Archetypes

archetypes

Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

In Law 17 Robert Greene hits upon a human dynamic that has much broader implications than a useful tool for power. Of course Dread – whether a passive acknowledgement or an overt display – is rooted in this principle, but the fundamental dynamic is that humans have an inherent ability to perceive patterns in nature.

It’s comforting for us to know what to expect in both people and our environments. It gives us a certain sense of security to have things remain consistent, but it also allows us to better pick out and isolate exceptions to that consistency. In a herd of brown cows we can better avoid or prefer the lone purple cow in the field.

It’s important to understand this basic need in humans because it’s both an aid and a hinderance to a Red Pill awareness. Dread works because when it’s applied, or even when it’s simply a new perception, what a woman is being forced to recognize is an inconsistency in what she’s come to expect about a man she’s familiar with. When a husband (or a wife) takes on an interest in hitting the gym where previously he’d had none before, the imaginings this prompts is the triggered result of seeing an inconsistency in a previously reliable behavior pattern.

We are creatures of habit, so when that habit is replaced by another behavior this then becomes the purple cow in a field of brown cows. I’ve stated this in many prior posts, but familiarity, comfort and rapport are anti-seductive elements in a man’s Game. This is one of the first areas I try to address with men trapped in a sexless LTR. Most Beta conditioned men believe that a woman needs to be comfortable with him before she’s willing to sleep with him and are then dumbfounded by how quickly she bangs the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on Spring Break.

These men believe that consistency in behavior will lead to their becoming intimate with a woman – this is a principle of Beta Game that’s reinforced by women with a ‘plan’ for him. However, it’s important to bear in mind that this comfort and familiarity is based on establishing a pattern of behavioral consistency; a pattern women really have no capacity to appreciate.

That’s not cut on women per se, but women’s lack of being able to appreciate a man’s consistency is founded in the same human want to experience security in the environment. Thus the anomaly is what’s appreciated; the ‘hawt’ guy in the right place at the right time who “she wouldn’t normally do this with”.

Bucking the Meta

Men’s unlearned, deductive Game derives from efforts to appear unique amongst the herd. This is the foundation of all Game really. Early PUAs identified the base utility in principles like Peacocking, being Cocky & Funny and mastering the art of Negging because their willingness to experiment with the boldness necessary to do so (often with women they perceived were above their SMV level) set them apart from the masses of men who’s Game was based on the comfort, rapport and familiarity women had told them would make them attractive all their lives.

These early PUA were bucking the meta game of the time. Women were (and mostly still are) accustomed to being pandered to by ‘Nice’ guys, ready and pre-programmed to defer to, respect and pedestalize them by virtue of their being a woman. Thus the anomaly, the man undisposed to that deference, who reverses her expectations of him qualifying to her becomes the purple cow.

Statistically Beta men are the common herd, but this isn’t what they believe of themselves. What that Beta  believes his herd is is what makes his efforts fail and traps him in the plan of the Feminine Imperative. He believes he is the purple cow, but that belief is what makes him common.

That Beta man makes his efforts about adhering to what a fem-centric culture has convinced him will make him unique. He believes he’s bucking the meta; a meta environment he’s convinced is overwhelmingly populated with insensitive Alpha assholes. He believes the Alpha Men (women love to hate) are the common herd and the more he is alike with women and his behavior is more consistent than the Alpha ‘douchebags’ the more he will appear unique amongst them.

Archetypes

I’ve been asked on many occasions about my impressions of Vox Day’s now manosphere-common referencing of different sub-types of men as Alpha, Beta, Delta, Sigma, Omega, etc. I had Goldmund ask me about these classifications when we had dinner last week and I had to admit that I’m much more of a reductionist when it comes to delineating and Alpha mindset from a Beta mindset.

I’ve always been impressed with Vox’s thinking and observations, and I do think his classifications have a definite merit as useful models for abstract personality types, but I have to also temper that by saying these classifications are by no means absolutes. I say that because I know that humans have an insatiable desire to see consistency and familiarity in people. For the better part that want to interpret patterns is generally reliable in predicting behavior, but that isn’t to say personality is ever static.

Robert Greene works his own personality archetypes into the first half of his book The Art of Seduction. He too categorizes different seduction types in an effort to make their strategies more understandable – The Dandy, The Natural, The Rake, etc. And again, these are very useful archetypes upon which Greene builds and applies examples of how each uses various seduction strategies more or less effectively.

While generalizations are always a necessary tool in a broader understanding of a dynamic it’s important to grasp that the archetype you believe you embody are neither static nor deterministic. As I’ve stated before, Alpha and Beta are mindsets, not demographics. We’ve recently had an interesting debate about how uncommon it is for men to break their Beta cycle, and how rare it is for a man to change his stars. I’d like to address this by saying that personality is never static.

Over the years I’ve evolved from naive Beta high school chump to unwitting Alpha semi-pro rock star, to simpering Omega crushed by a BPD woman, to a lesser Alpha husband / father, to an Alpha businessman, artist, and successful brand owner – those are demographics. You could’ve placed me in many of Vox and Greene’s personality types along my progression to who I am today, and my Game evolved with what I adapted to and what proved successful (or so I thought) for me then.

But when I distill it down to an essence, what shifted for me in all these instances wasn’t the label I would’ve applied to myself, but rather what mindset I adopted at that time – Alpha or Beta. The results of my Alpha or Beta impression of myself became what I was. This is why I’m more of a reductionist in this respect. A want for consistency makes archetypes comforting, but there is never growth, there is never arousal or stimulation in comfort.

Equalism in the Meta

I should also address that the prevailing ideology of egalitarian equalism hates the idea of easy archetypes (even though it fluidly applies its own). The easy observation of course is that if all are equal blank slates then categorizing people by personality type smacks of profiling and denying the individual in a state of equality. However the real flaw in the equalist philosophy comes from an ego-investment in a blank slate state that doesn’t allow for ‘types’.

While critics in the manosphere see this categorization as deterministic and incapable of changing, the equalist chafes at the idea that people could be too predictably alike in type and behavior.

Preferences

In Women’s Physical Standards I briefly outlined the concept of men’s fetishization of their ‘type’ preferences when it comes to women:

You see, men will very readily cater their physical sexual “preferences” in accordance with what has proven sexually successful for them in past experiences. In other words, men tend to return to the same watering hole they found to be plentiful in the past. These preferences of convenience manifest themselves as ‘fetishes’ for men. And you don’t even need all that extensive research to prove this.  All one need do is search the vast variety of porn available catering to the physical attributes that men will fetishize. Big boobs, small boobs, big ass, small ass, every hair color of the rainbow, shaved snatch, hairy snatch, teen girls to MILFs and older, tan, pale, ultra-thin to the ubiquitous BBWs (Big Beautiful women). Ladies, name the physical attribute(s), and there’s a fan-group just waiting to bang you. Rule 34 was never more provable than in men’s willingness to fuck damn near any physical demographic of women – just ask the female midgets catering to that fetish of porn.

