Rollo Tomassi confession time: There was a time when I was in my late teens to right before I was 21 when I would’ve easily married one of my first LTR girlfriends. My Beta conditioned state of mind was such then that I would’ve launched headlong into what would surely have been a tragic marriage based on Blue Pill naiveté and changing the course of my life.
I made a special effort to cover the commonalities of this period in what I called the Break Phase in my second book and from the Preventive Medicine series of posts. It’s a dangerous time for young men feminized and conditioned to put women’s imperatives, ambitions and support above their own. This eagerness to please and put off his own future ambitions (the ones he allows himself to entertain) is the result of an acculturation process that prioritizes identification with the feminine and sacrificial supportiveness of any woman’s ambition he may be paired with during these ages.
Often this is the first time in his life he has the real opportunity to prove his dedication to a girlfriend by arranging his life around her goals – goals that are based on her own acculturation of female empowerment and entitlement. Sometimes this drive comes from a young man wanting to out-support the performance his father dismally failed at with his victimized mother, but mostly it comes from a thorough Blue Pill conditioning that assures him the old set of books are the rule set women can be expected to follow.
This is the crux of it; he is at his most eager to please while she is just coming into realizing what her sexual market value peak can leverage for her. Don’t assume that this leveraging is strictly based on securing things for herself, but rather what her impulses are leading her to. The time at which young men are their most ready to be “the perfect boyfriend / husband” is usually when young women want monogamy the least. Young men’s Blue Pill idealism is generally unblemished by having it betrayed at this point.
When I was passing through this time I was ready to suspend, postpone or simply abandon the ambitions I wanted for myself then just for the prospect of securing a girlfriend, wife, LTR, stable and lively source of sex and intimacy.
How could I not? I’d been conditioned my whole life up to that point to believe in the Disney fairytale that had me believe if I could just do more for a woman, be more like a woman, be sensitive to her feelings, and do everything in my very limited power to help her achieve her dreams she would appreciate the effort and the sacrifice and reciprocate with her own genuine love, sex and devotion to me.
Naturally the Blue Pill had convinced me that men and women shared a mutual concept of love and that my burden of performance was only based on how well I could help a woman rise above the horrible injustices that my poisoned gender had ruthlessly perpetrated on womankind in the centuries before I was born.
I’m thankful I was spared from the worst consequences of that delusion. I know too many men today who did just what I would’ve then. Most are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage, with kids from the first or second and still wondering how it went so wrong for them. They all either forced that fantasy to happen for themselves or paired with a girl who simply hadn’t come to understand her SMV during that period before she said “I do.” Almost to the man, these men’s wives went through what I describe in Making Up for Missing Out.
It’s not to say that I didn’t take the sting of rejection during that time, but I’m glad to have been rejected in light of so many men’s experiences for making their Blue Pill dreams come true.
Wait For Me
It’s ironic that the time at which young men are most eager to put on the yoke of what the Blue Pill has conditioned them for is the same time women want it the least. As I mentioned in Dream Killers:
The truth however is that the longer you remain uncommitted, the more opportunities will be available to you. It’s been stated by wiser Men than I that women are dream-killers – and while I agree with this, I’d say this is due more to the man involved, and their own complicity and apathy, than some grand scheme of women.
[…]Women are dream killers. Not because they have an agenda to be so, but because men will all too willingly sacrifice their ambitions for a steady supply of pussy and the responsibilities that women attach to this.
I recently read a forum post from a young man who was lamenting his ‘friend zone’ state with a girl. I had to laugh because I’d heard his ONEitis girl’s exact same words, verbatim, when I was about 19 or 20. She said to him,
“You’re such a great guy, but I’m not ready for a relationship right now. How about this, if neither of us is married when we’re 30 we’ll get married, ok?”
Hearing this negotiation now at 47 I have to laugh sardonically; it’s the same ‘deal’ I’d been offered at 20. At 47 I can see the machinations behind it – “Hey Beta chump, I like your dedication to the Disneyland narrative, and you’ll make for a dutiful and lucrative supporter once I’m 30 and done with the Alphas I really want to fuck while I’m in my prime, so how about you and I get married once I’m ready to finally ‘get it right with the right guy who was there all along’ okay?”
In other words, wait for me and be my Plan B guy just in case, ok?
