The Quick Fix

quick_fix

Becoming the Captain of My Boat dropped this comment in the This is now thread (emphasis mine):

You know, I found the RP about a year and a half ago. I’ve been working on applying things to my life, and for the most part things are going well.

Most of the articles though are about what to avoid, what to look out for, or how to think about women when you’re in your 20’s. The difficult thing is now being aware and seeing it all around you and being married.

I see the Sandberg quote, I hear it all the time from women in one form or another, and then my wife says similar shit. Like she dated the assholes, or had to find herself. Now I’m like, shit, I’m the nice guy she married. I don’t want to be that guy.
I was the asshole in college, what the fuck happened to me and how do I fix it quick? But there is no quick, once you’re in this it’s an uphill battle, a necessary one, but an uphill battle none the less.

I read the Rational Male, I’ve read a number of the books, but it get’s tricky when you’re already in it.

My wife isn’t a terrible person, and I can see firsthand how all this applies to her, but she isn’t malicious. This is subconscious shit reinforced by all their surroundings. Hell, my own betaization was subconscious shit reinforced by my surroundings.

I can say without a doubt that if your’e not already in a LTR or married and you’re younger than 30-35 don’t get in one. Read this stuff, make yourself a better man, fuck around and “find yourself” then you can get into a LTR, because it’s much harder to take control of a ship and right the course with your now demoted wife psychologically kicking and screaming than it is to captain a boat from the get go and then find a hot, willing first mate along the way when you’re already a seasoned salty captain.

He can only speak for himself of course, but Captian’s situation is not an uncommon one. Far too many men discover too late that the great relationship they swore they had with their wives was founded on their having fulfilled a Blue Pill set of achievements.

This belief is part of the plan Hypergamy had intended for him to follow, but as women’s sexual strategy has become more visible (if not outright flaunted) to him he begins to see the code in the Matrix he’s been a willing participant of. The machinations of Hypergamy are unignorable, or soon will be, but it’s one thing to be single and young enough to be able to leverage that plan to your own benefit when you still have the options and maneuverability to do so – it’s quite another to become aware of your own participation in it once you’re committed legally, emotionally and familially to going along with the plan.

For men, one of the more unfortunate consequences of Open Hypergamy is the degree of comfort their wives have in revealing the part their husbands play(ed) in their sexual strategy. As I’ve mentioned in prior posts, in a previous social order it was simply a matter of course that women should keep the mechanics of Hypergamy secret from the men they paired with in the long term.

Amongst themselves women were (and are) very open and frank about their sexual exploits both in the short term sexual and the long term provisional. I’ve always been convinced that women’s insistence on proliferating the trope of men’s “locker room talk” or ‘Humble-Bragging’ about their sexual conquests is a distraction from their own peer clutch groups congratulating themselves on the successes of their sexual strategy.

In a prior social climate keeping these ‘hen house’ Hypergamous revelations to themselves made sense. There was little point to informing the men they depended upon for parental investment and security that they were really the best available option to be their means to an end.

Not so in the present social climate. There is an eager brazenness on the part of wives to openly explain the part their husbands play(ed) in her Hypergamy. I’d attribute most of this to a social climate that encourages women to believe they have nothing to lose by doing so, but there’s also a want to participate (even if vicariously) in the single-woman peer clutch that has openly embraced revealing the ins and outs of Hypergamy publicly.

It’s a rough transition for men to have their Blue Pill idealisms dispelled by the Red Pill community, but it’s far more devastating for men steeped in Blue Pill merit badge accomplishments to have their wives openly confirm what the Red Pill aware have been trying to awaken him to for some time.

Open Hypergamy isn’t just a game for single women; it’s made its way into contemporary marriages. It’s now part of the egalitarian equalist expectation of men in marriage – that in order for men to truly be men worthy of marrying a co-equal ‘modern woman’ he must dispense with any notion of ownership of her, forgive the worst of her Hypergamous indiscretions as part of her “finding herself” and then accept his role as the Plan B, Beta provider for her in the nick of time to help her fulfill her sexual strategy in the long term. All of this coming with no expectation of any reciprocal value on a woman’s part – in fact to believe so is tantamount to marital rape.

I see the Sandberg quote, I hear it all the time from women in one form or another, and then my wife says similar shit. Like she dated the assholes, or had to find herself. Now I’m like, shit, I’m the nice guy she married. I don’t want to be that guy.

I was the asshole in college, what the fuck happened to me and how do I fix it quick? But there is no quick, once you’re in this it’s an uphill battle, a necessary one, but an uphill battle none the less.

This is the revelation men in this situation find themselves in. Even the men who may have fulfilled the role of “a great living dildo” for women in their 20s can still find that their role may have shifted to that of ‘non-threatening relationship material guy’ who she’d never have sex with on the same night she met him.

Now granted, all of this comes back to the subconscious expectation of cuckoldry women place on the men they cast in the passive, supportive role. Women don’t expect the Beta Bucks men they pair with will ever be the Alpha Fucks men their biochemistry predisposes them to want to fuck. But ‘great Dad’ must believe he was chosen as her best option, her best choice for the balance of the two. Only later, once she’s consolidated on him with family, children, financial and professional liabilities to her, is she comfortable in letting him in on how the game was really played.

As I said, the truth of that is hard enough to hear from Red Pill writers on the internet, but to have it viscerally confirmed by a wife without the social filters of an older social climate is a much harder pill to swallow than the red one.

The Fix is In

That sounds like an awful lot of gloom and doom doesn’t it? I can’t speak for Captain, but a woman delivering the confirmation that a guy is really a Blue Pill consolation prize is rarely couched in so melodramatic and sinister delivery. I’ve had many men (mostly disillusioned husbands from MMSL) relate similar stories as Captain’s and none of them were screaming confessions of deceit on the part of their wives. Most were simply matter of fact comments in passing that aligned with their suspicions about themselves.

I hate to harp on Pixar’s Inside Out cartoon, but it’s the simple everyday open Hypergamy that goes unnoticed by Blue Pill idealists. It takes a Red Pill lens to even be sensitive to it, but when you see how casually the wife/mother in this movie fantasizes about her widowed Alpha, the Alpha fantasy she couldn’t consolidate on, and how frustrated she is every time her Beta husband fails a shit test, you begin to understand the passive nature of an overt Hypergamy in women.