Men tend to stick with the same breeding circumstances that proved successful in the past. Again, this is another function of the want of a predictability in pattern and behavior. It’s the Watering Hole Theory as I stated here; we go back to what worked for us before.

Men’s deductive, rational nature when it comes to problem solving is both a blessing and a curse in this respect. The problem inherent in repeating the pattern in order to extract a similar success runs the risk of a man being trapped by what he believes are his “natural ”  preference for a certain ‘type’ of woman – the type who would eventually fuck him.

We may fetishize these preferences and thus men believe their only options for sex and intimacy with a woman get pared down to archetypes of women – Goths, Plain Janes, single mothers, big “beautiful” women, etc. become the ‘type’ that will fuck him. They become his ‘preference’, but in the same way men consider the deterministic nature of applying archetypes to themselves, rarely do they consider the archetype of woman their conditions and self-image predispose them to.

Most men don’t see the link between physical types and personality types. In other words they don’t really grasp why they like what they like. A fem-centric society, with the imperative of keeping a man ignorant of it, will offer him the easy answer that his desires, his very arousal cues, aren’t ‘natural’ at all. Rather they’re the result of a nebulous “society” programming him to only respond to what makes a woman less able to compete and consolidate on a man.

In reality physical and personality preferences can differ according to what was priorly successful for him, as well as what a man understands about himself (maturity, SMV peak potential) and what women have or lack in contrast to that.

Law 25

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

I began this essay with the truth that others will always want to see a consistency in your behavior. It’s interesting when you consider this and how flashes of Alpha tend to both shock and excite women expecting a Beta response from you in a confrontational instance.

Both men and women want what they expect from you consistently. Granted, the comfort of the pattern is part of human nature, but the categorization that comes from it is often a way to keep you trapped in the role others expect of you. One reason I advocate that there is no “Beta with a side of Alpha” is because the inconsistent side of that equation is never believable. Women want that consistency to keep you in the role they expect of you.

Men struggling in Dead Bedroom marriages, or ones in which the power/authority dynamic defaults to their wives fight an unenviable, uphill battle to reclaim the Alpha respect their wives really want from them. It’s a difficult situation because the believability of that change doesn’t happen in an instant, it takes the progressive establishment of consistent behavior changes. A sudden switch from Beta servitude to Alpha respect from a woman never happens. What’s necessary is a persistent, slow, believable change in the pattern she’s expecting.

75 comments

  1. He believes the Alpha Men (women love to hate) are the common herd and the more he is alike with women and his behavior is more consistent than the Alpha ‘douchebags’ the more he will appear unique amongst them.
    ~Rollo Tomassi

    That’s the deadly epidemic.
    The lifesaving antidote exists.

    It lives within the words of this blog & the books.

  2. Hi Rollo, I have just finished reading your book after I came across it last month. Your’s is the second book I have finished reading now in regards to relationships and understanding women (inter-gender dynamics). Thank heavens I did Psychology for a semester in University (cos the depth of things almost fucked me up, lol).

    I’m 38years old in about 3 months and I have been wanting to settle down in a marriage for a while but it seems I have been getting it wrong. Don’t get me wrong, im not desperate, as I want a decent chick who turns me on as much as I do her, but with the two books I have read (I’m on to my third being Roosh V), I am dying to put an end to this ill luck I have with women I really want.

    My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, and i still feel weak at times, when i think of her (and the fact that she has moved on), but she did what she did, so theres nothing i can do about that now. After reading your book, I laugh out loud on my own, when the word hypergamy comes out of my mouth.

    I am a scorpio (if you believe in the zodiac) and they say we are synonymous with sex. However, I don’t have a problem with that. I believe I am a high percentile PUA if you ask me, as I have many stripes in terms of pussy walls I have been inside my whole life since University days till now. Even if some of those were working girls (if you know what I mean).

    But my real issue is with women I like for a LTR. I always have heard about Game i.e. you ain’t got game e.t.c. but I am just realising how much it plays a role in dealing with women as separate creatures to men. I really wish I had learned these things earlier in life as maybe I would have been in a marriage by now (as me and just a few of my friends are the last mohicans standing with respect to not being married).

    Back to my my breakup (my ex is a scorpio too. Could that be another reason why we didn’t work?) Although, we have not spoken since the start of June after breaking up at the start of May, for a relationship that started this January – I hope that makes sense. She has short texted me 3 times since between end of June and middle of July, just to check up on me, not like she wants me back, at least that’s the impression I got.

    We had religious constraints (well she did, and she had mentioned it earlier but still went along with it), as I am a Muslim and she is Christian. I made her do some things (which she might have done before) during the last few days of the breakup, which made her say that’s the closest she has ever gotten to having sex.

    You see, my ex is a virgin (don’t know if shes popped the cherry since we broke up). Now, after reading your book, I understand that is her default game. Towards the ending part of your book, is the Myth of the Good girl. That embodies my ex becomes she takes the persona of the Natural in the Art of Seduction (I also have that by the way, cos Rollo, my mental schema about women needs to change, cos its frustrating),

    She is 29 y.o and will be 30 y.o. in 2months. After the break up, I have been in so much mental and emotional pain over a girl I didn’t even fuck. Although we had oral sex a lot. and I went down on her a week before we broke up. You see, I don’t doubt that she was/is a virgin (as several guys/ladies have argued with me, of which I believe she truly is), it was/is her selling point, so to speak. It is exactly what she would imply at the earlier stage of her relationships, of which now I understand, will suck a guy into her (if that’s what you truly want) or not.

    Now fastforward to now (and to make a long story short), I want to put the relationship in perspective from January to May, when it ended. I would humbly say the attraction was there and she liked me, but it was a bit of negotiated desire, although she got into it at times and she really reciprocated in her getting horny and kissing me a lot touching me down there sometimes).

    Also, I failed a lot of shit tests when her attraction level started to wane in April. She started saying shit like she feels as if she was losing her mind. And I was really thinking in my head that there was someone else and she was confused and wanted to get out (all of which was pre-meditated by the way).

    And she started to pull back and back away. And ofcourse, it did the Beta thing which was to pursue. At that point, i really wished i had internalized inter-gender dynamics. it might have saved my ass. And it got worse, although I still got her to do some intimate things, but it was negotiated. My friend even said he felt she could have even been using me, to satisfy her horniness without allowing me to fuck or pop her cherry.