What makes this unfunny is that at 20, young men want to believe the best of women. They want to believe she really thinks he’s so special she wont be able to not marry him and fulfill his Beta programming at 30,…so long as he’s patient. He wants to believe her earnestness because to do otherwise would be to judge her, and that, he’s been taught, is the worst thing a man can do no matter what choices she makes. What makes it unfunny is he actually considers it as a viable option for his life.
What also makes it unfunny is that on some level of consciousness this negotiation, this very long game, is something a woman pre-plans in her head. She knows at 20 years old that she’ll need her Beta-in-waiting. It’s not serendipity that she’ll find a Beta ready to out-support and out-forgive the other guys of her “crazy mixed up past” or her “journey of self-discovery”, no, she has it planned a decade before. It may not be a conscious acknowledgement at the time, but the expectation is there long before she comes into her SMV peak and the years just before her Epiphany Phase.
Beta Idealists and the Endgame
But at the time, young men want to believe it. There’s a certain satisfaction in the prospect that the ‘happily ever after’ will be fulfilled in the future. Of course during that time it’s vital a man disabuse himself of that fantasy, become Red Pill aware and see the ‘deal‘ for what it really is – an insult to him.
For my part that came from not wanting to wait around and learning how to get laid like I wanted to. That period of my life had some great moments as well as some pit of misery ones, but I learned, I grew; and had that girl actually been unmarried at 30 instead of a divorced single mother of two when I got there, I still wouldn’t have married her.
It’s an insult to a man’s masculine nature because it presumes he’d in any way be an attractive choice for his steadfastness. Any guy who’d even entertain the insult only confirms his Beta, optionless and destitute status to a woman who’s already planning to follow the dictates of her Hypergamy. He’s the sure thing, and his Blue Pill conditioning would convince him that his burden of performance is predicated on his perseverance, when in fact it just verifies him as a guy who Just Doesn’t Get It.
Again from Dream Killers:
I tend to promote the idea that Men should be sexually and emotionally non-exclusive until age 30, but this is a minimal suggestion. I think 35 may even serve better for Men. The importance being that as a Man ages and matures in his career, his ambitions and passions, his personality, his ability to better judge character, his overall understanding of behavior and motivations, etc. he becomes more valuable to the most desirable women and therefore enjoys better opportunity in this respect. Women’s sexual value decreases as they age and it’s at this point the balance tips into the maturing Man’s favor. It’s the Men who realize this early and understand that bettering themselves in the now will pay off better in the future while still enjoying (and learning from) the opportunities that come from being non-exclusive and non-commital make him a Man that women will compete for in the long term.
One of the first things I have to explain to a young guy about the Red Pill is that what he believes is so vitally important to him in the now will be rendered meaningless in only a few years. I can only try to explain to him how his idealism about holding together his now long distance relationship with his high school girlfriend will change and decay, but at this age and with his Blue Pill conditioning it’s very hard to communicate.
The Break Phase is an all or nothing prospect when it comes to helping a young man unplug himself. Unfortunately it usually takes the trauma of a breakup (made all the worse due to his investment in a Blue Pill fantasy) and confronting the reality his girlfriend is experiencing in college and her coming into her peak SMV years.
What he lacks is the insight and experience to fully grasp his situation. One reason the Sandbergian plan for Hypergamy reaches its limit around a woman’s Epiphany Phase is because it’s at this critical point that a man can more or less be expected to be a better judge of a woman’s character – or at least that’s the anxiety that the Wall engenders in women.
This point also coincides with a woman’s SMV decaying, whilst his is on the ascent to being realized. There’s a lot riding for her on a man remaining ignorant of the Game that’s been played for the past decade. Ironically it’s this same ignorance, the one she needs him to retain for so long, that makes him unattractive and ultimately unsuitable as long term prospect she can be aroused by or respect.
Thus we see the infancy of this anxiety in her earlier years when she asks her “perfect boyfriend” to wait for her until she’s ready for him to serve her necessity. She plans ahead with the ending in mind.
Another pretty lie from my FaceBook feed from a guy I know:
This is a lie men tell themselves, and tell women who already know it’s a lie, but are happy to have their Beta believe they wouldn’t have rejected him in favor of the Alphas they were fucking (or wanted to fuck) back then.
