the undeniable efficacy of Game is because it devises to bypass women’s innate, evolved filters for determining men’s Alpha suitability. Game depends on triggering women’s emotional states, bad or good, so in addition to intentionally working around her filters, Game also creates an emotional impact.

Bypassing women’s filters, and misrepresenting (or impersonating) a genuine Alpha article is a capitol offense to Hypergamous doubt. So it should come as no surprise that the most egregious laws and social mandates with regards to men’s “appropriate” sexual conduct center on women’s qualifying men and verifying his value to her optimization.

Example: Assemblyman Troy Singleton wants to introduce a bill that would make misrepresenting oneself as a means to sex to be equatable to rape-by-fraud:.

And thus we come to NBTM’s assertion that,…

Today’s laws and social conventions prevent men from returning to THEIR natural sexuality. We are not returning to the naturalistic sexual social order and there is no indication that we will any time soon.

Through cultural, religious or physical means Hypergamy has always had contingencies to keep it in check. These contingencies (rape included unfortunately) are all efforts for men’s assurances of paternity and fidelity in a long term mate, and ultimately (hopefully) constitute men’s exercising an influence on the direction of his culture and species.

From Martie Hasslton on Sexual Pluralism and Mating Strategies:

According to strategic pluralism theory (Gangestad & Simpson, 2000), men have evolved to pursue reproductive strategies that are contingent on their value on the mating market. More attractive men accrue reproductive benefits from spending more time seeking multiple mating partners and relatively less time investing in offspring. In contrast, the reproductive effort of less attractive men, who do not have the same mating opportunities, is better allocated to investing heavily in their mates and offspring and spending relatively less time seeking additional mates.

I’ve emphasized the last bit here because it’s important to consider that the reproductive efforts of lower SMV men necessitate the institution of social structures that also (potentially) ensure his narrowly invested efforts in fewer (or one) mate and his offspring. That man cannot afford to be caught on the losing end of polyandry or cuckoldry. Thus the 80% of men with the most investment and most to lose in the conflict of women’s sexual strategy (Hypergamy) establish social conventions to develop assurances of their own.

Those social structures, religions doctrines and various cultural norms are contingent insurances against the results of a society based on unfettered Hypergamy. In essence those structures were established as buffers against the lack of influence men would have in a society that unilaterally empowers women’s Hypergamy and removes any decision making influence.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

399 comments on “Assurances

  1. Short FR

    Was on a flight today next to a just turned 18 HB6 (after the dude between us moved to sit with his wife) and decided to game a bit despite running on two hours of sleep. I can only give one description: like shooting fish in a barrel. Now that I’ve read a bunch, worked on Game, and can read people better it was super easy to get her hooked.

    I fed her fantasies (that are my actual life and plans), teased her mercilessly, would get her mad then show her something amazing again… she was preening, biting her lower lip, turning sideways in the seat to face me, and displaying a huge grin even when tremendously offended. It all reminded me so much of my first date with my ex that it finally clicked: cute young chicks really ARE easy to me now, as I now grasp most of the concepts I accidentally hit on back then.

    I got her contact info to send her a link to my photography she was gushing over, but apparently my phone opted not to save it properly. Too bad. She seemed like one that might be fun to have for a visit. At any rate, it was a definite reassurance that I just need to consistently work better locations; if her parents hadn’t been sitting like 3 or 4 rows back I’d have had her making out with me before touchdown.At any rate, a series of goof ups left me trapped in Toronto for the night. I’m gonna grab a nap then hit up the city… no idea if anything will be going on Monday night, but it’s worth finding out.

  2. @Newton,

    You’re experiencing separation anxiety, coming down from the oxytocin. This is absolutely normal. As Rollo, said you need to detox.

    This could have been orders of magnitude worse if you had acceded to her ultimatum, married, and became her beta bitch… with the her inevitably fucking the Chad next door. Now that would have been painful!

    Dude, you dodged a bullet. Take some time to grieve the passing of an old paradigm and then get fucking busy.

    How can I make it sound so easy? It’s not. It’s hard, slogging in the mud,
    work, but everyday gets easier. Been there and done it. Five years ago, I had to walk away a marriage that did not and would never add the value to my life that I had come to merit. Started over, literally… 50 yo, in a small apartment with just a dinette, couch, and bed. Best. Decision. I Ever. Made. First 6 months were a bit rough but I had a plan and I worked it. Now in best health/shape of my life, career back on track, in my dream job doing cutting edge work, comfortable house by a lazy river, seeing the world as I always wanted, great relationship with a woman who knows I’m the prize. Life is better than good.

    Dude, you’re 28 yo with your whole life in front of you and you’re going to fucking kill it! I’d be jealous if it wasn’t for the small detail that I’m very content in the paradigm I’ve created for myself.

    Sounds like you’ve got a vision… Make it your passion and work it to perfection.

  3. ” I can only give one description: like shooting fish in a barrel”

    first, mad props on talking to her, and it seems like you were positive and generally in a gaming mood.

    “she was preening, biting her lower lip, turning sideways in the seat to face me, and displaying a huge grin even when tremendously offended.”

    k….
    well if it was like shooting fish in a barrel
    and she was super interested

    why no makeout? or anything?

    “if her parents hadn’t been sitting like 3 or 4 rows back I’d have had her making out with me before touchdown”

    lol
    they don’t give a shit about that stuff.
    sounds like they were out of sight, which is all that usually matters.

    all of this stuff you’re doing is great and you’re seeing reactions, but it doesn’t mean anything unless you do something with it.

  4. @scrib
    “All of life is a competition. For food, shelter, money, friends, jobs – pussy. The man who resents this or finds this “wrong” is merely erecting an ego buffer to protect him from experiencing his failure. This is the burden of performance Rollo talks about – and the powerful, competent man shoulders this burden gladly and loves the game. In fact, one could say becoming a man is not only about developing mastery but also about playing all the games of life joyfully – win, lose or draw.”

    Excellent words, brother… Classical stoicism.

    Men are built for struggle & hardship. It’s hardwired into our DNA… without it, we wither away and die. The burden of performance is foremost and only. to ourselves.

    Life is a banquet and women are just the dessert.

  5. @Newton

    Just one problem: IT HURTS. IT FUCKING HURTS. OH MY FUCKING GOD NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THIS.

    that’s the FI pushing on you…and its had a LONG time to develop effective control strategies…and in addition to THAT you have cognitive dissonance happening too…

    BUT…this is a great opportunity for you…and it’s something you can do RIGHT NOW…it’s called state control, so here’s what you do. you put on some ‘upbeat music’ and just listen to it…easy peasy…lol…THEN, you just notice how your mood (state) changes…it wouldn’t hurt you to journal about this either…

    Full disclosure: this is the first time in my life I´m writing on an Internet board to vent. Never done it. Didn´t think it could help. But right now, I feel like I´m gonna drown if I stop typing.

    vent away…we like FRs…do it for the lurkers…you know, men who are going through the exact same shit, but don’t post…it shows them they’re not alone…

    I´m gonna write my feelings down.

    journaling is a great idea…posting or not…

    I´ll probably come back here a lot the next few days.

    just leave a browser open and hit refresh whenever you need to…it’s cheaper than therapy…lol

    It´s kinda bad that my first time communicating with guys I respect (Rollo, YaReally, Scray, Gregg, Wala, etc) is to bitch about how much it sucks to let a girl go, but I kinda see you all as older brothers (no lie), so fuck it, I can´t deal with this shit alone right now.

    none of those guys (or me either) want you to have to deal with it alone…and we all know that red pill buddies are pretty thin ‘on the ground’…that’s why WE are here, too…

    good luck!

  6. @scribblerg

    if she’s rubbing her thigh, you need to bounce her RIGHT NOW…lol…

    don’t even think… just get up, go over to her and say ‘let’s go…’ then see what happens…

    good luck!

  7. mfriedrich2012,

    the next thing (since women are always compensated for perceived “loss”) will be, 10 years from now, some OTHER Erin Brokovich type lawyer claiming, “they sold our clients shitty egg-freezing technology, taking it to the lowest bidder to save the company money when provided this necessary benefit”

    Picture in 2025, that semi-fat, 40-something gal testifying before the House Subcommittee on Women getting Shit Taken Care of that they Want/Need, crying that she could not BELIEVE that after her company paid for her eggs to be frozen, and also for a donor off some Alpha sperm registry, that she STILL couldn’t get pregnant–and that her company’s response was “we’re sorry, sometimes these things are imperfect and we apologize that we did not help you realize the end game to your carousel by guaranteeing you a fertility clinic with a 100 percent success rate” and how “all they offered me was $100,000 and 6 months off to ‘heal’ ” (reaching for her kleenex, cupping the mic).

    Women: It’s their roller coaster, and all of the men are just running around below with mattresses ensuring if they fall or jump off, men are there to catch them.

  8. @kfg

    “I have lost fucking years of my life to that hurt.”

    If you don´t mind me asking, why did it take so long? Is it always the case? I don´t know if I could handle a month of what I´m feeling right now, let alone years. Sounds insane.

    “Grab the rope and hang on as long as you need to. You aren’t “being a bother,” Brother.”

    Thanks, man. That means a lot.

    @Eon56

    “But just like you, I was always thinking bout the girl. I went back to her. No matter what you do, do not do this. You will find things out about her that you do not Want to know. Leave things like they are, keep your good opinion of her.”

    Can you elaborate on this? I could use the reference.

    I´m also wondering if your post was cut in half or something. It ends abruptly with an “I”.

    @Sentient

    “I think what you feel more is perhaps guilt”

    Some, yeah.

    “And nothing will erase her like another. Happy Hunting.”

    Thanks. I do hope it´s that easy.

    “And this is just the typical shit testing, trying to get what she wanted and if it didn’t you can bet an ultimatum was going to come. Because it had to, right?”

    I do wish I could give you a solid response on this, but by the end of it (last few months) I wasn´t exactly avoiding drama. We fell into a cycle of arguing, big fight, awesome angry sex, make peace, argue again, and so on. So I can´t chalk it up to “shit testing”.

    @Betamaxed

    “Stay the course!”

    I hope I´m able to.

    @IAS

    “I don’t know if ending the relationship myself ASAP would be the best for her, whereas in Newton’s case I’m fairly sure he was actually fairly selfless ending it at 28 (although it is fair to point out he seems to only have ended it after his LTR started misbehaving).”

    Yeah, that´s fair. Who knows if I would have the balls to do it if everything had stayed perfect. Quite possibly I´d have written this post 3 or 4 years from now, making things even more complicated.

    @ theasdgamer

    “It helps to know that you’re being bombarded with hormones and that it will get better. Your gf is an addiction that you will kick, but it will take time. Oneitis is an addiction.
    In the meantime, oh fuck, it hurts so bad.”

    Thank you. That makes sense.

    @SJF

    “I don’t have any practical advice for the short term. But the companionship of men will do you some good.
    We’re here for you. That’s what the manosphere was invented for.”

    For sure. Thank you.

    “Perhaps “puke it out” would be better advice.”

    English is not my first language. Is there a joke in there?

    @Rollo Tomassi

    “you need to detox”

    For sure. Re-reading your writing helps.

    “I’ll comment more later.”

    Please do.

    @Craiger247

    “The next bout of pain will be how quickly she seems to “move on”, so brace yourself for that. Women move on with a coldness that will shock someone of your experience.”

    I´m sure that will hurt, but it would make things easier in the context of inevitability/closure. I worry about the opposite: both of us being unable to move on, wasting time by constantly relapsing, trying to rekindle the relationship, etc. As I said before, I´m not sure I could stay away if she contacted me. Perhaps part of me even wants that, desperately.

    @Craig

    “here is your song, bro”

    Funny thing is I even look like that vocalist. Tattoos and all. She´s the opposite: cute and nerdy. We were that contrasting couple that made people stare.

    @scribblerg

    I think you´re getting me and IAS mixed up.

    @Chump No More

    “This could have been orders of magnitude worse if you had acceded to her ultimatum, married, and became her beta bitch… with the her inevitably fucking the Chad next door. Now that would have been painful!”

    I see your point, but in my case it was more of a personality/filosophy problem. I was never beta in the relationship. Not once in 8 years. This girls saw me as a “bad boy” or “rebel” all the way, always has.

    The problem recently has been that I´ve probably been falling under what Black Dragon calls the “Alpha 1.0 mindset” – agressive and confident, but emotional, drama-seeking, no chill.

    I don´t know if marrying her would have been a disaster, as I know I would have been able to keep hand in the relationship… but the thing is that I didn´t want to do it. Not right now. I would be sacrificing a lot (in my own head), and would probably end up taking it out on her (or worse, on an eventual kid).

    “Dude, you’re 28 yo with your whole life in front of you and you’re going to fucking kill it! I’d be jealous if it wasn’t for the small detail that I’m very content in the paradigm I’ve created for myself.”

    I hope you´re right, man. Thanks for this.