    Anyway, in the end, she clung on to the relationship thing, but I don’t think that’s totally true. Oh, did I mention that I met her dad twice and I let him know I wanted to marry his daughter.

    Rollo, please can you respond and tell me (specific to my relationship) what I did wrong, and what I can do to stabilize with the women I want to be in a LTR with. I just lost a 29 y.o virgin and it hurt my soul because that could have been it for me. And it still hurt till now that I was not Alpha enough.

  3. Rollo, how many alphas (w.r.t. success with women) do you think are there? Nation-wide, out of 100 men, at this moment in time.

    Regarding soft dread: Do you suggest it as strategy to take a plate to places with single women (never mind their SMV) just to make her see that with me she has something other girls desire?
    I was thinking of taking dance classes with my girl (because I kinda like it as a sport and I’d get to know more chicks – these classes always have more girls than guys), but now I also see it as a way to bind her to me.

    „These men believe that consistency in behavior will lead to their becoming intimate with a woman“ – in which ways can you reasonably be inconsistency with a girl you’re not already intimate with. Do you mean being unpredictable the dating/get to know phase? Being unpredictably verbally, or what are typical actions to generate tension via inconsistency in game?
    (I’m still working on adjusting how direct I should be in my desires when approaching. In earlier years, I’ve been on sort of dates only to find the girls have boyfriends. When I’m direct with new girls, showing I want sex, then they block intimacy, even if I can continue to have a good time with girls. By best results, if I recall, I got from interacting with girls for some time in a friendly but non-pushy way, and then only getting more sexual. Early kino doesn’t seem to work in my favor, I seem to sell myself low that way.)

    In any case, while I think I’m on a good path, maybe pondering as much as I do keeps me from significant improvements.

    One should also point out that I think that reading up on theory like here, and what a man takes from it, is extremely dependent on if he currently has access to a woman/sex.
    Similarly, I’m super suspicious of reading and interpreting redpill threads, not knowing if there is a 18 year old virgin writing, or a 40 year old player, or a 18 year old player or a 40 year old virgin.

    I’m not sure if I understand the preference claim, really. E.g. on some fitness forums where they have off-topic threads on women, there’s a „high-test“ meme of testosterone laden guys wanting to bang curve Kardashian type of women, not slim ones. I think gym going people exposed to those threads on those forums then start liking those types just by exposure on the internet – it’s unrelated to them being exposed to real life examples of those types.
    I mean I guess people also like supermodel type – at least think they are sexually attractive to them – even if they don’t know any.

    It’s unfortunate that „beta“ (the letter right after „alpha“) came to be used as the sort of other end of the spectrum – then from what I read now other people (with delta, gamma, whathaveyou) use beta as something quite different.
    In general, I think all the labels like gamma, sigma etc. are to some extent made up by people who can’t honestly see themselves as alpha or the way there, and don’t want to label themselves on the beta side.

    By pre-programmed, you mean it’s in their nature? Seems like an odd expression.

  4. regarding”Men struggling in Dead Bedroom marriages, or ones in which the power/authority dynamic defaults to their wives fight an unenviable, uphill battle to reclaim the Alpha respect their wives really want from them.”
    ALL marriages today, unless the male applied hypergamy himself, are ones in which the power defaults to the wives, because of no fault divorce.
    As soon as he says, “I do” it’s over.

  5. I can’t resist. I’ll bet you 1000 bux she’s a “born again virgin”, lol. At her age, she’s trying to consolidate on the best bargain she can make for a beta but you didn’t make the cut. I’d bet another 1000 bux she’s seeing someone else who looks more like a great beta provider than you do who also won’t “pressure her” for sex – an even greater AFC than you. Her texts to you are to keep you orbiting.

    What to do?
    1.Spin plates. Period. You have Oneitis – the only cure is to have multiple plates. This helps in a million ways and if you’ve read Rollo I don’t have to explain it to you but you need to internalize it.
    2. Focus on internal game/mindset/self improvement. I’m currently in “Monk Mode” and I have to tell you that this is improving my life in ways that I could never have imagined. My life has much more order, is more productive and there is more joy everywhere. From cooking with more flair to completing home repairs I’d dawdled on to the cleanliness of my home to my clothes to my business to my workouts to how I just did a brake job on my car – all from pulling my attention inward. Funnily, this has had me cut one quite sexy 27 yr old plate loose while another hotter one (21, an 8 on my scale (7 on Rollos)- I’m 53) asked if she could come over and hang out on my deck and swim in the lake tomorrow cuz she needs a break, lol.
    3. Share more here.
    4. Try approaching more women.
    5. Read Jack Donovan’s The Way of Men so you can more fully appreciate your own masculinity and fall back in love with yourself as I have.

    @All – Isn’t it unpredictable of me to show back up here? Lol…Consistency is truly the hobgoblin of small minds.

  6. I can definitely subscribe to “versions of myself”, as I’ve looked back on my life and very handily see points where I’ve been beta, sigma, alpha, and so on. It’s said that the human body regenerates itself into an entirely new body, with fresh cells, every seven years. When I look back, I can see an almost to-the-day, 7-year cycle of re-invention.

    This last 7 years, for example, started off with me “going caveman”. But, as life hands out it’s beat-downs, I’ve found myself in an “Omega” mindset.

    What’s brought me back into participation in the manosphere was a recognition that “that shit happened” and “here I am, now what?”, and clearly it’s time to re-invent…
    again.

    Now, I’m beginning to find myself at the point where I “went ghost” from the manosphere in the first place (which is good, for me). See, as we all know, “proper mindset” involves not having women in the forefront of your mind. The cutting edge of the two-sided sword that is the mansosphere is that it inherently goes against this concept. What’s more, it’s often framed with a bunch of negativity, as “the times being what they are” is a bummer, generally, given the negative aspects are presented far more than anything positive. Women + Negativity = wrong mindset

    So, by dwelling in the manosphere, I find myself having women on my mind, negatively, far more than what’s practical for my life. In essence, I find myself obsessing over how to act, or be, around women, and not focused on the ass-kickery I would benefit more from. Basically, my head’s on a “I’m failing at ‘women'” trip, and not a better “everything I touch turns to gold” trip, which is more the case in reality.

    I only offer this insight because we’ve seen several commenteurs “running into the trees” of being mired-down in the details of the dynamics lately, and struggling to “find themselves” while focused on women, not themselves. Sure, gnarly shit happens, but it’s not happening to me because…

    [cloud of ninja smoke dissipating at the edge of the forest]

  7. This idea of unpredictability feels uncomfortable when I do it, because it’s something I’ve had to learn. As someone fighting his co-dependency, suddenly doing a new thing, withdrawing attention, being seen with a hot girl (even if she’s a friend and married) all work in sparking attraction. But very often “Dread” in females manifests itself in lashing out, diminishing comments, passive-aggressive behaviours etc. Ignoring them takes nerves of steel. But in every case I’ve maintained my frame and disciplined myself not to react or over-react I’ve always ended up in a more powerful position.