This is the soul-mate myth that romantic Betas console themselves with. They truly believe that declarations like this will be appreciated by the women who planned then, and plan now.
@Mr. T
You’re absolutely right.
Reading more of the latest comments and stuff. I have to pose a question that I know my reading comprehension says it doesn’t say that way. But I sure as hell feel like it. The point of the post is that a guy shouldn’t resign himself to be a backup plan while the girl hops from one guy to another over her youngest years. That a girl that tell you to come back in 10 years is a girl to be told fuck off. But I am also sensing something else. Is part of the message is avoiding those women… Read more »
Dreamer,
Yup, you need to alpha up. So that you can inspire the AF in women.
And NAWALT works to a degree with attraction. If you’re an attractive man, you’ll trip some girls’ triggers and not others. So find one that you do it for.
Just understand AWALT in that they all share the same underlying basic drives.
@Dreamer:
Bear in mind that life is like an arcade game. Winning is, in the mathematical sense, undefined.
Dreamer, not alpha up, that is impossible unless you are born as a true alpha. You can though become more masculine as most beta’s and alpha’s were 60 or more years ago.
Nothing wrong with being a beta, so long as you are a masculine beta. Take no shit from anyone, live for you first, and if you feel like being a nice guy, then do so in a masculine way, with pride and self respect and not taking shit from anyone.
@DeNihilist “Nothing wrong with being a beta, so long as you are a masculine beta.” Masculine Beta? I get your point, but personally, this feels like an oxymoron and dangerously close to ‘building a better beta’. “Live for you first” Now this I can get behind… enlightened self interest. Find your passion, whatever in your life makes you think “Fuck yeah!”, and pursue it to absolute mastery. Commit to 0.1% better everyday. From this comes self confidence, self respect, social proof, and ultimately becoming your mental point of origin. Without this, frame control will be an unending and frustrating struggle.… Read more »
“AFVM is too purple pill for me.”
A Voice for Housewives Building a Better Beta.
” . . . not alpha up, that is impossible . . .”
If alpha is a mindset, all you have to do to alpha up is change your mind.
See you at 30? The proper response is to pick up her mom.
“I had to see what that would be like. You understand don’t you?”
The difference between a Brothel and the world we’re living is: 1, an overt prostitute started her career with an alpha fuck and now fuck beta bidders. 3, A covert prostitute started her career the same but chose to do her business in a covert way. 2, getting married in this age is a beta having his wedding at a brothel and don’t fool yourself, there are still a lot of bidders and the prostitute knows it too. You beta are the left over, plan B or D. Now if you insist on getting married, get a Dog and do… Read more »
“ The time at which young men are their most ready to be “the perfect boyfriend / husband” is usually when young women want monogamy the least.
When you consider that just before this time, girls are at their highest fall in love rate, any relationship a guy gets in is mainly based on the pure fun of it, it’s easy to see why so many guys stumble and tumble over this.
I like the fact that Rollo’s original post her speaks to young men in their 20’s. But I am going to hang back in this thread for a number of reasons, not the least of which is I have been exhibiting too much pressure of speech here lately. I have a 20 year old son and he seems somewhat well adjusted lately. My INTJ personality hands me a weakness in being a mentor to him manifested as a hands off approach to lecturing to him. (My father was an INTP and I loved his approach which was also hands off).… Read more »
Although, last year my son did volunteer to my wife that “Yeah, dad told me to not get married until I’m 30”.
I really have become convinced there’s no such thing as a psychologically and emotionally healthy, physically attractive < 25 year old woman out there that hasn't been snatched up already. Much less one that would consider long term with a dude 10-15 years her senior. Any woman not fitting in that category is most likely not marriage material though, as much older means she either has kept a stable of guys waiting for "if I'm not married by 30", she's building a career with plans to Have It All ™, or she's firmly in the FUMPs category somewhere. LTR shouldn't… Read more »
@ Sun Wukong
You speak harsh truths. Harsh only because too many have been conned into believing the “pretty lies.” In those lies we have been denied the opportunity to learn to deal with reality, harsh though it may be. Worse still the lies have greatly compromised our ability to appreciate whatever natural beauty there may have been within that harsh reality.
I find myself in complete wonder that the level of anger and bitterness within the ‘sphere isn’t orders of magnitude greater than we actually see. I suppose that’s a reason for hope of some kind.