Women get frustrated that Blue Pill men Just Don’t Get It. The Blue Pill idealism blinds them to having the insight needed to realize the role they’re supposed to play and the frustration comes from their being over-supportive and over-engaging in order to make things right for their women. Blue Pill men will graciously ‘play equal’ in their marriages in order to live up to the equalist goal-set they were taught would pay off for them for a lifetime if left uncheck or unchallenged.

It’s my belief that wives will use a married form of open, or certainly casually overt, revelations of Hypergamy in order to rouse a man to a Red Pill awareness in the hopes that he’ll Just Get It.

And to answer the inevitable question, yes, this is a meta-scale shit test on the part of wives. However, it’s important remember that Hypergamy is rooted in existential and life-security doubt for women – “Is he really the best I can do?” – and that the shit tests associated with this vary depending on the influences of a woman’s phase of maturity as well as which part of her menstrual cycle she happens to be in.

Revealing the machinations of Hypergamy to a husband has potentially disastrous consequences, or at least it used to. As I said before, women generally don’t sprout horns and a forked tail and say “Ha ha, sucker!” when they reveal Hypergamy; it’s usually a casual inference. If a Blue Pill husband isn’t Getting It about his participation in women sexual strategy from outside means (media, social networks) then the passive or overt shit tests about his awareness of it need to be implemented.

In a previous social order making men aware of this could just as likely result in a woman being divorced or ostracized socially. Today, in men’s never ending quest to satisfy “equalism’s” approval, men are less likely to even believe their role when a woman confirms it for them. Ego-investments meets cognitive dissonance. Not only does he not get it his ego refuses to get it.

This then is the pathetic state of 80%+ of contemporary men. Men so inured by Blue Pill conditioned idealism that they’ll entertain ‘open marriages‘ in order to make themselves ‘better husbands‘ according to an emasculated equalist ideal.

Help! Quick!

So now we come to a situation like Captains – one where that husband Just Gets It only he’s gotten the message, received the awareness, from his wife (either passively or overtly) and he’s both pissed off at his state and equally wants to improve it. I expect most men would advise Cap to sack up and dump that bitch; and they’d probably be right in that assessment. She was duplicitous and then felt so self-assured in her position (reinforced by feminine primary social influences) that she was comfortable in revealing it to him. What’s he gonna do about it, right?

The right answer is to preemptively detonate the marriage. When you consider he’ll be cast in the role of villain no matter who files for divorce (he’s an asshole, or he’s the asshole who couldn’t meet her needs) why not, right? Any kids, any family discord, certainly the financial liabilities, should all be small shrift, collateral damage, when we look at this in terms of justice. It’s just revenge for her double-cross.

And yet that’s not what the vast majority of men in Cap’s situation first consider. Their first thought is “How do I fix this? I’ve lost Frame! How do I get it back fast! Help?” For all of the duplicity inherent in Hypergamy, for all of the insult that comes from a wife confirming he’s her Beta ‘sure thing’ (not the ‘hawt’ college asshole), that guy still wants to make lemonade from lemons, knowing full well she deserves piss.

That husband wants to still be all things, the mythical Good Guy balance, to his wife. There’s something in men’s romantic natures that wants this to work for themselves and in spite of women who fundamentally lack the capacity to appreciate it.

The first question I think men in this situation need to confront is whether it’s worth the effort to attempt to change their wives’ impression of them. If you’re 35 and (should be) entering your SMV peak years, this open Hypergamy revelation is particularly tough to accept since it’s likely you’ve invested 7-8 years in a woman who’s just told you what you are to her (and confirming it’s not who you are that’s of primary importance to her). As I’ve stated many times before, going from a Beta character to an Alpha (or more Alpha) one is always an uphill battle:

How many of the simpering, socially conditioned, Betatized men these women seeth about would make for believable Alphas once they had a red pill epiphany? It is precisely because of this impressionistic, binary solipsism that women will never be happy with ‘fixing’ their Beta. This is why he has to Just Get It on his own.

It is a far better proposition to impress a woman with an organic Alpha dominance – Alpha can only be a man’s dominant personality origin. There is no Beta with a side of Alpha because that side of Alpha is NEVER believable when your overall perception is one of being Beta to begin with. This is why I stress Alpha traits above all else. It’s easy, and endearing to ‘reveal’ a flash of Beta sensitivity when a woman perceives you as predominantly Alpha. If your personality is predominantly Beta, any sporadic flashes of Alpha will seem like emotional tantrums at best, character flaws at worst.

Women may love the Beta, but they only respect the Alpha.

That’s not to say a real transformation isn’t possible, but rather it’s a question of whether the juice will ever be worth the squeeze. There is no ‘quick fix’, no magical formula that will reverse Frame to your favor. Even if you won the lottery tomorrow, you’d still be a Beta with more money to your openly Hypergamous wife now. Frame establishment (not re-establishment if you never had it to begin with) takes time and active, practicable Red Pill awareness.

As I was telling Goldmund in my interview, that awareness needs to become a man’s internalized nature. He needs to become his own self-important mental point of origin; that and a Red Pill aware nature take time to develop. Anyone telling you they have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ Red Pill solution that ‘guarantees results in your marriage’ is selling you something.

I say they’re selling you something because of one simple truth – no quick fix that could make you seem more Alpha, more like the asshole college guy your wife loved to fuck back in the day will ever be believable to her if it happens overnight. On a root, hindbrain level, your Beta designation was set for your wife when she was having her Epiphany Phase. She knows and is comfortable with what she expects your nature and your character to be.

As I illustrated in Archetypes , women need consistency in behavior – they expect you to be Beta and are so comfortable in that assessment that they feel no guilt and have no fear in revealing to you the role you play for her. Thus, any radical shift in that comfort doesn’t seem genuine, and in fact it seems childish that you wont accept your designation.

So, is it worth it? I think my advice in this instance would be this:

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Once your wife has openly revealed your part in the plan, you’ve effectively broken up. Logistically that may not be the case, but I think most guys need to see this for what it is; a rejection of a husband’s authority, masculinity, his decisiveness and his capacity to read the nuances in behavior and a society that’s been (sometimes literally) screaming to him to Just Get It.