    @having a bad day

    “vent away…we like FRs…do it for the lurkers…you know, men who are going through the exact same shit, but don’t post…it shows them they’re not alone…”

    You´re right.

    “just leave a browser open and hit refresh whenever you need to…it’s cheaper than therapy…lol”

    Heh. You´ve literally read my mind.

  9. @Newton: not criticizing you. At 28 she still has a very solid shot at getting at the very least a BB “provider” and having kids (with him or with someone else’s genes). And she could have left earlier of her own volition.

    As I said, my wife is mid-30s. Although I only recently figured out she really does want kids. She used to say she didn’t know until fairly recently. Of course had I known about RP earlier maybe I’d have interpreted that more correctly.

  10. Sun Wukong

    An Oct FR to inspire your cold Approach hunt mission tonight… Get after it with gusto! (oh and you should have made out with that plane girl….!!!)

    “Noel – I’ll leave this here since your an SFO dude… and yes mods this may be the longest post this year…

    OK so post Chinese hot girl I’m thinking about some game and moving on… It’s twilight, after work, so I hit the streets and try and “run some game” and shake off the memory of Lotus Flower.

    I actually hate my whole mindset of “running game” and actively doing all the little things to make something happen… Be out, Spot, Approach etc etc. It’s still a hassle for me to actively engage in this manner. Like just chilling someplace and then there is a girl there… booom… no problems. My best stuff by far. Just rolls off with little effort.

    But saying well it’s 6:30 on Wednesday, go get after it… No lies, still takes a bit of doing, even when you want to. So I gird up and hit the streets. Walk walk walk… pass up 15 maybe 20 opportunities… walk walk walk. Part of my mind is still high on the Chinese 9, like why would I open this 6 randomly… Part of my mind is just jittery and nervous. Cop out.

    I’m moving to the paradigm of just focusing on the hottest girls for a couple of reasons, first it’s more of a challenge and second, as a married guy the potential complications really don’t justify the 6/7 but turns out is crazy girl.

    So I’m walking walking walking. My scout mission is peering into Happy Hour bars and analyzing the sets in 2 minutes… Lot’s of Hen Parties, you know, 3 girls out from work fully engaged with each other, half married or what not. so early too… I wander in a few place and listen to the sets. Nothing happening.

    Then down a side street a see a really good looking blonde. Solid 8. she is by herself standing by the curb. fuck. I walk 5 feet past her and then say to myself, dude for real? and turn and walk back to her… here we go. I open her with a standard daygame approach… “just walked by you and wanted to say hello… you look really cute”. she is for 10 seconds reserved but once the really cute hits her she cant help but smile and say “ohhh thanks”. I ask her what she is up too and she say she is waiting for a “friend” and they are going into a political talk in the building behind her. we banter a little around this. My heart is pumping hard and I am trying to maintain the calm collected exterior. It happens guys. I’m intrigued and fascinated by my own reactions and slightly pissed, because if this hot girl was next to me by herself in a bar… well I have very good results there.

    So her friend will be there any minute (which I now deduce is probably a guy) and I hold it together enough – good direct eye contact – to get out a number attempt, which in itself is amusing because I never do numbers and she SHOOTS ME DOWN, but very nicely (of course, guys seriously they LOVE your attention!). I said “well sounds like you are going to be tied up here a bit, let me get your number and we can do something later”. Yeah yeah… Let me get… I felt it roll off my tongue. Of course she declined… Nicely. Thanks I can’t etc. I slunk away inside… but knew of course a hedged request like that was doomed… just slipped out.

    Blood still pumping… keep walking around Union Square. Lot’s of people out and about, lot’s of tourists and families. I post up on a corner and just let the waves of people wash over me. A few incidental contacts, some help with directions, a few head nods and what’s ups that don’t go anywhere. But I’m feeling better. starting to get a bit of a vibe…

    See another 8 with headphones in and catch her look at me for a half sec. she is stopped at the light. Walk right up to her, motion her headphones out and ask her “where you going” and of course she answer and gives me the exact hotel she is going to (girls respond to male authority and leading!!!) and then the light changes and she walks on…. LOL. I had to laugh at that one. But at least I jumped right on it. walk walk walk. walk to another bar, dead.

    7PM now. Walking by a hotel and see a cue american girl sitting on the steps. 6.5 I’d say. She is 27, 5’3 and tells me later 105 lbs. I’d say 110. Pretty face. and this is where game awareness comes to play. This is why we read the blogs and act. I have a sense… so I post up near her lean back on the wall and DON’T look at her. cross my arms and watch the crowd. Two minutes later she is opening me. She asks me if I am a “professor”…

    and just like that… I see the huge window open. Female to Male interest…. duh! So we get into it. I do my traditional no name thing and make her guess what I do, she keeps on the Professor theme and i let it run a bit. she is shit testing me a bit about my clothes and such and I A&A and neg her back. Some attraction forming. After about 15 minutes I put my hand out and say let’s go. She takes my hand “where are we going?” I tell her I’m thirsty she can buy me a drink. she tells me I should buy, and I say you buy one and then I will. she says she’s had a drink, so I say good you buy two then. Then – I’ve read of this but didn’t ever experience it- she goes to give me the big purse she has to carry… and I laugh at her and tell her it really doesn’t match my shoes. she say “Oh you’re an asshole aren’t you” and I tell her “well it’s probably only going to get worse from here”… LOL

    I take her hand, and we are walking hand in hand around the corner… I’m looking for any bar. she is still trying to guess what I am a professor in, I tell her “orgasmology” (thanks IjjjI at sedfast!) and she laughs. We reach a bar, get some seats and have a drink. she is curled up on her stool, I am negging her and then also trying to get some comfort and rapport going. Keep the boyfriend posture kino going strong… hand on her hand, playing with her hand, playing with her wrist tattoo. The I just pull her close and kiss her. No tongue. Just a straight kiss and she does not react either way. so this is good. I let it sit. she gets a little bit loud at one point and I put my hand over her mouth and tell her to chill out (good dominance move) with serious strong eye.

    We then keep chatting, basic stuff. But she does get on about Trump. Tell you what, if Left Coast girls with masters in Psych from Smith are intrigued with Trump – god damn he has a chance! At this point she FINALLY looks at my finger and holds it up with my ring on it. Seriously girls DO NOT notice right away. she gives me the knowing WTF look.. I just lean back and say “oh – do you like gold? It’s nice isn’t it”. and she is like you are married? I just shrug, yeah.

    So here comes the fun part. A little while later I say let’s split, you need to pay and she thinks I already paid. I tell her no I didn’t you need to pay the man. And she storms off in a huff and leaves the bar. Frankly I’m just amused at this. I chill, finish my drink pay the round and head out. A good 5 or 10 minutes later…

    I am walking by and she is waiting out there, sitting smoking a cigarette. So I go tell her she owes me for the round. some more negging and such. I tell her it’s disgusting she is sitting on the ground and then start to solicit homeless donations for her from strangers… and she is dying laughing at this, all these tourist looking at her.

    So I give her my hand and pull her up. Push her hard against the wall and go to kiss her, but now she gives me the cheek, says she won’t kiss me. LOL. I pull back, I ignore her lips, just graze her cheek with mine and then slowly, slowly, slowly run my cheek and lips down her neck very very lightly up and back to her ear and back down. No tongue…! No sucking! this isn’t high school man (Greg Elliot do you get the reference?)… this is something I picked up I think on Sedfast. delay… Her eyes are rolling now and she is leaning into me. Then I push her away.

    She then storms off in a huff, shaking her ass for all it’s worth… walks like 25 feet away and gets in the taxi line at the hotel. I just stand there chill. Lean back against the wall… one foot up on the wall. Arms crossed. and i just wait…. just wait… It’s a delicious moment. maybe 4 minutes goes buy. I am not looking at her, just smiling, watching the crowd walk buy.

    and then i see her… eyes focused… marching up to me… determined… I just look at her… she puts her hand son my shoulders, pushes me back against the wall and thrusts her tongue down my throat for all it is worth…. LOL…. Like a high school chick. I take her in arms, turn her around and push her against the wall, grab her face with my hand and pull it back and then go in holding her face and throat… tell her relax… easy… like this… and go back with softer, more sensuous kissing… Pull her waist into mine…

    People are walking all around… we relax… she says she wants my number… I say no. she says she will give me hers… I say I don’t have my phone (it’s in my pocket)… She digs though her big purse and gets a pen. she starts writing her number on my palm… the pen is giving out on the last 3 digits and she is sucking the tip and furiously pressing it into my hand to finish…

    She kisses me again and says if I don’t call her within 20 minutes she is going to track me down and kill me… LOL!!! She goes back to the cab line and I split. She does not know my name.

    Yeah I could have easily bounced her back to my room. But again, I’m looking for the real high value now… avoid complications… The point is, now it’s just 8PM… there is a whole night yet ahead. If a 48 YO married dude can walk the street in a strange city for an hour and pick up a very fuckable girl… what the fuck are you young single guys doing???? It’s all out there man. You have ALL the tools (CH, Sedfast, RSD, YaReally Archive)… Go out and prosper my men…!!!

    Have fun!”

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/09/30/lena-dunham-game/#comment-712404

  11. @ Sentient

    FR

    I was at a bar and saw a hottie alone at a table. I asked her if there was someone around whose permission I needed to ask in order to ask her to dance. She said that her bf was out smoking, but she’d like to dance with me. Cool. We connected very well on the dance floor. She really wanted to dance with me. There were two other girls at her table, one hot and one not. I dance once with not and later the NB said that I was a good dancer and “scary”, lol. Maybe scary as in “so good at dancing that I’m scared to dance with him” –which sucks. Calibrates me as too high status so she disqualifies herself. Maybe also, “scary because he makes my panties fall down”. The other hottie who was less hot begged off because she said that her outfit would show her butt if she danced. Weird outfit, to be sure. It was a kind of baggy shorts that barely covered her butt and maybe she wasn’t wearing panties. I teased her that she had worn that because she wanted to be seen.

    Later I met the bf. He was drunk. I danced one more time with the hottie. She was still following very well and it was a very fun dance. Made me think about her today. Good relationship material and maybe a personal 9. But her bf was around and I was very strict about not flirting with her. She complimented me on my courtesy in asking her if there was someone whose permission I needed to ask to ask her to dance and I replied that I didn’t want to get in a fight. (She’d take this as the reason I didn’t flirt with her.) She replied that we were dancing, not having sex. I didn’t bite on that. The hottie obviously enjoyed dancing with me and saw me as high value and her beta bait was a shit test.

    I was polite to the bf and he was polite as well and said he didn’t mind me dancing with his gf. (Probably didn’t want her badgering him about being drunk.) It would have been so easy to run BF Destroyer Game on the girl based on her bf’s drunken state. She was trying to get him to take her home, I think, before he got too drunk to drive. But my frame is to avoid gaming girls who have bf’s present. Dancing is Ok.

    If the hottie ever returns to the bar without her bf, I’ll flirt with her….

  12. @Pinelero: “I told her in the wild, the new male lion taking over the pride will kill the cubs of the vanquished male. Oh… some light bulbs came on then.”

    Well played…

    Now if most men could just show this in action and not just words.
    I see too many men bow to gynocentry and the F.I. with their thirst…always trying to reassure women…too often when they’re not even fucking or, are married/in an arrangement with, them…
    There’s something I always saw…learned from a young age when my mom used to scold me, and/or try to beat me once in a while….there’s a lot that can be gained from a smirk or a smile that doesn’t really suggest humour…maybe indifference, or a power shift…then they realise they have no power/influence at all…
    I’m learning to make that look more effective…

    Ok…I’mma about to digress…done for now

  13. @kfg: On Bjorn – I was about to say the same thing that that point of view seemed like egalitarian-avoid-burden-of-performance thinking…in the end this is folly.
    I think it also reeks of underpinnings relating to negotiating desire….
    Hypergamy cannot be overstated enough, especially in our time…

  14. @Rollo

    I don’t think your point about the PR was lost on anyone. That is the reason BEHIND the mask. But, again, I doubt this reasoning is a conscious effort to actually perpetuate the feminine imperative. It’s simply a good business decision for them and they don’t care what the implications are. My point here is that, whether it’s freezing eggs or hiring women during WWII, business is looking out for itself. It has no ulterior motive or social agenda beyond its own profit. Adding a value to any decision they make, besides profitable, seems more like paranoid conspiracy theory.

    I want to mention one more thing here: You called women deficient in your last comment. In context, this MIGHT be applicable. But, in any context, this is what I’m trying to get at with my previous comment about the women-hating. “Deficient” might be short hand and relatively benign but that’s still a sweeping generalization about women as human beings. It seems more like a moral judgment of their abilities rather than an objective observation. Of course men and women are different but we don’t call ourselves (men) deficient and that’s what’s irksome to me here.