Yes you have become convinced Sun Wukong. Any of the regulars here will tell you you are a great guy with great talent and a bright future. What ever that may be. I sure would like to have you on my team in a post-apocalyptic world, but alas, I probably wouldn’t have enough gasoline or insulin to get down to Dallas. We wouldn’t disagree on your above statement. But fuck it. You have been through hell. Have some schadenfreude and a good beer. Laugh and be judgmental toward the other fuck-ups in the world. You are a talented guy with… Read more »
@BP Sad part is, I understand why they want to believe that pretty lie. As I told SJF on Sunday, I deeply want to be wrong about my conclusion. I really do. I would love to be proven so completely wrong by finding myself in an LTR with an exception to that rule that it ain’t even funny. However, there’s no evidence I’ve seen yet that it’s incorrect. I think this leaves guys pushing the late 30s and beyond range out of the marriage market if they’re playing it smart. Disheartening. I will keep my eyes and ears open for… Read more »
From now on I am not sjfrellc.
I am SJF
My friends I’ll say it clear , I’ll state my case of witch I’m certain :
Two things Men are yearning for because they don’t exist
1, Love.
2,God.
So live with it.
Ps,
I’m surprised some of the power house commentors still dwell about finding a woman to ” love”.
@Mr T
Allow a man his flaws while he’s fixing them. It’s not an easy process.
@ Sun Wukong
It’s a great lie. It’s especially great when you’re sold it at age 5, and it gets taught, reinforced, and expanded through early adulthood. I wonder if the exception you want to find (and me too) are the residual poison of the lie. In short we now tell ourselves the lies because we can’t believe anyone else. I don’t know about you but that may be inhibiting my ability to enjoy the reality that is.
Mr T, I love my woman. She loves me opportunistically. No one is fooling themselves if you understand red pill awareness and game. Man’s only intimacy with women is when they tell you “thank you for fucking me”. Despite Law #4, lately you say too little. You are not advancing the ball or the discussion. But then, I am a stoic, positive person in a non-traumatic position. But there is always tomorrow when I might fuck up and it all is hell. That does not stop me from proceeding with enlightened self-interest as a positive masculine male that tries to… Read more »
Women are in the business of offering their bodies not love.
When you see women, do you see a sign saying :
I can love you, I care for you ? No, you just see it exactly like she sees it, a body with tits and ass.
If she loves you, her love to you is like when God loves you.
Now tell me how do you feel God’s love?
God’s love + woman’s love is = bullshits.
The only weapon men have to defeat feminists / Hypergamy is the realization of women can’t love men.
Convincing men of that is as hard as convincing a man that God’s love is something you can never feel (especially if you think he talks to you ! ).
Totally agree with you Mr T. God’s are fungible. That is why a man makes himself better at being a man. And makes his best presentation possible for him to a woman. And don’t kick a fellow man when he is down. Unless he is on another team and you totally want to annihilate him. Your fellow red pill guy is not your enemy. Give advice to him, for his benefit and applicable to him, don’t criticize. Have honor among your fellow man. Don’t jump to law 15 on a gang member. Apply it to the enemy. Law #15 Crush… Read more »
SJF
“Man’s only intimacy with women is when they tell you “thank you for fucking me”.
I want her to BEG me to fuck her I don’t need her “thank you for fucking me”.
Same thing. A distinction with out a difference. Except us old married guys will take advantage of the situation and take the lagging indicator. Begging you is a leading indicator. Good luck with that.
“Begging you is a leading indicator. Good luck with that.”
I had plenty of them begging me.( just ask M Simon) .
If only men would know how not to love women (love their bodies ONLY) .
Men’s love is used as a devastating weapon by women.
Women would worship men if they only knew, but, they project because they can’t love men so they think men think the same.
Look at history, it was men who created God and God’s love or Goddess.
My friends just stop loving women, she is not God.
God please help me. I just possibly can’t shut the fuck up. Mr T and M. Simon: Law #38 Think as you like but Behave like others If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.… Read more »
I have no doubt that Mr T and M. Simon have adapted to their situation.
But you are speaking to a crowd. Speak as if it applies to the crowd.
Thank you very much for not being solipsistic.