Your wife’s garbage can was dragged to the curb by your wife’s admissions, only the trash truck never comes for it because you’re committed to that can staying on the curb until you walk away from it. If you go digging through it to find what you think is valuable, prepare to get real dirty and look for a long time.

You’ve effectively been ‘friend zoned’ in your marriage. You may still have sex, you may still share special moments, but never forget, her confessions make you ‘just a friend’ in your marriage.

 


*Standard disclaimer: Yes, men should forego marriage altogether and/or stringently vet women for virginity, homemaking and childrearing. Importing wives from third world countries is duly noted. Rollo Tomassi has been married for 19 years to a magical unicorn he found after being a semi-pro rock star and lives an idyllic life of riches and extravagance. NAWALT. Your milage may vary. See dealer for details.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Aelorne
6 years ago

Thanks Rollo- yes she is my slut, and unless she’s an incredibly enthusiastic and convincing illusionist, I am the most alpha she’s been with.

I guess I really need to buy into the vid YaReally just posted, despite my reservations that it seems to let women off the hook for any compliance with their biological imperative… Seems almost to be a veiled FI apologist that encourages semi-cucking in the name of sexual equalism.

I just have to come to terms with the fact it’s my own insecurity, instead, I guess?

YaReally
6 years ago

@Rollo And to suck your dick for a second since the subject of alpha widows is going on, just wanted to say thanks for all your writing. A PUA buddy of mine just went through a devastating LTR breakup (his one-itis unicorn 180’ed on him and cut her feelings off ICE cold after like 7 years when she realized they were headed toward different goals) and a bunch of your articles on the subject came in handy to help get him through the shellshock stage and explain to him exactly what all happened and how a girl can cut her… Read more »

YaReally
6 years ago

@Aelorne “Seems almost to be a veiled FI apologist that encourages semi-cucking in the name of sexual equalism. ” lol I forgot about the part about having your chick fuck other dudes. I don’t recommend taking it THAT far, Tyler’s a bit extreme at times lol His point is more that he’s dealing with REALITY. You’re dealing with the Disney fantasy. You’re fully bought into the madonna/whore mindset and it’s causing all sorts of problems because your brain doesn’t want to accept the reality that in modern society hot girls have had sex before. This isn’t 1920 like your brain… Read more »

YaReally
6 years ago

@Rollo lol amazing, even that tweet is literally a clickbait headline “I paid a woman $75 to be the hostess at my London event. She takes my money then denounces me to the Huffington Post.” That shit is worthy of a Jezebel article. I wonder if he wrote it down before he even did the London event in some kind of super-villain “take over the world plan” notebook lol “Roosh really expects the retro-masc crowd to believe he had no idea she was a feminist blogger?” The fucked up part is they DO. No one can post on his forum… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

@Aelorne “unless she’s an incredibly enthusiastic and convincing illusionist” she is. she’s so good she’s even convincing herself. the hampster is strong. kid gloves off now> you’re too late to the party. the champagne is gone and somebody already left an upper decker in the master bathroom. you didn’t mention her age because you know she’s too old. she can’t bond to you unless you’re the one shaping her. she is a finished product you had nothing to do with creating. you will never own her. this is why I think game is so important for very young men. junior… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

Well shit– see I feel what fleezer is saying is somewhat at odds with what Rollo, YaReally, and others have said. But I feel like what Fleezer is saying really rings true….

That my indignation isn’t a cognitive dissonance caused by Disney programming conflicting with reality… that there is an elemental and rational truth to it a devaluing of a girl outside of alpha widowing and future infidelity concerns. Fuck.

She is 25, btw.

YaReally
6 years ago

@Rollo
“Honestly I think he believes he can turn himself into a neo-masc pundit and do the conservative talk shows and Fox News thing to turn a buck.”

pffft, small potatoes…I say ride this train right into space! Footage from a RooshV lecture in 2025:

http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/preacher-knocking-over-everyone-groups-falling-over-neo-neo-preacher-1418504238F.gif?id=70

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
6 years ago

I see I can’t edit so I’ll rephrase for simplicity: When you discard the worry of future infidelity, what do you have left to worry about/be resentful of, when considering a girl’s past? Assume I have alpha frame, and that she’s not an alpha widow, but has a really slutty past. Is there anything with a rationally sound foundation that would queue indignation, or necessitate a NEXT? Can you hear yourself here? Obviously this is not kosher for you. It isn’t, as is made obvious by your many posts about it. For whatever reason (and, honestly, you don’t need to… Read more »

Tom...
Tom...
6 years ago

If I were roosh, I would learn coding and/or copywriting ASAP. There is only so much layguide demand from an already saturated market. Too much game info is available for free.
He could run bootcamps but sending hordes of noob daygamers to Eastern Europe can destroy a once prime pick up spot. Maybe he can sign on as an instructor with RSD.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@Aelorne It’s all correct, including fleezer. There is a lot of Disney conditioning to the Blue Pill view, and that’s what makes you feel upset about her. The older they get though, the more you have to accept that in all likelihood if she’s attractive in the least, somebody else has been there and done that. Well, I might add. She’s a human, she wants to fuck. We’re all programmed to fuck. She ain’t been waiting for you, that’s the Blue Pill Disney myth of “The One”. She’s been fucking Chad Thundercock and crying when she can’t get a commitment… Read more »

YaReally
6 years ago

@Aelorne “That my indignation isn’t a cognitive dissonance caused by Disney programming conflicting with reality… that there is an elemental and rational truth to it a devaluing of a girl outside of alpha widowing and future infidelity concerns. Fuck.” It’s not an either/or situation lol The points we’re all making all hold up and work together: She’s taken a lot of cock so its harder for her to bond with you…but the reality is girls these days are ALL taking a lot of cock. THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T FUCKING MARRY THEM and legally tie half your shit to them lol… Read more »

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
6 years ago

Part of why it sucks to you is that you want this chick long-term (Disney shit) but know that what Fleezer is saying about them having trouble bonding is true, so you can’t make the two work together…you have to either ditch her and find a chick who’s a virgin (rare these days), or keep her and give up your long-term dreams with her and accept that she might bail at any point because of her history. Pick one or the other. Right — this I agree with. I was writing from the perspective that he was evaluating an LTR,… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@Rollo

I sincerely doubt you’d watch a video of Renee Sommerfield and say, “fuck, there’s no way I’m settling for any girl less than that caliber.”