  8. Dominance
    Dominance
    Dominance
    The dominance mind set must be full time, 24/7,360 a year. an interval dominance (beta comfort) confuse women (she herself is confused/unsure about needing comfort from weak beta, weak beta can’t give authentic comfort) and the beta.
    the alpha mind set is the real comfort women love to hate.
    The calm dominance is the best unpredictability.

  9. Ps
    Never ever let a woman know what you think, what you think is a classified information she will use against you if declassified.

  10. Women are not to be given secrets, a man who share his secrets with a woman makes her think she is his equal and makes him untrustworthy big mouth who was naive to believe giving secrets to women was OK.
    You don’t give secrets to children and who is best at knowing this but women.

    If my best friend gave me a secret I would think twice before I give him one of mine.

  11. @ walawala

    But very often “Dread” in females manifests itself in lashing out, diminishing comments, passive-aggressive behaviours etc.

    My comment is for our readers; I don’t expect a reply from you.

    Women often act like children because of their emotions. Never show butthurtedness or react angrily. Always deny accusations of unfaithfulness. Give lots of comfort appropriately when the inevitable insecurity test appears. Gradually increase the kino as you chat and she cries, just like you’re gaming her–because you are gaming her. Finally hold her, then sexualize so that the relationship will be validated in her eyes.

    Never promise exclusivity unless you’re prepared to give it. Even if you promise exclusivity, make sure that you maintain your options, because unless you have options, your woman will lose attraction to you.

    theasdgamer aka The Duke of Dread

  12. “Ignoring them takes nerves of steel.”

    Only if, for some reason, you give a fuck, which is likely caused by feeling without other options, because that is perceived as a deadly threat by the lizard brain.

    Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death.

    If you don’t give a fuck, it takes absolutely nothing at all. No emotional turmoil. No nerves of steel. No expenditure of will power. All her sound and fury is to you as a grain of sand falling from the top of a heap. It happens, but, ya know, who gives a fuck about a grain of sand?

  13. I must read Laws of power sometime…

    Most of Greene’s stuff sounds exactly what my Great Grandfather,Grandfathers, Great Uncles, Uncles and Cousins told me my whole life.

    Many of these familial giants have long since passed, but ISwearToGod their voices and words ring out in my mind to this very minute, and have never left my consciousness.

    As I’ve said in the comments of the last post, Never let anyone else define you. The earlier one can understand that, the better off he will be in life.

    I equate the unpredictability factor more along the lines of doing what you want to do, when you want to do it. You have to give yourself permission to exercise your self determinative rights when you want to. Others may perceive this as you being spontaneous and/or unpredictable.

    I guess it’s an individual thing as to how much ” practice ” this will take to accomplish. We all have enough ” rules ” and shit that we must do according to others schedules, so at every opportunity take the moments to do solely what you want to do with your time and efforts and don’t put too many limitations on yourself ( *disclaimer* Avoid jails and the justice system as much as humanly possible while exercising your rights ).

  14. More historically inaccurate bullshit. Some days… I just want to stomp the living shit out of some people.

    But such is the nature of the interwebz. Carry on.

    Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    BERTRAND RUSSELL, An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish

    If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.

    SENECA, Epistles

    The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

    NELSON MANDELA, Autobiography

    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself–nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

    FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT, First Inaugural Address, Mar. 4, 1933

    The concessions of the weak are the concessions of fear.

    EDMUND BURKE, speech on conciliation with America

    Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/f/fear_quotes.html#kyo0FueTXwxofHRz.99

  15. What the Boomers don’t know, and therefore haven’t told you, is that they learned everything they know from the Silents.

  16. …I grow tired of grown ass men trembling in fear and ignorance and looking for someone to blame.

  17. @Vulpine

    So, by dwelling in the manosphere, I find myself having women on my mind, negatively, far more than what’s practical for my life. In essence, I find myself obsessing over how to act, or be, around women, and not focused on the ass-kickery I would benefit more from. Basically, my head’s on a “I’m failing at ‘women’” trip, and not a better “everything I touch turns to gold” trip, which is more the case in reality.

    I only offer this insight because we’ve seen several commenteurs “running into the trees” of being mired-down in the details of the dynamics lately, and struggling to “find themselves” while focused on women, not themselves.

    This is why book form Rational Male (& other manosphere wisdom) are actually healthier forms to consume and use. They’re the forms that stand to help men the most (by population). They’re the daily serving of vegetables, capable of delivering the most value to the most healthy among us. This stands in contrast to the manosphere blogs or comment sections that often act more like army hospitals a few hundred yards back from the front, filled with men who are bleeding out from loss of limbs, unknowingly dying slowly from internal bleeding, or suffering shell shock.

    As much as I love Rollo’s writing, thoughts, and the commenters here… If you find yourself living here, you’re probably in the wrong place.

  18. @Rollo
    Roger corman can do both Beta and Ultra Alpha with Julie

    Even the best rock songs i think of go back to this.

    Damn Good read each day i get 80% mentaly better because i am able to hold myself up and learn from deep rooted red pill truths that used to be shamed in silence.

  19. @ Vulpine

    @ Jeremy

    “So, by dwelling in the manosphere, I find myself having women on my mind, negatively, far more than what’s practical for my life.”

    That’s my feeling too.

    It serves a purpose, but once the purpose has been served, it’s no longer useful. Like the koan about the monk who became enlightened, and the first thing he did was go outside and burn all of the books he read on his journey.

    Just a year ago I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night over this ONE-itis girl who I’d never even been involved with, having emotional meltdowns, etc.

    Now I’m working on spinning 6-7 plates. At the very least, with the girls I’m talking to, I’m keeping it sexual and have not fallen into the ‘friend zone’ since breaking the ONE-itis with help from the guys here.

    I’ve got my work cut out for me, but I can already see the transformation happening. I can feel a shift inside of my mind. I completely avoided women for a long time, but re-opening communication with them, but pretty much keeping it fun and sexual — i.e. on my terms, and based on what I want — it feels great.

    It feels like it’s only a matter of time before my ship completes a 180 degree turn. It’s getting there.

    Maybe the best part: I’ve demoted women to something I’d like to do for fun when I’m not working on my business. That’s what’s been taking up almost all of my time these days, and I’m feeling a lot better for it. I’ve been working my ass off to build my skills and go from being a hobbyist to an actual professional. It’s exhausting, and it can be extremely frustrating, but the payoff is getting more experience and seeing my skills grow and develop.