Okay, I’m gonna speak like the crowd.
Poor me, why I can’t find a virgin (wiping my tears).
Why women don’t love me.
all I wanted is somebody to love me for who I’m.
God……why! Why? , why I can’t find a unicorn?
Good luck with your rep here Mr T.
@Mr T
Now you’re just sounding more pathetic than the people you’re making fun of, what with your relentless attacks on guys supposedly inferior to you. How’s that projection working out?
Re: Mr. T
I pity the fool.
What are you all talking about!
Women are INCAPABLE Of loving.
Yeah LIVE WITH http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2e07tm_tom-jones-i-who-have-nothing_music.
“God……why! Why? , why I can’t find a unicorn?” Thank you for your support of other men in the manosphere. Nice work inspiring the young 20 year olds. Good for you to shit on the thread. There are no unicorns out there. There were a few 20-25 years ago. But don’t bother with red pill awareness and developing your best game. So when a simulacrum comes along you will not take the bait and pass. Good luck with your skepticism, negativity, cynicism, and pessimism. (Ed. Mr T is full of shit. Young guys. Read, digest and have a plan for… Read more »
With all the posts Rollo written,
You guys, are you sure you know what he’s talking about?
Can’t you fucking hear him saying if he would find himself single again he would never get married again.
Are you people deaf?
It is beyond me that you still dwell about why women can’t love you or anyone else.
“Yeah LIVE WITH”
WTF? what are you smoking or drinking that leads you to post dead end statements (non-sequiturs)?
@ SJF
The non-sequitur is rectified by understanding the linked whatever to be the rest of the statement. It wasn’t well crafted.
You morons
Answer me :
What make Rollo say he won’t marry again if he finds himself single again?
Come on, tell me the results of you “getting it”?
@Mr T
It is beyond me that you still dwell about why women can’t love you or anyone else.
You sure you want to accuse other people of not getting what he’s saying? Pull your head out of your ass.
It’s not that women can’t love. It’s that they don’t love the way men do. You want somebody that loves you the way men do? Go fuck a dude.
Sun
Answer my question :
What made Rollo believe in never marry again if he finds himself single again.
Do you “get it “.
@T
Stop acting as though I lack reading comprehension.
Did you not see above where I described why a guy in the upper 30s and above crowd should write off marriage? How imperceptive are you?
It’s not that women can’t love. It’s that they don’t love the way men do.
A woman can love you when you give her money.
When a woman leaves her husband it takes her a week to love someone else, nick name “planB”.
I love watching a motherfucker that can’t type a sentence in proper English try to lecture others on comprehension of what’s discussed here. Comical.
Upper 30s!
Below 30 is okay!?
Do you really think a girl in her early 20s would pause her CC to marry the below 30s guy ? That is naive of you.
I love watching a motherfucker that can’t type a sentence in proper English try to lecture others on comprehension of what’s discussed here. Comical.
Cheap shot.
My bad language got 4 people mad imagine if I wrote in good English.
“What made Rollo believe in never marry again if he finds himself single again.”
He is clear on that. It is self evident. No one needs your questioning of it. Nor your prescription for certain men that might share your aptitude.
Enjoy your own situation. Don’t shit on ours.
Pay attention to future generations. The 20 year olds. Give some hope and guidance within reason.
CNM – I take the classical definition of the Greek rating system. Not this feminine version, where beta is used as a put down, mostly from omega’s trying to convince that they are alpha.
Bonecrcker has aptly illustrated the classic terminology.
http://no-maam.blogspot.ca/2012/06/keynesian-sexual-marketplace.html
KFG – google the turtle and the scorpion if you do not know this old proverb. It is the way of human nature.
He is clear on that. It is self evident. No one needs your questioning of it.
SJF
Yes I’m not questioning Rollo because I KNOW what he meant but DO YOU?
Do the new generation know that?
Stop bullshittin the young.
Pc,
Don’t. Getting married it are no good.
No one is bullshitin the young. They have it bad enough. The original post talks to that.
Some of us have our own ego investments. (Upper middle class in the Midwest, where marriage still has some value).
Pc,
Don’t. Getting married it are no good.
Let me help you in your drunken or illiterate state:
P.S.
Don’t get married. It is no good. Unless it becomes so.
Good luck and have skill at it.