When acceptably cute women are incredibly scarce and all taken when you see them, you suddenly feel like you’ve said exactly that.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“That my indignation isn’t a cognitive dissonance caused by Disney programming conflicting with reality… ”

Why are you fretting over some born again virgin?

“… that there is an elemental and rational truth to it a devaluing of a girl outside of alpha widowing and future infidelity concerns.”

And why does it take the form of worrying that the pedestal will get knocked out from under her?

YaReally
6 years ago

@Novaseeker @Aelorne “Right — this I agree with. I was writing from the perspective that he was evaluating an LTR, so that was the context in which I responded, because that’s what he said he was evaluating. As a plate… no issue, obviously.” Yup and the thing is I’m not saying she CAN’T be with him long-term. It COULD work out just fine…but 1) expecting or banking on it is fucking insane, and 2) DON’T GET MARRIED. Marriage literally neuters your ability to walk out on her if she DOES lose attraction for you or test you too much and… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

http://www.aston-martin.com/files/2013/02/bmw-ad.jpg

It’s a production used car, you enjoy the ride while it’s good and then you trade it in. You don’t devote your life to it.

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

@Aelorne *this is fiction for entertainment only. nothing in this or any post is true* “She is 25, btw.” already past her prime. but you know that. probably a decade plus of sexual activity without you. her youth and best sex are gone and are not coming back. there is plenty written on investing in abundant and depreciating commodities. yareally isn’t married. his stuff might be good for you though. he and rsd tyler were also late to the party and never experienced very young virgin pussy when young. they adapted to the world as they found it and thrived.… Read more »

HowlingManTodd
HowlingManTodd
6 years ago
Lucien
Lucien
6 years ago

“A fully trained woman can’t be bought. She has to be made. She would say we’re soulmates. I would call her my property. Historically the law would confirm my view of the relationship.” Only truth spoken . . . Sounds fantastical, and I would think it was too if I hadn’t been with a girl like that (only one). Now I worry that she was a unicorn — that there aren’t others like her out there. Being honest, I didn’t do much to train her — she was especially rare because she came fully trained. In fact she taught me… Read more »

Lucien
Lucien
6 years ago

Regrettably, fleezer seems to be merely a freelance porn writer advertising his wares. Still, the basic point is accurate — you can and do have to act to mold a woman to your expectations.

ChocDoc
ChocDoc
6 years ago

@ Fleezer: ” ….you’re too late to the party. the champagne is gone and somebody already left an upper decker in the master bathroom. you didn’t mention her age because you know she’s too old. she can’t bond to you unless you’re the one shaping her. she is a finished product you had nothing to do with creating. you will never own her. this is why I think game is so important for very young men. junior high school guys just starting out. men can have sex for 60+ years, but soul capture is only possible for a very short… Read more »

ChocDoc
ChocDoc
6 years ago

@ Aelorne

There are so many harsh trues, a man really needs to know and to understand. The younger the man is, the better for him.

The battle-tested veterans in here have told you everything you need.

But if you are honest to yourself…..deep inside you already knew it.

I would like to put emphasis on two things:

1) Always listen to your gut

2) Never Marry !! Enjoy yourself with that girl and when the time has come….say bye bye sweety!

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

ChocDoc – “1) Always listen to your gut”

I can attest not listening to my gut has never generated good results. When I finally did listen I was spared from much worse consequences.

YaReally
6 years ago

@Rollo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxtNXDAlDRM

Bet you didn’t see THIS coming lol

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-49574.html

“THIS is the fight. This is my Alamo. Either I win in Canada or I get sacrificed for the cause I believe in.”

http://33.media.tumblr.com/d67d8231dc52293b8f37c91c716a7eb0/tumblr_inline_nhvgwjySL61s07lyd.gif

Vitriol
Vitriol
6 years ago

@Rollo “And you guys wondered if I was being serious about my disclaimer…heh.” You clearly stated that you got married 19 years ago. So for the sake of simplicity, let’s look at how the world was 20 years ago in 1995. Most people only have ground line telephones, and things like pagers and cellphones are basically novelty items that not too many people have. Internet access was very primitive. Unless you were a serious computer nerd, you probably weren’t taking several minutes to download a grainy image on your 14.4 modem through AOL or Compuserve. Cable television only had a… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

I think, with all of your help, I’ve finally drilled down to the root of my resentment, which as I see it now, is probably incurable. I’ll describe the elements below, but Rollo- I think I may have landed on another dynamic at play which you might be interested in. Please see the second paragraph. 1. I am late to the(her) party. Anyone late to a party wants to hear “oh yeah, you haven’t missed much.” They don’t want to see everyone passed out, naked, expired, used up, and completely sated from the most incredible time of their lives, which… Read more »

Jeremy
6 years ago

@Aelorne

I am late to the(her) party…

It’s slightly worse than that. The party was going on, everyone was having a great time. You weren’t invited. Then after the girls had had their fill, and the crazy fun is tapering off, Your woman invites you over to clean up and turn it into a quiet and respectable wine tasting gathering, while promising you that nothing fun or crazy happened before you were there. She refuses to indulge in any keg stands, or naked runs, or drinking contests, pretending she never did, nor would ever do such things.