    Between that and spinning plates, my natural “Game” has just automatically gotten better. I don’t have to pretend I’m unavailable, because now I usually am by default. Whether it’s having work to do or talking to another girl that’s more interesting and isn’t resisting me as much, I just don’t have time to deal with bullshit these days — “bullshit” being things that I don’t feel like spending my time on. Things that don’t give me returns on my investment. I can’t afford the time and energy anymore and it feels great to be done with that.

    I’ve experienced, by far, the biggest transformation of my entire life after finding RM and sticking around for so long. The comment section here has definitely played an absolutely tremendous role in my transformation.

    Now that the gears are in motion, I don’t feel like I need it as much. But there’s a lesson in that. It’s like feeling sad about graduating because you and a lot of your friends are going to be going in different directions and the bonds will dissolve.

    But that’s what we came here to do in the first place: transform. Wake up, learn, and ultimately leave the nest.

    Now my biggest problem is not developing ONE-itis for RM and the comment section here, lol.

    Although I will say guys like YaReally, scribblerg and Vulpine are tremendously inspirational with the transformations they’ve gone through, and are some fine examples of some of the excellent teachers we have here, obviously on top of Rollo’s teachings on this blog and in his books.

    There’s definitely value in sharing experiences, both good and bad, and learning and improving from them. In a community setting like this, it can be excellent.

    But it is important, as I’m realizing, to know when you’ve absorbed enough information to start making changes in your life, and focus on that. Nothing wrong with checking in once in a while, but I’ve noticed that guys here who used to comment more are commenting less because their lives have been improving as a result of digesting TRP.

    Maybe commenting is just a part of that digestive process.

    Anyway, I’m glad to see it. Connecting and sharing experiences and all — that’s great. But knowing that men’s lives are improving in very real ways as a result of TRM and the community here is the best.

    I will say that I still feel like I have my training wheels on, and I like reading the comments here because no other men in my life ‘get it.’ I have one friend who was just trying to dissuade me from plate spinning, and was very judgmental of it — it took me a little while to recover from that and get my bearings again.

    Knowing that there are like-minded people out there, and connecting with them — even if it’s only a little bit — can be a huge help.

  20. @walawala:
    This behavior is called a “shit test.” I admire your reactions and feel continue inspiration. Dread game is not always pleasant for either participant, but unless you want a sexless or crappy relationship, it is necessary.
    I started this with my wife about a year ago. I lost 50 lbs and was looking good. When she didn’t stop coming at me (as normal) I hinted I had women waiting in the wings. She tried to laugh it off, but she knew it was true. I am now down to my HS graduation weight and have been weightlifting for 6 months with some nice results. More dread. She has let up.
    For reference: I am a married 46YO 6′ tall 195 lb with 5 lays under my belt: Three were fat and desperate, one was a butterface, and the 5th was my curvy wife. I am working like hell to kill my inner beta. Not easy, but I am achieving results. I’m getting noticed. I may have a date tonight. I no longer hang myself from a rope for reassurance that I have options to the life of sexual failure I have lived. Rollo’s blog has played a big role in me liking me, and my young children keeping their father.

    @walawala wrote:
    But very often “Dread” in females manifests itself in lashing out, diminishing comments, passive-aggressive behaviours etc. Ignoring them takes nerves of steel. But in every case I’ve maintained my frame and disciplined myself not to react or over-react I’ve always ended up in a more powerful position.

  21. Another great post, Rollo.

    Archetypes are nothing more than a distraction. Stop obsessing whether you’re behaving alpha or beta, it just muddies the waters.

    – You’re either in your frame or you’re not.
    – You’re either your mental point of origin or you’re not.

    It’s just that simple. As Rollo often states, Alpha / Beta behaviors come from mindsets. Focus on a mindset of being your mental point of origin and the labels will become unimportant.

  22. @Rollo

    “…..humans have an inherent ability to perceive patterns in nature.”

    As stated, we “perceive” patterns that provide psychological security i.e. predict behavior and control outcome. However, too much reliance on this is a form of intellectual laziness. Because, sometimes we pretend patterns exist when they do not. This pretense occurs individually and in the socialized conventional realm. Mass socialized pretense of nonexistent patterns is one result of social conditioning. The “lemming effect”. Sometimes individuals “perceive” patterns that do not exist because they cannot accept reality.

  23. Guys, after seeing that Corman interview…one ponders, did Alex ever call Roger daddy? 🙂

    @Rollo, isn’t that like the best examples of dread that is naturally occurring without any effort….I think a men should always take advantage…

    Guys, If you were Roger would you hit that?

  24. @Rollo “What’s necessary is a persistent, slow, believable change in the pattern she’s expecting.”

    But….If the man is attempting to change himself in this way for her approval to gain her intimacy, then he fails at the start because he is “changing” to attempt to serve her innate desires. Any attempt to change behavior to meet her qualifications fails because one primary qualification is having no desire to meet her qualifications. He is sublimating himself to her for her acceptance rather than making the change for himself. He must desire the change for himself regardless of her before it is an authentic change. He must first understand what and who he really is.

    Fundamentally this change involves a shift from the FI point of origin to his personal individual point of origin. He must embrace his individuality totally and completely and fully accept his own point of origin.

  25. @Rollo: Exactly! I concur on “soft’ dread. The picture for that post is says it all. Sometimes men need to let situations play out.

    From Soft Dread:
    “I love you guys, I really do. I see a lot of people pass through here but when I see you both together it gives me hope that I can have a good relationship like you two. You’re such a team, I really hope I can meet a guy I can connect with like that.”

    Funny how many women say this but completely lack the awareness that this can only be achieved in a complimentarian context.

  26. you come home, and it’s a beautiful summer evening, and your woman is telling you that she is ready to play. The next thing you know, you and your woman are racing around the back yard with a ball and all the rules have changed. At least the rules have changed in your mind—until you are ready to call it quits and go inside for dinner. How is your woman supposed to understand what has happened? You gave up on being pack leader to race into playing with her instead of making it clear that play begins only when she is calm and responsive. So now she is all turned around about who’s the boss. Remember: Being a pack leader is not a part-time occupation; it’s all the time. Your woman is always looking for consistency and structure, and without it she is going to become confused about when she is supposed to follow your directions and when you two are just buddies.