    Constantly blaming someone else for who you are (women as a whole and the feminine imperative ruining society) and calling that person “less-than” (deficient, solipsistic, etc) smacks of narcissism on a pretty high level. That’s just what it is, we’re all narcissists to some degree. But, the point here being, externalizing what is wrong with the world / focusing the locus of control outside ourselves seems dangerous. No truly successful person ever tells you that someone else did all the work for them. It’s always an inside job. The same logic would seem to apply to this dynamic of “women are just horrible, let’s protest.” If this were all about male improvement, I would think there would be more focus on being self-critical, being your own “worst” critic but in the constructive way, and what we can do to make ourselves better. Sure there is some talk about “lift and make money” (basic blanket statements) but the sheer amount of attention that’s being poured onto the “deficiencies” of women is CLEARLY not about improving men.

    1. @Yhufir, you’re arguing semantics and building straw men in the process. I’ve gone into detail about women’s solipsism in several posts. Each was analytical and observational:

      http://therationalmale.com/2015/09/02/solipsism-i/

      http://therationalmale.com/2015/09/09/solipsism-ii/

      When I use the term ‘deficient’ or ‘deficiencies’ it is always in the context of how either men or women are fitted to meet an individual challenge or task.

      And no, TRM is not solely about male improvement – it’s also about education and situational awareness, and sometimes that awareness necessitates being realistic about women’s nature and pragmatically dealing with the unflattering parts of it.

  15. @Newton The “Oneitis” you feel could be “shame”–a powerful negative emotion stemming from some childhood trauma. You feel “shame” for leaving what you were told was what you “should” be striving for.

    The transition from the Blue Pill to the Red Pill is requires a complete change of mindset. From the pages of this blog you can see we live in a feminized world where media and governments and institutions bombard men with messages that effectively demand we follow a script that puts women on a pedestal.

    When you don’t, white knights, betas jump in to accuse you of every type of wrong-doing: misogyny, womanizing, etc etc

    Yet when women sleep around, they’re simply exercising their right to explore they own sexuality: “Eat Pray Love” blah blah blah.

    It takes tremendous discipline to go for what you want and truly believe.

    In your case you opted for an all or nothing scenario. I’ve been there.

    But you have to be honest with yourself about what you want and secondly you need to accept the bitter truth about the true nature of women. There aren’t perfect snowflakes…All Women Are Like That….

    One piece of advice that I learned the hard way. Once you make a decision regarding a woman…stick to it. I caved in several times thinking “Oh well, I showed her, now she’ll behave the way I always wanted…” Nope. All Women Are Like That….

    Any sign of weakness, backsliding, second-guessing yourself is picked up and used to wrestle control, manipulate, put down.

    There’s a great quote here somewhere that the best use of energy is in finding new relationships rather than wasting time trying to recue old ones.

    Take your time but do move forward. The Red Pill realization will open your eyes to behaviours you experienced but never truly noticed or understood.

  16. @culum

    I am listening to PIMP, but he talks about opening everyone in that as well. That’s what I do ALL the time at work. And I sometime stay after my shift and keep opening everyone, lol. I just can’t mke myself game girls that I’m not into. And like I said, its mostly because girls here are the worst of the worst. I’d happily game asian/latina 5s, and some black and white 5s.

    I also can’t make myself go out very much anymore since I hate this area. Its like pulling teeth to go out since I am physiclly repulsed by most areas I visit. However, I should be going to an improv class here in the next few days. Improv I am legit interested in so its much more likely I will go through with that.

    And I lol’ed at your suggestion to just hurry up and get laid. You guys must’ve been thirsty as shit. And insecure. I’ve never understood the “burden” most guys have losing their v card. It will happen when it happens. I’m not going to do it just to do it.

    It’s like beer. Domestics are shit. Never drank them. Then found some craft beers I liked. A few aren’t my favorite by any means, but even the worst of the craft beers still taste good. If you forced me to only drink domestics though, I’d just stop drinking beer. What’s the point of drinking if you don’t enjoy it?

  17. @Newton: I know it hurts brother….that pain is what brings most of us here. It why Rollo does this work, and we are greatful to sensei every fucking day.
    So keep the pain flowing, we’re here…even if we disagree with each other sometimes 😎…
    Time…as men…being the real romantics & idealists we put energy, and most of all, time, into everything we do.
    So when we have oneitis the women we love embed themselves into our lives, our being…

    I think the best thing now to do is invest time in yourself, your hobbies, cut her off completely…it will be very hard. Especially because she probably is going to now even be more into you…
    The most important thing is to focus on you…now & in future.
    You must learn from now how to have a mindset that will enable you to secure what you want out of a woman (or women), without being attached…I’m sure Rollo will help more with this…
    This is also part of our burden of performance, as men, that I don’t think gets mentioned a lot, is learning how to love with restraint, or without giving ourselves over to delusion…as they say, with great power…
    Anyway…you’ll make it man…

    To the guys, on provider-lover issue:

    A man can be both (case in point Rollo, Blaximus, etc)…the problem is many of us in the last 30-50yrs were raised to believe in the FI equa-delusional fantasy, which is basically “leaning in”…& you know how that goes…
    As Rollo has pointed out the FI has perpetuated the “leagues” system that indoctrinates men to filter themselves out of/in to either role…
    We can do both….we…are…both. Because we are men…we hust need to accept that role, AS…MEN.
    Without compromise…

  18. @HABD and Newton – Spot on. Newton, we are here exactly for guys like you. Try this on for size: Without this pain you would not be willing to fully unplug. My hope is that you get through the process quicker than I did.

    Pain is necessary, misery is optional and self-imposed.

  19. I attend a large church (one of the largest in the country) that leans toward red pill. But then they really blow it like they did a couple weeks ago, when the lead pastor tells a story about his wife where he places her on the “she can do no wrong” pedestal, while he makes himself out to be so fallen compared to her. Am half-tempted to email him and say, “Stop positioning yourself as one-down to your wife!”

    But hey, 5-6 years ago, before I came across the manosphere, I wouldn’t have even been bothered by this. So I guess it’s a sign I’m noticing the red pill, or lack thereof more often in natural habitats.

  20. @ Newton

    The “I” was accidental, sorry lol I don’t think there’s an edit option on here so couldn’t fix it.

    To elaborate, the girl I dumped replaced me within a month. I was actually pleased with this, as I wanted it to be as painless for her as possible. However, it only reaffirmed that she was just like any other woman. I may have been the best she’d ever had, but I was still little more than a thing to be replaced.

    When I decided to hit her up again, it was initially for sex. She was good, and the other girls I had been with since just weren’t quite the same. Not sure what it was exactly. But I was fooling myself, thinking that it was “just for sex”. I quickly decided I wanted her back and so suggested we get back together. But that she had a week to decide, then it was off the table.

    In typical female fashion, she did not decline the offer, but didn’t take it either. Preferring instead to leave it open so that she may take it up later if she wanted to (which she did try to do and was furious when I declined). All the while keeping the boyfriend, and fucking me on the weekends.

    I had thought her better than this kind of behavior. AWALT of course, and I had even accepted during the relationship (I’d learned prior to dating her about the redpill and blogs such as this one) she was likely no better than any other woman. But accepting it and actually seeing it are different things.

    Basically, her willingness to cheat on her bf with me was the eye opener. Because she did this, other things big and small that I had previously not paid much mind too now seem more suspicious, know what I mean?

    I actually still don’t think poorly of her. She is a woman after all, what was I expecting? I guess I just got caught up in a sort of NAWALT fantasy. It really is hard to avoid that.

    But yeh don’t go back to her. Stick by your decision, it was the right one. I was wrong to go back to mine. The high of being back with her wore off very quickly, and I very quickly was reminded of why I left her in the first place.

  21. Yhufir February 29th, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Your description of this blog doesn’t fit my impression of The Rational Male.

    Perhaps you haven’t read much of it.

    It goes without saying that Rollo is descriptive and rarely get prescriptive (for good reason, everyone’s station and life experiences are different). The comment section is rife with promoting men’s self improvement. And men giving advice to other men on how to improve their lot in their station in life. If that is not enough for you, welcome to peruse the rest of the manosphere instead of being critical here.

    You said “But, the point here being, externalizing what is wrong with the world / focusing the locus of control outside ourselves seems dangerous. No truly successful person ever tells you that someone else did all the work for them. It’s always an inside job. The same logic would seem to apply to this dynamic of “women are just horrible, let’s protest.”

    Heh, Rollo has never done that. He is the first one to assume men self improve (or not become Betatized). He is the first to describe a bottoms up approach for men to overcome their lack of agency in inter-sexual. Too bad for you it is often sub-communicated between the paragraphs of his essays.

    You are making shit up. Which I notice women and the FI often do.

    Your argument is couched in a FI convention that men and women are the same. They aren’t. They are complementary. And proper inter-sexual relationships between men and women are polar and reach equilibrium, not an equalism.

    You said: “It seems more like a moral judgment of their abilities rather than an objective observation. Of course men and women are different but we don’t call ourselves (men) deficient and that’s what’s irksome to me here.”

    Rollo said: “When I use the term ‘deficient’ or ‘deficiencies’ it is always in the context of how either men or women are fitted to meet an individual challenge or task.

    And no, TRM is not solely about male improvement – it’s also about education and situational awareness, and sometimes that awareness necessitates being realistic about women’s nature and pragmatically dealing with the unflattering parts of it.”

    When you whine that Rollo is speaking ill of women and doesn’t speak of men’s deficiencies, you are the one merely being morally ideological.

    The red pill and game are a praxeology. Not an ideology like feminism. (…..you speak like a feminist whining about how men think of women and how men are at fault, yet want tips on how to improve as a man)

    As said by Ian Ironwood:

    “Ideologies are belief systems which hold up ideals – moral, ethical, social – as standards by which to live or guide us. Humanism, Marxism, Christianity, and the Boy Scout Law are all ideologies of various sorts. They establish lofty goals toward which we aspire, celebrating unifying beliefs that, theoretically, guide our purposes.

    Praxeologies, on the other hand, are not systems of belief, they are systems of practice. They are not concerned with whether or not something lives up to a preconceived ideal, they are concerned with whether or not something actually works. Engineering, small engine repair, computer coding, fishing, and first aid are all praxeologies. The Red Pill is a praxeology, not an ideology. “

  22. FR. My first night out after swallowing TRP in my mid 30s. I am in an LTR with a young kid and I did not do it to get laid. My main goal was to have fun, but the long term goal is to improve my internals and understanding of the human nature – which goes beyond pickup.

    —————

    I meet new people at a restaurant in a city I visit. We have fun, the vibe is good, I notice one of them is a natural/player. I push for a club night, they agree to show me places and a few of us bounce to a new location. A quick taxi ride and we are in a queue outside a club.

    I notice that the 8+ mixed set in front of us are Italians and I use this observation to open one of the girls. Nothing springs to mind after the opener, so I just return to the conversation with my new blue pill buddies. I turn back and see that two HB6s have just joined the queue behind us. I open immediately by asking if they have spare kindling to lend until Tuesday for our barbecue party. I lean in through my friends, but I correct this as soon as I spot it. No problem, I get big eyes and giggles anyway. They ask about the music type in the club as they are from city X and have never been here before. Also, where to go in the case the music is not their type. I respond that I may be going to city X depending on how the night goes. I smirk, but I don’t think they get the joke. No kino and poor laser eye contact – I still try to calibrate. I am not very attracted, I miss the window and I just go back to my friends who are impressed by my silly convos.

    In a second, I catch the eyes of one of the girls in front of us, quickly say “heeeyyy” and cut the space. She is not Italian, but she is with them. She responds well and asks me if I know what CouchSurfing is. I say “yeah, sleeping on other people’s couches”, pull her towards me with one arm around her hips, “this thing for swingers, yeah, I know”, release and let her go. She giggles and tries to correct me, but I just say “it’s ok, I don’t judge”. She’s back to me, laser eyes and emotions spiking. I tell her to behave and to introduce me to her friends. She turns to the girl I opened previously and tries to say something, but I interrupt and say “I don’t want to meet the girls, I want to talk to the boys”. They all laugh.

    Suddenly, two big dudes wedge in between our two groups and say they have been standing there. One of my buddies says to let them in which I do as I don’t need a fight. Another friend asks them for a smoke and gets one. I ask them about clubs, music, drinks etc. They turn to us and share their thoughts on that, they talk about the bouncer who is moody and other shit.

    We get in, stop by the bar, get shots and have fun talking about my approaches in the queue. I leave the group and notice the two girls from city X sitting somewhere. I ask about them about the music and the CouchSurfing (CS) girl passes by. I stop her and tell her to meet my friends. She leans in and shakes their hands, they exchange their names I don’t even know. I am a few feet away and when she returns to me, I pull her body closer to mine to say something in the loud environment. She tells me she goes back to her friends, asks me to find her and disappears in the crowd. Have I gone past A3? I don’t recognise the phases clearly yet.