YaReally
6 years ago

@Aelorne Easy solution: Dump her, then the next girl you date tell her “ya I dumped my ex because I found out she was a raging slut before she met me, it was disgusting.” That girl will know you’ve got unrealistic expectations for her purity level and to avoid your judgement she’ll lie to you extremely convincingly about how she’s only had one or two partners or whatever number she thinks you think is acceptable, and will say the sex with them was terrible and nothing compared to your thundercock, even if she has to dream about the two guys… Read more »

thedeti
6 years ago

I came in on the back end of a really good thread. Ted D, it’s good to see you again. And Ted D is right. Married men, the only way to conduct a marriage now is to be willing to lose it. The only way now to be in a successful marriage is to be willing to walk away from it and ready to leave at any time. Because rest assured: she already is. She already is ready to bug out if things go south. She already has thought about what will happen to her if “something happens to my… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

I’m thinking that fleezer’s right. Younger women are the only way to go. It really hits home when you realize that by 25 most women have had over a decade of sexual experiences without you. Their SMV is going downhill at that age and will never come back, and you’ll never experience the best of what she had to offer. Next. When I really got that, it bothered me. It’s like a personal insult. I don’t take insults well. A girl a few years back humiliated me because she knew I was into her. It’s a long story. So anyway,… Read more »

thedeti
6 years ago

I know the above because I used to engage a female blogger around these parts. She once rather ceremoniously announced on her blog that if her husband of three decades ever cheated on her, she would proceed to hire the most vicious barracuda she could find and take her husband to the cleaners.

bnon
bnon
6 years ago

Aelorne: Why are you convinced you will never come close to her past experiences? Why can risk driven actions not be repeated? “2-never WOULD engage in, if given the chance.” WHAT do you speak about here? What do you mean by “she had a LOT that I never got to experience from the male side”? What do you envy here, exactly? What are the parties you think you cannot relive?

Jeremy
6 years ago

@Softek

I’m not showing up. I lied about where I live now too.

If you’re going to punk people… tell me you sent her to the gate of a mansion that you don’t live in.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

@ Aelorne What you describe above is why Rollo has his level of comfort with his wife. Rollo got his before her met her, therefore he doesn’t need to get it from her. If you in anyway expect for any woman to be both a long term pair bonded match and also help you make for lost time/experience you’re doomed. Women don’t build men they consume finished men. You have to arrive pre-built, and ready to run. That means you have to be your own point of mental origin and focus, otherwise you’re conceding to her frame as more experienced… Read more »

Bromeo
Bromeo
6 years ago

@softek

“She’s flying out to see me tomorrow. And guess what? I’m not showing up. I lied about where I live now too.”

Not gonna lie, that is pretty beta…You think an alpha would waste time pranking some girl that lives in another city that buthurt him in the past or be busy smashing plates and not giving a fk?

Aelorne
6 years ago

@bnon: I have reason to believe she set herself up to be rufied, or at least gave it so little attention that it happened many times and she didn’t care. Many, many times. And afterward, she would engage in whatever, with however many guys, knowing what had happened the night before– not knowing any of the guys, or the place she was at, or where her clothes were. Often times, she would willingly initiate things herself. As in, seek out the rapist in the house, lie in his bed and ask for him to do it again. I know details… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

@Rollo: Thanks, yes i have. The difference is our sex life is effing fantastic. I couldn’t ask for more. She holds nothing back. I’m only dealing with the knowledge of her past- that’s the only issue.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

Aelorne – “Would anyone here date Jenna Jameson long term?”

In 2015? Not even with your dick and access to her bank account.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

“She loved doing those things then, but now she’s over it – she’s matured.”

She’s finished, spent, past her sell buy date, spoiled, tainted, used, useless.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

“The trick…”

…and knowing that is the key to a good run as the betafux. Dangle the carrot of commitment, let her smell it and occasionally touch it, never actually give it to her.

Aelorne
6 years ago

I still feel there is a distinction worth noting in my situation: she actually is 25 and she actually is completely sexually uninhibited with me- so the only issue is my inability to get over her past. My issue is an acutely narrow one: the nature of her past itself bothers me. I get the wild sex I want, and I’m not her beta provider. A lot of these insights you guys are offering are great, but are predicated on the fact that something is askew: I don’t have frame, I am the beta she’s consolidating hypergamy with, or I… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

” pre-built and ready for his shot at her now self-limited and self-conscious sexuality.” … This gives me some hope being the age I am now. As I get older, it should actually be EASIER for me to get younger women if I improve my pickup skills and build myself up. One night stands and hookups. There’s still time for me, which I realize now that I’ve abandoned ship with the Blue Pill. I’m not married, and I’m never going to have a girlfriend in my life either. Ships scraping hulls in the middle of the night is the name… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“—it significantly tarnishes her image to me.”

That image has never existed anywhere but in your own mind. Polish your mind.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

Aelorne – “My issue is an acutely narrow one: the nature of her past itself bothers me.”

That’s her fuck phantoms in your head. YOUR HEAD. The particulars of your relationships with are not relevant. The fuck phantoms are relevant but only because you care. That’s the bluepill at work, the toxins run deep.

Shiva H. P.
Shiva H. P.
6 years ago

“Just going to leave her there and never say a word to her again. I don’t care what happens to her but I’m pretty sure it’ll ruin her day at least a little bit. I’m just going to set aside a half an hour or so to have a drink and a couple cigarettes while imagining how pissed off or confused she’s going to be and then get back to the projects I’ve been working on.” 1. you do care, what happens to her. How would your day be, if she sends you a thank you note for standing her… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Aelorne I simplify it by looking at things in terms of LTRs or hookups. The sexual history thing only matters if you want to get serious with a girl. Which is almost unanimously agreed upon here to be a poor life decision. “… then I guess no one should ever get into a relationship with ANY girl…” Bingo. Haha. In reality, the moment you commit to any girl, you’re giving up some frame. Personally, I wouldn’t worry about it. I would look for other girls to fuck to dwindle down your fixation on this 25 year old you’re banging… Read more »

Shiva H. P.
Shiva H. P.
6 years ago

” I want that rule set.”
Dude, you need a mindset not a rule set.

Aelorne
6 years ago

@kfg: Thanks- you are right.

But surely standards still exist? As you said, you wouldn’t date Jenna Jameson.

Perhaps you are mistaking my intent to evaluate her as an LTR prospect (and her failing to meet that standard) as her falling off of some pedestal I placed her on.

I don’t think her failing to meet a standard is evidence of pedestalization. If it is, and I dispense with it, then all comers are LTR material.

Or perhaps you are saying that no girl meets the threshold for an LTR. That would be a depressing prospect to me.

Jeremy
6 years ago

@Shiva H. P.

Tangential case of a man trying to swallow red pill to play out his beta fantasies. In your case, instead of trying to win her back you want revenge. Revenge on your (ex)onenitis is also a beta fantasy.