I think this song/video explains Rollo’s men love romantically, women opportunistically perfectly.
https://youtu.be/0xwTywB_3UU
@Mr T Mad? You clearly don’t know me. You’re the one sporting some obvious latent anger issues. Shit’s just brewing for you. As for “cheap shots”, if you don’t want people taking shots at you, don’t take shots that them. Taking a shot at somebody then being pissy when they fire back is a chick move. Come to think of it, maybe all your anger is just because you’re jealous of women. You wish you could be one, so you take on their behaviors like trying to provoke people then crying about when they take shots back at you. Heat,… Read more »
Not agreeing with how he’s saying it, but Mr. T pretty much nailed it @ 9:35pm. It’s not even as genuine as being loved differently, it’s either resource allocation (and remember that attention is a resource to her) or it’s emotional indulgence, none of which has anything to do with the guy sitting across from her. Stop using amorphous words like “love,” “god” and “hope.” They don’t mean anything. They’re just rationalizations people use to fill the holes in their understanding. Nothing useful comes with discussing them. People don’t even get clear on what these things mean TO THEMSELVES before… Read more »
Actress Za Za Gabor (actress now aged 98); married nine times, divorced seven times and one marriage annulled is quoted as saying….
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”
“To be loved is a strength. To love is a weakness.”
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
“I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”
“Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.”
She would know.
@ DeNihilist: “google the turtle and the scorpion if you do not know this old proverb.” I know it quite well. The parable says nothing about the nature of turtles and If all humans were scorpions there would be no point to TRM. If you are self reflective enough to be here in the first place, you are self reflective enough to act upon yourself. Google Teddy Roosevelt, a sickly, weak pussy boy who alphaed up by his own will. “Bonecrcker has aptly illustrated the classic terminology. ” I believe Vox Day has composed the most comprehensive and reasonably accurate… Read more »
Son/sun
“I love watching a motherfucker that can’t type a sentence in proper English try to lecture others on comprehension of what’s discussed here. Comical.”
Could you please respond the other English speakers.
Purple pill is NAWALT.
Hypergamy doesn’t give a rat’s ass how good you speak a language or how good you are at philosophy.
Son
Rollo Tomassi quote: “For the record I’m not anti-marriage, I’m anti-never-saw-it-coming-pollyana-how-could-she-do-this-to-me?-hypergamy’s-a-bitch marriage.” Let’s define what what red pill awareness is. Let’s get back to basics. Best described by the Illimitable Man: http://illimitablemen.com/2013/10/27/dissecting-the-red-pill/ “Let’s start with the name “The Red Pill”, the red pill is a metaphor taken from the movie “The Matrix”, for those who have not seen or do not understand the premise of the movie, allow me to break it down for you. The Matrix is a movie about humanity living in a state of automated delusion, a world of fabrication devoid of meaning beyond the superficial. The… Read more »
There is a great risk that a man’s future smv will not be realized, which is why marrying very young (22 or so) can in fact be a good option – if he must marry. The key is being her first choice.
I cashed out. I’m 32 and have a son on the way with my wondeful LTR of 25.
I’m very lucky that I discovered the Red Pill in my twenties.
Forever grateful to my best friend (natural alpha), Mystery and Style (PUA), and Rollo (RP).
And the basics of why to have game: http://illimitablemen.com/2013/11/10/dissecting-the-red-pill-part-2-q-and-a/ “To me it’s seems TRP started as men just trying to get laid as much as possible and have developed the philosophy as a more effective guide to getting laid, is this correct?” Guys love sex, a lot. Everyone knows that whether you believe in red pill philosophy or not, this is the nuclear missile in the arsenal of weaponry of every insecure controlling piece of crap with a vagina out there. Game is about having success with women and it’s great for everyone involved. Think about it. Most women just… Read more »
And way too long to quote, in regards to amorality:
http://illimitablemen.com/2015/05/19/the-red-pill-you-morality/
@My Brothers Here (the guys here that are actually about winning at the “game”, not hiding from the world or wrapped up on their victimhood or fetishizing their analyses) – I want to apologize for blowing a gasket on the last thread but as I get more internally motivated I find my tolerance for things that I object to, particularly morally, runs to zero quickly. A few quick points: 1. I haven’t read a single comment back at me from that last post and have no interest in any of it, sorry if that offends some here. Anyone who wants… Read more »
@ReticentPill Get the data and make your decisions accordingly. Here’s the thing: that’s exactly what I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no age or class of men in the first world today who I think should marry ever. As a legal institution, marriage is just a way to set yourself up for a huge fall later if you guessed wrong about the woman you’re with. I’m more concerned with the concept of a long term relationship without regard for the legal constructs society puts around it. As I stated up thread, guys around my age and beyond should not… Read more »
It dawned on me a few articles back that I have practiced a law of power without recognizing I was. Law #20 states “Do Not Commit.” Now it is open for interpretation depending on what you are committing to, but in this case it is being someone’s “boyfriend.” I always found the title meaningless and avoided the label even as a teenager. Why? It simply meant subservience. There was never any power to it. There was never a defined set of rules to it except “make this girl fell special and tell her she’s pretty and take her places…etc, etc.”… Read more »
I’ve always known something was wrong with the setup way before I found out about the manosphere.