    Put this all together, and you have the explanation for your woman’s apparent psychic ability. They are constantly looking to us for leadership because they trust our judgment, and they are aware of what we are aware of. They can read our intentions through our body language and energy, and respond accordingly. They know that we have information that they don’t, so are always trying to figure us out.
    Most importantly, they are acutely aware of the clues we are giving even when we aren’t. It can be as simple as the woman figuring out that when you go on a car trip on the day you don’t leave for work in the morning that it might be a bad thing for her, or as complex as sensing the hidden feelings you always have right before that trip to the vet or the bath.
    Women continuously pay close attention to us for clues on what they should do. When we start to pay the same attention to them and to our own behavior, then we’re one more step on the way to becoming a successful Pack Leader.

    Ps
    I love Cesar Milan.

  27. @Blax – Spot on as usual. Punk ass whining is its own punishment though, it’s like shitting in your own pants and sitting in it. The ahistorical, self-serving mewling he links to is perfect for him. Rage, rage, rage young man – while you sit by your fucking computer and watch the world go by, gaming 60 hours a week and jacking off to porn 3 times a day. I’m off to walk the lake, gorgeous today. My new biz model is launched and off to a roaring start, workout/diet in high gear, life in increasingly good order – monk mode, baby, monk mode – http://illimitablemen.com/2014/04/13/monk-mode/

    Internal game is not “part of this” – it’s all of it. It is it. Be, don’t strategize or manipulate. Notice when you aren’t your own mental point of origin and always stay in your frame. I’ve noticed that when I stay in frame I can do things with women and others that I might have once considered “beta/blue pill” but they are not. Being in my frame doesn’t mean I’m a prick, in fact the more comfortable I am in my frame and the better I am at maintaining it, the nicer I am in some ways cuz i’m less frustrated and anxious. Example: I worked over a plate pretty good over some stupid shit she pulled, but I know women are succeptible to a form of apology at just this kind of moment, so I sent her at text with it. I know it’s fucking with her mind and I also know that if I push hard, I have to pull a little sometimes. It’s about creating the intrigue and drama and charge for them – and I’m not invested. I could have not apologized – but that doesn’t get me what I want. That’s frame. It’s like I’m impervious to the forces around me and they get sucked into my world rather than me their’s. This approach has opened up a huge biz opportunity for me this week, just by being who I am, full out, without restraint. Very powerful stuff indeed.

    And yes, buy the 48 laws of power today. Funnily, the more I embrace myself and my masculinity, the more of them I do reflexively.

  28. @NBTM, this is a Crisis of Motive instance:
    https://therationalmale.com/2013/07/18/crisis-of-motive/

    Who are you making changes for? If you initiate any self-improvement effort there’s always going to be something that acts as an incentive for it.

    Upping the Alpha is beneficial for many different reasons. One may be instilling dread in your wife, but another may be stimulating the interest of other women who might be a better benefit than the girlfriend you have at the moment.

    No guy should hit the gym with some target weight or precondition negotiated in his mind or with his woman before he goes.

  29. Rollo…..geez man, that bit about Betas believing that comfort is the key to getting laid…..it’s like you were watching me during my marriage….

    I have yet to meet a woman post-marriage that didn’t respond favorably to dominance. They ALL love and long for it. Socially, sexually, in all ways.

    Now….with a woman, I sometimes say no….randomly…just to reassert dominance. Dispute what they say, treat them like children, anything to let them know who is in charge. Hell, I even have some of them call me Boss.

    Boys, you want to get laid, let them know through words and actions that YOU are the man. They will love you for it.

    Rollo, you’re doing the good work here. Chapeau.

  30. I remember watching an episode of that “pack leader” program where there was a woman who threatened to divorce the husband because of a dog. The couple lived in some rural place and bred horses for a living. She owned this very beautiful dog that she really loved, but the dog had attacked and almost killed their toddler son (three times!). The dad had saved the boy those three times. In one of those times the boy was critically injured and was admitted in hospital and had to be stitched up and shit. The man wanted to put the dog down, and that was when the woman threatened divorce. I was so pissed off watching that thing I just never managed to bring myself to watch that bullshit ever again. I used to enjoy the Cesar magic in all the episodes before that one though…

  31. @NotBorn…

    “But….If the man is attempting to change himself in this way for her approval to gain her intimacy, then he fails at the start because he is “changing” to attempt to serve her innate desires. Any attempt to change behavior to meet her qualifications fails because one primary qualification is having no desire to meet her qualifications. He is sublimating himself to her for her acceptance rather than making the change for himself.”

    In my circumstance, I looked at it a little differently. I changed myself for either HER intimacy or someone ELSE’S. In other words, all the positive changes you make will either benefit you in your current relationship or they will benefit you in your future relationships.

    In my case I honestly had gotten to the point where I didn’t care one way or the other. I had one foot out the door and she knew it. She saw other women talking/lightly flirting with me. She noticed (and commented) on the changes in my dress, demeanor, style. During one of her particularly bad blow ups when she proposed divorce, I told her calmly and without emotion to go ahead and file and that I already had one of the toughest divorce lawyers in the country on retainer… (I do.) She was floored by that one.

    Her behavior has been a 180 and we’ve been getting along swimmingly… How far have I come? She was recently kind of lamenting to me that she knows if we ever split up, that I’d never look back and never give her another thought (Comfort test). It’s gone from constant shit tests to comfort tests. At least in my case I count that as a big improvement.

  32. Doubter
    “Dispute what they say”
    Agree 1000%.
    And I should add :
    When they say bullshits.
    I think woman’s bullshits (solipsism)start at an early age when Daddy and Mommy let her get away with bullshits, and when she gets older, she uses her bullshits with a Beta not an alpha.

  33. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention

    Absolutely true! The only way to succeed in getting the women that you want is to surround yourself with them in such a way that you are their center of attention. I could give what works for me, but that would make me a little too easy to track, and I prefer that my prey not realize they are being tracked till after I’m bedded them, and sometimes not even then as women like to think everything was an accident rather than the result of carefully laid plans which where executed properly.

    So figure out what works to get the type of women you like – I like them young 18-22 and willing to please me, that combination leads ot some specific areas so placing yourself in them is the best way to get the types of women you want. This weekend I will be playing at a wedding – young women all looking for fun, and there is no easier pickings then a wedding. But it depends on your skills, what you enjoy, and the types of things you excel at – look for the overlap between those and where the types of women you want are. Never settle – that’s for losers and idiots – create the environment you want, then bag your prey. It really is that simple.

    Also women love a story on how they met you – give it to them, even if it’s just fiction. Women are easy to manipulate into doing what you want once you understand them.

  34. We may fetishize these preferences and thus men believe their only options for sex and intimacy with a woman get pared down to archetypes of women – Goths, Plain Janes, single mothers, big “beautiful” women, etc. become the ‘type’ that will fuck him. They become his ‘preference’, but in the same way men consider the deterministic nature of applying archetypes to themselves, rarely do they consider the archetype of woman their conditions and self-image predispose them to.