Yours and the other post in response to Softek are nutritiously harsh. I’m not sure I agree it is a “Beta” fantasy specifically. However, it is certainly a “clinging” to the old set of books and desiring to enact justice based on them.

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Aelorne “Or perhaps you are saying that no girl meets the threshold for an LTR. That would be a depressing prospect to me.” That’s my take on it. Once you accept it as reality, it isn’t as depressing as you’d think. How depressing it is to you is in direct proportion to how much of the Blue Pill you’re still invested in. I know plenty of guys who have been in LTRs for years and seem to be doing fine. A couple of my friends are married with kids and are doing very well. The only problem is they’re… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@YaReally

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/534/651/1be.jpg

Could Roosh LARP speech any harder?

Is This Thing On?
Is This Thing On?
6 years ago

@Aelorne I think I get what you are saying. I once had a girl tell me she couldn’t be out-kinked. At first I thought, “sweet!”. Then I reflected on all the shit I’ve seen done in porn, and thought, “Gross”. We all want a whore in the bedroom that does what we want. I take from what you are writing is that this girl does all that and more. It’s the “and more” part that is bugging you. I’m getting that if you asked her to do those same things with you, she would still be up for it. You… Read more »

Jeremy
6 years ago

Even if Aelorne’s girl will do everything with him… she still did those things with other guys when she was younger and closer to her SMV peak. If it were me, I would not be able to get over the thoughts in my head of missing out on having the same girl I like, that much younger, doing all of that with me. I wouldn’t be able to get over it, it would nag like a song stuck in my head for years.

Jeremy
6 years ago

Roosh acting like AVfM? That perhaps explains why he rejected my post attacking Paul’s poor debate skills way back when…

Is This Thing On?
Is This Thing On?
6 years ago

@Jeremy

I agree with you. It’s just a question of this girls motivation. Is she trying to nail down her beta provider, or is she still on the CC? At that age, it could be either. In any case, marriage is a mistake. If she’s still on the CC, then he should just enjoy the ride. If she is trying to lock him down, then next is the only answer.

ChocDoc
ChocDoc
6 years ago

@ Aelorne:

“.. Or perhaps you are saying that no girl meets the threshold for an LTR. That would be a depressing prospect to me. ”

Welcome to the Red Pill World, Dude !!!

teddj4g
teddj4g
6 years ago

Aelorne – you can LTR this girl up if you want. Just known what you are getting into. If she fucks you like a beast, and generally adds to your overall life satisfaction keep her around. Just watch for trouble, and be ready to eject post haste. Stop stressing on her past. As long as you get what those dudes got, there is no price discrimination going on. The real bitch is when a woman pulls the “I used to do threesomes but you’re too special for that” and then you should immediately next. No questions asked, no fucks given.… Read more »

Jeremy
6 years ago

I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Roosh attempts to latch on to another gravy train. AVfM, as small and inconsequential as it may be on the world stage, does actually stand to serve as a platform for a donation-based-income. It’s the same pattern all movements take, Greenpeace being the classic example… try to “do good” by appearing to be a victim of a social injustice (or the appearance of a social evil), solicit donations and attention by either putting yourself at risk, or pretending to put yourself at risk… reap profit. Once you’ve got major donors, idealism and… Read more »

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
6 years ago
Reply to  Jeremy

One thing I’ve learned About myself and the red pill. It hurts like a punch to the gut while thinking life works one way and it turns out it doesn’t. At social gatherings mostly dances the redpill calms me down around women. I wasn’t allowed that peace growning up. I had an abusive family who riped males apart like surgery and than walked away for a beer forgetting I was being mentally operated on as a “joke” to start with. I read a lot. About a book a week. But nothing explains the world as it is like this site.… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“I don’t think her failing to meet a standard is evidence of pedestalization.” It isn’t, at least not innately. It’s your hamster coming here and writing a neurotic novel about it and asking for an engineering manual on how to set those standards that is. It’s also a bit out there on the autistic spectrum. There are no torque specs for human behaviour. You have to learn how to let out a clutch by trial and error until you Just Get It. “Or perhaps you are saying that no girl meets the threshold for an LTR.” Not as an investment… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

@Jeremy and @Is This Thing On? Yes, exactly. I have full access to it, but I still resent her for it. Partly because I never experienced it, partly because she was younger. Plus, there are some things that are circumstantially impossible to recreate and experience with her- some things I wouldn’t even want to (read: her beyond-50-shades rufie and post-rufie sex experiences). I just don’t get how swallowing the red pill is synonymous with the dissolution of any and all standards regarding relationships with women- so that Jenna Jameson is as desirable as the next, because women should occupy no… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Jeremy I’m reconsidering now. I have until tomorrow. My gut instinct is telling me to just go fuck her. I can figure something out. Get over myself and let go of whatever happened before and just have a good time and then end it after that, or make her a potential fuck buddy. I guess there’s no harm in having more women available to fuck. I did put in the work of gaming her, after all. And that isn’t done yet. Good chance to practice my new skills and seal the deal. Anger is one of my biggest issues,… Read more »

Jeremy
6 years ago

Swallowing the red pill doesn’t mean abandoning standards, but it does require that you recognize the consequences of trying to hold standards in a world where women have full control over who gets access to sex and your standards hold no weight in the process. You may not like the fact that you missed out on your girls younger days, I wouldn’t. If you want to keep your standards and marry a virgin, there’s no one telling you not to. However, decisions have consequences. Standards will weed out people by design. This is why Rollo recommends to just spin plates,… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

“she still did those things with other guys when she was younger and closer to her SMV peak” bingo. peak is the thing. the bewildering beauty of peak is that you don’t know it’s happening until it’s over. this is applicable in all human endeavors, from financial and commodoties markets to things like mathematical and musical genius. a woman’s sexual attractiveness might acutally be the best example though. we’ve all experienced it. school’s out for summer. you don’t see a girl for two months and then she comes back and BAM. out of nowhere she is pure sexual fire. will… Read more »

Gunnar von Cowtown
Gunnar von Cowtown
6 years ago

“That sounds like an awful lot of gloom and doom doesn’t it?”
Yeah, but that’s just your writing style. Very talented and sincere, yet kinda depressing.