The old cliche about “Nice guys finishing last” became so commonplace for me, that I began to question why. Until the penny dropped and thought “Why should I get sloppy seconds?”
It spawned a form of hatred towards the opposite sex, which forced me to do something about my situation. I suppose it’s the main reason why so many guys come into the community with misogyny and a hollow inner game.
@ Onder Hassan
I’ve always felt like the game was rigged too. I was very angry for a time and sometimes still find myself easily annoyed with women I was dealing with. I’m not as angry as I used to be because no one hears you emote in a vacuum. Now I simply don’t participate unless it is a winning situation. They must come with the right stuff or GTFOH.
SJF – I find Isaak an interesting soul. This guy is a natural alpha. Great looks, has always been first in his endeavours, etc. Yet his music and songs are so melancholy and mostly about loosing the girl. I find him a hard circle to square.
Scribbler,
My comment regarding the last thread wasn’t aimed at your rant, (being used to your style) but to the weasel that posted at the time I referenced. Your strong reactions to your hot-button issues are more than balanced by your strong contributions to the core purpose of this place.
Hope you hang around awhile longer.
“As an older man I see their timeline in full view. They are all exceptions. And when you line up all those exceptions in succession, you get the rule: AWALT.” Razorwire, amen. Well put. My experiences with women, when put in order chronologically, illustrates a peculiar series of “victimizations of hypergamy” that I suspect is horribly common for men my age (40). From way back, when I left for basic training and had three “plates”, I can see (and have actually heard versions of, numerous times) the dynamic of “I know you are a winning lottery ticket, but I’ll cash… Read more »
” I feel at home, calm and free at sea so I intend to spend as much of the rest of my life as I can doing so. ” Ditto, although feeling just as calm and free on a bicycle presents a dilemma to me. “I may have to lower my sights at some point . . .” A simple 22-24 footer that you can maintain yourself will get you there quicker and keep you there longer. That boat of your dreams will likely turn out to be the dream killer itself. See Larry and Lin Pardy: http://www.landlpardey.com/ “And when… Read more »
Racism is a chronic infection of the internet. There is no cure. And scratching only makes it worse.
We all have our coping mechanisms. I just ignore it best I can, ridicule it if it won’t be ignored.
Mmm-mmm-mmmh! We’ve all been here….
haven’t even reached half way and hit that like button quick!
I can’t be part of a community that doesn’t shun anti-semites and racists
Translation: Since my bullying attempt was an epic failure, I’ll try for a Hail Mary Amog attempt and threaten to take my marbles and go home.
Lol, nice try.
I empathize with your position, but you will have to make landfall periodically.
ROTFLMAO. Cue picture of a man with a flat @$$.
I had an encounter with a woman who spoke very publicly in class about liking sexual attention–very Red Pill in contrast to the dance instructor’s Blue Pill crap about avoiding women’s b00bs while dancing. (I’m not saying to deliberately grope some strange broad’s b00bs, but saying that women are put off by accidental b00bal contact during dancing is absurd.) I blogged about this.
Is this all we are? A groom is the man willing to pay for pussy that is free for others. A bride is a woman who uses her used up pussy as a bargaining chip to arm twist a groom to pay for her sustenance. This red pill is very bitter indeed.
@cheupez
Is this all we are?