    I don’t know the club and have no logistics planned, so just dance around to see how the place looks like. I get back to my new buddies, another set of shots and I say “that’s it, water for me next time”. I accuse two girls in their late 30s or early 40s who get to the bar next to us of jumping the queue and hitting on one of my friends. I’m in the mood, have fun, but don’t escalate. Although I do go behind one of them, press my body against hers, and use her hands to hit a big dude in front of us in his back several times, shouting “you jumped the queue”. Funny enough, he doesn’t react. I also ask the other girl when she was going to buy me a drink, to which she responds her friend pays tonight, so no problem. I can’t tell whether they are “maybe girls” or just look for fun/validation. How do you recognise that? By escalating and judging whether the game works? What if you still have a shitty game though? Well, I put them in the latter category due to age.

    I hit the dance floor again. It’s not a big place, so I spot the CS girl, pull her from her group and we dance. She asks me about my age, I tell her to guess. She’s happy she underestimates it only by a year. She rubs her body against mine, tits and ass. Since I don’t pull the trigger, after a few minutes she moves away back to her group. I wasn’t planning to sleep with anyone, but now I‘m thinking of a massive psyche straightening and a confidence boost if I tried to get through other phases. Just like in one of Julien’s videos where he talks about practicing up to S3 and just walking away (although in a context of getting the subcomms, habits and mentality right even with old, ugly women).

    Many of my interactions just don’t take off. I try to laser eye girls and summon them with a gesture to dance with me (Vitaly’s hand of god, no words), but my success rate with this opener is 0%. I guess my internals and body language are not there yet. Very good, I have spotted something to improve.

    I notice two girls discussing something and leaning away from each other, so I accuse one of them of being harsh and argumentative. I role-play saving the other one and pull her towards me. She giggles and asks me about my age. Like previously, I tell her to guess. She underestimates my age even more and I joke how bad she is because I am 50. She laughs and says she’s 50 too. I step back and tell her she’s too old for me. I wave goodbye as I dance away. I spot her later and use the hand of god to summon her and she follows, but I don’t consider it to be an opener. I tell her to follow me to meet my friends (BTW, I use the same method to introduce a few dudes to my buddies and we just nod to each other with respect when we see each other throughout the night), but they are gone and I can’t find them, so we just dance. It probably looks like I made them up. She doesn’t care. I leave her and approach others. I dance with her later again and again, joke about her friend making out with another dude somewhere else (funny enough, she does make out with someone like crazy later that night). She rubs her body against mine and I slowly move her towards a pillar and push her against it with my body. I am not trying to kiss her, but our chicks are touching and she panics. I can see the hamster pulling a handbrake and she runs away. Too fast for her. I am unreactive and keep dancing. I see her later sitting somewhere close to the dance floor while I lean against the bar. I summon her to stand next to me, to which she responds with a gesture to sit next to her. I fuck up and don’t do it, just repeat to come over. This is one of those moments where holding a frame for no good reason can fuck things up. Today, I know she was in C1 and needed comfort.

    Another funny fuck up goes like this. I spot a seated 2-set facing the dance floor, both cute blondes. I ask the player buddy, the only one left from the crew by this point, to wing me and take the other girl. I approach them, tell them to dance with us and pull both of them from the seats. They follow, so I just relax my hand and let hers to just touch mine as we walk. We dance, she smiles, looks into my eyes for longer and longer. Doesn’t comply yet as whenever I pull her closer and put her arms around my shoulders, she slowly takes them back. So I just reach out to a girl dancing next to us to join the fun and, guess what, my hand of god doesn’t work again. This discourages my girl and she gets her friend to dance elsewhere. I don’t follow them, my wing is like WTF but cool about it. My gut feeling is she didn’t like the player vibe and I didn’t have enough attraction at this stage to pull it off like that.

    I also have a “yes girl”. She catches my laser eyes while I dance towards her and she says “you have scary eyes”. I cut the space and whisper slowly to her ear that it is her eyes that are scary. I would have teased her differently, but it was good enough. She giggles and we dance body to body. Her bigger friend shows up and asks her about me. The yes girl introduces me “this is my friend, [made up name]” and winks to me. I say “hi, I’m [this made up name]”, to which the yes girl says surprised “really?”. The big friend doesn’t believe a word, I roll my eyes. We dance later again, I position her not to face her friend and try to pull her away, but she says she should get back and does it. A lot of rubbing and touching, smells nice. Her friend is very unhappy about what is happening and I see I am about to be cockblocked. The only thing that comes to my mind is to introduce them to my friends and use one of the girls I have opened in parallel (the plots intertwined throughout the night). The yes girl is like, “yeah, let’s go meet his friends, I really want to”, but the friend is unaffected and wants to leave. She just grabs my girl, tells her something and they disappear.

    The club is closing soon, but I am still there, just chill and lean against the bar. A girl stops next to me to order something. Too close to me to be in a random spot. I open her with “I’m drinking only water at this point, what about you?”. She confirms and tells me about this girl who was making out like crazy throughout the night (guess what, a friend of one the girls from above). I am too tired at this stage to think straight and to notice the obvious involvement in the conversation. Instead, I say “all of you are like that” and I turn my back to her. A damn uncalibrated neg? What was I thinking? She taps me to show me the finger and walks away without ordering a drink. I’m thinking now that I should have said something about being non-judgemental and doing whatever makes you happy etc. Any other ideas?

    There is also this set which I didn’t know how to game. At the end of the night, two HB9s dance with each other, no other girls left on the dance floor. The club closes in 30 minutes or so. Six-seven men dance closer and closer to the set, but do not approach. They just hope one of them will be accepted. It has the opposite effect even when they try to dance between the girls. There is a huge, beefy boxer I have met earlier that night and he fails as well. I approach him just after that and I high five him, pretend to be boxing with him and tell him I’m too big for him and would crush him. He laughs, but I miss the opportunity to joke about it with the girls not that far away from us. I find it painful to watch all the other guys strolling around them like vultures without any game, but I don’t have any girl on my hand to build social proof, jealousy plot etc. My player wing is unsuccessful as well, so I just say fuck it and go in. Too late (well past the 3 second rule), uncalibrated, without any plan. “Hey, what do you do when dudes just circulate around you in such an obvious way, but have no guts to talk to you?”. The girls look at me, say “we stay together ” and walk away. The dudes love me for that, but some of them follow the girls to the bar. I see them later buying them drinks etc. as I am leaving the club.

    —————

    I love the experience. Love what it does to your understanding of yourself and others.

    I am planning to be in London this weekend. Any suggestions for the venues over there? Anyone around willing to join?

  23. @ Newton

    “Perhaps “puke it out” would be better advice.”

    English is not my first language. Is there a joke in there?

    Not joking. That would be rude.

    Instead of keeping it all in and “sucking it up” (which you noticed no one recommended) just let it all out. Let it bleed. Another word for “puke” is vomit, or throw up. (Lol,…….sorry for the original term I used, you may have been confused by an alternative American definition: ” a person who is not pleasant or agreeable.”)

    I meant get the bad shit out.

    Feel bad, but then vomit out all the bad feelings and feel better about yourself by any means possible.

    If you read the comments in Rollo’s essay on “Detox”. Roused left this comment in what he regards as practical advice after his divorce:

    http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/15/detox/#comment-129321

    And in that essay on Detox Rollo discussed Oneitis as an addiction and how addictive behaviors like vices and drugs take over the mind and the mind needs to be re-programmed. If you have been following along here for the last three years you have probably heard these discussions of neuroplasticity of the human brain and how to overcome addictions. The book “Addiction is Not a Disease” by Marc Lewis is the basis for some of the advice Roused gave (shorter versions of his ideas can be had by just Googling his name and the terms “Addiction is not a disease”. Addiction and Oneitis are a normal process of the human brain not an abnormal or bizarre one and there are work-arounds. The trick is to have alternative Dopamine inputs that are equivalent to arguing and having sex with your former girlfriend. (Sorry, hope those words translate.)

    Perhaps you should tell us about yourself. What are you like?. What is your mission for yourself? In a vague way, tell us what is your profession.

    What do you need to work on in your own self and how you feel about yourself. You sound like a turbulent guy in the last couple years. Is that good or bad for you and your profession?

    What are your personality strengths? What are your personality weaknesses?

  24. @EON – Cosign. My ex cheated with me on the guy she left me for, lol, and the sex was some of the best we ever had. Of course I was blue pill as shit back then so I didn’t understand, I thought she still loved me. Nope, she was just optimizing her hypergamous desires.

    Rollo notes in this something crucial essay . That hypergamy places doubt in a woman’s mind about her choices of mate. Whether she chooses an alpha dog or a beta provider. As men, we fall into the trap of thinking women experience sexual desire and relationships just like we do but they do not. A woman can get over a man very quickly and good looking ones almost always have beta orbiters and Plan Bs in place. Especially if they see it coming, which they do because women have a very keen sense of emotional subcommunications.

    @Newton – My comments earlier were after a quick scan and I was in a rush so sorry. Here’s my concrete suggestion. Give her a choice. Tell her you don’t plan to settle down for 10 years or be monogamous anymore. You realize this is a change but that’s how it is for you. Be direct and honest. Once she senses you are fucking someone else, she will likely willingly become a plate of yours.

    My ex wife jumped in the sack with me about a year after separating when I met another woman who I was serious about. This was after leaving me for a man she “could do things sexually with that she couldn’t do with me” – her words. And a year later i’m blowing a load on her face and giving her multiple Os.

    You are doing the right thing. You also will not get over your Oneitis for her until you fuck other women. This is the only cure for Oneitis. You can’t think your way out of Oneitis – you fuck your way out of it.

  25. Heh, ScribblerG

    If I can amend that. And I know this might be tax Newton’s non-English as first language skills. Seems I’ve probably devolved in my ability to write concisely for non English-first guys by reading your writing.

    You are doing the right thing. You also will not get over your Oneitis Addiction for her and Detox until you fuck other women have multiple other Dopamine inputs including fucking other women. This is the only cure for Oneitis Addiction. You can’t think your way out of Oneitis any addiction – you fuck substitute other things (Dopamine inputs) for your way out of it.

    I don’t disagree with you at all. I just think it is more multi-factorial. (And that is just me. We are all not all the same. Newton should fuck other women ASAP.)

    You know how I keep re-iterating that game is fungible across all relationship types?

    I fondly recall how I beat one-itis when I had a lot of professional obligations to overcome last Spring (passing the Boards every ten years) and my own personal limitations (which I overcame by self improvement and mindset) and my wife fucking her spine and hamstring up in a Spring Break surfing accident.

    I actually had an epiphany last year and ruminated on it when you ScribblerG suggested I solve some of my relationship problems (and as we speak they are mostly solved with me having agency and desire sex) by Gaming a threesome with a young Hottie to jump in bed with my wife. I totally remember thinking how important those words were to me when I was out working on my farm and lost in contemplation. I turned it into symbolism. It really made me think and it lit a fire under me to just demonstrate and don’t explicate and I worked through it and overcame that addiction (which was a scarcity mentality). And as I told my story in the past here, I literally used nine other dopamine inputs as workarounds (and didn’t fuck any other hotties) and it worked for oneitis and it worked for your help in me not moderating my alcohol drinking.

    I agree with your advice and just changed that first paragraph above to elaborate on and reflect the underlying dynamics of neuroplasticity with more than just a “singular” substitute for “addiction” (perhaps swapping one substance of addiction for another instead of working on internals,mindset, Mental Point of Origin, and proper Game). No different than what Rollo stated in “Detox”, just updated by two years by Marc Lewis’ praxeology.

    Once again probably too wordy and non-translatable perfectly by Newton (Lol, I’m such pedantic nerd), but an attempt to advance the discussion.

  26. One of the troubling concepts we all have to face is that Hypergamy is a fixed , immutable basis of all female reproductive decisions and feelings.

    That sounds easy, but really internalizing this also means facing some staggering and troubling implications. If Most Women are Like That , and society is dedicated to the optimization of female Hypergamy, then male concepts upon which modern society was built have no social relevance. Honor, Justice & commitment become empty words carved on a government building wall, words ignored by the women and betaized men passing by them. The only law that matters is Hypergamy.

    Put another way, every LE officer and military member is basically committing their lives to defending Suzys Hypergamys right to get boned by Chad. And we all know what women think of male sacrifice.

    Another implication; there is little to no possibility of a man and a woman enjoying their company as they are without some degree of mercenary motives .
    Ultimately an aware man must regard a female with guarded attention at all times, never taking his eye off the fact that she isnt there because she likes him as a person ,but rather because of what he can do for her Hypergamy.

    Whether it’s a social construct or personal desire, many men desperately want to just have a woman who doesn’t want to use him like an appliance,but that’s not how Biology and Hypergamy works. To women we are cash machines or living sperm banks. The notion that a female should be loyal to a Beta because he’s a hard worker is akin to saying a man should only own one computer for the rest of his life because it never needed a hard drive restore.
    Far too many men are literally paying for the illusion that their attachment to a female is anything but commercial in nature .