You’re the Morrissey of red pill.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” . . . all girls are equally worthless . . .” Rephrase that as all girls are hypergamous. A statement of fact, not a value judgement. “I just don’t get how swallowing the red pill is synonymous with the dissolution of any and all standards regarding relationships with women . . . ” It isn’t. It’s a calibrating of the those standards to reality. The Red Pill is not a course of action, it’s simply knowledge. The knowledge you need to construct an effective strategy for navigating life. There is no perfect strategy, only a collection of various more… Read more »

Jeremy
6 years ago

@fleezer How good is your memory, and what is your favorite fruit? Can you remember the texture, flavor, smell, and color of the best sample you ever had of your favorite fruit? I’ll bet you can, or at the very least you can remember how much you liked it enough that you’ll keep going back to the same fruit stand hoping to remember that same flavor. Now, what if every fruit stand in the world decided that the customer had no say in the condition of the fruit offered, and they all decided to eat and/or give away the best… Read more »

key
key
6 years ago

Aelorne: being haunted by anything you missed in your youth is a dead end sex, romance, parties, concerts, drugs – it’s all transitory this hang up is like fretting about what you could have had for breakfast. hell, man, you’re young and allowing yourself to be haunted by the ghost of breakfast past like you’re on your deathbed if you want to have breakfast, go fucking have it no, it won’t be the “exact same breakfast I could have had earlier if only…” but it’s still the same items and you’ll still shit it out tomorrow as if it never… Read more »

Bromeo
Bromeo
6 years ago

@softek

“or make her a potential fuck buddy. I guess there’s no harm in having more women available to fuck.”

There we go, your gut is telling you to go alpha

Aelorne
6 years ago

@kfg I appreciate your keen insights and really am not trying to go in circles. I can understand (or adjust my standards to) a certain level of youthful indiscretion because of biological drive and lifelong sociocultural conditioning. A college-career-spanning headlong dive into unmitigated hedonism with wild abandon is harder to abide in a relationship- this seems to be an extra-hypergamic phenomenom, which lowers a girl’s desirability below that of her (also hypergamous) peers. And it’s nothing to do with the fact the girl might cheat. I know AWALT. I don’t see the reality of hypergamy as a great equalizer or… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

@Jeremy That was epic.

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

Evidently I must by extremely dense. I can’t for the life of me grasp all of the agonizing over a chicks prior sexual partners and/or acts committed with said lovers. Really fellas? Really???? Look, there is no special pussy out there made of sunshine and rainbows. Period. I find that thought offensive and revolting. You know what makes pussy special, to you? Your thoughts. TAAA-DAAA!!!!! That’s it. If your banging some chick, having fun, and it’s all good, why the fuck would anyone crawl back into their heads afterwards and disgust themselves with some crazy assed inner dialog concerning a… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

So Rollo, if a chick is honest with you and has no sexual reservations, no amount of sexual history would be too much for you?

If so, (assuming you are a rational “true north”) perhaps the philosophical justification for my indignation (based solely on my girl’s sexual past) doesn’t exist.

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

” So Rollo, if a chick is honest with you and has no sexual reservations, no amount of sexual history would be too much for you? ”

No. Never too much.

Jeremy
6 years ago

@Blaximus

Look, there is no special pussy out there made of sunshine and rainbows. Period. I find that thought offensive and revolting….

Personally I can’t see myself calling a 65-year-old for a booty call, but I guess to each his own.

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@Jeremy

” Personally I can’t see myself calling a 65-year-old for a booty call, but I guess to each his own. ”

Lulz..

I can’t see myself calling a 65 yo for a booty call either. But.. If I changed my mind and decided I wanted some 65 yo ass, I would never agonize over it. I’m allergic to agony.

I gave up hemming myself in to such a degree 40 years ago. I do what I want to, within reason.

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

“it’s all transitory” yes. but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. or that all things and experiences are somehow the same because they don’t last. i guess in the end they are all meaningless as no one will remember anything, but does that mean we should all just accept mediocrity while we’re here? “Can you remember the texture, flavor, smell, and color of the best sample you ever had of your favorite fruit?” yes. a spine-tingling moment that changed my view of the world forever. women are a mystifying and essential aspect of the sensual human experience, but they are… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

Perhaps I am waiting in vain for some grand unifying theory of morality in hypergamous context- an overarching explanation of how a girl’s past sluttiness has the potential to cast a shadow on an otherwise optimal LTR scenario.

For the 5 or 6 reasons I laid out before, I find it does indeed cast a shadow on things- keeps me from fully appreciating her, indeed at times resenting her. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I’m being ridiculous.

Excalibur
Excalibur
6 years ago

“You can get sex without marriage. It’s absolutely not romance.” Men are the true romantics, actually it’s more like a tragic affliction for men. Men do fall in love with women, indeed very deeply. Men love everything about a woman, her look, the way she talks, smells, her presence, the way he feels when he holds her. And women? Women don’t have a romantic bone in their body. Romantic love is quite different for women. Romance for women is the notion of capturing a man that they desire, who will love HER and take care of HER needs. The man… Read more »

Jeremy
6 years ago

I remember being repulsed by Titanic and having women look at me like I was from Mars. lol, those whacky women. I’ll bet if there were a similar movie where a horse drowned to save a woman they would cry for the death of the horse.

Jeremy
6 years ago

@Blaximus

But.. If I changed my mind and decided I wanted some 65 yo ass, I would never agonize over it. I’m allergic to agony.

That’s a fine attitude, except the data says that men regardless of age prefer the same age woman. So actually, yes, there is a “magic” age of the woman which I would argue all men should experience at least once in life. I agree there is no “magic” woman to get hung up on, but the data is clear that men get hung up on women between the ages of 18-20.

bnon
bnon
6 years ago

@Aelorne: You fucked yourself in the head enough, I’d say the one true way you should go is just not make her a LTR, keep her as long as she puts out and if that ends, then friendly cut your romantic affair and pass on.

Is This Thing On?
Is This Thing On?
6 years ago
Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@Jeremy,

In my personal life I disregard data that doesn’t have to do with death rates.

I don’t begrudge young men getting hung up on certain types/age women, but I expect them to wise up, grow out of it, and LIVE.