    Most men don’t see the link between physical types and personality types. In other words they don’t really grasp why they like what they like. A fem-centric society, with the imperative of keeping a man ignorant of it, will offer him the easy answer that his desires, his very arousal cues, aren’t ‘natural’ at all. Rather they’re the result of a nebulous “society” programming him to only respond to what makes a woman less able to compete and consolidate on a man.

    In reality physical and personality preferences can differ according to what was priorly successful for him, as well as what a man understands about himself (maturity, SMV peak potential) and what women have or lack in contrast to that. ”

    @rollo…good post…
    The text above was the highlight of this post for me. I can’t remember if you’d spoken on this in one of your books or a previous blog post but it really hit home.

  35. “Funny how many women say this but completely lack the awareness that this can only be achieved in a complimentarian context.”

    That’s because, while they understand *what* they want, they have no idea how to achieve it, other than wishing for it to “happen” to them with no investment or effort on their part. Dude is just supposed to show up and make it happen.

  36. OT: I really like what Camille Paglia has to say about women being unhappy because men aren’t acting like girlfriends.

    “Wherever I go to speak, whether it’s Brazil or Italy or Norway, I find that upper-middle-class professional women are very unhappy. This is a global problem! And it’s coming from the fact that women are expecting men to provide them with the same kind of emotional and conversational support and intimacy that they get from their women friends. And when they don’t get it, they’re full of resentment and bitterness. It’s tragic! Women are blaming men for a genuine problem that I say is systemic. . . . Now we’re working side-by-side in offices at the same job. Women want to leave at the end of the day and have a happy marriage at home, but then they put all this pressure on men because they expect them to be exactly like their female friends. If they feel restlessness or misery or malaise, they automatically blame it on men. Men are not doing enough; men aren’t sharing enough. But it’s not the fault of men that we have this crazy and rather neurotic system where women are now functioning like men in the workplace, with all its material rewards.”

  37. Heheheheee… No kiddin! You did write about the goddamn dog! The dog thing also catching on here in Africa among the female yuppies population. And they “Awwww” and “yay” a lot too.

  38. Those men on here asking about advice for “married game”: Law 17 is a good one and should be applied.

    There is nothing worse then letting a woman (your wife or LTR) predict your every move. I told one of mine (one time) that she knew how I was when she met me so why did she think I was going to change.

    This fallout is exactly what happens during those LTRs (and marriages). She had the tingles for you “back when” because the unknown was the driving force. But now she has you and your movements are predictable (plus too many men give up their interests to try to please a woman).

    Men, keep doing your own things (hobbies, gym, etc…) and if a woman starts to bitch about it then let her know that these things were around before her….why did she think you’re going to give them up? (and don’t give them up…because it’s all just a shit test).

    Show her the door if she doesn’t like it (or in my case, I’ll stop the bus to let her off). I am the Driver.

  39. @ Rollo, I don’t recall how I came across your work but I’ve been following well over a year now (own both books). For me this experience is a refinement Process @ age 43 having lost course for a period of time. In future articles or possibly a series could you expand in more detail the subject of demonstrating v. Explicating and doing so w/the evo physc/bio undertones that reinforce each piece.

  40. @Chump no more

    “Archetypes are nothing more than a distraction. Stop obsessing whether you’re behaving alpha or beta, it just muddies the waters.
    – You’re either in your frame or you’re not.
    – You’re either your mental point of origin or you’re not.
    It’s just that simple. As Rollo often states, Alpha / Beta behaviors come from mindsets. Focus on a mindset of being your mental point of origin and the labels will become unimportant.”

    Yes, I agree. At some point you just live it, and intellectualizing it becomes a distraction. And as Scribblerg points out, proper application actually sometimes entails breaking the ‘rules.’

    That said, I think there’s a place, in the early stages of learning, for keeping the alpha/beta dichotomy alive in your consciousness. Not all the time, but as a corrective – you occasionally back up and evaluate if a) you’re getting the results you desire; and b) if the things you’re doing seem to match the ‘archetype’ you’re aiming for.

    If you’re beta, and you’re shooting for alpha, it’s incredibly helpful to start with a map. But the map isn’t the territory.

  41. @sgtted

    ‘“Funny how many women say this but completely lack the awareness that this can only be achieved in a complimentarian context.”
    That’s because, while they understand *what* they want, they have no idea how to achieve it, other than wishing for it to “happen” to them with no investment or effort on their part. Dude is just supposed to show up and make it happen.”

    Lol, yup. So learn to play that instrument. They’re not gonna learn to play you.

    “OT: I really like what Camille Paglia has to say about women being unhappy because men aren’t acting like girlfriends….”

    I think the reverse is also true. Men are trying to find from their women some of the camaraderie, loyalty, and openness they should be sharing with male friends.

    Jack Donovan, dude. ‘The Way of Men.’ Read it.

  42. As a scientist i fully support Rollo’s work.The most important attribute aspect a man can learn and internalize is frame control and understanding that males MUST be the mental point of origin.Alpha is a mindset, it all begins with a man understanding where he is heading in life and putting himself first at all times.A man must BE FIRST first.

  43. Rational Male is on an upswing again!

    With regards to people expecting consistency, and women not trusting Alpha with a side of Beta: it’s the same with friendships and friend groups.

    Most of your friends will not want you to change or improve yourself. Many will not encourage your initial forays into self development (which is the most vulnurable period of taking the red pill; the beginning). Your friends will want you to stay the same dude with the same level of value/confidence/importance you had when the initial status differentials of the group were established.

    When you try to go Self Dev initially they will ridicule you rather than support.

    When you get your first small successes they will mitigate them.

    When you get your larger successes they will grow jealous and start to talk behind your back.

    When you try to help them with what you’ve learned so far, they will hate you for being a know-it-all.

    By the time you’ve become so successful they can’t deny you’re doing something right they will start expecting freebies and you’ll be so far above them in value that you won’t want to be friends with them anyway…

    If you’re going to start improving yourself expect to lose old friends and find better ones.

  44. What women really think of men:

    http://sheddingoftheego.com/2015/08/01/ … -feminism/

    This comment was posted by an “anti-feminist” woman:

    “I hate to admit it but most of the younger woman here – including myself do not feel much empathy or compassion for men. Instead, we generally use men as a mirror to reflect our own vanity. And often we provoke their desires in cruel and capricious ways, simply for our own self gratification. Only our children can inspire a true feeling of love within us – at least if we have normal maternal affections.