    Accepting that fact is where many guys just pull the mental plug. It’s too enormous, too mentally taxing to compute that most every long term relationship you’ve ever had or seen or experienced or witnessed in real life has more in common with an ATM visit then it does with an amusement park ride.

    It takes time to switch the male mindset from the illusory, bankrupt “Disney Love Affair” myth to the reality that like everything else in life, you gotta pay to play and once you run out of money or sex appeal, the game ends until you add more quarters. If someone else puts in their quarters first, the arcade game doesn’t care .

    Nowadays with the social system in place mandating Hypergamy, being a true masculine man almost makes him an enemy of the feminist state.

  27. @IAS & Newton

    I can’t remember the comedian, but the line is something like:

    You’re dating for a while… Things are ok- I guess we’ll get married.
    Then you’re married and things have gone downhill and you’re thinking “damn- I’m married now… When we were dating, all I had to do was dump her”
    But then you try to “fix” things by having kids… Only a year later you’re thinking “shit! You mean all I had to do was divorce her?!?”

    If you do not have a true partner on your personal mission and you’re not happy- pull the ripcord now and don’t look back. If you soldier on (take this from one who did) the hole becomes ever-deeper of a climb.

    Newton- you are both young; she will find (probably painfully quickly) someone to meet her needs of the near future. Work to let go of the guilt- is isn’t yours to bear.

    IAS- you’re going to have to have a come-to-Jesus talk if you intend to hold your ground. I caved to that 14 years ago… I very much love my kids, but my ex would’ve been an ex about a decade earlier if it wasn’t for them. Forget $… That’s an investment of time and pain. Decide what you want and don’t back down- she will make her own decisions & you will survive either way.

    “A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he’ll leave you as a human being intact. He won’t fuck with who you are. Women are non-violent, but they will shit inside of your heart.” – Louis CK

    @scrib- I am relieved to know I’m not the oldest guy in the room
    RH

  28. @Roy Hobbs:

    I appear to be the oldest guy in the room at the moment, but I’m not the oldest guy in the house so that could change at any moment. We’ve got guys well into their 70s who comment here.

  29. @hank holiday

    A better analogy is that you want to learn to drive but you insist on driving only Ferraris. Unless you happen to be rich, you’re going to have a long wait to learn, and if you do get a lucky opportunity to drive a Ferrari, you won’t drive very well because you have no idea how to drive any car, much less a Ferrari.

    It’s great that you open and talk to everyone – you get lots of practice at the early stages of seduction (and this is the reason why you get such good reactions socially and lots of IOIs from girls – because you have so much practice that you are good at this stage of things).

    But if you want to learn what to do to take advantage of all the IOIs you get and escalate and go into seduction, that means you need to practice escalation and seduction. If you don’t practice that stage, you won’t be good at it.

    Is there anything *wrong* as such with only wanting to escalate on girls who you think are hot? No. It’s entirely up to you (unless you’re using it as a buffer).

    But if they are genuinely as thin on the ground where you live as you say, I hope you’re prepared to be pretty old by the time you get good, if you get good at all. Because there is no way you will get enough practice to be good.

  30. YaReally HABD Sentient Forge scribblerg and gang

    After a long break, I signed back in to my old sugar daddy website to check out the lie of the land (don’t worry I’m not going back to it).

    It’s changed a lot even in the last few months since I was last active (and vastly changed since the golden days of 2013/14):

    -Quality of girls unchanged – still THE place to go online for the hottest girls (for obvious reasons)

    -As I already noted, in the course of 2015 the proportion of active gold diggers wanting an allowance (vs young girls who want to date successful older men but not specifically looking for cash) shot up – it’s much rarer to find girls who don’t want money now.

    -But in the last few months (since I was last on there), I’ve noticed a DRAMATIC increase in the number of girls who say “non-sexual companionship only” or “platonic only”, but still want to be paid cold hard cash. Like these girls aren’t even hookers, but they want to be paid. You always used to see a few girls saying this, but even back in 2014 you could dismiss them as the occasional girl with delusional expectations – but now it seems like every other girl is saying this, just in the last 6 months.

    -Do they really have losers paying them cash just to have coffee with them or whatever?? (That is a rhetorical question I suppose). But what interests me is why the number of girls saying platonic-only has increased so much in just late 2015/early 2016 – could it be what YaReally was talking about, with the old 80/20 AF/BB split becoming more extreme – 90/10 or 95/5?

    -Interestingly, in the same time period I have ALSO noticed a sharp increase (same site) in the number of married chicks openly looking for someone on the side. These tend to want a guy to show them a good time but most of them don’t appear to want money – again, if my analysis is correct, this is just the flip side of the previous point – open hypergamy means the married chicks are openly looking for their AF, since they already have their BB..

    It’s interesting to see Rollo write stuff like “open hypergamy” and then see hard experiential data showing the changes actually happen in front of me. I’ve messaged literally a couple thousand or more girls off this site in the last 3 years, and viewed several thousand profiles and the above trends are very clear…and they are happening FAST.

  31. “And I tend to very much not like white girls” — hank holiday
    —————————————-

    can i have them?

  32. @Rollo

    > I recently watched a very long video by Tyler (Owen) Durden and in it he makes the point I’ve been trying to hammer home on TRM for years about internalizing Red Pill awareness and applying it in Game

    Is the video on YouTube? Could you post a link? Would like to see it muchly.

  33. Culum Struan

    But what interests me is why the number of girls saying platonic-only has increased so much in just late 2015/early 2016 – could it be what YaReally was talking about, with the old 80/20 AF/BB split becoming more extreme – 90/10 or 95/5?

    It isn’t just Alphas getting pussy without commitment saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

    We’re just talking about a different kind of milk here.

  34. @ All
    Still trying to get things into perspective here,so bear with me and some more metaphor. When fighting wildfire in rough terrain it is advisable to place a lookout in a position of max oversight view w/ clear line of sight communications capability on all fronts. This man should be experienced in all aspects of fire fighting,in top physical condition ,w/ good vision and focus also able to stay alert and communicate clearly.
    Enter Rollo Tomassi.

    Down on the fire line,we have our initial attack teams,hot shot crews, hand crews,engine crews,and mop up teams w/ sweat and smoke in their eyes. The only view these men have of the fire is immediate. The lookout raises situational awareness,to improve the chances of success in attack and survival.

    A special thanks to Razorwire for his millennial FR ,as this gave me some insight on the particular type of fire I am currently dealing with.

  35. God asked Adam, how’s it going? Adam was lonely,and God offered the perfect mate to share in all responsibilities.Adam says at what cost? God replied an arm and a leg. Adam said what can I get for a rib?

  36. @SJF – Brilliant, as usual. But I’m not quite sure the other dopamine inputs suffice to cure Oneitis, not sure it doesn’t either. But for married men who want to stay monogamous your explication is genius. I still think your wife should be open to bringing a young hottie into your bed though…

  37. @Sentient at 2:24pm

    i remember that field report… it was awesome…lol…i think that was your breakthrough…

    good luck!

  38. @Newton

    “Can you elaborate on this? I could use the reference.”

    ExGF would not stop trying to get back w me after 6 months apart. Weakend and nostalgic for “the way we were”, i relented. Laying in bed one night, i hear her phone go off around 1 am. The knots in my stomach convince me to check. It’s from a guy: “what if i said i was into a relationship?” Fuck. Well, im already looking, let’s see what else i dont want to know… Messaging w ex bf’s, conversations with one of her orbiters about how she’s into a guy she works with. Found out later she fucked a co worker days after we broke up. While she was begging me to come back, telling me i was the one she was meant to be with. The official story was she went back to an ex 2 months after we broke up. The real story: she hopped on at least three dudes in the three weeks after and kept the one most financially stable and controllable. All while telling me i was the best thing that ever happened to her and she fucked everything up lol

    Don’t go back. Ever.

  39. @Culum

    -But in the last few months (since I was last on there), I’ve noticed a DRAMATIC increase in the number of girls who say “non-sexual companionship only” or “platonic only”, but still want to be paid cold hard cash. Like these girls aren’t even hookers, but they want to be paid. You always used to see a few girls saying this, but even back in 2014 you could dismiss them as the occasional girl with delusional expectations – but now it seems like every other girl is saying this, just in the last 6 months.

    all i saw was a shit test…lol…but that’s what open hypergamy looks like infield…

    But what interests me is why the number of girls saying platonic-only has increased so much in just late 2015/early 2016 – could it be what YaReally was talking about, with the old 80/20 AF/BB split becoming more extreme – 90/10 or 95/5?

    girls talk to each other, so if it’s working they’ll use it…or they see that it might work so they try it…and they would only think it might work if the rest of their life was congruent to that idea…(and given Razorwire’s FR 2/29 at 10:58am, that’s seems to be the case…)

    and the situ probably is moving to 90/10 (given in-field reports here and my own observations)… bc there really is no downside for the girls…they either get an alpha stud who gives them tingles (wherever they find him)… or a straight up ‘provider’ (BB)…with no sexual side (AF) at all from him…

    even though that BB guy secretly probably thinks she will fall for him bc he is ‘nicer/treats her better’ than other guys…and when that guy does the ‘surprise i have a penis’ on her, she gets to shame him for ‘lying’ to her…and she STILL might be able to spin him to keep paying for stuff/giving her cash…

    (you know i really should open an armor polish store on ebay…i could specialize in ‘extra shiny’…i could retire by next week…lol)

    this whole current situ really is hypergamy without any constraints…what girl would lose her job for being a slut?…lol…even if she was caught doing it with bob from accounting in the office closet during the staff meeting?…lol… who would get fired?…not her…

    -Interestingly, in the same time period I have ALSO noticed a sharp increase (same site) in the number of married chicks openly looking for someone on the side.

    same as above…but from a different start point…but a married girl MIGHT have to throw her husband a bang once in a while…but only bc her hindbrain doesn’t have any better options at the time and still is trying to fulfill its prime directive…but that still doesn’t mean it’s ‘desire sex’…it’s ‘no other options sex’…lol…and it really does suck (no pun intended…lol) comparatively…(ask me how i know…lol)

    …and they are happening FAST.

    about as fast as a girl can change her mind…lol…

    good luck!

  40. @Culum – It is evolving rapidly and the wise man places himself “where the puck is going to be” as Wayne Gretzky said about his success as a hockey player.

    One way to see all this (after the death of Blue Pill idealism) is that men can act on their true sexual natures. Specifically wrt single guys, we can now get what we actually want. Given that the 20syo are the most attractive and the most libidinous, could we not see this as pussy lotto? Seriously – I say the chances are never better for men in a wide age range to get that sweet, young thang with no commitment. What, that’s a nightmare? Lol.

    Even if you are beta, now you know what women are doing. Perhaps the scheme for a beta is to ensure he marries a women a few points lower in SMV, with a low N and good values. At least the beta isn’t going to fall for the lane changing, wall hitting, optimizing grinder who will destroy his soul, life and then steal his family.

    All of this is happening with you are Red Pill aware or not. Me? I’m done with lamenting my past, I’ve realized that is self-defeating and completely destructive. No more ‘making lemonade of my lemons’, rather it’s about getting what I actually want.

  41. @Scribblerg
    If you are going to mention Gretzky you have to lay down his ultimate quote for PUA’s etc which no doubt @YaReally will appreciate.

    “You miss 100% of the shots you never take”

  42. @Scray – Thanks for the comment on my realtime FR yesterday. What stopped me is that the hottie was there studying with a lower smv friend. I didn’t know how to isolate and got stopped there. Also could not do kino or get closer than the next table, they were sitting next table over from me and there was no way to get close.

    As I reviewed, I realized that isolating is a real challenge for me. Cool, more to learn. This is also what a wing is for. But please, any insight on isolating and escalating would be great.

    Loved the gif – pedal to the metal. Gonna do the same thing again today, rotate out to the cafe late afternoon. Daily gaming, honing my shit.

    And while I didn’t fuck her or get a number close, I took that set much farther than I would have a week ago. I negged at the right moment, did a takeaway when I got the shit test – and it all worked exactly as promised. It’s all due to Mystery Method and having a sense of where I’m at in-set.

    It’s interesting being a “recovering natural” – my natural shit was so all over the place, miscalibrated, and really just incoherent. It’s a wonder I managed to fuck so many women when I was younger, but what I see so clearly now is how many more I could have fucked.

  43. As I already noted, in the course of 2015 the proportion of active gold diggers wanting an allowance (vs young girls who want to date successful older men but not specifically looking for cash) shot up – it’s much rarer to find girls who don’t want money now.

    That’s hardly surprising in a prolonged economic stagnation.