Aelorne
6 years ago

Thanks for all your advice Rollo. You are a greater man than I. Perhaps, as someone said earlier, I am attempting to use her to live out all my fantasies I’ve missed out on heretofore- and that’s simply something she can’t help me do, so I resent her for it, and for having experienced those things while I haven’t. I also need to disassociate morality from sex. Maybe I’m still wrapped up in a psuedo-religious moral framework. Her past sexual decisions seem to have moral underpinnings in my mind, and I don’t know why. I think I liken it to… Read more »

keyser Soze
keyser Soze
6 years ago

“At my age, if I were single again, my concern wouldn’t be sexual history, it would be Alpha history and how I fit into it. And since I wouldn’t be looking for anything long term, I’m not sure I’d give that all that much thought.”

I hope men here are able to comprehend what you just wrote.

Ps
I had to change my name.

teddj4g
teddj4g
6 years ago

Aelorne – the problem in your thinking is clear: to her she did NOT give those guys “everything”, she just fucked them. To her and most folks, sex is just sex. I’m old school and struggled with exactly what you describe, and it was because I still held the blue pill notion that sex is “sacred” or “special” but I was one of very few people that believed it anymore. She doesn’t feel like she gave them anything, she got what she wanted from them, a good lay. I can’t relate because I’ve never approached a woman strictly for a… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” . . . there’s nothing new left to give to me . . .”

You’re not her special snowflake that she’s been waiting for all her life. You’re just the guy who happens to be there now.

Aelorne
6 years ago

@teddj4g I should have been more precise- she didn’t give them “everything.” But she did give them her sexual “everything.” If sex is just sex, and not “special,” why do we care if a woman cheats? Why do people not bang everyone constantly with no thought as to whom or why they’re banging? Why do we chase and women admit sex? Because it’s a scarce resource that isn’t freely exchanged for no value. So to see her past of nearly freely exchanging her resource for nothing cheapens the feel of it to me… In fact I feel like a chump… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

@kfg I think you’re exactly right. I have to come to terms with the fact that I’m just the dude who happened to be there for sloppy 60ths.

I’m not okay with it. (or at least being the guy who elevates her to LTR status)

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“… In fact I feel like a chump for not being the lowest bidder . . .”

There ya go!

Dreamer
Dreamer
6 years ago

So I have been quietly tracking, though now at this many comments. It’s get hard to follow everything. Not to mentioned, for me, I have trouble always following of all the messages Rollo tries to teach. So first, here’s my understanding of the themes. The Roosh talk also muddles the point. 1. One of the points trying to get across is the issue of experienced women is not merely the experience. The N-count is a useful proxy, but it is still a proxy. The true core is about if the women have the same passion and bond (AKA view you… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ Aelorne ” If sex is just sex, and not “special,” why do we care if a woman cheats? Why do people not bang everyone constantly with no thought as to whom or why they’re banging? Why do we chase and women admit sex? Because it’s a scarce resource that isn’t freely exchanged for no value.” Woah. The Blue is strong in you. On it’s face, sex is not special. Not in this day and age. We care if a woman cheats because we are the romantics and we have more of a “code “, plus we value loyalty. Who… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

@blaximus “We care if a woman cheats because we are the romantics and we have more of a “code “, plus we value loyalty.” -Why is having sex with someone else a violation of the code? Why is it a breach of loyalty? Walking someone else’s dog isn’t a breach of code. Sex is more meaningful than walking a dog… Sex is scarce in an economics sense– thus it has value. HB9’s don’t walk around having sex with homeless men. I feel like I’m engaging in a bit of a semantics war at this point, and that I’ve stated my… Read more »

teddj4g
teddj4g
6 years ago

Aelorne – “If sex is just sex, and not “special,” why do we care if a woman cheats? Why do people not bang everyone constantly with no thought as to whom or why they’re banging? Why do we chase and women admit sex? Because it’s a scarce resource that isn’t freely exchanged for no value.” A. Who says everyone is fucking everyone? Personally I’m fucking my wife currently. But brother, are you going to deny that a whole lot of folks are fucking a whole lot of other folks right now? B. Scarcity mentality. Any alpha you have might as… Read more »

Aelorne
6 years ago

@Rollo since you addressed me directly: I would be very hesitant of ever believing I was the true Alpha there. However I think there’s another dynamic at play there that would kill her pining a bit more than if her prior alpha were still alive.. that Tillman is dead. The scale of craziness in the N-count seems to share properties with the scale of Alpha… For the same reasons i’ll never compete with the exhilaration of being with Pat Tillman, I’ll never compete (sexually, adrenaline-release wise) with her willing complicity in the post-rufie/threesome rape orgy with the lacrosse team the… Read more »

teddj4g
teddj4g
6 years ago

Aelorne -“If this girl had been with 7 boyfriends in consecutive, regular ish relationships- I wouldn’t give an eff. It’s the magnitude of slutdom that drives me up the wall.” There’s your answer. You’ve already judged her as beneath your standards. The mental issue you have is you’re trying to talk yourself into compromising those standards. The reason you feel we are talking in circles is we’ve given you the answer, you just don’t like it. I’m sorry that sucks. Truly. But the solution is: Keep her and compromise your standards Or Walk away. You are still trying to find… Read more »

YaReally
6 years ago

@Aelorne That’s some fucked up sexual history. If you LTR this chick you are retarded. If you try for anything MORE than an LTR with this chick like having a kid or marrying her, you are beyond insane. A chick with that kind of background damage is casual fuckbuddy material at best. Swallowing the pill doesn’t mean not having any standards. It means having realistic standards that define what place in your life a girl gets to be. What most guys do is they’re so in scarcity that they meet some crazy (or former crazy) chick who’s “pretty cool” and… Read more »

YaReally
6 years ago

@teddj4g Shit, you put it way more concisely than my rambling lol @Aelorne basically this: “You’ve already judged her as beneath your standards. The mental issue you have is you’re trying to talk yourself into compromising those standards. The reason you feel we are talking in circles is we’ve given you the answer, you just don’t like it. I’m sorry that sucks. Truly. But the solution is: Keep her and compromise your standards Or Walk away. You are still trying to find middle ground where it doesn’t exist. The good news? Really getting the Red Pill solves this dilemma, because… Read more »

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