It isn’t so much a description of what humans are as a description of the nature of their intersexual relationships in the age of Overt Hypergamy.
I like to think the sum of any given human being can be far greater than that. Of course that might be blind optimism as well, but I prefer to at least allow for a positive view of my self and my possibilities.
And then you die.
chuppie, ol buddy, don’t worry about how da wimminz see us. Just pursue your mission. Gamer Maxim: “Pussy is just pussy.” The opinions of women are worth every cent that you pay for them. Nothing.
@kfg
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/841/623/e24.gif
[…] Tomassi of The Rational Male has a post up titled “That was then” with a sad wistful accompanying picture of a young teenage girl in a white dress holding the […]
The response above at Secular Patriarchy is one of the most insulting things I’ve ever read.
@BP
Now, I can understand the logic behind Rollo’s hostile interpretation of the woman’s rejection of him but if you just look at what the woman is actually saying there is no need to react with hostility.
Hear that? That’s the sound of a twin turbo + nitrous spinning up on that hamster wheel.
@ Sun
I know nothing about that blogger but based on what you quoted I’d assume either typical stupid woman, or beta-white knight with teenage daughters.
I left a comment in mod at SP. Let’s see if it gets through.
@Sun Wukong Thanks for that link to the, “Marry the girl when she turns 30!” article I don’t believe it! Just when I thought no one could be mad enough to say it! So now this is the advice we should be giving our sons: Marry the woman who asks you to come back when she is 30: BECAUSE “If you want children and she is too old to have additional biological children with you then her having children from her previous failed marriage is a very very good thing as it allows you to be a father in regards… Read more »
SP article closes with: “Instead learn from your mistakes and weaknesses that led to your failure with her the first time around and be very very grateful for the second chances she gives to you to be with her at a later point in life so that both you and her can have a second chance at happiness and love together at a later age if both you and her share the misfortune together of not being lucky with someone else when your second chance to be with your beloved from high school arrives” 90 word sentence on the web!… Read more »
Far be it from me to stop any guy from their willing, proactive cuckoldry, but I can’t help but wonder what this guy’s(?) advice would be for the husband in this post:
http://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/
@Rollo
Can’t help thinking you should retroactively add your overheard pour girl comment to that article. Visceral, succinct illustration of the entire dynamic in action.
@Badpainter
Why don’t you travel to a different locale where the sexual market place isn’t so skewed against men? Even in the US, there is a stark difference between NYC and Philadelphia.
Most players rely on high traffic areas to ply their trade. The legendary Nic Krauser has a 1/40 success rate in London. Perhaps you aren’t in a high traffic area.
Or maybe it is time for a trip to SEA? It’s always sunny in the Philippines. And the sun is practically blinding in Cambodia!
Funnily enough the discussion here on this thread is SOP, no worries, maybe the shared awarenesses amoung us make it easier even when I disagree with a particular comment. But that Speculum Patrimalarkey guy? That made me see RED. “Thanks for shaming” is my new signoff to doodz like that. You’re gonna shame us because we say what time it is? It isn’t “hatred” to accurately unpack the psychology behind “come back when you’re 30.” OK: It’s not pretty. It does not enhance your self-esteem. She’s not even thinking it consciously. It’s hardwired, it’s in the hind-brain, it’s evo-psych, IT’S… Read more »
Scarcity mentality is debilitating in more ways than one.
One thing I’ve learned from writing for as long as I have is that when an idiot is explaining himself do them the courtesy of not interrupting.
@Rollo “Those pretty lies serve two purposes; first, to comfort the Beta and keep him compliant in his servitude when his woman gets hot for the Alpha he isn’t, and second, to shit test his belief in them to reconfirm that he Just Doesn’t Get It.” That used ot happen so often @Sun wukong Great points reading your comments just add so much muscle to the article. @Badpainter I read Anthem and i appreciate that book more in 2015 than ever. I understood that centuries of chains and lashes will not kill the spirit of man nor the sense of… Read more »
Rollo, that sounds like a cute neg of us commentators.
@ SJF
…
@SJF
Who’s this “us”? You got a toad in your pocket that you taught to type?
SJF – Rollo is referring to that blue pill dude jessie’s post on Speculum Patrimalarkey. I mean wtf??
@ asd – hat tip to your post on his site