    But in the last few months (since I was last on there), I’ve noticed a DRAMATIC increase in the number of girls who say “non-sexual companionship only” or “platonic only”, but still want to be paid cold hard cash. Like these girls aren’t even hookers, but they want to be paid. You always used to see a few girls saying this, but even back in 2014 you could dismiss them as the occasional girl with delusional expectations – but now it seems like every other girl is saying this, just in the last 6 months.

    -Do they really have losers paying them cash just to have coffee with them or whatever??

    That has been a thing in Japan for a while, so it’s not that surprising either. The men on the lower levels of the male sexual hierarchy have become betaized to the point where such girls can actually find a market.

  44. @scribblerg

    And while I didn’t fuck her or get a number close, I took that set much farther than I would have a week ago. I negged at the right moment, did a takeaway when I got the shit test – and it all worked exactly as promised. It’s all due to Mystery Method and having a sense of where I’m at in-set.

    great job!…it’s all a process, just keep pushing it…

    It’s interesting being a “recovering natural” – my natural shit was so all over the place, miscalibrated, and really just incoherent. It’s a wonder I managed to fuck so many women when I was younger, but what I see so clearly now is how many more I could have fucked.

    that’s bc the FI used to be working FOR you…and now it’s working AGAINST you…you actually have a harder job learning this stuff than your basic level AFC…bc you have to unlearn a bunch of stuff first…but you are well on your way…props on putting in the work…

    just keep working basic MM…you’ll get there…

    good luck!

  45. @Culum et al – The phenomena has been formalized in the U.K. – it’s called “Rinsing”. There as was a TV special on it a year or two back that featured professional rinsers, women who merely date guys for presents and cash etc without any sex. It was so disgusting to watch. Here you go – Beta chodes of epic proportion on display and female behavior that we Red Pill men understand.

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgC9Z3uzPgY&w=560&h=315%5D

  46. @scribbler

    Hey I have a question. If you please. What does “wrt” mean? Also. Good to hear you are doing well.

  47. “What stopped me is that the hottie was there studying with a lower smv friend. I didn’t know how to isolate and got stopped there. ”

    endear yourself to the friend. pretend she’s higher value than the target.

    more importantly, just get the number and make plans for later. if there’s no way to iso now, then make plans for later. always always always.

    ” But please, any insight on isolating and escalating would be great.”

    The best advice is to just do it.
    I hammer this home over and over again because the other stuff, i.e. ‘the ‘right’ time to neg’ and all of that shit, is simply NOT AS IMPORTANT.

    when you feel it ACT ON IT. that’s it.
    idgaf if it’s the dumbest gayest shit ever ‘uhhhh hey you wanna fuck at my plac elololol!111’

    it’s better than not doing it.

    bounce to another venue with her….make plans, etc. etc. etc.
    ton of stuff you can do.

    the classic is to always sarge near your place, so that you can say ‘hey do you want to go back to my place?’

    you should experiment with asking this question QUICKLY. too quick.

    she’ll be flabbergasted by your boldness — whether she agrees to it or not.

    be BOLD. first and foremost.

    don’t get trapped in the ‘omg she’s loving it they’re loving it’ mental masturbation. if they’re loving it and you’re hot shit, THEN GET TO IT.

    “It’s a wonder I managed to fuck so many women when I was younger, but what I see so clearly now is how many more I could have fucked.”

    let go of the past completely.

    you should try to pretend that you’re some sort of primitive lifeform just out there trying to bust a nut. you don’t have any higher thoughts, you don’t have any ‘sophistication.’ you’re just there looking to get it in.

    @newton

    you should do that too. live the law of the jungle for awhile. be sort of a creep.

    become black philip

    you gotta get in touch with your id. stop being scared.
    they all want to hear and experience those dirty thoughts.

  48. @Eon
    “To elaborate, the girl I dumped replaced me within a month. I was actually pleased with this, as I wanted it to be as painless for her as possible. However, it only reaffirmed that she was just like any other woman. I may have been the best she’d ever had, but I was still little more than a thing to be replaced.”

    Rollo, linked this one in the recent past…

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-love-hate-relationship/

    Explains in stark terms why women are adept at branch swinging and being cold heartless bitches vs guys struggling to detox from even shitty relationships.

    I can see how men evolved for oxytocin to promote bonding to shift their mating strategy from polygyny to providership, but what happened to women? Is it an evolved ‘War Brides’ repsonse?

  49. “If this doubt ensuring requires men’s sacrifices or special dispensations in order to accommodate women’s naturalistic realities or individual deficiencies, those requirements are simply means to an end.”

    This made me think about Ageism of today. Today’s society is very Ageist in favoring younger people. From old people the ones that truly lose are Men. In traditional societies just like there is a social contract between men and women, there’s also a social contract between a young generation and the old one. The elders take raise the new generation, and they are supported and given a place of respect in society, because they’ve paid their dues.

    In a modern society like that in the States, this social contract is not very strong, and the ones that lose the most are men. Because the moment their performance and productivity decreases, their value also decreases. And that is why men’s suicidal rate peaks in their 40s-50s.

    The female equivalent would be, when a woman’s fertility decreases her status would also decrease, but we don’t see that happening. Women see no social pressure in capitalizing on her sexuality at her peak, because social contracts have been set in place to allow her to extend her pursuit in the AF side of Hypergamy.

  50. @thwak

    sure, you can take all the white girls. but you’ve got lots of competition.

    still dont understand the obsession with white girls. its like someone says “i love licking hairy man ass”. if that’s really your thing that’s okay i guess. but i can’t help but think deep down there’s something seriously wrong with you lol.

    i’m sure you feel the same way about guys like me though, lol.

    @culum

    I read more about pleasure of sex/thrill of hunt, and I think I am equally PoS and ToH.

    I am perfectly content with any 5-10 girl that is exotic, has a fun personality, and/or just looks good. At the same time, I love messing with girls and would gladly fuck up a guaranteed lay just for my self amusement. Its fairly random as to which I end up choosing at any given time.

    I am drawn to new experiences, but that experience could be a new girl or trying out a new technique.

  51. @culum

    Your point is taken, but we seem to be misunderstanding one another. You refer to waiting out for “ferraris”.

    I’m not refusing to game anything but hot chicks. She just needs to be average looking. That’s it.

    When I talk about “type”, I don’t mean “ideal woman”. Like I said, a 5 asian or latina is just fine. But for me gaming a white girl is generally a stretch. To hit on a white girl, and particularly the ones where I live, is almost like hitting on a dude. That’s how unappealing they are. To game them is 100% an act. There is no attraction whatsoever to work with. And I need a spark of arousal to be able to game her.

    I think that’s the misunderstanding. You’re thinking of type as meaning “ideal woman”. Whereas I use type to mean simply “a girl I am attracted to”.

    To go out regularly, I have to be exposed to the fact that I really hate where I live. I have no hobbbies or anything to look forward to. Thus why it is painful to go out — I honestly don’t want to, and I am constantly aware of that fact. When I go out, I only see hordes of girls that are EXACTLY what I don’t like.

    So having just a minimum level of attraction is necessary to give me a jolt to move forward. I have to have something positive to keep me going.

    At this point in my life, there really isn’t much of anything I enjoy or look forward to. So that’s why asking me to game a girl I have 0% attraction to is just too much for me right now. I need just a little bit of something positive to pull me through.

    That’s also why I was asking months ago (not sure if you read it) about seeing if there was a program you could sign up for that you could travel for free or close to free. Like a temp work abroad program. Then I go to a place like, hell, South America. Spend a couple of months actually being surrounded by girls I like, and live in an area I don’t hate — there are lots of places in South America I would love to visit. Even if I had to come back to where I am now, I would be energized and better able to game.

    As it is, I don’t have much money, so I haven’t found any program that would work for me. So I have to continue on with the drugery I have been going through for years. I haven’t given up on going out, but this is why all of this stuff is more difficult and draining than you probably realize.

  52. @Scray – Ah, i should have sexualized it and escalated from there. I did try and focus on the HB4 and the hb7 was reacting to that nicely but I didn’t hold it. Got confused.

    I am in touch with the id more than ever but I get your point. I need to sexualize this shit and escalate.

    I know you’ll yell at me more for this but I’ll share it anyway, lol. When I was out at the dance club a weeke ago with the table full of hotties, i had the impulse to just slap the table and yell, “Who here has Daddy issues?” It passed and AA intervened but I get it. Intensely pushing that vibe and wanting to fuck will get me there.

    Back to yesterday’s two-set, they were giggling a bit and I should have turned back and said, “I love the sound of girls giggling, and even better when it’s in bed”.

    Got it, i’m pussying out still. Taking it farther each time though and my subcomms are so much better. That’s why the hottie opened me, i’m just in my own skin now and cool with it. It’s funny how huge a difference that makes because it doesn’t take any conscious effort or acting any way. When I’m good with me in my head, it radiates. There is nothing else necessary. Roger Clemens (The Rocket and yeah I don’t give a fuck about him using PEDs) used to talk about “staying within himself” in order to pitch a great game and not get rattled. So interesting, and yes, I’m am just another critter scrambling around this earth trying to bust a nut…

    Thank you Sensei.

  53. @Yufhir: “I’ve been pretty frustrated with TRM and most of the manosphere recently because of this clear lack of solution.”

    The solution is not talked about much because it is going to require a wholesale social breakdown ala “The Walking Dead.” We need to subjugate the women, take away the franchise from all of them and return it to the family unit, imprison the feminists, enforce traditional CAPITAL CRIMES against women such as adultery in the same way Capital Crimes (like murder) are enforced against men, dismiss all so called ‘marital rape’ laws and presume sexual consent when you say the vows. Also, return the rules of custody being PRESUMED with the father in case of divorce. Oh, I would also severely scourge all the white knight feminist supporters and hang them up by their thumbs in town after town across the Western world.

  54. Tyler is autistic? Makes sense with some of the stuff I have seen from him, but is still pretty funny to think about it in context.

  55. @hank holiday – okay I understand now. It’s what I’d call the Boner Test – you can’t even get it up for most of the girls near you. If that is the case, then fair enough – you can’t be expected to game them to a lay but you can open them and be social (which you’re doing).

    Solution: you have to move. Doesn’t sound like you have anything tying you to your location – so I’m sure you can figure out a way. Lots of places in the country with a high Latino population..

    (And I believe there are plently of volunteer programs to go to South America although you may need to pay for some of them – for that matter, if you’ve got a bit of cash saved up, life in South America is cheap – nothing stopping you going and living there for a few months and learning Spanish).

  56. @scribblerg @kobayashi et al – I saw some of that documentary and it was just rage inducing.

    Understandable..but rage inducing.

  57. @Newton: IMHO you are an idiot if you let this 28 year old unicorn go. Is the deal you just don’t want kids? Ever? That would be a reason to release a unicorn back into the wild, I guess but you didn’t give that as the reason.

  58. @BPP: seriously? Did you miss the part that she started mercilessly shit testing him (because he is not giving her what she wants, in this case, kids which is a pretty big deal)? That is not a unicorn.

  59. Uh oh?

    looks like thoowack has been banned?

    Oh well, thats alright Rollo, its your blog… but you know you gonna hafta come with more than wordpress if I see you on the street?

  60. “Game may work but being a hunk obviates the need for it.”

    this. up to a certain point.

    My impressions from the front lines.

    Under 18: in many ways “game” does not apply here. from what I see in real life guys getting the highest quality girls are chosen by; height/physique/athleticism (none are even close to jacked) and looks. these guys, like gronk, can make beta moves all day (they do, I see it, so funny) and still score the prime poon. they can have zero personality and still score the prime poon. they are broke, have zero real world accomplishments, zero social capital and still score the prime poon.

    no balding, potbellied 30s game dude has access to these girls and even if he did they wouldn’t give him a second thought no matter how many “emotional rollercoasters” he took them on. “old” and “creepy” is how a 30s game dude making moves on these girls would be seen, if he’s lucky. most likely he’s going to jail.

    it’s like the newly fertile (and not yet on birth control hormones) are on the hunt for one thing: physically good genes (can’t be faked). high T, symmetry, coordination, dominance, competeitive spirit. these guys are, like gronk, the naturals who were always picked first and never knew any other way. nerds, alternative guys, artsy guys get nothing. it all goes to the “hunks”.

    I could write dozens of FRs and they would all say the same thing – fit athletic dude has dibs on hot little babe, she won’t even talk to anyone else. he makes mistake after mistake and still gets blowjobs and exclusive access to the vag.

    this leads me to agree with the idea that women want babies and they want them to be as healthy as possible and that in many ways the things that a man learns (social graces, game, etc) play no part in her early/primal calculations/best fertility window. she just wants good physical genetic material and a good complement to her immune system, hence her choosing one particular hunk over another.

    19-20: slutting it up away from home on birth control. naturals, athletes still do well but mistakes are not easily forgiven like before. game can and will work especially if you’re different than the guys she grew up around. she wants experiences and she’ll get them. hello emotional rollercoaster/drama/horrible decisions. great for ons. I see lots of mismatched “couples”. girls are trying all kinds of shit with all kinds of dudes. the birth control hormones are fucking with their heads. they’re “finding themselves”

    guys won’t have exclusive access as she’s a slut but still fun to be had.