    In reality, our primary interest in men is obtaining a life of comfort and security – both for ourselves and our children – which is why we still value marriage.And since younger men are becoming increasingly reluctant to marry, many of us are proclaiming to be antifeminists to help assuage their fears end secure a long-term commitment.

    Fortunately for women men’s sense of chivalry is still strong. Men are still eager to believe that women have a caring and unselfish nature. So by feigning compassion for men, we are likely to find a husband with good financial prospects, a husband whom we can always divorce if we become dissatisfied, while continuing to enjoy an affluent lifestyle.

    That I’m afraid is the real nature of women. Perhaps this page should be renamed “The myth of female beneficience”. And yet, even though I am revealing our inner motivations, most men will despise me because they prefer a beautiful lie to a painful truth. However, in spite of my selfish instincts, I have spoken the truth, fully aware that you shall only heap derision upon me.”

  45. @Excalibur

    I suspect a sock puppet.

    But then, I’d have hardly believed the displays of overt Sandbergian hypergamy that are rampant of late, either.

  46. @ Excalibur

    yes, the women starting to observe, that something with men is different nowadays. Even though still a lot of “betas” out there.

    It’s interesting to read, that she had admitted how the women think…..but thanks to Rollo, we all here know that already

  47. “That post just further confirms Esther Vilars’ book, The Manipulated Man.”

    And what’s in the Bible I might add:

    Men are instructed to love their wives. While women are admonished to submit and give respect to their husbands (Ephesians, chapter 5, KJV). Note the lack of mentioning of love by the woman for her husband. God would not ask one to do something that they are not capable of – Women do not and cannot love men, at least not in the same sense that men love women. Women can love men for what men do for them, his utility, but not men holistically for his entire being.

    A lot of knowledge about women and female nature is being rediscovered. The Ancients understood human nature, especially female nature very well. Unfortunately, modern day culture conceals and obfuscates the true reality of women, and their danger to men.

  48. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
    23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
    24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
    25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
    26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
    27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
    28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
    29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– 30 for we are members of his body.

    31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

    32 This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

    I read this a few dozen times over the years, but I didn’t catch the part about a woman ” respecting ” her husband ( instead of loving her husband ) until about a decade ago.

    Not to get off on a tangent about the Bible or religion ( 2 different things ), but there are answers contained within. Funny thing is preachers, pastors, reverends and priests seem subject to FI massaging when preaching sermons.

    “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

    Too bad ” man ” isn’t forewarned here that the uniting of man and wife is not akin to the love of the mother and father you are leaving.

  49. ‘You see, men will very readily cater their physical sexual “preferences” in accordance with what has proven sexually successful for them in past experiences. In other words, men tend to return to the same watering hole they found to be plentiful in the past. These preferences of convenience manifest themselves as ‘fetishes’ for men. And you don’t even need all that extensive research to prove this. All one need do is search the vast variety of porn available catering to the physical attributes that men will fetishize. Big boobs, small boobs, big ass, small ass, every hair color of the rainbow, shaved snatch, hairy snatch, teen girls to MILFs and older, tan, pale, ultra-thin to the ubiquitous BBWs (Big Beautiful women). Ladies, name the physical attribute(s), and there’s a fan-group just waiting to bang you. Rule 34 was never more provable than in men’s willingness to fuck damn near any physical demographic of women – just ask the female midgets catering to that fetish of porn.’

    The MILFs and older are GILFs. See example:

    http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1683352519

    (try watching all of that)

    As to the female midgets:

    http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1059666468

    The idea that fetishes are manifestations of proven sexual success is silly. Anybody who enjoys watching that midget video doesn’t like it because of proven sexual success of having their genitals punched and kicked by midgets. Guys who like GILFs are unlikely to have developed their fetish by only first having proven success with them. Gays are not gay because it turned out that was their proven success.

  50. and now for something different

    I was browsing around the NSFW of reddit, when I read this, from a wife in a cuckhold relationship (explaining to a newbie):

    Military boy stuck for 2 years. We had sex at least once a month, sometimes twice a month. My spouse would be there, and it was fantastic. I never felt like “a toy” all of us had reasons to “keep this quiet” so no one would ever talk about it openly and I never had to worry about being outted.
    My husband was never at risk of losing me; the military boy was hot, super attractive and a great lay.. but he was not very bright. My husband and I could talk about books, our kids, go to movies.. everything I really valued in our relationship; but the military boy was like a great living dildo.
    That said, I think – and I may be alone – but because I care deeply about my husband there are some sex acts we have never felt comfortable doing together. We consider each other true equals and we value each other as great friends; so the idea of some role play or some things in the bedroom were things that both he and I felt uncomfortable about doing with each other because I don’t think either of us felt good about submitting or doing things that might hurt our partner.
    Using the military boy as a guinea pig to find out whether or not I would like something with few consequences to my primary relationship was a great plus.. we tried a few things (Anal: did not enjoy; swallowing cum, eh, so so taught me to keep gum in my mouth and how to enjoy some things, like BSDM).. and I discovered there are somethings I was OK with from an outsider I would never be OK with from my husband. I was “OK” with military boy doing hard spanking and hard hair pulling. But it felt awkward and strange with my husband – but it wasn’t uncomfortable to do with the military kid or for him to enjoy watching. At the same time, some of the sexual acts I valued most; cuddling with my husband afterward, kissing and holding hands.. I wouldn’t do with military boy because those felt so personal that they belonged with someone who was my best friend and someone I truly loved.

    The full reply is here for the time being:

    http://www.reddit.com/user/hotwifeanon

    For her, acts of primal sexuality, such as swallowing cum, anal, hard spanking, and hard hair pulling, would NEVER BE OKAY WITH MY HUSBAND even though she has now done them, and he’s watched her do them. The sexual acts that she valued most, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, that is emotional sexuality, she would never do with the great living dildo. They say that men can compartmentalize sex better, but look how easy she separates the alpha from the beta.

  51. @excalibur

    Lol. Misogynist! Don’t judge meee! 😥

    I think you misunderstand me.

    I don’t dispute women are that way. I’m surprised one of them had the introspection and motivation to realize it.

  52. “I’m surprised one of them had the introspection and motivation to realize it.”

    Don’t be. They know it. They talk about it. They plan it within the group. You are the one who is supposed to be ignorant of the whole thing, not them.

  53. @kfg

    Heh. The memory of the internet is the hardest problem women have had to navigate since monogamy.

  54. @Rollo

    Good post, few thoughts.

    First, I find so few men (<.5 %) capable of the self-awareness required to even see their own behavior, much less change it.

    If they could though, then internalizing the following and studying cybernetics would be pretty empowering:

    First law: "The unit within the system with the most behavioural responses available to it controls the system."

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