    21-25: girls just want to have fun + night life access = prime game zone. what I realized today is that while we would still call them “young”, in biological terms they should already have had 5+ kids with the “naturals” they first had eyes for and by most accounts these babes have already seen their peak days. fertility is still good but their bodies don’t bounce back from pregnancy/delivery like the under 18s do.

    her counts rises into the 30s. she’s damaged beyond repair. but at least she has that very valuable degree to pursue her “career”.

    26-29: who cares

    30+: who cares

    based on the numbers, game is a guy’s best strategy. the 7+ year window (college and a few years after) it provides for pounding eager, tight and easy pussy without much investment is an excellent return on investment as game also provides benefits to a man’s life outside of fucking. plus, there are new freshman every year, so while a man’s game gets better and better there are always new hotties to play.

    most guys aren’t born like gronk. every guy can learn game and use it to whatever ends he desires. my guess is that won’t be trying to fertilize some career bitch’s frozen eggs.

  61. I haven’t banned anyone. Even Wildman is off the list now.

    Thanks for the warning! [My kingdom for a twit filter!]

  62. ” a 30s game dude . . . if he’s lucky. most likely he’s going to jail.”

    My luck ran out, she moved in with me instead.

  63. @ Rollo –

    ” Notice how there’s not a moment’s hesitation in him when he goes for the ‘insta-date’ with the reporter on the beach – it’s his first, reflexive response.

    I recently watched a very long video by Tyler (Owen) Durden and in it he makes the point I’ve been trying to hammer home on TRM for years about internalizing Red Pill awareness and applying it in Game; while it’s important to demonstrate higher value (DHV) that demonstration should stem from assuming higher value. That higher value should be an internal component from which you manifest it in your reflexive responses and manners.”

    I wish I could bottle this. Hell, I’d give away 1/2 of the bottles for free.

  64. @ yhufir –

    ” I’m not arguing that this byproduct isn’t exactly what you say it is (a way to make certain women happy about potentially optimizing hypergamy in their lives). But I have to question whether anyone would think this is, in reality, a bad thing. The hypergamy aside, it seems prudent for the company, at least, to offer incentives for women who want to work there and give them the ability to focus on their career. You appear to be offering a black or white problem: Should we outlaw women freezing their eggs? Even if that were a possibility (which it clearly isn’t), is that the solution?
    I’ve been pretty frustrated with TRM and most of the manosphere recently because of this clear lack of solution. Sure, these things MIGHT be indicative of a “societal problem.” I’m not entirely sold on some of these ideas but the majority seem cogent so, suspending disbelief for a moment, let’s just say you’re 100% right. What could anyone reading this possibly do to reverse the tide here? Protest egg freezing? Never gonna work. Attempt to enlighten women to their hypergamous nature? I believe I read here first that this not only won’t work but is generally a bad idea (I have attempted to do so in my own life in small quantities and the results ranged from hilarious to disastrous). Enlightening men or “awareness raising” is nice. But, as I see it now, this is simply rhetoric which fosters negative attitudes. Realistic and reality based negative attitudes, granted. But it seems pretty obvious to me why any “feminist”-leaning person would think that any blog which specializes in talking about the inherent defects of women would be “anti-woman.”
    I don’t think the intent here is to be anti-woman so much as pro-man. Yet, I read VERY little discussion of positive male attributes and NO discussion of negative male attributes. People much wiser than I have talked at great length about the virtues of changing yourself because that’s all you can realistically control. Other people’s defects, inherent or not, are not within your power to work on.
    It seems to me that the focus here is on women. If you could apply this much time/energy on dissecting the male part of this equation, I think I – personally – would really like to see what you come up with. I’ve read everything on this site and they seem like brush strokes about men compared to the real drilling you do on women’s nature. Obviously you don’t owe me anything. I’m just trying to put in a humble request for some more personal insight.”

    —————————————————————————————————-

    Lol. Okay man, let’s take a few swings at all of this….

    Freezing eggs is not the point, really. The point is that society is providing, or attempting to provide assurances to women. Egg freezing is only one example. Re-read the OP and have a cup of tea or coffee, and think about it a little while. Let that shit marinate.

    Re: Providing solutions – Reading TRM is not intended for you to completely reverse the tide, as you say. Reading here will educate men with regards to the things that they see and ( think that..) they know to be true and real.

    One of the crucial solutions for men is to gain understanding. In this instance, one cannot see something and shrug shoulders and say ” but so what?”. Assemble the pieces of the puzzle to gain a clear picture.

    To say that there is an air of anti-woman here is not to fully grasp what’s being discussed on a deeper, interconnected level. That speaks to FI conditioning. Discussing women’s habits and social conditioning ( men’s also ) is in no way negative, unless viewed from the feminist idea of Thou Shalt Not Criticize The Feminine..Ever.

    And to say that time is not spent here dissecting the ” male part ” is 100% incorrect. Most of what’s discussed here is exactly oriented towards the male. There appears to be a comprehension disconnect in what it is that you think you see here. The focus is not on women, but on a man trying to understand and relate, in some fashion, to women.

    If you were looking for a wife, or a date, or even a ONS, and you failed miserably on every attempt consistently, you mean to tell me that you would just shrug your shoulders and think ” nothing I can do about others “, or would you want to understand the mechanics that most females you’re dealing with utilize?

    *Pro Tip: leave the candy and flowers in the store.

    Personal insight is everywhere here. In the OP’s, all over the comment section. Clear your mind of the FI conditioning that is causing you to see what’s going on here as ” negative “.

    Buddy, this is one of the most positive spaces in the sphere.

  65. Fleezer says

    “this leads me to agree with the idea that women want babies and they
    want them to be as healthy as possible and that in many ways the things that a man learns (social graces, game, etc) play no part in her early/primal calculations/best fertility window. she just wants good physical genetic material and a good complement to her immune system, hence her choosing one particular hunk over another.”

    I will never, ever accept this idea. Ever.

    Look around you and reality will show the falseness.

    Women do want what the consider ” hawt ” at any given moment, and that idea is not as static as one may think. That’s using male rationality and attributing the same line of thinking to the female.

    They do look at the physical most of the time, lol, but they are not thinking about anything on a deep level. Ever. 90% of them. Nope, zero deep thought concerning reproduction. Immune system? Most people do not think like this, and mostly a man clogs up his head if he’s keeping these sort of thoughts in his head. Clear your mind.

    Young chicks like hawt.

    As they age, they will take other aspects of maleness into consideration, but not on a deep level, unless they happen to be biologists.

    Game her, and like *magic*, her perceptions of your ” genetic material ” will rise.

    lmfao.

  66. I haven’t banned anyone. Even Wildman is off the list now. — Rollo
    ———————————–

    Hmmm…? Thats kinda what i figured?

    So what happened to my reply to hank?

    was it the sooJ?

  67. Thwack –

    “was it the sooJ?”

    showing his ass, making every post about race… Same shit that got him banned at CH.

    Clown.

  68. “they are broke, have zero real world accomplishments, zero social capital and still score the prime poon.”

    Dynamic, passionate and authentic. Those traits will always score prime poon.

    “no balding, potbellied 30s game dude has access to these girls and even if he did they wouldn’t give him a second thought no matter how many “emotional rollercoasters” he took them on. ”

    Erm…. How many HS girls have crushes on their teachers?

  69. Blax said: ” That’s using male rationality and attributing the same line of thinking to the female.”

    I’ve come to the conclusion, despite the abundant evidence, despite Yareally’s 100k words and 500 hours of videos, despite all the FR’s, despite all the infields and even despite their OWN personal experience (that one time) – guys are just programmed not to get it. Seriously it never sinks in for the 90%, and THAT is the reason for the 10%.

    Wake up boyos! [but I know you wont]

  70. “Tyler is autistic? ” YES! and ugly, and was very poor for much of his career…

    So what’s holding you back? Just every single thing you think about men and women…. Lolz…

  71. Seen a few older, ” fatter ” guys game younger chicks.

    Anecdotal, but I witnessed all the same.

    Dude = mid 40’s car salesman. 30…40 pounds overweight. Talked like..well…a car salesman.

    Chick = 20 year old. Wealthy family. Tall and standardly gorgeous ( blue eyes, blonde, thin, blah..blah ).

    I won’t speak too ill of her because she’s now Godmother to my oldest daughter, but she was CRAZY for this guy. All of her acquaintances grilled her as to why. I had no opinion because it had nothing to do with me, and I figured that HE would break it off eventually and we all would have soaking wet shoulders from her tears.

    He broke it off. She begged. And cried.

    I laughed ( not in her presence ) because it was kinda a joke imo.

    She purchased Townhouse and new Vette, along with a closet full of short, tight skirts. Ohhhh, and telling? She cut her hair. It was to the middle of her back, and she cut that shit in a… I guess it’s called pageboy? I don’t like short hair at all, but she was still very pretty.

    The older guy fucked up her head for a long while.

    She married at 28. Wall Street Investment banker…or Hedge Fund guy. Multi millionaire. Maybe even billionaire. Nice, fun guy. According to my ex wife, he ROCKED her in bed. He used to have these really long talks with me about Tantric sex. I listened. Lol. He was 35 at the time. I loose contact now and then, but they are still married, with 2 kids. Well, they are grown now.

    What was I talking about?

  72. Btw, what do they mean “extremely graphic”?

    It probably means that it included stuff like ass-slapping, hair-pulling, mouth-fucking, calling the chick names, jizzing on parts of her body or into her mouth etc.

  73. “I’ve been pretty frustrated with TRM and most of the manosphere recently because of this clear lack of solution.”

    Solutions?

    They can’t even pass a bill to make it mandatory to nominate a father on the birth certificate which is ostensibly to identify the fathers to pay child support.

    The whole purpose of the bill is to get men on the hook for child support, sounds reasonable, right?

    Well the problem is women are up in arms about it, I wonder if alpha fucks has anything to do with it….

    http://chicagoist.com/2016/02/20/lawmakers_file_legislation_that_wou.php

  74. Currently I’m watching a shit show evolve in my social circle ( if you wanna call it that..).

    Divorce pending. Man with small penis ( ouch ) not satisfying wife. 1 child. Female friends have been aware of the situation for over a year. Decision to divorce has been made after wife has had numerous affairs. Women forming a ” Go Girl ” circle around her.

    Hubby has absolutely no clue, yet. Unbeknownst to him, at this point it is a done deal. There will be no negotiations. She. Is. Out.

    I just learned of this a few days ago. I have left repeated messages for hubby to call me. When this shit starts to go down, he is gonna feel like the loneliest man on earth.

    Truth? That small dick thing is bullshit. It’s subterfuge for a larger issue. Bitch got bored. Can’t turn a Hoe into a housewife. I keep telling these young cats that. But chicks get a kick out of hearing that kind of major insult. Makes me wanna pull out muh dick and slap them all across the forehead. Like Moe slaps Curly.

  75. “making every post about race… Same shit that got him banned at CH.” — Pissient
    ———————————————

    Are you saying the racist CH banned me for talking about race on his racist blog?

    The same racist blog where YOU, a member in good standing, continues to participate in the hate filled white supremacist pep rally?

    That blog?

    sit down and shut up before i make you eat that sheet you wearin.

    Whine cooler.

  76. @ hoellen

    ” It probably means that it included stuff like ass-slapping, hair-pulling, mouth-fucking, calling the chick names, jizzing on parts of her body or into her mouth etc.”

    Lol. that used to called ” Weekends “.

  77. @Blaximus:
    I think you need to re-read what I said. We’re not in disagreement on the first point at all. The question I’m posing is, “is this really indicative of society or is it indicative of these businesses?” Even if it were ALL businesses, they don’t have an agenda. They’re not “secretly controlled by the FI.” The logical conclusion here does not appear to be that all business is controlled by culture and therefore their business practices are aimed toward FI primacy. They fit within a culture that appears to be FI-centric but the execs are NOT making decisions which they think are “Better for women.” They’re making PURELY financial decisions which the culture has put before them. This form (yes, it’s not the freezing eggs that’s the point) HAPPENS to be eggs. But all the represents is that this was a smart business decision on their part. For financial and PR reasons (PR obviously translating into more and better opportunities/ financial relationships).
    I think year one was a good uncovering of the mask/unplugging if you will. And there’s always more to discuss and revisit in the basic concepts of awakening to these realities. But if reversing the tide, as you say, isn’t a goal then what would be the point? Obviously we, who want the truth, want something to change. Perhaps “Completely reverse the tide” is too strong. But I do believe the manosphere and TRM was intended to facilitate change.
    You’re dismissing my criticism as necessarily coming from the FI. That’s a VERY feminist thing to do lol. Discussing women’s habits and social conditioning is fine. Even with judgment, it’s not inherently bad – and don’t even try to pretend that everything said here is completely non-judgmental of women. My issue is virtually NO discussion of men’s habits and social conditioning, except the “blue-pill” or “plugged-in” or “beta-orbiter” men. And certainly never an ill-word about men’s innate anything, as if we’re perfect once we’re aware of the reality of FI and are doing things to better ourselves. The amount of time spent on women’s foibles (Let’s call it “indirect self-knowledge” because the idea here is obviously to learn how to react) versus “direct self-knowledge” like how I might act as an operator/actor rather than reactor is so out of proportion.
    Yes, everything here is “for men to better understand…blah blah blah.” But it’s all indirect. This is a weird way of using women to define ourselves.
    If I were consistently failing at something, let’s use your analogy of a mate of some kind, I wouldn’t think “It must be women that are broken.” I would look at myself and find out what could I be doing better. Anything outside of me is, effectively, not in my control. So it would be prudent to think of myself as “broken” first and do everything I can to remedy that before blaming things outside my control.
    Don’t mistake me; this is absolutely one of the least negative/ most positive spaces in the sphere. That doesn’t mean there’s not room for improvement.

  78. @SJF
    Read about 100% of this site. Bought the book when it came out (as this was about the time I came on board) and continued to keep up with the writing as it came out. I haven’t missed one and I may have skipped over a couple older readings but very few if any. Thanks for giving me a reason to qualify.

    “Too bad” lol I think this whole thing might be above your head dude. Only an idiot would think I’m arguing for equality in the sexes or anything of the sort. I know what I wrote. Rollo, and now you on his behalf (thanks for parroting him), are kind of copping out with this “we’re above reproach because we’re perfectly objective all the time. Only feminists critique us because only feminists believe they can’t be critiqued.” That’s some nonsense.
    Well they say the, more intelligent someone is, the more developed their sense of morality becomes and they often become more ideological. If I’m being “morally ideological” because I’d like talk about the positive and negative traits in myself and how to emphasis them rather than ALL the “deficiencies” of women (I say ALL because I don’t think there’s ever been any kind of praise for women here – and I think this is a key piece of info for anyone reading: There’s never been any discussion about what makes women valuable, what makes them truly worthy of a complementary relationship with men or just worthy as human beings in general) then fine. If you can’t stand reading morally ideological things, ignore me. Or keep parroting, your call.

  79. @Rollo

    I attempted not bringing high school philosophy class fallacy name-calling into this; I would have hoped you could do the same. I’m wondering if you use additional writers sometimes. If you do, that would better explain this response. I am not arguing semantics. And you’re copping out here. I thought I made it clear, I understand the context of the word being vital but it would be stupid of anyone not to read a bias in the choice of words used repeatedly and unilaterally. I think you’re a fantastic writer and really insightful. But I’m under no illusions that you’re a perfectly objective judge of women. And none of this is meant as an insult.

    I don’t have a problem with the solipsism concept as you outlined it. I found it really informative and helpful. I don’t have a problem with calling a spade a spade. You do seem to have a gift for relating these insights to other men. I’ve felt enormously enlightened by some of the stuff in the past. And, ya, a lot of it is unflattering to women. In fact, all of it seems to be unflattering to women.
    What I’m wondering is – and maybe it’s just that you don’t have the same insight into male nature – if someone were to look at us and describe the other side of the equation with this amount of depth and objectivity, what would that look like. I would ASSUME unflattering as well. But obviously we have some fantastic qualities.
    SJF got the impression that I was under the belief/assumption that men and women are equal. This is not my stance. I’m simply saying, I think women can be pretty cool too. And men can be absolutely selfish and unbalanced. Right now, everything I’ve read on this site (roughly 100%) is a quarter of the picture. Maybe three-eighths. It’s all about the negative/ “unflattering” aspects of female behavior. There’s the positive / flattering side of women too. And the unflattering and flattering side of men as well.

    Like I said before, this is more of a request to hear some thoughts you might have on ANY of those topics. If they’re simply not in your wheelhouse, ok, no big. But my whole issue with this post was that this horse is dead. I respect your mind. I wouldn’t even bother going through this abuse if I didn’t. I’m dead serious. Maybe I’m a minority of one but I still don’t think it’s insane to suggest a discourse surrounding the other three-quarters of this… whole thing.
    Thanks.

  80. “Tyler is autistic? ”

    YES! and he can pronounce “Aus-burgers” less well than Rollo can pronounce Hyper-gamey. Lol.

    That video was pretty good. Raise a toast to the brain cell re-organization that Tyler went through. Any one can do it. The brain is neuroplastic, but you have to change who you are and how your mind is working if you don’t have agency now.

    I didn’t go through much desperation and frustration in improving myself the last 35 years, but his elevation to congruence and authentic behaviors because he worked to improve his game for himself resonates with me. I’ve always done that shit. Re-organize the brain, then reorganize and repeat again.

    “higher value should be an internal component from which you manifest it in your reflexive responses and manners”

    It comes from doing it for your own self improvement and self improving because you have desire to be better.

    Some similar topics to what Tyler covers in that video including the concept of not becoming lost in the tasks and duties of Game (be a natural because you self improved).:

    A Man’s Way (Deida):

    Never Change Your Mind Just to Please a Woman

    If a woman suggests something that changes a man’s perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or “go along” with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated in-authenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.

    Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship

    Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, dis-serves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.

    Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life

    A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of un-knowing-ness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma ignorance in his relaxation into truth.

    Don’t Get Lost in Tasks and Duties

    Whatever the specifics of a man’s purpose, he must always refresh the transcendental element of his life through regular meditation and retreat. A man should never get lost in the details of his life and forget that, ultimately and in truth, life amounts to nothing other than what is the deepest truth of this present moment. Tasks don’t get a man anywhere more conscious or free than he is capable of being in this present moment.

    You have probably noticed yourself in the “do mode.” You are totally focused, intent on getting a task done. You don’t want to be disturbed. If anyone tries to interrupt you with a question, you ignore them, or give them a quick answer so you can keep on track. This “do mode” is very common among men. Whether you are trying to hear something on TV or finish a report by midnight, your attention is focused on the task at hand and you don’t want to be distracted.

    This “do mode” is one of men’s biggest strengths and weaknesses. It’s great to be able to plow through obstructions and get the job done. And it’s good to keep yourself disciplined and on purpose. But if you forget your larger purpose while pursuing the small and endless tasks of daily life, then you have reduced yourself to a machine of picayune.

    Even now, as you read this, you may be in a “do mode,” totally ensconced in the process of reading. If you were to die right now, what would be the feeling texture of your last moment? Are you feeling the infinite mystery of existence, so that your last moment would be one of awe and gratitude? Is your heart so wide open that your last moment would dissolve in perfect love? Or, are you so absorbed in some task that you would hardly notice death upon you, until the last instant, whoosh, and everything is gone?

    The test of your fullness in every moment is your capacity to die in free and loving masculine surrender strength, courage, mastery and honor (among men), knowing you’ve done everything you could do while alive to give your gift and know the truth of being. Have you loved fucked women fully? Or, do you have unexpressed feelings that would taint your last moment with regret? Do you consistently relax into the awe of immense mystery? Or, are you so absorbed in your work and projects that you no longer feel the miracle of existence, each moment emerging from and dissolving into the great unknowable? Has your task addiction built blinders that limit the vastness of your vision, even now? Tasks are important, but no amount of duties adds up to love real power, freedom, or full consciousness mindfulness. You cannot do enough, nor can you do the right things, so that you will finally feel complete. Doing is simply the nature of your bodily life. If you want the body to continue, you must eat and breathe. You must work, care for your family, and brush your teeth. But these are just the mechanics of life on earth. They never come to the absolute truth of your being.

    When you do your tasks in the right way, they liberate your life energy so that you can attend to what really matters—the investigation, realization, and embodiment of true freedom. Do you even know what this means? Have you devoted yourself to finding out the deepest truth of your own existence? If, in this very moment, your tasks are not supporting your life in this way, you must drop them or change them so that they do. Otherwise, you are wasting your life. (Edited to Add: Real Power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances. Real Power is the degree to which we control the directions of our lives.)

    Whereas many women waste precious time swirling in emotional currents and eddies, many men waste their birth seeking the completion of tasks. Nose to the grindstone, day after day, year after year, and you become a robot of duty. Rather, raise your eyes, see to the horizon, and do your tasks in the spirit of sweeping out your house on a sunny day.

    To help you remember the triviality of your daily tasks, interrupt your schedule with refreshers. These refreshers should cut to your core and strip the fat off the moment. Consider your own death. Behold an image of the most enlightened being you know. Contemplate the mystery of existence. Relax into the deepest and most profound loving of which you are capable. In your own way, remember the infinite, and then return to the task at hand. This way, you will never lose perspective and begin to think that life is a matter of tasks. You are not a drone. You are the unbounded mystery of love masculinity. Be so, without forgetting your tasks.

    If anyone doesn’t read Illimitable Man’s blog, his last essay was worth pondering in this vein also.

    Includes how to Escape The Crab Bucket & Avoid Victim Mentality, and stop whining like Yuhfir.

    http://illimitablemen.com/2016/02/28/champions-mentality-how-to-stop-being-a-loser-become-epic/

  81. It’s hard being a coder. Edited the Deida to sound less gay new-agey

    ……loving masculine surrender strength, courage mastery and honor…..

  82. “Well they say the, more intelligent someone is, the more developed their sense of morality becomes and they often become more ideological.”

    Wait. What? Who they said that?

    I think women can be pretty cool too. And men can be absolutely selfish and unbalanced.”

    No shit, Sherlock. Somethings do go without saying here. If they are assumed. Your comment is basically a non sequitur.

    I think you got some psychological projection going on Yuhfir. I’m 90% objective, but my other half is subjective. (And and very judgmental.)

  83. @ Yhufir

    I don’t think business only do that which makes financial sense. Financial sense would be not covering frozen eggs. It has nothing to do with the daily ops of the company. It is, in a liberal ( I hate that word, but it fits in the example ) leaning society that is decidedly femcentric, it is only a matter of PR. It is an example of cooperation with women’s hypergamy, at it’s roots.

    Would companies considered such a thing 20 years ago? 30?

    The FI poses these things as ” evolved “. Okay, so where’s mine? Society couches equality, but practices the exact opposite. What drives this? Hint: It ain’t money.

    If you think there is no discussion of men’s social conditioning and habits here… well damn, I don’t know what you’ve been reading and how you have been interpreting the words.

    Women are very cool. Imo, they are cool individually, no doubt at all. If ” we ” here didn’t believe that women were ” cool ” and of worth, then why all of the hand wringing on our part?

    This isn’t an MGTOW site. This isn’t even The He-man Woman Haters Club.

    http://www.pehub.com/wp-content/uploads//he-man-woman-haters.jpg

    Here, men’s conditioning IS exposed and laid bare. How can you not see this?

    I’m not quite sure what you’re getting at wrt ” And certainly never an ill-word about men’s innate anything, as if we’re perfect once we’re aware of the reality of FI and are doing things to better ourselves. The amount of time spent on women’s foibles (Let’s call it “indirect self-knowledge” because the idea here is obviously to learn how to react) versus “direct self-knowledge” like how I might act as an operator/actor rather than reactor is so out of proportion.’

    Really bro?

    You can’t make meaningful change without first having self-knowledge. That is a process that is encouraged and discussed here, and where appropriate, men wrestle and suffer with our ” innate ” stuff.

    My wife is awesome. I don’t tell her that often on purpose. Know why? It’s not what she wants. You know how I know this? A hundred women have told me that this tactic is a failing one. So if I come here and try to advise my fellow men here of what I’ve learned, am I somehow being unflattering towards women? Femcentric society tells us all to but flowers and diamonds and mop floors and just be vulnerable baby-men. It’s the opposite of what women truly care about.

    It’s not possible for men to help and correct each other by trying to be ultra positive and non-offensive. There are hard truths that are not pretty in their current context. In the proper context, they make all the sense in the world.

    Finally, if what we talk about here is unflattering ( I don’t believe in flattering chicks..), then why do we go through all of this work, and it is WORK, to try and understand women’s thought processes so that we can have relationships with them in all forms? And given the current state of our society, why would we want to go after a woman’s affection without understanding the nature, the true nature, of the very women we want to have relationships with? That’s like going Bass fishing with a crossbow.

    I’m not trying to be insulting here, but It seems you are looking at what is said here with an amazing amount of bias towards the feminine. That’s not why we’re here. Even women don’t respect large amounts of feminine bias displayed by men. We’re not feminine. We don’t have feminine ” sides “. We’ve been brainwashed. And even with all of that brainwashing, male/female relationships are in chaos. Why. Is. That?

  84. Yhufir
    The question I’m posing is, “is this really indicative of society or is it indicative of these businesses?”

    Yes.

    That’s pretty much the point of Rollo’s OP.

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